Women make more money

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Eighteen percent of respondents admitted that they know of specific cases or have themselves experienced when the increase in the income of a woman in a couple led to a break in relations. According to the survey, about 54% of female executives earn more than their partners. 17% of women receive less than their husband's income, another 24% earn approximately the same amount with a partner.

At the same time, male top managers in 85% of cases earn more than their wives. For 53% of female leaders (and 57% of men), the difference in earnings with a partner is more than twice. Only 2% of top managers turned down lucrative financial job offers due to the fact that they would earn more than a partner. For 9For 8% of managers, this did not become a stop factor, which ultimately allowed them to achieve top corporate positions.

Respondents do not have a common opinion about who should earn more in a pair. 62% of men believe that the husband should provide the main income, women are of the same opinion in 39% of cases.

Ekaterina Eliseeva, General Director of Bonduelle Eurasia

I am sure that couples stay together because they are united by common interests, outlook on life, values ​​in the end. In this list of unifying elements, money and wealth are not decisive. A strong alliance will survive the loss of the job of one of the partners without reproaches and accusations. In such an alliance, mutual trust, respect and support come first. nine0005

They say that behind every successful man there is a woman, and in my opinion, behind every successful woman there is a man. It's trite, but true - in a couple we are stronger, we have someone to rely on. Only in a pair, it seems to me, is it possible to achieve balance. Balance is a state of flux. Today you work, and I take care of the children, tomorrow I have a breakthrough in my career, and you provide a reliable rear.

In our time, when it is no longer necessary to kill a mammoth in order to feed a family, the one who is better at it should provide prosperity, and not the one who has more muscles. nine0005

I was lucky, among my friends there are no couples in which the success of a woman became the reason for parting. But there are several strong alliances where wise men give their wives the opportunity to build a career, and no less wise women do not reproach men for not supporting a family.

Maria Litinetskaya, Managing Partner of Metrium

In my opinion, the stereotype about “earners” strengthens and weakens from time to time — it all depends on the current situation in the public mind. Obviously, in recent years in Russia, political and public discussions have turned towards conservatism. Discussions have begun again on the role of women, which some want to describe as "children, kitchen, church." On the other hand, there is a request for a so-called new frankness: the previously tabooed and condemned patterns of behavior of women who live at the expense of men are now openly discussed and not condemned. Both the first and second trends essentially answer the question “Who should earn?” unequivocally: a man. nine0005

At the same time, we see today a feminist trend - what is worth at least a discussion about feminists. Therefore, in three to five years, public opinion will change, and again they will talk about the fact that a woman should earn as much as a man or more.

There is an objective trend - the difference in income between men and women around the world is decreasing. In 2019, men's median wages were 19% higher than women's, while in 2015 they were 26%. I believe that this objective trend will be stronger than any ideologemes. In my opinion, the difference in family income is an overestimated problem. Each family should have its own arrangements. I don't see anything wrong with a man or a woman earning more. In other words, such a difference is a normal set of circumstances that does not affect (or at least should not affect) the relationship. nine0005

Tatyana Dolyakova, founder of the ProPersonnel agency

In fact, at the beginning of a career, the opportunities are the same for both men and women. The tipping point occurs when a woman goes on maternity leave and loses one to two years of work experience. Subsequently, self-doubt appears, and even the woman herself does not always accept the offer of promotion - this is a purely psychological moment. There are now more and more programs in companies that allow you to design a career path for women and men in order to smooth out these differences. Many companies support women, offer part-time jobs, do projects remotely, provide free training, develop management skills, and develop the psychological confidence needed to build and move up the career ladder. nine0005

Outdated behavioral attitudes about the headship of the husband, about his greater responsibility are strong in people, and, of course, when a woman becomes a boss with a higher salary than her husband, problems appear. On the one hand, the husband may feel hurt, on the other hand, the female boss can transfer the behavioral attitudes of the boss to family relationships, provoking conflicts, since the husband does not want to feel like a subordinate.

Elina Isagulova, Vice President of Mail.ru Group, B2B Commerce and Operations

A situation in which a man earns more than a woman can, out of habit, be easier to perceive. But now this is changing, people have become calmer about such issues. It is much more important that partners have common interests and hobbies, so that they are on the same wavelength.

Relationships within a couple should not become a barrier to personal self-realization. It is important to support each other in the choices a partner makes. In order to avoid false illusions or misunderstandings, it is better to immediately agree on issues that are significant to you, including financial ones. In principle, the more people talk to each other, the easier it is for them to solve any problems. And this is true not only for family matters. nine0005

Galina Spasenova, partner of Kontakt InterSearch Russia

The ability to earn more than her husband rarely influences a woman's decision whether or not to accept a job. As a rule, this is another factor in addition to other issues related to fears of putting the family at the expense of a career - frequent business trips and relocations, or a much higher workload compared to the current place of work. It is the fear that the family will have to devote less time, as well as the “bad wife or mother complex” that stops women from agreeing to a higher position or a major project, and money here fades into the background. Also in my practice there was a case when a candidate for a higher position said that she was trying not to dedicate her creative husband to her own career achievements and income level, so as not to "annoy once again." I don't think she's the only one doing this. nine0005

Unfortunately, as we see from the results of the survey, a woman's career and financial success quite often leads to the separation of a couple. In this case, of course, there is always a personal story, but one cannot ignore the traditional attitudes of our society and the cornerstone stereotype that a man should be the main breadwinner in the family. However, I know a variety of happy couples: those where the spouses develop careers on an equal footing, and those where the man fully supports the family, and those where the man stayed at home with the children while they were small. nine0005

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Why men do not like it when a woman earns more?

A new study on love has just been published. In short, while looking for a partner, we, consciously or not, pay attention to a number of factors: appearance, education, profession, family values, material and social status. All this to some extent can predict the success of a marriage. But there is a magic number that can predict it with extraordinary accuracy: your credit score. It determines the creditworthiness of a person - that is, whether it is possible to give him or her a loan, and if so, at what percentage. The Washington Post wrote that the Federal Reserve (Central Bank) of the United States itself provided data on the stability of pairs with a high credit rating. nine0005

The Serbian Darko dropped the article and advised me to write on a dating site: “An attractive girl from Ukraine, AAA rating, is looking for a man with a good credit history to pay off her debts and, possibly, more.” He was supported by three of our friends, and I agreed in exchange for a promise to answer my questions about relationships, women and money. The ad hung for a couple of months, I received answers only from juvenile gouging and ethnic gentlemen with poor English. All acceptable men, seeing a hint of money in the text, left to look for love in other places. Undoubtedly, the issue of money and parity in a family or in a couple is very important. And it is not always easy to understand what is the right thing to do for women who can potentially earn more: give up leadership to a man so as not to undermine his authority in a patriarchal society, or use their potential for the benefit of the family and the economy as a whole? Despite my obvious feminism, I ask both questions as equivalent. nine0005

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7 reasons why he refuses to have sex with you old friend. Once we met for a long time, lived together, then I left for London, and our common life fell into two. Now we drank cognac and argued what would happen if ... “It’s even good that you left me,” summed up a friend. “At least I’ve become a man.” Hearing this was unpleasant, but arguing with him is also difficult. The friend, who came from the front in the rank of officer, did not in any way resemble the slob of fifteen years ago. This new one, despite the post-traumatic stress, did not forget to pay for cognac. And he did not want to go to London, look for work there, and in Kyiv he was in no hurry to look for it. I wanted a human career, a normal apartment and financial stability. I will not hide, I also wanted a man nearby to earn decent money. nine0005

I sawed him, in the end, I myself found him a position as an international news columnist and copied these news for him from The Financial Times (then these skills were very useful to me in my career). A friend worked either as a teacher of ancient Greek or as a poster boarder. I worked in a fashion magazine, then on television and on foreign radio. We had a lot in common, except for the attitude to income and money, or rather, apart from expectations from life. A friend had fun in the hostel, but I wanted amenities. I went to London, where I got married and bought a house, and a friend found a job he liked, got married and bought an apartment in a matter of days before leaving for the war. He came to all the necessary conclusions on his own, but already without me. nine0005

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After the divorce, I sold the house and bought an apartment. I have a new career in PR and no personal life (other than the one I describe in these pages). The focus on a career has brought results: even in London, I live well. Of course, not like investment bankers, and most of my salary goes to paying off the mortgage, but I'm not complaining. And suddenly the medal turned in an unexpected direction: most of the free men I meet earn less, sometimes much. What's the difference, many will say, because the main thing is love. But the difference is big. Both men and women, and even feminists like me, know this. Whoever is the breadwinner has control, if the man does not have control - he is a henpecked and a rag, if a woman has to love a rag - things are bad, even if this woman is quite capable of literally stopping a galloping horse. The situation is aggravated by the fact that the number of such couples is growing inexorably. In Britain, according to the Press Association, women aged 22-30 already earn £1,100 a year more than men. The statistics level off in favor of men after 30, when women start giving birth and men move into corporate leadership at the board level. Although a recent study by the insurance company LV showed that in a quarter of young couples, a woman earns more. nine0005

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Sometimes women who have dedicated themselves to a career with a high level of stress and a solid income, men are attracted to more creative, but low-paid professions. Remember, in a previous article, I wrote that my friend, a young lawyer, is drawn to neurosurgeons, and me, a PR woman, to physicists? But the matter is not limited to me and the lawyer: there are more well-known examples. In order not to go far, let's call Barack and Michelle Obama. As a lawyer, Michelle earned many times more than her husband, a young senator and a promising politician. More former Prime Minister Tony Blair earned and his wife Sheri, also a lawyer. Ukrainian politicians also like to tell the tax service and the public that the wife, they say, is in business, and she earned all the Lexuses and villas. But I suspect the nature of such a triumph of feminism is somewhat different. nine0005

It is customary to justify the dominance of men in the material sphere by history and even biology, including arguments about the males of our cave ancestors, who allegedly sought love by throwing a piece of mammoth to a chosen one who was starving for protein. But this argument no longer works: British scientists recently discovered (quite seriously) that women invented weapons - as an advantage over physically stronger males, who, as it turned out, were in no hurry to share meat.

In English there is a word breadwinner, that is, a getter. Women earners attracted the attention of researchers - more precisely, researchers. Lisa Mundi, author of The Rich Sex: How the New Majority of Women Earners Are Transforming Sex, Love, and Family, argues that it's hard for men to accept that a woman earns more, but it's much harder for women to deal with it. “Some feel that this makes it impossible for them to quit a job they hate or go on a part-time job to support their families. That is, they feel exactly what men have always felt. nine0005

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Susan Doyle-Morris, author of the even longer titled Women Providents: How They Make Relationships Work and Why They Are the Future of the Workforce, thinks the problem is such couples lies in the lack of reciprocity. In an interview with The Daily Telegraph, she said: “In my experience, the happiest couples where the breadwinner is a woman are those in which both partners contribute. It doesn't have to be financial, but one partner provides emotional support or takes care of the house and the other appreciates it. There are not many women who are happily married to a freeloader.” Other experts also cite the emotional support and housekeeping of one partner as an important factor in the professional success of the other. nine0005

In nature, there are power couples where both partners are successful and influential, but more often the roles are separated. We have all heard the phrase: “Behind every great man there is a great woman” and are familiar with couples where the man hunts the mammoth and the woman provides the rear. It turns out that gender has nothing to do with it - it's all about the distribution of roles. Half of the 14 female CEOs in the top 500 US companies have husbands who do housework.

Gender distribution of roles is still strong in our minds, but gradually we get used to the fact that roles can easily change. Statistics in the US have shown that divorce is no longer more likely in couples where the woman is more educated than the man or both have the same education. Recently, a Time magazine poll was widely cited in the media, according to which husbands with lower incomes were happier in their marriages and satisfied with their sex lives. The researchers cited a decrease in stress levels as the reason: when a man has fewer worries, there is more sense from him and in bed. Although it’s hard to imagine how some husband screams from the doorway, “Honey, jump into bed - they cut my salary!” Economists are already finding positives for the consumer goods market: With more men spending more time at home, sales of fancy kitchen gadgets, from grills to coffee machines, are on the rise. nine0005

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How to tell if your boyfriend is a fluffer the category of the population still suffers from changes in gender roles: according to the observations of American scientists, these are working-class men. While the middle class learned relatively quickly to change diapers and take men's maternity leave, the workers found themselves unable to change their mindset and take on some of the household chores. As a result, families suffer financially. A familiar situation: many Ukrainian women still leave to work in other countries, while their unemployed husbands sit on the couch with beer in depression. nine0005

Among my acquaintances and friends there are approximately the same number of couples of several types:

› in which women earn more or fully support the family;

› in which the main occupation of the woman is the house;

› in which both partners work, and the man earns much more;

› as well as single women with successful careers and good salaries.

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Banker friends belong to the third category of these couples. According to the Hindu Ashoka (he is a banker, his wife is a doctor), men lose their self-respect if they cannot be traditional earners. “They lose status in the eyes of colleagues, and in the family circle, and among friends. Women often exaggerate both the failures and successes of their partners. It is difficult for men to be in a relationship where a woman earns more. Probably even more difficult than sitting at home and being supported. When I was laid off, my wife was the main and only breadwinner in our family. There wasn't much fun." nine0005

Jason, a financier, also runs a lucrative kindergarten business. I don't know his wife. “I would love to date a woman who earns more, as long as she does not use this fact against me. I always liked to earn money for my family and be the main earner, but the main thing is that both partners make an effort, whatever it is - taking care of the house, taking care of children, organizing leisure activities or making money.

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