Questions to deepen intimacy

50 questions to build emotional intimacy

Settle down with your partner and take turns asking and answering these questions to help deepen your connection

Our romantic relationships are some of the most important in our lives, bringing us joy, comfort and support. Building emotional intimacy strengthens these bonds even further, deepening your connection and your understanding of each others’ wants, needs, and desires.

To help you along the way, we’ve gathered together 50 questions that help you build emotional intimacy. Set aside some time when you both feel relaxed, and take it in turns to ask and answer each of these questions. You may be surprised at what you discover…

  1. What do you think your younger self would think of our relationship?

  2. What have you learned about relationships from your parents?

  3. When was the last time you cried?

  4. Have your friendships taught you anything about romantic relationships?

  5. What does ‘work-life balance’ mean to you?

  6. What was the most surprising thing you learned about me?

  7. When was the last time you laughed so much you cried?

  8. Has your relationship taught you anything about yourself?

  9. In what ways do you think we’re similar?

  10. In what ways do you think we’re different?

  11. What did you want to be when you were a child?

  12. In what ways do you think we’ve evolved as a couple?

  13. When have you felt most proud of me?

  14. What have I taught you?

  15. What makes you feel confident?

  16. Have there been any challenges in our relationship?

  17. If we could travel anywhere together, where would we go?

  18. What’s your most treasured childhood memory?

  19. What book, film, or TV show has had the greatest impact on you?

  20. What is your biggest fear?

  21. How do you think you express love for me?

  22. What was your favourite toy growing up?

  23. What excites you the most about life?

  24. What is your favourite characteristic about yourself?

  25. How important is a physical connection to you?

  26. What do you think is the most interesting fact about me?

  27. How would you define ‘success’?

  28. Where do you see yourself in five years?

  29. What’s your favourite way to relax?

  30. How often do you reflect on the past?

  31. What do you think are the signs of a healthy relationship?

  32. Do you think we have the same values? How do we differ?

  33. Where do you feel most comfortable?

  34. What is your favourite thing to do together?

  35. What song is the soundtrack to your life?

  36. Do you have a favourite photograph of the two of us?

  37. Is there something new you want to try together?

  38. If you could relive one day with me, which would it be?

  39. Are you able to tell when I’m upset? How?

  40. What value do you admire most about me?

  41. Do you enjoy spending time in nature? Why?

  42. Is affection in a relationship important to you? In what ways?

  43. What’s the most loving thing I’ve done for you?

  44. When you’re feeling stressed, what’s the best thing I can do for you?

  45. What’s the best gift I’ve given you?

  46. Is there a song that reminds you of me?

  47. Do you enjoy alone time? Why?

  48. What’s the most supportive thing I’ve done for you?

  49. How important is family to you?

  50. What do you think is the key to a happy, healthy relationship?

Ready for round two? Try 50 more questions to build emotional intimacy

Interested in working with a couples counsellor? Connect with a professional using counselling-directory.

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32 Questions for Intimacy That Deepen Your Relationship

Over the years, I’ve come to prefer (and have worked tirelessly to perfect), a laid-back but romantic dinner at home as opposed to a night out. The process is simple, and it starts by setting the mood. You know the drill: dim the lights, put a favorite record on, and prep a mouthwatering meal to roast in the oven. After that? Prepare for presence. To make any night with your partner more meaningful, I’ve curated a list of 32 questions for intimacy that will help guide your conversation and help you both get deep.

While ambiance is key to an intimate evening at home, without enticing conversation, even the most beautiful setting can fall flat. So let go of the stress of the day or the week, and come to the table with intentional questions that’ll help you grow deeper in your relationship.

Because here’s an important PSA to keep in mind: dating your partner can be more than an overpriced dinner or bouquet of flowers. With the right mindset, intention, and questions, setting aside these special moments can deepen your love and bring a fresh and renewed perspective to your relationship.

Feature image by Michelle Nash.

Image by Michelle Nash


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Take a look at these questions and jot down your faves. May the conversations they inspire bring you to exciting places with your loved one. Because however you decide to spend your Friday evening, that’s really the goal, isn’t it?

The Best Questions for Intimacy and Connection With Your Partner

  1. What are three qualities about me that you were first attracted to?
  2. What’s a question you’ve always wanted to ask me but never have?
  3. What do you remember from when we were falling in love?
  4. How do you like to be shown love?
  5. How do you like to show love?
  6. What makes you feel the most loved?
  7. Would you like to be famous?
  8. If you could, what would you have changed about your childhood?
  9. What is one thing that you’re afraid to tell anyone else?
  10. What would the perfect day look like to you? How would you spend it?
  11. If we met again for the first time, but with all the knowledge of our relationship up to now, what would you want to say to me?
  12. Share a time you felt embarrassed.
  13. When have you felt the most proud of me?
  14. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Why?
  15. What is your biggest regret?
  16. Out of the five senses, which is the most sensual to you?
  17. What do you think your younger self would think of our relationship?
  18. If you could relive one day together, which would it be?
  19. Is there anything you’re afraid to accomplish that I can help you with?
  20. Is our relationship physical enough for you? What would make it better in your eyes?
  21. How and where do you like to be touched?
  22. Do you have any fantasies you would like fulfilled?
  23. What is the closest you’ve ever felt to me?
  24. What is the best part of our relationship?
  25. My sexiest feature is… ?
  26. What song always makes you think of me?
  27. Is there anything we haven’t tried that you’d like to?
  28. What movie do you think would reflect our relationship?
  29. How and when did you know we’d make it as a couple?
  30. If you didn’t have to work, what would you do with your life?
  31. What is the best way I can make you feel loved?
  32. What’s your favorite memory of us?

Have you and your partner tried asking intentional questions for intimacy and connection? We’d love to hear how it influenced your relationship in the comments.

This post was originally published on February 14, 2022, and has since been updated.

100 relationship questions for couples

What is important in answering these questions? 🤗

  • Honesty builds trust! Be honest with your partner when answering these questions.
  • Don't be afraid! If you and your partner are made for each other, you should be able to talk about everything. So don't be afraid to talk about your innermost thoughts.
  • Don't rush your partner! Some questions may make your partner feel uncomfortable. Don't rush to answer all questions. Be patient, some things take time.
  • Do not judge! You may not understand every thought of your partner. This is completely normal. But try to be supportive, even if you have a different opinion.

Our collection of 100 interesting relationship questions 🥰

The following lists of questions are the perfect start for conversations with your significant other. We have compiled a lot of romantic and sexy questions to ask your girlfriend or boyfriend. Don't be afraid to dive into a deep conversation with your partner. Take the chance and get to know each other on a new level!


Which Undertale character are you?

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20 questions before moving on to the next level 🤔

Maybe you've been thinking about living together lately, or you want to propose to your significant other, or you just want to feel ready to let your guard down in a new relationship . Then these questions are for you.

Here are 20 questions you should ask your partner before taking the next step.

  • Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

  • Will you support me no matter what?

  • How much honesty do you need in a relationship?

  • How do you think you have changed over the past few years?

  • What do you think about children?

  • How do you see love?

  • How do you deal with difficult situations?

  • Do you believe in God?

  • What is cheating for you?

  • What do you think about your boyfriend's relationship?

  • Do you feel that we make each other the best version of ourselves?

  • Have you ever cheated on someone?

  • Have you ever hit a person with whom you had a relationship?

  • What's on your wish list?

  • What do you think about marriage?

  • How did/did you deal with your feelings and emotions as a child?

  • What do you want from this relationship?

  • How would you describe your relationship with your family?

    N e w !


  • How did your last relationship end?

  • What is the length of your longest romantic relationship?

20 questions about your hopes and dreams 👑

Everyone has their own hopes and dreams. Some of them can be realistically realized in our future, some of them are just from the world of dreams and fantasy. Through these questions, you and your partner get to know each other on a deeper level by talking about your hopes and dreams.

  • Which animal would you like to ride at least once in your life?
  • If you had to change lives with someone, who would it be?
  • Can you choose any person in the world that you would like to invite to dinner?
  • If you had an invisibility superpower, how would you use it?
  • What are the unfulfilled things in your life?
  • If you could see into the future, what would you like to see?
  • What do you think of the perfect honeymoon destination?
  • If you could design an ideal home for us, what would it look like?
  • What would you like to be really good at?
  • If you could be any animal, who would it be?
  • What geolocation do you see yourself in after retirement?
  • If you had to change your name, what name would you choose?
  • Is there anything you have long dreamed of doing? Why haven't you done this yet?
  • If you had a time machine, would you choose to go back in time or visit the future?
  • If you could move anywhere in the world, where would you go?
  • What are your dreams in life and what do you want from the future?
  • What superpower would you like to have the most?
  • What adventures would you like to experience before you die?
  • If you could be the richest person in the world, what would you do with your money?
  • If you could look like anyone else in the world, who would you choose and why?

20 questions about romance, love and sex life (18+) 👅

Time flies, you and your partner are struggling to find a balance between your full employment, personal life with friends and leisure activities, and, perhaps even combine it with your family with children.

👉 We offer you: ❤️ Questions 99+ couples Trivia

It's no secret that our love and romantic life can suffer from stress at some point. You may feel like you have lost the passion you once had for your partner. If this sounds familiar, then these questions are for you. They are designed to spice up your sex life and rekindle the romance in your relationship.

  • What is your wildest fantasy?

  • What do I do that turns you on the most?

  • What is your idea of ​​a perfect romantic date?

  • What would you like to do more in bed?

  • What dirty fantasy do you have about me?

  • Are there times when you feel lonely/lonely, neglected/deprived of attention, or as if I am emotionally unavailable/unavailable?

  • How would you like to spend a special date with each other?

  • Would you tell me that you have some secret fetishes?

  • What do you think it means to be good in bed?

  • Last time you saw me in your dirty dream? When it was?

  • What is your favorite part of my body?

  • What do you think about threesomes?

    👉 We offer you: 250+ questions for a guy: Get to know him.

  • What is the best thing I can do for you in bed?

  • If you could ask me anything and I could answer honestly, what would you ask?

  • Is there anything you won't do in bed?

  • How do you see a romantic getaway?

  • Are you satisfied with how much time we spend together and apart from each other?

  • What is your favorite time of the day for sex?

  • How/when do you feel most loved/most loved?

  • Which sex position would you like to try?

20 questions about your relationship 🔥

These questions are about your relationship and nothing else. Maybe you're not sure about your relationship right now. You feel like your partner doesn't care, unlike you. With these questions, you can subtly test each other's knowledge of your relationship.

These questions are great for starting a conversation about past, present, and future relationships.

  • What do you think makes me smile?
  • What do you remember most about our first kiss?
  • What is the most romantic thing I have ever done for you?
  • What do you like about me?
  • If you had one word to describe our relationship, what would it be?
  • What is your favorite similarity between us?
  • Do you think that I understand you and understand how you feel? Why do you think so?
  • What makes you the happiest person in our relationship?
  • What is your favorite memory of me at the moment?
  • What/what did you think about when you first met me?
  • What difference do you like between us?
  • How satisfied are you with the amount of non-sexual affection in our relationship?
  • Do you think of me when I'm not around?
  • What would you like to change about me?
  • Do you think I can be your best friend and lover/mistress at the same time?
  • Do you remember what we said to each other the very first time?
  • How long did you think our relationship would last when we first started dating?
  • What do you value most in our relationship?
  • If you had one word to describe our love, what would it be?
  • What about me made you fall in love?

20 “this or that” questions 🤩

Now we bring you a list of questions that work as a conversation starter and are perfect for a lazy Sunday afternoon for you and your significant other. You may already know the answers to your partner for some questions, but we guarantee there will be surprises…

We offer you: 250+ questions to get to know someone

  • Chocolate or vanilla?

  • Ice cream or french fries?

  • Hero or villain?

  • Cookies or cake?

  • SMS or call?

  • Summer or winter?

  • Book or movie?

  • Coca Cola or Pepsi?

  • Gold or silver?

  • Fruit or vegetables?

  • Ketchup or mustard?

  • Piercing or tattoos?

  • Sweet or salty?

  • Series or movies?

  • Pasta or pizza?

  • Family or friends?

  • Pop or indie?

  • Wine or beer?

  • Concert or play?

  • Cards or board games?

9 questions that take relationships to the next level

Let's face it, we all love shortcuts. We like things to be easy. As in work, money, and relationships.

Many of us often take them for granted. Without even realizing that the relationship between a man and a woman is something that should be carefully worked on.

If you do not do this, you can fall into the trap of "lazy" relationships that just exist, instead of flourishing and making both partners happy.

Now tell me honestly, how are things going with you? You may have been dating or married for several years. It is not so important.

Something else is more important. If your feelings are sincere, the desire to become closer to a man, to know and understand him is a completely natural phenomenon. And it should never be ignored.

Otherwise, at some point you will realize that your relationship has become "lazy" and no longer brings the former joy.

Therefore, if it is important for you not to lose the emotional component of your relationship, it is important to be loved and feel cared for by a man, keep reading.

How to deepen a relationship between a man and a woman

Quite a lot of couples prefer to ignore the small troubles that arise every day on the principle of “hide the trash under the carpet”.

Here they are, but we covered them up - and it seems that they are no longer there! Why sort things out if you can just pretend that nothing happened and everything is fine again?

All relationships between a man and a woman begin with a gradual study of each other. During this period, small quarrels often occur on the basis of mutual misunderstanding. And that's okay. After all, this is one way to understand what kind of person your partner really is, and how to deepen your relationship.

It is important during this period to learn how to solve problems that arise, and not hide them “under the carpet”. But there is another way to deepen the relationship between a man and a woman and build mutual understanding.

I recommend that you periodically ask your man some of the following questions. And also ask him to ask them to you.

It's incredible, but even 30 minutes a week dedicated to this event can make the relationship between a man and a woman much stronger and stronger.

Don't believe me? Try it just once and see what happens. If you don't like it, no one can force you to do it again.

But such an exercise can take your relationship from being a “lazy relationship” to a state of prosperity. As a result, you will no longer be tempted to hide "garbage under the carpet" and leave problems unresolved. You will learn to minimize them.

So, here are 9 questions that will help deepen the relationship between a man and a woman if they ask each other and answer them honestly.

1. Can I make you feel even more comfortable with me?

This is a great question to ask about both your pastime, personal interactions and intimacy.

Ask him what he wants. That he is especially pleased when he is next to you. Maybe lie down for a few minutes in silence, breathing deeply of your scent. Or he needs hugs as an expression of love. Or, eye-to-eye eye contact is sufficient.

2. Are you satisfied with our sex life?

But you shouldn't directly ask a man whether his sexual life together suits him. Better try sometimes gently bring him to the topic of novelty in your overall sex life.

Ask what else he would like to try, what he is interested in. Also offer your suggestions. Surely, you also have desires in this regard.

It is important to remember that this question is appropriate to ask if the relationship between a man and a woman has already moved to the stage of intimacy.

If you are just starting to date, it is not relevant. It is better to postpone it for the future.

3. How can I best support you through life?

In principle, there is a possibility that everything suits him anyway. But this happens quite rarely. Therefore, in most cases, this question can hook the right strings in the soul of your partner and awaken in him the desire to talk about his desires. Maybe it will be something simple, but a little unusual, like: “I want a sweet kiss from you to be the reason for my awakening in the morning. It really lifts my spirits for the whole day."

It could be something more. For example - “Although we agreed that we would take turns cooking, but I have a hard week at work and I will most likely have to stay long and come back late. Could you take over the cooking duties for the time being?”

As a result, the relationship between a man and a woman becomes much stronger and stronger after each similar case of mutual assistance.

4. Did I accidentally do something that was unpleasant for you?

Your man's answer to this question may well surprise you. For example, you thought that everything was fine between you. But after the conversation, moments surfaced that were not always pleasant for your man. Be attentive. Listen and don't interrupt.

If your partner decides to answer this question, it will be a bold act. After all, with his story about what exactly of your actions hurt him, what he is disappointed with, he can cause some pain to you.

It can be very difficult for him to put everything straight. After that, sincerely thank him for the revelation and ask for forgiveness if you feel guilty or embarrassed.

You can promise to get better and not let this happen again. Your man will be pleased.

5. How should I behave when you come home from work?

Of course, it is not advisable to ask this question directly. But you can gently bring a man to the answer to it.

Why is this needed? A man may want something specific that you yourself will never guess. What is important to him as a man.

Maybe he wants you to ask how he spent his day at work. Or maybe he needs a little mental rest, and your best gift for him after a hard day's work will be half an hour of absolute silence. By fulfilling this request, you will be a few steps closer to understanding his inner world.

By the way, from this question it might seem to you that I am describing a relationship between a man and a woman who is sitting at home waiting for him to come.

This is not entirely true.

Do you remember that at the beginning I recommended asking these questions to each other? If you are the first to show interest in his personal preferences, then soon the man will ask about your desires. For example, how to cheer you up at the end of a hard day if you also work.

6. Is there any type of physical contact that will help you feel more loved?

Now we are talking not only about the types of sexual contact (we have already talked about this above).

Perhaps there is some physical intimacy that he lacks. Maybe he loves it when you play with his hair. Or he likes it when you come up and hug him from behind.

There can be many options, because each individual relationship between a man and a woman is unique. And to find out about them, you just need to ask. And then more often to bring them to life.

7. Are we close enough (from his point of view)?

Our individual needs may change from day to day. Maybe your partner has been succumbing to serious stress all week and now he needs more care, compliments and support. Or, on the contrary, he is now rapidly climbing the career ladder, he is constantly busy and he needs more free time and personal space.

Asking for more independence does not mean that he has become less fond of you, but about affection and care that he is weak. It's just that people have emotional needs that are caused by the presence of various events in their lives.

And the better you learn to cater to his needs and tell him about yours, the deeper your relationship will become.

8. Do you have experiences that make you feel stressed? Can I help you deal with them?

The answer to this question will make it possible to understand what problems he has to face.

This may be unpleasant for both of you, but otherwise you will not be able to understand and help him. You can rephrase the question so that it sounds softer and more appropriate.

Anything that falls under the category “How can I help you in your business?” adds depth to the relationship between a man and a woman.

9. What topics and in what situations do you find it difficult to talk about? How can I support you in these moments?

This question can be asked every couple of months.

Each person has his own "cockroaches in the head", which make him feel vulnerable in various situations.

Maybe he is very uncomfortable when you publicly criticize him, even as a joke. Or he closes emotionally when you start discussing the topic of sex.

There may have been some mishap in the bedroom that makes him feel extremely embarrassed and ashamed. No need to “get into the soul” and beg him for answers to these questions, as in an interrogation. Try to find out his desires from a position of love and respect for him as a man.

The most effective way to clean up a relationship

I don't want you to feel like I'm advising you to focus around the clock on solving all your partner's problems.

Learn more