Friendship and benefits
6 Benefits of Friendship and How to Get Them
Most people count good friends among the most important people in their lives. Not all friends are good, though.
Good friends communicate openly. They usually don’t shy away from telling the truth, even when they think you may not like it. Still, they accept you for you — just as you accept them. You can trust them to respect your boundaries, even when you disagree with one another.
Healthy friendships also involve mutual support, so a good friend won’t just expect you to help them out. They also support you when they can — even if all they can offer is a listening ear.
The cherry on top? Solid friendship is also good for your health. Here’s how.
Loneliness and social isolation can affect mental and physical well-being, and more and more people are feeling lonely these days.
To understand the difference between these concerns, think of it this way: Friends help you avoid isolation, but good friends help prevent loneliness.
Ever heard the phrase “lonely in a crowd”? You can have plenty of friends and still feel lonely, even though you aren’t isolated.
It’s the relationship quality that really counts. Casual or superficial friendships often don’t provide much in the way of emotional support. You might have gaming buddies, coffee friends, or exercise partners, but if you don’t have anyone to confide in, you’ll likely experience some loneliness.
On the other hand, even a few close friends can help you avoid loneliness. And when you do feel lonely, you know you can address it by reaching out to talk, joke, or spend time with a friend.
Distance and other factors might prevent you from physically hanging out, but simply knowing you share a strong connection can help you feel less alone.
Everyone faces some stress. It can come in large or small doses, but no matter how minor it seems at first, it can quickly pile up and overwhelm you.
You might notice mood symptoms, such as anxiety, depression, or irritability, but stress can affect you in other ways, too.
Prolonged stress can contribute to:
- poor immune health
- insomnia
- digestive problems
- heart problems
- diabetes
- high blood pressure
There’s some good news, though. Research suggests maintaining strong friendships can help you cope with stress more effectively and help lower your chances of facing some types of stress in the first place.
Think back to the last time you felt upset or worried about something. Maybe you mentioned your concerns to a friend who listened to you vent and helped you brainstorm solutions.
If you know you have friends who care and want to help, potential stressors often don’t have the chance to build up and cause significant distress.
Emotional support is an important benefit of relationships.
Your friends might support you by:
- listening — really listening — to your problems
- validating your feelings
- doing nice things for you just because
- helping distract you when you feel sad or upset
If you have a romantic relationship, you might go to your partner first.
This is perfectly normal, and romantic partners can absolutely offer comfort and reassurance. However, they shouldn’t be your only source of emotional support.
Relationship experts generally recommend maintaining friendships with people besides your partner, as this can benefit emotional health alongside relationship health.
When you and your partner disagree or want to spend time on different hobbies, friends who share your interests can help you maintain your sense of self.
If you want to create positive change in your life or have a habit you want to break, friends can help you maintain your resolve to practice healthier habits. This may be one reason why strong friendships can lengthen your life.
One way friends can help you change for the better is by providing good examples. Maybe your best friend’s recent decision to give up smoking inspires you to quit, too.
Your friends might also support your choices by making changes with you. If you want to join a gym or start running, for example, having an exercise buddy can encourage you to stick with it until it becomes part of your routine.
No matter what else they do, they’ll probably cheer you on. This encouragement can boost your self-confidence, increasing your chances of success with your goals.
We all want to know we matter to others — that our life has purpose. In fact, belonging needs come in third on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, just after basic needs (think food and shelter) and safety needs.
Developing and maintaining close friendships helps foster feelings of belonging.
Caring about others makes life more meaningful. When you care for others, you take on the responsibility of offering compassion and emotional support. This can make you a stronger, better person.
At the same time, knowing you have a support network can help you feel more secure in your own life.
Even when your friends are scattered over several cities, states, or even countries, you still have those connections to trusted friends who have your back.
Life isn’t always easy. Sometimes, it can get downright awful.
At any given time, without warning, you might face traumatic or difficult events that affect emotional well-being, such as:
- breakup or divorce
- death of a pet or loved one
- pandemics
- unemployment
- family problems
Any of these challenges can have a significant impact on long-term mental health outcomes. However, 2017 research suggests that if you have strong friendships, you’ll probably find it easier to handle whatever life throws at you.
This study, which looked at resilience in more than 2,000 adolescents between the ages of 14 and 24, found evidence to suggest friendship strongly predicted resilience, or the ability to recover after distressing experiences.
Study authors noted that while family support also helped boost immediate resilience, friendship predicted greater resilience later in life, while family support did not.
It’s possible that friendship could prove particularly beneficial for managing distress associated with family problems, including neglect and abuse.
Now that you know more about the benefits of strong friendships, you might wonder how to go about finding (and keeping) good friends.
Developing and maintaining friendships is often easier said than done, especially in adulthood when the demands of daily life keep you busy. These tips can help.
Pursue your interests
While it’s not necessary for friends to like all the same things, some common ground can help provide a foundation for friendship.
Finding new friends can often be as simple as spending time doing things you enjoy, whether that’s by joining a hiking club, taking an art class, or attending programs at your local library.
If your current hobbies don’t involve much socialization, consider a new hobby that provides the opportunity to meet new people.
Make the first move
Consider your recent interactions with others. Maybe there’s a co-worker you always chat with at lunch, or another parent you keep running into at the playground.
They might make a great friend, but you won’t know for sure until you spend more time together.
Extending an invitation can feel a little scary, especially if you fear rejection. But if they feel nervous, too, your friendship may never get off the ground.
Keep your invitation simple and casual. You can always ask if they’d like to grab coffee or mention something you’ve both expressed interest in:
- “You know that book signing we were talking about the other day? Why don’t we go together?”
- “I heard there’s a new Vietnamese restaurant opening up downtown. Want to get lunch there next week?”
Find more tips on getting to know people here.
Stay in touch
Once you build a friendship, you’ll need to make an effort to keep it alive:
- Reach out to make plans instead of letting them do all the work.
- Call or text from time to time, even if it’s just to share a joke or ask how they’re doing.
- When you ask questions, listen to their answers.
- Check in if you know they’re struggling.
- Share your own struggles when they ask — this helps deepen the bond on both sides.
Find tips on improving communication in friendships and other relationships here.
If you find it difficult to keep up multiple friendships, consider focusing on the ones that really matter to you. Many people lack the time and emotional energy to nurture numerous close friendships.
At the end of the day, the number of friends you have matters far less than the quality of those relationships. You don’t need to have a specific number of friends to see benefits. Even a few close friendships can make plenty of difference in your well-being.
Know when to let go
Unhealthy or toxic friendships can cause stress and bring you down just as easily as healthy friendships lift you up.
You may want to consider moving on if your friend:
- gossips
- treats you unkindly
- manipulates you
- takes without giving
- doesn’t seem to care much about your feelings
Find more signs of toxic friendships and tips on how to cope here.
Good friends are important at every stage in life.
Some things about your friendship may change over time as you grow and change as individuals.
But strong friendships will continue to strengthen you, year in and year out, because the important things — trust, respect, forgiveness, and support — will always stay the same.
Crystal Raypole has previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health. In particular, she’s committed to helping decrease stigma around mental health issues.
6 Benefits of Friendship and How to Get Them
Most people count good friends among the most important people in their lives. Not all friends are good, though.
Good friends communicate openly. They usually don’t shy away from telling the truth, even when they think you may not like it. Still, they accept you for you — just as you accept them.
You can trust them to respect your boundaries, even when you disagree with one another.
Healthy friendships also involve mutual support, so a good friend won’t just expect you to help them out. They also support you when they can — even if all they can offer is a listening ear.
The cherry on top? Solid friendship is also good for your health. Here’s how.
Loneliness and social isolation can affect mental and physical well-being, and more and more people are feeling lonely these days.
To understand the difference between these concerns, think of it this way: Friends help you avoid isolation, but good friends help prevent loneliness.
Ever heard the phrase “lonely in a crowd”? You can have plenty of friends and still feel lonely, even though you aren’t isolated.
It’s the relationship quality that really counts. Casual or superficial friendships often don’t provide much in the way of emotional support. You might have gaming buddies, coffee friends, or exercise partners, but if you don’t have anyone to confide in, you’ll likely experience some loneliness.
On the other hand, even a few close friends can help you avoid loneliness. And when you do feel lonely, you know you can address it by reaching out to talk, joke, or spend time with a friend.
Distance and other factors might prevent you from physically hanging out, but simply knowing you share a strong connection can help you feel less alone.
Everyone faces some stress. It can come in large or small doses, but no matter how minor it seems at first, it can quickly pile up and overwhelm you.
You might notice mood symptoms, such as anxiety, depression, or irritability, but stress can affect you in other ways, too.
Prolonged stress can contribute to:
- poor immune health
- insomnia
- digestive problems
- heart problems
- diabetes
- high blood pressure
There’s some good news, though. Research suggests maintaining strong friendships can help you cope with stress more effectively and help lower your chances of facing some types of stress in the first place.
Think back to the last time you felt upset or worried about something. Maybe you mentioned your concerns to a friend who listened to you vent and helped you brainstorm solutions.
If you know you have friends who care and want to help, potential stressors often don’t have the chance to build up and cause significant distress.
Emotional support is an important benefit of relationships.
Your friends might support you by:
- listening — really listening — to your problems
- validating your feelings
- doing nice things for you just because
- helping distract you when you feel sad or upset
If you have a romantic relationship, you might go to your partner first. This is perfectly normal, and romantic partners can absolutely offer comfort and reassurance. However, they shouldn’t be your only source of emotional support.
Relationship experts generally recommend maintaining friendships with people besides your partner, as this can benefit emotional health alongside relationship health.
When you and your partner disagree or want to spend time on different hobbies, friends who share your interests can help you maintain your sense of self.
If you want to create positive change in your life or have a habit you want to break, friends can help you maintain your resolve to practice healthier habits. This may be one reason why strong friendships can lengthen your life.
One way friends can help you change for the better is by providing good examples. Maybe your best friend’s recent decision to give up smoking inspires you to quit, too.
Your friends might also support your choices by making changes with you. If you want to join a gym or start running, for example, having an exercise buddy can encourage you to stick with it until it becomes part of your routine.
No matter what else they do, they’ll probably cheer you on. This encouragement can boost your self-confidence, increasing your chances of success with your goals.
We all want to know we matter to others — that our life has purpose.
In fact, belonging needs come in third on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, just after basic needs (think food and shelter) and safety needs.
Developing and maintaining close friendships helps foster feelings of belonging.
Caring about others makes life more meaningful. When you care for others, you take on the responsibility of offering compassion and emotional support. This can make you a stronger, better person.
At the same time, knowing you have a support network can help you feel more secure in your own life.
Even when your friends are scattered over several cities, states, or even countries, you still have those connections to trusted friends who have your back.
Life isn’t always easy. Sometimes, it can get downright awful.
At any given time, without warning, you might face traumatic or difficult events that affect emotional well-being, such as:
- breakup or divorce
- death of a pet or loved one
- pandemics
- unemployment
- family problems
Any of these challenges can have a significant impact on long-term mental health outcomes.
However, 2017 research suggests that if you have strong friendships, you’ll probably find it easier to handle whatever life throws at you.
This study, which looked at resilience in more than 2,000 adolescents between the ages of 14 and 24, found evidence to suggest friendship strongly predicted resilience, or the ability to recover after distressing experiences.
Study authors noted that while family support also helped boost immediate resilience, friendship predicted greater resilience later in life, while family support did not.
It’s possible that friendship could prove particularly beneficial for managing distress associated with family problems, including neglect and abuse.
Now that you know more about the benefits of strong friendships, you might wonder how to go about finding (and keeping) good friends.
Developing and maintaining friendships is often easier said than done, especially in adulthood when the demands of daily life keep you busy. These tips can help.
Pursue your interests
While it’s not necessary for friends to like all the same things, some common ground can help provide a foundation for friendship.
Finding new friends can often be as simple as spending time doing things you enjoy, whether that’s by joining a hiking club, taking an art class, or attending programs at your local library.
If your current hobbies don’t involve much socialization, consider a new hobby that provides the opportunity to meet new people.
Make the first move
Consider your recent interactions with others. Maybe there’s a co-worker you always chat with at lunch, or another parent you keep running into at the playground. They might make a great friend, but you won’t know for sure until you spend more time together.
Extending an invitation can feel a little scary, especially if you fear rejection. But if they feel nervous, too, your friendship may never get off the ground.
Keep your invitation simple and casual.
You can always ask if they’d like to grab coffee or mention something you’ve both expressed interest in:
- “You know that book signing we were talking about the other day? Why don’t we go together?”
- “I heard there’s a new Vietnamese restaurant opening up downtown. Want to get lunch there next week?”
Find more tips on getting to know people here.
Stay in touch
Once you build a friendship, you’ll need to make an effort to keep it alive:
- Reach out to make plans instead of letting them do all the work.
- Call or text from time to time, even if it’s just to share a joke or ask how they’re doing.
- When you ask questions, listen to their answers.
- Check in if you know they’re struggling.
- Share your own struggles when they ask — this helps deepen the bond on both sides.
Find tips on improving communication in friendships and other relationships here.
If you find it difficult to keep up multiple friendships, consider focusing on the ones that really matter to you.
Many people lack the time and emotional energy to nurture numerous close friendships.
At the end of the day, the number of friends you have matters far less than the quality of those relationships. You don’t need to have a specific number of friends to see benefits. Even a few close friendships can make plenty of difference in your well-being.
Know when to let go
Unhealthy or toxic friendships can cause stress and bring you down just as easily as healthy friendships lift you up.
You may want to consider moving on if your friend:
- gossips
- treats you unkindly
- manipulates you
- takes without giving
- doesn’t seem to care much about your feelings
Find more signs of toxic friendships and tips on how to cope here.
Good friends are important at every stage in life.
Some things about your friendship may change over time as you grow and change as individuals.
But strong friendships will continue to strengthen you, year in and year out, because the important things — trust, respect, forgiveness, and support — will always stay the same.
Crystal Raypole has previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health. In particular, she’s committed to helping decrease stigma around mental health issues.
9 types of friends to avoid
If you don't choose your family, you can choose your friends, and this is their main advantage. True, not everyone takes advantage of this opportunity, thinking that friends cannot just be thrown away and found just like that. The main problem is that most people make friends out of habit, and not for reasons of benefit, pleasure and a real friendly atmosphere. So you got a friend from kindergarten, and you are friends with him, despite disagreements, constant betrayals and misunderstandings. But we hope that after reading this text you will understand that it is better not to make some friends at all, and to get rid of some old ones as soon as the opportunity arises.
There are many bad people in the world, and among your friends there should not be such people.
If there is a person among your friends who constantly flatters you, then think about the motivation for his flattery. Why is he doing this? What is he striving for? Does he really appreciate your achievements and lifestyle, or does he want to benefit from your position? Most of the time it's about personal gain. Such people will easily stick a knife in your back when there is an opportunity to increase their social status or financial savings.
Better avoid those who circle around you for profit. Yes, their flattery is sweet, but absolutely useless. A good friend is someone who speaks honestly with you and can easily express complaints to you, if any.
Competitor
Competition is the engine of progress. But when competition enters the area of "friendly law", then friendship fades into the background, and even into the background. It is better not to be friends with competitors, because from such friendship the most notorious enemies are born.
Leech
Looks like a cheater, but explains his rotten behavior by the difficulties of life. Leeches always need a donor who will help them with their blood, and in your case - with money, attention, help. Such people constantly borrow, but rarely return the money. These "friends" do nothing but take advantage of your kindness. But when you yourself find yourself in need, they will not provide you with any help - this is a fact.
Imitator
Imitation is the most sophisticated form of flattery, but such flattery will not bring you pleasure. On the contrary, it will seem to you that pieces of skin are being torn off from you, your own “I” is being torn off. In a copycat friend, you will see a distorted reflection of yourself, which will cause disgusting feelings.
Selfish friend
Selfishness within reasonable limits has never been bad, but if selfishness extends to friendship, then nothing good will come of it. The selfishness of such friends will be visible to the naked eye.
For example, they will insist on only going to places they like. They will rarely compromise, and if you deal with such friends, then it is better not to count on their loyalty: when they see the benefit, they will leave you without even thinking about some kind of friendship there.
Wild child
A dangerous and unstable type of friend who needs not a friend, but a nanny, an older brother or a father. Such people constantly find trouble on their ass, and they always have to be rescued. Afterwards, they can thank you, promise that they will not get into this shit again, but do not hesitate: they will need your help very soon.
Whineers are never satisfied with what they have. This makes them related to ordinary pessimists, but, unlike them, whiners regularly complain about their life, work, relationship with their wife, the whole world, and this is very annoying. Not only is it annoying, it's also frustrating. Stay away from such people, because even after a half-hour conversation with them you will lose the whole day: you won’t want to do anything, even sleep.
Mood Killer
This comrade intentionally or unintentionally kills the mood as soon as he enters into a conversation with you - this is his superpower. As a rule, such people experience bouts of happiness when they find flaws in your personality, work, appearance, attitude to life. You will not hear anything positive from their lips - only caustic comments that will be deposited in your head in the form of depressing thoughts.
Psychopath
There are people whose mood can change at any second, and for unclear reasons. With such friends, you never know what to expect: they can be good at communicating, and the next moment they commit an offensive provocation. They use you like a punching bag to vent sudden anger, frustration, and sometimes joy. We think that you yourself understand that a person whose mood is constantly swinging is an unreliable friend.
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how to understand that a person communicates only for profit?
Psychologist Lazarev » Journal of a psychologist » Mercantile friendship: how to understand that a person communicates only for profit?
Journal of Psychology
Author Lazarev Ye.
N. Reading 3 min Views 2.9k. Posted Updated
Unfortunately, friendship is not always a bright and pure feeling. Often people only call themselves friends and acquaintances, but in reality they dream of getting some benefit from communicating with a specific person. Therefore, the rich and simply wealthy are not very eager to get close to someone. They understood from the cradle: there are a lot of vile and mercantile types around. They can act out love, friendship, kindred feelings, and understanding. But in fact, they have one goal: to break through with the help of an influential acquaintance.
Contents
1. He is literally obsessed with money.
There are subjects who do not even know how to properly build relationships. They are alien to ordinary human conversations about life, hobbies and work.
Any opening of the mouth is necessarily accompanied by rantings on the topic “there is no money, they don’t take it anywhere, blat is needed everywhere.” Some pretend to be frankly poor and unhappy, openly alluding to financial assistance. Without a twinge of conscience, they actually sit on the neck of wealthy comrades, allow them to pay for themselves in cafes, restaurants, and never invest anywhere, motivating by the absence of banknotes. Just walking in the park and talking about everyday topics is not about them. Why mess with someone at all if it’s impossible to get something from him - that’s the motto of personalities of such a warehouse.
2. He always has some kind of difficulty.
If you get to know such a person better, you can easily call him “33 misfortunes”. And at work, troubles, and spread rot in the family, and others are rude. Of course, sometimes just toxic people behave this way, indifferent to other people's wealth, but these statements actually contain subtext.
It consists in obligatory help and support on all fronts. If a bad position, then a decent comrade is obliged to attach to a good one. If relatives scoff and reproach, then a wealthy friend should take care of herself, but at the same time not dare to count the money of an “unfortunate” friend who finds herself in a difficult life situation. In a word, here you need to be careful and not fall for frank provocations from the side of an eternally poor friend who cannot cope with difficulties on his own.
3. He has no more friends.
An ordinary average person necessarily communicates with someone, for example, with colleagues or with cousins, sisters, aunts. Of course, there are also one hundred percent loners-introverts who feel most comfortable in their own room, but there are only a few of them. And if only “higher ranks” are present in the environment, this says a lot. This type deliberately surrounds himself with those to whom he can turn for help. If he has a simple family, then, as a rule, there are complicated and tense relationships.
