Vyvanse for aspergers


Lisdexamfetamine User Reviews for Asperger Syndrome

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Brand names: Vyvanse

Lisdexamfetamine has an average rating of 7.6 out of 10 from a total of 7 reviews for the off-label treatment of Asperger Syndrome. 57% of reviewers reported a positive experience, while 14% reported a negative experience.

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7.6/10 average rating

7 ratings from 8 user reviews.

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Short:

Was diagnosed with "high functioning" autism and put on Vyvanse. Meds work great except I can't dissociate any more and now have massive sensory overload and no coping skills. Also wondering if it is the vyvanse directly causing the overload (though GP said unlikely). Help? __"

Very Long:

Heads up for mentions of metal health problems and trauma. I added subheadings so you can skip sections or find detail as desired.

  1. Current Situation

  2. The Problem

  3. The Questions Appendix A - further detail on dissociation Appendix B - further detail on life history

  4. CURRENT SITUATION I am a 27yo person diagnosed with "high functioning Aspergers"/ASD with ADHD tendencies earlier this year. I saw the psychiatrist as a last resort because nothing was working for my mental health symptoms and I just went in with "I don't care what's wrong with me, just give me the meds that will fix it." I was surprised/suspicious at first having had a narrow preconceived idea of what autism is and having convinced myself I had an unusual form of Anxiety/PTSD. In hindsight the ASD diagnosis shouldn't have been a surprise given that I was flagged for it in primary school, again in early uni, and again last year when my regular psychologist asked if I'd considered it. Having done a lot of reading in the last 3 months, I regret not pursuing it earlier as it explains a lot ("atypical panic attacks" and "episodes" or... meltdowns?). Anyway, I digress.

The psychiatrist prescribed 30mg vyvanse which was bumped up to 40mg after a month as I was crashing too early in the evening. It works a charm. Took some wrangling to direct my focus efficiently etc. but I feel like I am experiencing life properly for the first time in years. I can connect with my partner/friends and have meaningful conversations that I remember later. I am enjoying my hobbies and interests again. I am experiencing emotions like joy and excitement after years of drifting between vague nothingness and depression. I can keep on top of organising work/uni/housework without having to spend half a day in bed after getting through my 3 shifts. Even my joint hypermobility pain has improved because no fatigue means I'm using muscles rather than locking and leaning on joints. My partner and family have said I seem more like myself than I have in a long while and that I seem happy and confident. It is like I have woken up after a decade or more of being a half person.

2. THE PROBLEM Since taking Vyvanse I've been feeling "more autistic" i.e. less able to cope socially, sensory issues, more obsessive about my habits and routines. My regular, excellent GP thought it was unlikely that Vyvanse was causing this change and it is more likely that I've essentially deleted a coping mechanism. Vyvanse keeps me extremely tethered to reality. I can barely daydream on purpose anymore. Dissociation/derealisation has been a core (not healthy) coping mechanism for years - see section below for details. This is great for my memory and functionality but not so much for my emotional and sensory regulation.

Now when I go out, the lights are too much, the noise is too much and I don't know how the hell I ever talked to people. I work in a store with fluorescent lights, radio and TVs blaring ads on repeat and it used to annoy me a bit but now after about 3 hours of my shift I feel like I'm on a hair trigger. I have a reputation for remaining chill that's about to go out of the window. Even talking to people I'm comfortable with is a trial with eye contact feeling super intense and me being hyper aware of my own voice/face/hands. I have a elderly cat who sometimes misses the litter tray but we have a cleaning protocol so it was no big deal. The other day I walked in to the apartment, smelled cat pee and burst into tears. I was so overwhelmed I had to go and sit on the other side of the apartment for an hour with a soap bar to smell before I could chill out enough to even find the source of the smell, then cried on and off the rest of the night.

Previously I could brush off the urge to fidget with no effort. I still picked my nails, tapped fingers, talked to myself quietly but I could stop if necessary and they're all easy to hide. Now I feel like everything I got scolded for as a kid has come back with a vengeance. The big ones are shaking my head repeatedly, contorting/hyperextending my fingers, tilting my head back suddenly, rocking forward on my toes and noises (hissing through teeth, clicking tongue, huffing and popping lips). I've been trying to do it when I'm in an empty section or in the bathroom but I'm so self conscious that people I've worked with for years will think I've suddenly decided to put all this on. Also some people seem to find these behaviours distressing.

Overall I think the Vyvanse is having such a positive effect that I don't want to stop it, but I'm worried this side of it is reducing other aspects of my functioning.

3. THE QUESTIONS

Anyone have any experience similar to mine?

With vyvanse specifically or just having to learn to cope without checking out?

Has anyone found that the positives of a medication were outweighed by reduction in functioning?

Should I just focus on figuring out my limits and trying new stuff like the noise reducing earplugs and stuff?

I know there are a lot of resources out there for ASD adults but it's so overwhelming and I don't even know what my problem is, never mind where to start. ..

Any advice, relatable comments or anything at all would be much appreciated.

APPENDIX A: DISSOCIATION/DEREALISATION My current psychologist has discussed this behaviour with me using both the terms "dissociation and derealisation" but tbh I'm not sure on the differences of which one I do.

Early in life, I learnt to "check out" as a coping mechanism. It was made clear to me that screaming/crying/refusing to speak/biting my arm/hiding were all punishable behaviours. So when I wanted to do those or if something shitty was happening (see tragic origin story section below), I would slide my eyes over to one side until they hurt and go into daydream mode. I got so good at it that I could take in what was being said to me and respond accordingly whilst being on a different planet. In my head, it was more like I was actually the fictional character in the magic world and whatever was happening in real life was a simulation running in the background or something. As a bonus, I essentially had a large database of worlds, characters and items in my head at all times so I was great at English and creative writing at school and was excited when I got praised for it. It always caught up to me eventually and after a while something insignificant would happen like a sibling using my notepad for crayon drawing and I would have a tantrum (meltdown?).

I have pretty much never stopped doing this for about 20 years. As an adult with more complex responsibilities, it became less about being in a whole other world and more like slipping into a space adjacent to this one: I would just feel like I was floating through life and even stuff I knew should upset/frighten me kind of barely scratched the surface. I totally lost control over it as well - I didn't have to slide my eyes over any more because it would just happen as soon as anything mildly triggering occurred e.g. a raised voice, bright lights, loud noises, food/fabric textures, someone touching me unexpectedly, someone "acting angry" near me, ad infinitum. After bad things happened like the passing of a pet, I would be checked out for months at a time and have little recollection of anything that had happened. This was vaguely scary but I was too distanced to even work up any emotions about it except when I was having an episode. Speaking of, after extended checking out I would inevitably have what we called "episodes", where I would get super depressed to the point I felt I hadn't made any progress in a decade or I would get anxious to the point that I couldn't leave the house and my grip on reality started to feel tenuous because I'd start seeing/hearing bugs in my peripheral or feel like things were crawling on me. Fun stuff.

APPENDIX B : TRAGIC BACKSTORY

  • Mildly traumatic childhood featuring parental conflict/divorce, consistent severe emotional abuse/dependence/control until age 20 and a brief sprinkling of grooming by a paedophile around age 8

  • Often scolded/criticised for: baby voice/monotone, standing weird, sitting weird, raptor arms, not listening i.e. not looking at person talking, being a crybaby/immature (but also being told I was mature for my age), fidgeting, tantrums I was too old for, being painfully shy, reading and ignoring people, being scruffy/dirty, being clumsy, being untidy/messy, daydreaming, being rude/direct/a know-it-all with adults

  • Learnt from a young age to: pretend to be normal, be quiet and agree with people, manipulate situations so that someone else was the target of bullying and not me; read when people are angry; memorise whole set of rules of social engagements

  • Grew up in small primary school and small selective high school, straight A student thriving on routine, structure and enormous fear of failure

  • Hospitalised as a young teen for mystery illness followed by many months of scarred legs and severe chronic fatigue (ie requiring a nap after showering levels)

  • Moved internationally with parent whilst still recovering, did not cope with change, started failing subjects at school, became severely anxious and depressed with self harm and suicidal tendency, became underweight due to obsessive food habits e. g. eating extremely neatly or with food shredded to tiny pieces, refusing to eat in public/with unfamiliar people.

  • Had dramatic mental breakdown in first year of uni, crashed car, was taken to parent's psychologist

  • Finally moved out of home, got job, met supportive partner and adopted cats that have saved my life more than once. Sought out my own help, went on SSRIs which weren't ideal but scraped me through whilst I unlearnt self hatred and negative thought patterns.

  • Sought help for physical health issues and making slow progress. Continued with therapy and reached a point where depression/anxiety/ptsd were low level and manageable but stalled in progress with being spacey and emotionally unstable > referred to psychiatrist > ASD diagnosis > current situation.

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