Tips for new relationship
Best Relationship Advice for New Couples, According to Experts
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Have you ever gotten butterflies at the start of a new romantic relationship because you like the person so much you just don't want to mess it up? You're not alone.
"A new relationship is full of potential, possibilities, and discovery—not only of our partners but of ourselves and our needs, wants, and desires," says dating and relationship expert Andrea Syrtash. And celebrity matchmaker Carmelia Ray agrees that this "honeymoon stage" is an important period in your life. "It's a special time to create unforgettable memories together and a time where many couples feel as if they are falling in love," she explains. But the new relationship anxiety and jitters you feel can definitely take away some of the carefree excitement and cause unnecessary pressure.
Meet the Expert
- Andrea Syrtash is a relationship expert and author of He's Just Not Your Type (And That's a Good Thing). She is also the founder and editor-in-chief of pregnantish.com.
- Carmelia Ray is a celebrity matchmaker, dating expert, media commentator, and the chief dating adviser of WooYou App.
To make sure you don't accidentally sabotage your relationship, we asked both experts to divulge the biggest pieces of new relationship advice they give their clients so they can actually enjoy this period of getting to know each other (and spend less time stressing). As Syrtash says, "Long-term relationships are work, but dating shouldn't feel like it."
With that in mind, here are the nine things to keep in mind when you're starting out with a new S.O.
Keep the Past in the Past
"A big mistake people make when dating someone new is to bring all of their fears, concerns, and past negative relationship experiences to their current relationship," says Ray. She explains that in the more than 26 years of speaking to singles, she's heard that they do not want to hear about their date's past relationships on first or second dates. Avoid oversharing, and keep your thoughts and conversations focused on the person you're currently dating and on getting to know them.
Avoid interrogating your date about their past experiences. Aim for engaging, conversational dialogue that flows naturally instead of a scripted line of targeted questioning.
Don't Make Comparisons
It's easy to instantly start comparing your relationship or your S.O. to other relationships or partners, but it won't do you any good and it will upset your current partner, Ray says. Instead, ask yourself these questions: Are you in the relationship to compete with someone else? Are you in this relationship to impress other people? Or are you in the relationship because you like the person you're dating?
Look at Actions More Than Words
"It doesn't matter if someone is talking about taking trips next year if he or she is unavailable now," says Syrtash. In this case, you want to make sure you're reading actions rather than believing every word that person says. On the flip side, she says when your partner introduces you to family and friends, chances are that this person sees you in their life for the long haul.
Be Vulnerable, Even If You're Afraid
"The thought of being vulnerable is a scary proposition for most people," admits Ray. She says that it's how you show your true self at the risk of being hurt. When you date someone new, showing this side can deepen your connection and build trust. "Vulnerability can be a gift to the person who's wanting to know you on a deeper level," she explains.
Show your vulnerability without feeling totally overwhelmed by sharing a personal story. It may sound overly simplistic, but it's a great first step in building an emotional connection.
Don't Embellish the Truth or Brag
"Bragging is a huge turnoff for both men and women," says Ray. "It's not necessary to feel the need to continually impress your partner, especially if they already like you." You can be proud of who you are without listing all of your life's accomplishments.
Stay in the Moment
Remind yourself that being in a new relationship is a time of discovery and curiosity (and a lot is going to be new all at once). "To alleviate pressure, remind yourself to stay present and open," says Syrtash. And this goes for being true to yourself and trusting your gut instinct. It doesn't matter if someone is perfect on paper if they end up not being the right person for you.
Refrain From Being Needy
"A little bit of jealousy can be considered cute and healthy," says Ray. "But making demands on your partner of their time and restricting them from doing things they were doing before you started dating is a red flag." The matchmaker says it's common for couples who are newly dating to spend a lot of their free time with each other and give up some of their usual time with friends and family. However, avoid constantly texting, calling, or making demands to see your S.O. because you'll stress them out and may cause them to peddle back.
Don't Give Up Time With Family or Friends
Ray says that in a new relationship it's common for couples to drop some of their usual activities and cancel on friends to see their partner. "Remember that attraction is also created by the anticipation of seeing your partner and by creating some distance," says Ray. "When you always drop everything to be with your new partner, it may set the expectation that your previous commitments are secondary to who you're dating." Keep yourself busy and honor your plans with friends as you adjust your schedule in moderation.
Listen and Stay Curious
"Listening is a skill and a communication tool most people don't do very well," says Ray. When you give your partner your undivided attention, it allows them to feel both heard and appreciated. When you show curiosity about who they are and what they're up to, it not only indicates your interest in their life but makes them feel unique and special.
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New Relationship Advice Everyone Should Follow
written by JOSIE SANTI
If real life was a rom-com, your relationship would go something like this: The ultimate meet-cute would have you locking eyes and knowing in your soul that they’re The One from the first “hello. ” Cut to a montage of baking together (with spilled flour all over the kitchen, obviously), sunset strolls holding hands, and maybe a tandem bicycle ride or two. To no one’s surprise, relationships tend to develop a little less cinematically in real life. The beginning of a relationship is tough to navigate, but it can also make or break the longevity of your romance. Here are 15 key pieces of new-relationship advice to start off on the right foot (and figure out if it’s even worth sticking with).
1. Focus on the present, not the past
It’s natural to bring your fears and negative experiences to a new relationship; after all, it’s a survival mechanism to prevent getting your heart broken again. But even if old fears and insecurities may prevent heartbreak, they can also prevent you from truly being happy in a new relationship. For example, if a past partner was unfaithful, don’t distrust your new partner just because of what an ex-relationship was like. Focus on the qualities that make your new partner different. If they’re trustworthy enough to date, that means you should trust them.
Likewise, while the “dating history” conversation will be an important one eventually, don’t rush into it. Spend the first few dates getting to know your partner’s likes, dislikes, dreams, and personality traits, while they’re getting to know yours. There’s no need to explain what went wrong in your last relationship on the first date or find out about their dating past before you know the names of their siblings and where they grew up.
2. Talk about the future early on
While you shouldn’t focus on the past, you should focus on the future, at least somewhat. Of course, you don’t need to (and probably shouldn’t) ask how many kids they want before the salad course arrives on date #1, but you don’t want to wait until after one year of dating to find out that they never want to get married if marriage is a non-negotiable for you. It’s not always fun to talk about things like life goals, religion, marriage, politics, etc., but naturally work your deal-breakers into the conversation to make sure you’re at least on the same page as soon as you start to see a future together. Also, whether you’re looking for a long-term relationship or are looking for more of a casual fling, communicate it.
3. Make sure you’re attracted to the person, not the idea of a relationship
Sometimes, we want to be in a relationship so badly (dating burnout is real) that we don’t even realize we’re more attracted to the idea of a relationship than the person we’re in a relationship with. If you’re so focused on finding Happily Ever After, you run the risk of pushing other people into boxes that they don’t belong in (or don’t want to be in) or forcing a spark. You overlook flaws or red flags because your mind has already convinced you that this has to work. Instead, take your partner at face value. Assume they’re not The One. Would they still be someone you want to spend your time with? If you enjoy their company so much that you’d want to be with them whether or not they were “The One,” then you’re likely attracted to them, not just a relationship.
4. Don’t skip the sex talk!
This should go without saying, but if you’re not comfortable talking to your partner about sexual health (including STD testing, history, etc.), then you’re not ready to be intimate (or maybe they’re not someone you should be intimate with). Discuss your likes, dislikes, and what you are (and are not) comfortable with while listening to theirs without judgment. Oh, and don’t forget that the “right time” to be intimate is different for every couple (screw the “three-date rule” or any other bullsh*t guidelines), and remember that just one partner feeling ready is not enough.
5. Meet each other’s friends
Since the relationship is new, you may be tempted to keep it all to yourself. However, meeting friends early on is crucial. The way you interact with each other’s crew can give insight into your partner and what the relationship will be like. For example, if all of your partner’s friends are huge douches you would never get along with, you might not know your partner as well as you think you do (who chooses to hang out with douches if they’re not a douche themselves, ya know?).
Likewise, having your new partner around your friends can illuminate potential red flags. Your friends might see something that you don’t or your partner might not get along with them as well as you had hoped. If you both fit in seamlessly with each other’s group of friends, that establishes a mutual friendship, meaning you won’t have to choose between hanging out together or with friends when you all get along swimmingly.
6. Don’t have important conversations over text
Texting is a modern-day blessing when it comes to regular check-ins and sending funny memes to make your partner laugh while they’re at work. However, texting should not be used for anything deeper than making plans or LOLing over TikToks. Discussing your feelings for each other or getting into disagreements should always be done in person. Not only can texting make in-person feel awkward, but a lot can also be lost in translation and cause more misunderstanding. If you feel an argument coming on and you’re in a situation where you can’t at least talk over the phone, let your partner know you’ll discuss it when you can talk it through together.
7. Be yourself
OK, so this one sounds so cliché, I’m embarrassed to even write it. But I would have saved young, single Josie from a lot of wasted time if I had been 100% myself on every first date and at the beginning of every new relationship. I get it: You try to be all “chill” and “cool” at the beginning. You pretend you watch horror movies instead of the Hallmark channel, and you tell them you like their artsy music even though you only listen to Taylor Swift’s first three albums on repeat. Even if you’re still at the phase of shaving your legs before every date (ah, more innocent times), be honest and upfront about your likes, dislikes, and who you are. Not only will it save you time and heartbreak with the people who aren’t a good match, but it will also help the right person find you.
8. Actually enjoy it
Another personal story coming at you: I can look back at the beginning of every relationship and remember all the times I worried about how my hair or makeup looked before going on dates or reading into all the little signs out of worry they didn’t like me as much as I hoped they did. But the beginning of relationships is so special: The “new-relationship bubble” has yet to pop, the honeymoon phase feels like it will last forever, and you’re smiling, like, all the time. It’s normal to feel scared or reluctant to be vulnerable when your heart is on the line. But no matter how scary a new relationship can feel, don’t forget to enjoy it. Notice all the little moments, try new things together, and make sure you’re having fun.
9. Don’t worry about labels (to a certain extent)
With Bumble, Tinder, and Hinge, it can be incredibly confusing where you are (“Talking?” “Dating?” “Hooking up?” “FWB?” “Wifed Up?”). If ambiguity still lingers over where you two fall on the relationship scale, don’t panic. Different people have different timelines for when they feel ready to take each relationship step, so different timelines don’t necessarily mean you’re incompatible or that they don’t like you.
However, you should have clarity about whether or not you’re both seeing other people, and you should know if you’re on the same page in terms of keeping it casual or looking for something serious (always be open about what you want). But otherwise, the “girlfriend” label does not necessarily mean what it did back in kindergarten when it only meant “I like you,” so don’t sweat it if they haven’t popped the G-word yet. Oh, and if you run into that awkward introducing-them-but-don’t-know-how-to-refer-to-them situation, just call them by their name. You don’t need to clarify what they are to you, and it might cause a lot more confusion if you try to guess.
10. Know that red flags aren’t suggestions (and aren’t going to go away)
If you catch them in a lie, they’re rude to the waiter, or they say something mean about a friend, guess what? It’s not a “one-time thing,” and they’re not going to change. Red flags are gut feelings that are telling you something isn’t right, so listen to them. Ignoring red flags can only prolong the inevitable demise of a relationship and make the eventual breakup harder for both of you. Nobody’s perfect; you might judge your partner and they might make mistakes. If it’s simply a judgment or mistake, you’ll be able to talk it through. If it’s more of a gut feeling that “this isn’t right” or an inexcusable behavior more than a mistake, run for the hills.
11. Spend some time apart
A new relationship is incredibly exciting. So exciting, in fact, that it’s easy to get swept up in your life as a new couple and let the routines from your single life dwindle. Maybe you see your friends less often or spend less time on your hobby to spend more time with your new partner. Sure, it’s a great sign that you want to be together all the time, but spending all of your time together (and giving up your own independence and social life) could set you up for a relationship disaster. No matter what, make sure you don’t lose your friends or yourself. Avoid constantly texting or calling, and try your best to act like nothing has changed in your friendships (because it shouldn’t have!). You shouldn’t be looking for the person to share one life with; you’re looking for the person to share your life with.
12. Stop bringing up your ex
Especially if you were not the one to break off your last relationship, it’s natural to compare your new partner or new relationship to your old one. But remember how we’re supposed to leave the past in the past? Newsflash: Your new partner is not your ex (thank god!), and they don’t want to keep hearing about your ex. Sure, you’ll need to have the “dating history” chat to understand each other better, but otherwise, is it really necessary to ever bring up an ex? No one wants to feel like they’re being measured against someone else, but it’s also destructive to compare your relationship to past experiences instead of enjoying it for what it is. In the words of Elsa, let it go (like, for real).
13. Relationships aren’t 50/50—they’re 100/100
Some of the best relationship advice I’ve ever received is that relationships really aren’t all about compromise or trying for 50/50. Contrary to popular misconception, you can’t just contribute what you think is your share. For a happy, successful, long-lasting relationship, give all that you’re capable of and expect the same in return. Of course, conflicts will arise (and will arise even more the longer you’re together), but you both should be 100% in the relationship. You cannot split up relationship responsibilities like you split a check on a dinner date.
14. Communicate how you feel often
The start of a relationship can lay the foundation for the future, so pay particular attention to how you talk to each other and work through problems. If you’re unsure of the right communication tools to use in your disagreements with your partner, consider consulting a relationship therapist (no such thing as too early!).
Besides the major designer closet on a writer’s salary, Sex and the City got one more thing wrong: Your friends should not always be your relationship sounding board. Of course, you should have a strong support system, but when you get in a disagreement with your partner, think of turning inward instead of outward to fix it. Talk it through with each other instead of immediately complaining to your friends. PS: Your partner is not a mind reader, whether it comes to date nights or sex positions. Tell them what you want and create a perfect relationship instead of expecting a perfect person.
15. Remember that actions matter more than words
Labels are one thing that everyone has different opinions on, but at the end of the day, you should know how they feel about you. It doesn’t matter if they’re promising to take you on vacation or that they want to introduce you to their parents if they’re not making consistent plans, making you feel special, and showing you how they feel about you (instead of just telling you). Confusion happens when actions aren’t matching words, so pay attention to what they’re doing instead of what they’re saying to find clarity. If they really do care about you, you won’t be confused.
New relationship? Top tips and tricks for young couples ✅
N e w !
- Relationship Stages
- How to Start a Relationship
- Dating History
- Bonus: How to Build a Trusting Relationship
Not everyone is lucky enough to find someone they can see themselves with in life. All relationships have a beginning, and that beginning is the beginning of something beautiful, but also something delicate.
Every person is different, so starting something with another person who is completely different from you is just a challenge for most of us. True, there may not be fixed rules on how to start a relationship, but everything will matter if you are at least prepared!
Here are 101 things you should know about starting a new relationship…
First of all, you need to become familiar with the various stages of a relationship. You will not believe, but not everyone manages to pass the first!
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1. Attraction, courtship and romance
The first stage is when you are just starting to get to know each other. Some people call this the honeymoon or fantasy phase because it can feel too perfect, and your partner can even seem so perfect at this stage.
This phase can last from three months to two years. At this stage, both of you tend to focus on each other's redeeming qualities, and your flaws are almost ignored. In short, you see only the good in each other, which is why you love spending time with each other, and it seems to hurt when you are apart. There are no conflicts in this stage, so it is considered the most beautiful stage.
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2. The setting of reality in
After the honeymoon, reality gradually begins to penetrate into your relationship. This stage will either improve your relationship or destroy it. Both of you will gradually begin to notice each other's shortcomings. The fantastic and lofty feeling of falling in love begins to fade.
It's not that you're not in love anymore, it's just that you're starting to see the reality of it all and your partner's shortcomings, which were almost ignored in the first stage. If you are able to sincerely accept these flaws and look beyond them and remember what it was that made you fall in love in the first place, you will be able to save your relationship.
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At this stage, the flaws that you slowly saw in the previous stage are almost revealed, and you both try your best to make your relationship work, despite your differences.
At this stage, conflicts and quarrels begin, and some couples even break up or divorce at this stage. If you cannot communicate positively, trust and work together at this stage, you will not be able to move on to the next stage.
The chase is finally over! You accepted each other's flaws and still want to be together no matter what. You already feel secure and connected to each other, and you trust that both will be able to handle future conflicts that will threaten what you have.
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At this point, don't forget to start thinking about what you can share and do together to spice up your relationship, because to be honest, it can get a little boring.
Couples who have passed the stages of love and have reached this highest stage are very satisfied, happy and safe with each other. They can no longer imagine being with other partners because that would mean being with another person.
At this stage, they will be able to decide on the wedding, because they know that they have a mature and lasting love that will last a lifetime. They see the future together, and they are excited, but at the same time they put up with it.
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Many relationships don't really go through the first stage because couples sometimes get trapped in a love bubble at the beginning of their relationship and when that bubble bursts they just can't handle it!
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Well, don't worry your sweet little mind, here is a list of the best and only tips you'll need to work and get through the delicate stages of your new relationship:
1.It's okay to be vulnerable.
When you start something new, it's normal to have fears and doubts; fears of getting hurt and doubts about the intentions of the other person. Most of these feelings come from past experiences.
For your relationship to work, you need to postpone it for a while. Let your partner in and break down the walls surrounding your heart. This is the only way to truly connect with each other and make something beautiful.
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2. Do not play games.
In the long history of the dating world, there have been many mind games related to dating. "Don't text too fast", "Don't call her back for at least three days." Do not participate in these extra games. They won't do any good.
Remember, you are not here to play. You are here because you seriously think that this person can be so much more in your life. Speak sincerely and sincerely about your intentions towards your partner. Make the other person feel and know how sincere you are by showing up on dates on time, being true to what you say, and listening to your date sincerely.
3. Determine what really attracted you to him/her.
One of the most difficult questions that couples really cannot answer is whether they are being asked about the reason that attracted them to each other. Some of you may say that it just has to be or something like that, but it really is, you just have to reveal it.
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Make sure you start a relationship with this person for the right reasons. Your attraction must be sincere, not forced or secondary. It must be something innate in the person. Appearance is a bad reason to draw attention, although this is a fairly common phenomenon. It should be something that cannot be seen, but that can be felt when you are with him or her. Trust me, you will know it as soon as you feel it.
4. Find out if he/she has the qualities of an ideal partner.
They say it's not good to have too high standards, but it's actually good to have at least standards. However, be realistic with them. You don't want to set standards that no one else can reach. It only reflects that you think too highly of yourself too.
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From a logical and historical point of view, the ideal partner is someone who is emotionally mature, honest, sociable, interested in everything in you, independent, respectful, compassionate, sweet, equal to you and, of course, possessing sense of humor!
Identify the type of person you would like to talk to and spend time with. This is usually an excellent basis for determining the qualities of your ideal partner. It may seem like you're just looking for a friend, but in fact, the best relationships are those that start out as friendships.
As Taylor Swift noted in her song, Gentle , the early stages of a relationship can be very difficult. You will doubt every step you take and will be completely confused about what's what. Don't worry too much, it's normal!
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To help you out, here is a list of the most frequently asked dating schedule questions when you are still starting to date your boyfriend or girlfriend. Remember, nothing is predetermined, you don't have to follow the schedule at the expense of haste. Just go with the flow and everything will work itself out!
How many dates before a kiss?
If you both feel comfortable, a first kiss would be perfectly acceptable at the end of your first date. You have already begun to get to know each other, you walked her home, and there is an awkward silence that only a sweet first kiss can break!
How many dates before sex?
According to the three-date rule, both of you should wait at least until the third date before going to bed together. Sleeping or having sex with your partner obviously goes a long way when you're looking forward to something more with that person, and this rule requires you to wait three days before you act!
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However, research by Groupon found that the average person finds it acceptable to have sex after the eighth date. Girls really think it's okay to sleep with their partners after the ninth date, while boys think it's okay to sleep together after the fifth.
How many dates before a relationship?
Couples usually go on five dates with each other before officially announcing that they are dating. Maybe that's the basis of most guys who believe in the 5-Date Rule as a marker of when it's OK to sleep together since they're already "official" on the fifth date.
How many dates before the exclusive?
In this world of busy schedules, couples only meet one to three times a week. If a couple has already dated at least once a week and has dated each other 10-12 times, that only goes to show that they really enjoy spending time with each other and it's time to make their relationship exclusive!
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However, this is not a fixed rule, because some couples go on 24 dates together before becoming exclusive.
Bonus: how to build trust in a relationship
The most important thing you need to take care of when starting a relationship is trust. Trust is not something you just give or receive, it has to be earned. Couples who trust each other are on the path to a healthy relationship.
1. Respect each other.
If you respect each other's differences, opinions and values, this is a sign of a healthy relationship.
2. Be a man or woman of your word.
By making promises and keeping them, you gain a lot of trust points with your partner! Little things like showing up and doing what you said can go a long way.
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3. Gradually become vulnerable.
Open up to your partner so that he or she opens up to you.
4. Give your partner the opportunity to have no doubts.
If you hear bad gossip about your partner, learn to talk to him or her about it before jumping to any conclusions. You must believe him or her more than these heresies.
5. Express your feelings freely and functionally.
If you are angry with your partner or have any pent-up feelings that you want to convey to him or her, feel free to communicate it positively. This is the only way to resolve your conflicts.
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6. Give each other a chance.
Starting a new relationship is scary, but taking that leap of faith to take that next step is essential to taking your relationship to the next level.
7. Give and take.
Be prepared to cherish your partner and support him/her in his/her endeavours. In turn, you will be amazed at how nice it feels to be taken care of. Love breeds love.
Love may seem like it's all about romance, but when you're in love, something deeper is waiting for you. Love may seem magical, but it's actually hard work and sacrifice to keep your relationship with your partner. However, this journey is worth sharing with the right person.
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16 Tips for Anyone in a Relationship
December 22, 2020Relationships
How to find the right person and live happily ever after with him or escape from an unhealthy love story in time.
You can not only read this article, but also listen to it. If it's more convenient for you, turn on the podcast.
1. Remember that opposites do not attract
Of course, you can have different hobbies and views, but exactly as long as they do not invade the territory of the partner's key worldview positions. The joint life of a supporter of patriarchal views and a feminist, a monarchist and a liberal, and even fans of Spartak and CSKA is unlikely to be cloudless. In key questions, you must look, according to the precepts of Exupery, in one direction.
2. Set the rules
Arrangements are not a desire to limit someone's freedom, it is an attempt to develop a common language that your couple speaks. Your partner’s views on the distribution of responsibilities, financial issues, the possibility of sex on the side, joint and separate holidays, and even who goes to the shower first in the morning, can be completely different from yours. It is not necessary to wait for a major quarrel to find out what he thinks about this. Set rules ahead of time and follow them.
3. Hear someone else's "no"
Do not do "the best" if the partner has clearly expressed his disagreement with something. "No" does not mean "maybe" or "yes, but I want to be persuaded."
4. Do not tolerate a partner who does unpleasant things to teach you a lesson
Taking the position of a teacher, a person ceases to be an equal partner and begins to act from the point of view of a higher level, a subject who is allowed more. What's next? Will he give you grades and expel you from home for poor performance? Someone who intentionally makes you feel guilty is not good for a relationship.
5. Don't try to be smarter
You must have heard advice from the series: "Be smarter, keep quiet and do it your way", "Just do it, then she will understand that it's better this way." These are all tricks and manipulations that harm relationships. If you cannot openly agree and continue to do what is unacceptable for your half, you should either reconsider your position or change your partner.
6. Do not demand telepathic abilities from your partner
Nature gave a speech apparatus to a person, use it for its intended purpose. Tell your partner what you like and dislike, what you expect, what actions upset you. And certainly you should not blame a person for not knowing what you are offended by.
7. Solve problems without involving a third party
No need to run for advice to parents, friends or anonymous people on the forum. You always know better what is happening in a relationship, since it is you who know all the circumstances of the conflict.
Let's say you still turned to your mother for support and she agreed that your partner is wrong and generally a bad person. Only you and the offender will then make peace, and for your mother (friend, the entire Internet), he will remain a scoundrel.
8. Take out the rubbish from the hut
At first glance, this advice contradicts the previous one, but it is not. If you find yourself unable to cope with problems in a couple, you should seek help. With suddenly emerging different views on life, a psychologist will help to cope. In case of mental or physical abuse, seek help wherever possible: from friends, in special centers, in the police. Not everyone has the resources to get out of an abuse situation on their own.
9. Do not compare your relationships with stories from books and films
Stop trying to repeat a love story from your favorite movies, books, and especially fairy tales. You are not Cinderella and the Prince, you are not Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet (or Bridget Jones), you are not Tony Stark and Pepper Potts, your relationship develops differently, and that's okay.
And then, before plunging into the vanilla abyss called "happily ever after", the characters go through a series of difficulties, because the conflict is the engine of the plot. Create your own "happily ever after" without serial wisdom and without regard to the fantasies of screenwriters and writers.
10. Move at your own pace
Even if all your friends got married a year after they met, two years later they had a baby, five years later they bought a house in the suburbs suitable for a large family, it is not necessary to try to fit your relationship into a similar scenario. Each couple moves at their own pace, just keep going.
11. Don't ignore the red flags
Most relationships have a presentation period when both partners try to appear better than they really are. And if already at the candy-bouquet stage you see danger signals, do not ignore them, trust your intuition.
Unreasonable outbursts of aggression, rudeness towards waiters, unflattering remarks about exes and other things that bother you can easily be written off as “it seemed” and “he / she will improve.” Most likely, it didn’t seem to you and your partner will not improve. Soberly think about whether you are ready to face such negative manifestations on a regular basis.
12. Check if relationships make life easier
If your love story consists entirely of difficulties, overcoming, quarrels and rare but bright bouts of happiness, this is an unhealthy relationship. People quickly become accustomed to emotional swings, when despair and delight alternate, and can consider themselves quite satisfied with this.
But be honest with yourself: does your partner make your life easier or more difficult? Do you feel happy more often than unhappy? Don't wait for your love's Titanic to sink, get on the boat. Otherwise, you may not have enough space on the saving door.
13. Leave each other personal space
Not everything that people come into a relationship with becomes common. Reserve the right to conduct private correspondence, have personal savings that you spend on things you only need, and engage in your favorite hobby. And most importantly, your partner can do all this too. Just accept it.
14. Don't chase the ghosts of your exes.
If you didn't meet in kindergarten, your partner has most likely already been in a relationship. Just leave them in the past, you don’t need to constantly compare yourself with the former, check their pages on social networks and count how many likes they give to your half.
By the way, you probably also had a relationship. And forget about them too. It is very easy to begin to idealize the person with whom you had a romantic story. But consider this: if an ex was great, he wouldn't be an ex.
15. Do not consider jealousy as an indicator of high feelings
The demand to stop communication with all persons of the opposite sex, ambiguous reactions to every glance in the direction of an attractive person, attempts to control correspondence do not indicate great love and fear of losing a partner. This is a way of control and the very alarm signal that should not be ignored.
16. Talk about love
Have you confessed your feelings to your partner once and do you think that is enough? Do not take the person next to you for granted, be grateful that he chose you.