Signs a narcissist is cheating

8 Deceitful Narcissist Cheating Signs You Should Not Deny

Last Updated on July 4, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester

How do you know if a narcissist is cheating on you? What are the 8 Narcissist Cheating signs and how do you come to terms with it?

Narcissists are notorious for engaging in both emotional and physical infidelity (1).

In fact, there is a wealth of research that suggests narcissism is positively correlated with having extramarital affairs and more sexually permissive attitudes towards infidelity, even when there is satisfaction in a present relationship (2, 3).

The difference between your average cheater and a narcissistic cheater is that the narcissist is searching for power and control.

Due to their lack of empathy and thirst for validation and narcissistic supply, narcissists are capable of collecting fans and admirers they can feed off of .

All while maintaining a long-term relationship with a primary partner.

Table of Contents:

8 Signs a Narcissist is Cheating
Do All Narcissists Cheat?
Why do Narcissists Cheat?
Dealing with a Cheating Narcissist

They’re often successful in deceiving their long-term partner and their other conquests due to their ability to manufacture lies and gaslight their victims into believing them.

Narcissists have the ability to present a false mask. This allows them to deceive their partners and everyone else around them into believing that they are charming and honest.

Let’s start with 8 warning signs the Narcissist is cheating on you.

Narcissist Cheating Signs – 8 Signs a Narcissist is Cheating on You

There are varying levels of narcissism and different types according to some, so of course, not every narcissist will display exactly the same behaviors.

And the cheating narcissist is likely to have developed a strategy that works for them when it comes to deceiving their victims.

However, there are some general signs you can watch out for that might reveal your partner as a cheating narcissist.

1. Early on, they boldly declare that they would never lie or cheat

Cheating Sign #1: Beware of the hypocritical narcissist who deals in contradictions.

If they declare early on in the relationship how much they despise lying and cheating, this could be a sign that they are exactly what they say they’re not.

Remember, someone who constantly has to remind you how honest and trustworthy they are is probably the opposite of this behind your back.

They may even tell you a tragic story of how they themselves were cheated on to appear a victim and state that this is why they would never do such a thing, but if they constantly talk about how much they believe in integrity and honesty, this can actually be a red flag.

Narcissists often project a different image of themselves to the world, which contradicts who they really are (4).

2. They often cancel plans last minute or you don’t hear from them for days at a time

If you’re in the early stages of an ‘exclusive’ relationship, it’s easy to dismiss these behaviors as flakiness or attempts to play it cool.

However, if these behaviors persist, it could be a sign you’re not the only one your narcissist has time for.

If you’re in a long-term relationship with a narcissist and they commonly use stonewalling (the silent treatment) against you.

This could also be a sign they are cheating, as they may be using this time to pursue their other targets.

This is why they might ask to take a ‘break’ from you or you don’t hear from them for days at a time.

Even if you live with them, they may find ways to be ‘away’. They may even purposely start a fight with you in order to have a valid excuse to be absent.

3. Their social media use is shady

narcissists will often use social media as it gives them a sense of validation and power knowing they have people following and admiring them (5).

Suspicious behavior on social media can manifest in a variety of ways.

Narcissists are known to be on dating apps even while committed and may also engage in obvious flirting both online and offline (6).

You might notice they post flirtatious comments on the photos of others or that they follow a large volume of sexually explicit accounts.

They may refuse to put up a relationship status with you or keep adding suspicious new ‘friends’.

Equally, if your partner has no social media accounts at all, this could also be a red flag.

They could be using this as a way of protecting themselves – if none of their partners can see what they’re doing on social media, it’s far harder to be caught.

4. Other people warn you about them

If the narcissist’s ex-partners are calling them out publicly or going out of their way to warn you about them, take a step back.

This may seem like quite an obvious sign, but the narcissist is such a good liar it can be easy to believe them when they claim these people are ‘crazy’.

They will smear their ex-victims and say they were ‘obsessed’.

They may even pre-empt these warnings and tell you lies before these people reach out to warn you.

But don’t assume that every past lover is out just to ruin your relationship, listen to these warnings if they arise.

5. They lie compulsively

Narcissists are often masters of pathological lying (7). They gain a sense of power from being able to pull the wool over people’s eyes.

If they are cheating on you, they’ll be lying to prevent themselves from getting caught.

However, they may even lie when they have no reason to do so at all, as it gives them a sense of superiority. If you notice them lying about small everyday things, it could be a sign they are cheating on you.

6. They get extremely jealous or accuse you of cheating

To distract you from their own infidelity, they may call you out and suggest you are cheating on them.

They may think you won’t suspect them of being unfaithful if they show strong contempt for such behavior.

Even if you do suspect they are cheating on you, it’s hard to bring up the subject whilst also trying to defend yourself. This is a strong sign you’re being cheated on.

7. Sex habits change

Sex can be a source for the narcissist to receive their fix of narcissistic supply.

If you notice they are no longer demanding as much sex from you, there is a good chance they are getting it from somewhere else.

Or if they suddenly want more sex from you, this could indicate that they have recently discarded another lover and so they return to you to meet their needs.

8. They suddenly become very frugal

Narcissists love to splash the cash on new love interests in the early stages of a relationship when they ‘love bomb’ their latest victim.

If you notice a sharp decrease in the amount of money and time they want to spend on you, it’s likely they are focusing their attention somewhere else.

Do all Narcissists Cheat?

Not all narcissists are cheaters, but having Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) does make them more likely than the ordinary person to be unfaithful to their partner (8).

Similarly, you can’t say that all cheaters are narcissists. People from all backgrounds and with all types of personalities are capable of cheating.

But the reasons a narcissist may cheat and the way they feel (or don’t) about it does separate them from others.

Why do narcissists cheat?

The tendency of a narcissist to cheat on a partner comes from a combination of factors. Some things that may contribute are:

Narcissistic supply

Narcissists feed off attention and a single relationship does not always give them what they need,.

Especially if that relationship has been going a while and is no longer as ‘exciting’ as it once was.

They may look to new admirers to provide the highs of attention they are looking for.

Sense of entitlement

Narcissists believe they are more deserving of things than others.

They feel entitled to whatever they want in life and this includes having more than one partner or having affairs.

Reading Suggestion: Do Narcissists Enjoy Kissing?

Poor impulse control

There is evidence that suggests a strong relationship between narcissism and impulsivity (9).

This is not always true, as narcissists can also be extremely calculating, but in situations where there is an opportunity to secure narcissistic supply.

A narcissist may find the urge irresistible and show a lack of self-control.

This is not excusing their behavior at all, but simply making you aware of this narcissistic trait.

Power trip

Narcissists like to feel they have control over others (10), so they may see it as a challenge to attract and seduce people, even if they are in a relationship.

They enjoy the chase and the satisfaction of successfully seducing someone.

They may even get more pleasure out of controlling more than one partner and so may engage in affairs or even lead multiple lives with multiple partners.

They see this as proof they are superior to others.

Lack of empathy

Narcissists can dehumanize people and see them merely as objects to use for their own gain (11).

This means that they don’t empathize with them and feel no guilt for cheating on a partner, even if it’s someone they’ve been in a long-term relationship with.

This is because they have cut off from their human emotions, which they think makes them vulnerable.

How do you deal with a Cheating Narcissist?

If you notice some of these red flags, you have two options:

Confront the narcissist or,
Leave them as quickly and quietly as you can.

What happens when you confront a cheating narcissist?

If you’re pretty certain that your narcissist is cheating on you and you decide to confront them about it.

Just remember that they will use all of the usual narcissistic techniques to try and get out of it and keep you on their side. Some typical narcissistic reactions include:

Denial – this will typically be their first reaction and they will refuse to admit to doing anything wrong. They will probably spin some lie to convince you of their innocence. Even if you have evidence that shows they are guilty, they will discredit this and insist the source is unreliable.

Anger – they will get angry and gaslight you to throw you off the scent. They will refuse to engage on the issue and shut down the conversation any time you raise it.

Blame – if they are completely backed in to a corner and have no choice but to admit they are cheating, they will try to turn the situation around and blame you for their wrongdoings, claiming it’s your behaviour that drove them to cheat.

Should you confront a cheating narcissist?

Confronting your cheater certainly won’t feel good and they’re likely to be nasty about the whole thing.

But, if you require some proof, for the purpose of divorce, for example, you might have to do it.

Even if you just want to leave the relationship, having this conversation might be the first step in that process.

Leaving a narcissist is not easy but if the Narcissist knows you’ve figured them out and no longer believes their lies, they might decide you’re no longer worth the effort and make the split easier.

The alternative is to simply leave and go no contact with them. If you think there is nothing to be gained from confronting them, then this is definitely your best option.

Read my other article for more on how best to ignore a narcissist.

In the long term, this is an effective way of dealing with a narcissist, although it can be difficult at the start.

Final Thoughts

Whatever approach you take, the narcissist is likely to conduct a smear campaign against you that makes you out to be the bad person as they won’t want others to believe they are any less perfect than they think they are.

In the end, you are probably better off to stop the relationship.

Narcissists are very unlikely to change their ways. If they are cheating on you now, they will probably continue to do so, no matter how remorseful they may seem.

References Used for this article

Foster, J. D., Shrira, I., & Campbell, W. K. (2006). Theoretical models of narcissism, sexuality, and relationship commitment. Journal of social and Personál Relationships, 23(3), 367-386.
Hunyady, O., Josephs, L., & Jost, J. T. (2008). Priming the primal scene: Betrayal trauma, narcissism, and attitudes toward sexual infidelity. Self and Identity, 7(3), 278-294.
McNulty, J. K., & Widman, L. (2014). Sexual narcissism and infidelity in early marriage. Archives of sexual behavior, 43(7), 1315-1325.
Hart, W., Adams, J., Burton, K. A., & Tortoriello, G. K. (2017). Narcissism and self-presentation: Profiling grandiose and vulnerable Narcissists’ self-presentation tactic use. Personality and Individual Differences, 104, 48-57.
Andreassen, C. S., Pallesen, S., & Griffiths, M. D. (2017). The relationship between addictive use of social media, narcissism, and self-esteem: Findings from a large national survey. Addictive behaviors, 64, 287-293.
March, E., Grieve, R., Marrington, J., & Jonason, P. K. (2017). Trolling on Tinder®(and other dating apps): Examining the role of the Dark Tetrad and impulsivity. Personality and Individual Differences, 110, 139-143.
O’Reilly III, C. A., & Doerr, B. (2020). Conceit and deceit: Lying, cheating, and stealing among grandiose narcissists. Personality and Individual Differences, 154, 109627.
Vaknin, S. (2001). Malignant self love: Narcissism revisited. Narcissus Publishing.
Vazire, S., & Funder, D. C. (2006). Impulsivity and the self-defeating behavior of narcissists. Personality and social psychology review, 10(2), 154-165.
Hart, W., Richardson, K., Tortoriello, G., & Tullett, A. (2017). Strategically out of control: A self-presentational conceptualization of narcissism and low self-control. Personality and Individual Differences, 114, 103-107.
Watson, P. J., Grisham, S. O., Trotter, M. V., & Biderman, M. D. (1984). Narcissism and empathy: Validity evidence for the Narcissistic Personality Inventory. Journal of personality assessment, 48(3), 301-305.

10 Narcissist Cheating Signs & How to Confront Them

In This Article

Do you suspect your partner may be cheating on you? Do they tend to disappear for days on end and not answer your calls until they return? Do they get all accusatory when you confront them about disappearances and unfaithful behavior?

Are they constantly glued to their phone and shady on social media?

As much as you may not want to hear it, you may be dealing with a cheating narcissist.

These are only some of the common narcissist cheating signs. But before exploring them, let’s dig deeper into narcissistic cheater traits and the reasons for infidelity.

Who is a narcissistic person?

Narcissistic people often feel entitled and superior to others and have a massive ego that they need to feed regularly. They crave constant attention and want people to admire them.

They are self-centered, manipulative, and often project their infidelity to their partner.

They feel the need to control their partner, and that power trip isn’t satisfied with just one person. The more people they seduce, the more powerful they feel.

Do narcissists feel remorse for cheating on their partners?

Unfortunately, they don’t.

If they felt any guilt, they would perhaps be able to change their behavior and stop cheating.

No consequence is enough to turn them around because, in their eyes, cheating isn’t anything serious. It’s just a way to make them feel better about themselves.

And since they lack remorse for their actions, nothing stops them from doing it again.

Related Reading: Signs You Are Married to a Narcissist

Why do narcissists cheat and lie?

Narcissists often cheat because they have little to no self-control. It’s not usually in their nature to resist the temptation to feed their ego with new sources of attention.

Poor impulse control, a big ego, exaggerated feelings of self-importance, delusions of grandeur, lack of remorse, empathy and shame, and a constant need for narcissistic supply are the key reasons why narcissists lie and cheat on their partners.

Most of all, they simply think they can get away with it.

Now that you have a better idea of why narcissists lie and cheat, you may be wondering:

Do all narcissists cheat on their partners?

Narcissists and cheating often go hand in hand, but you’ll be happy to know that not all narcissists cheat.

You wouldn’t say that all cheaters are narcissists, would you? The same goes the other way around.

Just because your partner may have some narcissistic cheater traits doesn’t mean that they’re going to sneak behind your back and become unfaithful.

Still, a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) does make a person more likely to lie and cheat for no good reason and do it repeatedly.

Related Reading: How to Deal With a Narcissist in a Relationship?

10 signs a narcissist is cheating on you

Knowing narcissist cheating signs and how to recognize that your partner may be having an affair can save you a lot of potential pain and heartache.

These are the telltale narcissist cheating signs you should be aware of:

1. Disappearing frequently and being vague about their whereabouts

The first in the list of narcissist cheating signs is that many cheating narcissists tend to drop off the face of the Earth regularly and not take their partner’s calls for hours or days on end.

Even if you live together, they may not find it difficult to find excuses to go away for several days. They could say they’re visiting a friend or a distant relative that lives in another city.

Obviously, they don’t need to disappear for long periods to have an affair. But if they’re unreachable for hours, they may be seeing someone else.

2. Flirting on social media

Flirting with someone else on social media may be a sign a narcissist is cheating on you.

You know what they say, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.”

If you confront your partner about it, they may say that they’re only friends. However, if they’re publicly flirting on social media, it only means they don’t respect you or care about what you or others might think.

3. Not putting their phone down or letting you anywhere near it

One of the narcissist cheating signs or for anyone, in general, is that when anyone is cheating, they usually communicate with their flings via text messages. That’s why their phone isn’t likely to leave their side. It’s also always password-protected.

If there’s a chance of their fling calling, they’re likely to keep their phone in silent mode and inside their pocket.

4. Accusing you of having an affair

“The best defense is a good offense.”

If you accuse your narcissistic partner of having an affair, they’re probably going to deny it, even if it’s true.

But to turn the focus away from their infidelity, they might start accusing you of cheating. Projection is a narcissist’s defense mechanism and clearly one of the narcissist cheating signs that they use to play the victim and throw you off the scent.

5. Sudden changes in behavior

Has your partner started paying much more attention to their hygiene and appearance? Have they started being sneaky and coming home late? Maybe they no longer answer their phone while you’re around?

If you notice any unusual behavior changes that indicate infidelity, and your gut is telling you that something fishy is going on, it may be one of those narcissist cheating signs, and you may be right.

6. Sudden changes in libido

If your partner suddenly seems uninterested in you physically, they may be satisfying their needs elsewhere.

The same is true if they start displaying a higher libido than usual. It may mean that the person they’re cheating you with isn’t currently available, so they turn to you again.

7. Canceling plans frequently

Whether you’re dating a cheating narcissist or you’re married to one, canceling plans at the last minute may be signs of a narcissist cheating as they’ve made other plans.

They may say it’s because of work or anything else important that came up. While that may be true at times, it screams infidelity if it happens all the time.

8. Avoiding a conversation about their cagey behavior

Confronting a narcissist about lies, cheating, and their cagey behavior only makes them behave shadier. They rarely want to talk things out because they aren’t likely to admit they’re seeing someone else, which is one of the important signs of a cheating narcissist.

If you accuse your partner of cheating, you may give them an excellent excuse to disappear for a while to avoid having a serious conversation.

9. Showering you with gifts out of the blue

If your partner isn’t used to buying you gifts, but they start doing it frequently, they may be trying to throw you off the scent of their unfaithful actions.

Making you feel special all of a sudden is one of the most common manipulation techniques of a narcissist. They make their partners think they’re thoughtful and caring and that they would never cheat on them.

The video below talks about different games narcissists play, like dehumanizing, blame-shifting, etc. Find out more:

10. Mysteriously spending more money behind your back

If you’re dating a cheating narcissist, you probably don’t have an insight into their spending. But if you’re married to one and discover unidentifiable charges on their credit card, they may be buying gifts for someone else.

Talking about finances are essential in marriage but such signs of a cheating narcissist are true if they insist you switch to separate bank accounts after having a joint account for years.

Related Reading: Can a Narcissist Change for Love?

What happens when you confront a narcissist cheater?

If you notice any of the red flags above and they turn out to be true, it’s important to understand that cheating is not your fault. Most narcissists will cheat on anyone they’re with, especially when the relationship or marriage is already well-established.

It’s also crucial to understand that being cheated on by a narcissist doesn’t mean that you’re less intelligent than they are.

Quite the contrary.

Narcissists often think they’re cleverer than their partners and that they can get away with cheating. Underestimating their partners is how they make mistakes and get caught.

Now, confronting a narcissist cheater may not go the way you imagine.

When a narcissist is caught cheating and lying, they often make up a heap of more lies to convince you that they’ve been nothing but faithful. Even if you have evidence of cheating, they’re likely to deny everything and even project their infidelity onto you.

Getting angry and gaslighting you may also be their response.

But what happens when they can no longer deny the evidence? What if you catch them in the act?

Then they might blame you for their cheating.

They may think of a dozen reasons why it was allegedly your behavior that made them seek attention outside your relationship or marriage. Narcissists will say anything to turn the focus away from them and blame it on someone else.

Related Reading: What Revenge Tactics You Can Expect from a Narcissist

Takeaway

If you can, try to talk with your partner

These narcissist cheating signs may not always indicate an affair. But if your partner displays those signs, you should have an honest talk with them to try and find out the reasons for their behavior. The way they respond when you confront them should tell you if they’ve been faithful or not.

If you want to work on your relationship, you should see a mental health professional or a relationship counselor to sort things out, especially if the relationship is not an abusive one.

But even if they haven’t been cheating, you may be better off without them. You deserve a loving, caring, and loyal partner who respects you and makes you happy.

Signs of infidelity or how to live with a narcissist.

FIVE SIGNS OF MALE CHEATING
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"Don't get into our love triangle - there are seven of us anyway" 😆
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It would be funny if it weren't so sad. According to statistics, 86% of women face male infidelity in their lives 😒Signs that may indicate that indeed, an extra angle has appeared in a couple:
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⚖️ TIRED AT WORK
He comes home exhausted, detached, does not want to, as before , talk to you. When you ask "What happened?" Nothing, just tired. And so day after day. A reason to be wary if this fatigue has become sudden. nine0003 ⠀
⚖️ BECOME PICKING
If he compares you with his new passion, then, definitely, the comparison will be in her favor😕 if only because he has not yet had time to know her to the end, and everything became clear with you from and to, for last 15 years. And now he already sees flaws in you and finds fault from scratch: she left the cup in the sink, put on too bright makeup, stayed at work. Has he often complained to you? Attack is the best defense.
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⚖️PASSWORDS APPEARED
Previously, his phone was on the table, and you could easily take it, but now he hides it, just like his death? In a bag, a bag in a duck, a duck in a hare and all this under passwords, codes, fingerprints ... perhaps worth thinking about😔
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⚖️ CONSTANTLY MISSING
Closes in the toilet for 45 minutes. Leaves to walk the dog for 2 hours instead of 30 minutes. He stays late at work every day, citing overtime. On weekends he hangs out with friends, but he doesn’t take you with him. All this is suspicious 🙄
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⚖️NEW HABITS
Suddenly signed up for the gym. Suddenly quit smoking, suddenly grew a beard. Suddenly he began to play the guitar again, as in his student days, and in general he suddenly became more confident in himself. I began to carefully monitor my appearance and use a new perfume. Of course, such changes are for the better, but it is worthwhile to figure out what (or who?) caused them? 🤔
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One of the favorite methods of the narcissist is triangulation, or in other words, the love triangle. Hearing this term, the victims usually represent as one of the sides of the triangle the partners who came to replace them, but this is not always the case. Narcissists use triangulation all the time to validate their own worth and to keep you in a state of excruciating uncertainty. To do this, they use anything and anyone:
🔱 Your family members;
🔱 Family members; nine0003 🔱your friends;
🔱My friends;
🔱 Former partners;
🔱Potential future partners;
🔱Total strangers.
🔱Cat, dog, job...
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Narcissists create situations in which you are forced to be jealous and doubt their loyalty. In normal relationships, people are looking for an opportunity to prove they are trustworthy, while narcissists do exactly the opposite. They constantly hint that they have other options or spend time with other people on purpose to keep you in constant anxiety. And they will always deny it, calling you crazy to keep you insecure. nine0003 ⠀
The problem is that during the seduction stage you are used to increased attention paid to yourself, so you feel very strange and confused when they shift the focus of attention to other people. Narcissists know this. They “forget” about joint plans and prefer to spend a few days with friends who are forced to listen to their complaints about you. They will ignore you in order to spend more time with their family, which at first was said to be terrible people, they will seek sympathy from former partners, explaining this by the fact that they are connected by ties of a special friendship that you cannot understand. And often—if not always! - they characterize previous partners as crazy and heartless. Seeking attention, sympathy, and comfort from strangers behind your back is a very common tactic of narcissists. nine0003 ⠀
You, as an empathic person, a constant partner, rightfully believe that you can give him the necessary comfort. You used to always help him, so what has changed now? Once he said that he was crushed by circumstances, and you literally revived him to life.

But now he's back to his "special friendship," his past relationship, because there's something you can't understand. At the same time, he cannot do otherwise than by poking you into it with his nose.
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Let's move on to the next topic - social networks. nine0003 ⠀
Modern technology makes it easier for narcissists to manipulate through triangulation. It can be as simple as expressing sympathy or liking a comment from a previous partner, while ignoring your feelings. They will “accidentally” post photos on their page with a previous partner, whom they previously remembered only with hatred. It would seem that they act unintentionally and you attribute their actions to their tactlessness, but make no mistake: tricks are carefully calculated. They will post ambiguous statuses, songs, videos that hint that you might "lose" their love. They share links that will supposedly lure new and old victims into their network. They kill two birds with one stone at the same time. With one shot, they hit two targets: destroy your personality and lure other victims. nine0003 On the one hand, this is a painful prick to you, on the other hand, the misdeeds of narcissists are so insignificant that you will look like an inadequate jealous psycho if you mention your discontent. They will always justify themselves in everything, while you will find yourself to blame. Covert violence is impossible to prove because it is always carefully camouflaged. You can't say that he is pinging his ex-partners by posting some songs on his profile, but intuitively you feel it. This is how they work to shake our psyches. Let's be honest: complaints about statuses and comments on social networks look frivolous. This is exactly what the narcissist wants: to put you in a stupid position. nine0003 ⠀
Narcissists are also great at surrounding themselves with generous but insecure people whose self-esteem is raised by caring for others. Your investments over time will be assessed as insignificant, opinions about you will change in the course of the relationship. Narcissists demonstratively begin to sympathize with others for qualities that you do not have, sometimes even for the exact opposite of yours.

Their purpose is simple: to let you know that you are no longer "special" to him. You are replaceable. If you don't give him the honors he deserves, he will always get them from other people. And even if you become a source of positive emotions for him, they will still bother him over time. He doesn't need you. Fans of a new round of narcissistic play will look into his mouth and admire him, making you believe that he must be a truly unique person. However, take a closer look around. You will notice that they all seem to look smaller than him. nine0003 ⠀
The final triangulation occurs when the narcissist decides to leave you. A sign of readiness to break up is talking about how upsetting the connection with you causes him, and that he is not sure that he will be able to cope with this in the future. He may mention that he talked with his close friend about your relationship in great detail, and that they both came to the conclusion that this relationship is dysfunctional. At the same time, he brazenly ignores your desperate attempts to discuss everything. You will puzzle over why he does not want to talk to you about his concerns, because your relationship is primarily about the two of you. nine0003 ⠀
The reason, in fact, is that he has already decided to leave you, and now he is simply mocking you. He "consults" only with those people with whom he has the same points of view. And the "friend" with whom he discusses you is most likely slated as the next victim.
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After a breakup, he will openly brag about his "happiness" with a new partner, while most normal people in this situation would feel very uncomfortable and tried to hide the fact that they started a new relationship so quickly after breaking up. Even more surprising is that he seems to be waiting for you to be happy for him. Otherwise, you are just an embittered and envious person. nine0003 ⠀
The period of "dance on the bones" begins. If you humiliate yourself in front of a narcissist or beg him to come back, then most likely he is satisfied with the emotional display of attention in his address. He may feel contempt and triumph at the same time watching your behavior.

If you persist in trying to bring him to clean water, he will try everything to drive you to suicide. Even if later you return to him with remorse, he will hate you, because once you spoke to him quite harshly. You saw too clearly the muzzle of a predator under the mask of a human face. nine0003 ⠀
That is why he constantly looms in front of you in the photos posted on the network, embracing with his new partner, publicly demonstrating his unearthly happiness. To prove their own well-being and impeccability. This is his latest attempt to drive you crazy with triangulation. So that you blame the new victim for everything, and not the true offender.
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Former partners who continue to feel attachment to the narcissist and remain "friends" with them do not understand that they have become puppets controlled by him. On the contrary, it seems to them that they are carrying out some high mission, fulfilling a friendly duty, expressing their readiness to always come to the rescue. What they don't realize is that the narcissist keeps them close to him to entertain him when he gets bored. They do not notice that they are involved in numerous confrontations, not because friendship with a narcissist is something special and exceptional, but because the narcissist deliberately creates dramatic situations. They do this under the delusion that their friendship with the narcissist is some kind of special, unique, and rare relationship. But in fact, they are simply used for triangulation. nine0023

🔱1. He surrounds you with declarations of love and compliments.
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It seems to you that this is the perfect partner for you.
When you first meet a narcissist, things move quickly. He inspires you that you have a lot in common, that you are perfect for each other. Like a chameleon, it reflects your hopes, dreams, fears to form trusting and exciting relationships. He constantly wants to communicate with you and seems to be completely fascinated by you. Your social media wall will be littered with songs, compliments, poems, and cute jokes that only the two of you can understand. nine0003 ⠀
🔱2. He hunts for your emotions by telling compassionate stories.
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You will quickly find a place in your heart to pity him. Because he's so sweet and innocent. Completely different from the cinematic images of psychopaths - cruel men with a contemptuous smile in an expensive car. Surely he will mention his ex, who is still in love with him. But all he wants is peace and quiet, he hates drama. However, you will soon notice that dramatic stories constantly surround him and people close to him. nine0003 ⠀
🔱3. It involves you in a love triangle.
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After you are hooked, you will fall into a love triangle and even a polygon. The narcissist will surround himself with former and potential lovers and anyone who pays attention to him. There will be former ones that he told you about before and assured you that you are superior to them in everything. You will feel embarrassed, and you will get the impression that he is always in demand from the opposite sex.
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🔱4. He constantly distorts reality and behaves abnormally. nine0003 ⠀
The narcissist always denies that he is manipulating you and ignores even the actual evidence of this. He reacts critically and dismissively if you try to disprove his tales with facts. He will shift the blame for the situation on you: you are too impressionable and inadequately perceive the situation. He will convince you that the problem is not with him, but with your incorrect reaction to normal events.

🔱5. He accuses you of the emotions that he himself provokes.
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Narcissist will say that you are too jealous, although you openly flirted with your ex, often even on social networks, for everyone to see. He will say that you are too clingy, although he deliberately ignored you for several days. He provokes your reaction in order to show his other targets how hysterical you are and to evoke sympathy for himself. Do you think you are a calm person? Meeting a narcissist will change you beyond recognition. Fortunately, temporarily. nine0003 ⠀
🔱6. You notice pathological lies and excuses.
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He always has an excuse, even in situations where it is not required. He comes up with another lie faster than you can ask a question. He constantly blames others, but he himself is always at fault. He spends time inventing explanations for his behavior rather than improving it. Even when caught in an outright lie, he does not express remorse or embarrassment. Sometimes it seems like he wanted you to catch him.
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🔱7. He provokes jealousy and rivalry while maintaining a mask of innocence. nine0003 ⠀
At first, the narcissist's attention is on you. And you don't understand what happens when he suddenly switches to another person. He constantly does things that make you doubt that you mean anything to him. If he is active in social networks, then he lures the former with songs, photos, jokes that were significant for their couple. He seems to be actively looking for a partner and at the same time ignores you.
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🔱8. It holds your attention and undermines your self-esteem.
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At first he showers you with a debilitating stream of admiration, and then he becomes uninterested in you. It hurts you, because you are already on fire with this passionate relationship. And now you feel like a housekeeper with him and nothing more.
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🔱9. The narcissist is selfish and demands relentless attention.
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He sucked all the energy out of you and filled your whole life with himself. He demands constant worship of himself. You thought that you were the only person capable of making him happy, but now you understand that anyone with a beating pulse is suitable for this role. But the truth is that no one can fill the void in the soul of a narcissist. nine0023

🔱10. You don't recognize yourself.

Your love and compassion has turned into overwhelming panic and anxiety. You apologize and cry more than you ever have in your life. You sleep poorly and wake up in a bad and anxious mood. You cannot understand what happened to you, where is this cheerful, laid-back, calm person now? After communicating with a narcissist, you feel exhausted, devastated and deprived of an adequate perception of the world. Life rolls upside down: you spend money, break ties with friends and loved ones, and constantly look for the reason for these actions. nine0003 ⠀
Relationship with a narcissist is a black hole. No matter how much it hurts, you will always be to blame for everything. He ignores your best qualities, and self-doubt grows in you, you change beyond recognition. You will heal the traumas of these relationships for a long time, it will seem to you that everything will never be fine with you.
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But you can put your nerves in order. First of all, exclude all contacts with the narcissist: correspondence, letters, and even “spying” on him in social networks. At first, it will be unbearably difficult for you, but relief will come with time. You will feel that sanity is returning to you and chaos is leaving your life. This experience may even be useful in the end. You will learn to value yourself and set boundaries for narcissists so they never disturb your peace again. nine0023

Unexpected gifts and other signs of narcissists that often cheat in relationships | Lifestyle

If your partner has cheated on you before, there is a chance that he will cheat on you again. Even if you say that you will not tolerate deception, it is a waste of time. The best protection against intrigues is communication and frank conversations. Be patient and let your spouse tell you about his attraction.

Do not worry or be upset, otherwise he will keep his desires secret. An attraction that the two of you can laugh at is much less dangerous than a secret relationship. nine0023

Who is a narcissist?

A person with great charm who says exactly what you want to hear can be dishonest and narcissistic. Narcissists are highly manipulative and have an inability to empathize.

A person with a narcissistic personality lacks impulse control and a sense of responsibility. A boastful attitude can hide a very wounded soul, along with alcohol, drugs, or gambling.

Emotionally these people get stuck in the narcissistic stage that children go through at about two years of age. So you're dealing with an emotional two-year-old in an adult body. nine0023

Why is this happening?

Narcissists have an "instant gratification" mentality. When they cheat, they just do it to "feel good" and don't seem to be able to control their behavior at the moment.

They do not think about future problems when they enter into a relationship with another person, masking emotional pain. It often seems that starting a romance is easier than solving family problems.

It's easy to start an affair online or at the office, especially if your spouse is not happy with the relationship. It often seems that it is easier for an unsatisfied partner to transfer their affection to someone else than to take emotional risks and talk about their problems. However, this is a myth. It turns out that most marital problems aren't that hard to fix, but cheating is emotionally devastating for everyone. nine0023

So, if you must know the signs of narcissists who often cheat in relationships.

1. Unexpected gifts

Your man has never thought about flowers before, but now he regularly brings bouquets home. This happens for no reason, despite the fact that romance has long disappeared in your relationship. He probably gifts you for a reason, but in order to drown out his own guilt.

2. Daily habits

Your spouse, who was always home on time, suddenly comes home late. Maybe he stops answering his calls or starts dressing better. Such a change in daily habits should give you the idea that he is cheating.

3. Additional accounts

Does your partner spend more money than usual? Unknown credit card payments are often a clue to those who suspect a partner of cheating. It is possible that these random spending will bring him to clean water. nine0023

4. Talking about work

If your spouse has spoken extensively about his work and now doesn't, it's time to find out the truth. If every time he tries to find out what's going on at work, he avoids answering, this may be a sign of infidelity. Try to find out the truth from his colleagues or other people.

5. Romance

If you used to spend a lot of time together, but now you have moved away from each other, this is another warning sign. Your partner probably prefers getting his needs met elsewhere. If a man, on the contrary, becomes more demanding and forces you to give him more time and attention, this, oddly enough, can also be a manifestation of treason. nine0023

6. Hides the phone or computer

Does your partner seem hesitant to show you his phone or computer? Most likely, he hides the consequences of betrayal or romance and is afraid of being noticed. This is especially strange if it used to let you use devices at any time.

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