Get irritated easily


What causes irritability? Symptoms, severity, and treatments

When a person feels irritable, small things that would not usually bother them can make them feel annoyed or agitated. The resulting tension can make a person more sensitive to stressful situations.

Irritability is a common emotion. Many factors can cause or contribute to irritability, including life stress, a lack of sleep, low blood sugar levels, and hormonal changes.

Extreme irritability, or feeling irritable for an extended period, can sometimes indicate an underlying condition, such as an infection or diabetes. It may also be a sign of a mental health condition, such as anxiety or depression.

People may experience the following symptoms along with increased irritability:

  • confusion or difficulty concentrating
  • excessive sweating
  • a rapid heartbeat
  • fast or shallow breathing

In this article, we look at what can cause irritability in adults and children and provide tips for managing irritability.

Share on PinterestLife stress is one of the major causes of irritability.

Going through a stressful period can make a person feel more irritable than usual.

When someone experiences a stressful life event — which may tie in with work, school, trauma, or grief — they may find it more difficult to manage their emotions and can become overwhelmed. They may feel less tolerant of the people around them.

Feeling overwhelmed by life stress is normal, but prolonged periods of stress can lead to emotional exhaustion. Recognizing the early signs of stress and taking steps to relieve this feeling can help people avoid burnout.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) provide useful tips for coping with life stress.

Depression affects nearly 16 million adults in the United States. It can manifest in a wide range of symptoms and often causes persistent sadness, fatigue, and irritability.

One of the early signs of depression or a depression relapse is stronger feelings of irritability.

Irritability is more likely to be one of the symptoms of depression in men than in women, and it often occurs alongside aggressive feelings, risk-taking, and substance abuse.

The National Institute of Mental Health state that people may have depression if they experience any of the following symptoms for 2 or more weeks:

  • feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or hopelessness
  • loss of interest in once pleasurable activities
  • fatigue
  • concentration or memory problems
  • headaches
  • digestive problems
  • sudden changes in appetite or weight

Not everyone experiences every symptom of depression. Symptoms can vary in severity and duration.

Feelings of anxiety often arise in response to stressful situations in life, such as problems at work, preparing for an important exam, or going through significant life changes. This type of anxiety usually goes away once the stressful situation passes.

However, anxiety may linger or worsen over time and can severely affect a person’s daily activities, work performance, and personal relationships.

If a person has excessive anxiety or worry that lasts for 6 months or longer, they may have generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), which affects up to 20% of adults in the U.S. each year.

The symptoms of GAD can occur in other types of anxiety disorder and may include:

  • irritability
  • a rapid heart rate
  • shallow breathing
  • muscle tension
  • difficulty concentrating or making decisions
  • problems falling asleep or staying asleep

People may also experience panic attacks. A panic attack refers to a period of intense fear that develops with little to no warning and peaks within minutes. The exact triggers vary from person to person, and they may not always be apparent.

People who experience panic attacks may find themselves worrying about when the next attack will occur. They might go out of their way to avoid situations, places, or behaviors that could trigger an attack. Thinking about triggers and panic attacks can make a person feel overwhelmed and irritable.

The term phobia describes an intense fear or aversion to a certain object, person, or situation.

Thinking about or having exposure to the phobic situation or item can make a person feel overwhelmed, panicky, and more irritable than usual.

People who have a phobia disorder may feel intense fear or anxiety about:

  • flying
  • heights
  • needles
  • blood
  • being outside
  • social situations
  • specific animals, such as dogs or snakes

Share on PinterestA lack of sleep can cause a person to feel irritable the next day.

Not getting enough sleep, or sleep deprivation, can make a person feel irritable the next day. Children are especially likely to be unusually irritable or emotional if they have not had enough good quality sleep.

If a person feels tired all of the time or finds that sleeping does not make them feel refreshed, they may have a sleep disorder that causes them to wake up regularly at night, such as insomnia or sleep apnea.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) state that one in three adults do not get enough sleep. They recommend that adults get at least 7 hours of sleep per night. Teenagers should get 8–10 hours per night, while babies may need up to 16 hours.

Getting enough good quality sleep is important for health. It plays a role in boosting mental performance, concentration, and immune system function, and it also reduces the risk of heart disease and depression.

People can boost their quality of sleep by adopting the following practices to improve their sleep hygiene:

  • avoiding eating large meals and drinking caffeine and alcohol before bedtime
  • sleeping in a dark, quiet room
  • removing electronic devices, such as televisions, computers, and phones from the bedroom
  • trying to fall asleep and wake up at the same time every day, including at weekends
  • getting regular exercise

Read more tips for better sleep here.

Having low blood sugar, called hypoglycemia, can affect a person’s physical and psychological health. Low blood sugar commonly affects people with diabetes as a result of them using insulin and other diabetes medications.

However, people with or without diabetes can experience temporary hypoglycemia if they have not eaten for several hours.

The symptoms of hypoglycemia include:

  • irritability or nervousness
  • difficulty concentrating
  • a rapid heartbeat
  • trembling
  • headaches
  • drowsiness
  • feeling dizzy or lightheaded

Hypoglycemia can also affect a person’s sleep. People can experience nightmares and excessive sweating throughout the night.

Hormonal imbalances can cause various physical and psychological symptoms, including irritability. High levels of stress, poor nutrition, and inadequate sleep can influence people’s hormones.

Other possible causes of hormonal imbalance include:

  • diabetes
  • hyperthyroidism
  • polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)
  • menopause

Low levels of testosterone or high levels of estrogen can cause irritability in males.

Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) is an example of a common hormonal imbalance that can result in mood swings and irritability.

PMS is very common, with over 90% of people reporting PMS symptoms in the week or fortnight before their period.

Other common symptoms of PMS include:

  • headaches
  • fatigue
  • low mood
  • increased anxiety
  • crying easily
  • food cravings
  • abdominal bloating
  • tender or swollen breasts
  • constipation or diarrhea

If a person experiences severe irritability, depression, or anxiety in the lead up to their period, they may have premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). This condition affects up to 5% of females of childbearing age. A doctor can provide information on treatment options for PMDD.

Young children go through phases of appearing more or less irritable. These phases are a normal part of development.

Children often seem irritable if they have a viral or bacterial infection. This irritability will usually go away when they feel better.

In other cases, irritability in children and adolescents can indicate a mood or behavior disorder, such as:

  • anxiety disorder
  • attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
  • oppositional defiant disorder (ODD)
  • depression

Mood and behavior disorders are relatively common. According to a 2019 study on mood and behavior disorders in children aged 3–17 years:

  • 7.4% have a behavior or conduct disorder
  • 7.1% have anxiety
  • 3.2% have depression

The causes of irritability in older adults are the same as those in younger adults, although there is an increased likelihood of mood swings, depression, and irritability having an association with physical pain, isolation, loneliness, or an underlying medical condition.

The National Institute on Aging list mood changes, personality changes, and increased agitation as early signs of Alzheimer’s disease, the most common form of dementia.

Learn more about the early signs of dementia here.

The treatment options for irritability vary depending on the underlying cause. Effectively treating the cause will relieve feelings of irritability and other related symptoms.

Medications, such as mood stabilizers and antidepressants, can help treat mood disorders. Professional counseling can help reduce mood-related symptoms, such as fear, worry, and irritability.

Treatments for hormonal imbalances include diet and lifestyle changes as well as hormone therapy.

Hormone therapy may not work for everyone, so it is best to consult a trained healthcare professional before starting hormone supplements.

Share on PinterestA person may be able to manage their irritability through regular exercise.

People can manage their irritability in several different ways. Certain methods will work better for some people than others. It is up to the individual to find which coping mechanisms best suit their personality and lifestyle.

A few general tips for managing irritability include:

  • exercising regularly
  • eating a balanced diet rich in whole foods, such as fruits and vegetables, and low in processed foods
  • maintaining a regular sleep schedule
  • practicing slow breathing techniques
  • practicing meditation
  • speaking with trusted friends and family members
  • meeting with a mental health practitioner or counselor
  • using a journal to keep track of mood changes and triggers

People can experience periods of irritability in response to stressful situations. Persistent irritability may indicate an underlying physical or psychological disorder, such as:

  • depression
  • anxiety
  • low blood sugar
  • hormonal imbalances

Children may appear irritable as a normal part of development. In other cases, irritability may be due to an infection, mood disorder, or behavior disorder, such as ADHD, depression, or anxiety.

Older adults may also experience frequent periods of irritability if they feel isolated or lonely. Neurodegenerative diseases, such as Alzheimer’s disease, can cause changes in a person’s mood or personality.

People can speak with a doctor or a trained mental health professional if they feel that they need help managing their irritability.

What causes irritability? Symptoms, severity, and treatments

When a person feels irritable, small things that would not usually bother them can make them feel annoyed or agitated. The resulting tension can make a person more sensitive to stressful situations.

Irritability is a common emotion. Many factors can cause or contribute to irritability, including life stress, a lack of sleep, low blood sugar levels, and hormonal changes.

Extreme irritability, or feeling irritable for an extended period, can sometimes indicate an underlying condition, such as an infection or diabetes. It may also be a sign of a mental health condition, such as anxiety or depression.

People may experience the following symptoms along with increased irritability:

  • confusion or difficulty concentrating
  • excessive sweating
  • a rapid heartbeat
  • fast or shallow breathing

In this article, we look at what can cause irritability in adults and children and provide tips for managing irritability.

Share on PinterestLife stress is one of the major causes of irritability.

Going through a stressful period can make a person feel more irritable than usual.

When someone experiences a stressful life event — which may tie in with work, school, trauma, or grief — they may find it more difficult to manage their emotions and can become overwhelmed. They may feel less tolerant of the people around them.

Feeling overwhelmed by life stress is normal, but prolonged periods of stress can lead to emotional exhaustion. Recognizing the early signs of stress and taking steps to relieve this feeling can help people avoid burnout.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) provide useful tips for coping with life stress.

Depression affects nearly 16 million adults in the United States. It can manifest in a wide range of symptoms and often causes persistent sadness, fatigue, and irritability.

One of the early signs of depression or a depression relapse is stronger feelings of irritability.

Irritability is more likely to be one of the symptoms of depression in men than in women, and it often occurs alongside aggressive feelings, risk-taking, and substance abuse.

The National Institute of Mental Health state that people may have depression if they experience any of the following symptoms for 2 or more weeks:

  • feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or hopelessness
  • loss of interest in once pleasurable activities
  • fatigue
  • concentration or memory problems
  • headaches
  • digestive problems
  • sudden changes in appetite or weight

Not everyone experiences every symptom of depression. Symptoms can vary in severity and duration.

Feelings of anxiety often arise in response to stressful situations in life, such as problems at work, preparing for an important exam, or going through significant life changes. This type of anxiety usually goes away once the stressful situation passes.

However, anxiety may linger or worsen over time and can severely affect a person’s daily activities, work performance, and personal relationships.

If a person has excessive anxiety or worry that lasts for 6 months or longer, they may have generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), which affects up to 20% of adults in the U.S. each year.

The symptoms of GAD can occur in other types of anxiety disorder and may include:

  • irritability
  • a rapid heart rate
  • shallow breathing
  • muscle tension
  • difficulty concentrating or making decisions
  • problems falling asleep or staying asleep

People may also experience panic attacks. A panic attack refers to a period of intense fear that develops with little to no warning and peaks within minutes. The exact triggers vary from person to person, and they may not always be apparent.

People who experience panic attacks may find themselves worrying about when the next attack will occur. They might go out of their way to avoid situations, places, or behaviors that could trigger an attack. Thinking about triggers and panic attacks can make a person feel overwhelmed and irritable.

The term phobia describes an intense fear or aversion to a certain object, person, or situation.

Thinking about or having exposure to the phobic situation or item can make a person feel overwhelmed, panicky, and more irritable than usual.

People who have a phobia disorder may feel intense fear or anxiety about:

  • flying
  • heights
  • needles
  • blood
  • being outside
  • social situations
  • specific animals, such as dogs or snakes

Share on PinterestA lack of sleep can cause a person to feel irritable the next day.

Not getting enough sleep, or sleep deprivation, can make a person feel irritable the next day. Children are especially likely to be unusually irritable or emotional if they have not had enough good quality sleep.

If a person feels tired all of the time or finds that sleeping does not make them feel refreshed, they may have a sleep disorder that causes them to wake up regularly at night, such as insomnia or sleep apnea.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) state that one in three adults do not get enough sleep. They recommend that adults get at least 7 hours of sleep per night. Teenagers should get 8–10 hours per night, while babies may need up to 16 hours.

Getting enough good quality sleep is important for health. It plays a role in boosting mental performance, concentration, and immune system function, and it also reduces the risk of heart disease and depression.

People can boost their quality of sleep by adopting the following practices to improve their sleep hygiene:

  • avoiding eating large meals and drinking caffeine and alcohol before bedtime
  • sleeping in a dark, quiet room
  • removing electronic devices, such as televisions, computers, and phones from the bedroom
  • trying to fall asleep and wake up at the same time every day, including at weekends
  • getting regular exercise

Read more tips for better sleep here.

Having low blood sugar, called hypoglycemia, can affect a person’s physical and psychological health. Low blood sugar commonly affects people with diabetes as a result of them using insulin and other diabetes medications.

However, people with or without diabetes can experience temporary hypoglycemia if they have not eaten for several hours.

The symptoms of hypoglycemia include:

  • irritability or nervousness
  • difficulty concentrating
  • a rapid heartbeat
  • trembling
  • headaches
  • drowsiness
  • feeling dizzy or lightheaded

Hypoglycemia can also affect a person’s sleep. People can experience nightmares and excessive sweating throughout the night.

Hormonal imbalances can cause various physical and psychological symptoms, including irritability. High levels of stress, poor nutrition, and inadequate sleep can influence people’s hormones.

Other possible causes of hormonal imbalance include:

  • diabetes
  • hyperthyroidism
  • polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)
  • menopause

Low levels of testosterone or high levels of estrogen can cause irritability in males.

Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) is an example of a common hormonal imbalance that can result in mood swings and irritability.

PMS is very common, with over 90% of people reporting PMS symptoms in the week or fortnight before their period.

Other common symptoms of PMS include:

  • headaches
  • fatigue
  • low mood
  • increased anxiety
  • crying easily
  • food cravings
  • abdominal bloating
  • tender or swollen breasts
  • constipation or diarrhea

If a person experiences severe irritability, depression, or anxiety in the lead up to their period, they may have premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). This condition affects up to 5% of females of childbearing age. A doctor can provide information on treatment options for PMDD.

Young children go through phases of appearing more or less irritable. These phases are a normal part of development.

Children often seem irritable if they have a viral or bacterial infection. This irritability will usually go away when they feel better.

In other cases, irritability in children and adolescents can indicate a mood or behavior disorder, such as:

  • anxiety disorder
  • attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
  • oppositional defiant disorder (ODD)
  • depression

Mood and behavior disorders are relatively common. According to a 2019 study on mood and behavior disorders in children aged 3–17 years:

  • 7.4% have a behavior or conduct disorder
  • 7.1% have anxiety
  • 3.2% have depression

The causes of irritability in older adults are the same as those in younger adults, although there is an increased likelihood of mood swings, depression, and irritability having an association with physical pain, isolation, loneliness, or an underlying medical condition.

The National Institute on Aging list mood changes, personality changes, and increased agitation as early signs of Alzheimer’s disease, the most common form of dementia.

Learn more about the early signs of dementia here.

The treatment options for irritability vary depending on the underlying cause. Effectively treating the cause will relieve feelings of irritability and other related symptoms.

Medications, such as mood stabilizers and antidepressants, can help treat mood disorders. Professional counseling can help reduce mood-related symptoms, such as fear, worry, and irritability.

Treatments for hormonal imbalances include diet and lifestyle changes as well as hormone therapy.

Hormone therapy may not work for everyone, so it is best to consult a trained healthcare professional before starting hormone supplements.

Share on PinterestA person may be able to manage their irritability through regular exercise.

People can manage their irritability in several different ways. Certain methods will work better for some people than others. It is up to the individual to find which coping mechanisms best suit their personality and lifestyle.

A few general tips for managing irritability include:

  • exercising regularly
  • eating a balanced diet rich in whole foods, such as fruits and vegetables, and low in processed foods
  • maintaining a regular sleep schedule
  • practicing slow breathing techniques
  • practicing meditation
  • speaking with trusted friends and family members
  • meeting with a mental health practitioner or counselor
  • using a journal to keep track of mood changes and triggers

People can experience periods of irritability in response to stressful situations. Persistent irritability may indicate an underlying physical or psychological disorder, such as:

  • depression
  • anxiety
  • low blood sugar
  • hormonal imbalances

Children may appear irritable as a normal part of development. In other cases, irritability may be due to an infection, mood disorder, or behavior disorder, such as ADHD, depression, or anxiety.

Older adults may also experience frequent periods of irritability if they feel isolated or lonely. Neurodegenerative diseases, such as Alzheimer’s disease, can cause changes in a person’s mood or personality.

People can speak with a doctor or a trained mental health professional if they feel that they need help managing their irritability.

What to do if everything infuriates and irritates?

From time to time everyone wants to say the phrase “How everything infuriates me!”. And this is not surprising, because life consists not only of positive events.

Everyone knows the feeling of anger - this is a normal human emotion, which has its advantages. A flash of negativity allows you to throw out negative energy, can give motivation and stimulate activity. But sometimes everything infuriates to such an extent that the emotional state gets out of control: problems begin in personal relationships, work and other areas of life. In this case, anger becomes destructive and requires correction.

Anger is a negatively colored emotional state of varying intensity: from moderate irritation to intense rage. Such a reaction is reflected not only in mood and behavior, but also in the physiological parameters of the body. When a person is too long or too much infuriated by everything around, then the following physical changes appear:

  • Increased activity of the limbic system, and then the adrenal glands and cerebral cortex, which leads to an intensive release of the corresponding hormones
  • Hyperemia (redness) of the skin due to increased blood circulation
  • Rapid heartbeat and breathing
  • Increased blood pressure
  • Muscle tension
  • Increased sweating
  • Scattered and narrowed attention

The patient may notice that his emotional background is not in order, because it interferes with a normal life. Usually a person says something like “I suck and therefore I can’t control myself”, but does not perceive this as a pathological condition with serious consequences.

If everything irritates you regularly, be prepared for the fact that this will negatively affect your health, because the listed symptoms keep the body in great tension. If they occur too often, then this can lead to a breakdown of the adaptive mechanisms of the psyche and the body as a whole.

Uncontrolled attempts to suppress anger are also dangerous. Suppressed external aggression develops into auto-aggression, that is, it is directed inside oneself. This can lead to pathological consequences in the form of the development of passive-aggressive behavior, neuroses, psychosomatic disorders and various addictions. There is an effect on different systems of the body, such as cardiovascular, immune, digestive and nervous. This leads to an increased risk of developing hypertension and stroke, exacerbation of stomach and intestinal ulcers, and reduces immunity.

If you feel that the environment annoys you too often, then try to determine the cause and deal with it. Otherwise, it can cause significant harm to the physical and mental state.

Why is everything annoying

Anger is a secondary emotion that arises in response to a perceived threat. Anger itself is not considered a separate disease, but it is a common symptom of various pathological conditions. Reasons why everything infuriates and irritates:

  1. Personal characteristics. Temper is the backdrop for developing anger control problems.
  2. Childhood and upbringing. Some set behaviors and triggers may be related to the past. The cause of persistently suppressed anger may be related to the period of childhood: for example, punishment for expressing feelings or observation and fear of adults in anger.
  3. State of stress. Life's difficulties that lead to stress exhaust the nervous system and are a common reason why everything is annoying.
  4. Mental illness. Anger and irritability can be symptoms of obsessive-compulsive or bipolar disorder, depression, attention deficit disorder in children, and other ailments.
  5. Hormonal imbalance. Complaints of irritability and emotional lability are characteristic of hyperparathyroidism, hyperthyroidism, thyroiditis, and hypercortisolism. Also the question "Why does everything infuriate me and want to cry?" pregnant women and girls during PMS are often asked. This is due to a change in the hormonal background, in particular, the level of progesterone.
  6. Use of drugs and large amounts of alcohol. Drugs change the physiological processes of the body and have a detrimental effect on the psyche. Even isolated cases of use may be enough. The state of drug intoxication and withdrawal symptoms always become the reason why anger is inside and everything is annoying.
  7. Chronic pain and somatic diseases. They do not allow to relax, sleep and exhaust the nervous system.

Irritability can be triggered both by sudden and short-term incidents, and by long-term situations. A person cannot always catch the reason why everything infuriates. This means that the elimination of the problem is unlikely. It happens that the response splashes out immediately, but sometimes it is suppressed and accumulates. The latter option is dangerous both for the state of health and for the environment - internal aggression can result in unpredictable aggressive actions.

Any of the reasons why everyone around you is annoying can be eliminated with the right approach. The problem does not always lie on the surface. Complex psychotherapeutic work may be required along with laboratory and instrumental examination of the body. If you cannot understand why everything annoys and infuriates what the reason is, an experienced specialist will definitely be able to figure it out. You should not put off seeking help, because the sooner you start to deal with the problem, the less consequences there will be for both health and social life.

What to do if everything infuriates and annoys

It is believed that anger is almost never a primary emotion. In most cases, with the help of anger, the subconscious mind tries to protect itself from feelings such as guilt, fear, pain, humiliation or powerlessness. If you have a negative attitude from morning to evening and you don’t know what to do when everyone is enraged, the advice of a psychologist can help you:

  1. Accept the fact that you have problems with anger control. Aggression is an inefficient and incorrect way of social interaction that leads to negative consequences and destroys relationships.
  2. Examine outbursts of negative emotions. Keeping an anger diary helps with this: write down the reasons for aggression there and evaluate the intensity. This will allow you to understand that the phrase “everything infuriates me how to deal with it” is not always true, because dissatisfaction has very specific reasons that cannot always be noticed without a close analysis of the situation.
  3. Use sports to release negative energy. Regular exercise and walking helps to stabilize the emotional state.
  4. If irritability has appeared recently and is associated with temporary difficulties, then rest will help you: change the situation, get enough sleep, do pleasant things. So that the nervous system can work with new forces, give it a break.
  5. Talk to loved ones. Obstacles are difficult to overcome alone. If you don't know what to do when everything is annoying and you don't want anything, the advice and support of loved ones can help
  6. Control the situation. Try to experience the next outburst of anger consciously. Mentally tell yourself: "This is not the biggest problem in the world, I can handle it." Do not respond with instant aggression, speak in an even voice, do not dwell on an unpleasant situation.
  7. Don't be afraid of professional help. If you have been regularly catching yourself thinking “everything is pissing me off how to calm down” for a long time and you can’t cope with it, don’t wait for the worst consequences. Seek help from a psychiatrist-psychotherapist or psychologist.

Everyone wants to get universal advice like “if everything infuriates you, do this or that and everything will pass right away. ” Unfortunately, that doesn't happen. The psychological and physiological features of the development of anger are complex, so it is not always possible to cope with the problem on your own. If general advice does not help, then you should seek the help of a specialist who will determine what to do with irritability and anger in your particular case.

Psychotherapy. If you want to know what to do when everything is infuriating and annoying, then psychotherapy is a recognized method for solving problems in the emotional sphere. Cognitive behavioral therapy identifies pathological thoughts and internal beliefs that influence emotions and actions. The goal is to change the mindset that leads to anger responses into healthier and more productive ones. Also, psychotherapeutic techniques work on the problems of childhood traumas, inferiority complexes, parental prescriptions and other causes of inadequate emotional response.

Transactional analysis, group and family psychotherapy are used. In response to the question of what to do if everything infuriates, the patient is given advice on normalizing the lifestyle, teaching relaxation techniques and ways to correctly transfer the energy of anger into a productive channel.

Medical treatment. If anger is a consequence of mental disorders, then appropriate treatment is prescribed - sleeping pills, antidepressants, mood stabilizers, tranquilizers and other means.

Examination and treatment of chronic diseases. The diseased state of the body affects the functioning of the nervous system and the emotional background. If the primary cause of irritation is a somatic disorder, then nothing will work without its elimination.

If you feel that you have lost control of anger and irritation, then you need to learn how to deal with them. First, try to relax and normalize your lifestyle. But if self-help did not help and everything is still annoying, only a specialist will tell you what to do.

During psychotherapy sessions, you will deal with the triggers of negative emotions, learn about the consequences of your reactions in the short and long term. Together with the doctor, analyze the thoughts that precede the irritation and find out if they correspond to reality. Psychotherapy will teach you how to resolve conflicts in a more constructive way, helping you rebuild missed opportunities and relationships.

12 ways to calm down when everything is annoying

January 24, 2022 Life

Take a deep breath and get your anger under control.

You can listen to the short version of the article. If it's more convenient for you, turn on the podcast.

We all get angry. A colleague interrupted at a meeting, the boss refused a promotion, a loved one let you down in a difficult moment - you probably began to get annoyed just remembering how something similar happened to you. And sometimes feeling angry is necessary. It gives strength to defend oneself and others in the face of injustice. This is a valid emotion, and you should not judge yourself for it.

But there is no need to blindly succumb to it. Sometimes anger paralyzes you so that you can't do anything and you lose control of the situation. Try one of the following methods to calm yourself down when you feel your emotions running high again.

1. Ask yourself if your anger is reasonable.

Take a few deep breaths and think about why you are angry.

“Before trying to get rid of anger, try to determine how reasonable it is,” advises psychologist Lauren Appio. Would it be natural for another person to be angry in such a situation? If yes, then you too. Such recognition does not mean that now you can lose your temper. It will simply help you understand your own needs.”

2. Consider whether anger is masking other feelings.

For example, fear, pain, or embarrassment. Such emotions make us feel weak, and we want to hide them. Try to breathe through your anger, but do nothing under its influence. Look under it. If you find another feeling there, deal with it: accept your feelings, change the situation, or express needs. Then the anger will subside.

Try 🤪

  • 10 Acting Practices That Will Help You Masterly Express Your Emotions

3. Get out of the room

Change the scenery or simply move away from what fuels your anger. According to psychotherapist Anita Avedian, a walk in nature is especially useful in this case. It will help your body produce endorphins, hormones of joy that reduce the sensation of pain.

If a fit of anger occurs during a quarrel, do not leave silently. Let them know you need to be alone and let them know when you'll be back.

4. Talk to your inner child

Don't dismiss this advice. According to psychologist Margaret Paul, being angry at another person can be a signal that you are not taking care of yourself in a difficult situation. Talking to your inner child will help you identify what is wrong and be kinder to yourself.

“Imagine that the angry part of you is a hysterical child who really needs compassion,” advises Paul. “Imagine hugging him with kindness and compassion. Ask him why he is mad at you. You didn't stand up for yourself? Made a concession instead of honestly expressing your opinion? Are you ignoring your negative experiences? Once you understand the cause of your anger, it will be easier for you to let it go.

5. Identify the physical signals of your anger

Most people don't realize their anger until they do what it makes them do. Most likely, you also lashed out at someone, and then were amazed at your behavior. To prevent this from happening again, watch how your body physically expresses the emotion. For example, you tense your shoulders or jaw, bite your lip, or clench your hands into fists. Or maybe you lose the ability to think clearly and see only the object of your anger.

Write down these signals - this will help you quickly recognize them in the future. And to cope with such physical manifestations right now, breathe deeply and try to relieve tension from the muscles.

6. Relax the body

Tense the muscles of different parts of the body for five seconds, and then relax. Move in order: shoulders, forearms, hands, hips, shins, feet. This will help relieve physical tension and calm down.

Find out more 🧘‍♀️

  • How to relax in 5 minutes: a simple relaxation technique

7. Watch something funny

Surely you have been in a situation where, in the midst of a quarrel, a loved one suddenly joked and the atmosphere instantly discharged. Of course, if you're fighting over something serious, it's likely to only complicate things. But if you're angry over something as simple as unwashed dishes, it might work. Try watching an episode of your favorite comedy series or a funny YouTube video. It is possible that the anger will disappear.

8. Listen to yourself

Did you not get enough sleep, did you have a hard day, or are you just hungry? In this state, it is easy to get angry because of some little thing, misunderstand the words of others and react irritably. Therefore, it is worth taking a nap or eating before you start a difficult conversation or go to a meeting with someone who can make you angry.

9. Consider whether the object of anger is really trying to hurt you

We have all taken a remark from a friend or partner too harshly at least once, especially if we felt bad or worried about work. Before reacting, stop and evaluate whether this person really wanted to hurt you. Most likely, you will notice that your stressed brain simply took this as a threat and tried to protect you. This will cool the anger.

Learn 😑

  • How to quarrel properly so as not to destroy relationships

10. Write a letter to the person you are angry with

And do not send it. This will allow you to express emotions, but do it constructively. Just do not write a message in a messenger or email: you can accidentally send them and then regret it for a long time (for example, if you are angry with your manager).


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