Women and men relationship
5 Important Facts About What Makes Men and Women Different
So what exactly makes Men and women different? A very interesting topic to explore. We absolutely are different in so many ways, and there are some things that only one gender will ever understand. Read on to learn about these differences and how they affect both sexes.
Men & Women have entirely different ways of thinking
Men and women think differently because they have different brains. While men tend to use logic and reason more often than emotion, women tend to rely more heavily on emotions. This difference in brain structure has an impact on how people think and behave. Overall, men and women think differently due to various biological differences such as brain structure and hormones. To foster better understanding between men and women, it is important to recognize the five key differences between how men and women think
It’s no secret that men and women are different. But beyond the obvious physical disparities, many of us don’t realize
just how much deeper our differences go.Especially when it comes to relationships.
It has been documented that men and women are wired differently. We can observe this difference on a cognitive level, an emotional level, on the basis of hormones and even at a cellular level. Research has demonstrated how unique gender brain wiring is. It impacts many aspects of life from communication tendencies to emotional regulation. On top of this knowledge we can see the hormonal differences that people have; heightened chemical levels impacting thinking, behaviour, and emotions again related to gender type. Lastly but just as important is the number of cells found in mens’ vs womens’ brains , providing insight into the biological aspects of femininity and masculinity.
Even though most men have been on a different path than women all along, for some reason we somehow expect those paths to converge when we enter a romantic relationship. For many of us, we naturally assume that while our counterparts might look different, they should think, feel, behave and act like us.
It’s a dangerous way of thinking that causes plenty of frustration, resentment, disappointment and even heartache when we try to, well, relate.
Hello Mars. Hello Venus.
Despite our vast differences, men and women can complement each other in extraordinary ways — as long as we try to understand and embrace these beautiful contradictions, complexities and differences.
Today on The Daily Guru, we are sharing some of the more generalized differences between men and women and how they can affect the dynamics of a relationship. At closer inspection, it is noted that characteristics such as external and internal dialogue, emotions, identity, intimacy and roles and responsibilities can diverge between the two sexes in varying ways.
External Vs Internal dialogue
Especially when it comes to conflict, the female brain is generally wired to think things through or vent externally. Verbally.
Women want to talk about it and tend to push the subject until they feel somewhat satisfied.
Men, on the other hand, often choose to deal with things internally — and avoid processing through conversation. They’ll put up a wall, retreat or pull away. They prefer to figure things out on their own and maybe talk about things later.
Men generally deal with stress by forgetting about or ignoring their feelings. Women de-stress by talking it out.
Emotional
Women tend to crave deeper, interpersonal relationships than men. Women have an innate curiosity about people, feelings and relationships, whereas men tend to get more caught up in practicalities and logic.
Women want to be understood. Men don’t have the same need for understanding — they instead crave acknowledgement, respect and appreciation.
Women are more expressive with their emotions. Women are filled with more intense feelings than men, and often know how to articulate those feelings better. They can definitively be described as more emotionally expressive: able to express a spectrum of emotions, ranging from joy and excitement to sorrow and dismay.
This heightened awareness of their own emotions also allows women to show varied levels of empathy when speaking with others. Furthermore, a woman’s innate connection to her own feelings grants her the ability to comprehend what others are going through on an emotional level.
On top of that, their readiness to communicate even the most complex aspects of their feeling encourages growth both in themselves and those with whom they interact.
Identity
It could be our feminine, more maternal side coming into play here, but women tend find their identity in relationships. They can be drawn to the idea of the relationship, not just the person.
Men more commonly find a sense-of-self in their work, hobbies and other vocations. Men often seek to define themselves through the success of their pursuits. It’s common for men to use their work, hobbies, and other areas of focus as a platform for self-definition. Finding purpose and meaning within these activities brings a unique sense of accomplishment to men that strengthens their overall identity.
Intimacy
A woman’s sexual drive can ebb and flow with her menstrual cycle, whereas a man’s can be more constant. A woman is usually more stimulated by touch, conversation and romance and drawn to personality over looks.
A man is often initially stimulated by sight. Visual stimulation from captivating sights is often a prominent feature of initial attraction for most men. From free works of art in public spaces to an unforgettable sunset that envelopes the clouds in its brilliant hue, these powerful visuals evoke passion and emotion.
A man can be instantly taken back to the simple destinations of childhood, when the beauty of his favorite National Park felt sublime or revel right away in the rock formations that jut out into vibrant oceanscapes. Not only can humans be moved by sights but they can also get a rush through seeing beloved experiences translated on screen too. Whatever it may be, a man’s visual stimuli are varied and can generate lasting impressions.
Roles and responsibility
Men and women often approach relationships differently due to societal expectations, such as an expectation for mothers to cook and care for the children and fathers to be the breadwinners. Outside of traditional defining roles like this, there can also be differing roles such as accountants, chefs, organisers, or disciplinarians.
Given these differences, it is important for both to understand and honour their own unique purpose in the relationship, as well as to acknowledge and respect the unique role of their partner. Such mutual respect allows both partners to thrive, paving the way for secure attachments and successful relational partnerships.
The Daily Guru Team
Articles written by our internal Daily Guru writers, who are certified & qualified growth & development professionals.
The Real Difference Between Men And Women When It Comes To Relationships
Men and women are basically entirely different species.
A girl may say she hangs with the guys more than her girlfriends or a guy may in fact be more sensitive than the average, however, they are still from completely different and separate planets. If you have not read it, you have probably heard of John Gray’s popular book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. The book focuses on improving relationships between men and women understanding the communication style and emotional needs of each gender because yes, they are very different.
READ ALSO: Why Choosing Yourself Over Any Relationship Is Not Selfish
Men and women have completely different natures, but hopefully this article will help to clarify things and provide a better understanding of such differences. Men and women need to appreciate these differences and stop expecting their partner to act and feel the same way he/she does. Relationships cannot and will not survive without clear, concise communication.
If you are not being open and honest with your partner then is your relationship really a relationship at all? When there is a lack of communication, things become one sided and either partner may start to feel like the other does not want to be in the relationship anymore.
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Simply put, men do not rate feelings as highly in their minds as women, while women don’t rate abilities as high as men. For example, men love to have their abilities recognized and appreciated and hate to have them scorned or ignored. On the other hand, women love to have their feelings recognized and appreciated and hate to have them ignored. Men like to solve problems on their own yet women like to solve problems in the relationship as a team. Men can sometimes view unsolicited assistance as an undermining of their effort to solve problems alone while women value assistance, and thus view unsolicited solutions as undermining their effort to proceed interactively.
Men want their solutions to be appreciated; women want their assistance to be appreciated and somewhere along the line all this gets misunderstood.
Dating essentially becomes this intense battlefield of mind games that no one really knows how to navigate and results in explosive fights for no good reason.
When faced with tough times, men become non-communicative so they can work out how best to help themselves, while women become communicative so that others can work out how best to help them. When men do communicate, they like to get to the point, but women enjoy talking for its own sake. Thus a gap in communication is created and we have the root of most problems in a relationship. Fixing this break in a couples' communicating methods is a great step towards better understanding the needs of your partner.
When it comes to actually talking, men and women speak in very different ways.
They basically speak two completely different languages. Men talk in very literal terms while women use a more artistic and dramatic vocabulary to fully express their feelings. Men like to sort their thoughts out before communicating them and thus become distant and non-communicative as they ponder their feelings. However, women like to sort their thoughts out by talking about them and have the tendency to provide a repetition of grievances as they express their concerns. This difference between men and women can lead both to feeling personally to blame for the others problems - which is not true, but the divide in communication can make it seem that way.
It is also important to note that nobody really needs someone.
Yeah sure, it is nice to have someone to hold at night and it feels good to share your life with another human being, however, men and women were each built to survive independently.
A man's instinct is to look after himself first and foremost, while women have valued their independence long before they were even given civil rights. Each partner has to learn how to care for their partner rather than sacrificing his/her needs in favour of their own.
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Relationships are about give and take, but if one keeps taking and never gives, the relationship breaks. When you are in a relationship, you can't only think about yourself. You have to consider the thoughts and feelings of your partner and sometimes have to put their needs before yours. Again, this is difficult for both men and women because each is used to being on their own. Both have to remember to accept and forgive the other, and avoid blaming them when they fail.
To accommodate one another, each partner should make small adjustments to their behaviours and communication methods without compromising their own true natures.
For example, men feel gratified when they are left to sort things out by themselves and feel undermined by being offered sympathy or help while women feel the opposite. Women feel gratified by being offered support and feel undermined when they are left to sort things out by themselves. It is important to recognize this difference and remember it when issues in the relationship arise. Everyone needs time alone and space from time to time, however, our partner only wants to help because he/she cares. Do not fault them for trying to be there for you.
As John Gray puts it in his book, men are like rubber bands and women are like waves.
Men emotionally bolt when they fear that their self-sufficiency is threatened. At these times, they become unapproachable and demand they be left alone and be allowed to not express their feelings.
But if they are given support in the form of space, they soon feel better and spring back into their usual selves. It can be hard for women to handle the harshness with which men retreat and then subsequently spring back.
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In contrast, women will from time to time emotionally sink into themselves. They may become negative and start to dwell on every problem which troubles them, including ones which have already been raised and solved before. Plus, if they cannot find any real issues to concentrate on, then they will find some random other thing to worry about. If women are supported and allowed enough time to express and release their negative feelings, they will start to feel happy again and return to their usual selves. The slowness in which they sink into negativity and subsequently recover may be hard for men to handle.
Partners must recognize these differences in each other in order to handle them and move past them as a team.
Sometimes in relationships, negative feelings can appear without warning and we suddenly become upset or even worse, distant from our partner. When this happens, we need to encourage our partner and ourselves to work through it, accepting that it may take time and that time alone may be needed to sort through it.
There is no denying that love changes over time.
The blissful honeymoon period we feel when we first fall in love does not last forever and our personal faults and negative baggage become exposed over time. It is then when we must decide whether to work through it or let it consume our relationships. But if partners stick with each other through the highs and lows, that initial bliss gradually changes into a mature love which becomes stronger with each year.
Maybe 2017 will be the year you find and establish this mature love, or maybe it will be a year of independent discovery.
Regardless of how things turn out, each relationship provides a lesson.
You learn more about who you are as an individual, but you also learn more about the opposite sex. You not only learn what you want from a relationship, but also gain a better understanding of both men and womens' wants and needs.
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We talk about the most common mistakes that men make in relationships0003
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Last week we found out why men leave women - experts told how to avoid trouble. Today we approached the issue from the other side - after all, men are also abandoned, they are also rejected by women, and they suffer after another unsuccessful romance (surviving a breakup over a bucket of ice cream and a tearful film). A man may not even know why the same scenario is repeated over and over again and where the error is, and most importantly, what. We asked experts Anna Portnova and Lina Dianova to explain what the matter is all the same - men, be strong. nine0197
— The first step is always expected from a man. A man by nature is a conqueror, he must be the first to take the initiative. A woman is waiting for actions, and not having received them, she can go to another, more decisive one, to the one who will conquer her.
Men do not want to be rejected, they are afraid of rejection.
It often takes a man more time to understand that he made the right choice. Many times a rejected man will be afraid to start something new, lack of experience in relationships is also a reason to make many mistakes, without deciding to take a serious step. Lack of initiative provokes self-doubt - explains Anna Portnova, psychologist and family relations therapist.
Anna Portnova is a psychologist and family psychotherapist with 20 years of experience in the field. Works at the Rivendell Family Medicine Center.
— A man's refusal to work on relationships is explained by his recognition of his weakness — I don't know something, I can't solve the problem myself and I ask for help. Turning to someone for help, a man is forced to be frank, talking about his weaknesses and mistakes. For many, this is unbearable, it is difficult for men to be open and vulnerable. A woman needs to explain to her partner that working on relationships is important for maintaining them, and going to a specialist will not mean that sitting in a chair, he admits that he is a fool, the specialist explains.
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— Jealousy is usually associated with personal experiences — it is the fear of being alone. It happens that a man is afraid of not matching his woman and does not want to be in a situation where he will feel inappropriate. Jealousy can be caused by childhood trauma - left, left alone. A person becomes so uncomfortable with memories that he gets into strong emotions, begins to worry, without wanting it himself, but cannot prevent it and brings the situation to paranoia. Often jealousy is associated with betrayal - for example, in a past relationship, a woman cheated on a man under his nose, so now he has completely lost confidence in them, Anna continues to explain. nine0003
“Sometimes jealousy is caused by nationality,” says Anna Portnova
Photo: Yury Orlov / Network of city portals
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Something went wrong - once, twice, three times. A man becomes discouraged, he has a depressed mood, maybe emotional burnout.
In his woman, he sees a friend, a shoulder to lean on and complain about how unfair the world is. According to the expert, this approach is risky - in love, a woman wants to be happy and carefree, or maybe she herself needs a man's shoulder, and she is not able to listen to the negative stories of her man. In properly built relationships, everyone is stable on their own, without codependencies. nine0003
- Behind this lies the personal story of a man from childhood. He will try to realize unfulfilled needs in his mother with every new woman. This is a matter of psychiatry - a man must find a mother in his mother, whatever she may be, and stop looking for a comforter and a milky breast in every woman. Relationships are doomed to failure until he finds someone who can give him what he wants - this is a matter of compatibility and fulfillment of needs. There are women who want to become such "mothers". As a rule, in such relationships, a woman is usually older than her partner, says Anna and gives an example about Anna Karenina and her young lover.
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Anna Portnova says that relationships should not be dependent - everyone has their own life and personal space Either this is innate narcissism and selfishness - typical for a man who was the “golden” child in the family and was used to receiving all the attention only to his person, or, conversely, in childhood he did not receive anything and in adulthood he decided to live exclusively for himself. nine0003
— A man is used to putting himself first — he can do this both consciously and unconsciously. There are men who blur the boundaries: what is mine is yours, there are those who clearly establish them: I have my own life, you have your own, somewhere we intersect, but somewhere not. Someone wipes himself with one towel, and someone starts three pieces of different ones, and it is forbidden to touch someone who is not your own. This is more of an American type of relationship, which is becoming fashionable today, but it will be difficult for our women to accept such a way of life.
Perhaps young people are already coming to such a way - this is a matter of their comfort, - the specialist explains. nine0003
Lina Dianova, psychologist, gestalt therapist, 11 years of study, 3 years of practice, consults online and offline.
According to Lina Dianova , once upon a time the understanding that a man plows the field and a woman cooks his dinner simplified everything. There were no questions about who had power. The survival of the family depended on the man, and it was for this reason that divorce was perceived as a tragedy. For the same reason, there was no time to think about feelings - the pressure and responsibility placed on men's shoulders were too strong. Difficulties arose when a man and a woman stood on the same level. nine0003
— Now each of them, if desired, can completely cover their needs without resorting to compromises with a partner: sex, food, care, money — for this you no longer need to be married or in a permanent relationship.
Men suddenly realized that they have feelings, that they also want something from a woman, and this is not limited to borscht or bed. But what to do about it? How to tell a woman about her feelings and needs, if gender stereotypes say that feelings are for women? Remember how many offensive expressions there are associated with male feelings: “You cry like a woman”, “Nuni hung out”. All this is designed to shame, suppress the feelings that arise in any man, - the expert explains the current situation. nine0003
According to Lina Dianova, there is nothing wrong with the manifestation of feelings by men, the worst is their suppression
Photo: Yury Orlov / Network of city portals
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Not understanding their feelings, not talking about them, a man (and any person) generally ceases to understand what he wants. According to Lina, this is the main male mistake in a relationship:
- For example, every time your wife refuses you sex, you feel rejected, inferior, it seems to you that she does not want you as a man.
If you do not understand and acknowledge your feelings, you will only feel angry, because it is socially acceptable for a man to feel angry. nine0003
Then, instead of clarifying the situation, telling her how you feel and asking why, you will poison her life with petty niggles, turn on blackmail and manipulation, because anger requires an outlet. It is likely that this will only exacerbate the problem with sex. Speaking honestly about our feelings, showing ourselves vulnerable to a partner, we take a step towards another. Trying to disguise it as independence, pretending “we didn’t really want to”, we hurt the partner and move away ourselves,” Lina explains and adds that the problem is solved only through an honest presentation of a claim. nine0003
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