What does distorted thinking mean


Distorted Thinking Disorder Treatment in San Diego

MENTAL HEALTH AND WELLNESS FOR VETERANS

Distorted thinking, also called cognitive distortions, is a pattern of inaccurate, damaging thoughts. Distorted thinking is a common symptom of many different mental health disorders, including both generalized and social anxiety and personality disorders. To the person thinking them, these thoughts seem logical and truthful, but in reality they are not.

Instead, distorted thinking reinforces negative emotions and beliefs, which can exacerbate feelings of low self-esteem, worsen mental health disorder symptoms and trigger self-destructive behaviors. For example, for a person suffering from social anxiety, distorted thinking patterns may reinforce their feelings of social discomfort and cause complete withdrawal from social situations. If not addressed with proper psychiatric counseling, distorted thinking patterns can increase personal distress and prevent complete, lasting recovery from mental health disorders.

Solara’s Behavioral Health and Psychiatric Treatment Center can develop a personalized treatment plan that is unique to you or your loved one’s condition. And we’re currently taking new clients.

10 Common Cognitive Distortions

In most cases, distorted thinking or cognitive distortions is typically consistent with an individual’s core beliefs.  The core beliefs that cause these negative thoughts are ones that are about themselves, others, and the world.  When negative core beliefs activate while negative automatic thoughts are evoked a negative, neutral or even positive event may influence the negative affect.  These continuous negative thoughts influence other mental health disorders such as depression.

When discovered in 1979, researchers have identified the 10 most common distorted thinking patterns, which include:

  • Mindreading:  Assuming that others are thinking negatively about oneself
  • Catastrophizing:  Making negative predictions about the future based on little or no evidence
  • All-or-Nothing-Thinking:  Viewing something as either-or, without considering the full spectrum and range of possible evaluations
  • Emotional Reasoning: Believing something to be true based on emotional responses rather than objective evidence
  • Labeling:  Classifying oneself negatively after the occurrence of an adverse event
  • Mental Filtering:  Focusing on negative information and devaluing positive information
  • Overgeneralization:  Assuming that the occurrence of one negative event means that additional bad things will happen
  • Personalization:  Assuming that one is the cause of a negative event
  • Should Statements:  Thinking that things must or should be a certain way
  • Minimizing or Disqualifying the Positive:  Ignoring or dismissing positive things that have happened

Treatment

Identifying, addressing, and correcting distorted thinking patterns is a vital part of the healing process at our distorted thinking disorder treatment in San Diego. Working with our expertly trained clinicians, clients of our psychiatric facility will become aware of distorted thinking patterns in the context of their own mental health disorder.

Psychotherapy

During individual psychotherapy, clients will learn to recognize their cognitive distortions and discover techniques for replacing those distortions with healthier, more realistic thought patterns.  One of the most common treatments for distorted thinking, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) was discovered by Aaron Beck in the 1960s and it used to develop a more positive mindset.

In other forms of therapy like group therapy, clients can practice this process, learning to disrupt distorted thoughts in an environment that is safe, supportive, and understanding, thereby building a strong foundation for long-term recovery.

To learn more about distorted thinking or about other mental health disorders and symptoms treated at Solara Mental Health, please contact us.

Solara’s Distorted Thinking Disorder Treatment for Veterans

Also known as cognitive distortions, distorted thinking disorder is a pattern of inaccurate, damaging thoughts. Many mental health disorders, including generalized anxiety, social anxiety, and personality disorders, are associated with distorted thinking. Solara Mental Health in San Diego is focused on giving veterans a supportive and safe environment to recover.

Solara Mental Health is VA contracted as a community care provider, which gives us the unique opportunity to help veterans with their process of healing. Once authorized, housing, transportation, and accommodations will be provided.

What Our Clients Say

Michelle Family

I want to thank you and the entire staff and support system at Solara for taking such good care of my sister. On behalf of my entire family, we want you all to understand that your patience and kindness stretches further than you can see… Thank you, again and again, from the bottom of my heart.

Terri

The Solara Treatment Program was a life-changing experience for me. To be able to heal in such a beautiful, peaceful environment, with such a terrific treatment team, was so amazingly positive. I have found my true self, again. I thank you and my family thanks you for helping me become the person I was meant to be.

Lauren

The Solara program is truly amazing. I’ve never had more clarity or more good energy in my entire life. The attention the physicians and the therapists gave me was outstanding. I feel like they truly understood and addressed my issues, which had consumed my life for years. Thank you all.

Dad

We are so grateful to you for the treatment and care you provided our daughter. She is doing unbelievably well now thanks to your program. We will gladly tell anyone we encounter that needs treatment about the wonderful work you do at Solara.

Bill

The program has given me the tools I needed to really gain stability. For the first time in years - maybe for as long as I can remember, actually, I’m learning how to cope and manage my stressors and triggers. I now believe that I can find some relief and happiness.

Husband

Solara was truly a life-changing experience for me and for our children, because of what you did for my wife! The treatment team was phenomenally supportive and perfect for helping her with her anxiety and depression. We are all now moving forward to put our lives back together and it started with you all in Pacific Beach. Thank you for what you do.

Bradley

The therapists and counselors and really whole team were extremely beneficial to me and my understanding of my issues. The treatment plan they developed was exactly what I needed

Alex

I have never felt better than I do now, since completing your program. The truly caring and supportive staff and the intensive program changed my life. What a neat place to stay for treatment - I love Pacific Beach! I have learned skills and behavior to move forward with my life thanks to you.

Watson Family

Solara’s program was such a positive experience for our mom (and for us)! She had become almost impossible to deal with. Your entire staff was phenomenally supportive and kind and patient with her. We feel like we’ve got our mom back, now.

Lynn

Even though I’m not religious, I realized when I got sober that for the first time in my life I wanted to explore my spiritual side. I benefited hugely from the individual spiritual sessions that I had with Chris. I’m really grateful for that aspect of the whole treatment experience.

R.M. – Father

If not for Solara Mental Health, I am almost positive that our daughter would not be as advanced in her treatment, and would not have the almost miraculous confident and positive outlook that she has.

M.P. – Father

Your program provided our daughter with the most masterful therapist we have ever encountered (and we have used many).  She has had an unbelievable ability to see the long-term trajectory of our daughter’s treatment and to approach her treatment in stages that fit where my daughter’s development was.  We can’t say enough positive about her.

10 Examples of Distorted Thinking

Cognitive distortions involve negative thinking patterns that aren’t based on fact or reality. You can help change these thinking patterns to promote your mental well-being.

I have the worst luck in the entire world.

I just failed that math test. I’m no good at school and might as well quit.

“She’s late. It’s raining. She has hydroplaned, and her car is upside down in a ditch.

These are all prime examples of cognitive distortions: thought patterns that cause people to view reality in inaccurate — usually negative — ways.

In short, they’re habitual errors in thinking. When experiencing a cognitive distortion, the way you interpret events is usually negatively biased.

Most people experience cognitive distortions from time to time. But if they’re reinforced often enough, they can increase anxiety, deepen depression, cause relationship difficulties, and lead to other complications.

Learn more about cognitive distortions, including their connections to mental health, the types, and what you can do to help change your thought patterns.

Cognitive distortions are types of thinking patterns that emphasize negative biases. Mental health professionals first described them in the late 1970s and early 1980s.

Research from 2017 suggests that people may develop cognitive distortions to cope with adverse life events. The more prolonged and severe those adverse events are, the more likely it is that one or more cognitive distortions will form. Human beings might even have developed cognitive distortions as an evolutionary survival method.

In other words, experiencing stress could cause you to adapt your thinking in useful ways for immediate survival. But these thoughts often aren’t rational or healthy long-term.

Research suggests that cognitive distortions may occur in numerous mental health conditions. These include depression, dysphoria, and anxiety disorders.

However, cognitive distortions aren’t considered a mental illness on their own. In the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), cognitive distortion is not listed as a mental health condition.

Experiencing occasional cognitive distortions is natural. However, experiencing them regularly could be a reason to see a mental health professional for help.

In the 1960s and 1970s, psychiatrist Aaron Beck pioneered research on cognitive distortions in his development of a treatment method known as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

CBT is a type of psychotherapy mental health professionals use to teach clients how to overcome individual reactions (whether emotional, physiological, or behavioral) to a given situation, which may influence their interpretations of the actual situation itself. Today, CBT is still considered a key method to help individuals transform distorted thinking.

Since then, researchers have identified at least 10 common distorted thinking patterns, which are listed below:

Sometimes called “all-or-nothing” or “black-and-white thinking,” this distortion occurs when people habitually think in extremes without considering all the possible facts in a given situation.

When you’re convinced that you’re either destined for success or doomed to failure, that the people in your life are either angelic or evil, you’re probably engaging in polarized thinking.

This kind of distortion is unrealistic and often unhelpful because reality often exists between the two extremes.

When people overgeneralize, they reach a conclusion about one event and then incorrectly apply that conclusion across the board. In other words, you might assume that one negative event means every subsequent event thereafter will be negative too.

For example, you score low on one math test and conclude that you’re hopeless at math in general. You may have a negative experience in one relationship and then believe that you just aren’t good at relationships.

Overgeneralization has been associated with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and other anxiety disorders.

This distorted thinking leads people to dread or assume the worst when faced with the unknown — despite a lack of evidence supporting such predictions. When people catastrophize, ordinary worries can quickly escalate.

For instance, an expected check doesn’t arrive in the mail. A person who catastrophizes may begin to fear it will never arrive and that, as a consequence, it won’t be possible to pay rent, and the whole family will be evicted.

It’s easy to dismiss catastrophizing as a “hysterical” overreaction. Still, people who have developed this cognitive distortion may have experienced repeated adverse events — like chronic pain or childhood trauma — so often that they fear the worst in many situations.

One of the most common errors in thinking is taking things personally when they’re not connected to or caused by you at all.

You may be engaging in personalization when you blame yourself for circumstances that aren’t your fault, or are beyond your control.

Another example is when you incorrectly assume that you’ve been intentionally excluded or targeted.

Personalization has been associated with heightened anxiety and depression.

When people assume they know what others are thinking, they’re resorting to mind reading. With this cognitive delusion, you may also assume that others are thinking negative thoughts about you.

It can be hard to distinguish between mind reading and empathy — the ability to perceive and understand what others may be feeling.

To tell the difference between the two, it might be helpful to consider all the evidence, not just the evidence that confirms your suspicions or beliefs.

At least one study found that mind reading is more common among children than adolescents or adults and is associated with anxiety.

This distorted thought pattern involves the tendency to ignore positives and focus exclusively on negatives. This is known as mental filtering.

Interpreting circumstances using a negative mental filter is inaccurate and can also worsen anxiety and depression symptoms.

Researchers have found that having a negative perspective of yourself and your future can cause feelings of hopelessness. These thoughts may become extreme enough to trigger suicidal thoughts.

Like mental filters, discounting the positive involves a negative bias in thinking. As the name suggests, discounting the positive essentially means that you either dismiss or ignore positive events.

People who tend to discount the positive don’t ignore or overlook something positive. Instead, they explain it away as a fluke or sheer luck.

Instead of acknowledging that a good outcome results from skill, smart choices, or determination, they assume that good results must be an accident or anomaly.

When people believe they have no control over their circumstances, it can reduce motivation and cultivate a sense of “learned helplessness.”

When people find themselves thinking in terms of what “should” and “ought” to be said or done, it’s possible that a cognitive distortion is at work.

It’s rarely helpful to chastise yourself with what you “should” be able to do in a given situation. “Should” and “ought” statements are often used by the thinker to take on a negative view of their life.

These types of thoughts are often rooted in internalized family or cultural expectations that might not be appropriate for an individual.

Such thoughts can diminish your self-esteem and raise anxiety levels.

Emotional reasoning refers to the false belief that your emotions are the truth — and that the way you feel about a situation is a reliable indicator of reality.

While it’s important to listen to, validate, and express emotion, it’s equally important to judge reality based on rational evidence.

Researchers have found that emotional reasoning is a common cognitive distortion. It’s a pattern of thinking used by people with and without anxiety or depression.

Labeling is a cognitive distortion in which people classify themselves in a negative way following an undesirable event. For example, they might reduce themselves or other people to a single — usually negative — characteristic or descriptor, such as a “failure.”

When people label, they define themselves and others based on a single event or behavior.

Labeling can cause people to berate themselves. It can also cause the thinker to misunderstand or underestimate others.

This misperception can cause problems between people.

The good news is that cognitive distortions can be corrected over time.

Here are some steps you can take if you want to change thought patterns that may not be helpful:

Identify the troublesome thought

When you realize a thought is causing anxiety or dampening your mood, a good first step is to figure out what kind of distorted thinking is taking place.

To better understand how your thoughts affect your emotions and behavior, you may want to consider reading “Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy” by clinical psychologist Dr. David Burns. This book is considered by many to be the definitive work on this subject.

Try reframing the situation

Look for shades of gray, alternative explanations, objective evidence, and positive interpretations to expand your thinking.

You might find it helpful to write down your original thought, followed by three or four alternative interpretations.

Perform a cost-benefit analysis

People usually repeat behaviors that deliver some benefit.

You might find it helpful to analyze how your thought patterns have helped you cope in the past. Do they give you a sense of control in situations where you feel powerless? Do they allow you to avoid taking responsibility or taking necessary risks?

You can also ask yourself what engaging in cognitive distortion costs you. Weighing the pros and cons of your thought patterns could motivate you to change them.

Consider cognitive behavioral therapy

CBT is a widely recognized form of talk therapy in which people learn to identify, interrupt, and change unhealthy thinking patterns.

If you’d like some guidance in identifying and changing distorted thinking, you might find this type of therapy useful.

CBT usually focuses on specific goals. It generally takes place for a predetermined number of sessions and may take a few weeks to a few months to see results.

Look for a therapist who’s properly certified and licensed in the state where you live. Your therapist should be trained in CBT.

Cognitive distortions are habitual ways of thinking that are often inaccurate and negatively biased.

Cognitive distortions usually develop over time in response to adverse events. Researchers have identified at least 10 common distorted thinking patterns.

If you’re ready to tackle a cognitive distortion, you may want to try some of the methods found in cognitive behavioral therapy. This type of therapy has been successful in helping people identify cognitive distortions and retrain themselves to look at the world in a clearer, more rational way.

What is distorted thinking?. Deadly emotions

What is distorted thinking?. Deadly emotions

WikiReading

Deadly Emotions
Colbert Don

Contents

What is distorted thinking?

The character of the famous comic book series of the forties - the opossum Pogo - gained popularity because he very accurately conveyed the traits of a human character. Once he wisely remarked: “We meet the enemy - and this enemy is ourselves!”

Unfortunately, all too often we really treat ourselves like enemies: we fill our minds with ideas and beliefs that cause us great harm. In psychology and psychiatry there is a term "psychological reversion". It denotes the process of turning instincts, motives and subconscious attitudes into opposite ones in sign. For example, a patient declares and even thinks that he wants to get well, but deep down he does not want this at all and subconsciously resists treatment. Psychotherapists have long known that many patients (up to 40%) sabotage recovery. They avoid therapy in various, sometimes quite ingenious ways. They quite honestly forget to take prescribed medications. They refuse them because of the unpleasant taste. It happens that they convince the doctor that the drugs do not help, although objectively their condition is improving. These patients can stop the started course just when it starts to bring results. The reasons for such sabotage are varied, but the most common for me was this:

Belief “I am my disease”

Some people have been ill for so long (for example, since childhood) that their whole personality is formed around the ailment, and they strongly associate their unique “I” with it. Most likely, Milt and Agnes were just such personalities. For such people, disease becomes a way and way of life. Milt was hardly aware of himself apart from the emphysema - he was not just Milt, but Emphysema Milt. Such people perceive themselves not as normal people who have fallen ill, but as sick people who, in some vague, distant future, should turn into normal ones.

Sometimes an illness becomes a way to avoid a hateful job, a routine life, or painful relationships. If you ask a “disease person” how he has fun and enjoys life, then the answer will be a bewildered look. In life, he has nothing but illness - no hobbies, no aspirations. And the entertainment is the discussion of their own ailments.

If you hear someone talking about an illness: “my arthritis”, “my migraine”, “my multiple sclerosis”, know that this person has become so fused with his illness that he no longer thinks of himself as separate from it.

Most people who choose to be infirm show it in their attitude to work as well. In other words, they avoid work. Yes, there are real disabled people who are really unable to work physically or mentally. But there are many people in the world who, consciously or unconsciously, are convinced that since they are sick, the state or charitable organizations are obliged to provide them in every possible way. Sickness or disability benefits are for them a legitimate wage or some kind of reward for sickness. They take full advantage of benefits that are often not necessary for them - for example, discounted trips, free tickets, extraordinary services. People who receive extra care, benefits, entertainment, or respect because of illness rarely seek recovery.

Recently a woman from Mexico came to me for a consultation. She was filled with destructive emotions. With her, this patient brought a whole bag of vitamins and supplements that she was taking. The woman was beside herself - she was terribly angry at the taxi driver who brought her from the airport. When she began to explain to him at length why she had to come to the States, he said: "I think, ma'am, that you just don't want to get well, that's all." I thought the taxi driver hit the bull's-eye.

For a whole week I helped this patient to identify and change false attitudes, which she was simply stuffed with. Leaving home, she admitted that she felt better. I hope this improvement continues.

IV. Thinking

IV. Thinking If from perceptions in one direction, upwards, so to speak, an abstract idea develops, then in the other direction - in breadth and depth - there is a development of thinking and reflection based on them. What is it - thinking, i. e., ordered and coherent thinking?

4.3. Thinking

4.3. Thinking Thinking, logical knowledge is an indirect reflection. It is mediated, firstly, by sensory knowledge. Thinking arises on the basis of sensory knowledge, sensory images. Secondly, it is mediated by language; as already mentioned, thinking is necessary

8. ORGANIC THINKING

8. ORGANIC THINKING From this follows the third distinctive feature of Indo-Aryan thinking, already mentioned in passing above: this thinking is highly organic. In contrast to our philosophy, created by the efforts of individual scientists, which arose little by little,

Thinking

Thinking Thinking is the process of solving problems, which is expressed in the transition from the conditions that set the problem to obtaining the result. Thinking involves active constructive activity in restructuring the initial data, their division, synthesis and

15 Thinking

fifteen Thinking The world thinks us, but when we think it... In essence, thinking is dual, it is not at all the thinking of an isolated subject, it is distributed between us and the world: we can think the universe only because we ourselves are subjected to

in a certain way.

§ 3. Metaphysical thinking as thinking in ultimate concepts, embracing the whole and capturing existence

§ 3. Metaphysical thinking as thinking in limiting concepts, embracing the whole and capturing existence We remain under preliminary review. It is intended to lead us to the task of the course and at the same time to clarify its integral setting. Contrary to

POETIC THINKING

POETIC THINKING POETIC THINKING is a concept, the content of which fixes the way (style, type) of thinking, based on the presumption of fundamental understatement (incompleteness) and metaphor. In terms of content, P.M. involves a radical rejection of hard

III. Thinking

III. Thinking § 163Thinking is the activity of the spirit in its independent, self-equal simplicity, spontaneously introducing into itself determinations that have the character of equality to themselves and the character of universality. Reason § 164 Reason is the faculty of thought

DISTORTED SENSE OF TIME

DISTORTED SENSE OF TIME Hermes men have a rather strange sense of time. Many of them live in the present and a little in the future, while the past does not seem to exist for them. All they need to do is here and now. Peter Pan doesn't sense time either. After returning

b) Thinking

b) Thinking Great minds countered this view with a feeling in the human chest, the instinct of self-preservation, benevolent inclinations towards other people, an attraction to sociability; Puffendorf also put the latter at the foundation of his system of law. Based on

1. WHAT IS MATTER? WHAT IS EXPERIENCE?

1. WHAT IS MATTER? WHAT IS EXPERIENCE? The first of these questions is constantly pestered by idealists, agnostics, including the Machians, to materialists; with the second - materialists to Machists. Let's try to figure out what's the matter here. Avenarius says on the question of matter: "Inside

B. Thinking

B. Thinking 8. Thinking as a higher experience in experience Within the incoherent chaos of experience, we find - and at first also as a fact of experience - an element that leads us out of this incoherence. This is thinking. Thinking, even as a fact of experience, occupies

5. Thinking as knowledge

5. Thinking as knowledge Thinking is the cognitive activity of the subject, but nothing can be understood in thinking if we first consider it as a purely subjective activity and then correlate it with being for the second time; nothing can be understood in thinking, if not

Distorted perception

Distorted Perception People with learned helplessness quickly give up. They are convinced that the black streak in life will never end. For them, if it’s bad, then it’s always without good, and if something happens, it’s exclusively from bad to worse. Future for them

Chapter 17 Distorted social space. Social Simulation

Chapter 17 Distorted social space. social modeling Human self-consciousness has made a person a stranger in this world, has given rise to a feeling of loneliness and fear. Erich Fromm Our wonderful thinker Arkady Davidovich owns the following words: -

Chapter 24 Tolerance, love, family and family relations. Distorted Social Space

Chapter 24 Tolerance, love, family and family relationships. Distorted social space Unrequited love is as different from mutual love as error is from truth. George Sand “Doubt must be wholly directed towards achieving certainty by brushing aside

Types of distorted thinking

I am reading Pavel Fedorenko's book "Psychotherapy of Anxiety-Phobic Disorders" and there is a wonderful chapter about distorted thinking. It is about the fact that we all think in different categories, and this poisons us. I can't help but review.

Filtration

Concentration only on the negative, disturbing, offensive and irritating aspects of the situation, crowding out its positive aspects and discarding the previous positive experience.

For example: “He always behaves horribly”, “I would like her if it wasn’t for her smelly perfume”, “I am surrounded by bad people”.

What to do? Switch attention to the positive aspects of the situation and to finding ways to solve the problem, look at events from different points of view.

Key words: "bad", "terrible", "scary", "disgusting", "unbearable".

Polarization

Black and white vision of the world, in which all things and phenomena are good or bad, beautiful or terrible, in which there is no room for compromises and halftones, because there are only extremes.

For example: “I must look perfect, or it will be a shame”, “Either I will become a successful person, or I will be a failure all my life”, “I must not make mistakes, otherwise I will become a laughingstock.

What to do? Stop rushing to extremes when evaluating situations, evaluate events in percentage terms, gradually reduce the level of your maximalism and perfectionism.

Key words: “either..., or...”, “either... or...”, “all or nothing”.

Overgeneralization

Unjustified generalizing conclusions due to a single negative incident with subsequent negative labels attached to all events and phenomena.

For example: “I never succeed”, “No one needs me”, “All fat people are assholes”, “All rich people are thieves”.

What to do? Start from real facts and concrete evidence, replace negative definitions with neutral ones.

Keywords: "everything", "everything", "no one", "nothing", "never", "always".

Mind reading

The belief that one knows the thoughts and feelings of other people. Or the certainty that other people should know what's on a person's mind.

For example: “I already know what you are thinking”, “She only wants money from me”, “They must understand that I feel bad.

What to do? To understand the impossibility of knowing exactly what other people think and feel, to confirm their suspicions with real facts.

Keywords: "I know", "he thinks", "she thinks", "he should know", "they should understand".

Catastrophic

Constant expectation of the worst and worst scenarios.

For example: “What if my plane crashes?”, “What if bandits attack me?”, “What if I get sick and can’t work?”

What to do? Stop making a big deal out of molehills, assess the likelihood of this or that event, and critically analyze your thoughts.

Key words: “what if...”, “what if...”, “catastrophe”, “nightmare”.

Exaggeration

Exaggeration of the significance of problems, scaling up the difficulties and minimizing the positive aspects.

For example: “It’s unbearable to stand in line for an hour!”, “I can’t survive rejection!”, “It’s terrible that I’m late!”

What to do? Stop exaggerating the size of difficulties and learn to see their real scale.

Key words: "terrible", "intolerable", "huge", "exorbitant".

Personalization

Confidence that the words and actions of other people are their direct reaction to the person. Taking responsibility for other people's feelings.

For example: “They laugh and look at me, it means something is wrong with me”, “I made them angry”, “I ruined everything”.

What to do? Find evidence for your assumptions, look at a particular situation through the eyes of an independent observer.

Key words: "I", "me", "me", "me", "about me".

Comparison

Comparing yourself to other people in order to show your superiority, which leads to frustration.

For example: "I'm not as lucky as he is", "She's a much better problem solver than I am", "I can't be as successful as Elon Musk".

What to do? Refuse comparisons, which are the source of unstable self-esteem, to understand that all people have strengths and weaknesses.

Keywords: "better", "worse", "successful", "stronger", "worthy".

Duties

Unreasonably high demands on oneself, other people and the world as a whole, deviation from which is unacceptable.

For example: “I must be a good friend”, “I must not experience suffering”, “People must approve of me”, “Today there should not be bad weather”, “Everything should be as I want”.

What to do? Allow for the possibility of mistakes, recognize the uniqueness of other people, replace shoulds with wishes, that is, alternative healthy thoughts and reasonable preferences like “I would like ..., but this does not mean at all ...”, “I want ..., but this does not guarantee...”.

Key words: “should”, “must”, “should”, “necessary”.

Devaluation

Denying the importance of ongoing events by "smoothing out" one's shortcomings, self-deception and self-justification.

For example: “My girlfriend left me, so it should be like this”, “This does not concern me!”, “Who cares?”

What to do? Recognize the true significance of events and realistically assess their individual qualities.


Learn more