All men cheat
Why Do Guys Cheat: The Psychology Behind Cheating
Every man cheats. This seems to be the common assumption in our minds, especially ladies. Men are not trustworthy, they are easily tempted, and they have commitment issues.
Say your husband often comes home late and explains as “I have to work”, or you catch your boyfriend looking at some other girl’s profiles, do you associate these actions with cheating?
Yes, men do cheat but not all of them. (And women do cheat too) And it’s not always because they don’t love their significant others anymore. So why do guys cheat? There are more reasons as to why they cheat on their loved once.
The reasons why men cheat may come as a surprise.
Before I explain anything, you must understand that relationships and emotional feelings are psychological drives. There’s a constant vibration of hormones or chemical substances within the body when the opposite sex is close by, and often it is unfortunate that women around men isn’t their loved ones.
However, this doesn’t stop those chemical vibrations within the body. So what happens next? They are tempted. And of course, they may cheat if tempted beyond their capabilities.
While today’s research confirms an estimate of 25-75% of married men cheating on their loved ones, it reveals that not all men cheat. It also exposes hidden facts about the reasons why men engage in this act of infidelity. Most of these reasons may shock you and here are some psychological evidences to explain the reasons you thought why men cheat.
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1. Some men actually cheat to save their marriages.
Many people believes most cheating men are unhappy with their marriages, but this is just a myth. A study by Rutgers University reveals almost 56% of cheating men claims to be happy with their marriages, and in fact, they aren’t looking for a way to opt out of it or will they allow anything to threaten their marriages.
Because most men have challenges solving their relationship problems, they believe another woman may just satisfy their thirst for sexual urge so they go for it. They feel they can live happily with their wives, without longing for anything that displeases her; but they simply leave the real issue unaddressed.
2. They lack discipline but they still love their wives.
You may be wrong if you believe men cheats because they don’t love their wives. Cheating has nothing to do with love. In fact, it has everything to do with discipline. It’s not love that stimulates hormonal vibrations within the body, but sight and touch do. It takes discipline and self-control for a man to overcome the alluring beauty, soft touch and romantic voice of his colleague or female friend. These, of course, must initiate the chemical substances within his body and makes him want to make advancements just to calm this urge down.
3. Most of them cheat because they are sexually active.
I believe you understand what I mean.
A common infidelity incidence with my age-long friend Amanda reveals that sexually active men who gains praises from their wives for their sexual strength believes as long as they can satisfy their wives and act normal at home, it doesn’t matter if they cheat, and of course, it won’t cause a problem with their marriages either.
“Despite all the information about his cheating habit, I was waiting for a time he’ll tell me he can’t have a time with me or he is too tired to make love to me to confirm he was actually cheating, but that time was forever,” said Amanda. If you’re actually waiting for him to show you the signs like Amanda, unfortunately, you may just wait forever.
4. They don’t want to be over-demanding for sex.
Tonny once told me, “Lily, sometimes I don’t just want my wife to think I’m overly demanding for sex, so I take a chance out.” But what Tonny never told me is if his wife actually complained about his sex habits. That’s what I guessed though!
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Most men don’t want their wives to find out their weaknesses and use against them.
They cheat because they want to avoid being helpless when their wives takes advantage of their weaknesses.
5. Being overly confident of a relationship can lead to cheating too.
Have you ever said to someone you won’t leave them no matter what? So what happened next? I guess he was the one who cheated on you?
Jim was a childhood friend who I spent most of my times with until after our college years. I said secret prayers everyday for God to give him the courage to walk up to me and say these three golden words — I love you. Have you had such feelings before? Have you been so tempted as a woman to the point where the only thing stopping you from taking the initiative to confess your love for him is just your feminine ego? Yes, that was me.
You can imagine the joy when he finally walked up to me and said secretly…Lily, I love you. I felt butterflies hovering all over the inside of me and I could not hold my confession back. The feelings were so strong that I couldn’t think of a future without Jim.
But my over-confidence made him took away the love I prayed secretly for. Even when I caught him cheating, it took him a long time to apologize because he felt I can’t do anything. I waited for him…I was waiting just for his apologies and rushing back into his arms.
But it was too late, we both lost the love we nursed from childhood because of our over-confidence.
When you look at infidelity, it’s a serious problem that can tear beautiful relationships apart in just a moment, and once this betrayal of trust is noticed, it could hardly be built back. So, it is very important to know when a man is cheating on you.
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So, how can I spot a cheating man?
Understand the cheating phenomenon
You need to understand showers of love and cheers don’t mean he isn’t a cheat. When men cheat, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you.
They simply lack self-discipline or control.
Stop looking for signs or waiting for his misbehavior
Most cheating men aren’t spotted because what we believe as the reasons for cheating are just myths. One of the surest ways to save your marriage is to understand the cheating phenomenon. The subject of cheating is to be studied and understood and not merely looking for signs or misbehavior. One major problem with spotting cheating men is, “you can hardly get them when they already know you’re looking for misbehavior and or faulty signs because they are smart”.
But, what can I do about this?You must first change the mindset that a cheating man doesn’t love you.
Because he does really and truly love you. Learn to understand the psychology of cheating and endeavors to play your role as a woman to both being friendly and accommodating.
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Take responsibility for your contributions in his cheating habit fast and make things right.
No one is beyond redemption especially if you love them so, you must learn to forgive when they sincerely apologize for their misdeeds.
Expect him to change but not so fast.
He will not become a saint at dawn and along the way you have a big role to play in rehabilitating him but keeping your eyes open for changes along the process.
Finally, know when to walk away.
If he doesn’t change after all your efforts, understand it’s time to move on because you deserve to be happy and loved.
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Featured photo credit: Flaticon via flaticon.com
What Percentage of Men Cheat?
It’s every woman’s worst nightmare: finding out their husband had an affair. While it’s true that people of all genders cheat, nearly every study on extramarital affairs shows that men are more likely to commit adultery than women.
Infidelity is, unfortunately, a common occurrence in married couples, and even men who firmly believe they would never cheat on their spouse can still find themselves in sticky situations, whether it’s an emotional affair with a co-worker or a one-night stand with a stranger.
Men who are caught cheating will often try to minimize, rationalize, and justify their behavior with a million excuses, but in the end, cheating is ultimately a choice. The decision to cheat can be driven by multiple factors, none of which are an excuse for the careless decision, but it can help explain why it happened in the first place.
To understand the explanation behind what percentage of men cheat, we spoke to Briony Leo, a psychologist and head coach at Relish, a relationship coaching company.
Meet the Expert
Briony Leo is a psychologist from Melbourne, Australia, and head coach at Relish. She has a background in trauma counseling, addictions, and health and wellbeing.
What Percentage of Men Cheat?
“Research tells us that on average, around 20% of men are unfaithful to their spouse, as compared to 13% of women,” says Leo.
“Of course, the only research available is from self-report surveys, so the number might be somewhat higher—but most surveys and studies support this finding.” According to research from the University of Colorado Boulder’s Department of Psychology and Neuroscience, instances of cheating are reported more frequently by men, despite some studies that men and women engage in infidelity at similar rates.
To understand why one in five married men cheat, it’s important to consider the gender differences in attitudes towards cheating. In the aforementioned 2017 study, men were less likely to report that extramarital sex was always wrong, and more likely to view it as almost always wrong, wrong only sometimes, or not wrong at all. This indicates that not only do men cheat more than women but that they’re also more flexible in their attitude towards extramarital sex—at least when they’re the ones committing the infidelity.
At What Age Are Married Men Most Likely to Cheat?
A study from the Institute for Family Studies (IFS) uncovered some surprising data about when married men are most likely to cheat.
Before 30, the number of married men and women who cheat is about the same (10 percent versus 11 percent). However, as we age, men become more likely to stray not just in mid-life, but later in life as well. IFS reports that the infidelity rate among men in their 70s is the highest at 26 percent, and it remains high among men ages 80 and older, as 24 percent of men admit to being guilty of infidelity.
Older men are part of the Baby Boomer generation and came of age during the sexual revolution, which could explain their chronic indiscretions. Cultural ideas about marriage change with the times, as many couples can see from the way their marriage is different from their parents, in ways that could be seen as both positive and negative. As newer generations age, we’ll undoubtedly see these trends change, although only time will tell in what direction.
How Common Is Cheating in Marriage?
“Around 15-20 percent of marriages have infidelity,” explains Leo. “The Relish Relationship Report that was conducted at the end of 2020 found that around 26 percent of respondents had experienced infidelity in their marriage: 23 percent emotional, 21 percent physical, and 55 percent experiencing both emotional and physical infidelity.
”
Infidelity happens in bad marriages and in good marriages, so the idea that having a “perfect” marriage will prevent infidelity is a fallacy. People stray for a multitude of reasons, and sometimes those reasons do correlate with marital dysfunction, like insecurity, conflict avoidance, lack of connection or sex, or just plain loneliness. Other times, an affair can be a way—albeit, a potentially destructive one—of self-discovery and searching for a new or lost identity. Why would someone who is supposedly in a happy marriage risk it all for a cheap thrill?
In either case, understanding why the infidelity occurred and making sense of the actions that led up to it will most likely lead to some clarity that helps light the path for where two people go from here.
What Percent of Couples Stay Together After Infidelity?
“In general, more than half the relationships (55 percent) ended immediately after one partner admits to cheating, with 30 percent deciding to stay together but breaking up eventually, and only 15 percent of couples able to successfully recover from infidelity,” says Leo.
The future of a marriage post-affair is completely dependent on how both people process the transgression. These earth-shattering events have a way of bringing about the most honest, deepest conversations two people in a relationship can have. Of course, this all depends on if both people are willing to do the work necessary to rebuild things.
It’s the process of navigating these questions with an open and loving heart—regardless of what you want the outcome to be—that will either redefine a marriage or seal it shut. These difficult conversations are often not something you can do on your own, and it’s okay to bring in an expert to help guide you on this treacherous journey and help both people find their footing.
“Often relationship coaching or therapy is helpful since infidelity is a common issue and there are evidence-based ways of understanding and recovering from cheating,” says Leo. “Sometimes, this brings to a head issues in the relationship that had not been addressed, such as a mismatch in libidos, lack of connection, feelings of resentment or feelings of shame or loneliness.
”
Renowned relationship therapist Esther Perel says that sometimes an affair can actually help to re-shape a relationship and make it new again. In some instances of infidelity, the breach of trust and betrayal was so deep that it does, in fact, break that first marriage. The question then becomes: Would you like to create a second one together?
What to Do If You Find Out Your Fiancé Is Cheating
All men change? | PSYCHOLOGIES
27,953
Man and womanChange
One common statement completes another. On the one hand, a man cannot cope with spontaneously arising sexual desire, and therefore it is difficult for him to be satisfied with one partner.
On the other hand, a woman does not experience such outbursts of desire and is focused on family life and caring for the hearth.
The notion of male impermanence is partly true: since ancient times, a man has sought to assert himself by collecting love victories and showing them off to others.
nine0003
Mother's cares for some time can dampen the desire to seduce, but do not affect the natural tendency to infidelity
But doesn't he eventually become a hostage to this image of a tireless hunter? After all, it needs to be supported. And if he is faithful to one woman, what - it turns out that he is not a real man?
It is clear that in these circumstances those who are not inclined to cheat on their partner - and there are by no means few of them - do not ring about this. It turns out that the notorious male inconstancy is more the result of social pressure than a biological necessity. nine0003
What about the woman? Most often, for adventures on the side, she receives public censure and a reputation as a "slut".
Her possibility of self-realization seems to be connected only with childbearing. In fact, maternal care, which requires considerable physical and emotional costs, for some time can dampen her desire to please and seduce, but do not affect her natural tendency to infidelity.
Women are not as willing as men to talk about their victories, and their stories are more of a confession
Society judges women's infidelities more severely - or maybe they are less connected with the desire to assert oneself? One way or another, women are not as willing as men to talk about their victories, and their stories are more of a confession.
Meanwhile, if we believe that all men cheat, a legitimate question arises: with whom do they do it? Hardly with so-called free women.
Be that as it may, it is up to us to decide whether or not to yield to the call of passion. And if so, then choose the form and place to satisfy the sexual impulse. It is also in our power to get rid of the stereotype that only men have the right to do so. nine0003
About the Expert
Catherine Blanc is the author of La sexualite des femmes n’est pas celle des magazines.
Photo Source: Getty Images
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Do all men cheat on their wives?
#1
#2
.
.. And I do not like to deceive my wife ..
#3
#4
#5
on the topic. .. I don’t know if everyone changes, but I know those who don’t change, and they call the reason (you won’t believe it) - LAZY! There is such an acquaintance, he does not cheat on his wife, in a conversation under a shofar he admitted to me that “why do you twitch, look for a mistress, then look after her, gifts, flowers, trips to the cinema / cafe, what for all this is necessary, strain, encrypt, like that carve out time for meetings ... one big hemorrhoids :))))
#6
#
#12
husband
Because for me, drunk sleeping with a prostitute on a business trip has nothing to do with treason.
... all the more so, it happens extremely rarely
For me, treason is to keep a second family on the sly, because this is already a deception .... But I don’t like to deceive my wife ..
#13
husband
Because for me, drunk sleeping with a prostitute on a business trip has nothing to do with treason. ... all the more so, it happens extremely rarely
For me, cheating is to support a second family on the sly, because it's already a deception .... And I don't like to deceive my wife ..
#14
What?
Of course, everything. Infa 100%. nine0003
#16
Girlfriend
Yes, everything is cheating, of course
#17 9000 such a drunkard and a whore!
#18
#19
9000 9000
183 September 26, 2012, 02:02 pm
#21
#22
muse
like happy children)) and all why? because you don't know simple truths - while you are cheating on us, we are cheating on you:)))
#23
Guest
And your husband, while you are sitting at home?
#24
#25
other
I'm not changing it exactly.
I believe that if I do not change, then my husband does not change me either. Relationships are different, there are different periods in relationships, and betrayal itself is also different. Everything is relative. With my husband because I love him, and he is with me because he loves me. Of this I have no doubt. Love is something more than sex. Therefore, betrayal is a very unpleasant event, but physical betrayal, I could forgive, but there is no long deception. nine0003
#26
girlfriend
Now I'm getting ready and I'm also going to change, I'm a redhead.
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#27
#28
Guest
What great love can be discussed, their loved ones are not betrayed and even more so do not change.
#29
Hypocrite
how many idealists..I myself also sin with this, you need to tie up to believe in such nonsense as loyalty.
#30
Unreliable stories
-
I am infuriated with my children and grandchildren ...
863 Reply
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man immediately warned that a man immediately warned that all property is registered to children
738 responses
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Such a salary - I don't want to work
520 answers
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A lie 22 years long. How to destroy?
799 answers
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Husband left, 2 months of depression... How will you cope if you are left all alone?
178 responses
#31
The hypocrite
needs to be tied up, to believe in such nonsense.
nine0003
#32
#33
Guest
And if your woman changes you as reacted?
#34
#35 9000 I realized long ago that they change (that is, they have sex on the side) absolutely everything, if you do not take into account the poor, to whom no one will give. nine0003
#36
other
Well, your team is not all the men of the world, so your conclusions have no basis.
#37
Guest
Not a redhead you are not faithful
#38 9000 you can't judge everyone. But there is still reason to think so. I am most interested in this topic and I always ask a man in a heart-to-heart conversation whether life is possible with only one woman. The answer is always unambiguous and without options - it is absolutely impossible. nine0003
#39
other
Wrong men you ask. Question: can a woman live with one man, answer: yes, of course she can. Then why can't a man live with one woman? Just do not talk about their polygamy.
#40
other
Wrong men you ask.
Question: can a woman live with one man, answer: yes, of course she can. Then why can't a man live with one woman? Just do not talk about their polygamy. nine0003
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#41
husband
Because for me, sleeping drunk with a prostitute on a business trip has nothing to do with cheating. ... all the more so, it happens extremely rarely
For me, cheating is to support a second family on the sly, because it's already cheating .... And I don't like to cheat on my wife ..
#42
Sleepy grouse
No, you can live with just one for the rest of your life.
But it is hard for them not to go to the left.
#43
Sleepy grouse
No, you can live with one at least all your life. But it is hard for them not to go to the left.
#44
#45
9000 treason, so it's a second family to keep quietly, because it's already a hoax .... And I don't like to deceive my wife .. Kick. And then this asshole will bring from a cheap *** tripak. And the wife will be surprised: "After all, he does not change me ..." Yafshoke. I would drive such a bastard every week to take all the tests.
[/ Quote wow!!:)) don't be surprised later that your children don't look like you, guys, mlyn. they themselves were the first to start:p
#47
What?
husband Because for me to sleep drunk with a prostitute on a business trip has nothing to do with treason. ... all the more so, it happens extremely rarely
For me, treason is to keep a second family on the sly, because this is already a deception .... But I don’t like to deceive my wife .. Kick-ass. And then this asshole will bring from a cheap *** tripak. And the wife will be surprised: "After all, he does not change me ..." Yafshoke. I would take such a bastard every week to take all the tests. nine0003
#48
Guest
my wife never knew about the betrayal.
...
On the topic... I don't know if everyone cheats, but I know people who don't cheat, and they call the reason (you won't believe it) - LAZY! There is such an acquaintance, he does not cheat on his wife, in a conversation under a shofar he admitted to me that “why do you twitch, look for a mistress, then look after her, gifts, flowers, trips to the cinema / cafe, what for all this is necessary, strain, encrypt, like that carve out time for meetings ... one big hemorrhoids :))))
#49
beauty
husband Because for me, sleeping drunk with a prostitute on a business trip has nothing to do with treason. ... all the more so, it happens extremely rarely
For me, treason is to keep a second family on the sly, because this is already a deception .... But I don’t like to deceive my wife .. Kick-ass. And then this asshole will bring from a cheap *** tripak.
