Broken heart into pieces

18 Things to Remember When Your Heart is Breaking

“Don’t cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won’t let you see the stars.”
— Violeta Parra

It’s a dull, subdued sensation, when your heart is breaking, like the muffled sound of a distant gunshot. It doesn’t physically pierce your skin or tear you to pieces, but the sensation is physically present – the paralyzing discomfort of realizing that something you took for granted is leaving for good.

Although it’s hard to accept at first, this is actually a good sign, having a broken heart. It means you have loved something, you have tried for something, and you have let life teach you.

Life will attempt to break you down sometimes; nothing and no one can completely protect you from this reality. Remaining alone and hiding from the world won’t either, for endless, stagnant solitude will also break you with unhealthy nostalgia and yearning.

You have to stand back up and put yourself out there again. Your heart is stronger than you realize. I’ve been there and I’ve seen heartbreak through to the other side. It takes time and patience.

Deep heartbreak is kind of like being lost in the woods – every direction leads to nowhere at first. When you are standing in a forest of darkness, you cannot see any light that could ever lead you home. But if you wait for the sun to rise again, and listen when someone assures you that they themselves have stood in that same dark place, and have since moved forward with their life, oftentimes this will bring the hope that’s needed.

It’s so hard to give you advice when you’ve got a broken heart, but some words can heal, and this is my attempt to give you hope. You are stronger than you know!

Please remember…

The genuine, loving emotion that breaks your heart is oftentimes the same emotion that will heal it, gradually, over time.
The person you liked or loved in the past, who treated you like dirt repeatedly, has nothing intellectually or spiritually to offer you in the present moment, but more headaches and heartache.
You can mull it over and obsess and obsess about how things turned out – what you did wrong or should have done differently – but there’s no point. It will NOT change anything right now!
Some chapters in our lives have to close without closure. There’s no point in losing yourself by trying to hold on to what’s not meant to stay.
Seven letters. Two words. One saying. It can either cut you open to the core and leave you in horrific pain, or it can free your heart and soul and lift an incredible weight off your shoulders. The saying is: It’s over!
When you don’t get what you want, sometimes it’s necessary preparation, and other times it’s necessary protection. But the time is never wasted. It’s a step on your journey. (Read The Road Less Traveled.)
Someday you’re going look back on this time in your life as such an important time of grieving and growing. You will see that you were in mourning and your heart was breaking, but your life was changing.
Transitions in life are the perfect opportunity to let go of one situation to embrace something even better coming your way.
One of the hardest lessons to learn: You cannot change other people. Every interaction, rejection and heartbreaking lesson is an opportunity to change yourself only.
Be determined to be positive. Understand that the greater part of your misery or unhappiness from this point forward is determined not by your circumstances, but by your attitude.
Life and God both have greater plans for you that don’t involve crying at night or believing that you’re broken.
It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company. And when you do decide to give someone a chance, do so because you’re truly better off with this person. Don’t do it just for the sake of not being alone.
When someone rejects you it doesn’t mean you need to also reject yourself or think of yourself as less worthy. It doesn’t mean that nobody will ever want you anymore. Remember that there are billions of people in the world and only ONE person has rejected you. And it only hurts so bad right now because, to you, that one person’s opinion represented the opinion of the whole world. But that’s not the truth.
Sometimes it takes a broken heart to shake you awake and help you see that you are worth so much more than you were settling for. (Marc and I discuss this in more detail in the “Self-Love” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
When you lose someone or something, don’t think of it as a loss, but as a gift that lightens your load so you can better travel the path meant for you.
Anything that hurts you today only makes you stronger in the end.
When all is said and done, grief is the price you pay for love. And it’s better to have loved, lost and learned, than to have never loved at all.
A broken heart is just the growing pains necessary so that you can love more completely when the real thing comes along.

Afterthoughts

You are human and the human heart breaks sometimes. Don’t fight it – fight through it!

Give yourself a chance to love again, to feel again, and to live again.

You are alive and here to risk your heart by putting it into something you believe in, as many times as it takes. If you avoid taking this chance, one thing is certain, you will make it safely to the end, feeling empty and unfulfilled.

Don’t do that to yourself.

You deserve better.

Your turn…

In what ways have you struggled with heartbreak? How have you coped? Please leave a comment below and share your insights with us.

Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

Photo by: Sarah Tett

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Broken Heart Syndrome: a disease "out of the head" from which you can die

March 5, 2019

Image copyright, Getty Images

Your heart can suffer after some unfortunate event, and your brain is most likely responsible for your "heartbreak", experts say.

Swiss scientists are conducting a study on the so-called "broken heart syndrome".

Psychological stress can cause acute transient left ventricular dysfunction. The syndrome is manifested by the sudden development of heart failure or chest pain, combined with ECG changes characteristic of myocardial infarction of the anterior wall of the left ventricle.

Scientists have found out how stress causes heart disease

Most often, this syndrome develops against the background of stressful situations that cause strong, often sharply negative, emotions. Such events can be the death of a loved one or separation.

Scientists do not yet have complete clarity on how this happens. In the publication of scientists in the medical journal European Heart Journal, it is suggested that the syndrome is provoked by the brain's response to stress.

The "broken heart syndrome" was first described by the Japanese scientist Hikaru Sato in 1990 and was named "takotsubo cardiomyopathy" (from the Japanese "takotsubo" - a ceramic pot with a round base and a narrow neck).

Image copyright Getty Images

This is different from a "normal" heart attack, when blood flow to the heart muscle is blocked. Blockage of blood flow to the heart occurs when there is a blood clot in the coronary arteries.

However, the symptoms of broken heart syndrome and heart attack are similar in many ways, most notably difficulty breathing and chest pain.

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Often some sad event is a kind of trigger that provokes the onset of the syndrome. However, joyful events that cause strong emotions can also lead to the development of broken heart syndrome. For example, getting married or getting a new job.

Broken heart syndrome can be temporary, in which case the heart muscle will recover in a few days, weeks or months, and in some cases the syndrome can be fatal.

In Britain, about 2500 patients are diagnosed with broken heart syndrome each year.

Image copyright Christian Templin, University Hospital Zurich

Image caption

X-ray of the heart of a person diagnosed with takotsubo syndrome

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The exact cause of broken heart syndrome is unknown to scientists. However, it is suggested that this syndrome may be associated with an increase in the level of stress hormones - for example, adrenaline.

Elena Gadri from the University Hospital Zurich, together with her colleagues, studied the brain activity of 15 patients diagnosed with broken heart syndrome.

Imaging data showed significant differences in the brain activity of these patients from that observed in 39 participants in the control group, who were healthy.

Much less communication has been noted between the areas of the brain responsible for controlling emotions and the body's unconscious (automatic) responses (such as the heartbeat).

"Emotions are formed in the brain, so it is quite possible that the disease is formed in the brain. And then the brain sends the appropriate signals to the heart," says Gadry.

Further research is needed to understand the mechanism of the syndrome.

The Swiss scientists who conducted the study had no CT scans of the patients before they were diagnosed with broken heart syndrome. Therefore, researchers cannot claim that the reduction in connections between different parts of the brain was a consequence of the development of the syndrome, or that the syndrome developed due to the reduction in connections.

"This is a very important part of the study, it will help us better understand the nature of this syndrome, which is often overlooked, and it continues to be a mystery to us," says Joel Rose, head of the British organization Cardiomyopathy.

"These studies will help us understand what role the brain plays in the syndrome and why some people are affected and others are not," says Joel Rose.

"These observations confirm our long-standing assumption about the special role of the connection between the brain and heart in the formation of takotsubo cardiomyopathy," says researcher Dana Dawson from the British Heart Foundation.

The path to adulthood lies through a broken heart

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Man among menKnow thyself

Friendship

Friendship is a reflection of our presence in life and evidence of forgiveness. Friendship not only helps us see ourselves through the eyes of another, it can only endure for years with someone who forgives us for our mistakes again and again, just as we find the strength in ourselves to forgive friends in turn. A true friend knows our struggles and our Shadow and stays by our side—more often when we are vulnerable and weak than when we are successful and under the strange delusion that we don't need friends.

***

The deep current of true friendship is a blessing because we can discover it in its original form again and again through understanding and compassion. No matter how long friendship lasts, it is based on constant, mutual forgiveness. Without tolerance and compassion, friendship perishes.

***

As the years go by, close friendship always reveals a shadow side in the other person as well as in ourselves. To remain friends, we must know the other, his difficulties and even sins, and bring out the best in him - not by attacking with criticism, but by turning to the best in him, to the main creative facet of his personality, thus imperceptibly weakening that which diminishes him, makes you less generous, doesn't let you be yourself.

***

The highest measure of friendship - is not the improvement of oneself or others, the highest measure is to be a witness. The privilege to open up under the loving gaze of friends and exactly the same privilege - to be honored to see the most intimate in close friends, go through life with them and believe in them, sometimes just accompany them, even for a very short time, on a journey that is not given to anyone accomplish alone.

About a broken heart

It is impossible to protect yourself from disappointments, sadness, grief. A broken heart is a natural result of our love and care for someone or something over which we have no control ... The first crack in the heart appears when we are asked to let go, but we are unable to, in other words, disappointment and sadness settle in us, color and increase, as if under a magnifying glass, every single day; a broken heart is not a short-term phenomenon, it is a road that everyone, even the most ordinary, “average” person is forced to go.

***

A broken heart is a sign of our sincerity: in love, in work, in an attempt to master a musical instrument, in an attempt to become more generous. A broken heart is a beautiful helpless part of love, its essence and emblem.

***

The path to adulthood lies through a broken heart; and yet we say "broken heart" as if it meant only that something went wrong: love was not reciprocated, the dream was shattered. But perhaps a broken heart is the core of our human existence, the main thing on the way from here to the other side, thanks to it we learn to love what we meet on our way. There is almost no road available to man that does not lead to a broken heart.

***

We can look at disappointment and grief in a different way: not as the end of the road or the death of hope, but as a strong embrace of what we have always wanted or is about to lose. A broken heart asks us not to look for another way, because there is no other way. It calls us to what we love and have always loved, asking the inevitable and often beautiful question.

***

The things and people that have been with us from the beginning ask us to be ready when the time comes to let go one last time.

About love

We, as human beings, have a wonderful ability - we can fall in love with a person, with a job, and even with the idea of our own existence.

***

Being in love enhances the sense of time. You feel that it is running away like sand. Only when we fall in love, we feel the present moment more acutely than ever and understand that what is available to us now may never happen again.

***

Love is the mirror of our own fleeting possibilities; inner sense of self. Love is a test of self-worth: I cannot believe that I am exactly what they think of me to let love into my life. Love comes to us, but at the same time it is a form of disappearance. The worker must stop working in order to enjoy the fruits of his labors. Love wouldn't be so valuable if it never ended.

***

There is no greater gift in human life than the opportunity to be happy through falling in love, through this complete dedication and daily comfort that the feeling of love brings. Love reminds us of our mortality, but at the same time that there is a power greater than death that we cannot control.

Learn more