Signs people are jealous
How to Spot the Signs of Jealousy or Envy
Written by WebMD Editorial Contributors
In this Article
- What Is Jealousy and Envy?
- Signs of Jealousy and Envy
- Living With Jealous or Envious Thoughts
You may have heard people describe someone as “green with envy.” This phrase dates back to the ancient Greeks, who believed jealousy could trigger bile production and turn skin slightly green, a sign of sickness. Jealousy is sometimes referred to as “a green-eyed monster.” It was Shakespeare’s character Iago that first muttered the phrase in Othello.
Although many people use the words “jealousy” and “envy” interchangeably, there is a difference between them. What is that difference, and how can you tell if you or someone you know is experiencing them? Learn the differences and steps to take if you’re in a situation around jealousy or envy.
What Is Jealousy and Envy?
Envy is wanting what someone else has. You might see a neighbor with a new car or a coworker get a new job and desire the same. You might feel a sense of resentment toward the individual for attaining something you want but have yet to achieve.
Jealousy is more about holding onto something you already have. You might experience jealousy in a relationship when you perceive a threat or worry that the relationship is changing in a negative way.
While these emotions are easy to define and often easy to recognize, they can be difficult to control.
Signs of Jealousy and Envy
Jealousy is typically thought of in terms of relationships, especially with partners. Envy is more associated with desiring what someone else has or has achieved.
Signs of Jealousy
Trust is an important aspect of any relationship. When you are feeling jealous, a lack of trust can lead to negative thoughts. Signs that you might be jealous are:
- You don’t trust your partner when you’re not together.
- You get concerned when they mention other people.
- You constantly check their social media to see what they’re doing.
- You think they’re cheating on you.
- You’re attempting to control your partner’s behavior.
If you’re the target of jealousy, you may feel like someone (usually a partner or friend) is trying to control your life. They might do things such as check up on you, try to tell you what to do (or not do) and how to act, or limit your contact with friends and coworkers.
Signs of Envy
Healthy competition between people can be good, but when you’re feeling unhappy when others achieve success or feel the need to constantly one-up their accomplishments, you may be experiencing envy. Signs of envy include:
- You aren’t happy for others when they achieve success.
- Another person’s success makes you feel unhappy.
- You feel the need to diminish someone else’s success.
- You judge others negatively.
- You’re happy when others face setbacks.
The rise of social media has been documented to trigger envy and lower mental well-being in some people.
As friends post pictures of their best moments in life, it can trigger feelings of inadequacy or regret in others. These can be powerful emotions.
Living With Jealous or Envious Thoughts
Just about everyone feels jealous or envious once in a while. However, when these emotions start to become overwhelming, it can trigger concerns about inadequacy or feeling ill will toward others. It can also bring about symptoms of stress. In some cases, it can lead to depression in some cases.
Extreme Jealousy Can Be a Cause for Concern
Extreme jealousy is listed as one of the warning signs of domestic violence and abuse. If you’re the target of intimidation in a relationship or worried about your partner becoming angry or violent, get to a safe place and then reach out for help.
Use These Emotions in a Positive Way
As difficult as it might be to believe, jealousy and envy can also have a positive impact. When you recognize jealous or envious feelings, it can be a sign that you need to change.
For example, if you want that new car, you may realize you need to make changes in your spending or savings habits to get it. If you’re jealous of a coworker because they have a better relationship with the boss and you worry that may impact your job, you might try to develop your relationship with your manager.
Practice Gratitude
When you’re feeling these strong emotions, it can help to pause for a moment and reflect on the positive things in your life. Gratitude can mitigate these emotions and help you overcome any negative feelings by recognizing the positive things in your life.
It’s not uncommon to have these feelings. Almost everybody has tinges of jealousy or feels envious from time to time. Recognizing the signs of jealousy and envy can help you control your emotions so they don’t escalate or negatively impact your life.
If you’re starting to feel like jealousy or envy are affecting your mood or you’re worried about the consequences of these feelings, talk to your doctor.
How To Tell If Someone Is Jealous Of You – 14 Signs
Jealousy is a relationship-killer. The signs of jealousy are not always prominent. Sometimes, you cannot understand why a person is being mean to you. One of the reasons could be jealousy. If you have been doing good in life, are successful, rich, or famous, or have something that someone else wants, they could become jealous. Jealousy is not a pleasant feeling. Unfortunately, it is an emotion that we all experience. If you think someone is jealous, figure out what is triggering it. Learn to spot the signs to deal with them. This article lists the common signs of jealousy. Read on!
In This Article
How To Tell If Someone Is Jealous Of You
Image: Shutterstock
1. Jealous People Ply You With Insincere Compliments And False Praises
One thing that jealous people never want to admit is that they are jealous of you. When good news comes in, they do the sneaky thing by acting overly supportive and giving you insincere compliments.
Once they are in the clear, the claws come out.
An insecure person would praise you when you are in front of them but would tell lies or gossip about you behind your back. This is passive-aggressive behaviori XA type of behavior in which one avoids direct communication and prefers subtle expression of negative emotions. . Be careful of such people; they are two-faced. In fact, you hardly stand any chance of exposing their real nature. That is why you should always pay close attention to what you confide in others. Check in with your buddies if you feel someone has been talking trash about you behind your back.
When someone is jealous of you, they often pause for a long silent moment before congratulating you or telling you that you have done a great job. That reaction is caused due to their secret envy of your success.
2. Jealous People Are Excellent Copycats
Although some people believe that copycat behavior is often a sign of flattery, it is not always the case, psychologists tell us.
Someone who is envious of you may also try to mimic your behavior and imitate every single thing you do. They could go as far as copying hairstyles, dressing, walking, and talking the same way you do. Even if you find it flattering at first, sooner or later, it will start to get really irritating. The best you can do in this situation is to try not to pay a lot of attention to the copycat.
Jealous people are obsessed with what you have – and they want it. For jealous individuals, it is like a game of “who wore it better.” Expect those people to imitate you in many different ways. If you often get all the attention, they will imitate your fashion style and add their own little flair to it. If you are a good dancer, they may take up dance classes as well. It can seem like a good thing if they behave this way, but they are actually just obsessing over you. It is most likely that they don’t even like you or the things they copy from you.
3. They Flaunt Their Successes, Often More Than Their Actual Merit
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While you may be too humble to voice or enjoy your achievements, jealous people often try to make themselves feel better by drowning out your achievements by overemphasizing their own.
This will happen even if their achievements are way smaller in comparison to yours.
Most often, when jealous people achieve success in anything, they will try to make the whole world aware of it. They will openly flaunt their successes. Usually, people who behave this way are extremely envious of others’ achievements and are terribly insecure. They would do anything and everything to prove that they are worth at least as much, if not more.
4. Jealous People Deliberately Give Bad Advice
Since jealous people don’t want you to add more achievements to your kitty, they sabotage your attempts purposely by giving you bad advice. Or they may just simply discourage you from even trying.
Remember, what they truly want in life is for you to fail. If you ask someone who is jealous of you for advice about a problem, they may deliberately give you bad advice. The logic is, if they are already jealous of you right now, they are not likely to tell you how you can do better.
They may even make it their life’s mission to discourage you from trying new things. If you are excited about a plan you made, they will be the first one to point out any conceivable flaws in it, just to deflate your dream balloon.
5. Jealous People Love To Dish The Dirt On You
Research has shown that people who gossip a lot have very high levels of aggression, anxiety, or are immensely unhappy. They gossip more than others because they want to feel superior even though they are extremely insecure about themselves. They aren’t, in fact, confident in themselves.
People who are jealous of you could try to ruin your reputation by spreading false rumors or making negative comments about you to others. Jealous people are often non-confrontational. They may even come across as super-friendly; they fight their fight against you underhandedly. They will downplay your achievements, spread malicious gossip about you, or just talk crap regarding you behind your back.
6.
They Are Very CompetitiveAs we mentioned before, it is a jealous person’s nature to try to outdo you in every way possible. They want to steal all the glory – not because they think that you don’t deserve it, but because they know you do and this makes them feel inadequate. Due to this, they are extremely competitive (1), especially if it is at the workplace. They will go to any lengths to exceed the efforts you make.
While it could be extremely tempting to confront them, you need to refuse to make the competition unhealthy. Refusing to be a part of their cat and mouse game will make them less likely to try to compete with you. Do your best to foster an environment of cooperation and collaboration instead of competing.
7. Jealous People Will Criticize You
Have you ever met someone who criticizes you at every chance they get? Does it almost seem like they look forward to it? Yes, it is very likely that this person harbors jealousy towards you.
An average person will drop some criticism at you at some point, but jealous people will make a career out of it.
They will point out your mistakes every chance they get and enjoy doing it. They may even do so in the most inappropriate of times and embarrass you in public.
8. Jealous People Tend To Cross Their Legs
According to a body language expert, a person may cross their legs for a lot of reasons. This is quite a common reaction when one feels threatened and insecure and also when they are jealous of somebody or about something.
If your “buddy” instinctively crosses their legs every time you share your achievement with them, it could be a signal that they actually envy you.
Quick Tip
Some of the other signs you could look out for include tending to turn away from you or being overtly close by excessively hugging or touching you.
9. Jealous People Celebrate Your Failures
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Of course, jealous people will not do something obvious like breaking into a victory dance when your boss scolds you for a mistake. But darling, count on it, deep inside, they will be really happy at your fall and celebrate your failures.
They will be in an unusually good mood once they learn of your failure, and then they will pretend to be friendly and offer fake consolation just to ply more info from you.
10. Jealous People Are Great Plan-Spoilers
A sign that someone is jealous of you is that they will happily give you bad news on the pretext that they are helping you or doing you a favor. For example, you have decided to go to a picnic. Upon sharing your plan with your “friend,” they will instantly tell you that it is surely going to rain for the next few days. They will say the first thing that comes to their mind to create doubt in yours. Pay attention if your “friend” says or does something that could potentially spoil your plans or make you worry about negative possibilities.
11. They Will Humiliate You In Front Of Other People
Image: Shutterstock
Jealous people jump at every chance they get to criticize you or downplay your achievements. One great way to do that is by humiliating you in front of other people.
What do they really achieve from this? They want to establish their standing as a superior person. Secondly, they try to reduce your credibility by dramatizing the entire thing in front of others. It’s a complete win-win situation for them; or so they think. Smart observers see the truth in this dynamic.
12. They Hate You For No Reason At All
Jealous people rarely admit that they are jealous of you because it will inevitably add to their insecurity. Hence, they will hate you. Jealousy is a slow poison that destroys relationships. That is why it should be avoided as much as possible.
13. They Try To Downplay Your Achievements
Image: Shutterstock
The biggest pet peeve of a jealous person is when the person they are jealous of continues to achieve success. When this occurs, they want to soothe their egos and make themselves feel better by downplaying that person’s success. They do this by associating the achievements to things other than their skill.
That is why it is typical for these types of people to say things like – “She got that promotion because she oils the boss,” or “He has got connections with the manager.
” They will absolutely refuse to admit that you actually earned your success.
14. They Are Almost Absent During Your Moments Of Success
The last thing a jealous person desires is to be present at a get-together celebrating the success of another person. Not only does this make them extremely uncomfortable, but it also increases their sense of insecurity tenfold. A jealous person is always giving excuses to avoid moments like this. They will just disappear before you get a chance to ask them to join in the festivities.
Quick Tip
Watch out for their social media behavior. Jealous people tend to avoid liking or commenting on your post but may dish out their love for other people. However, this observation may be invalid if they are not active on social media.
Jealousy is an emotion that we all experience, some more than others. It is a natural human feeling, and, in little doses, jealousy isn’t something we should be overly ashamed about. If we utilize this emotion positively, it can make us re-evaluate our lives and find out exactly why we are experiencing these feelings.
It can make us find out about what it is that we are actually missing that is making us feel this way about someone else. It can inspire us to work hard and attain goals ourselves.
However, an inherently jealous person is quite different from someone who occasionally experiences jealousy. The former is hard to be around as they may keep affecting you through their negativity. They may act unkindly and make the good things in your life look bad and undesirable. So, you should keep an eye out for such people as cutting them out of your life at the earliest is the best course of action.
If you find someone’s behavior exhausting and think it could be jealousy, look out for these signs. They should help you protect yourself better.
Frequently Asked Questions
What happens when you feel jealous?
You may have intrusive violent thoughts and urges when you feel jealous. This is because your mind is flooded with resentment toward that person.
How do you handle a jealous person?
The best way to deal with a jealous person is to ignore them.
In time, they will learn to process their feelings and move on. If the person who is jealous of you is someone you hold dear, have an open conversation with them about their feelings toward you. You may find out that they are going through a rough patch in their life and need your support to get through it.
Key Takeaways
- Dealing with an inherently jealous person can be exhausting or emotionally draining.
- Jealous people may try to undermine your success by falsely lauding you, criticizing you, or downplaying your hard work.
- Protect yourself from negative emotions that could arise as a result of jealousy by identifying the signs early on.
Articles on StyleCraze are backed by verified information from peer-reviewed and academic research papers, reputed organizations, research institutions, and medical associations to ensure accuracy and relevance. Read our editorial policy to learn more.
- The Evolutionary Psychology of Envy and Jealousy
https://www.
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5609545/
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- Reviewer
- Author
State Autonomous Institution of Social Services of the Sverdlovsk Region "Comprehensive Center for Social Services for the Population of the Achitsky District"
When we hear the phrase "envy white envy" addressed to someone , this does not bother us at all, but when such an expression is addressed in our direction , this immediately begins to strain somewhat, and somehow the question itself arises, is this white envy really so white?
The fact that our acquaintances envy us indicates that that everything is fine with us and we have something that other people want to have. But, as a rule, the envy of other people causes some anxiety and anxiety in us, and somehow a certain suspicion suddenly begins to creep in that all good things are about to end and everything will change dramatically, far from for the better.
It doesn't matter whether a person believes or not that the look of another can really bring trouble , one way or another, the very word "jinxed" causes anxiety and a bad feeling. Plus, it is known what real nasty things can be expected from a person who is jealous all the time.
1. You hear insincere compliments
The first thing people do when they envy you is to scatter compliments that can sound different: both sincerely and with secret malice. But, for example, as soon as you leave the room, such people will immediately start rolling their eyes.
In all likelihood, people who are jealous will pretend not to envy you at all, but they will never say it out loud or show their emotions. In this situation, there is one very good way that helps a lot. It is necessary to praise the envious person himself when something really began to work out for him. This behavior of yours will somehow curb the feelings of an envious person and help people see you as a sincere and good person.
You should never seriously consider the words of envious people in order to understand whether it is flattery or sincerity, because secret intentions towards you can be hidden behind them. So, you can minimize the fact that seemingly sincere compliments of these people can actually turn into duplicity.
2. Envious people flaunt their success
People who envy you usually start flaunting their success themselves, and usually to a greater extent than it really is. These people start showing off even more at the very moment when you celebrate your achievement. It usually happens that it is at your wedding that they announce their engagement. Why are these people doing this? Most likely because they are not as successful as you.
3. Your achievements are not taken seriously
effort, as if you were just lucky.
It is commonly believed that people who are envious of others usually really need what exactly the envy is aimed at. And it’s better not to follow their lead, so as not to provoke negative conversations about your personality. Do not lose confidence and better control yourself. In front of people who may envy or already envy you, you should not stick out your success, as this can only increase negative emotions towards you.
4. When envious people rejoice at your defeats
When something doesn't work out and doesn't turn out the way you wanted, your envious people begin to experience real joy from it. In fact, these people carefully hide these emotions of theirs, but they are very satisfied in their souls with this position of yours.
You need to learn to be calm about your mistakes. And you can always answer your envious people that we all learn from our mistakes. It is important not to show your frustration in any way so that people who envy you cannot enjoy your defeats.
5. When you are hated for no reason
If you feel that you are hated for no reason, then you are definitely envied. And it can be a very difficult test to realize that you are hated because of envy.
You may even want to please your opponent, but most likely you will not succeed. In fact, such a person should simply be deleted from your life. Try to surround yourself with only those people who carry positive emotions. You absolutely do not need all this negativity, and probably these people themselves are not happy with such unjustified negativity towards others, so just let them go.
6. Behind your back constantly gossip
Envious people secretly always try to discuss you and your behavior in every detail. And actually, it's not funny at all, because they can spread very bad rumors about you. You can confront them directly in order to stop these people.
As a rule, people who spread rumors behind your back out of jealousy are actually not hostile towards you, and therefore one serious conversation can sometimes be enough for them to stop spreading gossip about you.
7. When you start to compete
Envy people are constantly in a struggle for leadership, because their pursuit of success is actually permanent. Such people may even be dangerous, or they may be too arrogant and want to appear better than others.
You may want to put your envious person in his place. If he tries to argue with you about a promotion, try to tell him that you are not competing with him. After all, such people immediately lose interest in competing with you as soon as you stop following their lead.
8. When people start imitating you
People who most often experience feelings of envy try subconsciously to seem better than you and start imitating you in every possible way. These people feel better only when they completely copy your style of dress or manner of communication.
Don't feel bad about it, rather try to inspire such people to go their own way. And at that moment, when they try to do something on their own, encourage them in every possible way. Try to show them that it is not necessary to imitate you in order to be yourself.
9. Inconsistencies in behavior
When people around you begin to show obvious insincerity towards you or violent emotionality that is usually not characteristic of a person, a discrepancy between spoken words and body movements, as well as a clear contradiction of gestures and facial expressions, then it is worth thinking about the reasons for this behavior and about ways to protect against negative energy.
Boomerang method
We must remember that our own intentions and thoughts are reflected in the world around us. And the more you send positive energies into it, the more good will come back for you. Never succumb to the provocations of the anger of envious people - you need to protect your soul and mind from the destruction of negative energy. And what they experience in relation to you, let them stay with them.
Ways to protect yourself from envy
In order to calmly get rid of negativity in the future and restore the protective energy shell, envy and various diseases can be prevented. It is worth remembering that even an inadvertently spoken word of an envious person can disrupt the lifestyle of an unprotected person.
Important rules:
1. Never tell about your plans.
2. Try to share some of his joyful events only with those people whom you definitely trust.
3. Never advertise some important, recently started business until it is completed.
4. Try to avoid scandals and quarrels with people around you.
5. In order not to become a victim of an envious person , try to distribute any information about yourself as little as possible, and also do not share your happiness. You cannot imagine how much people envy you at the moment when your eyes shine with happiness.
6. Not everyone knows that there is a sensual mind and not everyone can develop it within themselves. If we release our emotions, they can change the world around us. First of all, this applies to those people who can lead to enormous destruction with their mental message alone. And therefore, try to behave in such a way that the people around you do not get annoyed by your statements, then you will not receive energy lightning with an evil message in response.
7. The most unprotected place of a person is the back , so try not to turn this place towards an unfriendly person. Evil words that are spoken in the back can break through energy protection and harm you.
8. Make it a rule never to judge other people behind their backs , because if they find out about it, then it is not known yet what kind of energy force you can receive from it.
9. Try to forgive your enemies. After all, when you forgive them, powerful protection at the energy level comes into play. Remember, opponents will surely return their own thoughts with a wish for evil, and a blessing will return for you. This has actually been tested for centuries, the main thing is that you need to forgive people with all your heart.
10. Wear mirror jewelry. Ordinary glasses with clear lenses have the ability to avoid an unkind look and help to keep their energy. Mirrored earrings and pendants worn by girls are able to remove negativity and send it back to the one who sent it.
Conclusion:
One must always remember that there is no person who would be loved by everyone without exception, and no one would envy him. The more mature and successful a person becomes, the more likely it is that he will have envious people or even enemies who will try to harm him in every way.
In order to protect yourself from envy, try never to open your heart to envious and evil people, especially to losers who dream of a family life or children, but do not have them. In this case, no envious people will be afraid of you. Every person has the right to happiness from birth. Wish your envious good, and it will definitely come back to you.
“Why are you doing the best?”: 12 signs that others are jealous of you, and what to do in this situation there is nothing wrong, but only if the envy is constructive - that is, motivating us to achieve. But envy can also be destructive or, as it is also called, black, in which case it seems to corrode you from the inside, destroying relationships and friendships. In this article, we will talk about the main signs that your friends, colleagues and even family members are jealous of you, and share the secrets of how to act in these situations.
How to understand that you are envied
They constantly compete with you
There is nothing wrong with healthy competition - it motivates us to develop and reach great heights. But if your friends, and even more so family members, begin to compete with you on the most insignificant reasons - who earns more, who buys more expensive gifts, who dresses better, who does more push-ups - then this can poison your relationship. And such aggressive competition and a person’s attempt to prove that he is better than you in everything is one of the main signs that he is secretly jealous of you.
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They make you feel guilty
Imagine a situation in which you come to your close friend or soulmate to share a joyful event in your life . But instead of congratulating you, the person quickly turns the conversation to himself and tells you what troubles happened to him during the day. Ultimately, you begin to feel guilty for upsetting the person with your joy at such a “difficult” moment, and you begin to comfort and support him. This behavior is another attempt to manipulate you and instill feelings of guilt, which, in turn, may arise from envy of your success.
They think that life is unfair
“ It's unfair that some people get everything easily, while others have to work all their lives ”, – how often do you hear such phrases from your relatives, colleagues and friends? Researchers note that people who often complain about the injustice of the world tend to envy the successes and achievements of others. Pay attention to how people in your circle speak of mutual acquaintances or even celebrities - if envy often slips into their speech, then most likely they can envy you too.
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They belittle your merit successful people. Has your business brought in a million dollars in net profit? But Mark Zuckerberg's company brings him billions. Have you received a second higher education diploma? But it's blue, not red.
Or assign them
An attempt to appropriate the merits of another person can be another symptom of black envy. « Did you get the best employee award? All because as a child I made you do your homework .” « Have you started your own business? It's thanks to me, because I gave you this idea .
They turn plus into minus
Even the most joyful event in your life can be turned into negative by envious people. Did you get a promotion? Now you have to stay up late at work. Did you get a marriage proposal? Goodbye freedom, hello life and routine. Has your paper been published in a scientific journal? But no one reads such magazines, and few people know about it. Do not let others belittle your dignity and merits, because otherwise it can lead to self-doubt and even achievement, which we described in detail in a separate article.
They refuse to celebrate your victory
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When joyful events happen in our lives, we want to share happy emotions with the closest people. But envious people find it difficult to celebrate the success of others, so they often look for opportunities not to come to a meeting or a solemn event dedicated to your achievements. If for some reason a person refuses to attend parties in honor of the fact that you won a sports competition, received another promotion or an award for your contribution to the development of science, then this is an occasion to think about whether he is jealous of you.
They are not self-confident
Researchers note that self-doubt can be one of the causes of destructive envy. Are your loved ones, friends, or co-workers experiencing self-esteem issues? If they do not know how to celebrate their success, fundamentally do not notice their own merits, but only shake their heads when they hear about the achievements of others, this indicates that they may feel envy towards you as well.
They criticize you all the time
Any decision you make is met with sharp criticism from relatives and friends. You have accepted a more lucrative position at another company - why take the risk? You are planning a vacation in the Maldives - why, if you can go to Turkey? You have a chance to move to another country - who will need you there? Psychologists note that such criticism can also be due to hidden envy in your direction.
Sign language gives them away
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Sign language betrays an envious person, so pay attention to how your acquaintances react to your success. Do they have a sincere smile, or does their face seem strained, like a mask? Do they cross their arms, unconsciously trying to block you out? Does their hull lean to the side, as if the person is contemplating an escape route? Read more about how the body betrays our thoughts, we wrote here.
Their compliments are offensive
Not every person knows how to give compliments correctly, but envious people unconsciously turn praise into an insult. “Are you getting married? Well, finally, otherwise I was already afraid for you”, “Have you gone on a diet? It was high time to take care of yourself, otherwise you don’t look very good. ” "Did you get a promotion? Finally you've been noticed after 50 years with this firm." Such attempts to belittle your merits, disguised as praise, are another sign that they envy you and are trying to "remove the crown from you."
They demotivate you
Would you like to apply for a position in a famous IT corporation? Get to know your idol? Go on a trip around the world? Get a second higher education? Whatever you have in mind, envious people will try to dissuade you from these risky adventures.
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What to do if people envy me
- Try not to talk about yourself if you feel that a person is not able to be happy for you. No need to provoke negativity in your direction.
- Do not allow yourself to be diminished and your dignity and to impose a sense of guilt on you - build personal boundaries in communication with others so that they do not harm your self-esteem.
- Do not show your superiority. Perhaps, at each meeting, you unconsciously let your friends know that you are better than them in everything, agree only to meetings in expensive restaurants, knowing full well that they cannot afford them? Or are you bragging about a successful vacation, knowing that a person recently lost his job?
- Try to feel the situation and determine at what moments you can share your joy, and at what times it is better to wait. For example, if a person is going through a personal crisis, a divorce, is immersed in depression, now he will not be able to sincerely be happy for you with all his desire.
