You have to let go of the past
12 Tips for Letting Go of the Past
One thing that connects us as human beings is our ability to feel pain. Whether that pain is physical or emotional, we all have experiences of being hurt. What separates us though, is how we deal with that pain.
Experts have found that when emotional pain prevents you from healing from a situation, it’s a sign that we aren’t moving forward in a growth-oriented way.
One of the best ways to heal from hurts is to learn lessons from the situation and use those to focus on growth and forward momentum. If we get stuck in thinking about what “should have been,” we can become immobilized in painful feelings and memories.
If you’re trying to move forward from a painful experience, but you’re not sure how to get started, here are 12 tips to help you let go.
1. Create a positive mantra to counter the painful thoughts
How you talk to yourself can either move you forward or keep you stuck. Often, having a mantra that you tell yourself in times of emotional pain can help you reframe your thoughts.
For example, says clinical psychologist Carla Manly, PhD, instead of getting stuck in, “I can’t believe this happened to me!” try a positive mantra such as, “I am fortunate to be able to find a new path in life — one that is good for me.”
2. Create physical distance
It’s not uncommon to hear someone say that you should distance yourself from the person or situation that is causing you to be upset.
According to clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, PhD, that’s not such a bad idea. “Creating physical or psychological distance between ourselves and the person or situation can help with letting go for the simple reason that we are not having to think about it, process it, or being reminded of it as much,” she explains.
3. Do your own work
Focusing on yourself is important. You have to make the choice to address the hurt that you’ve experienced. When you think about a person who caused you pain, bring yourself back to the present. Then, focus on something that you’re grateful for.
4. Practice mindfulness
The more we can bring our focus to the present moment, says Lisa Olivera, a licensed marriage and family therapist, the less impact our past or future has on us.
“When we start practicing being present, our hurts have less control over us, and we have more freedom to choose how we want to respond to our lives,” she adds.
Online meditation options
Read our review of the best online meditation options to find the right fit for you.
5. Be gentle with yourself
If your first response to not being able to let go of a painful situation is to criticize yourself, it’s time to show yourself some kindness and compassion.
Olivera says this looks like treating ourselves like we would treat a friend, offering ourselves self-compassion, and avoiding comparisons between our journey and those of others.
“Hurt is inevitable, and we may not be able to able to avoid pain; however, we can choose to treat ourselves kindly and lovingly when it comes,” Olivera explains.
6. Allow the negative emotions to flow
If you’re fear of feeling negative emotions is causing you to avoid them, don’t worry, you’re not alone. In fact, Durvasula says that many times, people are afraid of feelings such as grief, anger, disappointment, or sadness.
Rather than feeling them, people just try to shut them out, which can disrupt the process of letting go. “These negative emotions are like riptides,” explains Durvasula. “Let them flow out of you… It may require mental health intervention, but fighting them can leave you stuck,” she adds.
7. Accept that the other person may not apologize
Waiting for an apology from the person who hurt you will slow down the process of letting go. If you’re experiencing hurt and pain, it’s important you take care of your own healing, which may mean accepting that the person who hurt you isn’t going to apologize.
8. Engage in self-care
When we are hurting, it often feels like there is nothing but hurt.
Olivera says practicing self-care can look like setting boundaries, saying no, doing the things that bring us joy and comfort, and listening to our own needs first.
“The more we can implement self-care into our daily lives, the more empowered we are. From that space, our hurts don’t feel as overwhelming,” she adds.
9. Surround yourself with people who fill you up
This simple yet powerful tip can help carry you through a lot of hurt.
We can’t do life alone, and we can’t expect ourselves to get through our hurts alone, either, explains Manly. “Allowing ourselves to lean on loved ones and their support is such a wonderful way of not only limiting isolation but of reminding us of the good that is in our lives.”
10. Give yourself permission to talk about it
When you’re dealing with painful feelings or a situation that hurt you, it’s important to give yourself permission to talk about it.
Durvasula says sometimes people can’t let go because they feel they aren’t allowed to talk about it.
“This may be because the people around them no longer want to hear about it or [the person is] embarrassed or ashamed to keep talking about it,” she explains.
But talking it out is important. That’s why Durvasula recommends finding a friend or therapist who is patient and accepting as well as willing to be your sounding board.
11. Give yourself permission to forgive
Since waiting for the other person to apologize can stall the process of letting go, you may have to work on your own forgiveness.
Forgiveness is vital to the healing process because it allows you to let go of anger, guilt, shame, sadness, or any other feeling you may be experiencing and move on.
12. Seek professional help
If you’re struggling to let go of a painful experience, you may benefit from talking to a professional. Sometimes it’s difficult to implement these tips on your own, and you need an experienced professional to help guide you through the process.
Online therapy options
Read our review of the best online therapy options to find the right fit for you.
To let go of past hurts, you need to make the conscious decision to take control of the situation. However, this can take time and practice. Be kind to yourself as your practice refocusing how you see the situation, and celebrate the small victories you have.
Top tips on how to let go of the past
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Mind & Meaning
9 tips for moving on from the past – for good Posted by:
Team TonyWhy do we hold on to the past? Why is it so difficult to let go of experiences that have caused us pain and suffering?
Many of us get stuck in the past because of our need for certainty. Certainty is one of the Six Human Needs and is fundamentally about survival. We need to feel certain that we can avoid pain and, ideally, find some comfort in our lives.
Letting go of the past also means stepping into the unknown. It means having the courage to let go of what is familiar – even if it’s negative – and being vulnerable enough to embrace and learn from what’s ahead.
The other reason it’s so difficult to learn how to let go of the past has to do with the way we link emotion to information. Consider, for example, a woman who has a feminine core. If her partner does something that causes her emotional pain, she may tend to bring it up over and over again throughout the relationship. Her partner feels like it’s impossible to win because no matter how much he does to amend the situation, she continues to punish him for his previous transgressions.
But there is a very real reason why she can’t figure out how to let go of the past.
Think back to the tragic day of 9/11. Chances are you can probably picture who you were with and what you were doing when you heard about the terrorist attack. Can you say the same for August 11, 2001? Your memory is likely blurry when it comes to those details.
Few people can remember what was happening a month before the attacks. This is because we do not retain information that does not have feelings attached to it.
Information with emotion makes an indelible impression. A person with a highly feminine core will attach emotion to anything that impacts them in a significant way, especially if it causes them pain or suffering – and it makes letting go of the past more difficult for them.
Compare that to someone with a masculine core. A highly masculine person does care and feel things deeply, but masculine energy is about breaking through and letting go while feminine energy is about filling up and gathering. When there is still emotion tied to a memory, moving on from the past becomes increasingly difficult for those who are biologically predisposed to gather.
What is this all costing us? How do we loosen our grip so we can move forward in a healthier, happier way?
As Tony says, “We’re not experiencing life at all – we’re experiencing our mind.
” Watch the video below and read on to learn how to forget the past and start living a life full of more joy and freedom.
The first step is to acknowledge what is holding you back and think about why you must move on. What exactly are you holding on to – a failed relationship? A slight from a friend or family member that you just can’t get over? Do you need to forgive someone – either in person or in your own heart – so that you can let go of anger and step into a more peaceful state?
Once you have identified what’s holding you back, ask yourself: “What are the reasons that I absolutely must move beyond this?” How will your life change when you learn how to move on from the past? How will it change the trajectory of your relationships and help you stay connected with your partner? And how will you feel in this new chapter of your life?
This is one of the most important parts of the process because it will help you stay committed to letting go of the past.
Gaining a clear sense of purpose is essential to establishing any goal. Your purpose will serve as your emotional drive when you feel like giving up. You will inevitably face setbacks and challenges, but if you have a strong enough reason and a purpose that drives you, you will stay focused and dedicated.
Identifying your emotional habits is one of the most challenging parts of letting go of the past because it requires deep introspection. How do you live your life? What are your limiting beliefs? Where do you live emotionally?
When you grow accustomed to certain emotions, even negative ones, you don’t notice how they affect you on a daily basis. You don’t realize that you’re stuck in a negative emotional loop – you believe you’re reacting as anyone would to any given situation. But our unique emotional habits can have a profound influence on the way we look at life, the way we act and how good we are at moving on from the past.
So why settle for a life where we empower the negative emotions and disempower the positive?
Identifying your emotional habits starts the shift toward a more positive experience. Your emotions are like a muscle: You can train yourself to feel frustrated, sad, stressed or even depressed after a challenging situation arises. Or you can train yourself to feel passionate, joyful and strong, even when something bad happens in your life. When you take charge of your emotions, you can learn how to let go of the past in a way that makes you feel lighter and freer instead of fearful.
When you catch yourself falling into a negative emotional habit, work to cut off the thought and switch gears immediately. The more you condition yourself, the more wired those emotions become and the more you adapt to any situation thrown your way.
3. Condition your mindThe ultimate breakthroughs in life happen by learning strategies, developing an empowering story and ensuring you’re in the right state to move forward.
To do this, you must condition your mind every single day.
If you don’t take the time to examine and change your habits, life starts to happen to you instead of for you. No matter how smart you are, how savvy you are or how inspired you are, if you don’t stand guard at the door of your mind, then you give tacit approval to what is disempowering, disenchanting and disillusioning. Instead of focusing on how to let go of the past, you’ll find yourself distracted by thoughts that keep you rooted in negative patterns.
Tell yourself empowering stories instead of limiting ones. Feed your mind with new knowledge and positivity. Surround yourself with people who make you better and put yourself in a peak state. Work on cultivating a thriving garden instead of a dry patch of weeds.
4. Create empowering ritualsLetting go of the past isn’t easy. Empowering rituals can help you cultivate that thriving garden. There’s a reason that the world’s most successful people all establish daily routines that include things like a healthy breakfast, meditation, exercise and learning new things.
It’s the small rituals that you do every day that build momentum and lead to massive change.
Practicing gratitude is another habit that can help you live in the moment, instead of in the past. Start a gratitude journal or practice it during your morning meditation. Think about all that you have to be grateful for in your current life. Realize that everything that happened to you in the past is what made you the person you are now: a strong, powerful person who can bounce back from anything. When you love yourself and your life, it’s easier to let go of the past for good.
5. Shift your focusSo much pain in life is caused by thinking you can control the way other people feel and act. We think that our circumstances are the result of some mysterious force, when they are really the result of our own decisions. We have the ability to turn negatives into positives, setbacks into opportunities, failures into lessons. All we need to do is accept that the only thing we control in life is our own actions and decisions – and shift our focus away from other people and events outside our control.
You can’t take back an unhealthy relationship, but you can learn from it. You can’t go back in time and fix a bad childhood, but you can realize that, as Tony says, “Your past does not equal your future.” Every day is a chance to start over. From the minute you wake up, you make choices. Learning how to let go of the past means breaking the pattern and focusing on creating the life you deserve, not dwelling on the one you used to have.
6.
Teach yourself to be presentYou must also shift your focus to be mindful of the present. Remember, the present is the only time that matters. The future only exists in your imagination – it isn’t real. The past only exists in your memory – and memories can be tainted with falsehoods. The only thing that is real is what is happening right now. And that’s why there’s nothing more powerful than the human soul rooted in the present moment, free from the past or the future.
You can teach yourself to be present. If you want more joy, more happiness, more fulfillment: Engage with your real life, not your phone screen.
Stop giving in to the temptations of technology to transport you out of reality. Bring your attention to this moment right now and take stock of what is beautiful. The biggest key to how to forget the past is to stop living there.
There’s no better time to work on a personal growth plan than when you want to learn how to move on from the past. Focusing on learning and improving is not only a distraction from negative thoughts – it’s also empowering. Take this time to figure out what it means to you. Do you want to develop your career? Create the healthy relationship you deserve?
Once you’ve identified the areas you want to work on, pinpoint the obstacles you may face and assemble the tools you need to succeed. As you gather these tools, consider working with a coach during your personal growth journey.
8.
Surround yourself with positive peopleWhat separates those who achieve their goals from those who don’t? It isn’t time or skills – it’s knowing how to use the law of attraction to get what they want.
They know that what you focus on, you feel. The energy you put out into the world is what you get back. And who you surround yourself with is who you become.
Letting go of the past is much more difficult if you are around people who constantly remind you about it. When you put the theory of peer elevation to work in your life and surround yourself with positive people who are committed to growth and progress, you’ll find it much easier to move on. As Tony says, “The quality of a person’s life is most often a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group.”
9.
Give backLastly, as you strive to understand how to let go of the past, find something you want to serve that is greater than yourself. Live for your family, for your community, for humanity. Motive does matter, so find motives that go beyond yourself.
No matter how broke you may be or how broken you feel, you have something to share with others – even if it’s something as common as a smile or a listening ear.
When you finally realize that the secret to living is giving, your life will improve dramatically and you will be able to see how to move on from the past.
Your life matters – and if you align yourself with the truth that you’re here not just to “get” but to give, then other people will feel your authenticity and open up to you. Giving back reminds you what you’re made for. Focusing on the needs of others has a way of empowering you to do more than you thought possible.
You’ll feel the benefits immediately and you will become grounded in the moment. You become more productive and you find creative solutions to problems. You find strength when you’re exhausted and you’ll learn how to let go of the past and step forward into the future in a more loving, conscious and compassionate way.
For more life-changing coaching and material, go to the Tony Robbins YouTube channel, podcast and Firewalk page.
Team Tony
Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.
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Beautiful quotes about the past (200 quotes)
The past always remains in the past, it can neither be returned nor changed. All we can do with it is accept it the way it is. Even though they understand this truth, many people continue to relive the past in their imagination, reveling in the happy moments of their past lives, or endlessly beating themselves up for their mistakes. In general, the past is one of the most frequent reasons for avoiding reality, which prevents many of us from enjoying the opportunity to live here and now, to enjoy every moment in life.
This section contains the most beautiful quotes about the past. nine0003
There are so many things to think about. Why fill your head with what you can’t return - you need to think about what else can be changed.
The past can be too heavy to carry around with you everywhere. Sometimes it is worth forgetting about it for the sake of the future.
People are caught between the past, for which they are ashamed, and the future, which frightens them.
Each of us has a time machine: what takes us to the past is memories; what takes you to the future is dreams. nine0003
To move into the future, one must get rid of the past.
The past can be too heavy to carry around with you everywhere. Sometimes it's worth forgetting about it. At least for the sake of the future.
I miss you. This is the only explanation for my longing for the past. No advice and psychotechnics help. One can only put up with it, try to get bored more and more quietly with the hope of someday learning to just remember.
There are so many things to think about. Why fill your head with what you can’t return - you need to think about what else can be changed. nine0003
It's time to leave the past alone and live in the present, given that we don't have much of a future...
Don't try to get rid of memories, you have to learn to live with them.
Never go back. There is no point in going back. Even if there are the same eyes in which thoughts sank. Even if you are drawn to where everything was still so nice, don't go there ever, forget forever what happened. The same people live in the past that they always promised to love. If you remember this - forget it, you will never go there. Don't trust them, they are strangers. After all, they once left you. They killed faith in their souls, in love, in people and in themselves. Live simply by what you live, and even though life is like hell, look only forward, never go back. nine0003
Keep an eye out for people who have suddenly appeared from the past.
Think of the past only when it brings up only pleasant memories.
Just yesterday you believed in a wonderful future with her, but today you live in the past and don't understand why you need the present...
The worst thing is when those who were supposed to become the future become the past.
Just yesterday you believed in a wonderful future with her, but today you live in the past and don't understand why you need the present...
Don't try to get rid of memories, you have to learn to live with them.
It's amazing how quickly you shut yourself off from the past when you have something to do with your hands and head. You can survive everything, even the most terrible pain. You just need something to distract you.
I still don't regret anything, if only because it's pointless.
The past is a lie, there is no way back for memory, every past spring is irrevocable, and the most insane and enduring love is just a fleeting feeling.
nine0003
Sometimes people with a worse past create a better future.
Is the past an anchor that pulls us back? Maybe it's worth releasing who you were in order to become who you will be?
I still don't regret anything, if only because it's pointless.
With a new person one must start life anew. There is no past.
We die every second, "I" a second ago will never return.
I miss you. This is the only explanation for my longing for the past. No advice and psychotechnics help. One can only put up with it, try to get bored more and more quietly with the hope of someday learning to just remember. nine0003
Don't feel sorry or berate yourself for the past, because you tried to be happy.
If the past doesn't let go, then it hasn't passed yet!
Think of the past only when it brings up only pleasant memories.
The brighter the bridges burn behind you, the brighter the path ahead.
One of the advantages of the past is that it is in the past.
The past is forgotten. The future is closed. The present is a gift. That is why it is called real.
They say bad times become good memories. nine0003
Well, why do you need memories that pull you back when you will go forward with me?!..
If the past does not let go, then it has not passed yet!
Everything old is gone, but the new has not appeared.
These feelings from the past sometimes come back to me. Together with the sound of the rain then, the smell of the wind then...
I know you don't have a past - let me offer you a future.
The peculiarity of the spiritual past is that, unlike the historical past, it is not squandered by descendants. nine0003
And everything changes in an instant... we leave the past behind and rush at breakneck speed into the unknown - our future. We leave as far as possible in an attempt to find ourselves or lose ourselves while exploring the pleasures of home. Problems begin when we do not want change and cling to old habits, but if we cling to the past so strongly, the future may not come .
.. until death do us part.
We cannot go back to the past no matter how hard we try. As wonderful as it is, the past is just the past. nine0003
Most people make the same mistake - they somehow always remain in the past.
Which of you has ever sawed sawdust in your life? Of course, no one can cut sawdust. They are already drunk. The same with the past. When you start worrying about things that have already passed, you are busy sawing sawdust.
One of the advantages of the past is that it is in the past.
I am sentimental in my way and would rather take a detour of ten blocks to avoid passing under the balconies of the house where I was happy. nine0003
The only person you should compare yourself to is you in the past. And the only person you should be better than is you now.
Well, why do you need memories that pull you back when you will go forward with me?!
But the past is always with us, waiting to overturn the present.
These feelings from the past sometimes come back to me.
Together with the then noise of the rain, the then smell of the wind...
At the birth of love, lovers talk about the future, at its decline, about the past.
And every day the future seems a little gloomier, but the past, with all the dirt that was there, shines brighter.
We die every second, "I" a second ago will never return.
Bow your head before the past, roll up your sleeves before the future.
Never go back. There is no point in going back. Even if there are the same eyes in which thoughts were drowning. Even if you are drawn to where everything was still so nice, don't go there ever, forget forever what happened. The same people live in the past that they always promised to love. If you remember this - forget it, you will never go there. Don't trust them, they are strangers. After all, they once left you. They killed faith in their souls, in love, in people and in themselves. Live simply by what you live, and even though life looks like hell, look only forward, never go back.
nine0003
– And you? she asked in turn. – Do you ever think about… us?
- I don't need to remember. I never forgot.
A dry river is not thanked for its past.
If you are constantly stressed by the past, it is your fault, because you do not know how to live in the present.
We cling to our past because we do not trust the future.
Ideas are the daughters of the past and the mothers of the future, and always the slaves of time!
Previously there were few answers; now there are no more questions...
How strange young people are today. You hate the past, you despise the present, and you are indifferent to the future. It is unlikely that this will lead to a good ending.
Do not look into the past with longing. It won't come back. Manage the present wisely. It is yours. Go forward, towards a vague future, without fear and with a courageous heart.
We cannot go back to the past no matter how hard we try. As wonderful as it is, the past is just the past.
I tossed and turned, remembering past grievances. And he relaxed, remembering that insults are past. nine0003
Love for the past is often nothing but hatred for the present.
No matter how many times you try to run away from the past, you cannot get rid of the thought that you were part of it.
To deny the past is to deny oneself.
No man is rich enough to buy his past.
Nothing in the whole world can knock us down, but we ourselves knock ourselves down - we sigh over what we no longer have, and think about the past too often. nine0003
Each of us has a time machine: what takes us to the past is memories; what takes you to the future are dreams.
The past cannot become the present; we cannot know what we do not know. But the past, present and future are hidden under one cover...
We are like boats trying to break into the present, but we are ruthlessly carried to the past...
...the beauty of the past is that it is the past.
Memories and foresights fill almost the entire present time. nine0003
It is better not to ignore the past, but to learn from it. Otherwise, history may repeat itself.
It is unforgivable for a person to think that with empty regrets alone he will be able to correct the mistakes of the past.
Does the sun shine for me today to make me think about yesterday?
Only the one who builds the future has the right to be a judge of the past.
It is good where we are not: in the past we are no longer there, and it seems beautiful.
Every event in the present is born from the past and is the father of the future. nine0003
A person cannot be pulled out from under the rubble of the past. Either you climb out on your own, or you stay under the rubble.
Music is my favorite means of traveling through time and the fastest way to return to the past.
Why, then, follow in the footsteps of what is already over?
... I can't go back to being a schoolgirl.
The girl I used to be has now disappeared without a trace, and that high school student is no more, the graduate has also disappeared. We will never be the same as we were five minutes ago. Those us are no more. nine0003
The better you meet the demands of the present, the sooner you will become the past.
Everything that was is no more. All that will be is not yet.
The sooner you realize that the past cannot be returned, the sooner you can move on.
On New Year's Eve people forget what happened and wait for what will happen. But the past is always with us. It tries to interfere with the present.
Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future.
The past is like a broken mirror. Trying to collect the pieces together, you can cut yourself. nine0003
Fate confronts us all with what we desperately want to leave behind.
The first thing loneliness encourages you to do is deal with yourself and your past.
Our past has taught us not to look too far ahead.
Nothing in the whole world can knock us down, but we ourselves knock ourselves down - we sigh over what we no longer have, and think about the past too often.
You can only change your future. Leave the past alone
How strange young people are today. You hate the past, you despise the present, and you don't care about the future. It is unlikely that this will lead to a good ending.
In the end, the past doesn't disappear either. In fact, apart from the past, there is nothing else: the present does not stand still for a long time, and everyone can only guess about the future. Over time, you always give everything to the past without a trace. In the end, it always catches up with you.
How many of you have ever sawed sawdust in your life? Of course, no one can cut sawdust. They are already drunk. The same with the past. When you start worrying about things that have already passed, you are in the business of sawing sawdust. nine0003
Give up the future, sacrifice dreams that are filled with hopelessness.
Avoid the past, fight reality and never leave your nobility.
If you don't forget the past, then you won't have a future.
- I think it's better to leave the past in the past. Don't look back, only forward.
And why is the past such an infection that it doesn't disappear at all, even when it's vital?
And why is the past such an infection that it doesn't disappear at all, even when it's vital? nine0003
Over time, even the most long-awaited call may become unnecessary.
If your old life oppresses you, forget about it as soon as possible... Invent a new story of your life and believe in it. Remember only your victories, and this will help you achieve what you want.
What a blessing it is that memory returns the past to us not in order to remake it, but only in order to comprehend, mourn and understand. We are responsible for everything - for every deed and for every word, and memory invites us to think about why we lived, what we did with our lives, whether we had a purpose and fulfilled it.
nine0003
On the way to a dream, he was repeatedly disappointed in his strength. Despair pushed for actions, for which he later became ashamed. Despair pushed me to stupid follies, which I now try not to remember. A handful of pills eating away at a dry stomach. Escape to where the darkness consumes the light. The search for a soul lost among insults, pain, unanswered questions. I thought that in desperation I would find myself. I was mistaken... It is impossible to change the experience, it is better to accept it with the words: "It was..." To let go of the past means to be able to say out loud "everything is gone." nine0003
You must learn to be strong on your own. Must move forward, not live in the past.
An impeccable past is always either a lie or stupidity.
Live for today. Remember the past and do not be afraid of the future, for the future does not exist. Only "now" can exist.
You must learn to be strong on your own. Must move forward, not live in the past.
There are times when a person tries to make a pact about the future with his past. nine0003
Fate confronts us all with what we desperately want to leave behind.
Get rid of the mistakes of the past and when you do this your heart will become stronger.
It's so strange that we cling to pieces of our past in anticipation of our future.
Man is never present where he really is. He is always delving into the past or looking into the future, but just being calm in the present is such a rarity.
Autumn is the season of checking for past debts…
Thanks to the past for teaching me a lot.
Get rid of the mistakes of the past and when you do this your heart will become stronger.
Man is never present where he really is. He is always delving into the past or looking into the future, but just being calm in the present is such a rarity.
And you can't bring the future closer, and the past is already far away.
If you don't forget the past, then you won't have a future.
It often happens: the past happiness seems to be within reach, but it is still impossible to reach out. nine0003
Don't look to the past, you've already been there and seen everything, go ahead, it will be more interesting there.
It is good where we are not: in the past we are no longer there, and it seems beautiful.
I wish I had a remote control to rewind everything...
I like the past because there were no things in the past that distracted you. There were no telephones, there were no computers, and there was not even electricity. You were surrounded by a special kind of silence, and if one of your friends wanted to chat with you about some stupid reason, he had to get his ass off the chair and drag it to you. nine0003
Worrying about past mistakes all the time is the worst mistake.
If you are constantly stressed by the past, it is your fault, because you do not know how to live in the present.
A person is never present where he actually is.
He is always digging into the past or looking into the future, but just being calm in the present is such a rarity...
The past can be too heavy to carry it everywhere with you. Sometimes it is worth forgetting about it for the sake of the future. nine0003
Sometimes I want to go back in time and correct my mistakes, but I understand that then the joy will also go away.
The past is dangerous. It kills.
The future is really scary, but you can't go back to the past just because you know everything there. The opportunity is tempting, but... It's impossible.
The past doesn't matter, today is what matters.
If you don't forget the past, you won't have a future.
It is unforgivable for a person to think that with empty regrets alone he can correct the mistakes of the past. nine0003
I will never look back. It hurts too much, it torments the heart too much, so then you are no longer capable of anything - that's all and you will look back .
... This is what happens when you look back - to the time when you were happy - one pain, mental anguish and annoyance.
In everyone's life there comes a moment when you need to understand that the past is no more. There is you and there is now.
You must learn to be strong on your own. Must move forward, not live in the past.
I would like to have a remote control from life to rewind everything...
The past very often hurts the soul, the nerves. So I trained myself to live with what I have now.
In everyone's life there comes a moment when you need to understand that the old is no more. It was there, in the past, but now it has collapsed completely and irrevocably. This is how we learn to let go of time.
Who among you has ever sawed sawdust in your life? Of course, no one can cut sawdust. They are already drunk. The same with the past. When you start worrying about things that have already passed, you are busy sawing sawdust. nine0003
Know how to say "thank you" to what is left behind.
It certainly taught us something important.
Scars have power over people, they remind us that the past is real.
Sometimes I want to go back in time and correct my mistakes, but I understand that then the joy will also go away.
People are never satisfied with the present and, from experience having little hope for the future, adorn the irretrievable past with all the colors of their imagination.
We cling to our past because we do not trust the future. nine0003
I advised you to turn the page on that woman rather than burn the library with the past.
There is no point in arguing about the past. We must think about the future.
Wow, how we return to the past when we meet people from the past.
Go back in time and save Mrs. Hopern and her baby better, then maybe Lenny wouldn't go crazy and break up my family. No, go back to when we were 7 years old and fuck me in front of the lens of my father's camera, maybe then my life will be better.
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Don't let yesterday affect you today.
Too late. Nothing can be returned. Nothing is returned. Just as the lived moment does not return.
Previously there were few answers; now there are no more questions...
All our past is a desire to look into the future.
A woman's past is like a restaurant kitchen, it's better not to look into it.
The sooner you realize that the past cannot be returned, the sooner you can move on. nine0003
Don't try to fix the past. Better do your best not to spoil the future.
Old sins have long shadows.
No matter how many times you try to run away from the past, you cannot get rid of the thought that you were part of it.
Let go of the past with love, be grateful to it for bringing you to this realization.
To go into the future, you have to get rid of the past.
He who takes a new step without completely getting rid of his former life will certainly be tormented by his own past.
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Things seem clearer when they are in the past.
Music is my favorite means of traveling through time and the fastest way to return to the past.
If you ever want to go back in time, just look up.
Sun, don't you know that everything is done for the best? Just very slowly. We must move on and not carry suitcases full of the past. Hands are not enough, and you will run out of steam halfway.
To deny the past is to deny oneself. nine0003
Adults take comfort in the memory of the past, while children hope for the future.
Don't torture yourself thinking about what you can't get back.
The past doesn't matter, today is what matters.
We are like boats trying to break into the present, but we are mercilessly carried to the past...
We are never present where we really are. We always delve into the past or look into the future, but just being calm in the present is such a rarity.
The past is forgotten. The future is closed.
The real is a gift. That is why it is called real.
The only person you have to compare yourself to is you in the past. And the only person you should be better than is you now.
The past is the past. What matters now is what I choose to do from now on.
If you want to know what you did in your past life, look at your current state.
If you want to know your future, look at your actions today. nine0003
The future worries us, but the past holds us. This is why the present eludes us.
Love is the only feeling that does not tolerate either past or future time.
I must have been a bad friend, since those with whom I once held hands do not remember me.
There are always people who can't get rid of nostalgia for old things that money can't buy.
Those who know how to forget the past are head and shoulders above us all.
If you find it necessary to judge me for my past... don't be surprised if I find it necessary to leave you there.
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Even you, Sir Robert, are not rich enough to redeem your past. Nobody can do this.
It is better not to ignore the past, but to learn from it. Otherwise, history may repeat itself.
Appreciate what was in the past, but don't let it block your future.
And every day the future seems a little gloomier, but the past, with all the dirt that was there, shines brighter.
The past is the birthplace of the human soul. Sometimes we are overcome by longing for the feelings that we once experienced. Even longing for past sorrow. nine0003
He is no longer in my life, but he is a part of me!
No matter what happens, you need to move forward, otherwise the past will swallow you up, depriving you of the future...
Do not waste time endlessly returning to past mistakes or missed opportunities. There is still a long life ahead, we have no reason to look back.
No matter how hard people try to forget the past, the past will never forget them.
Who needs a past, I thought like any child. I did not imagine that the past might need me. nine0003
People, as a rule, do not allow themselves to love precisely because so much is at stake - the future and the past.
I advised you to turn the page with that woman and not burn the library with the past.
When the past is forgotten, the present becomes unforgettable.
If you shoot the past with a gun, the future will shoot you with a gun.
How to accept and let go of your past
December 13 Inspiration
Everything we resist has power over us. And whatever we accept sets us free. nine0003
Srinivas Rao
Founder of The Unmistakable Creative podcast, author of books on creativity.
Don't fight disappointment and pain
We often look outside for answers to our questions: in books and podcasts, in trainings and seminars, from mentors and spiritual teachers. But this does not always help to understand your aspirations, and sooner or later you need to look inside yourself.
Disappointments and painful memories will inevitably surface. You want to run away from them, but you have to look them in the face. And then you will notice such a paradox: the more you fight with pain, the more you give it strength. And when you finally let go of this struggle, it becomes easier. nine0003
It's rather difficult. The need to give up is contrary to everything that we are constantly taught: to strive, to push, to endure, to win. But when we give up, we find peace and find inspiration. And this is not the same as resigning and falling into apathy.
When you let go of the desperate desire to change the situation, you finally become free.
And you can live a meaningful life only in this state of freedom and self-expression without excuses. Realize that frustration and pain are a natural part of life. Don't be afraid of them. Yes, you can get your heart broken, you can get fired from your job, your creative project can fail.
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But what you learn in the process will help you grow into a different person. The only way to avoid disappointment is to never take risks. But it will be a very limited life.
Find something good in the past
Usually, when we remember bad experiences from the past, such as a relationship that didn't work out or a lost job, we focus on the bad and ignore the good. We carry this negativity with us, and the future becomes like the past. But if you acknowledge what happened and learn from it, his power over you will dissipate. nine0003
For example, self-help books advise you to write something nice about every person who has left you. And this advice can be applied to any painful circumstance. Write down what you learned from the situation, what you learned, what you learned about yourself. And you will see that, despite the pain caused, others present us with amazing gifts.
Without those bosses who once fired me, I would not be a writer today. One girl I dated taught me how to cook, another taught me how to dress better.
Yes, we didn't make it. But that doesn't mean it wasn't good. nine0003
When we accept a difficult situation or let go of resentment towards the person who hurt us, negative impressions lose their hold on us and our future.
Help yourself realign
By letting go of the past, you create space for a new future. And clinging to the old negativity, you are likely to repeat the same mistakes. I understand that in reality it is more difficult than in words. Especially when you have just recovered from pain or are still trying to weather the storm in your own life. Therefore, I will give a few tips that help me:
- Learn to be grateful. This will not solve all problems, but it will help change the mood. You will notice the good things in life that you usually take for granted.
- Change your environment. It has a very strong influence on feelings and behavior. It is not necessary to burn everything that is connected with the past (although sometimes you want to) .
Let your environment represent everything that you want to become, and not what you were before. - Talk to a therapist. nine0453 It seems to me that this should be done at least once in a lifetime. A psychotherapist is a coach, not only for the body, but for the mind. It will help you notice repeating patterns in your life. And he is also objective, you can tell him about everything, knowing that he will not judge.
- Take care of yourself. Treat yourself to something nice to close one chapter of life and start another. And regularly take care of your mental balance. For example, go in for sports, travel, start new hobbies. nine0454
Imagine what opportunities you may have
Each event has three scenarios:
- The one that we assumed.
- The one that is now.
- The one that can be.
When the reality does not match the assumptions, we are upset. We close ourselves to all other possibilities and try to fulfill unfulfilled expectations.
However, in such a situation, you need to accept the third scenario - uncertainty. We usually associate it with fear, anxiety, and our worst fears. And we do not notice the amazing thing that can also happen. nine0003
Most often, understanding comes only when we look back.
I remember feeling like I was in a terrible position in terms of my career: graduating from university in the midst of the global economic crisis, not getting a job after my summer internship. But it was this that prompted me to start what later became the basis of my podcast.
I started writing as a freelancer, but in 2013 I was rejected by those with whom I collaborated. I freed up time, and soon I published my first book myself. It became a bestseller, and eventually I got an offer from the publisher. nine0003
Thanks to these events, I was saved from a job where you have to write about things that you don't care about. Of course, at first, such turns are frustrating and scary.
