Depleted mother syndrome
Exhausted Mothers, It's Not Your Fault that You Feel Like This
Exhausted Mothers, It's Not Your Fault that You Feel Like This- Conditions
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Medically reviewed by Scientific Advisory Board — By Kellie Edwards on December 9, 2015
I felt like that, too. I was head over heels in love with my daughters, but that didn’t protect me. I had been so determined to be the best mother I could be that I dedicated myself to the job beyond reason and became exhausted and depleted in the process. I wondered if perhaps I was a bad mother. But actually, I am surprised nearly all mothers don’t suffer like this. Here’s why it’s not our fault.
- Motherhood is tough This is the hardest job I have ever had. Heaven and hell at the same time. Frequent interruptions, lack of control over the agenda, constantly switching tasks, too much to do, emotional outbursts, no holidays — all when while I’m sleep-deprived.
- No previous training What kind of employer would expect you to do everything from day one with no training, especially when someone else’s life and well-being depends on you?
- The village it takes to raise a child looks more like a ghost town Most of us raise our children almost on our own these days. In traditional societies it really was the whole village that got involved. I also made the mistake of not reaching out for support until I was completely spent.
- We put ourselves last Self-care? What is that? I didn’t keep sight of my own needs — they slipped out of my awareness. Self-sacrifice was the name of the game. But this is a recipe for becoming overwhelmed. We have to put our oxygen mask on first before we can be of any use to our children. What do you need right now?
- Our brains have a negativity bias As a psychologist, I knew this, but forgot to apply it to motherhood. Because it was more important for our survival in caveman days to notice the lion that wants to eat us for lunch and let the positive slip by, we are wired to notice the risks.Now that we are safe, our brain still notices possible problems more easily than what is going right, and so we worry and get stuck there. And we miss the good stuff, like our baby’s smiles and how good the sun feels on our backs. We have to choose to turn toward these moments to notice them and let them balance the scales. Mindfulness helped me start doing this again.
- We judge ourselves I had wildly unrealistic expectations of myself and was hard on myself when I didn’t deliver. Hindsight brought me this awareness, but back when I needed kindness from myself, my inner critic kept telling me to soldier on. Stopping to pause and deliberately cultivate this kind relationship with myself was a skill I learned to practice daily and it has gradually changed my life.
- No off switch It’s great to care deeply about our children. We must. But for me, caring translated into no off switch and everything else you read here. Turning the love I felt for my children toward myself soothed my weary heart and started to fill it back up again as a much-needed resource for the marathon of motherhood.
- We lose other parts of ourselves Motherhood is all-consuming. There are parts of who we were before we had children that get lost. I voluntarily stopped work and embraced motherhood wholeheartedly. Partway down the track I felt like I had lost who I was professionally, financially, romantically, as a friend and just me. I felt like I had less value in society’s eyes because I only contributed within my own family. It took time to get back a fuller sense of myself.Making time for things other than motherhood seems unrealistic at some stages, but getting support to be with your partner and friends, do things you love, and be something other than a mom is restorative.
- We’re depleted Over time, mothers become physically, emotionally and mentally drained of nutrients, strength and vitality. Psychologist Rick Hanson coined the phrase “depleted mother syndrome” and emphasizes how important it is to regain the strength we need to be there for ourselves and to manage our care-giving role.
- We get stuck in the negative spiral All of this adds up to almost-inevitable exhaustion, feeling overwhelmed, and poor health. There is a positive spiral of well-being, but we have to take the first step, for our sake as well as our children. Children need warm, affectionate and engaged parents. How can we possibly sustain that over the marathon of motherhood unless we also look after ourselves?
- We have forgotten how to be still We have to turn away from the busyness of the world for a while. Our culture glorifies busyness, but we must make a different choice. What is more important — your well-being or your to-do list? For me, this is a daily choice and it takes determination not to slip back into the frenetic “doing” so I can leave room for “being” and “connecting.” There will always be things not finished.
Don’t do it alone. When I relaxed enough to realize how exhausted I was, I reached out for help, crawled back into the driver’s seat of my own well-being, and made more time for mindfulness, kindness and rest. It got easier. The fun came back, a bit at a time. Now the waves don’t knock me over. There may be churning waters on the surface, but underneath is a calm that I can access more easily now.
Stressed mom photo available from Shutterstock
Last medically reviewed on December 9, 2015
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Medically reviewed by Scientific Advisory Board — By Kellie Edwards on December 9, 2015
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What it is and what you can do about it
Whenever I mention Depleted Mother Syndrome (DMS) to a new mom, her first reaction is to chuckle.
“Now there’s a syndrome for THAT too?”, she’d say.
But not five minutes into me describing this all too common condition, does she begin to nod her head enthusiastically, and by the end of the meeting DMS has gathered a new fan.
What is Depleted Mother Syndrome (DMS)?
In a nutshell, Depleted Mother Syndrome (DMS) occurs when demands on the mother increase, and her resources decrease. As a result of this imbalance, the mother’s emotional sensitivity to both internal, and external triggers becomes heightened. In other words, her buttons begin to get pushed so quickly and so often that she becomes worn out and frazzled (sounds familiar?)
First introduced in the book Mother Nurture – written by Dr. Jan Hanson, Dr. Rick Hanson and Dr. Ricki Pollycove, Depleted Mother Syndrome has been shedding light on many of the difficulties mothers struggle with regularly.
While often experienced by mothers of young children, it is important to note that DMS is by no means limited to new parents as it can be experienced by all parents and caregivers, no matter the child’s age.
Increased Demands- Mothers today juggle more tasks, work longer, and sleep less than their own mothers did.
- Mothers are on call 24 hours a day, without sick days, mental health days, weekends, or vacations.
- The roles of the mother include: coordinator of home life, social life, and children; counsellor, event organizer, playmate, cook, cleaner, shopper, book-keeper, extended family liaison, night watcher, lover, etc.
- Many mothers also work full-time jobs, in addition to the many tasks of motherhood.
- The average mother works 20 more hours per week than her partner, whether she is drawing a paycheck or not.
- Mothers are often put under a microscope, and expected to have super-human powers, and resilience. High expectations from society, their own culture, themselves, their husbands, and other moms create guilt, and a feeling of never being good enough.
- Research shows that mothers take parenting-related events more personally than fathers (ever feel terribly ashamed when your son/daughter has a tantrum at the grocery store? would your husband feel the same?)
- Mothers may also be recovering from pregnancy, breastfeeding, and/or weaning – all of which deplete you physically and psychologically.
- Changes in physical appearance due to pregnancy, and weaning often negatively affect body-image, and self-esteem.
- Mothers often find it difficult to maintain their professional status after becoming parents.
- One of the negative consequences of urban sprawl is isolation. We live far from family and friends, and we are less connected with our community.
- The relationship with our significant other becomes more stressed, cold and distanced. Statistically, couples with children have 8 times more arguments than couples without children.
- Mothers have very little self-time to re-charge through rest, or doing fun activities.
- Many mothers have few opportunities for exercise – to release stress and keep the body strong.
- Mothers’ diet is often rushed and unbalanced – grabbing whatever they can, and as quickly as possible.
- Sleep deprivation and sleep disturbances (interrupted REM sleep) have long lasting and detrimental effects on the mother including depression, weakened immune system and high blood pressure.
- Your buttons get pushed quickly, and frequently. Every little thing that goes wrong makes you angry, hurt, or depressed.
- All the negative beliefs about yourself as a parent, a partner, and a person get heightened –I am not a good enough parent/wife/me.
- Your fears get magnified – what am I doing wrong? What if something bad happens to the kids?
- All the disappointments, shame, and anger rise up to the surface – I thought this would be easier, everyone else can do it – why can’t I?
- Grief gets magnified over everything you lost since becoming a mom: professional status, body, old self, feeling sexy, friends’ support…
- Old wound get opened up. When sensitivity is at a high, emotional traumas from the past are often remembered, and re-experienced.
- Automatic coping mechanisms get engaged. Knee-jerk reactions (you hurt me, I hurt you back), and fight-or-flight reactions are much more easily accessible than mindful actions and empathy.
1. Learn to ask for help.
We live in an individualistic society that encourages independence, and self-sufficiency. Needing help, and support often makes us uncomfortable and creates feelings of inadequacy, or vulnerability. We prefer to be in control, and do everything ourselves! But of course, that depletes us even further, and leads to resentment and loneliness. It helps to get to the bottom of our discomfort as it relates to asking for and accepting help. Removing these obstacles clears the way to getting the support we deserve.
2. Be aware of your unique sensitivities, and be gentle.
If you tend to be more of an introvert than an extravert, then coordinating a child’s busy social schedule may be triggering for you. If are used to doing things just right, you may find it upsetting when your child misbehaves in front of company. If your feelings get hurt when you are not being taken seriously, you will likely be triggered when your child refuses to listen. These sensitivities are made of old childhood wounds. Park your disappointment, judgement, and embarrassment of them. Instead, acknowledge them with love, and challenge them gently.
3. Get (and stay) nourished.
The most effective way to replenish your body, and stay healthy and strong is through good nutrition. Because the nutritional value of our food has gradually decreased due to chemicals and processed ingredients, it has become more difficult to ingest the nutrients necessary for us to stay healthy. Here are a few points to keep in mind to maximize your nutrition:
- Eat a good amount of protein (especially at breakfast)
- Eat lots of fruits and vegetables throughout the day
- Drink lots of water – keep a water bottle with you and sip from it all day long
- Buy organic whenever possible
- Take a multi-vitamin
- Have very little sugar
- Eat very little (if any) processed food
4. Get exercise, and fresh air every day.
Regular exercise keeps your body strong and your mind limber and calm. It often amazes me how just a short walk can re-energize and change the mood for the better. I highly recommend registering for a regular exercise class where you can make yourself a priority and meet other moms in the process.
5. Learn to notice when you are reaching the end of your rope.
Pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations and learn the warning signs before you get to your breaking point. Here are some common experiences from the edge: repetitive critical thoughts of yourself and others, feeling agitated/annoyed with everything and everyone, body feels tense, or like a wet noodle, quick to anger, difficulty finding joy in life, shame, guilt, anxiety, and difficulty concentrating.
6. Reduce the stress before you reach your breaking point.
One-minute stress busters- Take slow deep belly breaths
- Take your shoes off and rub your feet
- Roll your head around and loosen your neck
- Splash water on your face
- Stand up, lean down, touch the floor, shake your arms and stretch back up while taking a deep breath.
- Visualize faucets at the tips of your fingers and visualize all of the stress leaving your body as it pours out of the faucets. Or my favorite – visualize the tips of your fingers as warm wax and let the wax (stress) drip down to the floor one drop at a time. Take a deep breath when you are done.
- Pretend you are a dog (yes, I’m serious) and shake off all the stress from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet.
- Make yourself a cup of tea and drink it.
- Find specific tension spots in your body and breathe into them.
7. If you’ve reached your breaking point, don’t be too hard on yourself – it happens to all great moms.
Remember – you are teaching your child that mistakes are a part of life, that you (much like him/her) are always learning, and that even mom can say “I’m sorry”.
8. Connect with friends.
Kind and supportive friends are great medicine for a depleted mother. Arrange your own playdate (preferably without the kids) where you can vent out your feelings, get great advice, and see that you are not the only one experiencing problems.
9. Care for your relationship.
One of the defining characteristics of positive relationships is having the positive interactions outweigh the negative ones. It is more important to be civil to each other than to agree.
How to be civil to your significant other- Lead with the positive
- Start by connecting
- Speak with accuracy and restraint
- Take responsibility for your experience
- Stay on topic
- Focus on what is accurate or useful in what the other person is saying
- Talk in a way that makes you feel proud of yourself
- Address concrete specifics – no vague complaints
- Make requests, not demands
- Make agreements, not threats
- Concede points when you can
10. Feel your emotions, and express them.
When we deny our emotions we add shame and fear onto them (this feeling is too shameful to admit), and cause them to grow and fester. Don’t be afraid of your emotions – they are natural and normal. Be accepting, and gently curious about your feelings. You can write them down if it helps (use a handy crayon and big font to let out your younger emotions). You can also draw a picture of your feelings, or talk to a friend about them.
"You're a mother, pull yourself together"! Why Mother Burnout Is Really Serious
Psychology
Tatyana Ilyina, a psychologist at the Quality of Life Center, who studies the phenomenon of emotional burnout in mothers and herself faced this problem, tells why it is really difficult to be a modern mother and whether it is possible to help oneself.
“Motherhood is happiness!” - 3 years ago I repeated this phrase like a mantra, calming my crying daughter for hours at night. She was healthy, everything was in order, she just did not sleep. And I didn't sleep. It seemed that the devastating feeling of fatigue would never go away. It was comforting that I was not alone in my feelings.
Playgrounds turned out to be an excellent space for normalizing emotions. Almost all mothers spoke about very similar feelings: about the lack of sleep, about being tired from seemingly easy, but such monotonous housework. And also - about confusion in front of a flurry of information about everything in the world: about vaccinations, complementary foods, goods for the child, about "razvitashki", about clothes and shoes, about education.
Noticing that most mothers experience similar feelings, I began to study the topic in more detail. Diagnosis: emotional burnout - that's what I came to the conclusion. What it is? Why hadn't this been heard before? Let's figure it out.
Emotional burnout is a state of extreme exhaustion that persists for a long time. If a person's activity is closely related to contacts with other people, requires constant emotional involvement and leaves no opportunity for regular quality rest, he is at risk for the development of burnout syndrome.
In the latest edition of the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11), "burnout" is officially recognized as a disease. It also says in this document that the term can only be used in a professional environment. That is, according to this document, it is possible to burn out only at work. It turns out that a non-working woman who is on parental leave cannot burn out? Maybe. Mom is tired. Mom burns with the happiness of motherhood and burns out from fatigue, from lack of sleep, from high responsibility, from monotony, from an abundance of information. Being a mom is the most important job in the world that takes all your strength, and the reward for it is to see how children grow up.
Motherhood as a profession: what is important to know
Today, being a mother is not just giving birth (adopting) a child. The task of a modern mother is not limited to ensuring the survival of the child until the moment of gaining independence. It was normal for the generation of our great-grandmothers to have 11 children and be glad that 8 of them survived. The upbringing of children some one and a half centuries ago was reduced mainly to involving children in the activities of the whole family. A modern young mother is so immersed in a new role that her whole way of life changes: her daily routine, social contacts, and the content of her activities.
40 out of 50 mothers I interviewed at regular playgrounds in St. Petersburg stopped working after having a baby. Their main occupation at the time of the survey was motherhood. Yes, they do not work in the traditional sense of the word. But they all chuckle bitterly when someone reminds them that they are actually on maternity leave.
“Earlier they gave birth in the field”, “in the old days they had 10 children and they didn’t complain”, “earlier they washed with their hands, and cooked in the oven, and kept the garden - and nothing that makes you tired there”, “ you are young and strong, you have a normal healthy child – what are you complaining about?” - this is only a small part of the offensive phrases that depreciate the feelings of the mother. Unfortunately, from just a reminder of how hard life was for past generations and how lucky the current one is, mom’s feeling of fatigue does not disappear. Fatigue remains, and feelings of guilt and inferiority are added to it. The increase in the level of emotional burnout of the mother has a number of reasons.
Society has become more child-centric
The modern model of motherhood is different in that being a mother means devoting one's activities to caring for a child every day and without interruption. Never before has so much attention been paid to the topic of childhood. Mom is expected to know everything about the child in the world, to carefully think through everything to the smallest detail (starting with a pacifier and ending with treatment methods and approaches to education). Now you won’t be able to raise a child the way mom tells you: it’s important to have your own opinion about all aspects of parenting. It is very easy to get confused in the flow of information and difficult to find landmarks. Mom gets tired because every day she has to make decisions on dozens of various issues.
Personal crisis due to the narrowing of the social role
In the pre-Soviet era, the entire life path of a woman was reduced to a successful marriage and the birth of children. A modern woman is a full member of society. Yes, gender stereotypes persist, but no one will forbid a woman to study, will not limit her in her search for ways of self-realization. By the time of the onset of motherhood, she already has an idea of the variety of options for a life scenario. Once in the role of a mother (when every hour of every day is devoted to caring for a child!) A woman often compares herself to childless acquaintances who develop careers, make new acquaintances, learn new things and go to the movies with friends. From such comparisons against the background of objective physical fatigue, a personality crisis can develop: “Is this exactly what I wanted?”
Daily stress and uncertainty
Raising a child is a constant state of uncertainty. You never know what little thing will become a source of tears for the baby. You can plan tomorrow to the smallest detail, and when it comes, you can detect the child's temperature. While the child is still very young, it is not easy for many to even predict the time and duration of their own sleep, because it depends on the baby, who can give his mother a sleepless night. Stressful situations in motherhood are inevitable. The question is how to deal with them. What will you do if things don't go according to plan? How will you react if the child does something? What if your favorite things are ruined? If after a sleepless night comes a day full of whims? Mom's behavior in a stressful situation determines the likelihood of emotional burnout.
Why constant stress makes us selfish and prevents us from thinking sensibly
The ambiguous distribution of responsibilities in the family
The generation of current parents saw how responsibility was distributed in their family: mother keeps order, cooks, takes care of children. And dad is very tired at work, so he mostly rests at home. Mom, of course, also works, but she is also a mother, so she does not get tired. The distribution of responsibilities in the family was not always so categorical, but with children's eyes it was seen that way. Having matured, we form our attitude to this distribution. Someone has reconciled and broadcasts it in his family. Someone has found a way to be more flexible. And for some, these stereotypes cause a sharp rejection. Those mothers who categorically disagree with the traditional distribution of responsibilities in the family, but do not know how to fix it, burn out much more strongly.
Lack of help from loved ones
Being in contact with another person 24/7 and in a confined space is a serious test. Even if this other is the most beloved and long-awaited, a person needs the opportunity to be alone with himself. But if the mother has no one to transfer care of the child, this opportunity is lost. And the longer the contact lasts between breaks, the more exhausting it becomes for mom. In any job there are days off and holidays. They are not in the mother's profession, so the help of loved ones (or lack of it) is of particular importance.
Lack of personal time
We asked mothers: “Do you currently have a permanent occupation that is not related to taking care of children (hobbies, studies, work, sports)”. 55% of the surveyed mothers with a high level of emotional burnout answered negatively. They do not find time for hobbies, sports, study or work. This situation deprives a woman of a sense of integrity, makes her yearn even more for the opportunity to do what she was interested in before.
What to do?
First of all, restore the resource. While the mother is objectively physically exhausted, it is difficult to talk about awareness and deeper changes in the family way of life.
Mothers of babies in their first year of life are usually the most vulnerable to lack of sleep and physical fatigue. At this age, the sleep pattern is still being established in children, the child wakes up at night and can be capricious during the day, not being able to explain in words what worries him. But mother's sleep is a guarantee of her well-being and mood, without them it is very difficult to take good care of a child.
Find the causes of your child's poor sleep and try to eliminate them
- make sure that the baby is in good health. If the cause of the child's concern is feeling unwell, consult a pediatrician on how to alleviate the child's condition;
- check sleep conditions. No matter what they write in books, each child is individual. It is more comfortable for one to sleep in his crib in a cool place and move freely in his sleep. Another is constantly freezing and wakes himself with his hands. Any recommendations of specialists should be correlated with how your baby feels and try to provide comfortable sleeping conditions for him;
- try to reconsider the feeding regimen. And again: children are different. One does not sleep well because the stomach is busy digesting dinner. The other, on the contrary, will quickly wake up from hunger. Try shifting the feeding time by 15-30 minutes and see if this affects the quality of sleep;
- bathing does not have to be in the evening. Some children get overexcited from water procedures and then fall asleep badly. Others spend a lot of energy and sleep better after bathing. See what works best for your little one.
Sometimes the cause of restless sleep may not be obvious, but it is definitely there - it is important to find it.
When the child's sleep is established, follow the rule: the child sleeps - the mother also sleeps
Until you get enough sleep. When emotional burnout has already become your reality, it is important to “put on an oxygen mask”: perform a minimum set of the most necessary actions, and rest the rest of the time. Give yourself a break to recuperate. Use all the possibilities: put off non-urgent matters for later, delegate what can be delegated, ask for help from your husband, girlfriends, relatives. If you have the financial ability, introduce the services of assistants into your life: cleaning, babysitting, delivery of ready-made food or groceries. Having restored the resource, you can always return to your life those things that you want.
Consider rethinking your daily routine
To make it painless, take it gradually. Make a list of tasks that you face every day. Select from the list the ones you need to complete. Spread them out over time. Make sure your to-do list is doable, realistic, and meaningful.
Gradually add to your list activities that make you happy. Include exercises with your baby in your schedule if you can’t break out to the gym. Don't skip meals - have breakfast, lunch and dinner at appropriate times to avoid eating disorders. When your sleep deficit is replenished, use your baby's sleep time for activities that are to your liking. Don't waste your child's sleep on cleaning and cooking if that doesn't make you happy. It is better to devote it to your hobby, and try to do household chores with your awake child.
Talk to loved ones
Sometimes it turns out that help is just around the corner - you just need to ask. Sometimes it is difficult for relatives to understand your feelings, but they are ready to listen and hear. It's definitely worth a try.
Remember that “mother” is only one of many social roles
Devoting oneself to children is an erroneous tactic that does not benefit either the mother or the children themselves. Mom is exhausted and loses the meaning of life when the children grow up. Children often do not cope with this burden - to be those to whom their mother devoted herself, because they did not ask for it. It would be enough for them to feel loved by parents who live their lives and set an example of self-confident people. It is quite possible to combine maternity leave with self-knowledge, learning new things, acquiring a new profession - it is important to allow yourself to see and use these opportunities.
Mom's emotional burnout is a diagnosis, but not a sentence. This state is normal, real, it is not fiction and not just self-pity from an excess of free time. And it can and should be dealt with. There is always a way out. Find it and gain the ability to enjoy your child's childhood.
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Author:
Katerina Reznikova,
Burnout syndrome in mothers
Has it ever happened to you that you do not feel the strength to approach your child when he is crying? Or if his crying causes irritation , and not an impulse to take it in his arms and calm him down? Have you ever lost your temper with a child, and then suffered from guilt for a long time, realizing that you went too far? Have you ever felt regret that you became a mother and drove yourself into this endless Groundhog Day, and then again and again blame yourself for such thoughts? If yes, then burnout syndrome is familiar to you firsthand.
A persistent feeling of chronic fatigue that often haunts from the very moment of awakening, increased irritability, aggression towards your child, a feeling of physical and moral exhaustion - all these are serious problems that must be paid attention to.
What is it?
Initially, burnout syndrome was determined among workers in helping professions (doctors, teachers, etc.), those who are in dependent relationships with helpless or simply younger people, in those professions who are forced to constantly spiritually invest in their work process, where there is no ability to do it mechanically.
“What does it have to do with mothers?” you ask. Despite the fact that mothers are in such an environment not just at work, but around the clock. They selflessly spend all their physical and mental strength to help their children, to take care of them in all areas. It is not surprising that such work (and we are certainly talking about work here) daily leads to moral devastation and even physical exhaustion.
In our society it is not accepted to support the parents of in the stage of emotional burnout. It is believed that this is just one of the many components of parenthood and you just need to go through a difficult period. Instead of a kind word of care, a tired mother will often hear only “Pull yourself together!” or “What did you want?”. But this is not at all what she expects to hear from her relatives, and you will agree that there is no help from such phrases at all. Nevertheless, the burnout syndrome is not a simple thing, and in its neglected form can lead to very disastrous consequences for both for the mother herself and for her children.
How to deal with burnout syndrome?
- Admit to yourself that you are tired .
Allow yourself to feel this fatigue rather than trying to run like a squirrel in a wheel without stopping. Feel sorry for yourself. - Admit your imperfection .
Try to realistically assess your strengths, do not overload yourself with impossible tasks, do not chase the championship in the "ideal mother" contest. Allow yourself to be an ordinary, not perfect person. - Look for helpers.
First of all, you should seek help from your closest ones – your husband, grandparents, other relatives and close friends. Do not refuse their help with the child, housework, etc. Often, if a person does not ask, it is believed that he does not need help. Therefore, do not hesitate to directly and openly ask for it! Remember, no one and nothing can replace a mother for a child, and a tired mother is a depleted resource . If you don't feel comfortable asking for help for yourself, ask for it for your child.Electronic assistants will also come in handy - washing machines, multicookers, robotic vacuum cleaners - this is everything that will help you unload your time. The help of a babysitter, at times, will also be very helpful.
- Get enough sleep .
Regular lack of sleep after a while leads to physical and nervous exhaustion, which only aggravates the situation. The best way is to go to bed during the day with the baby if the baby does not sleep well at night. - Remind yourself that every mother is first and foremost a woman . You need to give yourself the opportunity to be this very woman by turning off the “mother” mode for a while. Namely - go to the movies with a friend, soak in a bubble bath, buy yourself a beautiful dress, in the end.
- Find moments in your life that make you happy in the little things and use them:
favorite movie, walk in the fresh air, hugs with loved ones. It has been proven that hugging your newborn baby instantly increases endorphin levels in the blood. Simply put - if you are sad - just pick up and hug your baby to you. Tired hands? Use a sling! - Don't ignore burnout symptoms! The state of fatigue in the absence of the necessary rest and recovery only progresses, eventually leading to depression, which will require professional help. Remember that children remember and read everything, so it is very important to show them the right example of how to treat yourself.