New book on introverts
15 Best Books for Introverts for 2021
Skip to contentPublished: February 23, 2021 Updated: August 26, 2022
Published: 02/23/2021 Updated: 08/26/2022
Introverted people are quiet, sometimes shy, and thrive on alone time. Our fast-paced society, however, can tend to favor extroverted, outgoing people who are more active in their social circles. If you’re an introverted person, you likely have had at least a few people tell you to “just get out there!”
But extrovert strategies don’t work for introverts, and introverts have their own strengths to tap into. Whether you’re looking for a push out of your comfort zone or want to understand yourself better, here are some of the best books for introverts.
For our audience’s convenience, we include links to Amazon so recommended books can be easily purchased. Choosing Therapy may earn a commission from Amazon when purchases are made using the links on this page. Read more about our high editorial standards and advertising policy.
Books For Introverts Who Want to Understand Their Introvert Selves
You don’t always have to change to adapt to an extroverted world, but understanding your introversion is one way to help better prepare yourself for the world around you. These books are to help you realize your strengths and identify where you can grow.
1. The Introvert Advantage: How Quiet People Can Thrive in an Extrovert World, by Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D.
If you’re energized by alone time or thrive in situations on your own, you’re an introvert, and you have a great tool at your disposal. There’s often a lot of pressure for introverts to not be introverted, but Laney argues that introverts have unique skills that often just need a bit of practical tweaking to help them take advantage of their skills.
2. Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength, by Laurie Helgoe Ph.D.
Our fast-paced culture tends to celebrate extroversion.
Dr. Helgoe, however, says that when introverts claim their power for themselves, they’re able to live fuller, more sincere lives.
Dr. Helgoe offers advice on how to build a slower tempo into your life, claim your space, and embrace your inner power.
3. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in A World That Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain
This New York Times-bestseller is considered a must-read for anyone who’s introverted or dealing with introverts. Author Susan Cain researched the rise of the “Extrovert Ideal” throughout U.S. history and argues that we don’t appreciate introverts the way we should, especially in business.
It’s not all talk either; Cain highlights successful introverts, from high-sales businessmen to energetic public speakers, to see how they use their introversion with power, not defeat.
4. The Awakened Introvert: Practical Mindfulness Skills to Help You Maximize Your Strengths and Thrive in a Loud and Crazy World, by Arnie Kozak, Ph.D.
Extroverts get their energy from interaction with others.
But introverts get energy from reflection and solitude. It only makes sense then, that introverts would benefit greatly from a regular mindfulness practice.
Dr. Kozak takes readers through this step-by-step workbook to help introverts create a daily practice that keeps them steady and mentally healthy.
5. Quiet Influence: The Introvert’s Guide to Making a Difference Paperback, by Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.
This book explores the six strengths of introverts and helps readers understand how well they’re using their strengths through a series of practical applications, question prompts, and more.
Dr. Kahnweiler does this through her Quiet Influence Quotient, a quiz introverts can take to better understand where they stand on the introverted spectrum.
6. The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D.
While not all introverts are highly sensitive, there is a lot of overlap. If you find yourself overwhelmed easily, craving alone time every day, or just simply more sensitive than your peers, you’re likely a highly sensitive person.
Dr. Aron lines out a series of tools and exercises to help you identify what triggers your sensitivity and provides practical applications to help you get through the day. If you find that you’re introverted because you’re sensitive, then this guide might be for you.
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Books for Introverted Parents & Children
Whether you’re an introverted parent or raising an introverted child, here are a few books to help you better understand yourself and your child so you can both live fulfilling, truthful lives.
7. Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverted Kids, by Susan Cain
After writing the original Quiet, Cain quickly discovered adults aren’t the only ones who need help understanding their introversion. Quiet Power is written for kids, parents, and teachers, and provides examples of introverted kids adapting to their world as well as tips and discussion prompts.
8. The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child: Helping Your Child Thrive in an Extroverted World, by Marti Olsen Laney Psy.D.
Shy children are often met with concern and worry. Are they adjusted enough? Do they have enough friends? Will they have all the development they need to succeed in the world and live a fulfilling life?
Dr. Laney thinks they do – they just need someone to recognize their unique talents. Introverted children are in touch with their emotions, creative problem solvers, and love to learn. This book is great for parents who want to better understand their children and help them grow in ways that benefit the special touch they bring to the world.
9. Introverted Mom: Your Guide to More Calm, Less Guilt, and Quiet Joy, by Jamie C. Martin
Moms have a lot on their plate. Family life can be loud and overwhelming, especially for introverted mothers craving some quiet. It can be easy to feel guilty that you’re “not like other moms,” or maybe you feel overwhelmed by your role as a mother. Regardless, Martin is here with stories from other introverted mothers to tell you that you’re not alone. She also offers practical advice and inspiring quotes from other famous introverts; Jane Austen, Laura Ingalls Wilder, and more.
A good read for those looking to embrace their introverted selves and know they’re not alone in motherhood.
10. The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When The World Overwhelms Them, by Elaine N. Aron Ph.D.
Whether you’re a fellow highly sensitive person (HSP) or find yourself the parent of one, this book is here to help you and your child thrive in an environment not always suited to them.
Highly sensitive children, when parented incorrectly, can become act out or be labeled as problem children. But much like HSPs, carefully considering their strengths can help them bloom, and understanding their weaknesses can help them grow. The Highly Sensitive Child is a guidebook for parents who want to see their children grow into healthy adults.
Books to Inspire Introverts
Maybe you’re looking for a push. Maybe you’re ready to step out of your comfort zone. If that’s you, then take a look at these books from authors who decided to do the same thing.
11. Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come: One Introvert’s Year of Saying Yes, by Jessica Pan
Maybe you’re proud of being an introvert, but you’re also looking to see how you can challenge yourself. Or at the very least, you want to see how it might look like for one introvert to force themselves to be extroverted for a time.
That’s what Jessica Pan, a self-proclaimed introvert, decided to do for one year.
Even if you can’t bring yourself to do some of the things she does (travel alone, make friends on the road, perform stand-up comedy) you might still get a kick out of this light-hearted, fun read.
12. The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin
If you’re feeling caged in by your life, you might be a lot like Gretchen Rubin. After an epiphany on a bus, she realized she wasn’t focusing on the things that brought her joy anymore. So, over the course of a year, she tried everything she could to find happiness again.
While Ruben may not be an introvert exactly, other introverts might find comfort in her tale, and be encouraged to pursue the things in their own life they actually enjoy.
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Books For Introverts at Work
Let’s face it: most career advice isn’t helpful to introverts. Talking to strangers, speaking up at meetings, and generally being more outgoing aren’t easy skills for quiet people. You’re not without options, however, and these books can help you use your introverted skills to climb the corporate ladder.
13. Surrounded by Idiots: The Four Types of Human Behavior and How to Effectively Communicate with Each in Business (and in Life), by Thomas Erikson
Communicating with others is, at the best of times, difficult. At the worst of times, it’s frustrating for all involved. Thomas Erikson realized this after a meeting with an entrepreneur that left him befuddled and overall confused about how unproductive the entire conversation was. He began studying how different people communicate and what you can do to effectively understand each other.
For introverts who have a hard time understanding others, this is a helpful tool.
14. Networking for People Who Hate Networking: A Field Guide for Introverts, the Overwhelmed, and the Underconnected, by Devora Zack
There’s nothing wrong with being introverted, but career goals can tend to favor those who are far more outgoing than you might be. That’s not meant to discourage you, Devora Zack says, however. Rather, it’s about understanding your strengths and playing to them in a way that is both truthful to you and aligns you with your goals. Networking is a difficult skill for most, but this book is here to help.
15. The Genius of Opposites: How Introverts and Extroverts Achieve Extraordinary Results Together, by Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.
History is full of successful opposite pairs. Introvert/extrovert pairs are responsible for art, history, and music. What makes these partnerships successful, Dr. Kahnweiler argues, is not emphasizing their differences, but understanding what it takes to get results.
If you need to see how introverts work with others or want validation that introverts can be successful, then this is a good read.
When to See a Therapist for Introversion
For most, there’s nothing wrong with being introverted. But if your shyness is keeping you from accomplishing goals or inhibiting your life, then it may be time to find a therapist. They can assist you with finding coping mechanisms to get through your day-to-day and give you the tools you need to live life to the fullest. If you’ve never looked for a therapist, directories are a great place to start.
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The 32 Best Books for Introverts (To Read in 2022)
Do you remember that horrible day when your first or second-grade teacher asked you to read aloud? …Yeah…that day!
I don’t remember exactly when that happened, but I do remember exactly what I said and thought.
Instead of reading, I asked questions “Why do I have to do that? The rest of the class does not know how to read? Don’t they have the same book in front?”
Needless to say that no matter how much I protested to perform that useless act, in the end, I had to comply… I was a child.
However, that cost me dearly. To this day, reading aloud is something I dread doing; not because I don’t know how to read, but because always feels like a test.
Our society is pushing us, more and more, to change who we are; if you’re an introvert…“how dare you to be quiet in a loud world?”
Most introverts are seen as rebels because refuse to comply with things that don’t make sense to us.
If you’re an introvert, do you see the point of becoming famous? Especially being famous for being famous? Most probably not.
That doesn’t happen because you’re too shy to be in the spotlight, but because you don’t see the point of it. Is it not?
Introverts are not a minority; studies show they are almost half of the population.
Then, how come being an introvert is viewed as something negative? How come you’re asked to change? How come you’re not allowed to love and accept yourself as you are?
The introverts have a significant contribution to a better society. Introverts are:
- Observant
- Emphatic
- Active listeners
- Cautious
- Creative
- Peacemakers
… And some more
Therefore, don’t change who you are, but become self-disciplined to use being an introvert to make a difference in the world, fearless and deliberately.
You’ll find in this article, the best books for introverts that can help you take advantage of who you are, make your life better, know yourself better.
You’ll not find in this list, books about how to overcome being an introvert because it’s not something you should overcome but celebrate.
Understanding Yourself Better
If you too feel that your environment is asking you to change your nature (being an introvert), the following books can be an eye-opener into the reasons why you are enough as you are, being an introvert can be an advantage, and why you might be (as an introvert) a sunshine for those around you.
Understand yourself better by reading (one or more) of the following books. These books will change your mind and help you give yourself permission to embrace being an introvert.
Table of Contents
- Understanding Yourself Better
- 1. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking – Susan Cain
- 2. The Introvert’s Edge: How the Quiet and Shy Can Outsell Anyone – Matthew Pollard, Derek Lewis
- 3. The Introvert Advantage: How Quiet People Can Thrive in an Extrovert World – Marti Olsen Laney Psy.D.
- 4. The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World (Perigee Book) – Sophia Dembling
- 5. The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World – Jenn Granneman, Adrianne Lee
- 6. Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength – Laurie Helgoe Ph.D.
- 7. The Introvert Entrepreneur: Amplify Your Strengths and Create Success on Your Own Terms – Beth Buelow
- 8. Self-Promotion for Introverts: The Quiet Guide to Getting Ahead – Nancy Ancowitz
- 9.
Networking for People Who Hate Networking: A Field Guide for Introverts, the Overwhelmed, and the Underconnected – Devora Zack - 10. The Genius of Opposites: How Introverts and Extroverts Achieve Extraordinary Results Together – Jennifer B. Kahnweiler
- 11. Introvert Survival Tactics: How to Make Friends, Be More Social, and Be Comfortable In Any Situation (When You’re People’d Out and Just Want to Go Home And Watch TV Alone) – Patrick King
- 12. Predictably Irrational, Revised and Expanded Edition: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions – Dr. Dan Ariely
- 13. The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias – Dolly Chugh, Laszlo Bock
- 14. Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong – Eric Barker
- 15. Be the Magic of You: Tools to Transform Your Life! – Teri Karjala, Jack Canfield
- 16. Braving the Wilderness: The quest for true belonging and the courage to stand alone – Brene Brown
- The power of observation
- 17.
An Anthropologist On Mars: Seven Paradoxical Tales – Oliver Sacks - 18. Look: A Practical Guide for Improving Your Observational Skills – James H. Gilmore
- 19. Think Like Sherlock: Creatively Solve Problems, Think with Clarity, Make Insightful Observations & Deductions, and Develop Quick & Accurate Instincts – Peter Hollins
- Shyness
- 20. Overcoming Shyness: Break Out of Your Shell and Express Your True Self – Erik Myers
- 21. Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate: A User Guide to an Asperger Life – Cynthia Kim
- 22. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 – Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves, Patrick M. Lencioni
- Communication and Connecting
- 23. Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do Differently – John C. Maxwell
- 24. The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork: Embrace Them and Empower Your Team – John C. Maxwell
- 25. How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships – Leil Lowndes
- 26.
Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging – Sebastian Junger- Self-discipline
- 27. Mini Habits: Smaller Habits, Bigger Results – Stephen Guise
- 28. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success – Carol S. Dweck
- 29. David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants – Malcolm Gladwell
- 30. The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference – Malcolm Gladwell
- 31. Quiet Kids: Help Your Introverted Child Succeed in an Extroverted World – Christine Fonseca
- 32. Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverted Kids – Susan Cain, Gregory Mone, Erica Moroz, Grant Snider
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“The highly sensitive [introverted] tend to be philosophical or spiritual in their orientation, rather than materialistic or hedonistic.
They dislike small talk.
They often describe themselves as creative or intuitive.
They dream vividly, and can often recall their dreams the next day.
They love music, nature, art, physical beauty.
They feel exceptionally strong emotions (sometimes acute bouts of joy, but also sorrow, melancholy, and fear).
Highly sensitive people also process information about their environments (both physical and emotional) unusually deeply.
They tend to notice subtleties that others miss (another person’s shift in mood, say, or a lightbulb burning a touch too brightly).” – Susan Cain
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“Words for Introverts to Live By
Be Playful.
Take breaks
Appreciate your inside world
Be authentic
Enjoy curiosity
Stay in harmony
Revel in solitude
Be grateful
Be you
Remember, let your light shine” – Marti Olsen Laney
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10/21/2022 01:51 am GMT
“It’s not that introverts aren’t good team players. We just don’t need to be in the same room as the rest of the team at all times.
We would much prefer to have part of the project carved out for us to squirrel away with it in our offices, consulting as necessary but working independently.” – Sophia Dembling
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“You don’t have to transform yourself into an extrovert to succeed in life or work.
As an introvert, what works for you on the job is going to be different from what works for an extrovert – and that’s okay. Give yourself permission to do things that play to your introvert strengths and needs. You can be dazzling in your own quiet way.” – Jenn Granneman
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“As an introvert, you can be your own best friend or your worst enemy.
The good news is we generally like our own company, a quality that extroverts often envy. We find comfort in solitude and know how to soothe ourselves.” – Laurie Helgoe
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“Building points of connectivity with others is a critical component of successful networking.
Discovering links of commonality with others sharpens our receptivity to maintaining connections.
Introverts’ ability to focus and ask well-formed questions means an innate ability to forge real connections. Conversations go deeper, catapulting relationships into a new dimension.” – Devora Zack
Related: 8 Best Networking Books for Introverts
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The power of observationWisdom comes mainly from observation. As an introvert, most likely, you are a master observer.
The following books can help you improve your power of observation and implicitly your wisdom. You are a natural-born observer; these books help you take advantage of it.
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10/21/2022 12:10 am GMT
ShynessYes, some of us (introverts) are shy. I am a shy person; I don’t see it as something to be not proud nor ashamed of. It is simply a part of how I am. Because of that, I don’t want to change it.
However, if you think you’re painfully shy and want to tame your shyness, the following books can help you do it.
Remind yourself that being shy is not the problem, but allowing your shyness to stop you be who you want to be, might be an issue.
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Communication and Connecting
Let’s be honest, for us (introverts) communication and connecting with other are not always easy.
Because we like silence, we prefer to communicate mostly through body language. Even though that makes up the most significant part of communication, it’s not enough. Is it?
Because as an introvert you are a master observer you might think that those around you have this power too.
That is not the case. Extroverts rarely take the time to look around…they first act… So, don’t expect people to know what you mean without saying it.
Did you know that one of the secrets to a happy life is being connected? If connecting to other doesn’t come naturally to you, you must learn it.
You must learn how to communicate and connect with others so that you can build your support system, long lasting and meaningful relationships, and how to find the environments that fit you (not struggling to fit in.)
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Self-discipline
As an introvert, you might have been ostracized and asked (again and again) to change. If you felt inadequate as a consequence of that pressure, you might struggle with self-discipline.
What people don’t understand, either fear, either want to change. Being a reserved person living into a loud world might have made you a target for others to try to impose on you their way of doing things.
Plus, because you’re rarely talking about yourself and your achievements, those around you might think you don’t know “the right way” of doing things.
Thus, they barged into your life uninvited offering you unsolicited advice and life lessons.
Because that happens quite often to introverts, we sometimes question ourselves and lose focus on our goals. Self-discipline contains the word “self” not only because it’s about disciplining yourself but also because “the self” should dictate about what you are disciplined and how.
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Help Your Introverted Child Be Happy
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A selection of books about introverts / Note to introverts
Portal MakeRight.
ru has prepared for you a selection of useful books that tell you how introverts can turn their character traits into advantages: ”) by Martin Olsen Laney
Introverts are thoughtful, imaginative, individualistic and think outside the box. Introverts are attentive observers and listeners. Introverts prefer to communicate one on one and usually lead a rich spiritual life. Introverts are not sociopaths, not downtrodden and shy people, as many people for some reason believe.
But they are in the minority. In our world, there are about three times more extroverts than introverts. Therefore, introverts often cannot be understood not only by their families and loved ones, but even by themselves.
In this book, a practicing psychotherapist and leading U.S. expert on introversion combines his wealth of experience and scientific research to dissuade introverts from the fact that something is wrong with them and help them see and appreciate their strengths - analytical skills , creativity, ability to high concentration.
In addition, the book contains practical advice on how to improve relationships with people of different temperaments in the family, at work and among friends.
Electronic
Paper
Introverts. How to use the features of your character, by Susan Cain
The practice of building a career familiar to a modern person requires sociability, pressure and the ability to present oneself. Society encourages the manifestation of these qualities, thus contributing to a kind of "natural selection".
Public opinion puts enormous pressure on us. What to do with a person who does not meet the established standards? Susan Cain convinces us that introverts are just as capable as extroverts of coping with complex tasks. And sometimes, due to the peculiarities of their temperament, they manage to do it much better.
This book is for modest and quiet people who do not want to be the center of attention and constantly doubt their abilities. For introverts who want to achieve success by the standards of society, while remaining themselves, as well as for their antipodes - extroverts.
Electronic
Paper
Introvert leader. How to Succeed in a Society Ruled by Extroverts by Jennifer Kahnweiler
The image of a leader that is ingrained in people's minds has pronounced extraverted features. However, there are many introverts in the world who want or are forced to act as a leader. Often, their attempts to behave like extroverts, to change their nature to suit other people's expectations, turn into huge nervous tension, mental discomfort and, as a result, depression. It's not good for your career either. Can’t an introvert who doesn’t want to “break” himself a priori be a highly effective leader? Of course it can!
The four-step sequence of actions outlined in the book will help introverts cope with most situations that require unusual openness and sociability from them, teach them to make the most of their strengths and build relationships with people from the position of a self-confident person.
Electronic
Paper
"Networking for Introverts" by Devora Zak
After analyzing traditional networking techniques, the author of the book came to the conclusion that they were written for extroverts.
But what about the rest of the people - those who hate noisy parties, self-promotion and bragging, and prefer to spend most of their time alone? Do they really not need useful connections and business acquaintances? Not at all. Devora Zach is devising new rules - the rules of networking for introverts - thereby turning this art into a useful and enjoyable activity. The book contains many valuable tips and tricks that apply to the goals of networking, taking into account the characteristics of the temperament of introverts, and instructive examples from the author's many years of experience make the book a truly fascinating read that introverts love so much.
Electronic
Career for introverts. How to Build Authority and Get the Promotion You Deserve by Nancy Enkowitz
Introverts often get a promotion or a new exciting position under their noses, while their extroverted colleagues get a lot of attention. This book will help correct the situation.
Nancy Enkowitz offers specific exercises to determine which personal promotion methods are right for you.
The author gives specific advice and offers tools to use your strengths, helps you plan, set goals and take action.
After reading this book, you will learn:
- how to turn your introversion into an advantage;
- articulate what makes you stand out from the crowd;
- create a personal promotion plan;
- identify their target "customers";
- to formulate their personal strategies.
Electronic
Paper
“My child is an introvert. How to Uncover Hidden Talents and Prepare for Social Life by Martin Olsen Laney
Children-introverts often remain without understanding by others, including without understanding by their own parents. A child may be happy and satisfied with two or three very close friends, but the parents will feel that he is unpopular. A child may be very interested in his inner world, but from the outside he will seem shy or a sociopath.
In fact, introverted children are creative, love to learn, have high emotional intelligence and do not suffer from vanity.
Parents do not need to think that “something is wrong” with an introverted child. He should be helped to become what he wants, and not put pressure on him with the requirements "to be like everyone else."
The book includes a questionnaire to help you determine where your child is on the introversion-extroversion scale, to help your child use their strengths to excel in sports, school, and socializing in an extroverted world.
Electronic
Paper
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Jenn Granneman
The Secret Life of Introverts
The Art of Surviving the Loud World of Extroverts
Jenn Granneman
THE SECRET LIVES OF INTROVERTS:
Inside Our Hidden World
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the copyright holders.
Series “Psychology. Higher Course»
© 2017 by Jenn Granneman
© E. Harkhanov, Russian translation, 2018
© LLC AST Publishing House, 2018
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Reviews of the book
Jenn Granneman is perhaps one of the most sensitive and thoughtful writers on introverts today. <...> This book clearly demonstrates what any introvert has to go through, and helps to hear your own quiet voice among the surrounding noise.
Susan Cain, author of Introverts. How to use the features of your character ”(Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World, That Can’t Stop Talking) and the creator of the Internet portal Quiet Revolution
Introverts love mysteries, and here Jenn Granneman reveals many of them to us - we finally know what they think, feel and dream about, how their brain works, why they get hangovers without wine how to find the perfect partner and the right job, and how to be themselves in today's crazy world.
And besides, we are shown the hidden wisdom of introverts - without cumbersome prefaces and empty reasoning.
Dr. Laurie Helgoe, author of Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength
Be aware of the challenges you face as an introvert. The author gives the necessary support and becomes your reliable guide in this crazy world. <...> Telling fascinating stories from her personal experience along with the latest scientific research, Jenn Granneman not only entertains us, but also argues her point of view, consistently fulfilling her mission to convince introverts around the world that they are the same as everyone else.
This edition is addressed to all those who look calm on the outside, but are really cheerful and energetic inside.Nancy Ancowitz, business coach and author of Self-Promotion for Introverts It exposes many common misconceptions about introversion It is an excellent and detailed guide to the world of introverts that reminds them that they are not alone in their understanding of life and informs everyone else about the virtues of introverts and their right to be happy, to be like everyone else
Brenda Knowles, creator of the Space2Live Internet portal and author of The Quiet Rise of Introverts: 8 Practices for Living and Loving in a Noisy World
The author managed to show not only all the magic of the inner world of introverts, but also the joy that they are able to calmly share with others, if you get to know them a little better.
Adam S. McHugh, author of Introverts in the Church and The Listening Life
Book - new Bible for these amazing people. It contains everything you need to understand such a quality as introversion, and use it for your own good. The author managed to find the perfect balance between fascinating real life examples and a compelling scientific justification for introversion, with which one simply cannot disagree. True to her nature as an introvert, Grannemann explains in detail and at length many of the challenges an introvert faces in an extroverted world.
Michaela Chung, author of The Irresistible Introvert: Harness The Power of Quiet Charisma in a Loud World
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She describes many of the difficult situations familiar to anyone who is struggling to cope with their calm personality.
Debbie Tung, author of Quiet Girl in a Noisy World and creator of Where's My Bubble
This book will be of interest to everyone - both introverts and extroverts. From the first pages, those introverts who are used to feeling out of place and perceiving themselves as different from everyone else will finally find a soul mate. <…> Jenn's warmth and her amazing ability to connect with the reader make this helpful and inspiring book a must read. Personally, I had a lot of fun while reading it, and you will definitely like it too!
Aaron Caycedo-Kimura, author of Text, Don't Call: An Illustrated Guide to the Introverted Life
This is one of the best books about the potential of introverts that I read.
The author's disarming honesty about how hard it is to be an introvert in our crazy world, populated by crowds of people delving into their papers, will certainly come in handy for all those who used to consider themselves "overly receptive." Jenn Granneman gave me a new personal mantra: "When you are alone, you are free."
Lauren Sapala, author of The INFJ Writer [1] (The INFJ Writer: Cracking the Creative Genius of the World's Rarest Type)
2 Reading this book, I seemed to learn to understand the language of introverts. Jenn Granneman's candid and expressive description of their features made me constantly nod in agreement and underline entire paragraphs. It is wonderful to realize that we are not alone in the world, even in our desire for peace and solitude.Nanea Hoffman, creator of Sweatpants & Coffee
This book is written for all introverts who feel different.
Filled with useful tips for all occasions - from career growth to choosing a partner - it makes you think and provides answers to many questions.
Thea Orozco, Introvertology Business Trainer
Initiation
I dedicate this book to my grandfather John Granneman and uncle Dave Granneman, both of whom passed away when I wrote it.
Grandpa John was interested in the history of the Wild West, liked black coffee, always read the morning paper from cover to cover and often rolled homemade cigarettes at the kitchen table. He was a calm and taciturn person and once admitted to me that he always felt like an introvert.
As for Uncle Dave, he loved stories about flying saucers and conspiracy theories, and when he got the hang of it, he could talk for hours. He was not just an extrovert, but a truly legendary person.
John Granneman
04/23/1925–01/23/2017.
David Granneman
04/12/1949–02/25/2017.
Foreword
Dear introvert, one of my earliest childhood memories is of my father holding a microphone to my lips and telling me a story. “Okay,” I thought. "Surely it's not that hard." I used to tell stories to myself many times in the evenings, lying in bed, despite the fact that I still could not read and write.
So I closed my eyes and imagined a horse playing with other animals in a green meadow. Like many introverted children, I had a rich, vivid imagination. This fictional fantasy seemed to me as real as the whole world around me, which included my parents, pets and soft toys. The horse and her friends decide to race to see who is faster. They raced through the fields strewn with flowers, jumping over sparkling streams, and suddenly the horse waved its small transparent wings and flew ...
Suddenly my father interrupted my thoughts.
“You need to tell your story out loud,” he said, nodding toward the microphone. “So that I can write it down.”
I looked at the microphone, then at my father, but didn't know what to say. I was required to express out loud everything that was stored inside me. How could ordinary words convey all the amazing images I see in my mind? And how could I describe them to others?
Catching my indecision, my father decided to help me. "Just tell me what you're thinking right now," he prompted, as if it were very easy.
But I just physically couldn't do it. I continued to silently look at my father. The mysterious world of my imagination was in no hurry to come out. The father became nervous, probably deciding that his only daughter was not only stubborn, but also completely unimaginative. And the whole point was that I simply had no idea how to put into words my inner feelings. Nevertheless, it seemed to me that somehow, using his living mind, my father could understand what I meant.
But he was unable to penetrate my thoughts. And a microphone connected to a conventional cassette player (it was in the eighties) could not catch them. Eventually my father gave in and stopped trying to write my story down.
This incident, unfortunately, was not the last time when my silence embarrassed and upset those around me. I had to carry this feeling of a gap between my imagination and the outside world through most of my life.
If you are an introvert like me, then you probably have your secrets too. You often think about things that cannot be expressed in words, and your head is full of brilliant ideas that no one suspects. Perhaps the whole secret is that you feel lonely even when surrounded by many people. Or maybe you're behaving a certain way just because you feel like you're must do so. Perhaps you dream of meeting the only one who can truly see you and understand what is really going on in your head.
This book is about such secrets. If you are an introvert, then you will definitely learn the whole truth about yourself from it, but most importantly, you will finally feel that you are really understood.
Thank you for agreeing to share this journey with me. If you have experiences like the ones I just talked about, then I hope that they will stop tormenting you after reading this book.
sincerely yours,
Calm Jenn
Chapter 1
is dedicated to all calm peopleWhen I was twelve years old, I could call myself truly happy. I had many girlfriends, and it seemed to all of us that we would always be together. We loved to spend the night at each other's and share our secrets, lying in bed. We spied on this guy who lived next door and his buddies, and we also made fun of the boys we liked. We filled the pages of diaries with our fantasies and vivid dreams of the future. And we even promised each other that we, as adults, would gather every year on Independence Day on the hill near the school. So we could always be present in each other's field of vision.
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