Signs your mother in law doesn t like you
17 subtle (and not so subtle) signs your mother-in-law hates you, Lifestyle News
It might have been a niggling feeling you couldn't shake. Or maybe she let you know as clear as day.
A strained relationship with your mother-in-law can be the most stressful thing on your marriage. Your spouse might not be able to see it cause she still looks at them with doting eyes.
And while she did a great job raising your spouse (you did marry them, after all!), it doesn't mean she reflects the same love for you!
No matter what you do, you can't catch a break without her breathing down your neck telling you how terrible you are and how great her child is.
If you aren't sure whether your mother-in-law has a disagreement with you over small matters or just flat-out doesn't like you at all, check out this list to see if your mother-in-law hates you.
17 SIGNS YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW HATES YOU
1. TAKES EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO PUBLICLY HUMILIATE YOU
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Your spouse might pass off your mother-in-law's attitude as very direct and say "she's like that with everyone". But when you notice she takes time out of her day to scold you or put you down in front of other people, this is a big red flag.
Publicly chastising you is only intended to make you humiliated.
If it keeps happening, bring up specific instances to your partner and ask them to back you up.
2. SHE SNUBS YOUR INVITES
If your mother-in-law finds a way to weasel out of all your invites, chances are that she really doesn't like you.
Especially if she ends up accepting the same invite when it comes from your spouse!
3. DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOUR CAREER OR PERSONAL LIFE
You know your mother-in-law doesn't like you if her eyes glaze over when (or if) she asks you what your job is.
Or she doesn't even ask you how you are.
Having an interest in your career is a simple way of showing care for you. If your mother-in-law care for you, she'd take the initiative to see how your day was.
4. TEARS YOU DOWN TO HER CHILD
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Not only does she make it a point to find something to complain about you, but she does it in front of your partner.
Your mother-in-law has nothing good to say about you and criticises your career, how you look, or even the fact that you're married to her child!
If your mother keeps doing this in front of your partner, then take time to talk with your spouse to get behind you. As a married couple, you're a team. That's basically what you vowed at your wedding!
If this happens in public frequently, ask your partner to be united with you. However, if your spouse has an issue with a behaviour you do or a specific way you speak to their mother, they should speak to you in private.
5. GIVES FAKE APOLOGIES
It might take you aback if your mother-in-law apologises for something. However, pay attention if it's "fake".
It can look like "I'm sorry you thought I was talking badly about your hobby."
She's not actually apologising, she's putting the blame on you for misunderstanding.
Sincere apologies are when your mother-in-law identifies the issue and wants to make amends.
6. 'THOUGHTFUL' GIFTS ARE UNDERHANDED DIGS
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For your birthday or to commemorate a special occasion, your mother-in-law might buy you something that seems very specific.
At first glance, it seems thoughtful. But when you speak with her further on why she bought it (or she might just offer her explanation regardless), you'll find out it's to fix problems she has issue with.
Skincare products or sets? She means you have horribly oily skin. A voucher for books? Maybe she thinks you're uneducated.
7. YOU'RE ALWAYS LEFT OUT OF FAMILY ACTIVITIES
Whether it's a family meal or someone's birthday, you always seem to have been left out of the memo.
If you feel your mother-in-law conveniently "forgets" to mention these events, chances are she really doesn't like you.
People show their true colours by how they act. It can be upsetting when you realise it. Mention it to your partner and see if they can mention it to your mother-in-law discreetly.
8. NO PHOTOS OF YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE IN HER HOME
It might seem old fashioned, but having photos around the house is a timeless feature. It's normal to see countless pictures of your partner and their family, celebrating younger birthdays or graduations.
If you notice there isn't a single photo of you and your spouse to be found anywhere, it's a likely sign your mother-in-law really doesn't like you!
Getting married is a huge milestone for anyone to meet. So it's bizarre to not find any pics of you and your partner hanging up on the wall or on the shelves.
9. SHE IGNORES YOU
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You thought ignoring people you don't like was behaviour from secondary school. But if your mother-in-law gives you the cold shoulder every time she sees you, she probably hates you.
It can be a bit tough to know if someone is outright ignoring you or didn't hear the first time.
If she's too busy playing on her phone or just doesn't respond to you while you're talking to her, then you've got your answer!
10.
UNDERMINES YOUR PARENTING DECISIONS
Your mother-in-law might think she's the expert. However, she can also be very controlling and constantly tell you how to be a parent to your kids.
Anything you do isn't good enough and she will insist her way is the only way to raise children.
Speak with your partner to set clear boundaries if this keeps happening.
Your mother-in-law's experience is definitely valuable, but not at the risk of overruling your role as the primary caregiver.
11. KEEPS YOU CLOSE ENOUGH TO PICK AT YOU
A subtle sign your mother-in-law hates you is when she doesn't openly criticise you.
Instead, she might drop a passive-aggressive comment in the middle of talking, and quickly move on.
It'll be so underhanded that you won't notice it if you weren't paying attention.
12. BACKHANDED COMPLIMENTS
Just like a fake apology, backhanded compliments are another tool your mother-in-law might use if she truly hates you.
"I didn't expect you to get the job! Congratulations!"
13. INSULTS YOU WHEN YOU'RE ALONE
On the other hand, if your mother-in-law doesn't like you then she will take the opportunity to tell you exactly what she thinks of you when you're left alone.
She may not do this in front of everyone else to save face for her child. But it's when you're talking to her one-to-one when it's least expected.
14. ALWAYS BRINGS UP YOUR SPOUSE'S EXES
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How do you know your mother-in-law doesn't think much of you? When she takes the opportunity to talk about your spouse's exes. Over and over again.
If your mother-in-law doesn't like you, she'll constantly draw comparisons to her child's previous partners and boast about how great they were.
Whether she's doing this intentionally or not is a different matter. However, if it makes you uncomfortable, speak with your spouse to see how you can tackle the issue together.
15. DISMISSES YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS
No matter what you do, it's still not enough in the eyes of someone who doesn't like you.
Whether you won an award at work, achieved the best employee performance, or noted a milestone breakthrough in your business's finances, your mother-in-law just refuses to be impressed.
In fact, she'll go one step further and do everything within her power to dismiss your feats and hard work.
16. MAKES NO ATTEMPT TO HAVE RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR SIDE OF THE FAMILY
When you marry into the family, your spouse's family became your own, and vice versa.
If your mother-in-law spurs any chance to meet your parents or nurture a friendly relationship with your family, it's a big sign that she isn't so keen on you.
17. REVEALS THE BAD THINGS YOUR SPOUSE HAS SAID ABOUT YOU
Children often confide in their parents no matter how old kids are.
However, if your mother-in-law shares your spouse's worries, concerns, or disappointments about you to your face, you can be sure she hates you.
This is a huge breach of confidentiality. But more so, she intentionally chose to relay information to sow seeds of doubt in your mind.
Speak with your spouse if this happens to you, as it's there's a breach of trust, as well as some seriously dodgy business going on to damage your marriage.
While you might hope you have a pleasant relationship with your in-laws, not everyone is able to maintain the peace (as much as they hope to). We hope that these pointers can help you better navigate the waters and hopefully, work out a plan on how to get along (or keep away) from your MIL to avoid further disagreements.
This article was first published in theAsianparent.
15 Signs Your Mother-In-Law Hates You
Life
New Line Cinemas
by Jill Di Donato
Nope, you're not crazy. Though it might be a hard reality to stomach it, the signs that your mother-in-law hates you are real.
Maybe your mother-in-law is a judgmental, nosy parker. Maybe she has no sense of boundaries. Or maybe she's just mean. Speaking from experience, I can say this situation is the pits. I would get anxiety attacks before hanging out with my ex's mom, who most definitely hated me. She made me feel like a defensive mess, and this dynamic took its toll on my relationship with her son. And I'm not alone. According to Psychology Today, a nasty mother-in-law situation can not only complicate a romantic relationship, it can destroy it.
But you can also take the high road and try and to show some empathy towards your mother-in-law, even when she hates you. The same Psychology Today article urges you to consider where your mother-inlaw is coming from and to practice calm assertion with even the meanest mothers-in-law. Don't try and analyze her behavior, though it might help to talk to a professional as I did to learn how to cope without your relationship suffering as a result.
Maybe your mother-in-law can't offer you the relationship of your dreams, but it's what you're working with. So, before you try to live with a nasty mother-in-law, see if your mother-in-law displays any of the following signs. If she does, she probably does hate you. Sorry.
1
She Gives You The Backhanded Compliment
A sneaky way to insult someone is the backhanded compliment. You might not even pick up on the fact that you're being insulted. But when you do, it really hurts. Nasty stuff.
2
She Pulls An Under-The-Breath Zinger
Everyone else has left the room but you and your mother-in-law, so she takes this opportunity to say something subtly rude or even nasty. Mother-in-laws who do not like you might not insult you in front of the entire family because she might feel like you are taking her child away from her, family psychologist Susan Newman wrote in Psychology Today. If this is the case, she might want to knock you off your game while she puts up a calm and collected front.
3
She Shows No Interest In Your Job
Whether you're a stay-at-home mom, run an internet start-up or cobble together an income from doing any number of things, your job is a big part of your identity. After all, you spend the majority of your day working. Anyone who cares about you, cares about how you spend your time, and in an ideal world, that should include your mother-in-law.
4
She Buys You Gifts To "Fix Your Flaws"
My ex-mother-in-law was constantly buying me skincare products for my oily skin. She would even point out new blemishes. Helpful, not so much. I'm a grown-ass woman, I can manage my skincare regime, thank you.
5
She "Forgets" To Include You In Family Activities
Oops, the so-called unintentional exclusion might make you feel like you're crazy. It's designed to make you feel unwelcome. Family get-togethers are supposed to be fun, noted Psychology Today, and should not make you feel victimized.
Remember, people reveal who they are by how they choose to act.
6
She Excludes You From Family Events
More pronounced than the neglected invite, if your mother-in-law excludes you from family events, not only is this a sign she doesn't like you, it's downright hurtful and rude. Family Life noted that when your mother-in-law excludes you, it might be because you're the woman who knows him best now, a title she once held.
7
She Doesn't Have Any Pictures Of You And Your Partner In Her House
Unless you're living under a rock, you know that in this day and age, everyone has photos of everything. If you're married, there should definitely be a photograph of you and your spouse in your mother-in-law's house. You may have even given her one after the wedding. What's not acceptable? Pictures of your partner's ex front on the hearth. Uncool.
8
She Says Things That Encourage Your Self-Doubt
One of the most hurtful things anyone can do to you is encourage your self-doubt.
Huffington Post revealed the nastiest things mother-in-laws said to their daughters-in-law, and this was at the top of the list.
9
She Raves About Your Partner's Exes
Subtle much? I think not. It's ridiculously rude to rave about your partner's exes. And also a sign that your mother-in-law has an axe to grind with you. Dr. Daniel Tomasulo at PsychCentral confirmed it's a sign of disrespect if a mother-in-law won't let go of your partner's exes. The best thing you can do is not let it bother you. You could also call her bluff and tell her she's hurting your feelings, Tomasulo recommended.
10
She Undermines You
This is especially painful if you have kids, and your mother-in-law undermines your parenting choices. Parents noted this is a sign your mother-in-law not only has no sense of boundaries (yikes), but also is resentful of you (double yikes).
11
She Belittles Your Accomplishments
You know that parent who you can never please? Not so fun when it's your mother-in-law.
When my ex-mother-in-law belittled my accomplishments, I tried to tell myself it was because she felt badly about her own. That's called projection, according to Psychology Today, and the worst part about projection, is that if you're vulnerable, you might believe that what your nasty mother-in-law is saying about you is something you can't even see.
12
She Insults Your Ethnic Heritage
According to Time, some mothers-in-law might feel like their heritage might get lost on the future generation if you don't do things exactly how she did them as a wife in her day. Although that's understandable, it's no reason for her to insult your heritage. That's just rude and a cheap shot.
13
She Makes No Attempts To Forge Relationships With Your Family
You guys are all family, and as such your mother-in-law should get to know yours. The blending of families is what happens when clans connect. If yours don't, that's a sign something's not so cool between y'all.
14
She Tells You Things That Your Spouse Has Said About You
Not only is this a sign your mother-in-law doesn't like you, but breeching confidence is a sign of weak boundaries, according to Psychology Today.
15
She Challenges You At Every Chance
If she admonishes you in public, it's time for your partner to step in. The Washington Post noted that sometimes, it's necessary for your partner to align with you to establish the primacy of your family. Public chastisement is intended to take you down and humiliate you. There's no other way to read that one. So, while you're a grown-ass woman who can take care of yourself, it's not weird to want your partner to have your back on this one.
Why the mother-in-law does not love you: we understand the reasons
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been considered a sensitive topic for centuries, and for good reason. For some, the mother-in-law can become a close friend, while for others she will remain a sworn enemy.
You choose your husband and get his relatives as an addition. Whether you like it or not depends on how you decide to treat it from the very beginning. Do not forget that for your mother-in-law, her son is the most beautiful, smart, capable and simply the best of the best. Therefore, it may be difficult for her to accept that her boy has grown up and acquired a personal life.
How to understand that your mother-in-law does not love you
Women sometimes find it difficult to get along together because of excessive emotionality. And the phrase “mother-in-law + daughter-in-law” is not in vain that most people evoke not the most pleasant associations. It would seem that you do not do any bad things, do not interfere in the relationship between mother and son, but your mother-in-law may think differently.
Probably, on a subconscious level, she considers you the main competitor, competing with you in absolutely everything - from cooking to all-consuming care for her son.
Below are a few reasons why a mother-in-law might be unhappy with her daughter-in-law.
- She points out your mistakes in the presence of your son. This is how the mother-in-law tries to show her son that no one is able to truly take care of him, except for herself. Usually a woman "presses" on cooking, cleaning, and even on "improperly" ironed clothes.
- She often comes to visit you. The mother-in-law thinks that her son's house is her territory, where she can do whatever she wants. With her often repeated visits, she may try to lead her daughter-in-law into a conflict in which the blame will be entirely on your side.
- She suspects you of infidelity. Sometimes the mother-in-law can put pressure on such an instrument as your innocence. More precisely, its absence (from its point of view). Such a mother-in-law can put pressure on her son by mentioning that he is not the first with the girl, thereby hinting that now, perhaps, your spouse is not the only one with you.
- She is not happy with the situation of her daughter-in-law. Here an attack by the mother-in-law can be indicated depending on what position you take in life. Such a mother-in-law will never miss an opportunity to make you "extreme". You either earn little or almost no time for your husband. There is no third.
- She compares you to her son's previous passions. When you have a guest, such a mother-in-law will not miss the opportunity to tell you about some friend of hers, who will surpass you in all respects. She is both smart and beautiful, who was once in love with her son, and for sure still loves him. And waiting. And he is a fool, he chose the wrong one.
How do you get along with your spouse's family if you are not loved?
Do not forget that you are marrying the man you love, not his family. But it is not uncommon for relations between lovers to deteriorate due to constant squabbles and omissions with the mother-in-law.
The main thing here is to remain calm and not succumb to possible provocations that could end in a serious conflict.
Why the mother-in-law does not love her daughter-in-law: possible reasons
A mother is always attached to her child, and often considers her son the main man in her life, especially if the woman’s personal life for one reason or another did not work out. Because of this, as soon as the “same one” appears in the son’s life with which he is ready to connect his life, the mother does not want to give him to another woman. Sometimes she tries to upset their life together, but why? Everything can happen for a reason:
- jealousy. The son leaves her company, which is a kind of loss for her. It also happens that people sometimes cannot look at things soberly, because of their emotionality. Here the same thing: often the mother-in-law can find fault with the daughter-in-law from scratch. And emotions are to blame for everything and the fact that it can be difficult for a woman to come to terms with a sense of loss;
- excessive exaggeration of merit.
Every mother wants her child to have all the best. The same rule applies to finding a chosen one for life. The mother may, on a subconscious level, repel all her son's companions, because she believes that they are unworthy of him; - biological cause. At the time when your mother-in-law's children grow up and decide to start a family, the woman's body undergoes some changes. Hormonal surges that affect her behavior and mood are the most striking example of this. Therefore, excessive pickiness and grouchiness can be explained by biological changes that she is not able to control.
What mistakes do you make in your relationship with your mother-in-law?
Perhaps a mistake in your relationship with your mother-in-law may also come from your side. Below is a list of what may seem normal to you, although in reality it still costs a little to “slow down”.
1. You are competing
You must not share your husband with your mother-in-law.
It is not a "trophy" that you won from the previous owner. He is a grown man who has chosen you as his life partner. His mother knows him from the first days of his life and there will always be a special place for her in the heart of your man. Understand it. And do not waste time and energy, proving your main and importance in the life of your chosen one. You are both important, but on different levels. You are his beloved woman and the mother of his (future) children, while the mother-in-law is the mother who raised and cared for him. There is no point in competing, because both you and your mother-in-law can never take each other's places. Learn good diplomacy.
2. You let strangers into your territory
This is not about a room or an apartment as a whole, to which no one has access without your permission, although this is an important point. This is about your personal space with your husband, into which not a single person dares to look. For a mother who has not yet let go of her “son”, the idea that she might not be welcome if she suddenly comes to visit without warning is unthinkable.
Therefore, at first you may encounter the fact that your mother-in-law will be indignant at why her opinion was not asked and not taken into account in this or that issue. What should you do in this situation? Start building your family boundaries. It is difficult, but without it, you will not have any personal space, which means constant control from the mother-in-law. These are calls in the middle of the night, and the demand for attention to yourself and scandals over trifles.
3. You will develop rules under pressure from others
After marriage, you and your spouse begin to create your own rules, creating your own microclimate, and your task as a wife is to ensure that your mother-in-law does not interfere in this process. Making serious decisions, budgeting - all this you should decide only with your husband. It is possible that your mother-in-law will try to invade these boundaries with her advice, but it is better not to give in on this issue. The winning tactic is to listen to her and end up doing what you and your spouse think.
Dedicate less to her in personal matters.
4. You expect your mother-in-law to be on your side
The golden rule: the less you wait, the more you get, works here too. Do not be fooled by your husband's stories that his mother will definitely love you like her own daughter. You must understand that the mother-in-law also has her own fantasies and expectations about you. Most likely, she wants you to be able to bake pies, give birth to 3-4 grandchildren at once and agree with her in every possible way and not argue with her. But instead, she can get a busy modern woman who does not have time to cook and the desire to immediately acquire offspring. As you can see, the first inconsistency is already brewing.
Don't blame your mother-in-law for not liking you. She is a person just like you, with her inherent flaws. Her understanding of the "ideal wife" may look a little different than what you are. But you may also want your mother-in-law to be different. Wise, respectful of the feelings of others so that you can rely on her.
So learn to accept the real mother-in-law and say goodbye to the fantasy, unreal image.
5. You take conflicts on your shoulders
If your mother-in-law is one of those who loves scandals and squabbles, keep in mind that the husband's mother, first of all, is not your problem, but your husband's problem. And he should not put it on your shoulders. Do not let your spouse remain silent and withdraw in some important situations in the family. For example, with the same decision, the mother-in-law will come to visit you for several days without warning. You don't have to play the bad cop as long as the husband is the mother's favorite son. He is a mature man, and since he decided to start a family and unite your lives, then the presence of his mother there is not entirely necessary. So, you must protect family values and boundaries together.
6. You make a monster out of your mother-in-law
So, you have not received the mother-in-law you dreamed of, now you have to learn how to communicate with the real one.
Do not rush to declare that you will never get along with her, fate loves to surprise. We advise you to start with yourself and look for a place in your heart for gratitude. After all, this woman raised and raised your spouse, she is the (future) grandmother of your children, so try to find positive qualities in her. Do not focus on its negative aspects, this will not make you feel better.
7. You hide behind your husband
The age when you could hide behind someone else's back is long gone. And in case of any conflicts with the mother-in-law, do not make the spouse an intermediary. Solve the problem directly. We strongly advise you not to involve your husband in your relationship with your mother-in-law and not to allow your mother-in-law to do this. Don't complain to your husband. After all, if the mother-in-law complains about you, and you about her, you will only get an irritated spouse, who in the end can distance himself from both.
Whatever the relationship, they will always require work on themselves and require bestowal.
Otherwise, they stop developing and collapse occurs. Everyone has their own experience of communicating with the mother-in-law, and universal advice like “love her” or “accept her” may not quite work. Treat her with respect and gratitude, and ask for the same treatment for yourself. Try to find time for her in your busy schedule and you may find it easier to find common ground.
Why does my mother-in-law dislike my children (her grandchildren)?
Grandchildren are often “second children” for grandmothers, but there may be exceptions. The mother-in-law can treat her son's grandchildren with some kind of indifference, and for her daughter's children she can be the best grandmother in the world. Why does the mother-in-law act like this? For her, some grandchildren are relatives, while others are not quite? Such inequality is explained at the biological level. Often the daughter's children are perceived as relatives, because they are the blood and flesh of the family. But with the grandchildren on the part of the son, things are a little different. It is possible that the mother-in-law may doubt whose child this is. She cannot be completely sure that the children born are the offspring of the seed of their "breed".
How to improve relations with your mother-in-law or restore neutrality
If it so happened that your relationship with your mother-in-law is far from ideal, then at least try for the sake of your husband to start taking the first steps towards reconciliation. Learn to find a common language with your spouse's mother, accept the idea that your paths are now inseparable. A few tips below will help you have a "great" contact with your husband's mother:
- listen to her advice. At least at the moment when she is next to you. By following her "instructions", you show her your respect, and she will clearly appreciate it;
- calmly respond to all comments addressed to you. Mother-in-law may try to bring you into conflict in order to show your son your inadequacy.
Play by her rules: smile and gratefully accept all the comments addressed to you, and over time she will just get tired of it; - ask her opinion. It's up to you to ask, but it's not necessary to do what she says. It is important here that she feel that you are really interested in her opinion;
- offer your help. If you are visiting your mother-in-law, then try to offer her help in doing chores. Feel free to ask for help, let her give you a real "master class". Pamper her ego, she needs it.
Whatever your relationship with your mother-in-law, don't make things worse. Listen to her advice, ask for help and be interested in her opinion on any occasion. Sometimes you have to give up your own principles, but you do all this only for the well-being of your family.
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Not mother-daughters: signs that the mother-in-law does not like her daughter-in-law | Lifestyle
With any luck, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be like that of a loving mother and daughter.
But most often between these two women there is a real abyss. In real life, mothers-in-law often have high hopes for women who marry their sons. They have a well-formed image of an ideal wife in their heads. Everything is written there, from the values that the daughter-in-law promotes to her appearance. Unfortunately, all these expectations are difficult to meet.
If you suspect that your sparkling doesn't like you, you probably can't be accused of being paranoid. Most likely, your intuition does not deceive you. Want to know for sure? There are some clear signs that your boyfriend's mother really doesn't like you very much.
Suspicions
In families in which it is not customary to talk to each other, people independently guess about the motives and feelings of another person. Sometimes suspicions are born from scratch and are completely groundless. However, intuition is the most powerful tool that can lead you to the truth. Therefore, if you have a persistent feeling that your mother-in-law does not love you, this is probably not far from the truth.
Thinking about why she might be nice to you can bring clarity to the situation. She probably does not share your beliefs or was brought up in different traditions.
She often talks about her ex-sister-in-law
No one wants to go through these humiliating comparisons with beautiful ex-sisters-in-law. But if these two (your spouse and his ex) really loved each other so much, then why did they break up? Perhaps everything was not so rosy, and the mother-in-law, talking about the wonderful qualities of the former daughter-in-law, just wants to annoy you.
If you notice that these stories happen on a regular basis, it's time to tell your partner about it. After all, if you keep thoughts and emotions to yourself, this is unlikely to help solve the problem.
Too much criticism
Some people themselves are too fond of criticizing others. Therefore, they will give advice to all their acquaintances and will definitely find a reason to find fault with something.
But what if only you become the object of criticism?
Your mother-in-law will miss nothing, from your professional ambitions to your cooking skills. What to do in this situation? First, talk to your partner and talk about the status quo. Ask him for support, this is necessary for a happy and harmonious relationship in the family.
If your spouse plays a card called "figure it out for yourself", express your dissatisfaction. He cannot remain neutral when his soulmate is subjected to undeserved criticism. Even if he does not agree with you, in public he must show his determination to defend your honor. But behind closed doors, he can tell you whatever he wants.
Ignoring
Not a single daughter-in-law will leave this unattended: mother-in-law's addresses begin with verbs, but the name is completely absent in them. This tactic may seem prehistoric, but it indicates an overt dislike. When people dislike a new member of their family, they will prefer to pretend that this person is an empty place.
I experienced something similar when former relatives chose to make decisions about family trips, investing money, or large purchases without my knowledge. Thus, the ex-husband and his mother showed me that they did not consider it necessary to consult with me and only put me before the fact. When I asked for an explanation, they threw the catchphrase in my direction: "it will be better for everyone."
Passive aggression
Dislike is very often passive-aggressive. If the mother-in-law does not love you, she will deliberately set you up for failure: "Why do you want to change jobs? Nothing will work out for you in a new place." This tactic is commonly used by manipulators who practice emotional abuse and do not want anyone in the family to achieve great heights.
She is not interested in your life
Asking questions and showing interest in another person is a simple and painless way to let the other person know that you care about them. If your mother-in-law is never interested in your life, this may confirm your initial fears.
If this woman initially did not want to accept you, deliberate coldness may indicate envy of your achievements. She does not want to hear about your promotion once again just because her position at this moment is less stable.
She keeps you at a distance
This woman may be chatty and friendly to other people, but when you enter the room, she may change her face and cut off her phrase in mid-sentence. From the outside it seems childish, but in reality your mother-in-law wants to use all the levers to maintain her influence.
She apologizes without apologizing
Some people have become adept at turning situations inside out. For example, after an argument, a mother-in-law might say to her daughter-in-law something like, "I'm sorry you could think of treating yourself like that."
She doesn't actually apologize for the insults or suffering, but accuses her daughter-in-law of misunderstanding. Remember that by making a sincere apology, the person takes responsibility for the role they played in the incident.
