Crazy making definition
"Crazy"-Making | Psychology Today
One of the most insidious and damaging of the behaviors of the emotional abuser is the “crazy”-making behavior. Not only does the emotional abuser often accuse his victim of literally being “crazy” or gaslight to try to trick the abused into thinking she must be “crazy,” but he actually uses what we call “crazy”-making behaviors, which have the same effect.
What is a “crazy”-making behavior? It is behavior that is made to sound very logical and practical, but which actually makes no sense and/or serves to give options that only punish the abused. The double-bind is one of the primary “crazy”-making behaviors.
The double-bind was once considered, among mental health professionals, to be the cause of schizophrenia. This old theory has now gone the way of all old theories, but this fact serves to demonstrate how profoundly disturbing this kind of behavior is. It puts the abused into such a position that she is damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t.
Imagine driving down a highway that posts a sign saying, “Do not read this sign under penalty of law.” We are, as good drivers, obligated by law to read all signs, but here is a sign we are supposed to read that tells us that if we read it we might suffer the penalty of law. We are going to read it. But then we have to look over our shoulders for the enforcement of the penalty of law. If we don’t read it, we are breaking the law. If we do read it, we are breaking the law. We are damned if we do and damned if we don’t.
The double-bind is like that. The wife leaves instructions for her husband to feed and bathe the kids that night because she’s going to be late. He does feed them and bathe them, but when she gets home, she is furious because he didn’t do the tasks as she would have done them. Nothing he has done is “correct,” according to her, and she tells him just to leave it to her next time, because “you don’t know what you are doing.”
So, the next time she is going to be late, he just waits for her to come home and offers to help her with the tasks.
But she is furious again, telling him that he just doesn’t care about her because if he did, he wouldn’t have left this task to her. Further, he obviously doesn’t care about the kids either or he would have taken care of them. He is left trying to figure out how he can do anything right—because he’s damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t.
Traversing the Inner Terrain
Source: Andrea Mathews
Or, the husband communicates to his wife that his love language is touch, and that he will feel really loved whenever she shows affection. But every time she shows him affection or reaches out to touch him in any way, he reacts angrily or with a cold shoulder. So, she gives him more space—because that’s obviously what he wants, right? Later, he complains that she doesn’t touch him enough. She is damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t.
Another form of “crazy”-making is found in the making of fury. The husband has cheated on his wife again. She has caught him for the third time—this time having purchased a negligee for his latest fling.
She is ready to throw in the towel, but he begs her to stay, saying that he will change and that he’s really sorry. But she’s not buying it this time. She’s heard all of this before. Now, she’s just furious. She begins to just let him have it, telling him all of the things he’s done that demonstrate to her that he doesn’t really care about her—so why won’t he just let her go? He sits back in his easy chair and smiles and says, “Just look how crazy you are acting—who wants to be around that?!” She begins to wonder if she is really the problem here. Maybe he cheats because she acts “crazy.”
“Crazy”-making is not necessarily conscious on the part of the emotional abuser, but it is often very effective in intimidating the recipient into wondering where she or he may find the logic—where might she or he do something practical that will offer solutions to the problems in this relationship. As we can see here, however, problem solving is not really an option with “crazy”-making. No, the emotional abuser, like any other abuser, wants control, not solutions.
How to Handle a Crazymaker
A mother gave her son two ties for an upcoming family occasion. She then got mad at him when he showed up at the party wearing one of them. She wanted him to wear the other one.
Years later, after the son had grown up and married, he presented his wife with two dresses for their anniversary dinner. He then got upset with her for wearing the wrong dress of the two.
A few years later, after the couple had a daughter, his wife accused the daughter of hugging the wrong parent first—even if the little girl switched whom she hugged each time.
Crazymakers come in all shapes and sizes—and can have good and bad intentions. Some know they are being manipulative and oppressive. Others haven’t got a clue. Some engage in their tactics consistently. Others provide intermittent surprise attacks. The challenge is to recognize the behavior, assess if it’s from a healthy or unhealthy place, and then employ the proper strategies to stay sane and empower yourself.
Crazymaking is when a person sets you up to lose, as in the examples above: You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. You’re put in lose-lose situations, but too many games are being played for you to reason yourself out of it. There is no rhyme, reason, or emotional understanding with a crazymaker. Worse, when the behavior is stealthy and confusing, it becomes easy to feel crazy. It feels like you’re caught in a whirlwind of chaos, with the life force being sucked from you as you are manipulated with nonstop crazymaking tactics.
The Top 3 Crazymaker Types
Narcissists. The granddaddy of all crazymakers. Narcissists cannot empathize with anyone, meaning they cannot relate to your feelings. They only feel their own wants and needs. They are emotionally stunted, like a perpetually demanding 2-year-old. It is always about them. However, they can be extremely charming and charismatic, as they have learned how to be the greatest salespeople to get their needs met.
They can charm and mimic compassion for brief moments in order to get their needs satisfied. They expect only the best and can be the most materialistic—demanding trophy-relationships, endless objects of success, only well-known acquaintances, top-notch services, lavish vacations, etc. They have disdain for emotions in others and often think even less of people close to them. They try to control everyone around them and will use every available tactic to gain control. Many high-ranking executives are narcissists and consequently tend to create a narcissistic culture in their company or division.
Drama-cultivators. Whether histrionic or borderline or a version of other similar diagnosable personalities, the drama-cultivator is best known for their perpetual crises. They are like Chicken Little screaming “The sky is falling!” but they expect you to fix it. Now—and on their terms. Some people do experience an excess of rough times (and it’s true that a lot of crises can happen in one burst), but the drama-cultivator has an overabundance of crises because, for them, everything is a crisis.
They expend their energy and yours responding to crises. They cannot empathize with others because they are too wrapped up in their chaos. Yet, they need you and your energy and don’t want you to leave them, so they go to great lengths to get and keep your attention. Like a wounded child, they also swing from loving and supporting you to getting angry and detesting you. Their moods and responses are inconsistent and dealing with them feels like you are walking in a field of landmines.
Stealth-bombers. They look like roses compared to the narcissist and drama-cultivator, but beware their sharp thorns. These highly dependent people try to please you, but the nice things they do have a cost. They are the martyr that keeps score. Like a stealth bomber, just when you think everything is OK, they get you. Their modus operandi is to sabotage you while they look innocent. For instance, they will commit to doing something when they really don’t want to do it and then consistently bail out at the last minute.
Or they’ll conveniently forget. Perhaps they’ll run late and miss the deadline. Everyone has these experiences now and again, but stealth-bombers do it all the time and they get you to feel guilty about it. They will make up excuses with the most ambiguous details, then sulk and act like a victim if you get upset. They will conveniently lose items, forget dates, miss deadlines, ruin plans, and then become sad and withdrawn because they’ve tried so hard.
4 Common Crazymaker Tactics
It is imperative to know if you’re dealing with a crazymaker in the first place. However, there's a tendency to be a little blind to the possibility if the person is a loved one or someone close. We end up taking that person’s behavior personally and believing that the crazymaker in our life could change if they wanted to. We also expect the crazymaker to play by the same communication and etiquette “rules” as everyone else. But they can’t. Crazymakers don't play by the same rules as you.
You’ll save yourself a lot of headaches and energy if you realize this now and stop trying to make the crazymaker in your life dance to your song.
1. The double-bind. Double-binds are negative messages disguised in a positive message or gesture. The double-bind sets you up to lose, as in the example above with the mother and the two ties. It can also be as subtle as a person giving a scolding look while saying, “I love you.” The insult about choosing the wrong tie is cloaked in the gift of the tie. The son is trapped because if he complains, the mother can say he doesn’t appreciate the gift. The “I love you” is coupled with an angry look, so one is prevented from addressing the look because the counter-argument might be, “But I said I love you." Double-binds happen all of the time. Start paying attention and you’ll be appalled by the frequency. Crazymakers employ this tactic most often.
2. Inconsistent praise. Crazymakers are superior at giving inconsistent praise.
They are all adept at keeping you on your toes and getting you to beg for their praise. There’s a scientific explanation for it: Inconsistent praise tends to elicit desired behavior the most. Numerous animal researchers have discovered that the best way to train an animal is with an inconsistent reward. This is why gambling can be so addictive—it provides an inconsistent reward. We literally get hooked. Crazymakers have figured this out and provide the people around them with inconsistent praise. Sometimes they are just so loving, present, or flattering that it feels good. Then it’s gone. Some people get hooked and continue to put up with crazymaking behavior because they are waiting for the payoff—the praise. In fact, a crazymaker’s praise probably does feel better to you than praise from a person who is consistent with it. But, like gambling, it can be an addictive high that also has a queasy, unsettling feeling to it—along with a high cost.
3. Selective memory. We all have selective memories, but crazymakers exceptionally so.
They conveniently forget any problems you’ve had with them when they want something from you. Then they throw every wrong you’ve ever done in your face when they are upset with you. Again, the key is that it’s inconsistent. You never know what your review will be like because it depends on their mood. You know that the only thing you can depend on with a crazymaker is that you can’t depend on consistency. They will hold a grudge but expect you to forget any disruptions. They will manipulate like crazy and use their selective memory as ammunition.
4. Impossible to empathize. Crazymakers cannot empathize. They will simply not be able to understand your feelings or situation. They might try to give you a sense that they understand, but they can’t sit with it very long and generally turn the conversation back onto their feelings or situation. This is an important point: Empathy is a developmental trait. A child at age 4 begins to play with others in a more cooperative fashion.
Prior to that, if they are with other children, they are still most likely playing in an individual fashion (serial play). That’s normal because they haven’t developmentally learned to share and take turns. When such skills kick in, empathy does as well. Typically, a crazymaker has not developed empathy, so they are more like a 2-year-old emotionally. Knowing this is critical to protecting yourself in a power struggle.
Keeping strong boundaries is the key to dealing with a crazymaker.
4 Strategies for Dealing With a Crazymaker
- Take an observer's point of view. There’s something about detaching and seeing a crazymaker from an observer point of view that helps you not get entangled in their mess. It’s almost like listening to someone speaking a different language. All of a sudden, their attacks seem silly and confirm to you that they are dancing to a different tune. Letting go can be the biggest power struggle deflator of all. It can also save your sanity because you can stop yourself from engaging in a needless battle—or feeling the sting of a double-bind.
- Maintain a healthy sense of self-worth. Sometimes we attract crazymakers in our life because they reflect our own lack of self-worth. We let bullies bully us because we somehow feel we deserve it on some level. We teach people how to treat us and often reinforce crazymaking behavior in our lives through accepting it. Don’t. Start telling yourself you are worth more. You can’t really ask for something from somebody else if you aren’t giving it to yourself first. So, love and respect yourself. Be gentle with yourself—especially when dealing with a crazymaker. As proof, notice if the crazymaker in your life treats other people better than you. Pay attention and notice if those people exude a higher sense of self-worth. That might be a clue to improve your own self-worth through positive self-talk and care.
- Keep a healthy distance. Do you really have to have the crazymaker in your life, or can you just keep a healthy distance? Are you in a trap of believing that you will be worth more if the crazymaker finally treats you better? They probably won’t, so don’t be afraid to move on.
Narcissists need an audience; drama-cultivators require others to maintain drama; and stealth-bombers are dependent. In other words, you are the dance partner in their crazymaking dance and you can choose to stop dancing with them. There are other jobs and other friends that are healthy. If it’s a relative, you can still keep a healthy distance. Keep visits short and reward yourself afterward with nurturing care and positive self-talk. - Cultivate internal validation. Sometimes people won’t play fair. They’ll use crazymaking tactics and engage in power struggles to feel better about themselves. You can play into it and escalate the battle or you can take the higher road. Taking the higher road includes finding internal strength. Some refer to it as spirituality. Some feel it from the heart. It’s that endless supply inside that rejuvenates you and causes people to become resilient in the face of the most challenging adversity. It is the source of hope. Tapping into it is proof that you’ve developed a good boundary.
People cannot drain your energy field because it’s directly tied into the abundant source of courage, hope and love. You don’t have boundary leaks because you are no longer dependent on external validation. Fear is replaced with faith that the source of hope is abundant inside. Your heart is not hardened and your mind is not cynical. You are fully adaptable to change and at peace. In short, you are the change you want to see and you are modeling it for the world.
InterpretationTranslation
- crazy
-
- crazy
-
adj. , used often
Morphology: nar. crazy
1. A madman is a person who suffers from a mental disorder.
Crazy old man. | Quiet, violent lunatic. | They take him for a madman.
2. Crazy refers to those features of a person's appearance, behavior, which indicate a mental disorder, anxiety, etc.
Crazy look. | Crazy eyes.
3. Insane Asylum is a hospital for the mentally ill.
Place, hide someone in a madhouse.
4. Crazy is the one who acts thoughtlessly, recklessly.
You're crazy, why did you do that?
5. When someone runs, rushes, rushes like crazy , he runs very fast.
6. When someone shouts, yells, etc. like a madman , he shouts very loudly.
7.
Crazy call what is characteristic of a reckless person. Crazy act.
8. Crazy is what happens with great intensity.
Crazy run. | Crazy downpour.
9. Crazy is what is devoid of common sense.
Crazy idea, thought. | Crazy plans.
Dmitriev's Explanatory Dictionary of the Russian Language. D.V. Dmitriev. 2003.
.
We will help you write a term paper
Synonyms , exceptional, frenzied, cunning, kreza, krezanuty, krezovy, crazy, rat-headed, the roof is going, the roof is floating, the roof is gone, the roof is floating, the roof is leaking, the roof is leaking, the roof is leaking, the roof has moved out, the roof is flowing, maydanuty, sloppy, mandrapapupa, maniacal, maniac, brainwashed, dysfunctional on the tower, out of his mind, not all at home, insane, berserk, deranged, obsessed, frostbitten, mentally damaged, half-witted, demented, screwed up, jacked up, slammed, crazy, mental, psychotic, psychopath, crazy, crazy, whistling, phase shift, strong, spoken, mournful in head, mournful in mind, jiggly, nutty, sumatik, quiet-crazed, tr gasped, touched, touched in the mind, touched by the brains, touched by the mind, poked, the mind has gone beyond the mind, insane, bruised, fucked up, fucked up, fucked up, fucked up, teapot, cheburahnuty, minted, the attic is out of order, crazy, fucked up, plague, distemper, plague truck, naughty, crazy, the balls for the baby drove, the balls for the baby jumped, the balls for the baby jumped, the balls for the baby came in, the balls for the rollers drove in, the balls for the rollers jumped, the balls jumped for the rollers, the balls went for the rollers, crazy, schizo, schiza, schizanuty, schizo, shyznyak, schizo, schizo, schizoid, shizuha, schizo, holy fool, furious, ardent
- judgment
- manage
Useful
The name Crazy: the meaning of the name, origin, fate, character, nationality, translation, spelling What does the name Crazy mean? What does the name Crazy mean for a person? What is the meaning of the name Crazy, the origin, fate and character of the carrier? What nationality is the name Crazy? How is the name Crazy translated? How to spell Crazy's name correctly? Compatibility with the name Crazy - a suitable color, amulets, patron planet and zodiac sign.
You can read the full description of the name Crazy and its detailed analysis online in this article for free. Contents of the interpretation of the name
Analysis of the name Crazy
The name Crazy consists of 11 letters. After analyzing the meaning of each letter in the name Crazy, you can understand its secret meaning and hidden meaning.
" The desire to find a rational explanation for everything. Stubbornness under the guise of complacency and even internal rigidity. 
Perceptive, understand the world of secrets. Chatty. A strong love of travel, in life such people can often change their place of residence, restless. 
They act as a mediator in conflicts. Perceptive, understand the world of secrets. Chatty. A strong love of travel, in life such people can often change their place of residence, restless. The meaning of the name Crazy in numerology
Numerology of the name Crazy can suggest not only the main qualities and character of a person. But also determine his fate, show success in his personal life, give information about his career, decipher fateful signs and even predict the future. The number of the name Crazy in numerology is 5. The motto of the name Crazy and fives in life: “I am free like a bird!”
- The patron planet for the name Crazy is Mercury.
- Zodiac sign for the name Crazy - Gemini, Aquarius.
- Stones-talismans for the name Crazy - alexandrite, carnelian, heliodor, peridot, zincite.
"Five" in the numerological core is a sign of striving for absolute freedom and complete rejection of any rules and restrictions.
"Five" in the numbers of the name - the Number of Expression, the Number of the Soul and the Number of the external appearance - evidence of the presence of abilities characteristic of this number. In particular, the ability to find a common language with everyone who is of interest. People with the name Crazy, who are patronized by the number 5 in numerology, have pronounced abilities for commerce, therefore their interests are often concentrated in this direction.
Adventurous, fives appreciate the thrill and change in life. These people do not tolerate monotony, quickly losing interest in any monotonous activity. Often they are unpredictable, able to quickly change their minds, and therefore are not reliable.
Five named Crazy is a bright personality. She may be surrounded by friends, but is very good at handling all problems on her own. Geniuses are often born. There are two types of Fives. It can be a person with a strong will, self-confident. And vice versa, weak-willed, but talented, who distributes his talents to everyone.
The Five is often lazy, dislikes long runs, more of a sprinter than a long-distance runner. Therefore, it is easier and better for the Five to learn something in an intensive way. Five is the number of inspiration, serves as a Muse for others. A five named Crazy is always on the move, cannot stand routine, cannot stay within four walls for a long time. Five has good intuition. Very sensitive to smells and tastes. Passion for mysticism can give the Five the missing adventure in life. Boredom and routine are her enemies, so freedom and new experiences can please the Five with the name Crazy.
- The influence of the name Crazy on the profession and career. Despite a fairly solid baggage of innate qualities, there are not too many opportunities for professional self-realization. The best option that the number five offers is your own business that matches your interests. One where at each stage situations will arise that require the use of all abilities and talents.
Suitable professions: reformer, inventor, freelancer, photographer. Any profession related to business trips. - The influence of the name Crazy on personal life. The personal life of the "fives" often becomes the subject of the liveliest interest and constant discussion for their friends and acquaintances. Fives are very freedom-loving, do not like restrictions and show their independence in everything. It is difficult for them to find an ideal soul mate, and they can do this for a long time. They need a partner who will trust them and accept their desire to diversify their lives. Fives with the name Crazy fit threes, sevens and nines.
The patron planet of the name Crazy
The number 5 for the name Crazy means the planet Mercury. People of this type have an extremely lively and resourceful mind. Bearers of the name Crazy tend to take the initiative, love novelty and frequent change of scenery. They don't have routine. People with the name Crazy take on any job, and it literally burns in their hands.
Everything works out for Mercury, everything is arguable. Agility is in their blood. The owners of the name Crazy do everything quickly, think quickly, make decisions quickly. People named Crazy, under the influence of the planet Mercury, are drawn to knowledge, are self-critical and know how to criticize friends, but they do it gently and to the point, without offending a person in any way. As a rule, they succeed, but if they suddenly fail in business, they quickly become discouraged. The charm possessed by people with the name Crazy replaces many other qualities necessary for them in family life. They do not like to run a household, but show interest in all aspects of life. People of this type find a common language with representatives of almost all types.
Signs of the zodiac named Crazy
The following zodiac signs are suitable for the name Crazy:
They live under the control of Mercury, belong to the air element, therefore they are windy, changeable, but very friendly. Silencing a Gemini named Crazy is impossible. Tryndet until the loss of pulse - this is their secret weapon. Therefore, the owners of the name Crazy converge very well with Aquarius - lock them in the same room for the night, by morning they will become best friends and will plan to take over the world and coup d'état. Despite their talkativeness, people with the name Crazy are reasonable and extremely logical - in their world everything is sorted out, and any outside interference is sharply suppressed. They themselves know how to. Although the owners of the name Crazy do not refuse friendly advice, like any Gemini. Color of the name Crazy
Blue color of the name Crazy. People with the name Crazy, wearing blue, are trusting and talented. The owners of the name Crazy do not like conflicts, therefore they bypass them - they are even ready to ask for forgiveness from the offender, only so that no one harbors anger at them in their souls. It is very easy to be friends and work with bearers of the name Crazy, but in the family they often have disagreements, as they are ready to give up everything for the sake of friends who are allegedly in trouble. But once the friend is saved, the apology to the family will be so sincere that it is impossible not to forgive them. Positive character traits for the name Crazy are creativity and creativity, conflict-free. The negative character traits of the name Crazy are some irresponsibility and dependence on the opinions of others.
How to spell the name Crazy
In Russian, the correct spelling of this name is Crazy. In English, the name Crazy can have the following spelling - Sumasshedshee.