Does he want more than sex
20 signs it’s more than physical for him (and what that means for you)
Purely physical relationships can be pretty great, honestly — if both parties want it.
But there is more to intimacy than just great sex.
While sometimes it’s easier for guys to initiate and sustain a relationship that’s entirely sexual, it’s not necessarily the only thing guys want. They might be looking for a different kind of relationship.
With that in mind, maybe your relationship is new or it’s been purely physical up to now.
But wait, you’re starting to catch feelings for him and you might be ready for something more serious. Now what?
Or perhaps you’re thinking the opposite and don’t want him to catch feelings. You like having a booty call, or friends with benefits, or whatever you’ve labeled it.
In any scenario, it’s valid to be wondering if he’s falling for you.
Yet, sometimes guys can be hard to read.
That’s why I want to run through 20 common signs that it’s more than physical for him. Then once you’ve figured out if it is more than physical, I’ll explain what comes next.
So, let’s get started:
20 signs it’s more than physical
Remember: regardless of the relationship’s nature, it’s important that both parties are on the same page.
1) You’re starting to get mixed signals
Guys sometimes start acting funny when they start to catch feelings for a girl.
They start second-guessing themselves because they’re not sure how to act anymore. They don’t want to give anything away but they also want to make some kind of move or give you a hint.
In a way, they want things to change, but they’re afraid for things to change. They don’t want to ruin an existing relationship with a girl. This is only compounded when they start to like that girl. (In this case, you.)
On the other hand, in a purely physical relationship, there’s not too much to be unsure about. You’re both sexually attracted to each other and you’re able to fulfill that need, then get on with things.
What I’m saying is there isn’t all that much mystery in a physical relationship.
So if you start getting mixed signals, it might be a sign that it’s more than physical for him.
You shouldn’t have to wait long before he is asking you out on a proper date.
Here are some surprising signs that a man is hiding his feelings from you.
2) He makes a point of making sure you’re satisfied
Men by and large aren’t the best at sexually satisfying women. They often aren’t interested in putting in that much effort. They lack the patience, finesse, or honestly the ability to care. Of course, that’s not always true.
It’s just, most of the time.
In a committed relationship, it might be different because the two of you have a deeper connection and desire to satisfy each other.
On the other hand, in a physical relationship only, the way you feel is going to be a lot lower on his priority list.
To put it another way, things are mutually beneficial, and that’s more than enough.
He knows that if you’re not satisfied sexually, there’s no reason for you to stay around, so he’ll tend to just take it as a given.
However, if you notice that he’s making it a point to satisfy you, asking questions about what you like in bed, giving you exactly what you need, and more, he might be starting to develop feelings.
In other words, if he’s going above and beyond to be exceptional in the bedroom (or the living room, or the kitchen, no judge) and give you more pleasure than the bare minimum, it’s a flag.
A flag that means he’s on his way to getting the feels. It’s more than physical for him because it’s about you. Your pleasure is just as important as his, if not more so.
3) Want specific relationship advice?
While this article explores the main signs that it’s more physical for him, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice that’s tailor-made for your life and your experiences…
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, such as this one.
They’re a very popular resource for people facing all sorts of love challenges.
How do I know?
Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through my own rough patch. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
I was blown away by how kind, caring, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get advice that’s duly suited for your situation.
Click here to get started.
4) He doesn’t just call it “sex”
The way your man refers to having sex with you can say a lot about how he feels about it. If he refers to it in a vulgar or casual way only, it’s a good hint that he looks at it the same way.
As a bit of a wordsmith, I have a good time using all kinds of words to describe sexual intercourse. So this sign isn’t always the most reliable.
However, his tone, the way he refers to your love-making, and how he references it can reveal a surprising amount about how he really feels.
Next time, pay attention to how he talks about having sex with you. If he’s using cutesy or fond language, it’s possible it’s starting to be more than physical for him.
Here some interesting things most men consider huge sexual turn-offs.
5) He likes real dates
What do I mean by “real” dates?
Well, let me tell you what I don’t mean:
- Staying in and watching movies.
- Grabbing late-night drinks and heading back to his place.
- Night drives to his “favorite place” for you know what.
- Any kind of activity where hooking up is the primary or only intent.
If the boy you’ve only been having sex with suddenly wants to take you to a sit-down dinner, heads up.
Or if the dude you keep around for those particularly lonely/horny nights suddenly invites you to an evening show, purely for the sake of spending time together, watch out.
He’s probably starting to get the hots for you and not just the physical kind, either.
It’s probably starting to be more than physical for him.
How about you?
Here are some hacks to help you understand his body language better to figure out if he’s in love with you.
6) He calls you just to talk
There’s a reason it’s called a “booty call.”
The only reason he has to contact you is because he wants to have sex. Or, vice versa, the only reason you text him is because you want to have sex.
So when he calls and really is only interested in asking how you’re doing, it’s a big indicator.
Why did he call at all? Just to check in, see how your day’s going, how you’re feeling? Did he miss your voice?
Here’s the reason he called: not because he wants to know when you’re down for the next sexual rendezvous but rather because he cares about you more than just physically.
7) He’s acting like an everyday hero
A dead giveaway that it’s more than physical for him is when he acts like an everyday hero around you.
Does he step up to the plate for you? Protect you in both little and big ways? Go out of his way to make sure you’re safe and happy?
Then you’ve definitely triggered his hero instinct.
If you haven’t heard of the hero instinct yet, it’s a fascinating new concept in relationship psychology that’s generating a lot of buzz at the moment. It claims that men are much more likely to commit to a woman who makes them feel like an everyday hero.
The simple truth is that men have a biological urge to provide for and protect women. It’s hardwired into them.
And the kicker?
A man won’t commit until this thirst is satisfied.
I know it sounds kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
But here’s the ironic truth. Men do still need to be a hero. Because it’s built into their DNA to seek out relationships that allow them to feel like one.
The hero instinct is a legitimate concept in relationship psychology that I personally believe has a lot of truth to it.
If you want to learn exactly how to trigger the hero instinct in your man, check out this excellent free video.
You’ll discover the phrases you can say, texts you can send, and little requests you can make to trigger this very natural male instinct.
Some ideas really are life-changing. And when it comes to making a physical relationship so much more, this is one of them.
Here’s a link to the video again.
8) He holds your hands and looks into your eyes during sex
It can be hard to gauge the interest of the other person at the beginning of a relationship.
In other words, it can be hard to know, especially at first, if that person is interested in something more than just physical.
When you’re having sex, does it feel dispassionate? It can be hard for guys to make eye-contact during sex.
And this is especially true if he’s only interested in something purely physical.
What else? Some people don’t like kissing at all in sex-based relationships; it’s too intimate.
Along the same lines, what if he holds your hands while making love? That can be a big indicator of his feelings.
Hand holding is something couples who are in love usually do.
If you’re trying to gauge his interest at the beginning of a relationship, this is a pretty good way to do it. He wants to feel more intimate with you and even closer than just having casual sex.
It’s a sign that he desires something more than just that physical connection and might want something more serious. This means, of course, that he’s probably catching feelings for you.
Here are some signs to help you decide if you’re ready for a serious relationship.
9) He’s fascinated with your passions (and supportive of them)
Beyond sexual passion, there isn’t much that will hold the attention of a man who’s only interested in having a physical relationship with you.
The same can be said for you, too, if you’re looking for a relationship with someone that just involves sex.
What that means is this: when he starts to ask about your personal life or is curious to know more about what makes you tick, take it as a sign.
It could mean that he’s starting to have more than just a physical interest in you. His feelings and desires for you go beyond just your body.
Does he support and show interest in your passions and hobbies? How often does he ask questions about it?
When you start talking about things that are important to you, pay attention to see if that’s what he’s doing.
If he tunes you out, he really could care less. But, if he’s listening intently and encourages you to pursue your passions, he’s vested in you.
In other words, he likes you, and it’s more than physical.
10) He likes to do things with you early in the day
If your relationship exists in the daylight at all, in fact, that could be a sign you guys are more than just physical.
Most booty-calls and friend-with-benefits type relationships rely on last-minute arrangements, late-night drinks, and center around one or both of your beds (or couches, we don’t judge.)
If he’s making date plans with you that involve coffee, brunch, happy hour, or walking around a park, he’s not doing that to get in your pants.
He’s doing it because he wants to get to know you better.
Let me put it like this: he already knows everything about your body but he doesn’t know everything about you.
He’s trying to fix that because he’s interested in you more than physically.
Furthermore, he wants to make an opportunity for you to get to know him better, too, and further the relationship.
Do you want to take that opportunity or would you rather keep things strictly “professional”? (If you know what I mean.)
Here are some really great ways to spot a superficial person from a mile away.
11) He’s there, even when things are bad
In a friends-with-benefits type of scenario, it’s pretty much agreed upon that your lives aren’t all that intertwined, just your bodies.
So when sh*t hits the fan, he’s not obligated to be there for you. If he was obligated, that would imply a more serious kind of relationship. A kind of relationship that hasn’t been agreed upon yet.
If he’s there for you when things aren’t good, it’s a sign that he really cares about you.
Being there for you in this way is another sign of the hero instinct in play.
Just like women generally have the urge to nurture those they really care about, men have the urge to provide and protect.
The truth is, male desires are not complicated, just misunderstood. Instincts are powerful drivers of human behavior and this is especially true for how men approach their relationships.
If you want your physical relationship to become a loving and committed one, triggering his hero instinct is the best way to go about it.
Watch this simple and genuine video to discover exactly how to do this.
12) You catch him smiling like an idiot
No doubt you already get a lot of satisfaction knowing that you can please your guy sexually.
But do you make him happy?
I’m asking this question because it might just be that he’s fonder of you than you think.
If you catch him smiling like an idiot after you’ve finished saying something, expressing yourself, being silly, or really anything, he’s not just thinking about the sex.
He’s thinking about how lucky he is to know someone like you.
He’s thinking about all the feelings he’s catching for you. Which means it’s officially more than physical for him.
Ask yourself, is that a good thing or a bad thing?
13) He holds your hands and head
Sharing a physical connection with someone means you share all kinds of information without even talking.
What do I mean?
Body language and body cues are huge ways that all of us use to communicate non-verbally.
So pay attention to how he touches you, and where.
It’s also important to note how often he does and in what scenarios.
If it’s an early relationship, he’ll try to hold your hand, stroke your hair, hold your head, and stay close to you.
He’s being more than sexual, he’s being affectionate, and using his body to tell you how he’s really feeling.
To put it another way: he’s telling you it’s more than physical — by being physical with you when it counts.
14) He lingers with you after sex
He just doesn’t want it to end.
It’s not just about the act or climaxing for him. No, he loves the intimacy you’re sharing and wants to linger in that feeling for longer.
When you leave the bed, he asks you where you’re going, or pleads with you to come back.
If you catch him acting like this after sex, it’s a big sign that he’s into you.
And here’s the thing, it’s not just because he wants your sex, it’s because he’s developing stronger, deeper feelings.
When he lingers after the deed is done, it’s a sign that things are more than physical for him.
It’s called after-cuddling and it can be a great way to turn a purely physical relationship into a surprisingly emotionally intimate one.
If that’s what you want, of course.
15) It’s the time he spends with you, not just the sex
Showing appreciation in a relationship, no matter if it’s strictly physical or a life-long marriage, is an important part of it.
For all the relationships I’ve had that are purely “booty-call” in their nature, I still find it important to express appreciation for the act.
If in his efforts to communicate the value of your purely physical relationship, he focuses more on the fact that he likes spending time with you, it’s a big sign.
What is he really saying? He’s saying that it’s the time he spends with you, not just the sex.
The deed is of course wonderful, but the fact he gets to do it with you, and spend time connecting with you is the focus of his attention.
He likes you, maybe even a lot. It’s more than physical.
And, if you want to be 100% sure, you can always seek the help of Relationship Hero.
Frankly, this is the best site I’ve found for love coaches who aren’t just talk. They have seen it all, and they know all about how to tackle difficult love situations.
Personally, I tried them last year while going through a tough relationship problem. They managed to break through the noise and give me real solutions.
Like me, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
Click here to check them out.
16) He likes taking things slow
A good gauge of a guy’s view of your relationship is the speed at which he moves. If it’s a newer relationship, he won’t be trying to rush anything.
Or if it’s only a sexual thing, he’ll like to take it slow in the bedroom.
Consider: if he’s in it for sexual gratification, he’ll be impatient to get to the grunt work, if you know what I mean.
But if he’s thinking about your experience, what you need, or frankly just looking to increase the amount of time he has with you, he’ll take it slower. He might linger with foreplay for a lot longer than he used to.
What does it mean? It means that he’s enjoying the intimacy, not just for his personal gratification, but because he cares about you and the connection.
All of that points to things being more than physical for him.
Here are 33 more signs that he’s clearly interested in you.
17) Your pleasure is very important to him
Most guys are content with satisfying themselves sexually and then moving on with their lives, no thought of you anywhere in between.
It’s part of the reason why women have been known to say that they love their favorite food more than they love sex.
It’s not that they love food that much, it’s more like the sex is just that unsatisfying.
That can be a hard pill for most guys to swallow but if he’s really interested in making sure you’re satisfied, either he’s an extraordinarily rare dude or it means you’re more important to him than just a means to an end.
To say it in another way, he cares enough about you to put aside his own pleasure to make sure you’re satisfied.
Maybe that means this: even though he’s already satisfied, he wants to make sure you orgasm. Or if you’re not finished when he does, he’s game to go another round when he’s ready and fool around in the meantime.
It’s surprising how rare that is in guys. Less surprising, actually, and more just — disappointing.
I mean, it’s no wonder why some girls would prefer a decadent slice of cheesecake over sub-par sex. At least the dessert is satisfying.
18) He adores listening to you
Alright, there’s no reason to beat around the bush: a man who listens is a man who cares.
For whatever biological reason, men just have a hard time tuning in, especially when women are talking.
It’s infuriating, frustrating, and honestly pitiful.
In a one-dimensional relationship based on physical things only, there’s a slim chance that he’s really going to be that interested in listening to you when you vent about things or talk about your passions, or really open your mouth at all.
Of course, I’m overstating a little bit here, but you get my point.
So does he listen to you?
If he really tunes into you when you talk, or just likes hearing your voice when you go off on something you’re passionate about, he really is showing you that he’s got some pretty big feelings for you.
His attentiveness is a strong sign it’s more than physical for him
19) You feel safe to let your guard down
If you find yourself noticing how comfortable you are around your guy, it’s not a coincidence.
New relationships, and even purely physical relationships, tend to lack the kind of comfort and safety that older relationships have established.
Simply put, it takes honesty, communication, and support to build a sense of emotional safety with your significant other.
So when you realize that you’re letting your guard down around this guy, it’s because you’ve found a person who really does care about you.
He’s not just into you so he can score. He’s not just letting you feel safe because it’s only about the sex, and nothing else.
To elaborate: he cares about you, your feelings, and your ability to feel safe. When you’re vulnerable around him, he takes it seriously and treats you kindly.
That can be hard to find, honestly.
Here are some more big signs that he deeply respects you.
20) He runs his hands along your body as if to memorize it
It’s pretty safe to say that all cis-guys enjoy putting their hands on a girl’s body. The female form is indeed a thing of art and beauty.
However, how exactly is he using his hands on your body?
Does he run his fingers along with all your features, paying close attention, lost in his own world? He’s memorizing every angle of your body, every freckle, and scar. He doesn’t want to forget.
And here’s the thing: he’s doing it because it’s more than physical for him.
It isn’t just lust anymore, he cares about the person inside that body. He might be yearning for more than just a physical connection.
He might be subtly telling you he’s ready for something more serious.
Are you?
How to make him fall for you
Does the idea of a committed relationship sound good to you?
Perhaps you’re the one that has fallen for him and are wondering how you can take this relationship past just physical and into something more.
No matter what your current situation is, there is a way you can turn your relationship into something a little more serious.
Whether you have noticed some signs above that it’s already more than physical for him, or are simply hoping it turns into something more, it all comes down to triggering his hero instinct.
This is a concept I mentioned above.
If he is already acting like your everyday hero, then it’s clear it’s more than physical for him. If not, then you can trigger it yourself. It’s simple. It’s easy and most of all, it’s effective.
While the hero instinct is a relatively new concept, it is extremely effective when it comes it to relationships. I’m not exaggerating when I say it’s a game-changer.
To learn exactly how to trigger the hero instinct in your man, check out this excellent free video by James Bauer. He’s the relationship expert who first discovered this natural biological drive in men.
If you’re ready to take your relationship to the next level and see what your future together could look like, then watch the video and discover some practical steps you can take to trigger that instinct in your man today.
Here’s a link to the video again.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
Take the free quiz here to be matched with the perfect coach for you.
Click the above link to get $50 off your first session – an exclusive offer for Hack Spirit readers.
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Does he want more than sex? 12 signs he does (and 5 signs he doesn’t)
Boys are notoriously difficult to read, especially at the beginning of a relationship.
The relationship could become something more, or it might stay purely physical. How can you know the difference? Does he want more than sex?
As a guy who’s been in these scenarios, I’ll show you 12 signs he does want more than sex, and 5 signs that he doesn’t.
12 signs he wants more than sex
1) He’s available
Generally speaking, a boy who’s just interested in having sex isn’t going to be extraordinarily available to you (unless he wants a hookup).
In that way, then, if he’s constantly available to you—whether it’s to answer a phone call, text you to ask about your day, or even willing to give you a ride/help you out in some way—it could be a sign he wants more.
What exactly is it he wants? That’s a different story. He could be looking for something serious, or at least something more committed. On the other hand, he might just be craving a deeper intimacy.
In any case, if he’s there for you when you need him/ask him to be, it’s probably because he wants more from you than just sex.
If you’re looking for something more, too, that’s great. However, it’s not always easy keeping a guy interested in you for the long term.
Here are some must-do tips to keep a guy interested in you for the long haul.
2) Looks for excuses to spend time with you
Does he look for excuses to spend time with you that don’t really involve sex?
If he does, it could be that he wants more than sex. So keep an eye out for those silly excuses.
Maybe he left something of his at yours and wants to meet up for coffee to grab it. Or maybe he’s “in the neighborhood” and wants to grab a bite to eat.
Or he just needs a plus one to a wedding for his friend and doesn’t have anyone else to ask.
These are all great excuses for him to spend time with you, time not spent just having sex.
If your guy is coming up with these kinds of excuses to see you outside of the bedroom, it could be because he wants more than sex. He might just want a relationship with you.
On the other hand, he could be catching feelings for you but isn’t ready for something more serious. This could also be why he’s so difficult to read.
Here’s a look at 11 signs he has feelings for you but isn’t ready for a relationship.
3) You triggered his hero instinct
This could be a big sign that he wants more than sex from you. All of a sudden you’ve found that he’s super into you, dedicated, and wants to be all yours.
It might just be that you triggered his hero instinct, and that makes him 100% ready for a relationship, and not just sex.
But wait, what is the hero instinct?
It’s a hardwired drive found in every man, similar to his drive to eat or make love. However, it’s stronger than any of his other drives combined. In fact, according to relationship expert James Bauer, it’s the reason behind every single decision he makes.
There’s a set of seven switches inside of every man, and different keys that unlock them. Here’s an excellent video that talks more about it.
James Bauer has spent over a decade coaching women in their relationships. It started with noticing a pattern in the way men responded to certain things. After coaching thousands of women, he’s figured out what these inner drives are, and exactly how to activate them.
His latest free video talks about it in-depth, and it’ll give you the tips to use straight away on your man. It’ll also help you move your relationship from sex to something much more.
Here’s a link to the video again.
4) Dates with no sex after
How often do the two of you go on dates that don’t involve sex? If it happens to be frequently, there’s a big chance he’s interested in something more with you.
To put it another way, his attraction to you is hardly just physical. He wants more than sex, in all likelihood.
Has he taken you out to lunch or brunch more than once, or have you been on a movie date, only to watch the movie, and then go home separately? It’s a big sign that he enjoys being around you. He enjoys spending time with you.
And not just sexy time, either.
If you’re used to a friends-with-benefits scenario with him and you sense something is changing, it can be a bit worrisome to think about the idea that maybe he’s catching feelings for you.
The sooner you can identify whether or not he wants more than sex from you, the sooner you’ll be able to do something about it.
Here are some signs he’s confused about his feelings for you.
5) He calls you cute
Of course, you know that you’re cute, there’s no denying that fact.
But here’s the thing: when a guy calls you cute, it usually denotes more than just a physical thing.
In other words, if he’s calling you cute, he’s likely talking about more than just your looks.
There’s something in your mannerisms, the way you talk, the things you talk about, how excited you get when you talk about what matters to you.
Any of these things could be what’s on his mind when he calls you cute.
When a boy is only sexually interested in you, there are a lot of words he might be using to talk about how attractive you are to him, but cute is going to be pretty low on the list.
Here’s a look at 12 big reasons why he’s calling you cute.
6) He keeps making hints
Perhaps one of the biggest ways that you can tell if he’s wanting more than sex is the fact that he’s been hinting at it.
Any of these signs could prove to be a hint, or it could be something completely different.
He could make off-hand comments about “dating” you, or taking you out on dates, or the fact that you’re “a couple.” These little jokes are his way of hinting at the fact that he wants more than just sex.
Remember, it’s important to know what it is that you want in these scenarios.
If he’s starting to catch feelings and you aren’t ready, it’s best to be clear about it from the start.
Or, the opposite could be true. It could be that you’re the one catching feelings, and you’re really unsure about whether or not he is, too.
In that case, it’s important to keep an eye out for signs that it’s just sex. Especially if you’re thinking about bringing it up—you wouldn’t want to embarrass yourself for no reason.
7) He introduces you to his friends
Usually, a friends-with-benefits or strictly sexual relationship doesn’t involve more than the two people benefiting from it.
An occasional breach of this arrangement is nothing to bat an eye at—you’re out getting drinks and his friends stop by, you run into his roommates as they’re heading out and you’re heading in.
However, if he makes it a point to introduce you to his friends, it’s a big flag that he might be looking for something more than just sex.
It could be that he’s really interested in getting to know you better, and incorporating you into more facets of his life—more than just the sexual.
If that’s the case, it’s important to know what you want, too. If you’re down for more than something physical, take this sign as a green light to follow those desires.
It’s likely that he’ll be more than happy about it.
Related: Here are some great ways to figure out if a guy likes you after a one-night stand.
8) Advice specific to your situation confirms it
While these points will shed light on the main signs he wants more than sex, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like not knowing what a guy wants from you. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so confident that they can help you?
Well, I recently experienced a tough patch in my own relationship, and I reached out to them for help.
From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate the situation you’re facing with this man and avoid wasting your time on him.
Click here to get started.
9) You’re getting mixed signals
One of the tell-tale signs that a guy is catching feelings for you is when you start getting mixed signals.
It doesn’t necessarily make any sense, but that’s just the way men work sometimes.
When they start to catch feelings for a girl, they often get afraid, perhaps find themselves in denial, unsure of how to feel, how to express how they feel, and so on.
The way that manifests itself could be that they waffle between hot and cold. One minute really flirty, close, and interested in you, and then the next minute distant, aloof, and disconnected.
You might be wondering if he’s testing you by being suddenly distant. Here’s some things to look out for.
In any case, it’s a sign that things are starting to get a bit more involved than just sex. It could be that he wants more, but doesn’t want to ruin a good thing.
Or it could be that he’s unsure if you want more, and doesn’t want to get rejected. In any case, once he’s showing mixed signals, it’s a sign that he’s thinking about more than just sex.
10) Eye contact, hand-holding, kissing during sex
Sex, by nature, is a very intimate thing. However, when it comes to a purely physical relationship that only involves sex, the displays of intimacy might be less present than in a fully committed relationship.
For instance, things like hand-holding and eye contact might not be present or even kissing.
Each relationship is, of course, different, as is each person’s sexual preferences.
The big point here is noticing a change in the expressions of intimacy.
If you’ve noticed that the way he expresses himself while your having sex changes, it could point to the fact that he’s starting to catch feelings for you.
In other words, he might want more than sex.
If he can’t express his affection for you with words, he might do so by making eye contact with you while you’re having sex, holding your hands, kissing you, and so on. These are expressions of intimacy some guys aren’t comfortable showing unless they’ve developed feelings for a girl.
Here’s a look at some more no-bullshit signs that he loves you during sex.
11) He’s very supportive of you
Oftentimes there’s not much talking that goes on in a purely sexual relationship. At least, not about things that are of great importance.
However, if he’s been showing more interest in you than usual, it could be a sign that he wants more than sex from you.
In other words, he’s catching feelings.
For instance, you find him showing support for you in ways that you wouldn’t expect from someone you’re just having sex with.
He’s happy that you’ve had successes at work or in your personal life.
Or, on the flip side, he expresses frustration along with you when you’re venting about friendships, things that have gone wrong, and so on.
In any case, you find him being supportive of you. These kinds of things go beyond just the physical, and it’s a big hint that he wants more than just sex.
12) He texts you first
This point only applies if he’s texting you first about something besides hooking up with you.
That being said, someone who always texts you first has you on their mind a lot.
He’s thinking about you throughout the day, looking for an excuse to text you.
He might ask you how you are, what you’ve been up to, and so on. He’ll ask you about your interests, share his own, and make conversation about, well, anything.
This is a big sign that he wants more than sex. He might want a relationship with you, he might want to make things exclusive. Or, he might just want to get to know you better and then make a decision.
In any case, it’s becoming something more than physical. If that’s a problem for you, keeping an eye out for this sign—and these others—will help you figure out what to do about it, before feelings get hurt.
Texting a guy can say a lot. It might make you seem really clingy, or it might make him fall for you harder.
In fact, relationship expert James Bauer has a twelve-word code phrase that you can text to your man to make him fall head over heels for you.
He won’t know what to do; he’s so eager to please you and be with you.
With this phrase, you can trigger his hero instinct, something I mentioned a little earlier in the article. When you trigger it, be prepared for a different kind of man.
This free video is really worth a watch. You’ll learn all about the hero instinct, and walk away with a few things you can try as early as tonight.
With that in mind, then, let’s run through 5 signs that it is, in fact, just sex for him. Once you’re able to understand all these signs, you’ll be better equipped to take the best step forward with the relationship, if you think it needs it.
5 signs it’s just sex
1) He only calls or texts to hook up
It’s important to be mindful of the nature of your communication with him. What does he text you about, and when?
If the only times he reaches out to talk to you is to hook up or to invite you over to his place, there’s a good chance that he really only wants sex.
Does he respond to your texts about anything else? Maybe you’ve asked him how his day was, or to see if he was interested in going out with you for drinks. If he hasn’t responded, there’s a good chance that he’s not really interested in you for more than just sex.
Does that make him shallow? Not necessarily, especially if the relationship was based on a purely physical connection to begin with.
The question is more about if it’s what you want. If you want more from the relationship and he doesn’t, it’s important to deduce this, so neither of you is wasting your time.
2) You’re nowhere on his social media
Sometimes boys can be deceptively vague about the nature of your relationship.
It can be frustrating, even demoralizing.
I know I’ve been in a few relationships where the nature of it wasn’t exactly set in stone, and it was painful and difficult when feelings started developing. I was the one who ended up getting hurt in the end.
Clarity about the nature of a relationship is vital for its health.
So if the boy you’ve been seeing is being unclear about it, that’s already a warning sign. It could point to the fact that he just wants you for sex.
Additionally, if you’re nowhere on his social media, it’s a big sign that he just wants you for sex. One of my exes never had me anywhere on her social media, and it became clear later that it was because she didn’t want our relationship to be anything more than just physical.
Sometimes it’s what they’re not doing that speaks louder than what they are doing.
3) He doesn’t like cuddling
Cuddling is one of those things that some people like, and some people don’t like. However, it could also point to the fact that he’s not interested in something more with you.
However, most people in committed relationships enjoy a certain amount of cuddling or snuggling.
Whether it’s just holding hands, leaning on a shoulder, or full-on embracing, there’s a certain amount of physicality involved: physicality that isn’t just the act of sex.
So if he makes it a habit of denying any kind of advances for cuddling, hand-holding, or physicality beyond making love, it’s a big sign that he isn’t really interested in anything more than just sex.
If that’s what you want, that’s great. However, if you’re looking for more, it might be time to consider moving on to find someone who’s interested in something more serious.
4) He doesn’t like staying over
Someone who doesn’t like staying over after having sex is someone who really is only interested in having sex with you.
It’s hard to spin this point any other way. They aren’t interested in sleeping over, sharing a bed, or sharing any kind of intimacy.
They like sleeping alone but have a sexual need they want filled.
You are that fulfillment. And maybe you want more, maybe they could be interested in more.
But here’s the bottom line: if they don’t want to stay over, or if they kick you out after the deed is done, there’s little chance that they want anything more than just sex.
5) Your satisfaction isn’t as important
Making love is something that involves effort and connection on the part of both people. It takes mutual understanding, concern, and shared intimacy.
However, if a boy is really only interested in you for the sex, he’s likely to show little or no care for your satisfaction, for your fulfillment.
In other words, he’ll only be looking out for his own sexual satisfaction, or at least primarily so. He may care about your satisfaction, but only at a shallow or surface level.
This could show itself in actions — never going down on you but requesting you do for him, and so on.
In any case, showing concern for your sexual partner is something that is always important to a healthy and pleasurable sexual experience.
However, oftentimes if a man doesn’t want anything but sex from you, he won’t show that much concern.
The bottom line
All of these signs will help you deduce whether or not the boy you’ve been sleeping with wants more than just sex.
There are some pretty clear signs that he does, as well as some pretty clear signs that he doesn’t.
In either case, remember that it’s up to you to figure out what you want first, and then you can make the best decision moving forward from there.
That decision might just be the one where you decide to trigger his hero instinct. This instinct is incredibly powerful.
In fact, less than ten women in a thousand even know about it, and only one in ten men. However, it’s something that James Bauer says rules over every single decision a man makes.
It’s really that powerful. If you can learn to tap into this instinct, you’ll learn how to make your man loyal, devoted, and willing to do anything to make you happy.
Your love life will be revolutionized.
Here’s a link to the free video again.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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How to understand that a man only needs sex: the main signs
18+
For the sake of sex, a man is ready to go to great lengths. He can portray the most reverent feelings for you, but his intention is not difficult to reveal. Even if it seems to you that this guy is ready for a serious romance, you should listen to the advice of our author Alexander Tsypkin, who gives tips on how to recognize that he only needs sex from you.
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Many men maintain just such relationships: sex without obligations, without attachments. Serious relationships, if a man only needs sex, cannot be built. But how to timely and correctly recognize the signs of such behavior of a guy?
Every girl dreams that the romantic relationship that arose at the moment of meeting a guy would grow into something more.
But if a young man, even a few months after meeting him, is only interested in boudoir issues, it's time to dot the i's. If clear signs indicate that a man only needs sex, it is worth considering the further development of the relationship. Do you need these? Are you ready just for sex without obligation?
There are several signs that indicate that your boyfriend is in this kind of relationship - non-committal, built only on meetings for intimacy. How to recognize them? Read our recommendations - how to understand that a man only needs sex from you. If you unconditionally agree with several points, then draw certain conclusions.
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So, how do you know that a guy only wants sex? Start a conversation about polygamy , temporary relationships and the joys of life one day and see what he has to say about this. We warn you that he can ignore this topic, move it to another one, telling how much he likes your pictures in a bikini, and how he would like to have sex with you in the bathroom.
Usually such citizens have a universal legend: "I just got out of a difficult relationship, I want to live for a little today." Nonsense! Nothing helps to forget a failed romance like a new one. The above excuse means: "You won't cure me, but as a painkiller you'll do it." Have you already heard something similar from your boyfriend? So this is one of the clear signs that this man only needs sex.
An invitation to visit your parents does not cause enthusiasm . Especially if before that you mentioned the paratrooper dad. And all attempts to resume the conversation about introducing him to his relatives inevitably come down to intimacy. How to understand that a guy only wants sex? The reluctance to discuss such topics can be counted as a clear confirmation of this.
What other signs prove that a guy only wants sex? Pay attention to his behavior before allowing him to your body. He is suspiciously a little nervous on the first intimate date .
And in general, during sex, he does whatever he wants with you, without specifying whether this violates your personal space, spiritual bonds and ideas about beauty. Such a man is subconsciously not afraid of losing you, and therefore does not think about the consequences.
Gets in touch only to make another sex date. At the same time, he is not interested in your health, or your mood, or how you are doing at work. This suggests that a man only needs sex. And if you call up just like that, then only on your initiative. At the same time, the conversation is similar to a business one, and if there are questions, then they sound from your side, but not from him.
When the first intensity of feelings subsides, your meetings become less and less frequent. And with them, and sex. It's simple: the more we love a woman, the longer we want her. And if it's just a hobby, the passion passes quickly. Are you ready to agree that this is one of the signs indicating that a man only wants sex?
You have the feeling that this man is an orphan.
That is, it never comes up about getting to know your mother, even if she is sick and he went to get medicine. But he can just deceive you, because he likes relationships without obligations. And he will not introduce you to his mother - this is also one of the signs that a guy only needs sex.
Ready to go with you anywhere, but not to your friend's wedding. Apparently, he thinks: at the marriage ceremony he will be married for the company, or if you catch the bride's bouquet, the bailiff will come with him as with a writ of execution. How to understand that your lover only wants sex? He will refuse such joint campaigns and will find a thousand reasons for this. He doesn't want to know your friends, just like he doesn't want to introduce you to his.
Unwillingness to leave you for the night also serves as an indicator of the short-term nature of his strategy. There is no quantum mechanics here.
Men do not want a difficult breakup, so they try to minimize attachments. This is also one of the signs that a guy only wants sex. Moreover, he also does not aspire to stay at your place for the night, hence his stories about how he does not want to snore in your ear, wake you up early in the morning because he has to work by eight and suffers from a terrible allergy to your cat .
Ask to change your social media status and see the reaction. In response, he will probably call Facebook (the social network was recognized as extremist and banned on the territory of the Russian Federation) and VKontakte as evil and atavism. How to understand that a guy only wants sex? Yes, at least for this behavior.
Introduce him to your boring girlfriend and then try to arrange a second date. Anyone who is going to live with you until old age understands that this is a necessary evil, and will adapt. He is not. And this is another confirmation that a man only needs sex.
Invite him to think about a joint vacation or meeting the New Year. I'm sure you'll hear something incomprehensible about workloads from May to October and all winter holidays. He is endlessly busy, he refuses your every offer to go somewhere together and always gives good reasons. Should they be considered signs that a man only needs sex? Undoubtedly.
Persistently talks about his shortcomings, hinting that you are suffering with him. And in general, he talks a lot about himself and is practically not interested in you and your plans for the future.
When he chooses a movie to watch together, it turns out to be anything but a melodrama with a happy ending.
What other signs are there that a man only wants sex? As soon as you bring a toothbrush or a teddy bear to his house, he starts talking about personal space. And soon all this will inevitably return to your apartment.
He searches for a few seconds for an answer to the phrase: “I dreamed of someone like you all my life!” and eventually tries to pretend to be a Comedy Club resident.
Ask for a large amount of debt. who help in any situation, but this is rare. Rather, in response you will hear about the crisis and about the mortgage. In principle, you should not expect investments in your relationship from such a man.0003 And finally, the simplest test. Ask directly what he is looking for and say that you think cowardice is the most disgusting quality in a man . And no matter what he answers, it will help you find out if a man only needs sex or if he is ready for a more serious relationship with you. 18+ You are a smart, beautiful, interesting conversationalist and just a good person, but do men see you only as an object of desire? Our author Ilya Latypov knows what's the matter and how to change it if a man only needs sex. Tags: Sex Life Stories Family life Male psychology Shutterstock Once a good friend of mine - a charming, attractive and talented girl - complained: The question "Why am I treated only as a sexual object?" girls ask often. And this is what they hear in response: men only need sex, nothing can be done; you're behaving wrong, dress modestly; you are looking in the wrong place - you need it in the library, not in a nightclub; just wait, and among the hordes of lustful men, sooner or later you will come across the very one. It's funny, but there is some truth in each of these statements. Men are really interested in sex with a woman they like; it is strange to look for a person who can appreciate your soul, where people gather who are looking for a body; we actually meet people who are not right for us before we find "the one". However, all these are details that divert attention from the main thing - our own personality. And it’s right to ask the question not “Why do they treat me like that?”, But “What am I doing so that men see me only as a sexual object?”. And here is the answer: "I deny myself respect." By self-respect, I mean the ability to notice everything that is most important in yourself and not be afraid to show it to others. When you do not hide feelings, desires, hobbies from your interlocutor, you are fully present in every contact as a person, then only those who need a living analogue of a rubber doll will try to turn you into an exclusively sex object. The toy does not have its own needs, interests, so it is convenient with it. If you don't understand who you are, what you like, or are afraid to express your own interests and uphold values, then it is not surprising that a man only wants sex from you. How to be a person who causes not only sexual desire, but also the desire to understand you? Here are some observations. First: if you don’t understand what you like, you don’t have stable interests, you know yourself very, very poorly, then you can really attract a man only with your body (well, with some other applied functions like cooking borscht). Those who need only this will pay attention to you. By the way, the rule can also be applied to men: if a young man has nothing to offer himself, he will reduce everything to sex. Exit? Study yourself, your desires, recognize emotions and build boundaries. ADVERTISING - CONTINUED BELOW Second: it is not enough just to be aware of your needs and feelings, it is also important not to be afraid to express them. If a man only wants sex: how to change it
“I want men to take me seriously.
What does "seriously" mean?
- Well, so that they don’t treat me solely as an object for sex.
- I don't treat you like that. You and I can talk about everything in the world, I really appreciate it.
Yes, but you are married.
- And what, you communicate with free men in a fundamentally different way?
- Not fundamentally, but still different ...
- That's the root of the problem. 
You can't do anything with that attitude, it's not even worth trying. Just do not agree to try on this role. 
If you are all
while you are afraid that a man will not be interested in your words or deeds, you betray yourself. Genuine contact is based on presenting differences to each other, and artificial contact is made up of attempts to adjust - to pretend that you are fascinated by a topic that makes you want to yawn. Laugh when it's not funny. Hold onto your disagreement. How will be correct? Bring up topics that interest you, not
only to a man. Don't agree to what you don't want to do. Do what both like (in the family
life is somewhat different, but we are not talking about it now). It happens that you know and love a lot of things, but when communicating with men, it suddenly seems insignificant. Is this what happens to one person? Listen to how he reacts to your words. Does it depreciate (“Yes, some kind of nonsense”, “Only fools do that”)? Your attempts to tell something about yourself are sluggishly drawn to: “Well, yes ...” Or: “But I have ...” There is a narcissistic character, this man needs not you, but your admiration.
