Flirting in 2020

How To Flirt In 2022: A Modern Manual

Flirting should be as intuitive as a call of nature. Both are driven by basic urges, and both can bring some of the greatest satisfaction known to man. But while our bathroom technique grows ever more comfortable (aloe vera paper, come to papa), flirting can feel like that moment you discover the roll is bare and not even Alexa can help you.

So, what’s changed? For starters, our wingman. Back in ancient times – so, around 15 years ago – your wingman was an actual man, whose bar chat set a benchmark to beat. Today, the third party connecting you to potential dates is a software company, which increases findability and speed but decreases the social cues, like facial expressions and body language, that let you know if someone is really into you.

“When messages and apps reduce this feedback, our brain fills in the gaps. If our brain is horny, this can create confusing and inappropriate situations,” explains Dr Bernie Hogan, who researches personal social networks at the Oxford Internet Institute. “We’ve gone from the romantic subtleties of touching someone’s leg during a movie on a third date to thinking, ‘Do they want sex or not? I’ll send them a dick pic to find out’.”

Making your intentions clear, without overdoing it, is now more complex than how much Dior Sauvage to apply with your date night outfit. “Post-#MeToo, some men feel reticent to make a move at all,” comments dating coach, Hayley Quinn. While an instantly-at-your-palm porn culture breeds frustration when real-life encounters fail to match the zero-to-bedroom-hero theatrics of the laptop screen.

“We now have more single people who’ve never had sex than in the history of sex studies,” confirms Dr Hogan. “People oscillate between dating’s fear of rejection and the easy self-gratification of porn. But there is a middle ground, where a little seduction will go a long way.”

Smart flirting is your GPS there. The good news is that you already have all the tools you need, and none of them come from your crotch. There’s a reason why that area is nicknamed your junk.

Do Take Flirtation Offline

In-person flirting might feel like the landline of the dating world, but it’s the only effective signal-reading test. Dr Hogan encourages people to go IRL with date ideas, ASAP.

“Whether it’s a coffee, a walk in a park or dinner, you get a shared context to talk about as opposed to ‘we’re on a dating app, we share images of each other’.” Stay digital and your inner sleuth (AKA your inner crazy) will search the internet to fill in what you don’t know about the other person.

“You think it’s harmless, but you’re building up a picture which may not be what they want to share with you. This creates distance, not closeness.”

Don’t Bombard Their Social Channels

Proof that we’re the luckiest and laziest generation in history: you don’t even need to join a dating site to find millions of images of potential singles. But are social platforms like Instagram, or even LinkedIn, fair game?

Dr Hogan’s research found that acceptability varies by culture. More gregarious countries – Brazil, Spain, Italy – were much more likely to use social networks than ‘quieter’ cultures, such as Nordic countries, which preferred very structured dating apps. “The problem is when you cross a context that someone doesn’t expect,” he heeds. Take LinkedIn.

“Contact someone solely because you find them attractive and it’s very easy to push too hard, making them feel disempowered instead of respected and autonomous.” On image-heavy platforms like Instagram, it’s even easier to decontextualize someone to the point where you’ve liked 170 pictures, doused them comments like you were throwing salt on your chips, and you haven’t just slid into their DMs, you’ve vomited all over their inbox.

“This intensity can come across as obsessive. It’s not just unsuccessful, it can be threatening.”

Do Pay Attention To Feedback

It’s the most important F-word at work (even if a shorter, ruder one sometimes springs to mind), and feedback is equally pivotal in dating. Why? “Because there is no chat-up line in the world that is so wonderful that it can persuade someone of something they don’t feel, or aren’t open to,” says Quinn.

“Interactions are co-created, and if the other person seems disinterested or uncomfortable, take the feedback and leave it. If you send a DM and don’t get a response, move on.” It’s not a case of rejection, it’s about prioritizing and investing your time in people who want to reciprocate.

Don’t Get Graphic With Compliments

Used subtly, compliments are natural in. Speak from the pants, not the heart, however, and you’ve fast-tracked yourself to sleaze. Firstly, implied beats explicit, urges Quinn. ‘I just had to come and talk to you…’, which implies attraction, is less invasive than a comment about their legs.

Next, keep it simple. ‘You have a great smile/accent’ is less creepy than gushing, ‘I really like how you’re so XXX, that’s just so amazing,’ which feels too intense. Thirdly, focus on personality. “It’s a lot more meaningful when someone validates who you are versus what you look like,” she adds.

Do Use Touch…

…but look for reciprocation. Quinn has a great way of viewing physical contact: “Touch is a conversation between two people,” she explains. “It should never be a man repeatedly touching a woman to try to turn her on.” Start with a light, brief touch to someone’s arm.

If reciprocated, move a little closer or hold the touch longer. It’s also fine to ask, ‘Can I give you a hug? I didn’t want to overstep the mark’, which is far better than assuming and lunging. Done right – and reciprocally – touch aces connection and trust.

Don’t Say ‘Hey’

According to Alex Durrant, CEO of dating app, Jigtalk, ‘hey’ is the most common opening line on apps – but also gets the least responses. You get out what you put in, and a one-worder – or, worse, one waving emoji – will not cut it.

For the first contact, personalize your message towards something on the person’s bio – say, ‘I bet you’re into cooler music/films/sports than me’, which invites a response. Once the ice is broken, have some get-to-know-you questions on hand to kindle the chemistry.

Madeleine Mason Roantree, a dating psychologist at London matchmaking agency The Vida Consultancy, directs clients to 36 Questions In Love – a ready-made list of conversation prompts, such as: Would you like to be famous? What is your most treasured memory? What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

Do React To Social Media Stories

“People use Instagram Stories and Snapchat to pour out their emotions. React or reply to these – which tend to be more personal than curated Posts – and you have a higher chance of building up a meaningful connection on these channels,” suggests Celia Schweyer, a dating expert at DatingScout.co.uk.

Keep contact casual and focused on things you have in common – ‘I really like this too’ (about a favorite food, say) or ‘I didn’t know you were into this! Same!’

Don’t Get Naked

Not, like, ever. But all of our experts agree that a nude photo shoot is best confined to a relationship, “where both parties are mutually interested and comfortable receiving images,” says Mason Roantree. Memes (clothed ones) and emojis express interest without offending the other person or being too explicit. In short: don’t be a dick, or send one.

8 Tips To Make You The Master at Flirting

This article is part of our body language guide. Click here for more.

Reading Body Language 101
- Why Body Language is Important
- Examples and Meanings
- How to Read People
Body Language at Work
- Presentation Cues
- Interview Cues
- Workplace Cues
- Business Cues
Body Language of Emotions
- Aggressive Cues
- Confident Cues
- Condescending Cues
Hidden Opportunities
- Vocal Cues
- Presidential Cues
- Dog Cues
- Resting Bitch Face
- Advertising Cues
- AI and Body Language
Body Language for Rapport
- Mirroring
- Proxemics
Head Behavior
- Head Cues
- Facial Microexpressions
- Eye Cues
- Nose Cues
- Mouth Cues
- Ear Cues
Read The Torso
- Arms Cues
- Torso Cues
- Shoulder Cues
- Neck Cues
- Hand Gestures
Lower Body Language
- Hip Cues
- Leg Cues
- Feet Cues
Flirting Body Language
- Male Cues
- Female Cues
- Rules of Attraction
- How to Flirt

To understand modern-day nonverbal signals of attraction and the science of flirting, it is helpful to look at the history of where our body language comes from. Our caveman ancestors used the same body language we use today.

Here are the messages we are trying to send with our body language to potential mates and what is seen as attractive:

I’m open
I’m harmless
I’m interested
I’m approachable
I’m fertile

The question is, how does attraction happen? In this guide, we’re going to dive deep. We’ll go over:

the 2 first impression cues that make a great impression
8 cues you can use today to master the art of flirting
the difference between how men and women flirt
the #1 cue of attraction (hint: it’s different for men and women)

But first…

Can You Read Body Language? (Quiz)

How good are your body language skills? Take our free body language quiz to find out!

TAKE THE BODY LANGUAGE QUIZ

↑ Table of Contents ↑

First Impressions

Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher says that the human body knows within one second whether someone is physically attractive or not. Here are the body language cues that humans find most attractive:

Availability: Both males and females find people with available body language the most attractive. Available body language is smiling, uncrossed arms, uncrossed legs, and upward gazing (not looking down at shoes or phones).
Fertility: From an evolutionary perspective, humans are tuned into cues that signal fertility and youth. Luckily, these can be emphasized with body language. For men, standing up straight, squaring the shoulders, planting feet slightly more than shoulder width apart, and displaying hands are all signs of fertility. For a woman, keeping your hair down, tilting your head to expose pheromones, and keeping hands and wrists visible to display the soft skin of the wrists are highly attractive cues.

Want to make someone think about you long after the conversation? Learn to master the art of making a good first impression.

↑ Table of Contents ↑

How Do You Flirt With Someone?

Once our mind decides we like someone as a potential mate, our body automatically begins to change physically to attract the person. Our cheeks flush to make us look like we are aroused, our lips swell to look more fertile, and even our pheromones pump to attract the other person. Here are some tips to maximize your flirt game:

Flirting Tip #1: Lean In

Leaning toward someone is a nonverbal way of telling them you are engaged. This works especially well if you are in a group of people and you are interested in one person in the group. A way to show them you are interested is by leaning toward them. This will subconsciously pull them in your direction and tell them you want them more.

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Flirting Tip #2: Head Tilting

Head tilting shows interest and engagement. If you are speaking with someone, let them know you are present and interested by tilting your head and gazing at them. Be sure to not look over their head or around the room; this shows lack of interest and sensitivity.

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Flirting Tip #3: The Pygmalion Effect

If you want to attract people, don’t hold out on compliments. One study by Professor Norihiro Sadato and his associates, and focused on social rewards, found that receiving praise was the best way to motivate participants… and it was even better than receiving cash!

This sounds counterintuitive, right? You might talk about getting a raise or finding the next big thing on a date, but perhaps all we want is a compliment.

When researchers asked forty-eight participants to complete a finger-tapping activity, the groups that received praise for their performance showed a significantly higher rate of improvement relative to other participants.

Why?

Social rewards such as praise registered in the same part of the brain that lights up when the subject is rewarded with money.

Second, when you assign someone a positive label, such as being highly intelligent or being a good person, that actually cues them to live up to that label. In a nutshell, this is called the Pygmalion Effect.

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Flirting Tip #4: Mirroring

The definition of mirroring is when we nonverbally “copy” someone’s body language. We can mirror someone’s posture, hand gestures, leg position, and voice.

And it’s not just about copying someone’s body language outright. Mirroring can, and SHOULD, be subtle!

Researchers studied participants and used slo-mo film¹. What they found is that we show a “microsynchrony” of small movements, movements so sensitive that they are hard to see with the naked eye. These movements include tiny momentary dips and nods of the head, tense fingers, stretched lips, and jerks of the body—all beautifully matched when a pair of friends are in strong rapport.

We can’t clearly see mirroring, yet the brain registers it.

If you want to mirror with attraction, try to mirror subtly. To find out more about mirroring, head on over to our mirroring article.

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Flirting Tip #5: The Art of Subtle Touch

Did you know that humans can decode touch? We instinctively know what types of touch mean anger, fear, disgust, love, gratitude, and sympathy. According to one study, we are 48–83% accurate at decoding touch:

sympathy was associated with stroking and patting
anger was associated with hitting and squeezing
disgust was associated with a pushing motion
fear was associated with trembling

When it comes to a flirty touch, use the 5-in-15 rule of flirting². In a nutshell, you want to try to touch the other person 5 times within 15 minutes. You can naturally touch someone while joking around (coming next!), when you meet someone, and even when making eye contact for even more flirting power.

For intimate touches, try touching closer to the 3 Hs:

Hands
Hips
Head

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Flirting Tip #6: The Rule of 3

Listen, last night I was on Google. I was searching for a list of ten puns to find one that made me laugh…

No pun in ten did.

Get it? Not funny? OK, I’ll let myself out…

In all seriousness, to flirt means to raise conversational energy, and there’s no better way to flirt than using good ol’ humor. And if you’re not funny, don’t worry—humor is easy to learn. Try using the Rule of 3. At its most basic level, the Rule of 3 establishes a pattern, then ends with something unexpected. You can even use a rule of 4. For example, let’s say you’re reading a list of the 4 Fs that humans have a natural drive for. That list is:

fighting
fleeing
feeding
mating

Now this is funny because we all know what the last F actually is. The Rule of 3 creates expectancy and breaks down that expectancy by offering something completely abnormal, usually resulting in laughter. Think of it as 1 normal, 2 normal, 3 funny/odd/different.

When you are flirting, try to come up with the Rule of 3 throughout your conversation:

If I get a dog, I want to name him either Lucky, Spot, or Dumbledore.
I love hot dogs, hamburgers, and handsome men.
My favorite colors are red, white, and the color of your eyes.

You can see some examples from the world of TED here:

https://www. youtube.com/watch?v=0HB0-s3uK_Y

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Flirting Tip #7: Strong Eye Contact

You’ve probably heard the old phrase “The windows are the eyes to the soul.” And you’d be right! In one study of 48 singles, pairs who gazed into each other’s eyes reported significantly higher feelings of affection.

So what exactly causes this eyeballing spark of attraction? When we gaze into another person’s eyes, we nonverbally say, “I am being attentive to you.” It fills our need for attention. When we gaze, it comforts us by reminding us of when we were gazing at our mothers at birth.

Plus, it releases an insta-hit of dopamine! Boo-yah!

Mutual eye gaze should be about 60–80% of the time to build good attraction.

If you’re trying to eyeball a stranger from across the room, check to see if he/she looks back at you. Not just one glance, but two, three, or even four times. Play back by exchanging eye contact and a warm smile. A long gaze is the best way to introduce yourself without having to say hello.

Pro Tip: If your eye contact seems too harsh, try breaking it up with a wink. A wink is an affectionate split-second break that stops continuous eye contact from turning creepy.

Tip for Women: If you’re making flirty eye contact with someone, keep persisting. Researcher Monika Moore studied eye gaze and found that most men require usually 3 separate gaze signals in order to “get” that they are being flirted with. Sometimes even up to 5 for really slow men. And if you’re hitting on a woman, she might not notice either. So keep eyeballing!

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Flirting Tip #8: The Eyebrow Flash

Have you ever glanced at someone and immediately see they’ve given you the flash?

Coupled with a smile and a quick up-and-down of the eyebrows, the eyebrow flash can be an attraction cue we use when we’re attracted to someone. A great way to flirt is to flash when you first see someone you’re interested in. We eyebrow-flash when:

we meet a friend we like
we are surprised or taken aback by someone
as a way to signal “Friend!”

The eyebrow flash is even a worldwide-recognized gesture of greeting. Use it to greet someone or spice up a conversation by making strong eye contact and flashing your brows.

↑ Table of Contents ↑

So what are the actual signs of attraction? How do they come out in the body? Here are some body language cues for attraction:

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Flushed and Blushed

When we are attracted to someone, blood will flow to our face, causing our cheeks to get red. This happens to mimic the orgasm effect where we get flushed. It is an evolutionary way the body tries to attract the opposite sex. This is why women wear blush. This also happens with lips and eyes. The redder the lips and the whiter the eyes, the more fertile and attractive someone is.

↑ Table of Contents ↑

The Power of the Purse

Purse behavior is a form of nonverbal communication. It is how someone interacts with their environment based on their emotions. The purse is an interesting indicator of nonverbal behavior. For example, if a woman is feeling uncomfortable or not attracted to someone, she will either clutch her bag tightly or place it in front of or covering her body. When a woman is attracted, she literally and figuratively wants nothing to stand in the way between her and her target.

If she is loosely holding her purse and it is not blocking her front, this shows she is at ease and feels more attraction. Better yet, if she puts it on the floor, a nearby table, or the back of the chair, she wants it out of the way for her interactions with you. [Please note context here: if you are in a very public or potentially dangerous location, she could be gripping her purse for safety concerns, but in a casual place or on a date, this can be a good indicator.]

I was actually at a singles event the other night and watched a man and woman talking. The woman had her purse partially blocking her body and was tightly gripping the handle under her arm. Then the man told her he was a doctor and the woman literally swung her purse up and over her shoulder out of the way. It was amazing.

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Their Heart Races

“He makes my heart race” is no cliché. Studies have found that when someone is near an attractive person, their heart rate increases. AND this works both ways. Researchers tried increasing someone’s heart rate and then putting him or her near a stranger. This then artificially made the person seem even more attractive. People seem more attractive when our heart is racing. I wouldn’t recommend taking someone’s pulse on a date or in a bar, but you can see someone’s breathing rate increase and you can feel the heat of their palm if you are holding their hand and want to go in for a kiss.

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Their Feet Like You

The feet serve as a direct reflection of a person’s attitude. The key is to recognize where a person’s feet are pointed. When the feet are pointed directly toward another person, this is a sign of attraction, or at the very least, genuine interest. If, on the other hand, the feet are pointed away or toward the exit, this means that signs of attraction are probably not present.

↑ Table of Contents ↑

How Do Women Flirt?

Men and women flirt slightly differently. After all, it might be pretty awkward to see a man try to flirt like Marilyn Monroe…

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Female Flirting Cue #1: Exposing The Vulnerable Bits

What parts of the body do we tend to expose the most? Some people may think the “naughty parts,” but the most obvious and PG-rated answer is our wrists, pits, and neck.

The wrist, underarm, and neck areas are all highly sensitive areas of our body that usually only lovers or close ones have access to. These 3 areas of our body each play a different role:

Exposing the wrist (or having a limp wrist) is done when women want to let someone else feel dominant. Dominants love seeing a limp wrist because it’s like a tiger seeing a limp deer on the prairie—it’s green lights to overtake and control.
Underarm exposure can be done when we flip our hair back. Our underarms release subtle pheromones—hopefully not the nasty kind—that attract a potential mate. Studies show that men love the smell of lavender, pumpkin pie, and cinnamon, while women love cucumber, chocolate, and baby powder.
Exposing the neck can be done when we tilt our head to the side. A slight tilt left or right makes us look more interested and also makes us more vulnerable. Neck exposure is also a submissive cue that says “Come closer.”

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Female Flirting Cue #2: Teasing

Instead of using friendly humor, women often tease others. Men do it too, but women will give backhanded compliments to see how someone can handle them:

Fumble with opening a heavy door? She might say, “I can tell you’ve been lifting.”
Accidentally stumble on the pavement while walking? “Nice coordination you got there.”
Order a Sex on the Beach instead of straight vodka? “Ha, that’s a weak drink!”

I’ll be the first one to admit it—when I first met Scott, I tested him like crazy. I think it’s a mechanism built inside of us to see how others handle stress. If he breaks, there’s a red flag. But if he’s as cool as a cucumber, he’ll be able to handle greater stress and problems in the future.

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Female Flirting Cue #3: The Butt Curve

When women are really digging someone, they might tilt their back and stick their butt out to form a curve.

A flirting woman may push her chest out, accentuating her chest, while pushing her buttocks out in the opposite direction to make it appear bigger. Notice the curve that runs down her back is in the shape of an S.

↑ Table of Contents ↑

How Do Men Flirt?

Men flirt more directly than women. Here are the cues to watch for:

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Male Flirting Cue #1: Getting Close

Besides leaning in, men will find any excuse to get closer. Look for these territorial cues of attraction:

He’ll move his chair closer. Sometimes he may get so close that his feet are right under your body if you’re seated.
He’ll sit next to you. If you’re out to dinner, he may even choose the seat next to you. If it’s a booth, he may get closer to you as the dinner wears on and he gets more comfortable.
He’ll shoulder up. During conversation, you might find him squaring up more instead of facing you head-on.

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Are you familiar with the 5 love languages? The 5 love languages include words of affirmation and acts of service, but many men prefer physical touch. Men tend to show their affection through touch, and if he’s flirting, he’ll find any excuse to touch you:

a light brush of the arm
tapping your shoulder
putting his hand on your knee

As long as it’s not unwanted and you show positive signs, he’ll keep up the touch throughout the date.

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Male Flirting Cue #3: Impressive Stories

When men flirt, they may lie. Why?

Because they might want to appear cooler than they really are. They do this to impress the woman they are with. So if you ask a man about where he got a scar on his arm and he responds with something like “I fought a tiger,” then you can probably guess he’s lying.

And studies show that men actually get away with lying twice as much as women. If you want to keep the attraction up, all you have to do is stroke his ego—yes, ladies, it’s that simple.

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Bonus: The First Impression Cue Men and Women Find Most Attractive

Picking out the perfect profile picture is hard.

You have to find one where you’re feeling pretty dang attractive—the perfect angle, the perfect lighting, the perfect smile.

And while most of us choose a photo of ourselves sporting a big grin, it raises the question:

Is a smile really the best first impression to give?

It’s definitely a go-to pose for most people, especially on social media. We want to appear happy, friendly, and carefree, laughing or smiling with those pearly whites right in view. But is it what people of the opposite sex find attractive when they first see your picture?

The truth is: yes and no.

But first, if you want a truly deep-dive experience into the science of body language, check out our book:

↑ Table of Contents ↑

Unlock the Secrets of Charisma

Control and leverage the tiny signals you’re sending—from your stance and facial expressions to your word choice and vocal tone—to improve your personal and professional relationships.

Get Cues

↑ Table of Contents ↑

To Smile… Or Not To Smile

That is the question. And the answer to this question depends on whether you’re a man or woman.

Research has shown that men rate women as more attractive if their first impression is their beautiful smiling face. But women’s preferences for men are exactly the opposite—they find that the most attractive first impression is when a man is brooding and mysterious (see here: “the smolder“).

In a study done by Jessica Tracy and Alec Beall, men and women rated the sexual attractiveness of the opposite sex as they viewed pictures of individuals expressing a range of different emotions. These facial expressions varied from happiness (smiling), pride, sadness, moodiness, powerful/confident, etc.

Women found that men who smiled were the least attractive. They even preferred the men who had a moody or shameful facial expression over those with a smile. The reason? Women rated the men with a brooding, mysterious facial expression the highest because it made their faces look more masculine—something women subconsciously desire and look for when choosing a mate.

An interesting tidbit that Beall noted when analyzing results for this study was that smiling is linked to a lack of dominance and that “previous research has also suggested that happiness is a particularly feminine-appearing expression.” Another reason why women tended to prefer men who weren’t smiling.

Women, on the other hand, had the highest-rated first impressions when they were smiling. Men recognize smiling as a flirtation technique (meaning that the woman is available), so this cue attracts them. Men actually rated women who had powerful and confident expressions and body language as the least attractive in this study.

This lack of attraction to dominant women and women’s strong attraction to dominant men reflect the traditional and old-fashioned gender norms that have emerged in our Western society and have been reinforced throughout history.

Women, don’t let this discourage you from being confident, powerful, and happy. And men, don’t stop smiling. This study was solely based on first impressions of sexual attraction, not whether these men and women would make amazing partners.

I hope you found this flirting article helpful! In the meantime, here’s another article you might be interested in: 10 Ways to Become Instantly Irresistible (& Own It!)

Source:

1 Morris, D. (2012). Peoplewatching: The Desmond Morris Guide to Body Language. London: Vintage Digital. 2 Driver, J. & van Aalst, M (2011): You Say More Than You Think: The 7-day Plan for Using the New Body Language to Get what You Want. New York

Side Note: As much as possible we tried to use academic research or expert opinion for this master body language guide. Occasionally, when we could not find research we include anecdotes that are helpful. As more research comes out on nonverbal behavior we will be sure to add it!

This article is part of our body language guide. Click here for more.

Scientists have revealed the secret of female flirting

American scientists have named the features of facial expressions characteristic of flirting in women - a smile, a tilt of the head and a look directed at a partner. This facial expression activates semantic networks associated with sex in men. However, just a happy face has a similar effect, which can lead to awkward situations.

Researchers from the University of Kansas have identified a number of facial features that are characteristic of flirting in women - including smiling, tilting the head and looking at a partner. However, not all men correctly interpret these signals, which can lead to misunderstandings. The study was published in the journal Journal of Sex Research .

The topic of flirting is more often raised in glossy magazines than in scientific ones, so its specific mechanisms and manifestations are poorly studied. However, the inability of people to distinguish flirting from other manifestations of sympathy or politeness often leads to awkward situations and can seriously damage relationships. Therefore, the authors of the work decided to find out what flirting really looks like.

“There are very few scientific papers that systematically study this well-known phenomenon,” says psychology professor Omri Gillat, one of the authors of the paper. “None of these studies have identified how flirting manifests through facial expressions and has not verified the findings.”

For the study, scientists invited more than 400 women, including professional actresses, and asked them to use facial expressions as they do when flirting, or as described in the literature on anthropology. Pictures of women at the time of flirting, as well as photos of them with happy and neutral facial expressions, scientists showed several dozen men. They had to determine whether the girl in the photo was flirting with them or not.

As it turned out, men, in general, are able to understand when they are flirting and when they are not.

Some did it better, some worse. A similar variation was observed among women - some of them coped with the demonstration of flirting better than others.

“In our research, we found that most men were able to recognize certain female facial expressions as flirtatious,” says Gillat. “The flirtatious face has a unique morphology and is distinct from other expressions that have similar features but are not perceived as flirtatious by men, such as smiles. ”

Based on the results obtained, the researchers derived a formula for a "flirting" face - a slight turn of the head to the side and tilt down, a slight smile and a look directed at the object of flirting.

100%

The authors note that expressions containing individual elements of such a face (for example, a smile or head tilt) were also sometimes mistakenly recognized as flirting. Therefore, men should keep in mind that not every smile on the part of a woman means that she is flirting with him. But the reverse situation is also possible, when a man cannot recognize a clear flirting or a woman’s facial expressions during flirting differ from those described.

Also, having selected some of the pictures, the facial expressions on which the men identified most accurately, the researchers presented them to the study participants. Then they were shown a set of letters, which could be random, or could form a word that was neutral (like a magazine) or related to sex (like orgasm). It turned out that after looking at a flirting woman, men quickly highlight sex-related words.

“These results confirm our overall prediction that flirting facial expressions activate sex-related semantic networks in the brain, which increases the recognition of sex-related words and therefore reduces the time taken to identify such words.” the authors write.

Interestingly, the photo of a happy face had a similar effect, but less pronounced.

“Our results support the role of flirting in communication and mating initiation,” says Gillat. “For the first time, we were able not only to isolate and identify expressions that represent flirting, but also to reveal their function – to activate associations associated with relationships and sex.”

An earlier study showed the benefits of flirting with colleagues - it turned out that exchanging compliments and playful glances protected from stress and increased self-esteem. However, scientists draw a clear line between flirting and sexual harassment. Harassment from colleagues and management causes stress, while flirting helps relieve it, they explain.

It also turned out that although employees like to flirt with colleagues, they do not approve of such behavior on the part of those in a higher position.

The publisher of "Flirt" was placed under house arrest in the case of prostitution - RBC

adv.rbc.ru

Hide banners

What is your location ?

YesSelect other