Fastest way to get rid of anxiety

How to Ease Your Anxiety

Everyone feels anxious from time to time. Occasional anxiety is a normal reaction to uncertainty about what’s going to happen next, whether that’s in the next few minutes, days, or months.

Mental health experts define anxiety as worry over a threat that’s still in your future. Thinking about a conversation you dread, for example, could twist your stomach into knots days before it happens. Your heart may race before an exam or presentation. You might lie awake at night worried about whether you’ll catch COVID-19 at the grocery store.

It’s also normal to want to get rid of those uncomfortable, pit-of-the-stomach feelings as quickly as possible. But that approach can make you more anxious, says David H. Rosmarin, PhD, associate professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School in Boston.

“When you worry about getting rid of your anxiety, you’re signaling your nervous system that you have even more to be anxious about. And that makes your anxiety worse,” he says.

Keep in mind that if your anxiety is long-lasting and interferes with your daily life, you could have an anxiety disorder. In that case, you may need treatment to overcome it.

Calm Anxiety by Accepting It

It’s not what people expect to hear. But one of the most effective ways to ease occasional anxiety is to accept it, says Rosmarin, who is also founder of the Center for Anxiety in New York City.

“When we let anxiety run its course in the moment without fighting it, ironically, that makes it less. On the other hand, fighting anxiety is what typically [triggers] a panic attack,” he says.

“And, if your only strategy is to distract yourself from your anxiety or to avoid things that cause it, you’ll always be afraid of it. It’s always going to be the bully in the schoolyard because you’ve never learned to deal with it.”

The Anxiety and Depression Association of America puts it this way: “The thoughts you resist persist.”

Try these steps instead:

Recognize and understand your anxiety: Tell yourself, “My nervous system is kicking into high gear because I’m worried about [thing X]. ”

Don’t criticize yourself for those feelings: Instead, say, “This is a normal, healthy response by my body to these circumstances, which are complicated, stressful, or difficult. It’s OK to feel this way.”

Know that you can have anxiety and still function well: “You can perform very well with anxiety, and probably have done so before,” Rosmarin says.

Think back to a time when you were anxious but did what you needed to do anyway. Maybe you were filled with anxiety before an event or a meeting. But later, someone said you did a great job.

How to Stop Anxiety

When your anxiety feels overwhelming, these techniques can give you quick, short-term relief.

Do a reality check: Ask yourself these questions:

On scale of 1 to 100, how likely is it that the thing I’m anxious about will happen?
Do I have good reasons to think something will go wrong?
Is there a chance I’m overly worried?

Share your anxiety with someone you trust: Don’t avoid your anxious thoughts, which can make them worse. Talk them over with a friend or family member, who can help you put them in perspective.

Remind yourself that you’re safe: “When anxiety kicks in you may feel scared or out of control, with your mind racing to all these uncertain future catastrophes,” says clinical psychologist Debra Kissen, PhD, chief executive officer of Light On Anxiety CBT Treatment Centers in the Chicago area.

“Ask yourself, ‘Is there a real danger in front of me, or am I actually safe at home and worried about something that’s no threat to me right now?’” she says. “This thinking can ground you in the moment and reboot your brain and body so you feel less anxious.”

Redirect nervous energy: Anxiety can be like a motor revving, says licensed professional counselor Lisa Henderson. “Take control of that energy and put it somewhere else,” says Henderson, co-founder and chief executive officer of Synchronous Health in Nashville.

“If you’re sitting there worried, for example, get up and walk or pace,” she says. “Take a few minutes to clean something. Go outside for 5 minutes. Shorts bursts of activity can release that anxious energy.”

Take a mental break: “Use a guided imagery app or simply daydream on your own,” Henderson says. “A brief mental vacation can break the cycle of anxious thoughts.”

To try this on your own, set a timer for a few minutes, close your eyes, and picture yourself somewhere you feel peaceful or happy.

“Just letting your mind wander can work well if your anxiety comes from feeling controlled or managed,” Henderson says. “If your mind returns to its anxious thoughts, notice -- without judgment -- that it’s happened and mentally tell your anxiety ‘I’ll be with you in a moment.’ Then go back to your daydream.”

You may prefer an app that guides you through your thoughts to help you release anxiety. Find relaxation or meditation apps that appeal to you and give them try.

Just breathe: Inhale and exhale slowly, evenly, and deeply for several breaths.

Change your position: “Whatever you’re doing, do the opposite,” Kissen says. “If you’re hunched over with worry, stand up and take a Wonder Woman pose. If you’re under a blanket, go wash your face with cold water. Changing your sensory experience can ‘change the channel’ from anxiety.”

Use a mantra: A mantra can shift your mind away from anxious thoughts that play over and over in your head, Kissen says.

Two she likes are: “These thoughts are uncomfortable, but not dangerous,” and “This, too, will pass.”

Put your anxiety on a schedule: Pick a 15-minute window during the day to think about your anxieties. “During that time, tell your brain to just go for it and let the anxious thoughts come,” Kissen says. “But when they arise outside that time, tell them ‘I’m willing to hear you, but come back tomorrow at 3 p.m.’”

If anxiety keeps you awake, get up: “If you’re lying in bed worrying about things for more than 5 minutes, get up and go to another room and write down your anxieties,” Kissen says. “Go back to bed when you’re tired, but get up again if you feel anxious. It might take a few nights of going back and forth, but this exercise can train your brain that your bed is for sleep, not for anxiety.”

Do I Need Treatment for Anxiety?

There’s a lot you can do on your own to relieve anxiety, but sometimes you need help. Psychotherapy and medication are the two main treatments for anxiety disorders.

Signs that it’s time to talk to a mental health professional include:

Constant or nearly constant anxiety
Anxiety that gets in the way of your daily activities, like work or social life
Anxiety about things that don’t actually threaten you
Panic attacks

Check your health insurance policy to see what mental health services your plan covers. Then, review a list of your in-network providers to find one to connect with.

“You don’t want to add to your anxiety by paying big out-of-pocket fees,” Kissen says.

Your primary care doctor may also be able to recommend a mental health professional with experience treating anxiety and anxiety disorders.

Rosmarin notes that it’s important to find a provider you click with and trust. He also says therapy doesn’t need to go on indefinitely to be effective.

“A course of cognitive behavioral therapy for anxiety may be eight to 10 sessions,” he says. “There’s also data to suggest that people feel substantially better after just one therapy session for panic disorder.”

21 Quick Tips to Change Your Anxiety Forever

Source: Kalen Emsley/Unsplash

You can read all the anti-anxiety advice in the world, but none of it matters unless you take action. To feel more relaxed, to sleep soundly at night, and to put energy into what matters, you have to stop wasting time on tasks that don't matter.

By the end of this post, your life could become infinitely more productive and Zen-like. Your part is to commit to 15-60 minutes per day and tackle a few of the following 21 anxiety busters below.

The more you commit, the better you'll feel.

You're probably familiar with some of these anxiety-busting strategies. But if you experience racing thoughts, tightening in your chest, and shortness of breath, you haven't done all of them.

21 Anxiety Busters

1. Start deep-breathing.
If you're not focused on how to calm your body through slow, intentional belly-breathing, you're missing out. Belly-breathing is free, location independent, and easy to implement. Here's how to get started:

Sit with your eyes closed and turn your attention to your breathing. Breathe naturally, preferably through the nostrils, without attempting to control your breath.
Be aware of the sensation of the breath as it enters and leaves the nostrils. Place one hand on your belly, and the other on your chest. Take a deep breath for a count of four. Hold your breath for a count of three. Exhale for a count of four. The hand on your belly should go in as you inhale, and move out as you exhale.
Concentrate on your breath and forget everything else. Your mind will be very busy, and you may even feel that the meditation is making your mind busier, but the reality is you're just becoming more aware of how busy your mind is.
Resist the temptation to follow the different thoughts as they arise, and focus on the sensation of the breath. If you discover that your mind has wandered and is following your thoughts, immediately return it to the breath.
Repeat this as many times as necessary until your mind settles on the breath. Don't wait to begin belly-breathing. The sooner you make this a daily habit, the quicker you'll feel relaxed.

When you implement belly breathing, you start the day in a here-and-now state. Better yet, you're not wasting time worrying about the future or reliving the past.

2. Meditate.

Calm is an inside job. Give yourself the gift of serenity and start the day with 10 minutes of solitude and positive energy. Think calm, measured, and open-minded, and your daily activities will correspond.

3. Practice self-care.

Get a massage, a mani-pedi, or a haircut. Nothing says polished and well-maintained like a sexy, healthy glow.

If money is tight, look for a discount salon or a training school which offers quality services for people on a budget. So they don't serve peppermint tea on a silver tray—close your eyes and imagine that five-star service while you take in the pampering you deserve.

4. Eliminate soda.

That morning jolt of joe can jumpstart your day and provide warmth and comfort, but anything with high-fructose corn syrup and 177 other ingredients will not.

If you're accustomed to that 3 p.m. Dr. Pepper, switch it out for a soothing green tea. Not only does the caffeine jack up your central nervous system, but soda also depletes vitamins and minerals from your diet and wreaks havoc on your smile. Teeth become susceptible to cavities when the acid level of your saliva falls below a certain point.

If you drink soda all day, the outer layers of your teeth begin to lose minerals and cavities form. Many dental plans do not cover root canals, and you'll end up with a huge bill. Speaking of which...

5. Trim the fat from your budget.

Financial stress is a common reason people contact me for psychotherapy. Debt will keep you up at night and contribute to feelings of low self-worth and hopelessness.

Take charge of your finances and stop spending on non-essentials.

Track your daily expenses for a week or two and decide where you can cut back. Notice the items you accumulate mindlessly.

Possible eliminations:

Switch out your cable TV for Netflix.
Contact your car insurance carrier, your mobile device company, or your credit card company and ask if they'll reduce your bill.
Cancel your newspaper delivery during the week and opt for the Sunday paper or an online service instead.

6. Get rid of the clutter.

Do you ever wonder how much time is lost when you can't find your car keys or that package of Epson 400 color ink?

Chances are you've got too much stuff clogging up your living space.

Try this quick organization hack:

Choose a drawer, cabinet, or closet.
Categorize the stuff you don't use.
Make three piles for a) Items to throw away, b) Items to donate, and c) Items to sell.

Hold a yard sale and use the money to...

7. Plan a day trip.

When you spend time in nature, you give your mind and body a much-needed break from the hustle and bustle which causes you to Google things like "How to get rid of anxiety" in the first place.

Chances are, no matter where you live, there's a serene, interesting, and charming place within a couple of hours.

8. Go to bed early.

This may sound impossible if you're accustomed to staying up late to catch up on the to-do list. But this one's a must.

Sleep deprivation is a huge anxiety culprit. Inadequate shuteye can amplify the brain's anticipatory reactions, upping overall anxiety levels, according to research.

"We all have anticipatory anxiety," explains researcher Fugen Neziroglu. "Having moderate levels of anxiety about doing well is important. But it can be destructive when it begins to interfere with your life." It's impossible to have healthy emotional functioning without adequate sleep.

Don't burn the midnight oil in hopes of catching up on the weekends. Unused sleep minutes don't roll over.

9. Wake up 15 minutes early.

Like most anxious people, you're probably rushing around in the morning and yelling at everyone in your wake, "Hurry up! We're going to be late!"

Go slowly, and set yourself up for a relaxed day ahead. If you start to worry about the to-do list, take a deep breath and think: There is enough time.

10. Get your lavender on!

Lavender oil has many healing properties and can be used as a natural remedy to reduce anxiety and other nervous conditions. There are many ways to incorporate lavender into your calm tool kit:

Add essential lavender oil to your bath water for a calming bath. Use water infused with lavender leaves to soothe painful joints and muscles.
Fall asleep quicker when you add a few drops to a tissue and place under your pillow.
Use lavender in an oil diffuser to help with insomnia. The sweet, woody smell of the lavender oil helps you to fall asleep and stay asleep.
For headaches, apply lavender oil to a cotton ball or your fingertips and massage slowly into your temples. The smell will relax you as the oil eases your headache.
Lavender is used in aromatherapy massage as a muscle relaxant. Massage the oil into the skin and unknot the muscles of the back and reduce spasms.
Lavender can be used as an expectorant. It breaks up the mucus from nasal and chest congestion that accompanies a cold.
Inhale lavender oil to help with pain management, especially after a workout, a therapy session, or surgery.

11. Reduce caffeine, sugar, and processed foods.

Caffeine can cause heart palpitations if you ingest too much. Caffeine also can trigger panic or anxiety attacks, especially if you have an anxiety disorder. Hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar, can also cause palpitations.

Sugar acts as an adrenal stimulant and can cause anxiety or even panic attacks. Other offensive foods include those containing refined flour products and even wheat, since this causes inflammation.

Besides caffeine and sugar, food allergies are a big contributing factor in your overactive central nervous system. Do this step along with #12...

12. Go green!

Diet affects anxiety. A morning glass of green juice can get you on the right side of calm.

For a different and delicious way to get your daily vegetables, try this recipe: Combine one banana or green apple, a bunch of kale, sliced ginger, one lime, cucumber slices, a few ice cubes, and a cup of water to a blender or juicer. For additional protein, add an egg, yogurt, nuts, or protein powder.

13. Know that feelings are not facts.

One of the hardest jobs of a psychotherapist is to convince your anxious client that the feelings of low self-worth, guilt, and shame are not accurate. Negative thoughts cause negative feelings. This one's tricky, because many of our negative thoughts are automatic, deeply internalized, and rooted in the unconscious.

Do this in tandem with #14...

14. Challenge negative core beliefs.

Remember that thoughts precede feelings. Negative thoughts lead to negative emotions, which lead to negative behaviors. For example:

Jocelyn wakes up and immediately thinks: I'm gonna blow the PowerPoint presentation today. I just want to stay in bed all day.
She feels unmotivated, nervous, and sluggish.
She yells at her kids when they don't dress quickly enough.

How to challenge your negative mood:

1. Record your thoughts periodically. Pay attention to when you feel stressed out.

2. Write the feelings that accompany the thoughts. Think one-word responses, like frustrated, angry, worthless, defeated, etc.

3. Challenge your current version of reality. This is hard, because we tend to lack objectivity about the truth. Is there proof you don't deserve that job promotion? Were you written up because of shoddy work performance?

If you commit to recording your daily thoughts and feelings, along with reality testing, you'll see that many of your negative feelings are created in your mind and not based on reality. The good news is you created the negative thought, and you can uncreate it.

15. Practice gratitude.

As bad as your situation is, there's always someone in a worse predicament. Read a chapter of Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, or check out the headline of the daily newspaper. Be thankful your life is not the feature story.

Make a mental note of the positive things in your life. Remember that everything in life is temporary—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

16. Get some accountability.

If you're BFF with Nervous Nellie or Anxious Allen, put your keyed-up energy to good use. Vow to work on healthier ways to cope when feeling stressed.

How to get your accountability on:

Share this resource with a friend.
Pick a few strategies that resonate with both of you.
Make a plan to call each other out when you stray.
Give praise when you make positive changes.
Start a Facebook group and post regular tips to decrease stress and anxiety.

17. Attend a social gathering (even if you don't want to).

If you're prone to social anxiety, it's important to make time for socialization. It's cool to be an introvert, but know that we live in a universe that revolves around connecting with others.

18. Schedule a physical exam to rule out a medical condition for your anxiety.

If your anxiety has spiked recently, or if you were previously able to cope with life, and now not so much, your doctor can determine if there's a medical condition responsible for your anxiety. Ask for a blood panel, and be honest about your symptoms.

19. Schedule a visit with a therapist.

Nobody deserves to feel bad. A qualified mental health professional is your best bet if your anxiety is unbearable.

Ask a trusted friend or colleague for a referral, or use the Psychology Today directory to find a therapist in your area.

20. Exercise, exercise, exercise!

Exercise is nature's anti-anxiety remedy. Besides clearing the mind, firing up the endorphins, and helping you sleep soundly at night, researchers have found that individuals who exercise vigorously and regularly were 25 percent less likely to develop an anxiety disorder within five years.

21. Accept your anxiety.

Whether you inherited "anxiety genes" from your parents, or it's your lifestyle, or both, accept your anxiety.

It's not about rolling over and giving up. Understand you have to work hard every day to bring calm to your environment.

Remember there are always options in life, and worse fates exist than being anxious. After all, when push comes to shove, at the end of the (stressed-out) day, anxious people get the job done!

The key to making the actions above work is consistency. You're the expert on your life. Choose the ones that work best for you, and give 'em a shot. For additional support to manage your anxiety so it doesn't manage you, check out Holistic Healing for Anxiety: A four-week online course.

See you on the calm side!

Facebook Image: Alliance Images/Shutterstock

9 ways to deal with anxiety

Something constantly worries us - so constantly that we are used to existing in this state and not even suspect that we are preventing ourselves from living the way we want. Unfortunately, you cannot completely get rid of anxiety, especially in a constantly rushing world, but you can reduce its intensity on your own.

Re-read Tanya Peterson's book Inner Peace. 101 Ways to Cope with Anxiety, Fear and Panic Attacks" and selected some practical tips for dealing with strong feelings.

Tanya Peterson

Mann, Ivanov & Ferber, 2020

How to identify anxiety

It should be said right away that anxiety is a completely normal condition that performs a very important function of alerting us to a possible danger. And everything would be fine, but a modern person is not so often threatened by something in the literal sense, however, it seems that there are only more triggers. So anxiety becomes more of a problem than a survival helper. It leads to emotional burnout, chronic stress and constant fatigue, due to which we cannot function fully.

There are several symptoms that can tell you how anxious you are lately:

I can't stop thinking about what has already happened.
I am worried about what will happen in the future, I am equally worried about tomorrow and what will happen in a few years.
I feel tired, but I am constantly in a state of agitation.
I often “turn off” and cannot continue to work.
I have obsessive thoughts.
I have few obvious things to worry about.
I try to avoid people and certain places.
I feel like I'm at a dead end.
I'm trying to get rid of my anxiety, but it won't go away.
My relationships with people, work and myself are suffering.

If you've been experiencing any of these symptoms for a long time, it might be time to slow down a bit and pay more attention to yourself, your mental health, and lifestyle changes that can help reduce your stress levels.

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We get rid of obsessive thoughts

We think that the more we think about the problem, the more likely we are to find a solution to it or prepare for possible unpleasant consequences. In fact, we do not help ourselves much when we think about what worries us very much. The level of anxiety rises, and even if you have a solution to the problem, this does not mean that you will instantly stop worrying. What to do in such a situation?

Exercise “I have a thought”

When we think about the subject of our anxiety, it is as if we are no longer in the present and are transported into the past or future. The exercise helps to return to reality and remind yourself that your experiences are just thoughts, albeit largely justified (but not always).

Think about what is bothering you and say: “I have an idea that tomorrow the conversation with management will not go very well. And this is just a thought” . Even better, say it out loud, and it will become easier for you to return to your previous affairs and not live with what has not yet happened or has already happened.

The question “What if?”

We are often visited by thoughts that can be formulated through one question: “What if?” What if we don't suit each other? What if the manager calls for a meeting in order to cut my salary? Such thoughts appear completely by chance, they cannot be controlled, since they are directly related to our experiences and fears. However, you can develop the habit of always finding an alternative.

Think of a new, positive response to each of your worrisome thoughts. For example, suppose that a meeting with superiors will lead to a promotion, and a possible tense conversation with a partner will end in agreement. It would be useful to treat this with a bit of humor and imagine a completely absurd outcome: for example, that the leader drops everything and moves to the North Pole, and leaves you in charge without explaining the reasons. By approaching anxiety with humor, you will change the vector of your thoughts and feel a little better.

Concentration on breathing

It's no secret that in our body all systems are connected to each other. If we are angry, the pulse quickens, if we are in a calm state, it slows down. Obsessive thoughts can make your head hurt, and prolonged inactivity will lead to muscle discomfort, which will cause your body to send signals to move with all its might.

Meanwhile, a conscious focus on breathing will have the opposite effect: if obsessive thoughts lead to rapid breathing, then calmness will relieve unnecessary stress. Your task is to slowly inhale and exhale, concentrating on this process. Think about how the chest fills with air and releases it. Repeat several times until breathing returns to normal.

Dealing with anxiety at work

As much as we love our job, it often comes with some level of stress, which is fine until anxiety starts to affect performance, focus, and relationships with colleagues. The most common cause of anxiety at work is the presence of someone “higher than us”, on whose opinion your performance, sense of self-worth, motivation and much more depend. However, there are methods that can help shift your focus and gain confidence.

Good Morning Ritual

Many would agree that almost the rest of the day depends on our getting up in the morning. Often, in fact, the reluctance to wake up and get out of bed is not laziness at all, but an alarm signal, since it may seem to you that something will definitely happen at work that will only confirm all the worst fears. When you get up with these thoughts in the morning, you reinforce certain behaviors that are completely unproductive. What can you do?

Clean your room the night before so you don't wake up in a stressful mess.
Place a glass of water next to the bed. When the alarm goes off, take a deep breath, stretch, sit down and drink all the water. Wait a while, listen to your body. This helps reduce anxiety.
Move from the bedroom to a purpose-built space. Sit quietly, mindfully observing the surroundings, sounds, and smells in the room. Appreciate how you feel while sitting in a chair. Do a short meditation focusing on the in-breath and out-breath.
Enjoy a decaffeinated cup of tea or coffee (caffeine tends to increase anxiety).
When you feel ready, get up slowly and continue to prepare for the day ahead.

Mantra of non-judgment

Condemnation of oneself and others leads to mental limitations, takes energy and resources, and also increases the level of anxiety. While the basis of any work on oneself is the acceptance of shortcomings and weaknesses, both one's own and others.

To stop the flow of restless thoughts in time, chant the mantra of non-judgment. Like affirmations, a mantra is a statement that reminds you of something important. Say to yourself: "Today I am not judging anyone or anything" or "My mind is open, my thoughts are neutral" . Come up with a mantra that will help you, and repeat it to yourself as often as possible so as not to dwell on condemnation.

Toxic perfectionist

Almost all of us have a small part that prevents us from enjoying life, because "everything is not perfect." Feeling anxiety from a sense of imperfection, you do not allow yourself to feel harmony and satisfaction from what you have done, which is why the desire for the ideal only increases. And along with it, the level of anxiety. This is an unpleasant vicious circle that can be broken by accepting your imperfection. You are already good enough, and the following exercise will help you see it:

Describe a time when perfectionism got in the way.
If you made a mistake, what then? Think and write as many possible consequences as possible - both positive and negative.
Study this list. If each of the consequences happened, how would you handle the failure?

If you think about the cause of anxiety, and not anxiety itself, you will learn to look at it from a new perspective, and also notice that, despite imperfections, you have actually already done a lot to make everything go well and with a minimum of mistakes.

Relationships are very important to us: we worry about what people close to us think of us, play different roles when communicating with colleagues or friends, because this way we are more likely to win favor. Whether we like it or not, we need to communicate with people at least occasionally, which can be a cause for concern for many of us. While there are plenty of opportunities around us to enjoy communication rather than diligently avoiding it. There are several simple exercises that will help, if not get rid of anxiety, then at least reduce it to an acceptable level.

List of positive things

Experiences make us think about the most negative consequences of communication and completely forget about what good happened between you and, let's say, your partner. To remember the pleasant, make a list for yourself of a variety of moments when you were happy.

If this is a problem, then your level of anxiety may not allow you to really enjoy the fact that you spend time with this or that person. A list can also help here, but now the positive points that you need to create with your own hands. For example:

Treat a close friend for coffee and spend time with him.
Create a shared playlist with friends or family.
Find someone to go to trade shows, the gym, or go for a daily morning run with.

After that, start putting into practice situations in which you think you will be happy. And try to live in this moment, and not the anxiety that something will definitely not go according to plan.

Careful attitude towards oneself and others

We are all worried - just someone to a greater extent, and someone to a lesser extent. Nevertheless, there are plenty of reasons for anxiety, self-doubt and the feeling that we will eventually be abandoned, each of us has plenty. Just a reminder of this brings you back to reality and confirms the fact that you are not at all alone in your anxiety.

What should I do in this case? Mantras that will be directed both at you and those around you can help you. Formulate for yourself life-affirming phrases that will remind you in moments of anxiety that your experiences are normal and familiar to everyone. For example:

I allow myself to be accepted as I am. / Let others accept themselves as they are.
I will allow myself to calmly accept my mistakes. / Let others take their mistakes calmly.
I will allow myself to rejoice at what I can do. / Let others rejoice in their achievements.

The list can be anything, as long as it reflects your worries.

Why do you need a relationship?

Anxiety often occurs because our expectations and needs are not being met. We can compromise and give in to another person as much as we like, but in the end, dissatisfaction will be stronger than anything else. Therefore, as soon as you catch yourself thinking that anxiety has unwittingly become your new partner, think about how your needs are being met. Here is a list of the basic things we usually want from another person:

love, feeling needed;
partnerships;
power;
independence, freedom;
mutual support;
intimate relationships;
flexibility, ability to negotiate;
pleasure.

Ask a friend, acquaintance, or partner to make the same list, and then discuss the answers. Understanding what you and the other person need will give you more knowledge and opportunities for communication that will be enjoyable for everyone.

How to cope with anxiety: 7 ways to help ‹ GO Blog

Anxiety is an emotional state caused by the expectation of danger or threat. While fear is a basic human emotion associated with the instinct of self-preservation, and appears directly at the moment of danger.

The terms "fear" and "anxiety" are not synonymous, but they can be used interchangeably when it comes to situational anxiety (state at a given moment in time).

In the normal state, the self-preservation function encourages action, but there are also moments of apathy when anxiety intensifies.

We will tell you how to cope with anxiety on your own and determine its level in yourself.

Read more: "9 Proven Ways to Beat Procrastination"

How to Measure Anxiety

American psychologist Charles Spielberger studied more than 117 signs of human anxiety and created a scale to determine its level. His "assessment of the level of anxiety" is divided into situational and personal. Situational is responsible for the state at a given moment in time and the influence of external circumstances - for example, self-isolation. Personal - character of a person.

To determine “your level” of anxiety, you can take a test of 40 short questions.

What causes anxiety

The main factors that provoke increased anxiety in us are loneliness, problems at work, problems in relationships, health, environment and all sorts of conflicts.

Our lifestyle also has a great influence. For example, we are more likely to experience anxiety states if we are constantly on the phone or watching the news on TV. Digital progress has certainly made our life faster and better, but we pay for this comfort with an additional level of stress, new fears and complexes due to the large flow of news.

Try to minimize the number of hours spent on the Internet. Go outdoors, read, do yoga, cook, cross-stitch, build LEGOs – there are so many more options than you might think.

Stages of anxiety

– Waiting alarm. People who foresee the most unfavorable of all possible situations suffer. Such anxiety can appear at certain moments or haunt a person constantly.

– Anxiety in the form of phobias is associated with certain situations and objects. For example, fear of loneliness, spiders or darkness. May be a clinical case if expressed in the form of panic attacks.

- Neurotic anxiety. This form of anxiety is the most serious and is found in many psychological diseases: hysterical, schizoid. There is a pathological level of fear here that destroys a person's mental health.

The whole planet is now in fear of waiting due to the incessant flow of news and uncertainty. "Fear of waiting" or "free fear" is formed due to the information flow in which we are constantly immersed. The tools that help to cope with situational anxiety, which has no connection with clinical cases, will be described below.

False alarm

Feelings of fear are easily confused, so before we talk about how to get rid of anxiety, we will learn how to identify it.

There are situations when we do not distinguish between emotions, so the so-called "false alarm" is formed. In this case, the first thing psychologists can advise is to learn how to isolate anxiety from a large stream of other emotions. Observe for yourself - in what situations you are overcome by anxiety. Divide these situations into those in which anxiety is justified and those where it is not.

For example, you are on a bus and as you approach the bus stop, you are overtaken by a feeling of anxiety. On the one hand, this may be due to fear that you will miss your stop, or a sense of shame, as it is embarrassing to ask the driver to stop the car.

Or another example, you want to ask the teacher a question in class, but you are afraid to raise your hand. This fear may arise from self-doubt and the expectation that classmates will laugh at you.

Sometimes anxiety is born from some other feelings, such as shame or insecurity. Realizing this and overcoming it, you no longer have a reason for concern, and with it the state of anxiety disappears.

Read more: “How to stop being shy and get rid of the language barrier”

How to cope with anxiety

Details

Axiety often occurs due to uncertainty in actions and feelings. First, try to find out what causes anxiety. For example, you are worried about being fired from your job. Before you panic, look at the facts: look at the state of the market and the area in which your company operates, evaluate the workload at work now and predict the task plan for the next month. And this applies not only to work, but to any area in which you feel anxiety.

Usually this exercise helps to see the true picture. If you understand that while everything is under control, you can exhale, if not, proceed to your detailing. Write out a detailed plan of action that will help you avoid uncertainty and tell you how to act in any situation:

Write down what skills you have and where they can be useful. For example, being an illustrator or photoshop, having a driver's license and owning a car, copywriting skills, etc.
Edit your resume and prepare some cover letters to the employer about yourself.
Form your own range of services, from the most preferred activities to the least interesting.
Leave a list of potential employers to whom you can offer your services. The bigger, the better.
Write to them!

The work done will help you feel more confident and have a plan for coping with a crisis.

Sometimes anxiety arises from the belief that we will not be able to cope with this or that action. A visual picture of your skills will always help to believe in yourself. When you read your list, you will realize that you can achieve a lot, despite the circumstances.

Read also: “4 things on your resume that will help the employer to choose you”

Use exposure therapy

A complex combination of words with a simple meaning - a meeting with your problem "on the forehead. " It is important to understand that this is NOT a fight against a problem. The point is to acknowledge the existence of anxiety, not to get rid of it completely.

Don't ignore things that make you feel anxious. For example, to move up the career ladder, you need to learn English, but you haven’t opened your textbook for three days and you constantly scold yourself for it. This lowers your self-esteem and increases your anxiety about your success at work and in life.

Give yourself a full day of rest without worries and self-criticism. Imagine that this is an official vacation or vacation. And then gradually get down to business: you can start with one page of English text per day or a five-minute video. Gradually, you will accustom your body to the load and develop a habit.

Keep a sleep schedule

It is during sleep that growth hormone is produced, which is responsible for the restoration of our body, including the nervous system. Especially if we go to bed before 12 o'clock at night.

The BBC's Trust Me I'm a Doctor, in collaboration with the University of Oxford, did a little experiment on how sleep affects our psychological state. The study involved people who are distinguished by "strong sleep". During the experiment, the participants were given conditions: in the first three nights they had to sleep for 8 hours, which is the norm, and the next three nights - for 4 hours. Every day, the subjects answered questions that helped determine changes in their psychological state, behavior and emotions. The results showed that after two nights of sleep deprivation, negative emotions began to predominate in the subjects, as well as an increase in distrust of others and aggression.

The study also shows that insomnia is not always the result of mental disorders, sometimes it is lack of sleep that provokes the appearance of psychological problems.

Switch

It is important to periodically switch from one activity to another - for example, from physical activity to mental activity. So, when you go in for sports, there is a restoration of brain functions due to the supply of oxygen. And with mental stress, the muscular system is restored by improving blood flow in the muscles.

A simple alternation of work and study with a small amount of physical activity will improve the functioning of the body's metabolic processes, and at the same time accelerate the restoration of the nervous system, contributing to its strengthening.

Meditate and breathe

Meditation and breathing are sure helpers in overcoming psychological instability. A Johns Hopkins University study found a relationship between meditation practice and reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety. The team of researchers found that the effect of meditation is comparable to the effect of depressants - in this case, being a more useful solution to the problem, as it does not cause side effects. Meditation also helps to switch the work of the brain and focus on yourself, and not on the "noise" around.

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