Why have a relationship


Why Are Personal Relationships Important?

December 16, 2021

We often take it for granted how much personal relationships affect us and how they can change our lives for better or worse. Relationships are one of the most beautiful gifts in life because they give people a chance to love and be loved.

Importance of Personal Relationships

In a society where people are more connected than ever before, it can be harder to keep our relationships healthy. However, with the advent of social media and technology, people have easier access to communication with others. 

Relationships elongate lives.

A study revealed that people who enjoy a healthy relationship with their partner live longer. These relationships can be platonic as well as romantic. There is a correlation between both types of relationships and the type of stress one deals with throughout life.

People who have a strong sense of belonging also live longer. They feel as if they are part of a supportive network which makes them more resilient to stress and other negative events that occur in life.

Relationships bring great joy.

Relationships are a cornerstone of happiness and living a full life. This is because they come with a wide array of rewards.

Relationships provide us with friends and family to share our lives with and people who can help us out in tough times. They tend to bring us plenty of laughs and as a result lots of joy. Relationships have been around since the beginning of time. Therefore, it’s no surprise that they have been the bedrock for many other things throughout histories such as family, community, and future goals.

Relationships provide support to get you through rough times.

Relationships provide support to get you through rough times. Having someone to help us through these struggles can make all the difference. Family and friends can be there for you and support you when other people cannot.

If we don’t have a strong support system behind us, it is important to find one. Seek out organizations who are trying to fight for causes you beleive in, or even social groups you find interesting. There are many ways to gain a group!

Relationships keep us from being lonely.

Relationships should be seen as a valuable investment. While we all need time to ourselves, we also require relationships and other forms of support to live a healthy and happy life.

Having alone time is a necessity, but lonlieness can be a painful experince. Relationships help with any loneliness or feelings of isolation that may come up in the process of being alone for extended periods of time. 

Relationships help us with relating to others.

Different aspects of life can be enriched through relationships. The more we understand how relationships work, the more we can grow from them.

The way we see, relate to and interact with others has a huge impact on our lives!

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10 Reasons to Be in a Relationship

We all want reasons for the things we do and don’t do. When it comes to love, however, what we do is seldom reasonable. Here are some good reasons to be in a relationship and ways to keep yours on track.

  1. Remember that being in a relationship is good for you. Statistics show that married people live longer than their unmarried counterparts. They also have higher happiness levels. There is no crime in being single—it may be your destiny—but marriage does seem to make sense from a health standpoint.
  2. Those who continue to create more love in their lives also create more opportunity, money, and fun. When you have someone by your side who is striving for the same goals, they are attained much more easily.
  3. Relationships can help to make us better people. Often we have the energy to do things for others that we wouldn’t do for ourselves. Love is powerful in that way. If your partner brings out the best in you, he or she is a keeper.
  4. You can get more done when you have a partner. Sometimes it’s a matter of motivation. Other times it’s just nice to have company. Whatever the reason, four hands can get more done than two. Putting your heads and hearts together helps as well.
  5. Turning things around can be much easier than you think. Usually we are just being stubborn or resentful. Dropping your attitude and appreciating that your other half has been putting up with your peccadilloes can help to make you more understanding.
  6. Doing something nice for your mate, “just because,” makes life sweeter for both of you. Do nice things for no good reason, and be appreciative when that favor is returned. Life doesn’t give us many free lunches.
  7. Most people have more fun playing with others. Doing things by yourself can be very fulfilling for some, but many folks like the idea of enjoying life with a partner.
  8. Having someone who knows you deeply is validating. This is the gift of knowing that the wonderful things you do are not going unnoticed, and it gives you more reason to do them.
  9. Romance creates warmth, hope, and happiness. The more you have, the more you will enjoy your life. It sounds simple because it is.
  10. Having a hand to hold as you go through life makes the difficulties we all experience easier to deal with. When things go awry, knowing that your mate has your back will allow you to go through whatever you have to and come out the other side a more positive person.

I’m sure there are a number of people who could write an opposing column. I just believe in the power of relationships and would rather be in one that I’m working on (which should never stop) than have no one to improve with. A good relationship makes both of you better, and besides, it’s more fun when you have someone to share the ride with.

Why relationships are needed

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Maria Malysheva

Female beauty specialist, counseling psychologist, nutritionist

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Text: Maria Malysheva

psychology of men and women relationships

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Quite often people ask themselves: what is the relationship for? And this question arises not only among single people who are trying to find the reason for their loneliness, but also among people who have a soul mate. nine0005

Indeed, why start a relationship at all, if most often you can fully understand what you need only on your own?

Physical needs

Although this option is rather crude, it is one of the reasons for trying to build a relationship. In order for a person to be healthy, he must satisfy all his needs, one of which is sex. Some people initially start a relationship for this very purpose, knowing that no serious relationship will come of it. But if we compare the need for food and the need for sex, then the latter will be less important, especially since the desire to have sex is perfectly suppressed by other sublimated activities, such as sports. Thus, the physical need, although it is the answer to the question: why are relationships needed, but far from being the main one. nine0005

Communication

The next answer to the question: why start a relationship is communication. Man is a social being, and therefore needs to communicate. Despite the fact that in today's world there are many ways to communicate, live relationships still remain indispensable. Of course, you can also communicate with friends, for this it is not necessary to find a soul mate. But often friends do not cope with this task. Firstly, you may not have one with them, which means they will not be able to devote much time to you, and secondly, today people have fewer friends, more and more acquaintances. The second half in this regard is a more stable and permanent option. nine0005

Understanding

If a person has many friends, it is not always possible to tell them personal thoughts and experiences. Usually, time with friends is spent discussing neutral topics, such as work or school. Having a relationship suggests that you and your partner have common views, a similar inner world, which means you can understand each other more than your friends can do. Therefore, if you have the love of your life, then all experiences cease to languish in your head, but find a place with your soulmate. nine0005

Support

Another reason why relationships are needed is support. A person faces various difficulties throughout his life, and keeping all this in himself means constantly worrying and worrying. Returning home after a hard day, talking about your day and getting support from your significant other is a great way to talk, calm down and relax.

Self-improvement

Very often love and the desire to start a relationship make a person improve. For example, in order to please a certain person, you begin to study topics of interest to him, try to become better, highlight the most positive qualities in yourself. It happens that a person finds a soul mate in the process of self-improvement, which makes this reason for finding a relationship doubly productive. Even if you do not build a relationship, the fruits of self-improvement will remain with you forever. nine0005

Love

One of the main reasons why relationships are necessary is love. This is an inexplicable feeling that has been trying to unravel for many years. Everyone puts different concepts into it: it can be care, sex, support, respect, the impossibility of being without a certain person. But the fact that love brings unique and unforgettable feelings is a fact. Many are afraid to start a relationship because of the fear of becoming attached to a person and losing his love. But this is not a reason not to try to build it, because without love a person has a much more difficult time. Even if many attempts were not successful, one day there will be the very person who will simultaneously give you communication, understanding and support under the guise of love. nine0005

Therefore, relationships are an important part of human life. Do not be afraid to start them, and all unsuccessful attempts should be taken as experience. After all, only with experience you can find exactly the person who understands you, who you need. Do not give up trying and you will definitely find your love, which will make your life much easier and more positive.

Why does a person need a relationship: answers from psychologists

Relationships between a man and a woman are a specific topic, so it makes sense to immediately clarify what we are going to talk about this time, and what exactly is meant by the word “why”. We are not going to tell the obvious to those who already know why they are in a relationship. Yes, they are unlikely to read this article now, as they are busy with things (relationships) that are much more interesting than reading scientific articles. nine0005

Moreover, we are not going to explain why relationships are needed for those who have not needed them for a long time due to various objective and subjective reasons. The article, rather, is for those who are just building or intend to build their future: we can help figure out why someone might need a relationship with you. Yes, understanding another person and what he needs from you is often much more important than grooming and cherishing your dreams and desires. In any case, if you are interested in a healthy, harmonious relationship. nine0005

Now a little about psychologists. Almost every adult considers himself a little bit of a psychologist, and there are also a lot of holders of diplomas in the specialty "psychology" now. Every year, the army of certified psychologists grows by several thousand more people, and this is only among the Russian-speaking population, for which our blog is designed. All these psychologists were trained according to standard programs approved by the Ministry of Education, and therefore they say about the same thing, including about relationships. nine0005

Our task, firstly, is to present academic concepts in simple human language. And, secondly, to find something interesting and useful in the bowels of academic science, which will most vividly and figuratively illuminate the question “why does a person need a relationship?” and perhaps help you find your own exclusive answer to it.

Basic reasons for looking for relationships

First, let's look at the basic reasons why men and women go into relationships. One way or another, all psychologists talk about them, but each in his own way: some like this, some different. nine0005

The main reasons why people build relationships:

  1. Solving material and housing issues (relevant, first of all, for women who need a protector and breadwinner).
  2. The need for sexual partnership (relevant, first of all, for men, because a woman is chosen mainly on the basis of sexual attractiveness).
  3. Confirmation or improvement of social status (the minimum task is not to stand out and be like everyone else, the maximum task is to raise one's significance in society through relationships). nine0070
  4. Increasing self-esteem (self-sufficiency is the privilege of the few, most need confirmation of their own usefulness in the form of having a partner / partner, husband, family and a sense of their own need).
  5. The instinct of reproduction, the desire to procreate (almost everyone wants to see a "part of themselves", even the most selfish people).
  6. Compensation (nothing that I am not beautiful, but I have a rich and influential husband; nothing that I earn little, but what a beautiful wife I have). nine0070
  7. The desire to manipulate and dominate, cratic (from the Greek κράτος "power, rule") motivation (it is much easier to gain power over the one who loves you than over any other person).

Purely hypothetically, the last point could not be singled out, because cratic motivation is also part of the compensation mechanism. For example, for a person who would like to rule, but due to personal qualities he can never become a boss, family relationships become the only chance to show who is in charge here. However, the topic of achieving power over another person is much broader than simply compensating for one's own complexes, so it is better to single out the critical motivation for building relationships as a separate item. nine0005

So, we have considered the main reasons that motivate a man and a woman to build relationships. Now back to psychology for a moment. There are hosts and clouds of psychologists, but only a few are in demand ... Well, all right, dozens, a maximum of a couple of hundred psychologists in our post-Soviet space, indeed, are readable, revered and in demand, and for many generations. Not so much for the multi-million Russian-speaking population.

Why is it so, if everyone studied approximately according to the same curricula? But because almost everyone sees only the most obvious, which they talk about in every way, and only a few see more and deeper than the main reasons why people build relationships. Few can understand the intricacies of causes and relationships, and answer the question why you need a relationship and, more importantly, why a relationship with you may be needed. Let's try to unravel these intricacies at least a little. nine0005

Sigmund Freud about relationships

Sigmund Freud is known for his research in the psychology of the unconscious. It is he who owns the phrase, perhaps the most fully revealing the essence of a person's need for relationships: "We do not choose each other by chance - we meet only those who already exist in our subconscious."

Thus, in Freud's understanding, the subconscious is more responsible for a person's desire for relationships than a conscious choice. So if you figure out what your subconscious is looking for, you can easily understand why you really need a relationship. nine0005

Now the second and, as we wrote above, more important point. It is important to understand in whose subconscious we already exist. If everyone chooses only those who already exist in their subconscious, then we are chosen according to the same principle. If this is clear, then, after all, you will have to turn on your consciousness and try on the basic patterns for yourself.

For example, if a woman wants to feel protected always and everywhere, the probability of attracting the attention of a powerful or even despotic person is very high. If a man wants to reign supreme, then in choosing a partner he can count on a maximum of some “gray mouse” who does not want to take responsibility for his life. A determined and independent girl is unlikely to tolerate someone's despotism and total control. nine0005

Through the area of ​​the unconscious one can see practically all the visible and seemingly conscious reasons why people start or continue relationships. Of course, in this way you are unlikely to correct your subconscious, but at least reduce the degree of misunderstanding why your relationship develops this way and not otherwise.

And one more thought from the master of psychology: "A woman should soften, not weaken a man." Yes, this thought should be taken into account long before you have a first date. Few men will seek to be with a woman who makes him weaker. But the opportunity to be around someone soft, kind and caring looks clearly more attractive. By the way, being needed is also one of the motives why the stronger sex is looking for a relationship with the weaker sex. And one of the differences in motivation for relationships on the part of the stronger and weaker sex. nine0005

John Gray on men and women

John Gray's wonderful book called "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" can tell a lot about the differences between male and female psychology to those who will read carefully. And at the same time shed light on the question of why a person needs a relationship. The nuance is that, in the understanding of John Gray, the answer to the question "why?" will be different for men and women.

Reasons why men and women build relationships (according to Gray):

  1. A man needs trust, a woman needs care. nine0070
  2. A man wants freedom, a woman wants understanding.
  3. A man experiences a surge of strength and elation if he feels needed.
  4. A woman experiences a surge of strength and spiritual uplift if she feels that there is someone to take care of her.
  5. Two needs automatically alternate in a man: intimacy and independence.
  6. A woman is happy when she knows that her request for help will not be a voice crying in the wilderness.
  7. Love allows us to feel confident, open our souls and realize our feelings. nine0070

Yes, the only thing that truly unites a man and a woman is love. Despite all the differences, both men and women strive for love. And, although everyone puts their own meaning into this word, the results are very similar: self-confidence and self-confidence, readiness to trust and feel. Probably, for the sake of this it is worth working hard to overcome the differences, even if they are noticeable and significant.

Vladimir Levy about love

If love is the highest form of relationship between a man and a woman, a natural question arises: can the desire for love be the reason that prompts one to strive for relationships? Or can love be seen solely as the result of a relationship? And is it possible to say that love is what a relationship is for? nine0005

Perhaps the most intelligible definition of this relationship was the great scientist Vladimir Levy: “They love those they love. They love for anything and for nothing. They love for what they love. No attraction has anything to do with love, no success, no strength and beauty. Love cannot be earned, love is only given and received or not received.”

But, if so, why not leave this one item instead of all the main reasons why people build relationships? Simply because no one will ever be able to predict how long love will live.


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