Feels like everyone hates me
SAMHSA’s National Helpline | SAMHSA
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SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
Also visit the online treatment locator.
SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.
Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.
The service is open 24/7, 365 days a year.
English and Spanish are available if you select the option to speak with a national representative. Currently, the 435748 (HELP4U) text messaging service is only available in English.
In 2020, the Helpline received 833,598 calls. This is a 27 percent increase from 2019, when the Helpline received a total of 656,953 calls for the year.
The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid.
If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.
The service is confidential. We will not ask you for any personal information. We may ask for your zip code or other pertinent geographic information in order to track calls being routed to other offices or to accurately identify the local resources appropriate to your needs.
No, we do not provide counseling. Trained information specialists answer calls, transfer callers to state services or other appropriate intake centers in their states, and connect them with local assistance and support.
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Suggested Resources
What Is Substance Abuse Treatment? A Booklet for Families
Created for family members of people with alcohol abuse or drug abuse problems. Answers questions about substance abuse, its symptoms, different types of treatment, and recovery.
Addresses concerns of children of parents with substance use/abuse problems.It's Not Your Fault (NACoA) (PDF | 12 KB)
Assures teens with parents who abuse alcohol or drugs that, "It's not your fault!" and that they are not alone. Encourages teens to seek emotional support from other adults, school counselors, and youth support groups such as Alateen, and provides a resource list.After an Attempt: A Guide for Taking Care of Your Family Member After Treatment in the Emergency Department
Aids family members in coping with the aftermath of a relative's suicide attempt. Describes the emergency department treatment process, lists questions to ask about follow-up treatment, and describes how to reduce risk and ensure safety at home.Family Therapy Can Help: For People in Recovery From Mental Illness or Addiction
Explores the role of family therapy in recovery from mental illness or substance abuse. Explains how family therapy sessions are run and who conducts them, describes a typical session, and provides information on its effectiveness in recovery.
For additional resources, please visit the SAMHSA Store.
Last Updated: 08/30/2022
Alcohol, Tobacco, and Other Drugs
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Misusing alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs can have both immediate and long-term health effects.The misuse and abuse of alcohol, tobacco, illicit drugs, and prescription medications affect the health and well-being of millions of Americans. NSDUH estimates allow researchers, clinicians, policymakers, and the general public to better understand and improve the nation’s behavioral health. These reports and detailed tables present estimates from the 2021 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH).
Alcohol
Data:
- Among the 133.1 million current alcohol users aged 12 or older in 2021, 60.0 million people (or 45.1%) were past month binge drinkers.
The percentage of people who were past month binge drinkers was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (29.2% or 9.8 million people), followed by adults aged 26 or older (22.4% or 49.3 million people), then by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (3.8% or 995,000 people). (2021 NSDUH) - Among people aged 12 to 20 in 2021, 15.1% (or 5.9 million people) were past month alcohol users. Estimates of binge alcohol use and heavy alcohol use in the past month among underage people were 8.3% (or 3.2 million people) and 1.6% (or 613,000 people), respectively. (2021 NSDUH)
- In 2020, 50.0% of people aged 12 or older (or 138.5 million people) used alcohol in the past month (i.e., current alcohol users) (2020 NSDUH)
- Among the 138.5 million people who were current alcohol users, 61.6 million people (or 44.4%) were classified as binge drinkers and 17.7 million people (28.8% of current binge drinkers and 12.8% of current alcohol users) were classified as heavy drinkers (2020 NSDUH)
- The percentage of people who were past month binge alcohol users was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (31.
4%) compared with 22.9% of adults aged 26 or older and 4.1% of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (2020 NSDUH) - Excessive alcohol use can increase a person’s risk of stroke, liver cirrhosis, alcoholic hepatitis, cancer, and other serious health conditions
- Excessive alcohol use can also lead to risk-taking behavior, including driving while impaired. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that 29 people in the United States die in motor vehicle crashes that involve an alcohol-impaired driver daily
Programs/Initiatives:
- STOP Underage Drinking interagency portal - Interagency Coordinating Committee on the Prevention of Underage Drinking
- Interagency Coordinating Committee on the Prevention of Underage Drinking
- Talk. They Hear You.
- Underage Drinking: Myths vs. Facts
- Talking with your College-Bound Young Adult About Alcohol
Relevant links:
- National Association of State Alcohol and Drug Abuse Directors
- Department of Transportation Office of Drug & Alcohol Policy & Compliance
- Alcohol Policy Information Systems Database (APIS)
- National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism
Tobacco
Data:
- In 2020, 20.
7% of people aged 12 or older (or 57.3 million people) used nicotine products (i.e., used tobacco products or vaped nicotine) in the past month (2020 NSDUH) - Among past month users of nicotine products, nearly two thirds of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (63.1%) vaped nicotine but did not use tobacco products. In contrast, 88.9% of past month nicotine product users aged 26 or older used only tobacco products (2020 NSDUH)
- Tobacco use is the leading cause of preventable death, often leading to lung cancer, respiratory disorders, heart disease, stroke, and other serious illnesses. The CDC reports that cigarette smoking causes more than 480,000 deaths each year in the United States
- The CDC’s Office on Smoking and Health reports that more than 16 million Americans are living with a disease caused by smoking cigarettes
Electronic cigarette (e-cigarette) use data:
- In 2021, 13.2 million people aged 12 or older (or 4.7%) used an e-cigarette or other vaping device to vape nicotine in the past month.
The percentage of people who vaped nicotine was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (14.1% or 4.7 million people), followed by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (5.2% or 1.4 million people), then by adults aged 26 or older (3.2% or 7.1 million people). - Among people aged 12 to 20 in 2021, 11.0% (or 4.3 million people) used tobacco products or used an e-cigarette or other vaping device to vape nicotine in the past month. Among people in this age group, 8.1% (or 3.1 million people) vaped nicotine, 5.4% (or 2.1 million people) used tobacco products, and 3.4% (or 1.3 million people) smoked cigarettes in the past month. (2021 NSDUH)
- Data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2020 National Youth Tobacco Survey. Among both middle and high school students, current use of e-cigarettes declined from 2019 to 2020, reversing previous trends and returning current e-cigarette use to levels similar to those observed in 2018
- E-cigarettes are not safe for youth, young adults, or pregnant women, especially because they contain nicotine and other chemicals
Resources:
- Tips for Teens: Tobacco
- Tips for Teens: E-cigarettes
- Implementing Tobacco Cessation Programs in Substance Use Disorder Treatment Settings
- Synar Amendment Program
Links:
- Truth Initiative
- FDA Center for Tobacco Products
- CDC Office on Smoking and Health
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: Tobacco, Nicotine, and E-Cigarettes
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: E-Cigarettes
Opioids
Data:
- Among people aged 12 or older in 2021, 3.
3% (or 9.2 million people) misused opioids (heroin or prescription pain relievers) in the past year. Among the 9.2 million people who misused opioids in the past year, 8.7 million people misused prescription pain relievers compared with 1.1 million people who used heroin. These numbers include 574,000 people who both misused prescription pain relievers and used heroin in the past year. (2021 NSDUH) - Among people aged 12 or older in 2020, 3.4% (or 9.5 million people) misused opioids in the past year. Among the 9.5 million people who misused opioids in the past year, 9.3 million people misused prescription pain relievers and 902,000 people used heroin (2020 NSDUH)
- According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Understanding the Epidemic, an average of 128 Americans die every day from an opioid overdose
Resources:
- Medication-Assisted Treatment
- Opioid Overdose Prevention Toolkit
- TIP 63: Medications for Opioid Use Disorder
- Use of Medication-Assisted Treatment for Opioid Use Disorder in Criminal Justice Settings
- Opioid Use Disorder and Pregnancy
- Clinical Guidance for Treating Pregnant and Parenting Women With Opioid Use Disorder and Their Infants
- The Facts about Buprenorphine for Treatment of Opioid Addiction
- Pregnancy Planning for Women Being Treated for Opioid Use Disorder
- Tips for Teens: Opioids
- Rural Opioid Technical Assistance Grants
- Tribal Opioid Response Grants
- Provider’s Clinical Support System - Medication Assisted Treatment Grant Program
Links:
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: Opioids
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: Heroin
- HHS Prevent Opioid Abuse
- Community Anti-Drug Coalitions of America
- Addiction Technology Transfer Center (ATTC) Network
- Prevention Technology Transfer Center (PTTC) Network
Marijuana
Data:
- In 2021, marijuana was the most commonly used illicit drug, with 18.
7% of people aged 12 or older (or 52.5 million people) using it in the past year. The percentage was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (35.4% or 11.8 million people), followed by adults aged 26 or older (17.2% or 37.9 million people), then by adolescents aged 12 to 17 (10.5% or 2.7 million people). - The percentage of people who used marijuana in the past year was highest among young adults aged 18 to 25 (34.5%) compared with 16.3% of adults aged 26 or older and 10.1% of adolescents aged 12 to 17 (2020 NSDUH)
- Marijuana can impair judgment and distort perception in the short term and can lead to memory impairment in the long term
- Marijuana can have significant health effects on youth and pregnant women.
Resources:
- Know the Risks of Marijuana
- Marijuana and Pregnancy
- Tips for Teens: Marijuana
Relevant links:
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: Marijuana
- Addiction Technology Transfer Centers on Marijuana
- CDC Marijuana and Public Health
Emerging Trends in Substance Misuse:
- Methamphetamine—In 2019, NSDUH data show that approximately 2 million people used methamphetamine in the past year.
Approximately 1 million people had a methamphetamine use disorder, which was higher than the percentage in 2016, but similar to the percentages in 2015 and 2018. The National Institute on Drug Abuse Data shows that overdose death rates involving methamphetamine have quadrupled from 2011 to 2017. Frequent meth use is associated with mood disturbances, hallucinations, and paranoia. - Cocaine—In 2019, NSDUH data show an estimated 5.5 million people aged 12 or older were past users of cocaine, including about 778,000 users of crack. The CDC reports that overdose deaths involving have increased by one-third from 2016 to 2017. In the short term, cocaine use can result in increased blood pressure, restlessness, and irritability. In the long term, severe medical complications of cocaine use include heart attacks, seizures, and abdominal pain.
- Kratom—In 2019, NSDUH data show that about 825,000 people had used Kratom in the past month. Kratom is a tropical plant that grows naturally in Southeast Asia with leaves that can have psychotropic effects by affecting opioid brain receptors.
It is currently unregulated and has risk of abuse and dependence. The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that health effects of Kratom can include nausea, itching, seizures, and hallucinations.
Resources:
- Tips for Teens: Methamphetamine
- Tips for Teens: Cocaine
- National Institute on Drug Abuse
More SAMHSA publications on substance use prevention and treatment.
Last Updated: 01/05/2023
What if everyone hates you
March 14, 2022 How to live Relationship
First, make sure that the sensations do not fail.
A person encounters negativity repeatedly throughout his life. Sometimes it is true: if you do something bad to someone, even if unconsciously, the victim may experience a range of negative emotions towards the guilty person. And sometimes not: because someone slandered or for some similar reasons.
But sometimes it seems that everybody hates you.
Moreover, it is not always necessary to do or say something reprehensible for this. Sometimes listening to the wrong music or dressing differently is enough. nine0003
Or you can not stand out at all. Hatred is directed not at a person personally, but at the group to which he belongs. Moreover, even if he does not share the ideas of this group and does not support the actions. For example, if he was an employee of the organization at the time when the management did something that is condemned in a decent society, he may become an object of hatred. On the one hand, his opinion was not taken into account. On the other hand, he may be considered an accomplice. And at the same time, he himself may feel guilty, even if he was not silent, but actively disagreed with what was happening. nine0003
But hatred destroys. Therefore, it is important to understand what to do in this situation.
Make sure you really encounter hate
There is a risk of drawing premature conclusions.
You may feel like the whole world is against you. But that may not be the case at all.
Elena Masolova
Psychologist, gestalt therapist, author of the method of working with the family system using the genosociogram.
It is important to understand that if a person believes that they hate him, this is only his perception of the situation. We can only know for sure if we are told this. If there was no conversion, then these are our fantasies, not based on facts. nine0003
And if only for this reason, it is somewhat presumptuous to think that the whole world hates you specifically. Most of the world's population is simply unaware of your existence. And even if we are talking about strong negative feelings towards some group of people, many quite successfully separate the instigators and hostages of what is happening. That is, they hate the group as a whole, but they don’t specifically hate you. And you can find out if you talk.
Elena Masolova
Psychologist, gestalt therapist, author of the method of working with the family system using the genosociogram.
nine0003
In a situation where a person has spoken directly about his feeling of hatred, try asking him what exactly in your behavior he hates, and ask him to give facts.
In this case, it will become clear to you what exactly in your actions caused such feelings in him. This will relieve some of the emotional stress, because uncertainty and reticence gives us suffering, because we begin to think out ourselves. And our thoughts may differ from reality.
Work with guilt
Sometimes thoughts of universal hatred arise from the fact that a person considers himself responsible for what is happening, even if he really could not influence anything. At the same time, the feelings of others may not be so important. He thinks that everyone hates him, because how could it be otherwise: he is to blame. And here it is important to work with your feelings.
Elena Masolova
Psychologist, gestalt therapist, author of the method of working with the family system using the genosociogram.
nine0003
There are two types of wine. The first is real guilt, when there is specific harm done to another person. And it can be redeemed: to apologize or, say, to serve a term - depending on the severity of the act. This is a healthy expression. The second type is far-fetched guilt, when there is no real damage. Suppose a person belongs to a certain group of people in whose name something bad is being done. It is not related to this action and does not support it.
To begin with, it is necessary to realize at least this. And it becomes easier for many, and someone even stops feeling guilty. Same with shame. If the situation is not improving, then you should ask yourself the question: do I feel guilty about everything? For the fact that the child received a deuce at school, that the husband was rude to a neighbor, and so on. In this case, it is worth working with your sense of guilt for the whole world with a specialist. nine0003
It is important for people to understand that when they are overwhelmed by too strong feelings, this is always a reason to deal with themselves.
A person with good reflection will not feel guilty for what he did not do.
Try to understand the other person's feelings
Of course, the easiest way is to take a defensive stance: “Oh, so! I'm not guilty of anything, and you hate me, so get it! But this is also not very constructive.
Irina Izvekova
Psychologist.
Conflict in relationships at any time, and especially now, can be truly destructive, or it can become a source of better understanding of yourself and others. The exercise described below will help reduce the intensity of emotions in order to move on to understanding. nine0003
Irina Izvekova advises to do the following:
- Find a secluded place. You will need paper, a pen and 20-30 minutes of your time.
- Think about what exactly you are accused of? Give yourself time to remember specific words. Write it down briefly.
- Find something in common in everything you hear. What is the very essence, the core of the accusation?
- Now defend yourself, deny the accusations, and allow yourself to feel that you are not all to blame, there is something still untouched inside.
nine0062 - After taking care of yourself, take another step towards a solution. Try to find in the core of the accusation a grain of truth, even a small one. It is enough to agree to only 1%.
- Write down your thoughts and feelings briefly. If you manage to find and recognize even a little, perhaps you will feel understanding and compassion for a different position and a different outlook on life. Notice even the smallest, slightest changes in your body, feelings, breath, and relationships after you accept a grain of truth. nine0062
The psychologist notes: “If you manage sincerely, with respect for yourself, to recognize the right of another to his point of view, the sharpness of interpersonal confrontation can begin to decrease at least for a while. The exercise can be repeated as needed. And remember, you're okay if you don't succeed."
Another important point: consider the state of people who experience negativity and under what conditions. If they are under a lot of stress, just give them the opportunity to experience any feelings.
It’s hard for them now, they don’t have time to figure out whether all people wish them harm and how specifically you are to blame. When the situation changes for the better, then you will find out. In the meantime, you can sympathize with them and not take everything personally. nine0003
Protect yourself
According to Irina Izvekova, people who experience self-hatred can experience a huge lack of security, and this is a basic need of the psyche. In the absence of security, it is difficult or even impossible to be a creative, happy and productive person.
If absolutely unbearable, the expert advises to consider several steps for self-help:
- Physically cut off communication. Maybe it will be a temporary step, maybe not. The decision can be made later, after the decline of emotions. It is important to understand that physical care does not solve the psychological roots of the problem, but helps to protect oneself, to take a breather for awareness. nine0062
- Support yourself emotionally, don't trust the accusing voices inside.
Find at least one person in your close or distant environment, here or in the past, who treats you well in order to build on the positive experience of relationships where you are appreciated. - Find someone you can tell about what is happening. The feeling of isolation and loneliness makes the situation more difficult. If there are no trusted persons in the environment, use helplines.
Live on
It's much nicer when everyone around you loves you. But when this is not the case, do not give up.
Elena Masolova
Psychologist, gestalt therapist, author of the method of working with the family system using the genosociogram.
If we are convinced that a person really hates us, and understand why, then it is important to accept that we are not responsible for the feelings of others. People have the right to love us or hate us. And their feelings cannot influence our actions if they do not violate other people's boundaries in any way. Otherwise, if we want everyone to love us, then we can very quickly betray ourselves and forever adapt to others.
nine0003
Read also 🧐
- What to do if you want to convince a person
- What to do if you and your parents have different views on life
- Why do we label people and what does it lead to
“I’m afraid of people because I think they all hate me”
Question for an expert Know yourself A man among people
I am constantly in tension: I always think that I everyone hates that everyone hates me, that everyone thinks how miserable I am. I can't relax, I can't leave the house. It is difficult for me to work and study because of this, and making mistakes is generally death for me. nine0003
Amina, 19 years old
Amina, how did it all start? You did not immediately find yourself in such a position when you had to close yourself from everyone and be afraid of everything.
If you really cannot leave the house, it is best to seek professional help from a psychiatrist, as the symptoms you describe are similar to those that occur with serious mental health problems.
WHO (World Health Organization) states that mental health is the ability to adapt to change. If you can't safely move around the streets out of fear that everyone hates you, then this is an overreaction. nine0003
If you were to leave the house and immediately a crowd of angry people gathered around you, who would scold you, insult you and point fingers at you, then this would be a good reason for everyone to be afraid and stay at home in safety.
I don't think that's what happens to you when you decide to take a walk or go on business. Most likely, these are your thoughts, which are increasingly preventing you from living a normal life.
Our perception of reality is extremely subjective: if we have ideas, we will confirm them with facts. That's how the psyche works. nine0003
It is important to develop the ability to critically evaluate your own thoughts so as not to end up in a position where "everyone" hates us
You repeated this pronoun many times - this is called generalization and hyperbolization.
