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How to encourage someone who is depressed


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  • SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.

    Also visit the online treatment locator.

SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.

The service is open 24/7, 365 days a year.

English and Spanish are available if you select the option to speak with a national representative. Currently, the 435748 (HELP4U) text messaging service is only available in English.

In 2020, the Helpline received 833,598 calls. This is a 27 percent increase from 2019, when the Helpline received a total of 656,953 calls for the year.

The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid. If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.

The service is confidential. We will not ask you for any personal information. We may ask for your zip code or other pertinent geographic information in order to track calls being routed to other offices or to accurately identify the local resources appropriate to your needs.

No, we do not provide counseling. Trained information specialists answer calls, transfer callers to state services or other appropriate intake centers in their states, and connect them with local assistance and support.

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Last Updated: 08/30/2022

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How to help a loved one who is in a state that is close to depressive?

Approximately one in four has experienced depression at least once in their life. It is very important to distinguish between blues, mild depression (minor depression, subdepression) and real clinical depression, which can drag on for several months.

Clinical depression is characterized by three main symptoms:

  • Bad mood. But not the kind that usually happens after a hard day or week. With depression, a person loses the ability to rejoice, does not enjoy the usual things - food, communication with friends, sex, music, films. This condition is called anhedonia.
  • Violation of thinking. It is difficult for a depressed person to think, it seems that thoughts are “like jelly”. Work is slower.
  • Motor retardation. Depression is always accompanied by a constant feeling of fatigue. Forcing yourself to go somewhere in this state is extremely difficult.

If these symptoms are observed for more than a month, then this is a reason to see a doctor, but you can cope with mild depression on your own, with the help of relatives and psychotherapy. At the same time, relatives should remember a few simple rules - what needs to be done, and what should never be said. Here are some simple tips to help you.

  • Let the person stay in this state for a while and experience it. Your loved one is very upset about something, he is not happy with what he usually loves. Don't rush him. Say phrases: “Yes, stop thinking about it!” or “We need to move forward!” - not worth it. The state of sadness is not so bad for a person. Sadness allows you to relax a little after the race that was before, to come to your senses, to rethink, so that after that you can smoothly get out of this state.
  • Do not discount the suffering of a loved one. Phrases: “Forget it”, “Stop it”, “Your failures don’t mean problems” will most likely only make things worse. A person can and should learn from his failures a lesson. It just takes time and he has to do it on his own.
  • Recognize the importance of this situation. “Yes, you tried, it didn’t work out, but it’s very important that you did it! The feelings you are experiencing right now are very important. Sadness, loss of strength - all this is natural, but I am there and will help you. It is important for a person in a state of sadness to know that someone is nearby. Always remember this.
  • Be careful with jokes. Do not joke rudely, scoff, make fun of the situation. Of course, it’s hard when a person close to you is in a bad mood, you want him to smile, and not go gloomy. It may seem that if you joke and make fun of the situation, then he will immediately cheer up and everything will immediately go smoothly. But it will most likely only get worse. Any rude intrusion, criticism will prevent you from getting out of a depressive state.
  • Don't force it. Forcibly dragging a person to parties and walks in a depressed state is strictly prohibited. The mistake is that when we see a depressed person, we want to give him the energy of life. We say: "Look how great it all is!" But a person is simply not physically able to appreciate it. When he sees how people enjoy life, this only worsens his condition, he begins to wonder: “Why can’t I do that?”. On the other hand, being active can help take your mind off negative thoughts. Try to unobtrusively offer to resume your former activity at least once a week (sports, hobbies, going to the cinema - something that previously gave pleasure to your loved one).
  • No aggression. Seeing that a person closes even more, in no case should one speak aggressively: “Why are you still in anguish?”, “Why are you sitting and being sad?”, “Pull yourself together, rag!” Such phrases are forbidden even as a joke, because they usually have the exact opposite effect.
  • Be patient. Do not do anything excessive, be more restrained and calm. But if the condition of a person close to you does not improve within a month, this is a reason to contact a psychotherapist or psychiatrist. Perhaps we are talking about clinical depression, which must be treated with medication.
  • Help get rid of the fear of specialists. Many patients with clinical depression are afraid to go to a psychotherapist or psychiatrist. They think: “What if this is something worse than just depression, what if I’m going crazy” or “I can handle it myself”. Close people at this point should gently and carefully explain: “You know, it seems to be depression, and I read that it is completely cured. We will find a way out. Let's go to the specialist together. It seems to me that this will help you get out of this state. By doing this, you once again show the person your attention to the problem and, possibly, protect your loved one from more serious problems.
  • Stay close. Even if at the moment the person refuses your help, stay close or nearby so that your friend always knows that if he needs help, he has someone to turn to.

Health to you and your loved ones!

Prepared by a psychotherapist

Ignatovich D.A.,

medical and psychological department.

How to Help a Depressed Person - Such Deeds

Every week, Such Deeds answers questions from readers. Today we will talk about depression, or rather, how to be a good friend for a person who finds himself in this state.

***

Approximately one in four has experienced depression at least once in their life. Although sometimes we, wringing our hands, call depression just an attack of bad mood. It is necessary to distinguish between blues, a mild depressive state (minor depression, subdepression) and a real clinical depression, which can drag on for several months.

Clinical depression is characterized by three main symptoms:

  • Bad mood. But not the kind that usually happens after a hard day or week. With depression, a person loses the ability to rejoice, does not enjoy the usual things - food, communication with friends, sex, music, films. This condition is called anhedonia.
  • Violation of thinking. It is difficult for a depressed person to think, it seems that thoughts are “like jelly”. Work is slower.
  • Motor retardation. Depression is always accompanied by a constant feeling of fatigue. Forcing yourself to go somewhere in this state is extremely difficult.

If these symptoms are observed for more than a month, then this is a reason to see a doctor, but you can cope with mild depression on your own, with the help of relatives and psychotherapy. But relatives should remember a few simple rules - what to do, and what should never be said. That's what psychologists recommend.

Let the person experience this state

Let's say your loved one experienced a failure, his expectations were not fulfilled, his plans were not realized. He is very upset, he is not happy with what he usually loves. Don't rush him. Say phrases: “Yes, stop thinking about it!” or “We need to move forward!” - it is forbidden. The state of sadness is not so bad for a person. Sadness allows you to relax a little after the race that was before, to come to your senses, to rethink, so that after that you can smoothly get out of this state.

Be honest

“Yes, you didn’t reach your goal, but let’s take a break and try again if you want to, no, then you can try something else.”

Do not discount failure

Phrases: “Forget it”, “Stop it”, “Your failures mean nothing” will only make things worse. A person can and should learn from his failures a lesson. It just takes time.

Recognize the importance of this situation

“Yes, you tried, it didn't work, but it's important that you did it! The feelings you are experiencing right now are very important. Sadness, loss of strength - all this is natural, but I am there and will help you.

Be careful with jokes

Do not joke rudely, scoff, ironically over the situation. Of course, it’s hard when a person close to you is in a bad mood, you want him to smile, and not go gloomy. It may seem that if you joke and make fun of the situation, then he will immediately cheer up and everything will immediately go smoothly. But it will most likely only get worse. Any rude intrusion, criticism will prevent you from getting out of a depressive state.

Do not force

It is strictly forbidden to forcefully drag a person to parties and walks in a depressed state. The mistake is that when we see a depressed person, we want to give him the energy of life. We say: "Look how great it all is!" But a person is simply not physically able to appreciate it. When he sees how people enjoy life, this only worsens his condition, he begins to wonder: "Why can't I do that?"

No aggression

Seeing that a person closes even more, in no case should one speak aggressively: “Why are you still in anguish?”, “Why are you sitting and being sad?”, “Pull yourself together, rag!” Such phrases are forbidden even as a joke.

Be patient

Do not do anything excessive, be more restrained and calm. But if the condition of a person close to you does not improve within a month, this is a reason to contact a psychotherapist or psychiatrist. Perhaps we are talking about clinical depression, which must be treated with medication.

Help get rid of the fear of specialists

Many patients with clinical depression are afraid to go to a psychotherapist or psychiatrist.

Learn more