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12 Reasons Why Older Women Like Younger Men

Falling for a younger man isn’t wrong, provided the reasons are sensible and mature.

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Do older women like younger guys? It is a question that even women falling in love with a younger man are uncertain of. Love is a beautiful emotion, and it has no barriers. Even the age factor could not stop anyone from loving someone. That’s why we see many women breaking the stereotype that women can fall for only older or same-age men. Times are changing, and many women are having successful relationships with younger men. Also, the bond between an older woman and a younger man seems to have its benefits over time. Keep reading this post to understand the reasons behind this kind of love and why it can be a very healthy relationship for many.

Why Do Older Women Like Younger Men: 12 Possible Reasons

Everyone is free to love a person of their own choosing. If an older woman chooses a younger man as her partner, she will have her personal reasons. Here are a few common ones.

1. She finds him physically fit

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An older woman may love a younger man because of his physical fitness. Being young, if a guy is disciplined in his diet and workout regimen, he is likely to have a good body. And if the woman has always been fit herself, she is more likely to get attracted to a young man who is equally motivated and dedicated towards physical fitness.

2. She finds him attractive

As men age, they may lose hair, grow pot bellies, and get wrinkles. For a woman who is particular about a partner’s appearance, these signs of aging might make a person unappealing to her. On the other hand, a younger man will have a relatively fresh appearance without the usual signs of aging. Also, vitality could be a strong attraction.

Related: When You Feel Attracted To Someone, Do They Feel It Too? 15 Signs

3. She feels confident in bed

If an older woman has been married or in a relationship before, she is more confident with a man who has relatively less experience. She can feel comfortable taking the lead and having her needs met.

4. She finds the relationship more exciting

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A younger man is high on energy and more open to new experiences. He may be more willing to experiment and take off on an impromptu adventure. Older men may not be able to be as risky. This quality adds excitement to a relationship between an older woman and a younger man.

5. She wants to feel youthful

Dating a younger guy means learning new-age lingo, discovering the latest trends, experimenting with looks, and living a more youthful life. All these can be the perks of dating a younger man. An older woman may have spent her youth chasing after a career and may have missed out on the fun that girls her age have. So, having a younger boyfriend can help her relive her youth and enjoy it.

6. She gets the validation she wants

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When women are past their prime age, they are considered old and often even unattractive. For such women, dating a younger man helps prove that age has not affected her attractiveness, and that she is still as desirable as she was some years ago. A younger man easily validates that she is not old, nor unattractive.

7. She feels she has better chances of getting pregnant

Younger men are often considered more fertile. So, if an older woman wants to become pregnant, she might believe there is a better chance of that happening a man younger. Although, there is no guarantee that any particular younger man will be more fertile.

8. She is not dependent on him

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Older women are likely to have a stable career and be financially secure. So, when she chooses a partner, it tends not to be about wealth. Her relationship is a choice and not a necessity. With a younger man, she is also better positioned to make decisions as she is independent and does not need to seek his permission..

Related: 25 Dos And Don'ts When Starting A New Relationship

9.

She likes to be in charge in a relationship

Dating a younger man can enable a woman to hold the reins of the relationship in her hands. Since she has more life experience, she may have a better say in important matters. She is consulted for important advice. If she is financially more stable than the younger guy, she is most likely to be the decision-maker in the relationship.

10. She likes the attention he showers upon her

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If the older woman is more successful than her younger partner, she is likely to be admired. He may be with her because he is in awe of her personality and passion. He likes her for all that she is and is not stingy in expressing his love and admiration for her. Being with someone who admires her is what a woman would like, isn’t it?

Related: 20 Absolute & Passionate Signs That He Is Making Love To You

11. She derives a thrill out of it

Some women love breaking societal norms and ageist stereotypes. They do not believe in needing to follow all that is generally approved by society at large. They want to stand out, and dating a younger man certainly does that for them. They enjoy people’s reactions when they learn about the age gap and derive immense pleasure from having a young attractive man at their side.

12. She is in love with him

Lastly, some older women like younger men because they have truly fallen in love, and they want to continue the wonderful feeling of love. You cannot plan to fall in love. When it happens, it happens. And, age hardly makes a difference in matters of the heart.

1. What is it called when an older woman likes a younger boy?

A romantic relationship between an older woman and a younger boy is sometimes called “cougar love”. However, it is becoming increasingly common for several celebrity couples to have a successful relationship where a woman is older than a man.

2. Does age matter in a relationship when the woman is older?

While many believe that age could be a guiding factor for several aspects of a relationship, with recent trends, there can also be possibilities of a successful and long-lasting association between an older woman and a younger man.

Older women like younger guys because they reconnect them with their youth and bring some freshness and excitement into their more mundane lives. These guys are attractive and physically fit, and they continue at their age to work at it. Bedroom encounter expectations are highly active and passionate, and further increase attractiveness.

Key Pointers

  • The driving factors of older women falling for younger men could be physical fitness, youthfulness, and the flattering nature.
  • Younger men also tend to add a touch of delight, excitement, and vigor into older women’s prosaic lives.
  • While listening to the heart, you should also think practically before committing.

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Ratika has experience writing in various fields including finance, education, lifestyle, and entertainment. After her masters degree in Commerce, she acquired a PG Diploma in Communication and Journalism from Mumbai University. She is inquisitive about human relationships and likes to study people and how they manage their relationships, during her freetime. At MomJunction, Ratika writes insightful and informative articles on...
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Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and family business consultant, who has earlier been a graduate instructor/advisor, an organizational learning consultant, and hospice volunteer. With experience working in the private as well as corporate setting, Sharon helps her clients think creatively and build upon their strengths. Previously, she trained Russian psychiatrists in Moscow in the skills...
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3 Reasons Why Women Might Want to Be with Younger Men

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When an older man is in an intimate relationship with a younger woman, we rarely bat an eye. It's a relationship structure that we have become used to seeing in our culture. George and Amal Clooney, Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones — the list goes on and on. However, we are much less accustomed to seeing relationships in which the woman is noticeably older than the man.

When we do see these relationships, we tend to think of her as an object of his sexual fantasy (think of Stifler's mom in American Pie). Older women are also sometimes fetishized (there are "MILF" categories in pornography, for example).

But a new study published in the Journal of Sex Research challenges what we might think we know about "cougars" by asking women who date younger men about their experiences and motivations.

The research suggests that not only does dating younger men allow women to break down some social norms and barriers that might otherwise be present during heterosexual sexual interactions, but women reported high levels of sexual pleasure and satisfaction within these intimate partnerships.

The Study

Dr. Milaine Alarie at the Institut National de la Research Scientifique, in Montreal, interviewed 55 women aged 30 to 60 who reported having relationships with younger men (termed "age-hypogamous intimate relationships"). In order to be eligible for this study, women had to be in a relationship with a man at least five years younger than herself. There was no criterion related to length of relationship. In that sense, women reported on their experience of dating as well as casually sleeping with partners.

The Findings

1. Women were attracted to younger men's sexual stamina.

Over the course of the interviews, women in the study reported that they were more sexually drawn to younger men because they believed younger partners had more to offer sexually. Specifically, women indicated that compared to men their own age, they felt younger men tended to have higher sex drives, could last longer during sex (or be physically ready to have sex again sooner), and had more reliable erections. Given that many women in this study described having a fairly high level of sexual desire, they saw this as a very positive aspect of dating younger men. As one woman said: "I have a big sexual appetite, very big. I might want to do it, like eight times a day, you know. So with a man in his 40s, he will find that fun the first week. But I can tell you after the second week he doesn't find it funny anymore."

2. Women felt more comfortable embracing their sexual assertiveness.

Women in the study also described how dating someone younger than them allowed for the disruption of certain restrictive gender roles. That is, in traditional heterosexual partnerships, the man is expected to be more sexually experienced, while the woman is typically more passive and receptive to his advances. Women in this study, however, felt that being older than their male partner allowed them to embrace their sexual assertiveness. Many women felt that younger men fantasized about older, sexually assertive, and experienced women and said their younger male partners were often appreciative of them taking a more active role.

Women also described feeling less preoccupied about rigid beauty standards that may have been restrictive earlier on in their lives. Some women described feeling more comfortable with their bodies now than they might have been when they were younger, which they described as translating into more sexual confidence. As one participant said: "Older women, we're more, you know, confident about ourselves. And we are going to walk into the room in our lingerie, if we have cellulite or not, you know? And a younger woman would be like, 'Oh my god! I can't wear this in front of him!'"

3. Women felt able to place greater importance on their own sexual pleasure.

Women in this study often described the importance of prioritizing their own pleasure during sex. Women said they liked dating younger men, because, from their experience, younger partners were more motivated to provide pleasure and satisfy them before they satisfied themselves.

As outlined previously, women described how they believed younger men had a higher level of sexual stamina, sexual openness, and perceived ability to have and maintain erections for longer and more enjoyable sexual encounters. Because of this, women felt they could ask for more of their sexual needs to be met. Some women also indicated (again, from their personal experience) that men their own age could be more preoccupied with their own erections and sexual pleasure than providing it. In that sense, women in this study indicated that they believed younger men were more motivated to please. As one participant shared: "Younger men try a bit harder — they want to impress you with their skills and their prowess, what they are able to do and to what extent they can pleasure you. I have the feeling that they try harder than older men."

Takeaway

Women who date younger men go against traditional sexual scripts. The findings from this study suggest that women who participate in age-discordant relationships may be more comfortable asserting their sexual needs, and they may experience heightened levels of sexual pleasure. Notably, the sample was largely Caucasian and highly educated, so it would be important to study a more diverse sample to better understand the full range of women's experiences.

The woman is older than the man. Relationship psychology + Video

Today, few people are surprised when a man chooses a woman older than himself. Moreover, the number of such pairs is growing. Sociologists predict that they are the future.

What is the reason for this choice? What attracts a man in older companions: the financial component, good sex or the search for "mommy"? Or maybe our society has already matured to give preference in relationships to a specific person, and not to his age, nationality, race, etc.? What do men really think about the age difference?

Frank answers from a practicing psychologist, gerontologist and business analyst - in a new material from the series "What men are silent about."

A woman older than a man

Mature and brave. Like a mother

There is an opinion that in a relationship with an older woman, a man seeks the same sense of security that he had in his childhood with his mother. Modern men are often happy to give the reins of government to a more responsible and organized woman and ... do not hide it.

Igor, business analyst, model, Mister Ocean Best Body 2017:

– I have a couple I know. He is 30 years old, and she is 45. At the same time, they look very harmonious and impressive. Here the woman set herself the goal of being young, and she does it very well.

Often there are stories when a woman tried to build relationships with peers or men older than herself, but she failed because they tried to manipulate her, to establish their own rules. But in a pair with a younger man, she already acts as a more experienced one. And a lot of guys love it. After all, she does not need to be taught anything, this is an already formed personality.

Such a companion will give advice herself, and in bed is more interesting, and when necessary, she will take under her wing and take care of. Many young girls are not interested in anything other than Instagram. And if a man wants to develop, then the personality of a person is important to him. Always interested in those people who are progressing.

Maxim Pylev, practicing psychologist, gestalt therapist, group psychotherapist, program manager of the Phoenix Rehabilitation Center:

– There is an opinion: the relationship that a boy develops with his mother largely influences his choice of a partner in the future . When a child grows up in a family with a rather domineering, ultimatum mother, he gets used to such a pattern of behavior, when many issues in the family are decided by a woman, when she is the leader. And if we take the aspect that after the war the boys were brought up purely by women and did not know what a father's shoulder was, then the next generations are already looking for their mothers.

Pluses and minuses of couples of different ages

According to sociologists, the average duration of a union where a woman is older than a man is about 12 years. Couples of the same age or those in which the man is older, on average, last 6-7 years.

Andrei Ilnitsky, specialist in gerontology and geriatrics, professor:

– As for marriages of different ages, there is no evidence that they are happier or more unhappy. I don't think age matters. Our choice is often determined by individual psychological characteristics. Some people are sexually attracted to those who are older than them. It's just a feature, nothing unusual about it. From the point of view of gerontology, the most important thing is that a person is not alone.

Maxim Pylev:

- I would avoid stamps. In any case, these unions have a number of pros and cons. To say that they are doomed to failure, I would not. But I don't think that they are the future.

Advantages of a relationship with an older woman

  • Psychological

Maxim Pylev:

– Psychologically, a man matures later. And for him, a woman who is older can be such an example to which he aspires, an incentive for development. He wants to match.

  • Biological

Maxim Pylev:

– Women after 30–35 years of age have an increased need for sex. They open up, become more feminine, blossom. It becomes difficult with men of their own age, because just at this age, their libido begins to fade. And I'm not even talking only about the sexual component. This applies in general to the love of life, activity. A woman at the age of 40 is ready to move mountains, she is in good shape, but her peer often already prefers to lie on the couch. In that sense, younger men are much more suitable."

  • Social

Maxim Pylev:

- Such couples can be more stable due to the fact that a woman is more conscious, becomes a stable figure. She understands what she wants from life, from relationships. She has already achieved something in her career, and she already has a status. A younger partner is attracted to these things when a woman is of high status, when she does not need to solve her issues in addition to her own issues.

Disadvantages of a relationship with an older woman for a man

Maxim Pylev:

– When he is 20 and she is 30, the age difference is not so noticeable. But if he is 40, and she is already over 50, then problems may arise. A woman gradually loses her attractiveness, and a man approaches that same midlife crisis and begins to look at younger girls. Nature can take its toll here. Yes, and a woman often has a lot of jealousy. All these moments can lead to a break in relations.

Mentality in action

Igor Senyut:

– Sometimes you meet a person 10 years older and realize that this is your soul mate. And then you don’t think about age, but you still remember the stereotypes: “so they said, so they say. ” I myself am from a small town, where public opinion presses very hard. When I moved to Minsk, I noticed that here no one pays much attention to who you live with, how you dress, what you eat. In small villages, towns, it is still there. Personally, I prefer to think for myself every time I encounter a situation: do I really think so myself or is it the influence of stereotypes.

Andrei Ilnitsky:

– After all, Belarusians as a nation were formed in villages and towns. There you could always see, whether you wanted it or not, what was going on nearby. Therefore, even while living in Minsk, you meet people with such an understanding of life. There is public attention, we still have fear: “What will people say?” But as a geriatrician, gerontologist, in terms of age difference, I don’t see anything wrong. Moreover, one often sees how people create families in nursing homes for the elderly. And this is good.

Your life is your choice

Igor Senyut:

– The world has changed. Somewhere for the worse, but somewhere for the better. People are less and less criticized by what choice they make: older or younger, what color of skin, etc. People create their own destiny. We have moved away from the communal tribal system, when parents chose a husband or wife. Now you decide, but it is important to do it consciously. Someone builds a family at the age of 20 and then lives happily (I know such examples), while others at the age of 30-40 are afraid to take a step and have not yet understood who they are.

Maxim Pylev:

– I often visit Europe. There are couples like this are not uncommon. For us, this is still a subject of discussion. But changes in society are always happening. Once upon a time, divorce was considered a huge shame, but now it is a common experience. Perhaps we have now begun to pay more attention to what kind of person is next to us, to see, first of all, a person. Although personally I think that nature will win. And although such unions will exist, they are unlikely to be the majority.

Andrei Ilnitsky:

– I am amazed when people start to condemn such things. When someone is older, or when same-sex marriages, or contracted at 75 and older. Well, what's wrong with that? Two adults met, they somehow decide for themselves how to live. For me, as a doctor, the main thing is that a person is not alone. Because when he is married or in a relationship with someone, then he needs to move, adapt to the other: to his mood, smells, to the food that the other loves. All this contributes to brain stimulation, new neural connections and contributes to the prevention of dementia. These processes do not occur alone. Therefore, it is better to be in a pair. And with whom, it's everyone's choice.

Video — Svetlana Stakhovskaya, Andrey Voskresensky.

The materials on the 24health.by website are for informational purposes and are intended for educational purposes. The information should not be used as medical advice. Diagnoses and prescribes treatment only your doctor. The editors of the site are not responsible for possible negative consequences resulting from the use of information posted on the site 24health.by.

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When a woman chooses a much older man: what does it mean?

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Man and womanKnow thyself

Everyone remembers from school days that girls develop faster than boys physiologically and, as a result, psychologically. While classmates awkwardly pull their pigtails and defiantly communicate only with each other, a good half of the girls are drowning in romantic dreams about Seryozha from 11 "A".

This trend persists until about 23-25 ​​years old: peers are not very interesting, and girls choose older men. However, when the age difference is 10, 15, or even 20 years, the reason lies not only in physiology.

According to Freud

Sigmund Freud also wrote that parents become prototypes of the partners we choose. Boys fall in love with girls who look like their mother, girls fall in love with men who look like their father.

Many women instinctively look for older men because they did not receive father's love, care and attention in childhood. There are many options, but perhaps they were not told in childhood: “I love you” or “You are my princess.” Or maybe the woman grew up in an incomplete family, where for some reason there was no father.

Another sad story, when the father was physically present, but emotionally he was not. A prime example is alcoholism. You cannot rely on such a father and get support. At the moment when he is most needed, he goes on a binge. And the girl is desperately looking for love, understanding and care from others and most often does not find it.

Fear of separation from parents

When a woman has not achieved complete autonomy from her parents, she seeks to return to this relationship. She is afraid to lose the parent-child connection forever. It is cozy in the parental nest and I want the man nearby to become a senior comrade or guardian who will provide financially and help morally. Such a woman cannot (and more often does not want to) solve financial issues on her own and feels uncomfortable without support. She is very afraid of being alone.

Family scripts

Children are unconsciously passed on generic life scripts that are reproduced from generation to generation. A striking example is when all women in the family are unlucky with their husbands: they drink, beat or gamble, but their hands are “golden”. And women endure, raise children and pass this script on to their daughters.

In such cases, they say that it is “written by birth”. And if “it is written in the family” for a man in a couple to be older than a woman, he, obviously, will die earlier. And the woman will need to cope with this situation, survive it psychologically.

Inequality

A man chooses a woman younger than himself also for a reason.

These relationships are often based on inequality, since parent and child are, by definition, unequal. The reverse side of security and comfort is the dominance of a man, in which a woman has to sacrifice her own "I", push it into the background.

A man can consider a woman as a material from which he molds an ideal partner. He can be annoying with constant instructions and moralizing. Considering himself more experienced and wise, he will single-handedly make important decisions for both.

It is very difficult to get along with such a person. Especially if he is jealous of his young and attractive wife, while he is rapidly aging. Then the desire to limit the communication of the partner with the same age will be added to the moralizing.

Benefit

At the same time, a mature man is a reliable rear behind which a woman feels good for many reasons:

  • Material benefit. A financially accomplished man is a reliable support for a family in which a woman can take care of the house, hobbies and raising children without needing anything.
  • Interesting personality. An adult man is a person who has seen and knows a lot. Of course, it is more interesting with him than with a peer who has not yet decided who he is and what interests him.
  • Emotional support and care. With age, men begin to understand women a little, or at least pretend to. They know how to listen and support in difficult times, which can be difficult for young couples.
  • Reliability. A mature man has already "worked up", he knows what he wants. It is not scary to create a family with him, you can rely on him.
  • Sexual life. Experienced knows how, how much and what a woman wants, and is not obsessed with her sexual success.

Pitfalls

  • Different values ​​and interests. Partners listened to different music in their youth, read different books, watched different films. On the one hand, this can be a problem, on the other hand, on the contrary, it increases interest in each other.
  • Unflattering comparison with previous wives and partners. There is a risk of getting taunts about culinary abilities, habits, skills. The main thing here is to gently but firmly make it clear that you are you. What he was used to was left in the past, with which he himself decided to part.
  • Unwillingness to have children. He has children from previous marriages and wants no more. He, as they say, "ate" and wants to live for his own pleasure, while the young woman is ripe for the family.
  • Disharmony in activity. An ideal weekend for a man is at home on the couch, and his partner misses skiing. Here it is important to negotiate, find compromises and spend leisure time both together and separately from each other. For example, one weekend you stay at home, the second you spend in nature, the third - the husband lies on the couch, and the wife goes skiing with her friend.

The chances of a long-term relationship

If the parent-child relationship suits both, the chances of the couple staying together are high. What is important is not the age difference as such, but how old each of the partners is. With age, we better understand who we need, learn to build relationships, discuss problems, instead of slamming the door, and try to be more condescending to each other's shortcomings.

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