Types of introverts quiz

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Extroverts and introverts: how to understand?

Can ice and fire get along together? What about extrovert and introvert? And who are they anyway?

The terms "extrovert" and "introvert" in psychology describe two different types of personality. These terms first appeared in C. G. Jung's Psychological Types (1921).

Psychologist Ekaterina Burmistrova talks in detail about the differences between extroverts and introverts, about the difficulties of living together with representatives of these personality types, about ways to overcome these difficulties.

Difference in temperaments

Ekaterina Burmistrova

Extroverts ("extra" - outside) are people whose main events lie in the outside world, mainly in the field of interpersonal relations.

An extrovert gives the impression of a very sociable person, he can have a huge number of acquaintances, and at the same time all such acquaintances may not be very deep, not very reliable.

For people of the introverted type, what is inside them is more significant and important.

If a person is an introvert, this does not mean that he sits at home all day long, burying himself in a book, a computer, a picture that he paints. He may be a highly socialized person. But the most important events for him are those that take place in his inner world. Introverts will not have 438 friends in different social networks, it can be two or three friends, but these are high-quality, reliable relationships that sometimes last a lifetime.

An extrovert, in order to experience an event, needs to tell someone about it, at least by phone, or write a short post. And then the event will take place. And for an introvert, immediately telling about an event is like erasing it with an eraser. He first needs to experience this event inside, build his attitude towards it, and only then he will be able to share it.

Energy sources of an extrovert

Energy sources of extroverts are primarily people. If there is no opportunity to share impressions and feelings, then their mood falls, if there is a chronic lack of opportunity to share their experiences, a person can become a grump. An extroverted child is content, happy, and can behave decently when he has the opportunity to interact with other children.

The need for people is not an inferiority complex, it does not exist because a person does not believe in himself and he needs others. An extroverted child, and even an adult, often needs people to feel alive.

Extroverts and Introverts

For an extrovert, communication is a source of energy, a battery that must be periodically recharged. For some time, he may not practice communication, but immerse himself in himself, but even immersed in an activity or a system of views that does not welcome communication, an extrovert will still find an opportunity to apply himself, to realize his desire to communicate with other people.

Blocking these channels is senseless and cruel. For example, parents may be passionate opponents of children's institutions, they do not want to send their child to kindergarten, school. In itself, this desire is neither good nor bad. But this choice is not suitable for all children. An extroverted child, until you take him to the garden, you will "take out the brain. " Because all the communication that he needs, he will beat out, twist out of you.

The next extrovert source is great, but not all adults realize this. This is praise, preferably verbal or tangible, like a medal. The extrovert says, "I washed the dishes." The correct reaction is not “uh-huh”, but a medal. An introvert needs praise too, but if you praise like an extrovert, he will feel like you are mocking him. Praise and comments should be appropriate and subtle.

Adult extroverts who understand everything are very inspired by praise, they gain strength from it. Praise for an extrovert is feedback, positive reinforcement.

The third source of energy for the extrovert is assistance in thinking through conversation. Extroverts think when they talk. If it is impossible for them to discuss, it is difficult for them to think. To solve something, you need to talk to them. Extroverts don't chat, they're just thinking out loud.

Introvert energy sources

The energy source of an introvert is, firstly, time alone. If there is an introvert in the family, the zone into which the person has entered should be highlighted - and this becomes a marker: "do not pester me." It’s good if “legislation” is being formed that people in this zone should not be touched.

The next source of the introvert is free space. Very often, even in large apartments, no one has their own place. An introvert needs it. Often these places of retreat are the bathroom or toilet, the only rooms that are closed ...

Source: www.photodom.com Author: Natasha Ivanichek

The next source of energy for an introvert is time to think. For example, you need to take an introverted child to the theater, but he does not really like to go somewhere. In order to avoid any difficulty, you can use the step notification system: “You know, there is such an interesting theater in Moscow. In general, the theater is such an interesting place.” Not immediately offer, but go around in circles, give time to get used to the fact that the theater exists, that it has to do with people, and it can also have something to do with it. Time to reflect on the fact, especially if it is associated with an increase in the number of people, an external event.

By demanding an immediate response from an introvert, you seem to be taking energy away from him. Demanding immediate stories about impressions - too. Very often, neglect of this feature in communication is the beginning of a crack and an increase in the distance in marital relations. An introverted husband comes home from work, his wife: “How are you?” Husband: "Okay." On the 1001st “normal” there are no more questions.

The main thing is that one has the impression that they do not want to share with him, while the second has the impression that they are shaking him like a stick and they want to get something out of him. I need to give my husband time. 40 minutes at the entrance is the golden rule. Children, even small ones, can be explained that dad or mom come home from work tired, they can’t communicate now, you can kiss dad and let him “get wet”.

And the last source of energy for an introvert is the ability not to be distracted. Usually, when there is a family and household, you have to do many things at the same time. And only introverted women understand that it is very tiring to stir the soup with one hand, sweep the floor with the other, hold the child with the third, pick up the telephone receiver with the fourth.

Try to say to an introvert of any gender who is immersed in some activity: “Listen, go turn off the rice!” It's a normal request, nothing special, but it can be disastrous, because this interruption brings the introvert back to zero in the business from which he was ripped off.

A classic example from school life can be given: high school, the person at the blackboard answers: “This problem can be solved in 6 ways. The first way is like this. The second way, it can be better in this situation - such and such. "So, Ivanov, hurry up already." Ivanov is interrupted. “This problem can be solved in 6 ways. The first way is such and such…” He returned to the zero point. His thoughts are built, he cannot jump. This is not harmful, not a pathology, not a mental defect, but a feature of the thinking of a person of this type.

If an introvert speaks, then he already has a scheme in his head.

Both the child and the adult need to learn how to recharge after realizing the typology. Learn to see when the forces are running out, and learn, based on the resources that are currently available, to look for new forces. You need to know which situations most deplete one or another type.

Attention, docking!

How can these different ways of living fit together?

The first step is to become aware of what you have in the set. There are no pure types, but some things should be outlined. You need to understand what exactly in your family is associated with this typology.

The second is to name situations. To name it is to modify it by 30%. For example, yes, we have an evening peak of conflicts: “One came, and he needs to sit alone. The second sat at home and he wants to talk. What can we do?

The next step is to recognize your normative conflicts and think about them in terms of different typologies. Maybe mom needs to take some kind of sports subscription to a fitness club, and then she will get impressions? Or will it be cheaper to turn on a harmful cartoon to the child so that both introverts can come to their senses? The idea is to teach each family member to keep their tone in an acceptable state and not interfere with the other. And to help the child - somehow teach, suggest, organize. He cannot do it himself.

It is very important that you are not influenced by such a "wonderful" idea that a person can be re-educated. “Now he is like that, here we will lay on him, explain that it is better to live differently. And then it will change, and we will all be happy.” The typology does not change arbitrarily. It needs to be recognized and taken into account.

What is the most difficult thing in the mutual consideration of typology in the family? - personal interests. The main obstacle is the “I tried harder” argument. “I went to a lecture. I wrote everything down, I'm trying to realize it, but he (she), the bastard, did not lift a finger. And this can have a rather strong influence on family relationships, as if if I do something, I will lose. In fact, there will be no losers. Although, of course, I want the symmetry of actions.

Extroverts and introverts

The husband thinks that his wife went to a lecture, her aunt said something in her ears, and now she wants to enlighten him.

But the information is not passed up the family ladder system. Obsessive passing without a request cannot work. And if your behavior changes even one iota, then the source of information that served as a real change in behavior becomes more and more reliable, everything will be surrounded by more respect.

In order for the other person to perceive something, you first need permission to enter - whether he is ready to talk. Active imposition is one of the typical normative conflicts between introverts and extroverts.

There is such a type in psychology - an involuntary patient: this is when one of the other brought to an appointment with a psychologist by the hand. This is one harm both for relationships and for a person. Only when you have a request do you listen.

Expansion in the knowledge of psychology can be both useful and harmful to the family. This should not become a jackhammer, a way of influencing the neighbor in the direction of his improvement. The main thing is not to deprive the other of what he needs and you do not need. And do not impose what he does not need. An introvert does not need classes in a team. He gets nothing but fatigue. He sits in the company of strangers, there is no space, a lot of impressions he does not need. And an extrovert needs to come, see the world, show himself, and he has already rested.

Reactions to stress

An extrovert and an introvert have two possible reactions to stress, overload, to something excessive in life. There is an opportunity to react extraponatively (outwardly) - to yell, to share on the phone, to tell twenty people about what happened to you.

Extroverts do this quite often.

But they have the ability to respond to stress in a different, intro-conceptual way. It is an inward reaction when an event over-intensifies the inner experience.

For extroverts, manifestations of the first kind may be more dangerous. These people are already very expressive, and if they express themselves outwardly in stress, this expressiveness can spill over into aggression. For introverts, it can be dangerous to react too much inward, because they already have a great tendency to immerse themselves in inner experiences. Under stress, the reaction inward can lead to complete immersion in oneself, to something similar to depression, to isolation, separation from the world.

Acceptance of the child's typology

The typology must be accepted as the appearance of the child. It is not always easy to accept a child for who he is. It is very important to understand your child's temperament in non-negative terms. Each temperament has both strengths and weaknesses. It cannot be said that one type is better than another, that an introvert is better than an extrovert. These are different people, they perceive the world differently, and they have different running advantages.

For example, a child gets up early in the morning, excitable - in other words, a lark. A label is attached to him - "fascist", because. does not allow parents to sleep. Often, some uncomfortable or poorly understood quality of character receives a negative name, a normal neutral quality receives a specific negative color. And the self-consciousness and self-esteem of a small child is built from the outside inward. “Mom says I'm a fool, so I'm a fool. Smart boy means I'm a smart boy.

The child thinks of himself the way we talk about him: we, Marya Ivanovna in kindergarten and a couple of friends. And only at a later age can he think of it and say: "The fool herself." The little one will listen to everything, absorb, build his self-esteem.

Temperament can be accepted, and everyone will benefit from it, because you will understand what it is and how you can use it, where are the strengths.

Or you can not accept it. And since you can’t put him anywhere, a child or an adult will become neurotic, and the efficiency will be less. It's like spitting against the wind, swimming against the current. The quality of temperament can be used as a driving force. And fighting it is as useless as fighting the wind.

Irrational ways of solving problems

A computer game is a way for an introvert to be alone with himself. Any screen addiction will have the source of the fact that “while you are here, they don’t touch you” You secluded yourself, wet your monsters, they are virtual, they don’t really exist, they don’t want anything from you, they don’t come into contact with you. And all sorts of other habits, such as smoking and drinking, can also have such a background.

There was a case: a couple came to a family appointment with a psychologist, the husband had the initial stage of alcoholism. They began to find out when he drinks. The husband says: “I work full time, I go up to the entrance (and there are several children, I feel sorry for my wife, she was tired during the day, she suffered, now I need to help her), when I think about it, I can’t help but drink a bottle. ” And he drinks at the entrance.

Very good family man, very responsible father. They didn’t get bad, but it became clear where the bottle came from. Or he comes home. Children stick to him, and he would have to sit for 20 minutes. And he catches up even at home. As he drinks, the contours of reality blur, and he is actually alone.

Alcoholism can also be due to the fact that it is difficult for a person to make contact, he is very reserved, buttoned up. And drink a little - relax. There are many such cases.

Typology change

During life, the prevalence of extra- and introverted traits may change. Not in a day or a week, but over some long periods of time, it can change significantly.

Change in typology is an actual phenomenon in our time. Often, chronically overworked extroverts begin to have introvert personality traits. For example, an extroverted man is chronically overworked, and his work involves a lot of communication. And he does not spend eight hours a day at this job, but more, without days off and long holidays, remaining online after he has finished his stay at work.

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