Self esteem treatment

Low Self-Esteem | Psychology Tools

Low self-esteem means not holding yourself in high regard. If you have low self-esteem, you might feel shy or anxious around other people, think of yourself as incapable or criticize yourself harshly. Some people with low self-esteem know that they judge themselves too harshly, whereas others hold onto their negative beliefs so strongly that they can feel like facts. Low self-esteem affects many people, and may make you more vulnerable to struggling with other mental health problems[1]. Fortunately, there are helpful psychological approaches for improving your self-esteem.

What is low self-esteem?

Self-esteem is the opinion you have of yourself. When you have healthy self-esteem, you tend to think positively about yourself, and optimistically about life in general. People with healthy self-esteem know that they are valuable, and will be able to name at least some of their positive qualities, such as “I am a good friend”, “I am kind”, “I am honest”, or “I am a good father”.

When you have low self-esteem, you tend to see yourself, the world, and your future more negatively and critically. You might feel anxious, sad, low, or unmotivated. When you encounter challenges, you may doubt whether you will be able to rise to them. You might talk to yourself harshly in your mind, telling yourself things like “You’re stupid”, “You’ll never manage this”, or “I don’t amount to anything”.

Your self-esteem affects how you live your life, but it is fragile. If you have low self-esteem, you might be always trying to please other people, or go ‘above and beyond’ at work or with your friends and family. As long as you keep meeting these standards you may feel OK, but there will inevitably be times when it’s not possible to do so, and this can quickly leave you feeling low and anxious.

Self-esteem exists on a spectrum. Some people with low self-esteem find that it only affects them with certain people, or in certain situations. Other people find that their self-esteem colors everything they do.

What is it like to have low self-esteem?

Rosie’s belief that she was not good enough

I grew up in a family of doctors and scientists. While I was growing up, I always felt compared to my sister, ‘the good one’. I was more active and energetic than her, and I loved climbing trees and running around with the dog. I often got told off for that. As I got older, people kept comparing me to my sister (“Why can’t you be more like her?”) and I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me. My sister was always well behaved at home and school. Even the teachers compared me to her, which left me feeling like I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t achieve as well as my sister academically, and I went on to work for the local council. My sister, on the other hand, became a doctor and our parents always praised her achievements. I felt like I was a failure, and the odd one out in my family.

I came to therapy when I was thirty. I was burnt out at work and my relationship had just ended after four years. I felt depressed, as if I had failed at life. I always gave 110%, I’d always tried to do everything perfectly at work and never wanted to let anyone down, even if it meant saying yes to extra work even when I was already overwhelmed. This meant that I had little time for my partner or my friends, but I worried that if I said no, my boss would think I wasn’t up to the job. Once, I got a 3 out of 5 on one of my competencies in my appraisal, and I felt like I was a complete failure. As a result, I worked even harder, and I worried about making mistakes or getting things wrong: I was always putting myself down.

Do you suffer from low self-esteem?

A diagnosis of low self-esteem should only be made by a mental health professional or a doctor. However, answering the screening questions below can give you an idea of whether you might find it helpful to have a professional assessment.

I feel like I’m a person of worth, at least as much as others.
 Strongly agree  Agree  Disagree  Strongly disagree
On the whole, I am satisfied with myself.
 Strongly agree  Agree  Disagree  Strongly disagree
I never feel useless.
 Strongly agree  Agree  Disagree  Strongly disagree
I encourage myself kindly when things don’t go right.
 Strongly agree  Agree  Disagree  Strongly disagree
I have a number of good qualities.
 Strongly agree  Agree  Disagree  Strongly disagree


The questions above can’t provide a definitive diagnosis, but if you ticked ‘Strongly disagree’ to a lot of these questions it is an indication that you might be struggling with low self-esteem. You might find it helpful to speak to your general practitioner, or a mental health professional about how you are feeling.

What causes low self-esteem?

At the centre of low self-esteem are the negative beliefs and opinions you hold about yourself. Nobody is born with beliefs like this – they develop as a result of the experiences you have throughout your life. How other people treat you, particularly when you are growing up, can greatly affect upon how you see yourself. Experiences that make you more likely to develop low self-esteem include:

  • Experiences such as punishment, abuse, or neglect. Punishment, abuse, and neglect are very powerful experiences. Children who experience them often jump to the mistaken conclusion that they are bad and must have deserved what happened to them.
  • Insufficient warmth, affection, praise, love, or encouragement. You might not remember anything overtly traumatic happening, and wonder why you feel the way you do about yourself. It is possible to develop low self-esteem without specific negative experiences, but simply through a deficit of enough positive ones. Without enough reinforcement that they are good, special, or loved, children can form the impression that they are not good enough.
  • Failure to meet other people’s expectations. You might feel that you are not good enough because you didn’t meet someone else’s expectations. These might have been your parent’s standards, or some other authority figure. For many people with low self-esteem, it doesn’t seem to matter whether the standards were fair or balanced in the first place – the part that ‘sticks’ is them not meeting these standards.
  • Inability to fit in with your peer group. Belonging to a ‘group’ or a ‘tribe’ is important – it’s one of our survival needs. Being different or the ‘odd one out’, especially during adolescence when you are forming your identity, can powerfully impact your sense of self.

What keeps low self-esteem going?

Research studies have shown that Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective treatments for low self-esteem [2]. CBT therapists work a bit like firefighters: while the fire is burning they’re not so interested in what caused it, but are more focused on what is keeping it going, and what they can do to put it out. This is because if they can work out what keeps a problem going, they can treat the problem by interrupting this maintaining cycle. A psychologist called Melanie Fennell developed an influential cognitive behavioral model of low self-esteem [3]. Dr Fennell’s model says that:

  • Throughout your life you form negative beliefs about yourself as a result of the way you have been treated. Psychologists call this your ‘bottom line’ or ‘core belief’. Your core belief is how you feel about yourself deep down, for example “I’m worthless” or “I’m no good”.
  • Confronting core beliefs feels unpleasant, so we all develop rules for living that protect us from our core beliefs. These rules guide how you live your life, and as long as your rules don’t get broken, your core belief stays dormant. People with low self-esteem often have rules that are demanding and rigid, such as “I must always please other people”, or “As long as I don’t get criticized then I’m OK”.
  • It can feel very anxiety provoking when it seems like one of your rules might be broken. If one of your rules is “I’m OK as long as everyone is happy”, it might be anxiety provoking if people around you are not happy – you might feel that you have failed.
  • When there is a danger that rules might be broken, you might make anxious predictions about what might happen and fear the worst (e.g. “I’ll be rejected if I can’t do everything that is expected of me”), or you might speak to yourself in a critical way, or avoid tricky situations and use strategies to cope.

Fennell states that all of these elements fit together. Your rules were developed to protect you, but are often rather inflexible and they can stop things from getting better. Although your safety strategies can make you feel good in the short-term, all of them can keep your core belief from changing, and your self-esteem doesn’t improve.


Treatments for low self-esteem

Psychological treatments for low self-esteem

A number of psychological treatments have been developed which directly target low self-esteem or self-criticism. These include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), competitive memory training (COMET), and compassion focused therapy (CFT). There is evidence that they are effective forms of treatment [4,5,6,7,8, 9, 10]. There is also some overlap with psychological treatments for depression.

Ingredients of effective CBT for low self-esteem include:

  • Identifying your core beliefs
  • Identifying your rules for living
  • Developing healthier (more flexible) rules and beliefs
  • Testing your negative predictions using behavioral experiments
  • Facing your fears and confronting anxiety-provoking situations
  • Replacing self-criticism with self-compassion
  • Living in line with your new core beliefs

Medical treatments for low self-esteem

There are no recommended medical treatments for low self-esteem by itself. Where low self-esteem accompanies other problems, such as anxiety or depression, medical treatment may be recommended.


  1. Silverstone, P. H., & Salsali, M. (2003). Low self-esteem and psychiatric patients: Part I–The relationship between low self-esteem and psychiatric diagnosis. Annals of General Hospital Psychiatry, 2(1), 1-9.
  2. Kolubinski, D. C., Frings, D., Nikčević, A. V., Lawrence, J. A., & Spada, M. M. (2018). A systematic review and meta-analysis of CBT interventions based on the Fennell model of low self-esteem. Psychiatry Research, 267, 296-305.
  3. Fennell, M. J. (1997). Low self-esteem: A cognitive perspective. Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy, 25(1), 1-26.
  4. Korrelboom, K. (2015). COMET voor negatief zelfbeeld: competitive memory training bij lage zelfwaardeing en negatief zelfbeeld. Bohn Stafleu van Loghum.
  5. Whelan, A., Haywood, P., & Galloway, S. (2007). Low self-esteem: group cognitive behaviour therapy. British Journal of Learning Disabilities, 35(2), 125-130.
  6. Morton, L., Roach, L., Reid, H., & Stewart, S. H. (2012). An evaluation of a CBT group for women with low self-esteem. Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy, 40(2), 221-225.
  7. Waite, P., McManus, F., & Shafran, R. (2012). Cognitive behaviour therapy for low self-esteem: A preliminary randomized controlled trial in a primary care setting. Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry, 43(4), 1049-1057.
  8. Korrelboom, K., van der Weele, K., Gjaltema, M., & Hoogstraten, C. (2009). Competitive memory training for treating low self-esteem: A pilot study in a routine clinical setting. The Behavior Therapist.
  9. Korrelboom, K., Maarsingh, M., & Huijbrechts, I. (2012). Competitive Memory Training (COMET) for treating Low Self-Esteem in Patients with Depressive Disorders: A Randomized Clinical Trial.Depression and anxiety, 29(2), 102-110.
  10. Korrelboom, K., Marissen, M., & van Assendelft, T. (2011). Competitive memory training (COMET) for low self-esteem in patients with personality disorders: A randomized effectiveness study. Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy, 39(1), 1-19.

About this article

This article was written by Dr Matthew Whalley and Dr Hardeep Kaur, both clinical psychologists. It was last reviewed on 2021/12/09.

Self-Esteem Worksheets & Exercises | Psychology Tools


  • Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale (Rosenberg, 1965) download archived copy


Exercises, Worksheets & Workbooks

  • How to increase your self-esteem download archived copy
  • Issues with self-esteem? download archived copy
  • Self-esteem self-help booklet including information about self-esteem and self-help interventions  download archived copy
  • Building Self-Esteem – A Self-Help Guide download archived copy
  • How to nurture your child’s self esteem download archived copy
  • Group exercises for improving self esteem download archived copy
  • Combating self-criticism download  archived copy
  • Being assertive | Chris Williams download archived copy
  • Assertive communication – mini-poster download
  • Assertive communication download archived copy

Information Handouts

  • What is low self-esteem? download archived copy
  • How low self-esteem begins download archived copy
  • How low self-esteem is maintained download archived copy
  • Acknowledging your positives download archived copy
  • Negative self-evaluations download archived copy
  • Adjusting negative core beliefs download archived copy
  • Adjusting rules and assumptions download archived copy
  • Overcoming biased expectations download archived copy
  • Healthy self-esteem download archived copy


  • How low self-esteem begins download archived copy
  • How low self-esteem is maintained download archived copy
  • Positive qualities record download archived copy
  • Positive you journal download archived copy
  • Adjusting core beliefs download archived copy
  • Challenging biased expectations download archived copy
  • Experimenting with biased expectations download archived copy
  • Thought diary for negative self-evaluations download archived copy
  • Adjusting rules and assumptions download archived copy
  • Healthy self-esteem download archived copy

Self-Help Programmes

Improving self-esteem

  • What is low self-esteem? download archived copy
  • How low self-esteem develops download archived copy
  • How low self-esteem is maintained download archived copy
  • Biased expectations download archived copy
  • Negative self-evaluations download archived copy
  • Accepting yourself download archived copy
  • Adjusting rules and assumptions download archived copy
  • Developing balanced core beliefs download archived copy
  • Healthy self-esteem download archived copy

Recommended Reading

  • Markus, H. , & Nurius, P. (1986). Possible selves. American Psychologist41(9), 954. download archived copy

CBT approach

  • Fennell, M. J. (1997). Low self-esteem: A cognitive perspective. Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy25(1), 1-26.
  • Fennell, M. J. V. (1998). Cognitive therapy in the treatment of low self-esteem. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 4, 296-304 download  archived copy
  • Fennell, M. J. V. (2004). Depression, low self-esteem, and mindfulness. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 42, 1053-1067
  • McManus, F., Waite, P., & Shafran, R. (2009). Cognitive-behavior therapy for low self-esteem: a case example. Cognitive and Behavioral Practice, 16(3), 266-275 download archived copy

COMET approach

  • Brewin, C. R. (2006). Understanding cognitive behaviour therapy: A retrieval competition account. Behaviour research and therapy, 44(6), 765-784
  • Korrelboom, K. , van der Weele, K., Gjaltema, M., & Hoogstraten, C. (2009). Competitive memory training for treating low self-esteem: A pilot study in a routine clinical setting. The Behavior Therapist.
  • Korrelboom, K., de Jong, M., Huijbrechts, I., & Daansen, P. (2009). Competitive memory training (COMET) for treating low self-esteem in patients with eating disorders: A randomized clinical trial. Journal of consulting and clinical psychology, 77(5), 974 download archived copy
  • Korrelboom, K., Marissen, M., & van Assendelft, T. (2011). Competitive memory training (COMET) for low self-esteem in patients with personality disorders: A randomized effectiveness study. Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy, 39(01), 1-19 download archived copy
  • Staring, A. B. P., van den Berg, D. P. G., Cath, D. C., Schoorl, M., Engelhard, I. M., & Korrelboom, C. W. (2016). Self-esteem treatment in anxiety: A randomized controlled crossover trial of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) versus Competitive Memory Training (COMET) in patients with anxiety disorders. Behaviour research and therapy, 82, 11-20 download archived copy

Low self-esteem: how to improve it?


Know Yourself A Man Among Men

Low self-esteem makes us more vulnerable to the smallest psychological jabs, so that even small failures and disappointments can break through walls, break through psychological fortifications and penetrate deep into the soul.

If self-esteem is low, then such trifles as criticism of the authorities or the cancellation of a meeting with a friend worsen the mood much more than they should. We begin to blame ourselves for what happened, taking events too close to our hearts and bouncing back too slowly after that.

Indeed, low self-esteem turns the usual psychological shelling, which each of us periodically undergoes, into a real siege. But overly high self-esteem entails its own difficulties.

Thus, narcissists have enormous self-esteem and exceptionally high self-esteem, but they are easily offended and lose their temper when they are criticized, even if the criticism is insignificant: for such people there are no small insults.

Two-thirds of us are average in every single area

Since they react so sharply to even small remarks, it is no wonder that they are vindictive: they want to teach a lesson to those who hurt their inflated egos at all costs.

Inflated self-esteem makes us blame others for our own mistakes, ignore the negative reviews of others, and also makes it difficult to take responsibility for what we have done. And if so, then we run the risk of making the same mistakes again and again, which will inevitably lead to problems at work and in our personal lives.

When compared to others, all of us, whether we have high or low self-esteem, consider ourselves above average. But statistically, two-thirds of us are average in every single area: only one in six performs above average and one in six below average.

And although we would never want to be average, psychologists have collected a lot of evidence that it is the average level of self-esteem (not too high and not too low) that is the most optimal.

Why we don't like compliments

People with low self-esteem are often more willing to listen to negative feedback than compliments because it is more in line with their view of themselves. Low self-esteem endows with a striking resistance to positive experiences and information. But it is precisely this kind of feedback that can restore self-esteem and self-confidence.

But although we need this information more than anything else, low self-esteem prevents us from accepting it, but, on the contrary, makes us close our ears and even flee. Why is this happening? With chronically low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness become part of the personality. We get used to it and feel quite comfortable with it.

Psychologists have long known that information that fits within our existing worldview is perceived as convincing, and information that is significantly at odds with beliefs is usually rejected.

If we consider ourselves unattractive, it is much easier for us to accept the compliment "You look good today" than "Your beauty is breathtaking. "

When people with low self-esteem listen to positive statements (or say affirmations) in training that are very different from their existing beliefs, the information contained in them is perceived as false and is rejected entirely. Thus, faith in the truth of the opposite only grows stronger.

Bo and his friends

Friends forgot to invite him to parties, criticized him ruthlessly, and had the audacity to borrow large sums of money and not pay him back. Bo desperately sought to find a woman who would become his wife, but here, too, friends hindered him more than helped. He tried to talk to girls at parties, but his buddies ruined everything with their jokes about his worthlessness.

When Bo came to the session, he said that he was heavily addicted to all kinds of personal growth training. It got to the point where he even purchased a special device that corrected his "brain waves" in his sleep (but the only thing that was corrected was his bank account).

He listened to a huge amount of subliminal messages such as "I deserve only the best and nothing is impossible for me." But when women recklessly complimented him, considering him sweet, kind and caring, he immediately retreated into himself.

“She doesn't know me at all! he was indignant. “She doesn’t even know what problems I have!” Then Bo unconsciously made every effort to demonstrate what he "really" was, after which the women naturally left.

Why did he let his friends treat him like that? People with low self-esteem are rarely confrontational and have great difficulty deciding to end destructive relationships, which naturally do them more harm than good. The position, which is expressed by the words "not to fat, to be alive" or "take what they give," does not allow you to take any active actions.

We are convinced that setting boundaries, making demands, or stating our expectations - however reasonable and not in the least exaggerated - will lead to immediate rejection. Of course, others quickly notice that we rarely take the initiative, do not like to object and protest, which in their eyes makes us less valuable. Over time, they stop thinking about our feelings and needs altogether.

Bo's problem was that some of his friends might actually leave him if he demanded respect for his personality. Some, but not all. I tried to explain to him that speaking frankly would be the litmus test that would test the quality of his friendships. Those who care about him will agree with Bo's objections and begin to treat him with more attention and care. Those who are not ready to understand him do not deserve the title of friends.

I highly doubt that all of Bo's friends were selfish and manipulative, although of course they hardly deserved the Nobel Peace Prize. Most of us put in only as much effort as the situation calls for. If a small portion of care and attention is enough and we are allowed to take without giving almost anything in return, then we will do so.

It's not that we're bad. It's just that we're not used to doing more than we need to. If more was required of us, we would do better. This is true for almost all relationships.

How to treat psychological wounds from low self-esteem?

1. Identify your strengths and set yourself up to stand up for your worth

The usefulness of positive affirmations about what we desire is questionable. Our hero Bo became so addicted to this approach that it was difficult for him to leave it. But he agreed to include active actions in his "mantras". For example: “When I lend money to someone, I say that they need to be returned on time” and “If a friend upsets me, I have the right to express dissatisfaction.”

The most effective attitudes for us will be those that emphasize the very real and most valuable qualities of a person: for example, reliability, loyalty and tact. And not desirable qualities that we do not possess, but stubbornly name in positive attitudes.

Reminding yourself of your own worth, which no real or imagined shortcomings can cross out, immediately increases self-esteem and resistance to failure. Therefore, it is worth taking the time to remember and write down your strengths.

Gladys and her husband

Gladys, a 40-year-old breast cancer survivor, also had a very low opinion of herself. However, unlike Bo, she did not suffer from low self-esteem all her life, but only the last few years. The fault was the hardest emotional blows inflicted on her after the terrible diagnosis was made.

While she was undergoing chemotherapy, her husband left her without any warning. In a display of blatant cruelty, he served her divorce papers through an intermediary who met her at the hospital exit on the day she was discharged from her double mastectomy.

When I met Gladys, she didn't look like a heroine who beat a terminal illness, an athlete who won countless medals and trophies as a student, or a web designer who created a successful business after a divorce. Shyness, self-doubt and shyness - that's what caught my eye in the first place.

She said: “Now I am suffering because I am not being paid as much as I deserve. They demand from me that I do things for free that were not originally discussed. Unfortunately, I usually succumb to the persuasion of persistent people. They put pressure on me and I eventually give in.”

2. Shut down the critical voices in your head

We have all experienced failure, shame, humiliation, rejection and berated ourselves for it. Choose one such event and describe in detail what happened and how you felt. Like any person with low self-esteem, you will probably exaggerate at the same time.

Now imagine that all this happened not to you, but to a loved one. It pains you to watch him suffer, so you decide to write him a letter to make him feel better. Try to express in him all your kindness, understanding and care, write that you share his feelings, and do not forget to mention that he deserves empathy and support.

Describe the same event again, but now only the facts, as objectively as possible. For example, tell how you made a few mistakes during the presentation, but do not write that colleagues lost respect for you because of this. No matter how they react, we must remember that low self-esteem causes us to interpret the facial expressions and gestures of other people too negatively.

3. Take Action

The vast majority of articles, books and trainings that promise to save us from feeling helpless and insecure miss one thing: self-confidence is not a feeling, but a quality. And it is possible to form it not by visualization or affirmations, but only by action.

It is necessary to start with the task, the solution of which does not seem to us the most difficult. If we do fail, the consequences need not be dire. We must first collect as much information as possible about how to achieve the goal and develop a plan that we will stick to.

List all the moments when low self-esteem does not allow you to defend yourself, in order. Assess the chances of success and the severity of the consequences in case of failure.

For example, Bo decided to remind his friend Timothy about the borrowed $2,000. Timothy promised to return them within three months, but a year has passed since then. Beau called him his "least friend," so it made sense to risk the relationship and ask for a refund.

And Gladys decided to discuss a couple of "website upgrades" that a client asked her to do for free. These improvements seemed to her not significant enough for the client to refuse her services if she asked for payment. So they took the risk. And what?

Patience and perseverance

It must be remembered that gaining self-confidence is a process, not a one-time action. You need to be prepared for the fact that not all efforts will bring quick results and that perseverance is necessary.

Bo's original plan failed because his friend rescheduled the meeting for the evening and then canceled it altogether, citing fatigue. When Gladys called her clients about extra work, they didn't even want to listen to her.

Every failure will teach you how to develop a more effective plan of action. Beau drew up a convenient payment schedule and mailed it to Timothy, enclosing blank envelopes with his return address. He tried to state only the facts and did not accuse his friend of anything. In response, Timothy apologized and sent a check for the first part of the amount. Gladys continued to email clients until they agreed to pay her for additional work.

Having coped with the first item on the list, you should use a burst of energy to solve the next problem. You need to act while the memories of success are still fresh! Of course, it will take time before our emotional immunity builds up, and then we begin to operate more effectively. However, with each small triumph, we become stronger and stronger.

Source: Guy Winch Psychological First Aid

Text: Maria Malygina Photo Credit: Getty Images

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Low self-esteem. What to do? — Oftop on

One of the three manifestations of self-esteem is characteristic of a person: low, high and adequate - a kind of golden mean. Today the topic of low self-esteem will be touched upon.


For each manifestation of this state, there are signs, which are very easy to remember.

Shyness is characteristic of low self-esteem (no matter how strange it may sound, but from a psychological point of view, shyness, modesty are the qualities that appear in us when we experience fear. Fear of not being liked.).

Criticism and negative statements about other people are also characteristic. This is due to the fact that there is no necessary balance and harmony inside a person, he, not accepting himself and not loving himself, begins to look for flaws and flaws in the world around him - in people, objects, animals, behavior, and so on. Criticism of such people is destructive, it does not carry suggestions for improving the criticized object, but simply expresses some dissatisfaction with what they see or hear.

Third, self-condemnation. It occurs when a person, when buying something, does not experience any positive emotions, even if the purchased item was very desirable, he chose it for a long time and really wanted to buy it.

Why do we encounter such a manifestation of our self-esteem

There are many examples of such words and expressions. Often they are pronounced by people close to us and do not carry the message to offend us and offend us. To be honest, often these words are simply spoken without any subtext.

“what the hell are you doing”, “you won’t succeed”, “it’s not even worth trying”, “we have more important problems/questions now”, “we are not millionaires”, “you write like a chicken with your left heel”, “ plopped down like a seal” and many others.

Such expressions can make a person believe that he is not good enough for something or that he is not worthy of any manifestations of benefits, and this greatly affects self-esteem, digging deep into the subconscious, developing a lack of self-confidence, motivation to achieve goals.

It is mainly caused by the fact that the person who has low self-esteem himself suffers from this problem and is afraid that the person next to him, having a higher self-esteem, will leave him/her, find someone more interesting/fun, etc.

  • Jealousy.

This also includes possessiveness. A jealous person experiences fear of the superiority of another person over him and disrespect for someone else's choice.

  • Internal non-realization.

When it is impossible to adequately realize one's dreams, ideas and interests, a feeling of inner unfulfillment arises. Outwardly, a person looks aggressive, angry and irritable to others, he cannot adequately and calmly respond to questions and constructive criticism. He himself is distinguished by rudeness and harsh criticism towards others. Often, he blames others for his failures or problems, but not himself.

Another reason for low self-esteem is the discrepancy between the internal image of oneself and the real one.

A person builds in his subconscious an image that seems to him an ideal version of himself, and very often the images do not match.

Many tend to see themselves in reality in a worse form than they really are.

Think of bodily flaws, add something that is not there, or attribute those character traits that are not there.

For this item, the phrase "living with contrived qualities and characteristics, we tend to seem rather than to be" applies.

It is better to imagine in detail the ideal person, who you would like to be personally and start doing what he would do.

For example , if you like the fact that a person, when problems arise, understands the causes and solves the difficulty, and does not close himself off from the world in order to “bury” the problem in himself, you should start acting like him and try to understand the causes first of all and start taking action.

Through such practices, the ideal person from the subconscious will gradually turn into a real person in life.

What can be done to improve self-esteem?

First of all, it is work on oneself.

A really noticeable result is possible only on condition of a qualitative study of one's complexes, traits that one does not like in oneself.

Here are some ways that can help you develop your own self

  • Keep a diary.

Let him be your friend. A place where you can pour out your soul and express everything in a language that will be clear to you in the first place.

This is a huge field of opportunities for self-expression: handwritten diaries, video diaries, audio recordings.

Many people need to create in order to express themselves. It can be photography, drawing, dancing and any other manifestations of your creative abilities. In my opinion, such activities will positively affect finding harmony with oneself.

  • Contact a specialist.

If there is no desire to create and express oneself to oneself, or there is a fear of not understanding, but only aggravating the situation, one can turn to a psychologist. It will help you understand what has detrimentally affected your self-esteem and how to correct this situation.

It is important to understand that the choice of a specialist should be approached with the utmost responsibility, as your mental health depends on it.

  • Try meditation and breathing practices.

In addition to meditation and breathing practices, it is also good to study psychosomatics and perform meditations in accordance with the topic of interest.

Regular implementation of such actions will help you find balance and harmony with yourself, as well as independently find the source of problems in your relationship with yourself and choose the most appropriate solution.

  • Reach out to friends and family.

Who else but they will be able to support you, find the right words.

Perhaps some of them have already overcome such a difficult period in their lives and have been able to find harmony with themselves. Their advice can be extremely helpful.

What films are suitable for raising self-esteem and finding yourself.

Here is a list of those films that can show the importance of self-esteem and self-confidence in our lives.

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