What kind of questions does eharmony ask

all you need to know

At eharmony, we’re all about compatibility. That’s why we get to know you better to match you better, and also why all new eharmony members take the Compatibility Quiz.

The 80 eharmony compatibility test questions– which range across your personality type, likes and dislikes, communication style and what drives you – are designed to give us a deep insight into your character. From your answers, we build your unique Personality Profile.

Why do I have to answer eharmony compatibility questions?

The Compatibility Quiz, and how we use its results, are at the heart of what makes eharmony different from other dating sites or apps. We have successfully brought over 2m couples together because we take the time to really get to know our members and what each of them needs from a relationship.  

This means we ask a lot of questions, but these give us a near complete picture of who you are and what sort of person would be your ideal match. Like anything else good in life, the chance of a lasting, loving relationship is surely worth a little time and effort.

What questions does eharmony ask?

The Compatibility Quiz covers a broad range of questions, each designed to reveal a fragment of the real you, which we then combine into the complete picture of your Personality Profile.

We ask about your attitude to relationships, and why it is you think you’re currently single. This, together with questions on the sort of boundaries you prefer, allows us to build up a picture of your attitudes to relationships. The eharmony questionnaire also explores your communication style – as this is key to the success of any relationship – and let’s us find you someone thoroughly compatible.

Some eharmony compatibility test questions are less obviously related to relationships, but help us figure out critical components of your psychology and behaviours in life situations. This question, about what you might worry about before attending a wedding, is a good example.

Other questions of the eharmony questionaire might, at first glance seem stranger still. In one example, we show you a series of paired images and ask you to choose a favourite. It might not be obvious how these choices will impact on your love life, but our quiz has been developed with the help of leading psychologists, and your answers here give us key pointers on your outlook towards life.

How many Questions do we ask in our eharmony compatibility test?

The Compatibility Quiz contains 80 questions and most people should be able to complete it in roughly 20 minutes.

Can I retake the Compatibility Quiz?

We want your Personality Profile to be as accurate as possible, and therefore always encourage new users to answer questions instinctively. In our experience, the ability to reset the eharmony questionnaire and take the quiz a second time does not usually lead to hugely different results.

But to help you complete the quiz to the best of your satisfaction, here are some tips on how to answer eharmony questions.

Tips for answering the eharmony questionnaire

  1. Take your time, but not too much
    We want your answers to be natural and instinctive – to show us the real you. And though many answers need a thoughtful approach, it’s best not to get bogged down
  2. . . . especially on the picture questions
    The questions asking you to choose between one image an another are best answered quickly. Your first answer is usually the right one
  3. Be honest!
    With any dating service, it can be tempting to put forward an airbrushed, idealised version of yourself. But (a) our questions are definitely not designed to make you look bad and, (b), this is not any dating service. Our aim is to find you a partner who, possibly, you could spend the rest of your days with and, for that, we need to see you as you really are
  4. Take a break
    Although it normally takes around 20 minutes to complete the quiz, don’t feel you have to do it all in one go. We’ll save your completed answers and you can come back and finish the quiz any time

eharmony compatibility test Questions: now get started!

The eharmony questionnaire is your first step towards finding the happy, lasting relationship you’ve always dreamed of. And more than that, it’s a unique journey of self-discovery into what kind of person you really are, how you present yourself to the outside world, and, vitally, what this says about the type of relationship you would be happiest in.

So why stay in the dark? Discover the real you today and join eharmony.


Your search for a great relationship has never been easier with groundbreaking overhaul of the eharmony you know and trust.

STart free today

Questions to ask yourself before you find real love

Whether you just got out of a long-term relationship, haven’t dated in a while, or are just starting your dating journey for the first time, it’s important to know what you want out of a relationship before starting to date. Questions to ask yourself are a beneficial guidance to dive deeper and help you find out more about this topic. No matter how hard anyone tries, the dating process can never be completely controlled. But we can control how we react and respond. By having an understanding of what we want, we’re better able to recognize the people that are right for us or why someone is not right for us.

Use this list of twenty life changing questions to understand where you are in your own life and what you want from a relationship. This will make it easier to message your matches, go on first dates and make it official with a prospective partner. There’s no secret formula to finding someone that you’ll have a meaningful connection with, but asking yourself these questions you can feel more in-control of your love life. Put the power in your hands and discover your wants and needs in a relationship. Our favorite tips to keep in mind are #1, #5 and #14. These are integral to anyone dating and can help you connect with your matches. Grab your journals or phones and get ready to learn more about yourself and your ideal relationship

#1 Why Do I Want to Start Dating?

This is the question that is the core to dating. The answer could be a host of many options, such as “I want to find a life partner,” “I want to learn more about myself,” or “I want to have some fun. ” If your answer is true to who you are, then that is the right answer.

#2 What Personality Traits Do I Want a Partner to Have?

Getting ready to start dating is not about the other person, it’s about you. Think about the most important personality traits you’d like to see in a partner. For instance, these could include humor, kindness, or warmth. When you’re on a date with someone, you can look out for the traits you’d like to see and decide if the person is right for you.

#3 How Much Time Do I Want to Spend on Dating?

If you’re looking for a long-term partner, this could take a longer period than finding someone to be a friend with benefits. While both are valid relationships, connecting with a partner requires messaging, dating, and investing emotions. It’s important to be realistic about your relationship goals and how much time, commitment, and emotional depth you’re willing to invest.

#4 What Am I Looking for in the Short-Term?

Asking yourself this question will figure out what you want from your dating life in the next few months to one year. This answer will help gauge who you want to talk to on dating apps and who you want to meet up with in-person. By messaging your matches and getting this conversation started, you can save yourself a lot of time.

#5 What Am I Looking for in the Long-Term?

Like the above tip, it’s important to determine what your long-term relationship goals are. Looking for a soulmate is a different journey than casual dating.

#6 Do I Have Any Non-Starters?

Non-starters are personality traits or habits of a potential partner that immediately end any desire to date them or even be friends. Some popular examples would be smoking cigarettes, drinking or political beliefs. One non-starter that has become increasingly common is only dating people who are in therapy and are invested in their mental health. Don’t think of non-starters as limiting. Instead, you can think of them as weeding out people who aren’t right for you. A lot of non-starters are going to be listed in a match’s preferences, so it’s easy to find them. If they are not, feel free to start a dialogue about one of your non-starters.

#7 Do I Have Any Dealbreakers?

Dating dealbreakers are also pertinent to any relationship. Dealbreakers go deeper than non-starters though. Dealbreakers are personality traits or values that could end a relationship BUT don’t stop you from dating or even getting into a relationship with someone. Maybe after six months of dating, you realize that your partner won’t introduce you to their family or doesn’t want kids. Make sure you evaluate if these are important to you. If so, it’s best to have a conversation with your partner and determine if the relationship can progress or if it needs to end.

#8 What Didn’t Work in Any Past Relationships?

Make some time each day or a timeline that works for you to journal out your thoughts around dating. This topic and the below one are great prompts to consider during your journaling. Think about any past relationships or friendships if you haven’t been in any relationships quite yet and see what aspects led to the relationship ending. Reflection can help you prevent repeating past mistakes and find a meaningful connection.

#9 What Did Work in Any Past Relationships?

And of course, it’s important to look at what worked well in past relationships or friendships! Be proud of yourself for what you bring to relationships.

#10 Do I Want to Find Someone or Am I Lonely?

This can be a hard realization. Dating and relationships should be invested in because you are interested in putting yourself out there, learning about yourself and connecting. Not because you feel alone. This can sometimes lead to finding someone else who also feels lonely, and you might not be able to build a stable relationship. Similarly, when you’re on eharmony, make sure you’re being intentional with your time. Endless scrolling won’t get you very far, so set an alarm for when to check your matches.

#11 What is My Love Language?

There are five different love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, and touch. These determine how you like to express love and receive it. There are different online quizzes you can take to find out your primary love language(s). Having this knowledge gives you the power to communicate your preferences to your partner or date, and learn about their own.

#12 What are My Strengths/Weaknesses?

Your strengths and weaknesses are core to who you are as a person. In job interviews, we’re sometimes trained to provide weaknesses that aren’t very authentic, like, “I’m too detail oriented.” When you’re exploring who you are, make sure to be honest with yourself about who you are, where you’re currently at in life. This can help with finding a partner to complement the authentic you.

#13 What Are My Future Plans?

If you’re planning on moving across the globe in the next four months, finding a long-term relationship might not be your best bet at the moment, especially if the other person wants to stay close to family and friends for the time being. Same goes with other topics like having kids, getting married, etc. Just make sure you’re honest with yourself and the other person if you feel like a relationship is progressing.

#14 Am I Content with Myself?

To be prepared to start the right relationship, you must be ready to invite the right someone into your life. And to attract someone who’s a good match, you should be content with your own life. Being confident and content in dating begins with being confident and content in ourselves. You don’t have to be “perfect” to be deserving of love and being content with yourself is a journey.

#15 What Are My Values and Beliefs?

Being able to articulate your values and beliefs helps you narrow down your matches on eharmony and start conversations in-app or IRL. Determine what kind of person you want to be in a relationship with – should they value their community like in Black dating communities, or do you want the person to have the similar religious beliefs like e. g. Christian dating to you? All your values and beliefs are valid. Just make sure to communicate them in your profile and in-person.

#16 What Do I Like About Myself?

You are the VIP of your own life, and you want to bring your best self to any relationship. Write down the things you love about yourself and use them as affirmations before dates. Then take all the things you like about yourself and ensure that these qualities aren’t diminished by anyone you’re dating or in a relationship with. You matter.

#17 Am I Missing Anything in My Life?

There are aspects of wanting to be in a relationship that don’t include being lonely, as described in Tip 10. Some things that could be missing without a partner are intimacy, security, and safety. If you find someone that makes your life better, that could be the time to start an official relationship.

#18 How Do I Want the Other Person to Make Me Feel?

You are the only person who is going to always advocate for you and your interests. Your feelings and emotions are valid, and you want to find someone that validates you and how you feel.

#19 How do I Want to Make the Other Person Feel?

Once you’re in a relationship, the dynamic between you and your partner will determine if you’re both happy and content with each other. Before committing, think about how you want to make the other person feel in the relationship.

#20 Am I Comfortable with Rejection?

Rejection and dating unfortunately go hand in hand. Not everyone you date is going to be a fit. Make sure you’re comfortable with rejection before starting to date. Not being received in the way you had hoped can make dating anxiety-provoking, and when faced with rejection, you may question yourself. But taking the risk to let people in is the recipe for real love.

Questions to ask yourself help you set your dating and relationship intentions

Dating and relationships can both be a minefield, but by setting your intentions you can gain control of your reactions. Before you go on dates, realize what you want out of your love life. By determining what you want, you can truly have fun and live in the moment. These life changing questions to ask yourself before dating can aid in a positive and healthy dating life. eharmony’s Compatibility Quiz and Personality Profile allows you to uncover what you’re looking for in a relationship and your own non-starters and dealbreakers. Take the Quiz and register for free today.


Your search for a great relationship has never been easier with groundbreaking overhaul of the eharmony you know and trust.

Start free today

Friendship with yourself. How to find harmony with the world and learn to manage emotions

Mental health and emotional stability are the key to a happy life and career success. Moreover, these two concepts determine the quality of our life. How to maintain your emotional health or, finally, find it, was told at our webinar by a psychologist, psychiatrist and psychotherapist Vladimir Kuznetsov

A person’s relationship with himself is a reflection of his previous experience. If a person is friends with himself, he will be all right under any circumstances, and if he is at enmity, internal conflicts are inevitable. nine0007

Simplifying somewhat classical psychology, we can say that our mind is divided into rational and emotional. The rational mind includes such important concepts as the inner voice, self-identification and critical thinking. As the rational mind matures, it develops a capacity for support, empathy, motivation, positive reinforcement, and imagery. The emotional mind is formed very early, by the age of three or four. He is responsible for what we are interested in, what we want or don't want, what emotions we experience. The rational mind is like the inner parent, and the emotional mind is the inner child. The relationship with oneself is just like the relationship between a child and a parent, where the child calls for action and emotions, and the parent calls for reason, trying to curb the unbridled energy of the child. nine0007

An indicator of relationship with oneself is an inner voice. It arises at an early age and is conditioned by the influence of parents and other close people. How they reacted to you in childhood is how your inner voice sounds.

Imagine that you have broken a plate. What will your inner voice tell you? And if you broke it at a party?

If the relationship with your parents was warm and understanding, the inner voice will be full of faith and understanding of your actions, it will support and reassure. But if the relationship was tense, you heard or even continue to hear criticism and accusations, then you have something to work on! After all, a child who is constantly urged, criticized and blamed enters into a depressive state or a state of rebellion - a desire to do everything in defiance. The child's response to positive behavior will be more productive. nine0007

Self-Friendship Exercise

Recall a photograph of yourself between the ages of three and seven. Consider it carefully, listen to your emotions in relation to this child. Imagine that this child is the very part that you always turn to with your inner voice. After that, the inner voice will become softer and more supportive. Always remember this child!


If you have problems with your inner voice, the first thing to do is to break the vicious circle of internal aggression. You need to ask questions to your inner voice , ask how soft, gentle and warm it sounds at the moment, whether it supports you, motivates you.

Ideally, the inner voice should become your friend, who will support you in the most difficult moments of life. Thanks to working with him, you can achieve high personal results. nine0004 A supportive inner voice shows warmth, tenderness, and sympathy, while excluding criticism, accusations, ridicule and comparison with others.

To get closer to yourself, you need to feel compassion for yourself . Do not confuse with pity! Self-pity is destructive. And sympathy is creative, it means understanding one's own and other people's feelings, the ability to recognize them.

If you listen to your emotional world, your self-esteem and friendship with yourself will grow. For example, burnout is the result of deafness to ourselves, when we do not hear ourselves, we begin to underestimate our results, devalue successes, work hard and at the same time forget to praise ourselves for completed tasks. nine0007

An important result of working with the inner voice is reduction of conflicts with loved ones. After all, the closer a person is to you, the more our voice is similar to what he says about you.

Others may also react negatively to this approach: if you get rid of internal criticism, you will be less beneficial to them. If in this situation you are accused of selfishness, consider whether you need relationships with people who do not like that you have become more attentive to your interests. nine0007

There are two types of egoism: a child, reflecting the position: “everyone owes me”, and an adult: “ only I am responsible for my words, deeds and life ”. Children's egoism becomes destructive in adulthood. But adult egoism is nothing but honesty with oneself.

If the inner voice is honest with you, life will become much easier and more pleasant.

If you want to learn more about human psychology, read our material on mental and physical health. nine0007

how to find and keep it


The question of finding harmony with yourself and your body is, perhaps, one of the main ones in the development of a person as a person. This is a difficult and confusing path that not everyone manages to go through. But what is this "inner harmony" and how to come to it? How to find that very weightless state of mental and bodily integrity? Within the framework of this article, Ksenia Kuzina will try to highlight the key aspects that each person will sooner or later have to face in the process of finding their own integrity. nine0007

I want to make a reservation right away. I am not a psychologist or a "guru". In this material, I do not distribute advice about the rules of life. But I share my own experience and personally traveled path. Perhaps this will help someone or seem interesting. So, let's begin.

No matter how trite it may sound, but everything starts with self-love . With the acceptance of your body and other individual components. Self-love, contrary to public opinion, does not at all mean “blindness” and inaction. But it means respect for yourself and your own body. Love does not turn a blind eye to shortcomings, it, first of all, accepts them and helps you make a choice: do you want to work them out, or are you comfortable with the components that you have. Self-love helps you become a better person. And, most importantly, with love and acceptance comes the realization of personal uniqueness. Awareness of one's own importance. nine0007

Listen to yourself . It is extremely important to understand your desires and listen to the signals of your body. Ask yourself more often leading questions, such as: “Am I in the right place?”, “Do I really like my field of activity?”, “Am I living by my own desires or imposed ones?” etc. This will help you determine the state of things around. Often we lose our inner core when we start living on other people's advice and dreams. An imposed education, an unloved job, whatever. All this affects us and our satisfaction. Try to fit yourself, not the environment. Listen to your inner voice and understand your desires. Yes, it's easy to talk about it, but what about "debts, bills, family, a dog ...". So, the boundaries are only in the head. There is nothing in this world that cannot be done. Start listening to your inner self, act on your own desires, and ask yourself questions more often, leading yourself on the right path. Be honest with yourself, then the debts will be paid off, and the accounts will be closed, and the family will be happier from this. nine0007

Grow . Decide for yourself where you feel "failures" and start working to eliminate them. Or find a new interesting hobby that will be useful and important for you. Personal development is an integral part of finding harmony. You are essentially filling an inner void. Devote more time to yourself, learn something new every day, learn to listen to your emotions, control your mind and feed it with useful information. But do not overload yourself with such activities. First of all, you should be driven by a sincere desire to do certain things. Look for inspiration and motivation, train your brain and body, and most importantly, enjoy the process of your development and feel the improvements. nine0007

Everything written above is, in fact, familiar to everyone. True, not everyone is ready to take these three steps to achieve that very harmony within themselves. Of course, everything is individual and there is no universal “recipe for happiness”. But things like self-love, mindfulness, and personal development will become a constant base for you in the process of finding yourself and your wholeness.

Learn more