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Why do i hate my coworkers


Get Along With Coworkers You Don’t Like

Hate is a strong word. But not strong enough! That’s how you can feel when you drive to work, gritting your teeth and chanting the mantra, “I hate my coworkers.” You probably don’t hate all of them. And if you do, don’t worry; you’re not alone.

In a survey by Quality Logo Products, 57% of workers say they hate a coworker so much that they have thought about looking for another job. Working from home surely relieves some of that stress, right? Not so much—55% of remote workers say the same thing. Not everyone takes workplace hate to that extreme. However, 90% of all employees surveyed say they have at least one coworker who annoys them.

Let’s take a look at the types of coworkers you might hate and learn how to get along with coworkers, even if you don’t like them.

The 9 Types of Coworkers You Hate the Most

Who are these annoying people you work with, and why do you hate them? And more importantly, how do you get rid of… er, learn how to deal with a coworker you hate? Here are a few of the most common objects of office annoyance. See if any of them sound familiar.

1. The Conversation Dominator

Sure, she knows a lot and has valid points. But she rambles on in every meeting and conversation, repeating her opinions until you can’t hear her over the throbbing in your head.

2. The Dr. Do Little or Nothing

This is the guy who never seems to be doing anything when he’s at his desk, which is rare. He contributes nothing during meetings, never volunteers to help on projects, and often passes his work off to others.

3. The Brownie Bragger

He thinks he’s the manager’s best friend and lets everyone know it. He goes out of his way to push you under the bus while tooting his own horn to the boss.

4. The Idea Stealer-Squasher

A cousin of the Brownie Bragger, this one never agrees with your opinions, criticizes everything you do, and then once she’s beaten you down, takes your idea and presents it as her own.

5. The Start-From-Scratcher

This is a special annoyance category just for new hires and newly promoted managers. He barrels into his new position like the proverbial bull in a China shop. By the end of day one, he has “fixed” everything from how to generate reports to the relocation of everyone’s desk.

6. The Make-Over Candidate

The guy who wears the same shirt three days in a row and might be the source of that “fragrance” in the corner where he sits can make you say, “Wow, I hate my coworkers.” His counterpart is the woman everyone notices because her wardrobe is mostly neon and sequins, and she reeks of the latest department store perfume.

7. The Noisemaker

Whistling, humming, pencil tapping, and having private conversations that nearby satellites can pick up. Everyone is annoyed at the Noisemaker, but no one does anything.

8. The Over-Sharer

You know about the Over-Sharer’s cat’s litter box habits, what they had for dinner last night and the night before, and every minor detail of their divorce decree.

9. The Virtually Annoying

Remote work has created some new reasons to say, “I hate my coworkers.” Among the most annoying remote coworkers are people who breach virtual meeting etiquette by not muting when there’s background noise, interrupting, eating on camera, and having an unprofessional background on video calls.

How Hating Your Coworkers Can Affect Your Work Life

Having strong negative reactions to a coworker can affect your health, productivity, and career prospects. The more energy you expend on active hate, the more at risk you are for headaches, digestive issues, and stress that causes high blood pressure. The more time you spend staring at them and seething, the less work you’ll complete.

It’s important to take action to deal with your feelings before they pile up and the volcano of your wrath explodes. It’s especially unfortunate if you lose your composure during a meeting with higher-ups or have a meltdown when the rest of the office is ominously silent.

Employees who say, “I hate my coworkers” too often can even become an annoyance themselves. Yes, we know you hate Bill. Yes, we know his gum chewing annoys you. No, we don’t want to get involved. If you don’t deal with it, you might become the one who’s hated. Or worse, you might be seen as a toxic employee or drama diva, causing you to lose out on a promotion or reference.

11 Ways to Deal With a Coworker You Hate

It’s normal to feel like you don’t know what to do when you can't stand a coworker. But think about this: While you’re churning, doing the dance of loathing, and interrupting your coworkers’ Zen, the only person your distaste may not affect is the coworker you hate. They just go on humming, criticizing, unmuting, and interrupting, oblivious to the effect they have on you.

There are lots of ways of coping when you hate coworkers. Here are 11.

1. Step Back

If you’re a card-carrying member of the I hate my coworkers club, get serious with yourself. Is it all of the people you work with? Are there a few you can tolerate or perhaps even like? Who exactly is getting under your skin? And why?

2. Isolate the Behavior

The first step in coping with an annoying coworker is to try to separate the person from the bothersome behavior. If you find yourself saying, “I just don’t like him. He’s trouble,” look deeper. If his loud phone conversations break your concentration, that’s valid.

But it might be that they remind you of someone you’ve locked horns with in the past. Even worse, they might remind you of… yourself. The uncomfortable truth is we often hate others because they display the traits we hate in ourselves. That’s why experts say if you want to improve yourself, you should study people you hate.

3. Connect With Them

Empathy is powerful. You never know what someone is going through that can affect their behavior. Maybe the loud talker has a hearing problem. The interrupter might be in a marriage where they can never get a word in edgewise anywhere but work. The hummer could be trying to block out the voices in her head (joking, not joking). Try to turn “I hate my coworkers” into “I don’t like my coworkers but I empathize with them.”

4. Determine if a Coworker’s Behavior Is Annoying or Egregious

Showing you pictures of fluffy modeling the latest cat fashion may make you want to hide under your desk. Stealing your client and their million-dollar contract crosses the line. But a coworker’s bad behavior does not give you a license to disrupt the office. Takes things into perspective.

5. Keep Your Hate to Yourself

While it may give you some relief to talk about someone who gets on your nerves, especially if others feel the same way, just don’t. It’s not going to stop their annoying behavior and it may make you look unprofessional. Don’t buy into gossip about someone before you’ve had issues with them yourself. Bob may be the office laughingstock, but perhaps it’s only because someone said something to someone and so on and so on. Get to know Bob yourself to see if he really stores his fingernail clipping in his desk drawer.

6. Learn How to Avoid a Coworker You Don't Like

Sometimes the only way you learn how to get along with coworkers is to find ways to avoid them. This won’t work if they’re your boss or subordinate. Otherwise, figure out how to avoid a coworker you don't like so you won’t see them during the day, especially one-on-one:

  • Don’t volunteer to work on projects where your cooperation is essential.
  • Decline invitations to extracurricular activities you know they will attend.
  • Rehearse small talk that will allow you to quickly leave the scene if you’re corned in the office kitchen.

7. If You Can’t Avoid Them, Then Set Boundaries

Sometimes figuring out how to work with people you don’t like is about setting boundaries. If it’s a noise problem, see if you can move your desk or wear noise-cancelling headphones. Fake a phone call when cat-lady starts heading your way, or simply tell her you’re in the middle of something and will try to look at the latest photo session later. Schedule any essential meetings with them right before other meetings, so there’s a firm endpoint to your conversation.

8. Create a Before-and-After Ritual

Take a couple deep breaths before going into a meeting they’ll be in. Have a I-hate-my-coworkers routine. Do something pleasurable before seeing them, perhaps have a piece of candy, listen to a song you love, or glance at a picture of your loved one. Then find a ritual you can do after an interaction to help you to cope. Maybe go to your car, drive out of sight of the office, and heave a good hearty primal scream. Or just head across the street to your favorite café and grab a well-earned latte.

9. Ask Yourself if You Could Be the Problem

This is a tough one. Is the person’s bad habit really that bad, or are you being overly sensitive? Do they trigger a bad memory? If you hate everyone in your workplace, and you think they don’t like you, maybe it’s because of your bad habit or behavior.

10. Manage Your Reaction

You can’t control someone’s behavior, but you have complete authority over how you respond. Making a scene is not helpful. If you decide it’s time to say something to the person, do it professionally, respectfully, and in private. For example, you could say, “John, I know you disagree with my approach to XYZ, but I was uncomfortable when you criticized me in that meeting. Do you have some time to meet to see if we can reach a compromise?”

11. Decide if You Should Involve Your Manager or HR

If you witness a coworker doing something unethical or harmful rather than just annoying, your best decision might be to let your boss or HR handle it. If it’s a personal issue between you and the coworker, think about whether it’s significant to bring to your boss. You may put them in an uncomfortable situation if they have to talk to a team member about hygiene or loud eating habits. As with most problems, try to go into that discussion with a possible solution to offer.

Get Better Coworkers With Monster

If more than one coworker gets under your skin, or you tell your family and friends “I hate my coworkers” more than once a week, maybe your job is not a good fit. Turn things around by applying to new jobs with better coworkers. Complete a Monster profile to let recruiters and hiring managers know you’re looking. Then, use your profile to apply directly to new jobs posted on Monster. We’ll also send the latest job postings right to your inbox, so your next lunch with the coworker who microwaves leftover fish is your last.

Hate Your Coworkers? Here Are 6 Things You Shouldn't Do About It

Work can make anyone a little irritable. That’s why there’s such a big market for coffee mugs that say things like, “Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee” or “I hate Mondays.”

Hopefully, your coworkers do their part to ease the burden of the weekly grind, but if the people you work with amplify the suckery of work tenfold, then you might have a problem. There are obvious coping mechanisms to avoid—like smashing your computer with a baseball bat a la Office Space.

But there are also methods of dealing that might seem logical at first, but actually end up making things worse in the end.

If you find yourself thinking on the regular, I hate my coworkers, here are a few things you definitely shouldn’t do to make the office copacetic.

The 6 things you should never do if you hate your coworkers

1. Ghost the issue

Why face the conflict head on when you can just slowly stew and let your resentment build? Some people might tell you to just ignore whoever it is that rubs you the wrong way, but in the end, you’re just going to make things harder on yourself.

Maybe you only hate your coworker from a distance, but if you got to know them, it might not be so bad. Or maybe you have gotten to know them and, just as you suspected, you still don’t like them. At this point, you have two main routes to consider.

First, you can listen to the folks who think that you catch more flies with honey, and try your best to be pleasant and amicable. If that’s not your style, then lay your cards on the table and let them know what’s bothering you—while remaining civil and professional. Try something specific and non-accusatory, like: Barb, I get the feeling that sometimes your jokes are at my expense, which is hurtful, or, Dan, when you interrupt me in meetings it’s disrespectful and it slows us down.

Either way, trying to avoid the issue by moving desks or rearranging your schedule is never going to solve the problem, it will just end up inconveniencing you in the end. And the problem still exists.

Read more: Boost Your Conflict Management Style (With a Little Help from The Office)

2. Put up walls

If you can’t stand your coworkers, then it’s easy to shut yourself off from everyone and get stuck in a rut of negativity. But in truth, they probably don’t all suck, and putting walls up will prevent you from making any relationships period—and we need good relationships at work.

You probably spend at least 40 hours a week at work, and that’s a lot of time to be alone. Even if you hate a coworker or two, don’t let it stop you from reaching out to other people. And hey, if you’re going out with a few coworkers, try inviting the ones you don’t like as well. You never know, they could be a completely different person outside of work...someone you might even get along with!

Read more: 20+ After-Hours Networking and Company Events That Aren’t Happy Hour

3. Not check in with your own attitude

A little self-reflection can help put things into perspective. Why do dislike your coworker? Was it something specific they said or did that rubbed you the wrong way? What might their motives have been? Could it be a misunderstanding?

The problem could also be rooted in deeper issues—like disliking your job as a whole, and not necessarily the people. And it might not have to do with surface-level problems—like Jerry from accounting microwaving his potent lunch every day. Reflecting on your feelings might offer a new perspective on the problem.

4. Let it keep you up at night

Boundaries are good. Boundaries are important. Boundaries will keep you sane. According to a 2014 Gallup report, most Americans are already working more than 40 hours a week. And not leaving work at work can exacerbate issues with coworkers.

In fact, failing to establish a work-life balance —in addition to already dealing with difficult coworkers—will seriously drain on your physical and mental health. A recent study from the University of Zurich and the University of South Florida found that participants who reported an unfavorable work-life balance were more likely to recover less and to feel more exhausted. In other words, bringing work drama home can cause you to literally lose sleep.

Read more: What to Say to a Lazy Coworker Who's Bringing You Down

5.

Adopt not-so-healthy habits

There are plenty of healthy ways to deal with workplace stress …and plenty of unhealthy ways. Having a few glasses of wine before bed or ordering takeout every night because you’re so drained from the day might make you feel better in the short term—we all need a treat every now and then. But be wary of using “treating yourself” as justification for bad habits.

Need some suggestions to replace that nightcap? Try unplugging every night by setting your phone down to charge and meditating or reading a book. Crave a little more activity? Lace up your shoes and go for a walk, jog, or bike ride around the neighborhood, and ask a friend to join you so you can vent. If you need more mental stimulation, consider picking up a hobby like knitting or crossword puzzles—both of which are way cooler than their reputation may lead you to believe.

6. Get in on the gossip

Maybe there’s one coworker in particular that pretty much everyone hates. So during lunch or around the water cooler (those still exist, right?), everybody starts piling on with complaints and insults. You want to build relationships, and mutual animosity is a heck of bonding tool, right? Wrong-o. That’s a big red flag, cue the alarm bells, do not pass go, do not collect $200. While it’s great to bond with everyone, you don’t want it to be at someone else’s expense—and office bullies are detrimental to company culture.

If you find yourself in this situation, try steering the conversation to another topic—or just openly say you’d prefer not to talk about it.

Read more: Are You Contributing to an Inclusive or Exclusive Workplace?

Er, maybe it's just time for a new workplace

Yeah, we get it. And we can help with that. Get matched to a job that actually supports you. With coworkers who don't suck.

Because of what colleagues can hate?

#1

#2

I will immediately say that in terms of fulfillment of labor duties, there are no complaints from the leadership and colleagues No. I’m in perfect order with hygiene and clothing, I go to corporate parties and DR and always chip in. I don’t gossip, I don’t discuss anyone behind my back, I try to help on work issues as much as possible and still didn’t please. Why do you think?

#3

#4

Unexplained guest

It seems like a neat person, works well, but something subtly annoys. February 27, 2018 It seems like a neat person, works well, but something subtly annoys.

#6

It seems like a neat person, works well, but something subtly annoys. February 27, 2018 Haven't thought about it? Because of this, I myself heard, by accident.

#10

#11

Guest

900

February 27, 2018 It's not a matter of youth and appearance.

#13

#14

#15

because you're trying to please everyone? Like an honor student in school. Most likely there are gouging who do not chip off, do not go anywhere and argue. But they don't care at all. Many people even love them.

#17

Guest

I don't even know. It takes a lot of effort to be hated. Maybe you are not saying something, maybe, at the same time as you are fulfilling your immediate duties, you are telling your bosses about your colleagues? Or is there some other flaw in you. After all, it is not from scratch that you are not just not loved, but hated.

#18

Guest

I don't even know It takes a lot of effort to be hated. Maybe you are not saying something, maybe, at the same time as you are fulfilling your immediate duties, you are telling your bosses about your colleagues? Or is there some other flaw in you. After all, it is not from scratch that you are not just not loved, but hated.

#19

#200005

Guest

I have a colleague who is forever on Psyche: She is a supereNTERNAL, very loud , flies into the office with his feet, opening the door, yells something through the whole office to someone, twitchy, communicates in an orderly tone, behaves, to put it mildly, strangely. there is another one, her breath stinks, and she comes so close to you, looks from under her brows into your eyes and climbs right into your face with her face. and there is also a third colleague, an aunt, who is rude when talking (she herself does not notice this, but she has such a boorish style of communication). I won't say that I or anyone else hate them, but they don't leave a very pleasant impression. maybe you are rude or behave strangely.

#21

#22

Don't even know. It takes a lot of effort to be hated. Maybe you are not saying something, maybe, at the same time as you are fulfilling your immediate duties, you are telling your bosses about your colleagues? Or is there some other flaw in you. After all, it is not from scratch that you are not just not loved, but hated.

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#23

Guest

I didn’t notice this, I only had a working relationship with my boss.

#24

Guest

Envy. February 27, 2018 They see you as a competitor, that's all.

#26

Guest

Young, slim, do you look great? Haven't thought about it? Because of this, I myself heard, by accident.

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#28

Guest

Of course they can from scratch! They hated me too! She was the youngest and most beautiful, well-groomed, and at the same time in a good position.

#29

Guest

Most likely there is an envious person who is gossiping behind his back, invents all kinds of

9000 Guest

Uh-huh...and they said - "Oh, Manka is so annoying to me, young, slender, looks great, that's suuuuuuuuuka!", right? nunu

#31

Noname

the perfect worker. Well done. they just have animal instincts. stupid herd of hyenas.

#32

Guest

Envy. February 27, 2018

#34

Guest

The author, if the team is female, then there is 100% envy. You may not be a super beauty, but there are women who will find something to get to the bottom of: you are longer and slimmer, your hair is beautiful, your lips are plump, or maybe you are just charismatic and, as a result, men are very interesting. Or you know how to dress beautifully and always look good. In general, working with women is very difficult. There are many notorious and envious among them, nerves of iron are needed.

9February 27, 2018 the fact that you don’t stand out with your mind, but you get 2 times more, walking along the corridor all day - is this not a reason for irritation? February 27, 2018 It’s a pity that I didn’t understand this right away, I also looked for the reason in myself. Thank God, I left there.

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#37

#38

Well and where is there about youth? the fact that you don’t stand out with your mind, but you get 2 times more, walking along the corridor all day - is this not a reason for irritation? February 27, 2018 so yes? nunu 9February 27, 2018 February 27, 2018

#42

coffin

You probably smell of honesty and conscience. Many people are pissed off by this. 9February 27, 2018 February 27, 2018 February 27, 2018 And how did they know about your good? Did anyone talk about your drinking husband, and you about the fact that your flowers gave you yesterday?

#46

Guest

When I read and analyzed the forum) there were no other reasons. February 27, 2018, 15:35 And how did they know about your good? Did anyone talk about your drinking husband, and you about the fact that your flowers gave you yesterday?

#48

Guest

No, just a woman shows whether she is happy or not! And when someone told me what a bad husband, I personally did not participate in the conversation, I just listened, and everyone was waiting for me to say something bad about mine too!

#49

Guest

The one that she hated and did nasty things, her husband died a few years ago. My husband always helped me, cooked often, I once said about it, plus somehow he brought me flowers to work. Well, age, I was 10 years younger than her.

#50

Guest

The one that she hated and did nasty things, her husband died a few years ago. My husband always helped me, cooked often, I once said about it, plus somehow he brought me flowers to work. Well, age, I was 10 years younger than her.

Cry of the soul: How I hate my colleagues! | Society

SAKHAPRESS And how many of us suck at work - yes, almost all of them! I hate them for it too. They look directly into the mouth of the director and the deputy, creep in front of them - ugh! I hate these guys, they're annoying!

L., a 34-year-old resident of Yakutsk, contacted the editors of the SAKHAPRESS online publication. This is what she says:

“How I hate some of my colleagues! Right sometimes you want to come up and hit them on the head with something, honestly! They are so disgusting and vile that I have to endure them very hard.

I got a job three years ago, one might say, through an acquaintance. The thing is, my aunt knows our principal. Prior to that, I had been unemployed for almost two years, tired of looking for a specialty.

Husband works in a public organization and earns a little over 30,000. We have two children, both schoolchildren. The apartment is in a mortgage, two more consumer loans. It turns out that we live on my salary. And I myself get quite well, about 60 thousand. In general, my work suits me very much financially - where can you find a job with such a good salary now ?!

Everything would be fine, but some of our employees began to irritate me terribly. Take, for example, N. - our "secretary". This 20-year-old girl herself does not hide the fact that she is sleeping with her boss and, moreover, is proud of it. And in her opinion, she considers us, as she puts it, “miserable hard workers who work hard for a penny” to be losers.

By the way, try to call this N. a secretary, after all, in her words, "assistant director." No, I don’t envy her, she just infuriates me for her tongue, she is an unbearable gossip and intriguer. He reports everything to the boss, but most importantly, he can lie. But everyone is afraid of her, because she is the boss's favorite, or rather a mistress. For now, there is only one hope - maybe he will get tired of it and he will find another, more adequate one? No one really knows how old she is, but we believe that she is deeply "post-retirement age." But everything would be fine, you never know how many pensioners are working now, but she is a very insidious woman. She is like a “gray cardinal” - she watches everyone, who said what, who works how, who chats on the phone for how long.

After all, the secretary is in the waiting room, and “Aunt Masha” is with us, and we are always in her sight. Sometimes it seems to me that she is watching me even at home, it has become so scary. By the way, it was she who made three employees fired over the past year. No, I work very well, it seems there is nothing to be afraid of, but you always feel this tension inside and her gaze from under the glasses is unbearable at times!

One of our employees, by the way, a man, infuriates me. He sits not far from me and constantly smells of him, either sweat, or smelly socks, in short, we can’t understand. How many times we hinted to him, how many deodorants and socks we gave away, it's useless! And wherever his wife looks, just horror!

And how many of us suck at work - yes, almost all of them! I hate them for it too. They look directly into the mouth of the director and the deputy, creep in front of them - ugh! I hate these guys, they're annoying!

You say - if you hate your colleagues so much, then quit, why endure? But I can't because our family needs money. Children now have a lot of things to buy - this is a fact. And there is no other work and is not expected. I won’t go as a salesman or conductor on buses with my higher education?! So you have to go to work and continue to silently hate some of your colleagues.

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