What to look for in a man when dating
40 Things that Make a Man Worth Dating
Want a checklist of what you need to look for in a guy? Not every guy makes for a good boyfriend. Here are all the things to look for before you date him.
When it comes to knowing what to look for in a guy, you need to remember that physical attraction can bring two people together, but that doesn’t always make for a healthy relationship. Here’s what to look for in a guy before you date him or get exclusive with him.
Every girl is unique. And what you expect from a guy and from a happy relationship would be very different from what your friend expects. Likewise, relationships too are just as unique, and what works for one person doesn’t always have to work for someone else.
Instead of taking suggestions from friends or asking for their opinions all the time, sometimes, the easiest way to figure out what to look for in a guy is by testing your compatibility with him, keeping your own expectations in mind.
[Read: The 33 biggest signs and qualities that make a really great boyfriend]
Compatibility and the things to look for in a guy
How do you test your compatibility with a guy? And how can you tell if he’d actually be perfect for you? A guy could seem perfect for you, your friends may love him, and you may be falling hard for him too. Does that mean he’d be perfect for you as a partner?
There are a few signs that every guy subconsciously gives away that can help you judge him and see for yourself if he’s the perfect boyfriend for you. [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility with a guy]
Compatibility isn’t precise, and it’s as unique as the two people involved in the compatibility test. What you see as a cocky guy may be interpreted as confidence by another girl, and what you’d consider as staying in touch could be seen as clingy behavior by a guy you like.
If you don’t want to get hurt in love, try to get to know more about the guy before you find yourself falling head over heels in love with him. It’ll help you make an opinion about him, and most importantly, it’ll help you test your compatibility.
[Read: How to really get to know a guy you want to date]
What about sexual compatibility – Doesn’t that count?
Of course, it does, and it does play a large part! We all have that guy in our life who makes our heart go pitter-patter.
The problem is that sometimes what the body wants – and what is good for us – are two completely different things. You need to remember that sexual compatibility is only one part of being in a successful relationship.
And yet, these days, we often put too much focus on physical attraction only and don’t really care about anything else. Does he look good in your Instagram page? Will your friends be jealous you’re dating a hottie? Will he look sexy in bed? Check? Done, dusted, and bedded!
But no, that’s not all that matters. Don’t assume just because you want to grab him every time he’s around, that he is the perfect guy for you.
The perfect combination of your best friend and a sexual attractive person
The way to know if someone is the perfect partner is to find a combination between your best friend and someone you want to sleep with. Now THAT’S what to look for in a guy. Sounds easy enough, right? But it isn’t.
If it were easy, then all relationships and marriages would last.
Sometimes, you have to listen to that inner voice, even if you don’t want to. Find those really important qualities and things to look for in a guy, that may not seem like a big deal upfront.
Remember, the man you choose for a lifetime will need to be there to support you through the big and little things in life. Make sure that he is up for the challenge and can give you what you need to make your life fulfilled.
[Read: 18 qualities of a good man that sets him apart from lesser men]
The most important things to look for in a guy before dating him
There are a few perceived flaws that are completely excusable in a guy. Then again, there are a few things that may not seem like such a big deal to begin with. But over time, they may be the same things that tear both of you away from each other, or leave you hurt and lost.
If you like a guy, or have just started to date him, keep an eye on these things to look for in a guy. And make sure that both of you are compatible on all of these things.
Even one red cross in this list, and things may just get sour over the months or years!
1. His interest in commitment
Is this guy really serious about dating you on a long term, or is he just looking for a short fling? There are a few guys who can’t stay single because they can’t handle loneliness. But at the same time, they’re terrified of exclusive relationships and serious commitment too.
If you’re dating a guy and want a relationship, make sure he isn’t afraid to commit and is genuinely interested in the relationship. Take your time to get close to him, and watch his behavior. If you don’t feel like an important part of his life, chances are, you really aren’t! [Read: 15 signs he wants something serious with you and is ready to commit]
2. His arrogance
Arrogance is subjective, but it’s still a trait that’s very easy to recognize. There’s a thin line between being overly confident in everything you do, and being cocky and arrogant about it.
If you believe the guy you like is extremely confident in a cute way, that’s good for you.
But if his behavior comes across as rude and arrogant, especially if you think he talks down to you or disrespects your opinions, he’s definitely not the guy for you. [Read: What is mansplaining? And 20 ways to spot a dick when you’re talking to one]
3. His respect for you
A great guy will respect you for the person you are. He won’t treat you like you’re nothing more than his arm candy. A guy who respects you will try hard to impress you all the time.
He’ll dress up and look good for you *because he doesn’t want to disappoint you*, he’ll try to make a good impression on your friends and family, and he’ll display his chivalrous side every time he’s with you. On the other hand, if he doesn’t respect you, he’ll expect you to take control while he’d just behave like a lazy slob around you. [Read: The 16 types of guys you should never ever date!]
4. His social life
One of the subtle things to look for in a guy is his social life. Does he have a lot of friends? Is he a loner that no one likes to hang out with? A guy who’s too lonely may not always be a good find, because he’s either antisocial, boring or rude, or too occupied with something in his life to have time for anything else.
*and that includes you!*
5. He pursues you
One of the things to look for in a guy is his eagerness to woo you and win you over. Just how eager is this guy to date you? Does he try to woo you and pursue you, or is he just taking it easy? If a guy truly likes you and is interested in making you smile and keeping you happy, he’d woo you and awe you all the time, with his gestures and by his behavior around you.
It doesn’t matter even if you asked him out first before he did. If a guy likes you, it’s in his evolutionary instincts to try and impress you. So if a guy you’re dating doesn’t try to impress you, chances are, he isn’t impressed by you and is only using you! [Read: Is he leading you on? 16 signs this guy is playing you for fun]
6. He’s not living a secret
This may seem unrealistic, but there are many guys who lead double lives. He may be dating someone else or may even be married to someone else in another area code, while dating you at the same time! *be especially wary of online dates*
Make sure the guy you’re dating isn’t building a secret relationship with you.
Does he avoid taking you to crowded restaurants? Does he appear nervous and look around often, each time both of you meet in public? If a guy has nothing to hide, he won’t have any qualms about going out with you in public, bumping into his friends when you’re around, or tagging you in his social media accounts. [Read: How to know if a guy is married or dating someone else already]
7. Emotional maturity
It’s always cute to watch a guy behave like a primate or a little boy. But when you actually try to assess a guy as a dating potential, always look for emotional maturity.
Does he get really angry or egoistic over silly things? How does he approach big decisions in life? If a guy seems immature, especially when he’s making decisions, he’s probably not the right guy for you as a long term partner. [Read: What age does a man mature? 19 signs he’s grown a real pair]
8. His focus on life
Now he doesn’t have to be a millionaire or a budding entrepreneur. But when you think about this guy, just how focused is he with the way he leads his life? Does he have any concrete plans for the future? *Not the I-know-I’ll-be-rich-in-five-years-but-I-don’t-know-how kind of plan!*
If a guy isn’t focused in life, it’s a pretty good sign that he’s a chaotic mess right now.
He may not seem like a mess when you spend time with him now, because he’s living one day at a time with no thoughts of the future. But almost always, guys who don’t have goals or aren’t focused on anything in life will end up frustrated or lost very soon! *it’ll hit him when he hits his 30s, trust us!*
9. He’s confident about himself
A guy’s confidence plays a big part in a healthy relationship. He’d feel more secure in the relationship, and he’d be less clingy, which would ensure that he isn’t a clingy boyfriend. At the same time, a confident guy would also make the girl he’s dating feel more protected in the relationship.
Take confidence out of the romance, and you’ve got a controlling boyfriend, and a scared girlfriend. And that’s not a good sign for love, is it? [Read: 15 subtle but shocking signs of a controlling boyfriend]
10. He’s a romantic
This may not matter to you right now. But at some point of time, it definitely will! *especially when another girl friend of yours starts dating a guy who’s a true romantic*
Does this guy woo you and serenade you, or does he believe that romantic gestures are fluff you see only in the movies? Date a guy only if you’re comfortable with his romantic side.
Of course, you don’t want a guy who romances you just for the ‘Gram, but you need a guy who pays attention to small gestures and the little details. [Read: Signs a man is in love – 17 gestures that are way stronger than words]
11. He listens to your opinions
if you’re wondering what to look for in a guy, look for his respect for you. When a man listens to your opinions *and even follows them*, it shows that he really respects you and believes in what you have to say. If a guy considers you an equal and an intellectual whose ideas he respects, he’ll listen to you and consider your opinion before making a decision.
On the other hand, if he thinks your ideas are not worthy of his interest, he may pretend to care what you think at the start of the relationship. But as time goes by, he may make it obvious that he doesn’t care what you say or think. And that’s never a sign of good compatibility in a relationship. [Read: How men fall in love – The 7 stages of love for guys]
12.
He’s selflessDoes this guy display little acts of selflessness every now and then when both of you start dating? Does he give you the better seat, or make sure you’re comfortable before he gets comfortable? Selflessness and unconditional love comes naturally to considerate guys.
If you have to teach a guy how to be considerate, he’s probably not worth your time because he wouldn’t see selflessness as a romantic trait. Instead, an inconsiderate guy may see it as your way of emotionally manipulating him just to see yourself happy. [Read: 22 big early warning signs of a bad boyfriend]
13. He can handle stress
When life throws you curve balls, which it undoubtedly will, you want to find someone for the long term who knows how to take lemons and make lemonade, not the opposite.
You don’t want to date a guy who’ll turn around and point fingers at you the very second life starts to get to him. If he can’t handle stress, he’ll start to deflect his own shortcomings and start blaming you for all his failures just because you’re around!
14.
He isn’t controllingYou want a guy who likes to take charge, but if he is all about controlling everything, that is going to become very old, very quickly. Control freaks never stop their ways. They like things just a certain way, and that is what they want – period.
Controlling personalities are very difficult to live with forever. This is one of the most important partner qualities, if you’re wondering what to look for in a guy. [Read: 23 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend most girls don’t notice]
15. He respects and supports your dreams
So you want to be a princess? It may not be realistic, but if it is a goal for you, then you want to find someone who is willing to support you and your decisions. Sometimes, we have to make sacrifices to get the things that we want out of life.
If you are constantly helping him foster his dreams and forgetting about your own, you are going to wake up one day feeling as if life has passed you by and resent not following your own path.
16. He isn’t a momma’s boy
Sure, you want a guy who has a good relationship with his mother. And, of course, someone who respects her. But, if you have a guy who can’t make a decision without mulling it over with mommy, that is not going to make for a happy relationship.
When you form a partnership with someone, then there are only two of you. A momma’s boy can’t ever put his wife in front of his mommy, because, well, it is his mommy. [Read: Mommy issues in men – What it is and what you need to look for]
17. He is trustworthy and honest
“I was stuck at work and my phone died,” yeah, I guess you accidentally fell on your secretary with your pants down to your ankles too. Men these days, so accident prone. Yeah, come on.
You want a man that’s going to tell you that your butt looks big in those pants or that you have a piece of spinach stuck in your teeth. Not only will this save you from walking around with spinach in your teeth, but it shows honesty.
You want someone you can trust, not someone you’re constantly questioning. Think of it like this, when his phone goes off, you want to be able not to anxiously peer over the screen to see who it is. That’s some trust goals.
18. He challenges you
The man you want to be with is someone who brings out the best in you and makes you a better person. That means that he not only makes you feel good about yourself, but he also pushes you to do things that you would not without the support he lends.
Always asking for the best from you, he knows what you are capable of and expect the best “you” possible.
19. He has respectful and normal friends
You might not think that this is what to look for in a guy. But when you are together with him, you are going to have to deal with his friends too. That means when you go out, you have to go out with them, or he is going to go out alone with them.
You don’t want him to have the type of friends who are about nothing but one night stands, cheaters, or the ones that encourage him to make bad decisions.
If you think that his friendships are not going to be important to your overall relationship, think again. They are a bigger bug in his ear than you think. [Read: How to accept your boyfriend’s friends and get them to accept you]
20. He’s driven and ambitious
Here’s something you need to remember, it doesn’t matter if the guy makes a lot of money or not. What matters is if he’s ambitious, then you’ll never be hungry. Ambition keeps people going for more.
If your man isn’t ambitious, well, you may find him playing video games every day on your couch or hanging out at the pub with his buddies, which is all fine and well, until you realize you’re not only supporting yourself but you’re supporting him as well. You ain’t no sugar mama. [Read: Avoid them like the plague: 16 types of guys not to date]
21. He’s comfortable in his own skin
You want a man secure in his own skin. When you’re around someone who’s comfortable with themselves, you learn to be comfortable with yourself.
It’s a win-win. There’s something about a man who walks with his head high that’s hot.
You know the guys from the movies, they walk into a room and everyone turns their heads. Yeah, that guy. That’s the guy you want. Throw him into an awkward situation, and he’ll have no problem handling it.
22. He is reliable
So your boyfriend said he would drive you to your job interview, but alas, he’s nowhere to be seen. Reliability is important. What if you marry this guy? What if he’s late for the birth of your child or doesn’t show up to a family dinner.
Being five minutes late is one thing, but if you start eating dinner without him on a routine basis, he doesn’t respect his time or your time. Wait, maybe he does respect his time, he just isn’t thinking about your time. What do we need ladies? Respect! When do we want it? Now! [Read: 20 characteristics of a good man that make him dependable and reliable]
23. He is passionate
You want a guy who feels a surge of energy.
What does that mean? You want a guy who has emotions and isn’t afraid to show them in an appropriate way. He has standards, beliefs, and enthusiasm for certain things in his life. A guy who doesn’t have a passion for anything is hard to be passionate with.
24. He has an opinion, but isn’t stubborn
You want someone who has an opinion. When you ask what would you like to do, the guy who says “I don’t care” over and over again is going to get old. If someone never has an opinion about anything, then they really aren’t engaged in life, or with you.
25. He wants to take the protective role
This isn’t sexist, and being protective is not controlling. The protective role means being the guy who has your back at all times. They are the one to swoop in and save you when you need them to. Always looking out for your best, he is willing to fall on the knife to protect you if that is what it takes. Of course, you should be willing to do the same for him in your own ways too.
26. He cares about your emotions
Most guys don’t value a woman’s emotions, and behave as if she’s being too dramatic. If you want to find someone who you can spend your life with through good times and bad, it is important that he is capable of dealing with your emotions.
He shouldn’t belittle them or make you feel like you are overreacting or being silly. Even if you are, you want someone who can acknowledge that and talk you down.
27. He is affectionate
You might not want a guy who wants to stick his tongue down your throat on the street, but a little affection is nice to have. Someone who will grab your hand to cross the street, can recognize when you need a hug, or will reach out to you when you need it, will be a blessing along the journey of life. [Read: 15 ways public display of affection can save your relationship]
28. He can communicate his feelings
If you can’t have a meaningful conversation about how he feels, that is never going to change.
It isn’t that you want a guy who tells you everything and creates a soap opera out of your daily life, but you should, at a minimum, be able to talk about how you feel about each other and about feelings without shutting them down.
29. He has similar interests
It may not seem like a big deal if you don’t have anything in common or any common interests now, but if you don’t have anything you like to do together besides having sex, there is no glue that binds.
When you are two very different people, you are going to have a hard time sharing your lives together. Different interests lead to growing apart over time. Just in case you didn’t know it, this is definitely what to look for in a guy.
30. Similar ideologies in life
Are you vegan? Or maybe you don’t believe in global warming? Whatever your ideologies, whether right or wrong, it’s always good to have a partner who shares a similar thought process. It may not matter today because you’re both smitten and in the honeymoon phase.
But eventually, this is something that will either bring you two closer, or make you both dislike each other over time.
31. He likes your family and friends, and they like him
When you marry someone, you marry their friends and their family. If you can’t stand being around his family now, just wait until the holidays come around every year. You will be arguing about what to do and whose house you are going to go to. [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility]
32. He’s willing to compromise
A romantic relationship is made up of at least two people. As stubborn as both of you may be, it’s important to learn to compromise for each other for the sake of the relationship.
Most guys want what they want and aren’t willing to give in. To be a couple, you have to meet somewhere in the middle – not sacrifice. You want to find someone who is willing to compromise. Oh yes, this is what to look for in a guy. [Read: Types of toxic relationships to watch out for]
33.
He cherishes youMost of all, you want to find someone who believes that you are the best thing that ever happened to him and, without you, he would be lost.
Not every guy is going to admit it, but you can tell in the way he talks about you when you aren’t there, the way he looks at you, and the way he treats you. You deserve the very best, so don’t ever settle for someone who doesn’t think you are as amazing as you are. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend]
34. He practices kindness
If you think this is a feminine trait, well, then, I guess not being an asshole is girly, who knows. Kindness is a crucial characteristic that everyone, man or woman, should have. Being kind is being empathetic.
If your man isn’t empathetic, he’s probably a psychopath. You’d find out eventually. You want a guy who brings you soup when you’re sick or has dinner ready for you after a stressful day at work. These little gestures show you he cares about you. That’s what you’re looking for at the end of the day, someone who isn’t only concerned with themselves.
[Read: How to tell if someone doesn’t have empathy and what you need to do]
35. He is motivated
This is definitely what to look for in a guy. People don’t typically change. If you think that he is going to go from the fry guy to CEO, you may be overestimating his potential.
The guy who you want to be with, is someone who is motivated. And even if he doesn’t know exactly who or what he wants to be right now, you have faith that he is intelligent enough to do whatever it is that he sets his mind to.
36. He’s generous
Okay, we’re not saying this because girls love getting gifts. And that’s not the generosity we’re talking about. Being generous doesn’t mean he showers you with gifts. Generosity can be he supports a local charity, volunteers, or shares his plate of pasta with you.
There are guys you date that don’t like to share their food, and then there are guys that have no issue with you taking a bite of their pizza. Choose the second guy, the first one has some issues that you don’t have time to deal with.
[Read: 30 deep questions to ask someone before you get in too far]
37. He can be assertive and take a stand
No one likes hearing the word “no.” But you have to admit when a guy says no—it’s hot. Other than the fact that it gets our reproductive organs turning, you want a guy who will be able to say no. You know those dogs you see that have their tails between their legs? What you think when you see that? You probably think, “aww, that poor dog, it’s so scared.” And you’re right, it is scared. Now, imagine that dog is your boyfriend. That’s even scarier.
38. He has a sense of humor
He needs to be able to laugh and be able to laugh at himself. If you don’t laugh with the guy you like, then that isn’t the guy for you. We don’t mean a fake laugh or a chuckle, we mean a from-the-stomach-eyes-watering laugh.
Men who are serious are mysterious, there’s no debate about that, but they also get boring after ten minutes. Eventually, you just want to relax and be able to enjoy yourself.
That means you need a guy who lives life with a smile and sees the bright side of things. [Read: Yawn! What to do when you are stuck with a boring friend]
39. He takes care of himself
If you’re wondering what to look for in a guy, this one is more directed to his hygiene. You don’t need a Calvin Klein model, even though we know you wouldn’t mind one. We all wouldn’t mind one. But, you need a guy that takes care of himself. Eats healthy, is physically active, you know, a guy that loves and respects his body, mind, and soul.
40. He is passionate about you
Ever had a guy push you up against the wall and start to passionately kiss you? Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. Passion, baby.
If this passion is directed towards you, that’s ideal, but you’ll also want him to be passionate in whatever activities he’s taking part in. That shows he really loves what he does and puts his heart into it. This passion also pushes you into doing what makes you feel good.
I mean, aside from him.
These things to look for in a guy before dating him may seem exhaustive. But more than anything else in your relationship, it’s these traits of a guy that’ll test your compatibility with him and predict how happy your relationship would be over the years to come!
Do you think you’re a good girlfriend? Use these guide on how to be a good girlfriend – the 27 traits that matter to judge yourself, and better yourself to become the best girlfriend ever. After all, if you want the best, you’ve got to be the best too, right?!
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What To Look For In A Guy?
Knowing what you want in a man can help you find a compatible match.
Image: Shutterstock
Knowing what to look for in a guy is against the old saying that love is blind and doesn’t bode well with practicality. But this question is more sensible in real life since reality is not so poetic.
Relationships tend to take a negative turn because people usually enter a relationship without realizing what they need in a partner. This is why dating experts suggest listing down the traits that we look for in a compatible partner. This exercise could save you the torment of a bad relationship. It will also give you more confidence and realistic expectations from your partner. Scroll down as we list a few traits that we thought could be helpful in this post.
17 Things To Look In For In A Guy
Most women fall for the good looks and the charm of a guy. However, they may not help in a fulfilling and long-lasting relationship. So, here’s what you should look for in a guy before committing yourself into the relationship.
1. He is loving
Image: iStock
Relationships are about love, affection, and appreciation. It is a no-brainer the guy in your life should care about you and make you feel loved and valued. A guy who never hesitates from telling you and others that you are special to him is definitely the right choice.
2. He is supportive
They say that behind every successful man is a woman. But what they forget to tell you is that behind every successful woman is an understanding man. It is a blessing to have a guy who celebrates your success more than anyone and encourages you to work hard and achieve your goals.
3. He loves your imperfections
All of us have our share of flaws and imperfections. If a guy wants you to act properly all the time then he is not the right choice for you. As a partner, he should accept you for who you are as a person and should respect you no matter what.
4. He is confident
Image: Shutterstock
A partner who is not sure about himself or what he wants can be draining. You will always feel alone and insecure with such a guy. However, a confident guy will never hesitate to take things forward. Moreover, he won’t shy away from accepting his mistakes and telling about yours too.
5. Has a good sense of humor
Life is a tough path with uncertainties and downfalls.
We face many ups and downs daily, and it would be great to have a partner who can make you laugh with his crisp sense of humor. One should keep a guy who can laugh at himself and make you happy all the time.
6. He is a good communicator
Communication is the key to any successful relationship. As partners, you should be able to communicate your feelings, fears, anxieties, vulnerabilities, and dreams with each other. If the guy you are in love with likes to keep his matters to himself and shows no interest in what you share with him, then it is better to bid him bye.
7. He puts you first
Relationships nourish when your partner prioritizes you over anyone. If a man truly loves you, he would always put you first. You will be the center of his actions, and he will think about your comfort and ease first. He would know about your interests and will plan things that excite you.
8. He is curious about you
A relationship can only work if both the partners are interested in each other.
The guy who loves you will always be curious to know everything about you. He would like to know about your hobbies, likes, dislikes, dreams, and aspirations. After all, it is not possible to love someone if that person doesn’t spark your curiosity.
9. He is kind
Image: iStock
The biggest mistake we make while looking out for a partner is that we don’t prioritize kindness. It is important to see if the guy is kind and compassionate. We all treat our dear ones with love and respect. But a man who respects others, especially the underprivileged, will always be polite with you.
10. He has integrity and values
You cannot trust someone who has no values and changes his stand now and then. When you make the list of things to look for in a guy, you must put integrity on the top. A man who stands for the good and never compromises on his values will never betray your trust.
11. He is positive
If you think that good looks and money are enough for a happy relationship, then think again! Having a guy with a positive outlook on life can lift your spirit whenever you feel low and lost.
He will show you the brighter side of everything and help you tide over the crises in life.
12. He is Independent
If a man cannot take care of his expenses and make his own decisions, then it is better to steer clear of him. Only an independent man will be able to value your freedom. He won’t feel insecure when you are meeting your friends, spending time with your family, or just enjoying your me-time.
13. He is passionate
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A man without passion lacks the motivation in life and will be boring. So before dating someone, make sure that he is passionate about something. He can be passionate about his work, trekking, social work, or anything. This is an important thing to look for in a guy because only a passionate man will understand and appreciate your hobbies and passions.
14. He is responsible
If you think that dating a bad guy who smokes, rides a bike, and punches people is cool, then it is high time to come out of this fallacy.
Things like this only look appealing till you are a teenager. If you want a stable relationship for yourself, then make sure that your guy is responsible and sensible. A stable guy will always show up on time and will be ready to take responsibility. He will put in deliberate efforts to keep his relationship smooth and exciting.
15. He is emotionally mature
If you are looking for a long-term relationship with a guy, knowing if he is emotionally mature is extremely important. Indeed, you don’t want to date someone who throws tantrums now and then. You can discuss anything and everything with an emotionally mature person without getting snapped. He will evaluate the situation by keeping all the aspects in mind and will solve the problems.
16. He shares common interests with you
Life can be so much fun when your partner is also interested in the things you find exciting! It doesn’t mean your guy should share your interests. But it will be great if you have some of them in common.
It can make you compatible with each other. You will do things together, and there will be less space for outsiders as you will enjoy each other’s company the most.
17. He is honest
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What can be worse than being in a relationship with a guy who manipulates things instead of being honest and upfront about them? Therefore look for an honest and straightforward guy because he will be truthful about his feelings and will make the relationship effortless.
Last but not least, understand that everyone is different. Look out for the man with the qualities you like to have in a partner. Remember, anyone with whom you feel your best self is the right one for you. If you think that you are happy when he is around, and you like to spend time with him than anyone else, you can build a good relationship together.
Key Pointers
- Being aware of certain key attributes to look for in a guy can help you decide whether he is your Mr. Right.
- If he is interested in you, accepts your imperfections, and supports all your endeavors, he could be the one for you.
- Moreover, if he is responsible, mature, and trustworthy, he may be a right match for you.
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Shikha is a writer-turned-associate editor at MomJunction. Having done a certification in Relationship Coaching, her core interest lies in writing articles that guide couples through their courtship to marriage and parenthood. She also specializes in baby names. Being a postgraduate in Human Resources from Jawaharlal Nehru Technological University, she likes understanding people and their relationships. This reflects in her relationship... more
Wayne trained as a classroom educator for the secondary level before moving to middle years. A career transition in the late 2000s took him from the classroom to working with young people as a guidance counselor and setting up a limited practice as a marriage & family therapist (Vivens Counselling). A further expansion brought his experience as a teacher and.
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35 reasons to meet
What to say to a man when you meet him so that he will surely remember you? Our writers have found the right words!
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Acquaintance
Acquaintance
We all love to lament how hard it is to meet a decent man these days. Meanwhile, meeting is half the battle. Do you know what to say to him? Do not ask how you are doing or how to get to the library... Perhaps you should find out what phrases make a crushing (in a good way, of course) impression on young people. We set this goal for the author of the VOICE experiment. The girl immediately began to search for words.
EXPERIMENTAL CONDITIONS:
Our author spent a lot of time on this investigation. We identified 6 situations for acquaintance, and selected several phrases for all of them.
With each of them, she approached at least 10 young people. On some days, Lisa managed to turn to 30-40 candidates, in total she called 350 men to account! We evaluated the success of each attempt on a 10-point scale (a score for a successful attempt - if the respondent was noticeably inspired or suggested to see each other again). It remains to thank the author for his courage and perseverance and ... go hunting!
PUBLIC TRANSPORT
LOCATION: metro, tram, bus, funicular - everything that moves according to a schedule and is packed to capacity with people.
TARGETS: young people aged 18 and over.
PASS: men who clearly demonstrate their affection for other men, homeless people, teenagers, young people talking loudly on the phone with their mother or swearing loudly, men with wedding rings.
CHALLENGES: lack of room to maneuver, especially if the action takes place during rush hour.
On the other hand, the probability of meeting exactly your type of MCH at this time increases significantly.
ATTEMPTS TO GET TO KNOW:
CLUB, RESTAURANT, CAFE
PLACE: any where bread and spectacles are offered and there is a chance to be invited to a dance or to a nearby table.
TARGET: all the lonely handsome guys at the bar or corner table with coffee and computer, and the handsome guy you just revolutionized the dance floor with.
PASS: a lonely handsome guy drinking beer at the bar too sadly. Most likely, he is very upset and has no time for dating. The same is true if he is concentrating on eating the laptop screen with his eyes, holding a mobile phone in one hand, and a cold coffee in the other. This object will not get to know you, because he is temporarily married. At work.
DIFFICULTIES: in a club it is difficult to meet a man who is ready for a long relationship (a long one is more than one night).
Restaurants and cafes are more promising in this sense, especially those located near office and business centers. It is there that attractive managers often have lunch and dinner.
ATTEMPTS TO GET TO KNOW:
STREET
LOCATION: city center, attractions, park alleys with neatly trimmed bushes.
TARGET: passers-by walking at a speed of no more than 5 km per hour, tourists with city maps, cameras and I Love Russia T-shirts, romantics with volumes of Baudelaire, social workers, agitators and promoters.
PAST: on weekday mornings half-awake young people hurrying to work or college. They are not at all up to you now.
DIFFICULT: it is difficult to stop a walking subject. Much depends on the weather, and also on how strong the stereotype is in a particular man about who should be the first to take the initiative.
.. and/or countries.
TARGET: on the train - unmarried fellow travelers. How to find out? Wait until the first phone call. Airplanes carry unmarried passengers.
PAST: if you get a story about a wife and three children or a long-awaited demobilization when you ask where he is going, reel in your fishing rods.
DIFFICULTIES: having made an acquaintance on the road, it is difficult to continue it after arrival. This must be taken into account.
ATTEMPTS:
GYM OR FITNESS CENTER
PLACE: where everyone goes for health and great shape.
TARGET: energetic coach, muscular visitors.
PASS: fanatical bodybuilders (it's hard to interest them in your body, they like their own).
DIFFICULTIES: high concentration of smart girls - which means competition.
In addition, most men do not perceive the "gym" as a place to meet.
ATTEMPTS TO MEET:
SHOP
PLACE: almost any outlet will do: from pet supplies and haberdashery to grocery supermarkets.
TARGET: is a typical bachelor: he is easily identified by the large number of semi-finished products in the cart, and in the clothing store by the unpretentiousness of the choice. The ideal option is a guy choosing food for his dog (you can cat).
PASS: young people in lingerie shops. They are there for two reasons, and both reasons suit neither you nor me.
CHALLENGES: a single male shopping shopper is rare in itself.
ATTEMPT TO GET TO KNOW:
WHAT I UNDERSTAND
- It is still easier for men to get to know each other first.
- Oddly enough, the street turned out to be the ideal place for hunting. And the best reasons are writing an article and an extra ticket to the cinema.
- MCh's affection for his pets and desire to help give you almost unlimited credit of trust if you find yourself in a pet store or men's clothing boutique.
- The sports club with an abundance of tanned muscular athletes, as I already wrote, did not live up to expectations. Acquaintance in a restaurant, bar or club seemed to me much more comfortable and&hellili; pleasant to the taste. You can both eat and chat. Good luck!
Elizaveta Chernichnaya
Photo: SAYE
Where to look for a free man? | Passion.ru
To meet with love is a difficult problem, we were warned about this in the well-known song. But no matter how difficult it is, it must be solved. Passion.ru offers to talk about where to look for a free man and how to meet for a serious relationship.
Do not search
It turns out that there are so many places for dating that it would not be enough to list them all. It's easier to say that you can meet a free man everywhere! The main thing, oddly enough,0176 do not search!
It is worth visiting different places, but it is worth getting rid of the excitement of a hunter chasing game. Girls who go somewhere just out of a desire to meet have a running line flashing on their foreheads “I'm lonely! I'm looking forward to dating!" Nothing scares men off more than this line.
Instead of going hunting, visit places with interest: not in men, but in the process itself, and men will definitely appreciate this.
However, unfortunately, it is very difficult to find places where there are exactly free men. Therefore, it is best and most likely to find out marital status in different ways already directly at the sight of the object itself, so to speak, that is, during a conversation.
How can you tell if a man is free?
Sometimes we women joke that when we want relationships and marriage, our eyes work like a metal detector, and if we really want to, we can notice the ring on our right hand even under gloves! But what if there is no ring? And experience shows that not everyone, even the most exemplary spouses, wear rings.
Our expert Maria Zamotokhina psychologist, leader of women's training at the Institute of Professional Training (Yekaterinburg) tells how to determine if a man is free:
“Free men easily stay late at meetings and parties, quickly change plans for evenings and weekends. When communicating, they like to talk about their business activities, hobbies and various events (parties, travel, fishing, and others). Thus, they emphasize their viability, read attractiveness as a partner, and freedom.
It was also noted that single men in companies more often occupy a central place in discussions, like to “keep” the dynamics of communication and joke more, thereby trying to show themselves.
If you are interested in a man, you don't have to ask him about it at all. It is enough just to watch him during the meeting. Free men usually calmly respond to phone calls and text messages, since they have no one to hide their location from.
They willingly agree to visit public places, because they are not afraid to meet acquaintances. In their stories there is “I” or “my friends and I”. And finally, almost every modern man has a page on a social network, just look through photo albums and records, and everything will become clear.
Places for dating and hint phrases
Pay attention to the fact that in most cases it is not difficult to determine whether a man is free, it is more difficult to establish contact with him and start a conversation.
We offer familiar, deftly interjected phrases-hints. They work almost always, but not everyone succeeds in using them correctly.
1. Sports events
Any sports competition always gives rise to a storm of emotions in men.
In such an emotionally unstable state, they cling to all our “hooks” more easily.
If you have even a little understanding of what is happening, then there will be no difficulties with conducting a conversation .
But even if you are just interested in the process and your knowledge in sports is limited to knowing the difference between football and hockey, then with your natural charm you can always inspire him to an interesting story about why Dynamo is better than Spartak or why “the judge is on the soap”.
On such a “holy” basis for a man, it will be very easy to continue acquaintance: a man who is emotionally involved in a conversation is unlikely to forget his interlocutor of pleasant appearance, that is, you.
Sports clubs and gyms can also be included here. Combine business with pleasure - is a great option for dating!
But despite the obvious advantage of these places - a huge number of men, pulling a man out of the company and even more so bringing him into conversation is not an easy task.
But if you still succeeded, then flirtingly asking him why his girlfriend does not support his hobby will be quite appropriate.
2. Sites, dating clubs
The easiest and perhaps the most common place to meet a single man without leaving home. Take a few minutes to create a profile on the site - and for a long time you are surrounded by the attention of men. Not always free, but in most cases it is easy to find out - the place itself obliges you to ask questions about marital status.
The best part about online dating is that you always have a choice. There will be dates, even if your joint road “to life” does not go further than a cup of coffee in a nearby cafe, but it’s nice that men are present in life! Namely, this often makes us bloom and attract with its flowering exactly those men that we need.
3. Specialized dating parties
These events are sometimes hosted by dating services or holiday agencies. They are not held often, but in big cities it is quite likely to find something similar.
It could just be "Who's..." parties where you get to know each other completely voluntarily. These can be parties where acquaintance is provided for by the program, for example, men and women are divided into pairs and talk about themselves, then they change interlocutors, all this, of course, is accompanied by music and dancing.
Random and disinterested people rarely meet at such events, because participation is sometimes paid. The format of the event itself does not make the question “Are you dating someone now?” inappropriate or stupid.
4. Hiking trips
The more the results of technological progress penetrate our lives, the more many people are drawn to nature. While researching this, we noticed that in many cities specialized groups gather, who go hiking in an organized way in order to simply spend time in nature, visit certain places, or even do some energy practices together. Often this is not even carried out on a commercial basis.
A meeting of people who don't know each other always implies some kind of organized acquaintance, so you can always include your own, for example, "your marital status" in a number of questions that are usually offered for acquaintance.
Talking one on one with a man (if the dating procedure did not bring the proper result), you can say that such trips bring the couple together very much, and you would like to try it with your man when he appears. Wouldn't he like to practice this with his girlfriend?
"You don't seem like a free man, why isn't your girlfriend with us?" In the answer, you will know exactly what you want.
5. Dance classes
Now we dare to offer you such dances as tango, bachata, salsa - that is, pair dances with a great emotional component. All of them ignite emotions inside the dancers, because it is not for nothing that tango and salsa are sometimes even called “vertical expression of horizontal desires”.
It's up to you, of course, what desires to express and what feelings to fill, but one thing is clear, men come there and often come precisely because they want to "touch" the beautiful half of humanity.
In addition, tango, salsa dancers often hold dance evenings - they get together, dance and enjoy it. New acquaintances and pleasant evenings are guaranteed.
Feel free to find out at the dance whether the man you like is free, ask: “Do you go to practice alone or with a companion?” - here the question can be regarded in two ways, in the end, you may be interested in whether a man is free as a dance partner.
“Are you not jealous of your spouse/girlfriend, knowing that you do such pair dances?”
“Why did you decide to do
6. Restaurants during business lunches
What free and not free men have in common is that they all want to eat. But the difference is that already busy men, leaving for work, are supplied with jars and bowls with carefully prepared meatballs.
Therefore, going to a place where employees of all nearby offices usually eat at lunchtime, you can meet interesting free, but hungry men.
Answer to the question “Do you often come here? Many of my friends prefer homemade food ”may somehow hint to you at the man’s marital status. Although if he likes you, then most likely he will initiate a second meeting outside the "lunch place". And if it does not initiate, then there is no need to know why.
7. Supermarkets
It has long been known that the contents of a cart in a store can reveal everything about a man, including marital status. Well, maybe worth a try? If you suddenly grab the same loaf, then who knows, maybe after some time you will also break the wedding loaf?
But seriously, in the evenings, many single men go shopping in search of provisions for the same lonely dinner. Bachelors tend to buy very little food for themselves and usually it's something easy to prepare: dumplings, convenience foods, bread and sausage for sandwiches.
Although if there are no obvious signs of marriage, such as a pack of tampons or a pack of diapers, in his basket, this, unfortunately, does not mean that the man is free.
The only way to find out is by talking.
Starting a conversation, , you can always suddenly interrupt it with a phrase like “Oh, sorry, I chatted you here, your wife or friends at the checkout probably can’t wait for you there!”
8. Clubs
Traditional meeting place, but don't ignore it. Of course, the club atmosphere is not suitable for everyone, and the audience there is very different - there can be many “buts”. One thing is obvious - this is the easiest way to make acquaintances, and many people use it. Especially, by the way, if you are interested in meeting foreigners and you live in a large city.
In clubs, you rarely get to know yourself. However, if you still had to, then ... invite him to a dance, and, left alone, hint that it would be nice to continue the acquaintance. And then - a matter of technology. His.
9. Communities of interest
A free man has more time that he can devote to himself, so, among other things, you can look for him in communities, interest clubs where they play mafia or some kind of board games.
It can also be, for example, meetings of automobile clubs, where owners of cars of the same brand are going to chat. But, truth be told, this only applies to men of a certain type. And whether this type is right for you - decide for yourself.
In such communities, communication is always easy and relaxed, because people come here to relax. Therefore, with a simple phrase, “Why do you come here alone? Friends and the girl do not share your interests? you can easily find out the marital status of a man.
10. Grandmother's grandchildren and single fathers
Psychologist Maria Zamotokhina , says: “There are men who are “couch potatoes”. Do not be surprised if one day some kind grandmother at the entrance offers you to meet her wonderful grandson. And do not refuse: the granddaughter may well turn out to be an interesting and wealthy person. Not only "nerds" have grandmothers!
There are also men who raise children alone.
Therefore, if one day a man comes into your field of vision, sorting through children's dresses and jeans with an experienced hand, turn on the beacon - dads from a full-fledged family rarely understand children's sizes!
Everything ingenious is simple!
Self-confident or prone to excitement in life, Maria Zamotokhina suggests not to beat around the bush, but directly, tactfully, ask: “... tactfully does not mean veiled and allegorical. Tactfully - it means without pressure and pressure! For example, "Sorry, this is not the easiest question for me, but ... are you free?"
Is there anything else to add? If a man is normal (read, ready for a serious relationship), he will understand you and appreciate your sincerity. And if not, then why do you need such a person? This phrase is universal and works anywhere - at a noisy party or with a casual acquaintance.
Rely on chance
The topic “where to meet” has every chance of becoming eternal.
