Help for pathological liars
What Is Pathological Lying, and Can It Be Treated?
Written by WebMD Editorial Contributors
Medically Reviewed by Dan Brennan, MD on October 25, 2021
In this Article
- What Is Pathological Lying?
- Characteristics of Pathological Lying
- Treatment for Pathological Lying
People sometimes call someone who lies a lot a “pathological liar.” Frequent dishonesty isn’t a good habit, but it doesn’t fit the official definition of pathological lying.
To be labeled as a pathological liar, a person must lie frequently and for no good reason. Pathological liars harm themselves with their behavior, but they keep doing it despite the consequences.
What Is Pathological Lying?
Psychiatrists have recognized pathological lying as a type of behavior for hundreds of years. It’s also called “pseudologia fantastica” or “mythomania.” It isn’t listed as an official diagnosis in the psychiatric guidebook called the DSM-V.
But it is a real and troubling condition.
Lying is a common behavior in humans. When someone tells a lie, there is often a clear reason for them to do so. Lying is a tool that people use to achieve a goal.
Pathological liars often lie without any reason. Their lies are extensive and elaborate. The urge to lie is compulsive. They often can’t control the impulse to make up stories, even when this causes them harm. They may lose jobs and ruin relationships because of their lying.
It isn’t clear whether pathological liars understand that what they say isn’t true. Some people fully believe in the things they say, even when they are clearly false. Other pathological liars will admit that they have been lying only when their lies are proved false.
Pathological lying usually starts when a person is in their teens. They continue the pattern for years. Their lying might become a problem that affects their relationships, career, and family.
Characteristics of Pathological Lying
Pathological lying is different from the occasional lies most people tell.
It’s even different from patterns of dishonesty you might see in someone who’s trying to hide bad habits like infidelity or substance abuse.
Researchers have found that pathological liars tell lies without good reason and without worrying about the consequences. They usually don’t plan to tell the lies. They also make up elaborate stories about themselves. It’s a lifelong behavior, and they can’t control the urge to lie.
Experts look for four main behaviors when trying to figure out if someone is a pathological liar:
Excessive lying.Pathological liars lie more than most people. They may make up stories that sound real enough that other people believe them. They then have to add more lies to back up the original lies. The lies they tell can also be outlandish and easily disproved. They might falsely claim to have received an award or say that still-living family members died.
Lying without good reason. The lies that pathological liars tell differ from lies most people tell because there isn’t a reason for them.
Most people will tell small lies to avoid unpleasant consequences, like saying you were late because of traffic instead of admitting that you overslept. Pathological liars don’t have a clear motive. They tell stories that don’t benefit them and might actually hurt them when the truth comes out.
Long-term problem. Pathological lying happens for years. It begins when a person is young and continues indefinitely and in all areas of life. Their dishonesty might be the thing people remember most about them.
No other mental illness. A pathological liar might have other mental conditions such as depression or anxiety. But that isn’t the cause of their lying. Pathological lying is a condition, not a symptom of something else.
Treatment for Pathological Lying
Treating pathological lying is complicated. No medication will fix the issue. The best option is psychotherapy. But even therapy can pose challenges, because pathological liars aren’t in control of their lying.
They may start telling lies to the therapist instead of addressing the problem directly.
Treatment will depend on what the person needs and what they respond to during therapy sessions. Finding a qualified, experienced therapist who can work with someone over the long term is the key to managing the condition.
If you or someone you know has symptoms of pathological lying, it’s important to get help. A therapist can make a treatment plan to control pathological lying. With time and work, a pathological liar can minimize the effects that their behavior has on themselves and their loved ones.
Are You A Habitual Liar? How To Stop Lying
Written by: Rita Milios
Last updated on July 15, 2022
My client seemed genuinely perplexed. “I really don’t know why I lie so much,” he said. “I lie about almost everything, even stupid, little stuff. It’s like I don’t know how to tell the truth.”
Lies seem to serve the same purpose as the addictive substance itself – they provide an escape from difficulty…-Rita Milios
I could see in my client’s face and hear in his voice that he really did not want to be a compulsive liar.
He just didn’t seem to be able to stop himself. Lying is extremely common among people with addictions. But why?
Lies seem to serve the same purpose as the addictive substance itself. They provide an escape from difficulty and unpleasantness. At first, the addict will lie to protect his or her secrets. The will lie to get out of trouble. Perhaps they will lie to avoid criticism that might lead to feelings of shame and guilt.
Eventually lying becomes a habit, even another addictive process, because it comes to feel comfortable and safe. Meanwhile, telling the truth becomes ever more risky and scary.
What Is Habitual Lying?
Habitual lying is when an individual lies with such frequency that it becomes a regular behavior. This is often times triggered by addiction and the many struggles that come with it. It is important to distinguish between denial, delusions and lies. Even though they are similar and all three are often techniques used in addiction as defense mechanisms, the subtleties between them can help a recovering person learn about themselves, their motivations and ultimately, how to turn away from these self-destructive habits.
- Denial is not limited to addiction. It is a subconscious, protective mechanism that the brain uses to prevent a mental “computer crash” when an experience is too traumatic to be processed immediately.
- Lying is a deliberate changing of the truth, by either re-stating facts as something different, or by “adjusting” or leaving out certain portions.
- Delusions are distortions of reality, akin to “wishful thinking,” where the mind subconsciously or unconsciously comes to believe that the self-created distortions are real – at least in the part of the mind where the addiction lives and thrives.
The addictive process tends to progress from denial and outright lying toward delusion because it makes it easier to live with one’s self if the fabrications that seem to be necessary for survival feel “real.” Yet, there is always another part of the mind that knows the truth.
Addiction becomes a battleground for these two opposing mental states.
Recovery happens when the truth, with all its pain and shame, is finally acknowledged. A conscious choice is made to commit to honesty and healing versus lies and self-destruction.
What Causes A Lying Addition?
We all seek approval and avoid rejection. Lying addiction is a defense mechanism to protect one’s self image against a number of things. Being addicted to lying may be the result of:
- Shame: John Bradshaw, a leading authority on addiction, believes that shame is the driving force behind addiction. Shame is recognition of wrongdoing, but without a separation of one’s self from the wrongful act. Shame processes mentally as “ I made a mistake and I cannot recover. I am a failure. I am defective,” rather than “I made a bad choice and acted badly. I need to change and make up for my mistake.”
- Negative Consequences: People with addictions hope that things will work themselves out without them having to take any action.
So they convince themselves that they can avoid the consequences associated with their bad choices. This avoidant coping style is common in addiction. - Criticism and Confrontation: Intense shame often makes it difficult for addicts to handle criticism, so they lie to avoid confrontation or other circumstances where criticism of them may arise.
- Fear of Repercussions: Addicts at some level know that sooner or later they will have to change if they are to survive. But fear of the repercussions of returning to a state of honesty (shame, guilt, possible additional damage to relationships) makes it difficult to commit to this path until all possible options for avoidance have been exhausted.
How To Stop Lying
Recovery is hard. It requires intense and difficult soul-searching and facing one’s most shameful feelings. But it is worth it.
One of the first steps toward recovery is to recognize that shame and guilt and other negative character traits are not qualities that are unique to addicts.
Such obstacles are in all of us, and it is simply the job of adulthood to address them and – rather than try to eliminate them – to integrate them into our larger personalities.
We often need to recognize that we will never fulfill the internal images of our “idealized selves”. These unrealistic counterparts to our shadow selves must also be integrated so that the real self, that lies somewhere in between, can emerge. Recovery requires calling a truce in the war between our idealized selves and our shadow selves.
Recovery requires calling a truce in the war between our idealized selves and our shadow selves.-Rita Milios
There may come a time when pathological liar treatment is necessary. This is where Liars Anonymous or a 12 step program for lying can help. Step 1 is about recognizing the need to align with, and ask for assistance from, something higher than the personality part that you are currently aligned with.
Calling on a Higher Power (God, your own higher nature, your soul part) allows you to define yourself as someone who has this positive aspect, but not in a self-centered, egotistical way as viewed by the idealized self.
It aligns you to a greater Will, which has not only your own, but the good of all, as its agenda. Then you can begin to dissolve your shame and restore your faith in your own innate goodness.
How To Stop Compulsive Lying:
If you want to know how to stop lying compulsively there are a few steps you should take to hold yourself accountable. If you are wondering how to help a compulsive liar in your life it would also be beneficial to encourage them to work through these actions:
- Admit that you have a problem with lying. As long as you are in denial, you won’t stop lying.
- Be accountable to someone. Talk to a friend, a counselor, or a 12-step sponsor and commit to being completely truthful with them.
- Consider the consequences. Sooner or later, your lies will be exposed, and you risk losing people’s trust and friendship. But by admitting your lies and committing to positive change, it is more likely that you will be given a second chance to repair broken trusts.
- Journal. When you lie, reflect on the reasons for your lies. Become aware of automatic, habituated, irrational thoughts. Then consider alternate, more positive choices that will help you meet your emotional needs with honesty and honor.
- Set positive, life-enhancing goals and make concrete plans to work toward these. Give yourself something to be genuinely proud of yourself about, so that lies and deceptive, pretentious ego-boosts are no longer necessary in your life.
If you or someone you know is suffering from habitual lying, seek advice from a medical professional on finding the right treatment options for you or the person you know. You can also contact American Addiction Centers (AAC) for free at for help locating treatment centers near your location.
Articles Related to Drug and Alcohol Addiction Treatment for Compulsive Lying
Pathological liars: what makes them lie?
145,047
Man among menKnow thyselfPractices how to
- Photo
- Shutterstock/Fotodom.ru
Will you swear that you will always tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Hardly, like 99.99% of the people in the world. Anyone who claims that he has never lied is clearly disingenuous. However, most can honestly say that they are at least trying not to cheat.
But there is a special category of people for whom lying is a way of life. It is easier for pathological and compulsive liars to make up three boxes than to tell the truth. Why do they do it and how to crack them? nine0003
Pseudology fantasy
Pathological lie, mythomania or Pseudologia Fantastica, causes a lot of controversy among psychologists and psychiatrists. Some believe that this is only a symptom of a more complex disorder (for example, borderline personality disorder, sociopathy or narcissism), others are convinced that this is a deviation in itself.
It has been suggested that this is a special form of addiction: a person cheats under the influence of a psychological impulse, like an alcoholic, a smoker or a gambler, in response to specific triggers.
However, the fact remains that some people lie all the time. nine0003
Their deceit can be called chronic, since it is observed throughout life, or habitual in the sense that it becomes second nature
People of this type always act under the influence of internal motivation, and not external factors. In other words, they lie not so much to avoid the unpleasant consequences of the truth, but for the sake of "sport interest".
Pathological liars are not so easy to recognize, especially on a superficial acquaintance or at the beginning of a relationship. They may seem interesting, intelligent, sociable, charming. Their true face is revealed only with time, and then communication becomes strained. Lying endlessly can destroy friendships, loves, work relationships, and even families. nine0003
Pathological and compulsive lying: what is the difference?
Two types of lies have their own characteristics.
How do you know who you are dealing with?
Pathological liars:
-
Lie down with a specific purpose,
-
Invent fantastic stories that can endlessly complement with new details,
-
Believe everything that the outfits,
-
are indignant when they are suspected in deceit,
-
lie to strengthen their authority,
-
do not blush or feel embarrassed.
Compulsive liars:
-
seriously believe that they are obliged to lie: either because they do not know how to do otherwise, or if it is inconvenient to tell the truth,
-
often lie for no clear reason and without any benefit, 9003
-
make up fables on the go without really thinking about credibility,
-
prefer "holy" lies, which they think others would like to hear,
-
tend to feel someone else's distrust,
-
when they are caught, they confess that they are lying, but continue to fool others.
These differences are very conditional, because deceivers easily change masks.
- Photo
- Shutterstock/Fotodom.ru
What caused this behavior?
There is no clear scientific explanation for the tendency to communicate deliberately false information. This behavior is due to many genetic and environmental factors, but this set is unique for everyone. Here are the most common reasons. nine0003
1. Personality disorders
As mentioned above, lying at every turn can be a symptom of a mental disorder.
2. Features of the brain
A number of studies point to structural abnormalities in the brains of pathological liars. One such study revealed increased white matter volume in three regions of the prefrontal cortex.
Other authors believe that a persistent tendency to lie is formed as the restraining emotional reaction of the amygdala weakens.
Earlier studies found that 40% of pathological liars had damage to the central nervous system caused by epilepsy, head trauma, or dangerous infections. nine0003
3. The costs of education
In childhood, we all learn what is good and what is bad. At an early age, a person may lie out of fear of punishment or for profit, and later this becomes an unconditional attitude.
4. Chemical addiction
Drug addicts and alcoholics often use cunning to hide their problem and at the same time swindle money: addictions “turn off” conscience.
5. Other psychological problems
A person who lies frequently may suffer from depression, anxiety, or obsessive-compulsive disorder. Such behavior may be associated with fear, guilt or shame, unwillingness to admit their condition. It is important to understand that not every person with such a diagnosis is a pathological deceiver! nine0003
- Photo
- Shutterstock/Fotodom.ru
Signs of pathological and compulsive lying
If you suspect that you are regularly fooled, pay attention to the characteristic signs of lying.
1. The stories of the liars are absolutely unbelievable
If you find yourself shaking your head often, refusing to believe the fables, it seems that you have come across just such a person. Someone tells how they dined with Tom Cruise or set a world record for eating sausages? You are not mistaken. nine0003
2. There is a desire to get attention
If someone lies to gain interest, and goes out of his way to prove his own worth, you are a pathological liar. They practice two ways to attract attention: Instead of admitting their mistake or honestly saying that they are in trouble, such people are talking nonsense, just to look sinless.
Make yourself a victim. nine0018 To enlist the sympathy and support of others, they complain about imaginary misfortunes.
Illnesses, death of loved ones, someone's cruelty and other catastrophes in which they allegedly suffered.
3. Liars have low self-esteem
By itself, it does not indicate pathological or compulsive lying, but in combination with other signs, it completes the portrait of a shameless deceiver. Usually low self-esteem is found in compulsive liars: it hides anxiety and insecurity. nine0003
4. They should have the last word
Arguing with a pathological liar is like banging your head against a wall. He will give the most ridiculous arguments until you get tired of arguing, just to get out of the fight as a winner. Compulsive liars are easier: they are embarrassed when they are exposed and do not insist on their own.
5. They are extremely resourceful
They manage to invent plausible versions for all occasions with lightning speed, create suitable lies literally out of thin air and present them in a convincing form. nine0003
6.
They know how to turn everything upside down If liars feel that they are close to failure, they immediately back up and change the meaning of what was said. But it is useless to catch them at their word: they will object and say that you misheard or misunderstood.
7. Their life is chaotic and full of tragedies
They get out as best they can, trying to seem honest, but sooner or later people realize that something is wrong here. Relationships crumble, another job is lost, friends turn away, but the pathological liar is still rushing about in search of simpletons who can be hung noodles on their ears. nine0003
8. They do not know how to keep secrets and love to gossip
They are not familiar with the concept of decency: they enthusiastically discuss the details of someone else's life, including intimate ones. Nothing is sacred to them.
- Photo
- Shutterstock/Fotodom.ru
How to behave with them
It would seem that there is nowhere clearer - to stop communicating and delete from life. But it's not always easy, and it's not always necessary. Not all deceivers are notorious crooks. nine0003
If you are convinced that you have encountered a narcissist or a sociopath, then there is no question: stay away from him, and do not let your conscience torment you. But if someone close to you has serious psychological problems or addiction, you probably shouldn’t say goodbye to them. What to do?
1. To believe… if necessary
To look for a lie in every word is more expensive for yourself. Yes, a person often lies, but still able to be honest. He may be exaggerating, but he's basically telling the truth. At the very least, try to figure out when to trust him and when not. nine0003
Do you remember slippery topics, during the discussion of which you often caught your interlocutor in a lie? Or periods of exacerbation, when the propensity to lie became too obvious?
A healthy skepticism doesn't hurt, but if you're not completely sure that everything you've said is a complete lie, why not assume that you're being told the truth? Of course, this does not apply to important issues: here you need to check everything.
A modicum of trust is needed: when a person knows that he will be accused of deceit anyway, why should he be honest? Those who are trusted are more likely to reveal the truth, especially if the lie is associated with guilt or shame. nine0003
2. Understand why they lie
We feel bitter when we are deceived, and this is a natural emotional reaction. Critical thinking can help you deal with it. Think: why does a person lie? What drives them? What is the reason?
If you can figure out the motives, a little bit of sympathy will surely appear. Your emotions may not subside immediately, but sooner or later you will calm down and be able to take a sober look at the situation.
3. Accept it as a fact: lies will be repeated more than once
Pathological or compulsive liars do not always control their speech. Therefore, it is wiser to admit that they are like that and you have to live with it somehow. This does not mean forcing yourself to believe tall tales or accepting their behavior as the norm.
The main thing is to realize that not every lie is said with malicious intent.
They can't help but lie. At least not now, given certain circumstances. Of course, no one forbids fighting this, but you yourself will not change anything. Try to look at it philosophically and not take it to heart. nine0003
4. Convince them to ask for help
If the interlocutor has developed a tendency to lie relatively recently, you can guess what the matter is (depression, addiction in the initial stage, childhood psychotrauma) and the person is dear to you, try to persuade him to see a psychotherapist.
People who constantly lie are not easy. And yet, do not rush to write them down as scoundrels or malicious manipulators. There are many causes for pathological or compulsive lying, and although this habit harms both those who are lied to and those who lie, it is treatable. nine0003
Daniel Levitin "Guide to Lies"
This book will help you recognize lies and process any information critically.
From it you will learn how to critically evaluate news, advertising, reports; it is easy to be persuasive by telling stories that subtly deviate from the facts - and how to recognize such stories; work with graphs and recognize data manipulation using visual means; determine who is behind the expertise, words, website, information. nine0003
Advertising. www.mann-ivanov-ferber.ru
Text: Natalia Spiridonova Photo source: Shutterstock
New on the site
Sense of humour, attitude towards children, temperament: 9 characteristics that cannot be changed in a partner
Beware, dangerous self-development: how recognize low-quality personal growth training - 5 signs
Emotional response: how to cope with experiences without harm to yourself and others
Quiz: What role would you play in a New Year's movie? nine0003
“How do I know if I have OCD?”
How to manipulate other people's memory: "bad advice" from a neurophysiologist
14 ideas for spending time with your family during the New Year holidays
"Let them be independent": 9 tips for parents of children with a strong character
Pathological lies: causes, symptoms.
consequences Experts say - a lie does not always mean a bad character, a desire to offend, manipulate. A pathological liar is regarded by experts as a sick person. What is the basis of such behavior, which can lead to serious consequences? nine0003
Definition of pseudology
Normally, a person resorts to lies to achieve goals. Pathological deceit is found in people who do not want to benefit, deception in this case is obsessive. There is no motivation. The official medical name for pathology is pseudology. It exists as a separate diagnosis, may be included in the symptom complex of diseases. The most common type of pseudology is Munchausen's syndrome. It lies in the fact that an absolutely healthy person behaves like a sick person. Allocate delegated syndrome and by proxy. Delegated occurs in mothers. Foaming at the mouth, they prove that their child is sick and demand medical assistance. Although in fact the child is absolutely healthy. nine0003
Reasons for constant lying
The mechanisms of this behavior are not fully understood.
Experts identify 9 theories: neglect, childhood abuse, genetic, biological causes, low self-esteem, depression, substance abuse, personality disorders.
Psychiatrists, psychotherapists claim that the causes are not always related to mental health. It can be TBI, organic brain damage. The list of diseases can be quite extensive. nine0003
Differences between lies and pseudology
Mythomania allows a person to feel his importance, to attract attention. Each event can be seasoned with lies, enjoying the process.
Main differences:
| pseudology | Plain lies nine0288 |
| Purpose: none. Lies break into facts | Purpose: hide mistakes, attract attention |
| False stories are overgrown with a lot of details | Mostly to the point, without small details |
| Lies are the meaning of life, everyday, repeated | Mostly isolated cases |
| A person does not always give an account that he is telling a lie. | The liar clearly understands what he is doing, knows the consequences |
found in pathologies In both cases, the revealed lie leads to a deterioration in communication with the person who lied.
Example A man is in despair - he is on the verge of being fired. The reason is lies. He told his colleagues about his non-existent incurable disease. According to him, he is undergoing palliative therapy. At first, colleagues sympathized, helped, cared, showed sensitivity. After a couple of weeks, they began to have doubts. The pathological liar was forced to lie even more. The goal was to close the previous untruth. When he was cornered, the man stopped appearing at the workplace. The consequences of his behavior were emotional distress, dismissal. Relatives say that such behavior is normal for him. Previously, the man was fired from three jobs for the same reason. Relatives try to explain to him and prove him wrong, but this is impossible.
The liar proved his truth. nine0003
Manifestations of pathological lies
Constant lying has a number of pronounced symptoms. Mythomaniacs lie convincingly, a lot and colorfully. They easily manage to convince the interlocutor of the sincerity of their stories. The trouble is that such people do not realize that they are constantly lying.
Clinical manifestations of pseudology can be:
- lie for no apparent reason;
- faith in what was said; nine0044
- self-doubt, low self-esteem;
- inability to keep promises;
- exaltation of oneself, praise;
- communication problems.
Important! Experts say that sooner or later lies will be revealed. the desire to communicate with such a person disappears. In the end, he ends up in splendid isolation. Which negatively affects the psyche.
nine0016 How to live with a person who lies all the time Living with a chronic liar is not easy.
This requires endurance and patience. A chronic liar does not try to harm others. To set up life with such a character, you need to know the basics of lies. With personality disorders, a person is explained that he hurts others, harms, will lead to a break in relationships. The reaction to a lie should not be violent, negative. Quite the contrary - calm.
In cases of the birth of a lie due to an organic brain lesion, it will be difficult for a person to understand the essence of the claims, and will not be able to give feedback. In this case, hospitalization, drug treatment is indicated. nine0003
Relatives should not be indulged in the pathological lies of an adult. A pathological liar must understand that there will be no concessions for his behavior. It shouldn't be ignored either. There is no corresponding response, no incentive to improve.
Sign up for an online consultation if you notice that there is a pathological liar in your environment. Our psychologists will help to cope with this problem, provide psychological support to loved ones, and draw up a plan for further action.
Our experts are ready to answer questions at any time of the day. nine0003
Recognize lies by non-verbal cues
If a person knows how to control his voice, then body language, facial expressions remain uncontrolled. There are a number of signs in cases where a person is constantly lying. It is the unconscious that will give it away. What to pay attention to?
Obvious signs of deception:
- muscle clamps. It looks something like this: when talking, a potential liar begins to swing one arm strongly, while the other is pressed against the body. It is possible to increase the timbre of the voice to a screech; nine0044
- the depth and frequency of breathing are accelerated;
- the person blinks frequently;
- dry mouth, sweating;
- aggression;
- theatrical movements;
- the desire to straighten a shirt, unbutton buttons, loosen a tie.
It is equally important to remember that when evaluating a liar, they look at a combination of factors: the situation, the correspondence of words, facial expressions, movements, postures.
nine0003
FAQ
What is the psychology of a person who lies constantly?
+
If a person lies all the time, this is considered a pathology. There are many underlying reasons. It can be mental illness, a desire to exalt oneself, to pay attention. Quite often, the patient is not aware of his lie, believing in it sacredly.
Is there a concept of "lying syndrome"?
+ nine0003
This is understood as Munchausen's syndrome. When a person is lying, telling tall tales or acting like a sick person. This state is characterized by embellishment in colors of either past events or fictional ones.
Can a potential liar lie to the eye?
+
Of course, that's usually what happens. Recognizing pathological lies is sometimes quite difficult, as a person sounds convincing. In this case, asking leading questions, you can understand who is in front of you.
nine0003
Why, when a person lies, does he continue to invent fables?
+
It is a natural desire to hide one lie with another. The deceiver understands that he needs to somehow get out and begins to lie even more. Thus burying himself with his head.
Expert opinion
For a constantly lying person, life becomes a continuous overcoming of obstacles. The reasons for this behavior are varied. It is difficult to identify a pathological liar right away. To do this, just watch him, the dissonance of words, physiognomy, body language. Several leading questions can be asked. Those close to such a person need to be patient and not indulge in lies. If necessary, seek help from specialists. nine0003
We publish only verified information
Article author
Monakhova Albina Petrovna clinical psychologist nine0003
Experience 17 years
Consultations 1439
Articles 292
Specialist in clinical psychology.
