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10 Signs of an Abusive Wife and How to Deal With It

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Men are not the only ones who can be abusive in a relationship.

As shocking as it might be, women can be abusive too.

Also, due to the general lack of awareness regarding the abuse men face, they don’t even realize they’re dealing with an abusive wife. The signs of an abusive woman can often be so subtle that men may not realize they are at the receiving end.

Find out if you, or someone you know, is a victim of an abusive wife by going through the list below. Advice on how to deal with an abusive wife has also been discussed.

1. Controlling behavior

Abusive wives have controlling behavior. She will control who you hang out with, where you go, where you work, what you do with your paycheck, what you wear and how often you talk to family or friends.

The abuser will try to control you by utilizing non-verbal communication. She may refuse to talk to you, ignore you, stop being intimate with you, or even sulk until she gets her way. She is also an ace at controlling discussions.

Related Reading: Signs You’re in a Controlling Relationship

2. Verbal abuse

If you believe you are always (metaphorically speaking) walking on eggshells, this is most likely an indication of abuse. You may have an abusive wife if she shouts, yells or blows a gasket over little things. Such an abusive woman may debilitate you, constantly criticize you, and often reject your sentiments.

My wife is abusive. What do I do? If things have escalated to this level that you are wondering about the answer to this question, then it’s time you took matters into your own hands and set boundaries to mend the relationship.

Related Reading: What Is Verbal Abuse

3. Violence

If your significant other is rough, either when it comes to you or the people around you, you are in an oppressive relationship. If she punches, hits, and slaps you, these are clear signs the relationship isn’t sound. She may, likewise, try to kick animals, punch walls or toss things at you when she does not get her way.

Related Reading: What is Domestic Violence

4. Extreme jealousy

Most abusive wives are envious. They might demonstrate a bad mood as soon as they see you talking with someone else. Of course, spouses do tend to get jealous when they see their significant others interact with other people. However, in this case,  jealousy is a bit different. Your abusive wife will even grow jealous if you’re paying too much attention to your siblings or parents.

Also Try: Is My Wife Abusive Quiz

5. Unreasonable reactions

Another prominent sign of your wife being abusive is her having nonsensical reactions. When you commit an error, you feel there is nothing you can do to make it up to her. She won’t pardon you for your activities, regardless of how minute the mistake was or how much you plead her for forgiveness. 

Related Reading: Types of Abuse

6. Isolation

Oppressive spouses need you all to themselves. They don’t need you investing energy with colleagues, family or companions. She would rather prefer you to be miserable and all by yourself. She doesn’t need you hanging out with other individuals for fear that they may identify the abuse.

Related Reading: Causes of Abuse in a Relationship

7. Instills fear

Does your wife place you in circumstances that might make you fear for your life or safety? If there are instances where she tries to threaten you, makes you feel frightened, controls and manipulates you to the point where you begin dreading her and are scared, you are clearly in an abusive relationship.

Related Reading: How to Deal With an Abusive Husband?

8. Blames everyone else

She finds ways to accuse others; she assumes no liability for what she has done or said and will blame everybody for anything that turns out badly. She will dependably figure out how to point the finger at you.

On the off chance that you have never heard your wife apologize for anything and she is always playing the blame game, you might be in an abusive relationship.

Related Reading: Why Blaming Your Partner Won’t Help

9. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is the manipulative conduct used to confuse individuals into thinking their responses are so far from what’s normal that they’re insane.

The abusive wife tells the husband he is crazy or it’s just in his head. Such husbands are often left wondering whether this behavior means that they must correct themselves or their wife is abusive enough to skirt the issue by playing a blame game.

Related Reading: Solutions to Domestic Violence

10. Inability to handle criticism

She can’t deal with feedback, regardless of how sincere it is. You can’t give useful feedback without backfiring. She sees everything as negative feedback and feels very insulted and attacked. In any case, she is more than ready to criticize, often in an insulting way, the moment you try and say something to her.

Related Reading: How to fix an Abusive relationship

Final thoughts

Set boundaries for the things or actions you will accept and not accept from your wife. Make sure to tell her what is and isn’t acceptable when she speaks to you or about you. Let her know, in no uncertain terms, will you accept her belittling and demeaning you, your intelligence or your character.

On the off chance that she crosses your limits and calls you rude names, you’ll need to create some kind of space between the two of you. Get up and leave and disclose to her that each time she says something harmful or mean to you, you will leave her and that situation.

In no case should you continue being the victim in a relationship after identifying these signs of an abusive wife? Of course, doing all of these things might not work out. Your abusive wife might grow more aggressive. If she shows such behavior and refuses to respect you as her spouse, then it’s best to part ways for good. Living in a toxic marriage with an abusive wife won’t do you any good.

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Types of Abuse | Women Against Abuse

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Intimate partner violence can occur in many different forms.

Regardless of whether it is physical, emotional or takes some other form, abuse often follows an escalating pattern in which the controlling behaviors worsen over time.

The abusive partner may use oppression systems already set in our society to assert his or her priviledges against the other person.

Physical Abuse


Perhaps the most recognized form, physical abuse may include behaviors such as:

  • Hitting, slapping, punching, kicking
  • Burning
  • Strangulation
  • Damaging personal property
  • Refusing medical care and/or controlling medication
  • Coercing partner into substance abuse
  • Use of weapons

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse occurs when an intimate partner seeks to control his/her loved one by:

  • Name calling, insulting
  • Blaming the partner for everything
  • Extreme jealousy
  • Intimidation
  • Shaming, humiliating
  • Isolation
  • Controlling what the partner does and where the partner goes
  • Stalking

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse is not about sex. It is about power, and includes any sexual behavior performed without a partner’s consent. Examples include:

  • Forcing a partner to have sex with other people (human trafficking)
  • Pursuing sexual activity when the victim is not fully conscious or is afraid to say no
  • Hurting partner physically during sex
  • Coercing partner to have sex without protection / sabotaging birth control

Technological Abuse

This form of abuse includes the use of technology to control and stalk a partner. Technological abuse can happen to people of all ages, but it is more common among teenagers who use technology and social media in interact in a manner often unmonitored by adults. Examples include:

  • Hacking into a partner’s email and personal accounts
  • Using tracking devices in a partner’s cell phone to monitor their location, phone calls and messages
  • Monitoring interactions via social media
  • Demanding to know partner’s passwords

Click here to learn how to protect yourself from technological abuse (provided by the National Network to End Domestic Violence).

Financial Abuse

Any behavior that maintains power and control over finances constitutes financial abuse. Examples include causing a partner to lose their job through direct and indirect means, such as:

  • Inflicting physical harm or injury that would prevent the person from attending work
  • Harassing partner at their workplace
  • Controlling financial assets and effectively putting partner on an allowance
  • Damaging a partner’s credit score

Abuse by Immigration Status

There are specific tactics of abuse that may be used against immigrant partners, including:

  • Destroying immigration papers
  • Restricting partner from learning English
  • Threatening to hurt partner’s family in their home country
  • Threatening to have partner deported

It is important to remember that in the U.S. undocumented immigrants have rights and protections, and that in the case of an emergency, contacting the police should be a priority.


Women Against Abuse has bilingual staff, and also uses Language Line to provide services to people of any language. For information about resources for immigrant victims of domestic violence, contact:

  • Women Against Abuse Legal Center
  • Nationality Services Center
  • HIAS

Any of the above behaviors may be used to control or exert power over a partner, and they may be part of a larger cycle of violence and reconciliation.

If you or someone you know needs help, call our toll-free 24-hour Hotline:

1.866.723.3014

Scientific research of the Faculty of Economics. Electronic journal. Volume 1. Issue 1.

Dear reader!

Your attention is invited to a new electronic journal “Scientific research of the Faculty of Economics. Electronic Journal" . It publishes research papers carried out by scientists of Moscow State University and other research institutions and higher educational institutions. The electronic journal contains publications in the form of articles, short messages, reviews on various areas of the economic sphere of society. An important place is given to the materials of discussions and round tables.

The need for such a publication is long overdue and due to the intensity of the scientific life carried out at the Faculty of Economics. Thus, in 2008, researchers and lecturers of the Faculty of Economics of Moscow State University published 737 different papers. At the same time, the total volume of publications increased from 2114 p.p. in 2007 to 2574, 1 p.l. in 2008, i.e. by 22%. 559 articles were published (485 in 2007), with a total volume of 512 pp. (354 pp in 2007). This is almost 45% more than in 2007. The publications published by the Faculty (Bulletin of Moscow State University, the Economics series, Economic Almanac, Philosophy of Economics, etc.) cannot cope with the increased flow of finished manuscripts. But we are talking not only about expanding the possibilities for publishing in a quantitative aspect, but also about creating a qualitatively new multimedia electronic product. This approach is primarily reflected in the content of the journal and its structure. Along with general theoretical sections devoted to the methodological aspects of economic science, mathematical and statistical tools, a significant place is given to specific areas of economics, economic policy issues and economic education. The editorial policy of the journal is focused on the reflection in the articles of the main directions and topics of scientific research conducted at the Faculty of Economics in the context of the problems of world economic science. It is no coincidence that the headings of the journal take into account the names of the modern alphanumeric classification system in economic theory (Journal of Economic Literature). The editorial board of the journal sets itself an ambitious task - to make the journal recognizable among reputable economic publications and known to the world economic community, reflecting the latest achievements of economic science. Therefore, if at the first stage the Russian-language version of the journal is published, accompanied by the translation into English of the titles of articles with a brief annotation and the names of the authors, then at the second stage of the development of the journal, it will become bilingual. The scientific fame of the journal will be facilitated by openness and wide accessibility to the materials published in the journal around the clock. The magazine will be published at least twice a year. To maintain high quality, an examination of all materials will be carried out. At least one specialist with a doctorate degree in the specialty of this work can act as a reviewer. World-renowned scientists will be involved in cooperation within the framework of journals in various roles (author, reviewer, member of the editorial board and editorial board), which will also ensure the high quality of published materials.

A distinctive feature of this electronic journal is the efficiency of publishing materials received by the editorial office, since the publishing cycle will consist only of editing, proofreading and electronic preparation of materials. The reader will be able to get acquainted with the latest ideas of modern economic science and thus touch the cutting edge of science.

The activities of the journal are regulated by the Regulations on the scientific electronic journal of the Faculty of Economics of Moscow State University, as well as by regulatory documents and the current legislation of the Russian Federation.

All materials contained in the electronic resources (local and remote access) of the electronic journal are considered published and are subject to copyright.

We invite all interested parties to cooperate.

Dean of the Faculty of Economics, Moscow State University
Kolesov

Contents

Kolesov V.P. Opening speech of the editor-in-chief // Scientific research of the Faculty of Economics. Electronic journal. 2009. No. 1, p. 1-2.

Porohovsky A.A. Market development and political economy // Scientific research of the Faculty of Economics. Electronic journal. 2009. No. 1, p. 3-25.

Shastitko A.E. Clusters as a Discrete Institutional Alternative to Transaction Management // Scientific Research of the Faculty of Economics. Electronic journal. 2009. No. 1, p. 26-43.

Semenov A.L. Specificity of mergers and acquisitions in the Russian Federation. Management approach // Scientific research of the Faculty of Economics. Electronic journal. 2009. No. 1, p. 44-61.

Kalabikhina I.E., Kozlov V.A. Domestic violence against women in modern Russia: the impact of socio-demographic characteristics of spouses on the prevalence of violence // Scientific research of the Faculty of Economics. Electronic journal. 2009. No. 1, p. 62-84.

Petrin E.V. Actual aspects of determining the effectiveness and efficiency of the marketing department // Scientific research of the Faculty of Economics. Electronic journal. 2009. No. 1, p. 85-94.

Sidorenko V. N. Modeling indicators of development of the Russian energy market // Scientific research of the Faculty of Economics. Electronic journal. 2009. No. 1, p. 95-104.

Kuznetsov B.V., Aleksashenko S.V. Long-term consequences of anti-crisis policy. Dispute club "Knots of economic policy" ANCEA // Scientific research of the Faculty of Economics. Electronic journal. 2009. No. 1, p. 105-126.

Every eighth woman has experienced physical or sexual violence. Turkmenistan and UNFPA Report

Photo: depositphotos.com

Important

Kira Kramer

For the first time, Turkmenistan prepared and presented the report “The Health and Status of Women in the Family”, dedicated to violence against women.

The study, which was conducted by specialists from the Ministry of Health and Medical Industry, the State Statistics Committee, the Institute of State, Law and Democracy of Turkmenistan with the support of the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), turned out to be unexpectedly frank for an authoritarian country where any negative phenomenon is hushed up. Almost three thousand women from all regions spoke about domestic violence, both emotional and physical, abuse, the prohibition to leave the house and even beatings by husbands that lead to abortions and miscarriages, as well as social pressure and refusal to talk about this problem to "not tarnish the honor of the family."

At the same time, the authors of the report are clearly trying to isolate the head of state from criticism, mentioning him only as the initiator of a policy to increase the role of women in socio-political, economic and cultural life, as well as protect their rights, provide benefits and conditions for a decent life.

Nevertheless, the publication of such a document, which acknowledges and describes the existing problems, is an indicator of progress in the field of women's rights.

Through the report, the authors seek to determine the prevalence of various forms of violence (physical, sexual, psychological and economic) against women across the country and in the regions, to study the possible consequences for women and children, and then develop strategies to support victims of violence.

The methodology developed by WHO was used to conduct the study. That is, its results can be compared with the situation in other countries that studied the issue in terms of the same parameters.

Initially, to study the situation, surveys were conducted among women 18-59 years old in 2874 households throughout the country. The sample was then increased to 3,596 households, due to the fact that the original sample included families that did not have women in the target age group, households whose members refused to answer questions, and those who could not be found at home for the survey. As a result in Ashgabat and five velayats 2961 women were successfully interviewed.

The Chronicle of Turkmenistan summarizes the most important points from the 50-page report (although we recommend reading the complete, very well written and unique document).

Surveys of women were conducted by family doctors and doctors from the field of reproductive health, since it is to doctors that “there is a high level of trust in Turkmen society”.

Women's survey questions

Three-quarters of the respondents had an average level of education. The share of women with primary or secondary vocational education was 16%, and with higher education – 6.8%.

Most (80%) of the respondents were married, and more than 92% of the women registered marriage with the registry office. Just over 4% said they were married before the age of 18.

Comparison with neighbors in the region

Surveys showed that every eighth woman in the country (12%) has ever been subjected to physical and / or sexual violence by a spouse or partner .

“The data for Turkmenistan are closer to the results obtained in Kazakhstan (16.5%) and the South Caucasus (Azerbaijan – 14%, Armenia – 8%) than to the situation in Kyrgyzstan (26.6%) and Tajikistan (26.4%)” , the authors of the report note.

Turkmenistan is characterized by a marked difference between the prevalence of violence in the lifetime and in the last 12 months. That is, women were less likely to report violence that happened recently than about something that happened sometime in their lives. Surprisingly, the authors of the report explained this not by the success of the gender policy pursued by the authorities, but by the unwillingness or fear of women to talk about the current period of their lives.

Women are also kept away from stories of domestic violence: cultural taboos prohibiting discussion of domestic violence with outsiders, fear of retribution economic and social barriers, and normalization of domestic violence

In terms of prevalence in Turkmenistan, physical violence (11.4%) ranks first, followed by psychological (10.6) and sexual (2.7%). Women were the least likely to report sexual violence, which is associated with the particular trauma and cultural stigmatization of such an experience , as well as serious social and family pressure on victims of violence. In general, by One in six women (16%) in the country has experienced one or more forms of violence at some time in her life.

Control by a partner

More than 41% of women at least once in their life faced with different types of controlling behavior from a partner. The most common forms of control faced by every fifth woman in Turkmenistan are restrictions on a woman's leaving the house and a ban on working or studying outside the home.

“Controlling behavior is based not only on gender inequality within the family, but also on the attitude of society, which justifies both the prohibitions themselves and the punishment for their violation. Data from 2019 shows that almost 60% of women consider violation of the restrictions and obligations imposed by the control of the spouse as a sufficient reason for the wife to be beaten by the husband. This attitude of a part of society creates an environment where violence is justified as a punishment for violating gender taboos ,” the authors of the report note.

Situation by regions

According to surveys, the leader among the regions of Turkmenistan in terms of physical violence against women is Lebap velayat with 17%. The second place is occupied by Dashoguz velayat - 12.4%.

Lebap and Dashoguz velayats are also leaders in psychological violence , where every second woman faced at least one of the types of controlling behavior.

In terms of economic violence, indicators above the national average were recorded in Dashoguz, Lebap and Mary velayats - 16%, 14% and 15%, respectively. Husbands more often took away earned or accumulated money from women from these regions.

At the same time, residents of the capital were more likely to be forced to quit their jobs or refuse an offered job under pressure from their spouses. This is due to the fact that women in cities more often work outside the home, while in the regions they usually receive income from the sale of products from their own household plots.

But the prevalence rate of sexual violence in the city of Ashgabat is higher than in the velayats.

The fact is that the attitude towards sexual violence in marriage in Turkmenistan is formed by cultural rules and prohibitions that do not allow it to be perceived as violence in principle . “It is possible that the urban environment in Ashgabat gives more access to information about the rights of women in marriage, reproductive and psychological health of the family, and thus helps the respondents to overcome established prohibitions and the normalization of violent actions, as well as to talk about problems,” the authors explain this fact. research.

In general, the prevalence of physical violence in urban areas was 10.7% versus 12% in rural areas. The same slight difference is observed in the prevalence of psychological and sexual violence. However, controlling behavior is more common in rural areas (45. 7%) than in urban areas (35.5%). Among the types of psychological violence in Turkmenistan, intimidation and insults are the most common .

Age and education

The report also examined the dependence of the level of violence on the woman's age, education, marital status and age at first marriage. Thus, the older women got, the more often they reported violence . By the age of 50-59, the proportion of such women reached its maximum - 15% spoke about physical violence, 13% - about psychological. Also divorced women were the most likely to report violence .

But women who entered into their first marriage before the age of 18 are more likely to face an increased risk of physical violence - almost 25% versus 10% of those who married after 18 years of age. Lebap velayat is also the leader in the number of early marriages.

The authors write that there are few cases of sexual violence in Turkmenistan. 2.4% of women were forced by their partner to have sexual intercourse with him against their will, using physical force, and 1.2% were forced to have sexual intercourse against their will, because of fear of the partner's actions.

The study showed a small number of cases of sexual violence by strangers - 0.3%. 1.6% of all respondents became victims of sexual violence in childhood - up to 15 years. “The results obtained confirm the trend repeatedly noted in international studies. The main source of the threat of violence against women are not persons outside the family, namely family members ,” the report notes.

In addition, in most cases, partner violence is not an isolated incident, but a recurring phenomenon.

One third of all women who experienced physical and/or sexual violence received bodily injuries of varying severity. 5.5% of respondents needed medical care, but Most did not report the abuse to medical personnel .

One in five women surveyed experienced violence during pregnancy and almost one in ten women reported that a partner kicked or hit her in the abdomen. Among the survivors of physical and sexual violence, more than a third of the respondents (33.5%) resorted to abortion, 26% had a miscarriage, 6.3% gave birth to stillborn children.

Silence of women

Most women who have experienced domestic violence do not tell anyone about it. Only about 40% of those surveyed said they had told someone about their experience. Most often - to parents, less often - to the husband's family and other members of his family. Again, urban dwellers talk about this more often. If every second urban woman reported violence (in most cases to her parents), then only one in four did so in rural areas.

Affected women very rarely contacted local authorities and representatives of public organizations. To the question "Why?", half of the women did not answer, and a third reported that "did not want to tarnish the honor of the family. "

“Public pressure continues to be one of the leading factors that encourage women to remain silent about violence and not seek help and protection,” the authors of the report write, adding that one in ten women also answered that “violence is normal or not a serious reason ” to talk about them .

The document's authors describe it as "alarming" that the majority (more than 80%) of those who seek help do so when the situation is reaching the breaking point and the woman "could not take it anymore". Thus, a quarter of the respondents asked for help because of the fear that their husband would kill, and another quarter - after his threats to children and the use of physical violence against them .

One third of the women subjected to violence answered that they did not want to receive help from anyone. Of those who would like to receive it, they expected it from their family and the husband's family, and not from the relevant bodies and organizations.

Recommendations

Based on the results of the study, the leadership of Turkmenistan was given the following recommendations:

• to develop a roadmap for the prevention of domestic violence;

• improve the legislation of Turkmenistan (including developing and adopting the Law on Domestic Violence ) to strengthen the protection of the rights of victims, since “one of the causes of domestic violence is the insufficient representation of domestic violence as a social problem in national legislation”;

• build a coordinated system of interagency response to domestic violence;

• expand measures to prevent gender discrimination, domestic and other types of violence against women, gender stereotypes, and traditional and new practices that reproduce gender inequality.

The preparation of such a candid report is not typical for Turkmenistan.

Neither the state-run or pro-government Turkmen publications nor their friendly Russian publications reported on its publication.

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