Get my daughter pregnant
tomas did you get my daughter pregnant
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MY DAUGHTER IS PREGNANT! WHAT TO DO?
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Table of Contents
FIND THE APPROACH
LISTEN TO HER
LET HER DECIDE
Finding out that your teenage daughter (or your son's girlfriend) is pregnant can shock you. For some parents, this information may become known soon after you find out that your child is already sexually active or just dating someone.
You will certainly feel a range of emotions, including anger, fear, frustration, or excitement. Perhaps she has either already made the decision to keep the baby, or she is still weighing the pros and cons. No matter what state she is in during her pregnancy, now that she has told you about it, you will have to come to terms with this fact. However, you can do a lot to support her.
FIND AN APPROACH
It's okay to be shocked because your daughter just revealed she's pregnant. Of course, you need some time to think it over before you sit down and talk. Let her know that you are glad that she did not hide it, and that you love her. Try to find someone your daughter trusts and discuss the situation with them. So it will be easier for you to start a serious conversation, knowing some of the nuances of her personal life.
LISTEN TO HER
When talking to your daughter about her pregnancy, try to remain calm. Yes, you have your own opinion about whether she should keep the child or not, but while you are bothering yourself with these thoughts, you must remember that the choice is ONLY hers.
Listen to her. What does she want from you now? Some moms-to-be want their parents involved in the decision-making process, others just want their parents to know what's going on and be supportive. Let her lead the process and try to get rid of all negative emotions, speak with full frankness about your own experience if you feel that this can support her or give new knowledge.
Photo source: Pixabay by Nastya_Gepp
LET HER DECIDE
If she's not sure what she's going to do, it may be tempting for you to try to convince her to accept your point of view and do what's best for you. Don't do this. If she feels pressured to agree with you just because you insisted on it, she is likely to make a decision she will eventually regret. The feeling of your "guardianship" in this matter will also make her doubt everything.
Let her know what kind of support you can offer her. For example: "I can help you with money for the baby, don't worry about it" or "We can talk to the school principal about continuing your studies after the birth." Ask her what specific help she expects from you, and be honest with yourself and her about what she should realistically expect.
If she is having difficulty deciding what she should do, ask if she would like to talk to someone else, perhaps a specialist—psychologist, gynecologist, or someone else. If not, then don't force it. If she really wants to talk to a professional, then be careful who you turn to. Try to find a person who will not put pressure on her and insist on the "only right" decision.
If you have a disagreement with your daughter about pregnancy, you may find it helpful to seek counseling individually and/or together. It is important that you accept her decision, and talking to a specialist can help you with this.
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This article is for educational purposes only and does not constitute scientific material or professional medical advice. For diagnosis and treatment, please contact your doctor. See rating of doctors.
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Teenage daughter is pregnant: how to help her?
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For parentsRelationship crisisTeenagers
A rare teenage pregnancy is planned and desired. More than half of the pregnancies end in childbirth. In other cases, girls have an abortion, about one in six miscarriages occur.
But it doesn't matter when exactly your daughter says to you, "I think I'm pregnant." How to react to these words to parents, what to say to the girl, and most importantly, what to do? Advice from Child Sexuality Specialist Debra Haffner.
Take a deep breath and try to calm down. First of all, the daughter must be listened to. You can say, for example, "Tell me why you think you might be pregnant" or "Tell me what happened" or "Tell me what you're going to do. " Maybe your daughter just missed her period and doesn't know for sure she's pregnant.
You can check with a home test, which is about 85% accurate, but a clinic test is more reliable.
In the event of an unplanned pregnancy, your daughter has three main options.
- Save the pregnancy, give birth and raise a child, alone or with a partner.
- Save the pregnancy and give the child up for adoption.
- Have an abortion.
Note that the choice is your daughter's to make. No matter how much you want to decide everything for her, the final decision remains with her. Before the age of 15, your consent will be required for your daughter to have an abortion. But for the preservation of pregnancy, as well as for the abandonment of the born child, the consent of only young parents is required.
Interestingly, unlike the girl's parents, the child's father does not legally have the right to prevent the girl from having an abortion, but he may not give his consent to give the child up for adoption.
This does not mean that you should withdraw yourself. Your daughter will need your help
After all, she needs to decide what decision to make and what will be its consequences. If possible, try to involve the father of the child in the discussion, no matter how angry you are with him now. Remind yourself that your daughter is also responsible for what happened.
Ideally, the parents of both teenagers should be involved in the discussion. Decisions should not be hasty, but still make a decision as quickly as possible. Abortion is safest in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. Medical abortion, by taking certain drugs, without surgery, can be done within the first 7 weeks.
If there is a possibility that the girl decides to keep the pregnancy, she should register for pregnancy as soon as possible and take care of herself and the unborn child. Talking to a psychologist can also be helpful.
Making a choice
Here are some questions for you and your teenager to consider:
- Which of these options - to give birth and raise a child, to give birth and abandon him, to have an abortion - is acceptable to me?
- Which of these options is not possible for me?
- How will each of these decisions affect my life? For the life of the child's father? For my parents' lives?
- What are my plans and hopes for the future? How can a child change these plans?
- What do my religion, my beliefs say about possible solutions?
- What is best for me in the long run?
- Will I be able to provide a family for my child now?
More than half of pregnant teenage girls decide to keep their child
Of course, his birth has an impact on their future lives. Studies show that girls who have had a child in their teens have lower incomes, are more likely to live in poverty and receive financial assistance, and are less likely to get married than women who have had a child after 20 years.
Children of teenage mothers are more likely to do poorly in school and often become parents themselves during adolescence. Girls under the age of 18 are more likely to have premature babies.
On the other hand, a teenage girl can safely bear a child and become a good mother if she is given the necessary support, if her pregnancy and childbirth are managed by qualified doctors. It is important that she still get a secondary education.
Your daughter needs to consider whether she will send her child to preschool, how she will deal with financial issues, health care issues, whether she will attend classes for expectant mothers where she can receive emotional support.
Questions about the future
Before deciding to leave and raise a child, alone or together, teens may ask themselves the following questions: our education?
Unlike previous generations, most teenagers today don't get married when they find out they're expecting a baby. And most of the marriages concluded in adolescence due to the girl's pregnancy end in divorce. Most teenagers are simply not ready for the responsibilities that come with family life.
Of course, you will have to convey to your daughter the position of your family regarding marriage and raising children. Try to help her determine if her love relationship is strong enough to consider marriage.
Abortion decision
The last option your daughter has to consider is abortion. 75% of pregnant girls from high-income families and less than half of girls from low-income families decide on it. Most teenagers are worried that having a child will change their life. They do not feel mature enough and are not sure that they will be able to provide for the child financially.
Here are some questions your daughter should think about before deciding to have an abortion:
- Is anyone putting pressure on me to have an abortion?
- Do I respect women who have had an abortion?
- Will I be able to live on after having an abortion?
- What do my partner and my parents think about abortion?
- Am I sure that I want to get rid of the pregnancy?
- Is abortion consistent with my religious beliefs?
If your daughter decides to have an abortion, it is safest to have it during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy.