Your messed up

Sooner or later, we all face a complete lack of understanding of who we are, what emotions we feel and what we should do. When you realize that you are having difficulty making decisions, and every step you take seems wrong to you and causes you to experience severe anxiety and stress, know that you are just confused in yourself.

You must understand that in such a situation it is important not to do stupid things that can greatly ruin your life in the future. Being in complete disorientation, you can hardly think logically and prioritize correctly. Also, you should not let everything take its course - relieve yourself of responsibility for your actions or do nothing at all. nine0003

We have put together several ways to help you understand yourself and stop making mistakes. Use at least a few of them so that the situation gradually begins to clear up.

1. Give yourself time to recover

If you find yourself confused and having trouble identifying what you're feeling, don't take any serious steps. Remember: in this state, you should not make important choices, take risks, take on additional responsibility, or do things that you are not completely sure are necessary. It is better to give yourself a little time to recover - so you can avoid rash actions that will bring only chaos into your life. nine0003

Ideally, if you take a break from everything - cut down contact with other people for a while, even family and friends, push work into the background and just give yourself at least a few days to withdraw into yourself and think about your life. By the way, this is an important practice that would not hurt to repeat constantly. So you will reduce the risk of losing your internal guidelines and avoid confusion in thoughts and feelings.

2. Get rid of the need to listen to other people's opinions

As usual, when you feel confused and do not know what to do with your life, you decide to ask others for advice. But this is a big mistake - if you yourself do not understand what you want and what you feel, then other people will not be able to tell you about it. Instead of getting at least some clarity, you will wallow in doubts even more, because other people's advice will be very different from each other.

Don't ask people for their opinion - they've never been in your position, which means they can hardly be objective. Each of them tells you what he himself would do if he got into a similar life situation. The value of such advice tends to zero - you will just waste your time trying to get at least something useful from what you heard. nine0003

3. Do not try to please everyone

Analyze your behavior, thoughts and feelings: you must understand where you end and your desire to please others begins. Unfortunately, some part of your actions will not be aimed at improving your life, but at obtaining approval and admiration. If you put too much effort into it, you are bound to be disappointed.

You can never please everyone - no matter how hard you try to adjust your behavior to some standards, there will always be people whom you will annoy just like that, for no apparent reason. And when the usual scheme ceases to satisfy your expectations, you will finally return to reality and think about how much in your life has been done not for you, but for others. nine0003

How to get rid of self-doubt and stop being afraid of everything

4. Stop clinging to your past

You need to be able to let go of your past, if only in order to move forward without the burden of problems, resentment and unnecessary worries. You will not understand what to do, and you will continue to get confused in your feelings until you start looking into the future.

Yes, you will definitely have regrets when you have to give up your old version, part with people who once played an important role in your life, change a well-known profession for something new. But do not attach great importance to them - they should not become a hindrance. Remember that change is always for the better. nine0003

5. Don't let yourself depend on other people

Another important point that for some reason few people think about. Analyze how your relationships with loved ones are built. Do you feel calm and confident, or do you constantly worry about whether you are doing the right thing or speaking in front of them and are afraid of losing them?

If you allow yourself to depend on others, you are making a big mistake. You voluntarily fall under their influence, allowing their needs and desires to dictate your words and actions. It is no wonder that over time you lose yourself, start to get confused in your feelings and do not understand what to do with your life. nine0003

If you want to solve this problem, stop shaking just thinking about losing someone. People who love and appreciate you are unlikely to refuse to communicate with you, even if you do something stupid.

6. Don't try to control everything

In this state, you'd better shift your focus to yourself. Instead of trying to control what happens in your life, start to analyze your thoughts, words and actions. Remember: the only thing that enters your zone of influence is your reactions to external stimuli. nine0003

You spend too much time, effort and other resources trying to control everything around you. Just allow everything that you cannot prevent to happen - spare yourself from meaningless actions. With the same emotional costs, you can work out your attitude to the problem, understand the cause-and-effect relationships, and build a new plan of action.

7. Stop solving other people's problems

If you feel confused about yourself and your actions, stop solving other people's problems. Put yourself, your needs and experiences in the first place, those around you will perfectly cope with their lives on their own or, in extreme cases, will find new helpers for themselves. You have to focus on yourself: understand what is bothering you, where your emotions come from, how to direct them in a constructive direction. nine0003

By solving other people's problems, you can stop noticing your own. But they will not disappear anywhere and will continue to spoil your life. As soon as you start paying more attention to yourself, the situation will improve.

10 things about which you tell lies to yourself and your loved ones

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for life port of destination - sails not to where the desired result awaits him, but to where the wind and undercurrents drive. Very often this leads to the fact that a person has been marking time in one place for YEARS. nine0003

I knew one person who, either following the will of external circumstances (in the person of superiors, acquaintances, social “trends”, etc.), or parental attitudes, or his momentary desires and immature ambitions, destroyed two of his marriages, lost a solid position in the state hierarchy, and then the very opportunity to get a more or less decent job, spoiled relationships with loved ones. And as a result, he became so disoriented in his life that he drank heavily, almost thundered into a colony and miraculously did not lose his apartment. nine0003

Now he drags out a miserable, beggarly existence, miraculously not slipping into the social bottom, although he could become an influential and respected person, if not at the regional, then certainly at the local level. And all this because he DID NOT KNOW what to do if he got confused in life.

If you are at a crossroads in life, if you have many questions, but no answers to them, if you do not know how to continue to live, then I sincerely hope that the recommendations of this article will help you avoid unnecessary mistakes and the possible collapse of all life prospects . nine0003

The first recommendation is, oddly enough, to do nothing. That is, not to make ill-conceived and unnecessary, and therefore extremely dangerous body movements. There is only one safety rule for those who have fallen into a quagmire or quicksand - in no case should you randomly wave your arms and legs, do not make sharp and chaotic movements - fall even deeper, sucking in the one who flutters the most. In nature, this rule can be observed in the example of a web, where the fly that beats the most is entangled the fastest. nine0003

So don't move. "Investing in clutter" only increases the amount of clutter in your life. Before you do something, you need to eliminate the mess (in the head), before you eliminate the mess, you just need to stop and take a sober look around.

The second recommendation is to review the strategy. You did not find yourself at this point in life by accident. Something brought you here. And that something is your life strategy, whether you realize it or not. Therefore, sit down, take a pen and paper and start analyzing: “How did I get to such a life.” To make this process faster, better and more interesting for you, I recommend using training program "Victory Code".

The third recommendation is to “get out of the press”. To start a new life means to get out of the impasse, to understand the confusing route. But not for a person who carries with him a rotting bag of difficult and emotionally unresolved situations. Such a person simply will not reach the exit. Why, it will be difficult for him to take even a couple of steps. How to be here? The bag must be dropped. There are no 2 options here. How exactly is a technical question. It helps me personally and my clients a lot in this processing PEAT .

Here it is important to catch and try to realize one simple thing - a person, despite all his perfection, is very similar to a car. The car runs as long as there is fuel. No fuel - the car is not moving. A person moves as long as he has energy. More energy - the process goes better, faster, more fun. Little energy - the process is slow, painful, dull.

Energy is elusive, but we feel it through emotions. Negative emotions - the flow of energy slows down, narrows, gradually dries up. Positive emotions - energy is in full swing, “we can move mountains” (see also "9 emotional states" ). This state is also called "resource" because there is a resource - energy. Therefore, energy must be released, PEAT helps a lot in this.

The fourth recommendation is to "separate the wheat from the chaff." Even in 3 pines it is easy to get lost if you have a map with false coordinates - you will wander in a circle "until the second coming." In our life, and, consequently, in our head there is a lot of various information “garbage”: false values, rotten “ideas”, vulgar ambitions, outdated beliefs, relic installations, etc. etc. nine0003

As children, we were strongly taught that “we must obey our elders”. In adult life, this transformed into "obey the authorities." What does the boss need? So that the employee works hard (preferably seven days a week), "receives a hat" for the managerial jambs of the authorities and does not create problems for the authorities (i.e. does not make any demands). The ideal worker is a robot!

Will such a conviction help you get out of life's impasse? Something I strongly doubt. The conclusion is to throw it in a landfill. nine0003

The fifth recommendation is to find your Big Goal. Actually, this is the way out for those who get lost and wonder "What to do if you get confused in life?" What does it take to find your Big Goal? Very simple - you need to be able to rise above your life and look at it from the outside (for more information, you can find in my article "How to find your Path in life? We think systematically" ). To make it clearer for you, here is a small illustrative parable:

Once a Taoist Master brought his disciple to a park located at the foot of a mountain. The park contained a complex labyrinth with high and smooth walls. The labyrinth had no roof, and its passages were illuminated by sunlight.
The master led the apprentice to the entrance to the labyrinth and told him to find the exit. The student wandered in the labyrinth all day and all night, but time after time he invariably came to a dead end. Desperate to get out, he fell to the ground and fell asleep. nine0122 Feeling someone shaking his shoulder, the student opened his eyes. Above him stood the Master.
"Follow me," he said.
Coming out of the labyrinth, the Taoist, without turning around, began to climb the mountain. Climbing to the top, he ordered:
- Look down!
From where they stood, the labyrinth was visible at a glance.
- Looking from here, can you find the path leading to the exit of the labyrinth? the Taoist asked.
“It's easy,” the student said. - You just need to look closely. nine0122 “Find it and memorize it well,” the Teacher ordered. After some time they went down the mountain, the student entered the labyrinth and confidently passed it, never straying or getting lost.
“The lesson you received today concerns one of the main secrets of the Art of Living,” the Taoist said after meeting the student at the exit.
— The further you move away from the situation, the higher you rise above it, the more surface your eyes cover, the easier it is to find the right solution.

Finding your life path, your Bigger Goal can take you days, weeks, even months. Do not despair if the realization of your goal did not immediately fall upon you like "manna from heaven." This is a serious process and it takes time. As the saying goes, "he who seeks will find."

If you feel sorry for your time and want to insure yourself against possible mistakes in finding your big goal, then use the program "Building a new life" . As part of this program, there is the option of guaranteed finding your life purpose.

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