Negative interpersonal communication
5 Signs You Have Bad Interpersonal Skills
"When asked to rate the importance of having good interpersonal skills at work on a scale of 1 to 5, managers rated this at 4.37."
Interpersonal skills refer to one’s ability to communicate effectively with another person or a group of people, be it personally or professionally.
At work, are you one whom everyone finds a joy to interact with, or are you known as the ‘office grump’? The latter, being someone who is always sulking, complaining and grumpy at every little thing.
According to CareerAddict, an online career consultancy, when asked to rate the importance of having good interpersonal skills at work on a scale of 1 to 5, managers rated this at 4.37. This is the second most important skill after teamwork, which stands at 4.49.
Thus, it is a fact that substantial verbal and diplomatic skills are required to interact effectively at work.
Are you one with the following traits? If you are, it is time for you to take control and try to eliminate them.
1. Overloaded with emotions
If you are one who gets frustrated and angry easily, i.e. one who lets emotions get in the way without conscious control, you are more likely seen as an impatient hothead.
Emotional outbursts can be threatening to co-workers and can result in low productivity in a team setting. Learn how to cool it.
The next time you feel like you are about to burst, try these:
- Quickly excuse yourself, walk it off.
- Calm yourself down by taking deep breaths.
- Drink a cup of tea or coffee.
- Be alone for the next 15 minutes.
Chances are, you would have calmed down by then and able to think clearer by the time you resume your work.
2. Lack of self-confidence
It’s normal to feel challenged when you climb up the career ladder, or when given a big project to manage, or even replacing someone else’s roles in a short notice.
In this scenario, learn to believe in yourself because if you don’t, then no one will.
Find out what is causing you to lack confidence and address this area of concern courageously. For example, if it’s the lack of training, speak to your superior or arrange a training session to improve what’s needed.
If you are one who gives up easily during challenging times, you can expect not to go far. Organisations are always looking for people who are resilient through difficult times, given their best and encouraged teammates to stay the course as well.
4. Reluctant to coach
Those who are willing to help others in their career by sharing their knowledge and skills are seen as team players who can accelerate an organisation’s growth. If you are one who can’t coach or mentor your fellow teammates, or worse, reluctant to, then you are more likely to be perceived as a selfish person.
Helping others through knowledge-exchange and providing feedback will not only accelerate their career growth, it will help enhance yours too.
5. Refuse to network
If you don’t let people know how good you are in what you do, they might never find out. If you don’t network well and connect with the right people, you will be the one losing out.
Learn to speak about your achievements and skills with people of influence who can help you soar higher. When networking, you can practise:
1. Smiling
People are more likely to warm up to someone who says hello with a broad smile than those with serious, grumpy expressions.
2. Asking questions
Build your credibility by asking questions to the group you are interacting with before barging in with an opinion.
3. Listening
After asking questions, don’t forget that you need to listen to what they’re saying first! Mastering the art of listening with sincerity can help you build a lasting rapport.
Concluding thoughts
Many of us may have encountered similar situations in our day-to-day interactions, and are only aware of our shortcomings or unintentional behaviours after it happened.
It’s never too late to learn the importance of interpersonal skills at work, so let’s try to change some of our bad habits. Together, let’s make workplaces a conducive place to thrive and grow as individual and corporate contributors.
Signs of Poor Interpersonal Skills
What are Interpersonal Skills?
Interpersonal skills include a wide variety of skills, such as; using effective communication, listening, questioning and understanding body language. They also include the skills and attributes associated with emotional intelligence, or being able to understand and manage your own and others’ emotions.
What are some of the signs of poor interpersonal skills?
• Unable to work as a team
• Lack of mutual respect of others views and opinions, and no sense of trust
• Lack of honesty and transparency
• No sense of commitment, trust or care in important relationships
• Criticism, sarcasm and/or making fun of others
• Lack of listening skills and understanding body language
• Inability to use emotional intelligence
• Not being aware of another persons’ presence, and missing verbal and non-verbal messages
• Inability to understand and manage your own or others’ emotions
What is meant by Interpersonal Skills?
Interpersonal skills are the skills we use every day when we communicate and interact with other people, both individually and in groups.
Strong interpersonal skills, such as negotiating, problem-solving and knowledge-sharing, are the main requirements in order to work well with each other and to achieve important objectives.
Interpersonal Skills and Effective Communication Skills
Here are some interpersonal skills which contribute towards effectiveness:
What are some of the Barriers to Good Communication Skills?
Communication is rarely perfect and can fail for a number of reasons. Understanding more about the various barriers to good communication means that you can be aware of and can reduce the likelihood of ineffective interpersonal communication and misunderstandings.
Problems with communication can arise for a number of reasons, such as:
- Physical barriers, for example, being unable to see or hear the speaker properly, or language difficulties;
- Emotional barriers, such as not wanting to hear what is being said, or engage with that topic; and
- Expectations and prejudices that affect what people see and hear.
There are some circumstances which communication is more difficult and can make conversations more difficult:
- Various emotions can get in the way of communicating, including anger and aggression, or stress. Few of us are able to communicate effectively when we are struggling to manage our emotions, and sometimes the best thing that can be done is to postpone the conversation until everyone is calmer
- Difficult conversations are often about the need for change. Many of us find change hard to manage, especially if it is associated with an implied criticism of existing ways of working.
- Anyone has the ability to improve their interpersonal skills and there are a range of proven strategies and techniques which can effectively improve interpersonal skills.
Unhealthy, outdated behaviour patterns can be replaced with newer, better, updated ones, so you can experience more fulfilling, happier and healthier relationships.
2. Negative forms of interpersonal relationships
completeness analysis of interpersonal relationships requires studies of their negative forms.
Negative form of friendship - enmity. It suggests negative emotional attitudes towards to a partner: hatred, antipathy, rejection. Relations of enmity are manifested in the absence of trust, stinginess in contacts and transfer of information to a partner: violation his plans, an obstacle in his activities, intentionally lowering his self-esteem, status, deliberate disorganization consciousness and self-awareness of the partner. IN In general, hostility relations are manifested in all sorts of attempts to destabilize, destruction, leveling personality partner and his life.
Should note that the relationship of enmity, as well as friendship, arise under the condition of mutual relationship of equal partners. If one of them is superior or with one-sided hostility not typical hostile behavior the desire to inflict a tangible effect on the partner harm.
Main function of destructive relationships - cultivation, maintenance, satisfaction of anomalous needs and personality traits (acquisitiveness, aggression, hooliganism, etc.
). This function determined by the number of members of the group persons. Usually it is small, does not exceed small group sizes. population grouping depends on the possibilities satisfaction of abnormal needs. mutual interest in meeting anomalous needs narrows the interaction of group members framework of interaction, cooperation in meeting this need. As a rule, the entire personality structure, but only those aspects of it associated with abnormal needs.
Manifestation this type of relationship, mutual participation, help with abnormal needs when searching for objects needs, mutual stimulation needs. group membership, time of existence, nature relationships are entirely ability and willingness to satisfy a common need for these partners.
Difficulties communication can be viewed in terms of various branches of psychology: general, age and pedagogical, social, labor psychology, legal and medical psychology individual differences.
In time of communication among its participants are observed different states, each manifest certain mental properties personality.
Because the communication is an interaction least two people, then the difficulty in flow (meaning subjective) can be generated by one member or both at once. And their consequence is usually turns out to be full or partial failure to achieve goals, dissatisfaction motivating motive or failure to receive the desired result in that activity, which communication served.
psychological The reasons for this may be: unrealistic goals, inadequate assessment of the partner, his abilities and interests, wrong presentation of their own opportunities and misunderstanding assessments and partner relationships, use methods that are not suitable for this case contact with a partner.
Analyzing difficulties associated with age generalizing, it is necessary to take into account psychological characteristics of each age group and make adjustments for how they manifest themselves in a child, teenagers, boys, girls, girls, adult men and women, in the elderly and old people. Particular attention must be paid on the relationship between typical each age level of development mental processes and personality traits and so specific to the interacting people's characteristics, like their abilities to empathy, decentration, reflection, identification, to the comprehension of another human through intuition.
WITH positions of educational psychology other communication difficulties are highlighted. Difficulties of pedagogical communication can be grouped into three main groups: informational, regulatory, affective.
Informational difficulties are manifested in the inability to say something, to express one's opinion, clarify, add, continue the answer, complete a thought, start a sentence, help to start speaking, "set the tone", formulate "narrow" questions that require monosyllabic, predictable answers, and "broad", problem creative questions.
Regulatory difficulties associated with the inability to stimulate pupils' activity.
Difficulties realization of affective functions manifest in the inability to approve student statements to agree with them, emphasize the correctness of the linguistic design, infallibility of statements, praise for good behavior, active work, express disagreement with individual opinion, dissatisfaction with the admitted mistakes, respond negatively to breach of discipline.
IN Difficulties can be singled out as a separate group communication dominated by socio-psychological factor.
Socio-psychological communication difficulties often experienced leaders. as key There are three types of communication difficulties in a management environment.
the first group is made up of difficulties associated with the process of entry of the individual into the group. They may be characterized by the following personal characteristics of leaders: rejection of another person interest in him, isolation, internal stiffness, restlessness.
In The second group includes communication difficulties, related to the development of relationships group processes, with group formation, maintaining group unity. For leaders are characterized by: desire take a stand in cooperation expert, judge; role inflexibility behavior; rejection of help partners; willingness to help partner without a "request" on his part; centralization on the content of one's own "I"; attitude to another person within the framework of "due", not real; pseudo-general declaration: partners are assigned positions, goals based on the transfer of previous experience interactions, regulations etc.
, as a result of which the concept of "We" not used as a result of the formation psychological community, but declaratively, what is the lack of relationship to partners as a whole to the group as to real subjects.
IN the third group includes difficulties communication associated with the absence, lack of formation of group funds activities: inability to accurately and clearly express your thoughts, difficulties in argumentation, failure to lead discussion, discussion, etc.
TO difficulties that have a socio-psychological origin, refer and emerging barriers between interacting people, associated with various social and ethnicity, membership in warring factions or groups significantly different in their orientation.
One from the difficulties of the type in question may occur due to poor ownership specific language for community, with a representative of which have to make contacts. Available in mind not the spoken language, but the language for a long time professionals working together, or the language that has developed in this community, and etc.
Special kind of communication difficulties can be analyzed from the standpoint of psychology labor. As is known, in many ways activities are indispensable without interpersonal interactions. And so that these views activities were successfully carried out performers need to really cooperate. And for this you need to know each other's rights and obligations, and the knowledge of one participant, should not be unduly different from knowledge other participants in the activity.
Special of interest are the difficulties considered in the light of individual-personal differences.
Research showed that communication is different deformed by personality traits its members. To these personal features include, in particular, egocentrism. Because of the strong focus on yourself, your person, point of view, thoughts, goals, experiences of the individual is unable to perceive another subject, his opinion and performance. egocentric personality orientation is manifested both emotionally and behaviorally plan.
established, that in the characters of people experiencing difficulties in communication, found complex of labile, sensitive, asthenoneurotic features that testifies to their excessive impressionability. Having a need for friendly communication, they can not realize due to its exceptional timidity and shyness.
Specific communication difficulties are characteristic of individuals with marked anxiety. More one type of communication difficulty is associated with shyness is a personality trait occurring in certain situations interpersonal informal communication and manifested in neuropsychiatric stress and psychological discomfort.
TO characteristics that cause difficulties in communication, relate apart from shyness alienation, loneliness, excessive sensitivity, hysteria, neuroticism.
Difficulties communication can be considered positions of medical psychology. special difficulty in communicating with others experienced by people suffering from logoneuroses.
Research has shown that each one of them has its own inferiority complex, which, starting from deep dissatisfaction of claims in the sphere communications, deforms attitude logoneurotic personality to other parties his being. Your specific difficulties patients also have communication with others mental disorders, as well as those suffering from various somatic diseases.
Conclusion
Each of the relationships described above differs in its own functions, the depth of the involvement of the individual, the criterion choice of partners, content of relationships, their manifestation. This gives rise to treat them as separate species. interpersonal relationships.
Analyzing various socio-psychological personality traits, it should be remembered that many of them are the result of manifestation complex relationship between "I" - personality and "they" are other people. The essence of this ratio allows not only clear understand and comprehend the manifestation of true features of a particular person his relationships with other people, but also to foresee many variants of its possible behavior in various conditions of real reality.
This is important for conflict prevention, overcoming inconsistency people in different communities.
Possible phenomena of greater or lesser psychological incompatibilities due to some features of emotionality, manifestations types of higher nervous activity, elementary needs, motor skills.
List literature
1.Social psychology: Proc. Allowance for students. higher textbook institutions / A.N. Sukhov, A.A. Bodalev, V.N. Kazantsev and others; Ed. A.N. Sukhova, A.A. Derkach. - 2nd ed., Rev. – M.: Publishing Center "Academy", 2002.
2.Klimov E.A. General psychology. general education course: Proc. allowance for universities. – M: UNITY-DANA, 2001. - 511 p.
3. Petrovsky A.V., Yaroshevsky M.G. Psychology: Textbook for stud. higher ped. textbook establishments. - 2nd ed., stereotype. - M .: Publishing Center "Academy", 2000.
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Give detailed description of the interaction subjects (heroes of fiction works) in terms of their compatibility using categories: extrovert, introvert, mobile, rigid, dominant, non-dominant.
For example: extrovert - Chichikov, introvert - Plyushkin ("War and Peace"), mobile - Karenina ("Anna Karenina"), rigid - Khlestakov ("Inspector"), dominant - Woland ("The Master and Margarita"), non-dominant - Lensky ("Eugene Onegin").
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Using books by E. Bern, prepare a message on the topic "Types of transactions and their impact for interpersonal communication. Necessarily use examples for each type transactions.
Message on the topic:
"TYPES OF TRANSACTIONS AND THEIR IMPACT ON INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION»
Content:
Introduction
1.Types transactions
2.Influence transactions for interpersonal communication
Conclusion
List used literature
Introduction
Interaction person with the outside world is carried out in a system of objective relations that formed between people in their social life.
objective relationships and connections are inevitable and natural occur in any real group. Reflection of these objective relationships between group members are subjective interpersonal relationships that he studies social Psychology.
Basic way of interpersonal research interactions and interactions within groups are an in-depth study various social factors, and interactions between people who are part of this group. no human community cannot exercise full joint activities, if not established contact between people included, and will not be reached between them a proper understanding.
So, For example, in order for a teacher to teach something to the students, he must enter into communication with them.
Communication is a multifaceted development process contacts between people, generated the needs of joint activities.
transactions (TA) is a unit of communication. She starts from a transactional stimulus - either a different sign, acknowledging that the presence of one person is perceived others.
The person addressed stimulus responds with some kind of action - transactional reaction. Wherein a person who enters into an act of communication, unconsciously chooses the right state I and offers advantageous for self state I - the interlocutor. If the interlocutor accepted this state - (and he may not accept), then he finds himself in a certain psychological dependence from this person.
Target transactional analysis - find out which state I am responsible for a transactional stimulus and what the state of man realized transactional reaction. All TAs are divided for additional, cross and hidden. In addition, the followers E. Bern later singled out straight lines, indirect and lubricated TA.
Advantages and disadvantages of mixing interpersonal and role communication
advantages and the negative effects of interpersonal confusion and role-playing communication
Public life cannot exist without collision ideas, life positions, goals, as separate individuals, as well as small and large groups.
Differences of thought constantly arise and various kinds of disagreements, which are often escalate into conflict.
Interpersonal communication involves establishing direct contacts between partners in communication, allowing direct response and influence the process of interaction. Exactly Therefore, interpersonal communication is also called direct, direct as opposed to mediated mass communication. Implied (as the most common model) participation two people in interpersonal communication, although minimum total number of participants communication three. The difference between these types communication is that for a third person the relations of the other two are objective: it cannot influence them directly, but only through a relationship with one of them. When communicating two people the third is always present invisibly or as a social norm, or as the opinion of a close friend, or another authority.
Official (role-playing) communication involves relationships, mediated by social or professional roles.
This type of communication may have elements personal. Role communication is extremely prevalent in modern society. It provides interaction in such situations like "leader - subordinate", "student - teacher", "buyer - seller", "doctor - patient", etc. It is the role expectations participants in communication determine how it is perceived partner, how his behavior is evaluated, How does an individual evaluate their own behavior as he is as a performer roles. In a situation of role-playing communication, a person not free to choose their own strategy behavior, it is devoid of a certain spontaneity their reactions, actions, feelings, and sometimes and internal response. And although each a person brings individuality and originality into their social roles (identical doctors, there are no lecturers, teachers and cannot be), images, actions, representations are given personality from the outside, social position.
Role communication is also communication on level of social roles of partners (head and subordinate, teacher - student, salesman, buyer).
This communication is based on certain the norms determined by society, is used to facilitate communication, to facilitate achieving the goals of each of the participants role communication. Playing various situations in a role-playing game, a person is more confident feels like in real role-playing communication. Certain rules apply here. and expectations. Role masks communicate. Transition from role-playing to interpersonal communication and vice versa are often used in business contacts.
In some cases communication according to generally accepted roles impossible due to the complexity of the situation (eg. business negotiations are subject to business etiquette, but communication within them is significantly harder than the teacher-student relationship. In childhood business (and friendly) communication in role-playing games are practiced at the level of necessity negotiate with other children how and what to play; there are special business games for working out business situations (for example, through a business role-playing game it is possible to work out the development of knowledge exchange between professionals within the organization) as well as educational games.
Professional organization of such games to protect against fixing erroneous conclusions and results (for example, a child may become accustomed to obey older children).
Business communication can be easily identified from functional role-playing. Business Communication is a form of interpersonal communication aimed at achieving some subject agreement. In business communication is always a goal. Relies that in business communication solvable problems affect not the interests of the "mask", but the individual, and he mobilizes.
Also worth mention the Identity Crisis. In fact, it is the inability young people to achieve their self-identity leads to what Erickson called a crisis self-identity. Identity crisis, or role mixing, most often characterized by inability to choose a career or continue education. Many adolescents suffering from age-specific conflict, experience a poignant sense of futility, mental discord and aimlessness. They feel inadequate depersonalization, alienation, and sometimes rush towards the "negative" self-identity - the opposite the one that their parents insistently offer them and peers.
However, failure to achieve its own identity is not necessarily doom a teenager to endless defeat in life. Perhaps even more Erickson emphasized that life is permanent changes. Prosperous problem solving in one life stages does not guarantee that they will not appear again in the next stages or what not new solutions to old problems will be found. inherent in teenage groups selectivity in communication and cruelty to "strangers" - this is the protection of a sense of one's own identity from depersonalization and confusion. That is why the details of the costume, jargon or gestures become signs that distinguish "ours" from "strangers". By creating closed groups and clichéd their own behavior, ideals and "enemies", teenagers not only help each other to identify but also test each other for ability keep fidelity. (Eric Homburger was psychologist in the field of developmental psychology and a psychoanalyst. Known primarily for his theory of the stages of psychosocial development)
Theories related to to role-playing games - psychodrama J.
Moreno.
Psychodrama is a method of psychotherapy, in which clients continue and complete their actions through theatrical role-playing, dramatic self-expression. Used both verbally and non-verbally communication. Several scenes depicting, for example, memories about specific events of the past, unfinished situations, inner dramas, fantasies, dreams, preparation for upcoming situations with possible risk or involuntary manifestations of psychological conditions "Here and now". These scenes are close to a real life situation.
Psychodrama session begins with the warm up, it could be propulsion or a meditative exercise designed to raise the energy level in the group and tune participants to certain group Topics. Then the participant is selected which during this session will be work the whole group. It is very important that the topic was chosen, not the person, which represents it, because only in this case, the topic chosen for work will be group.
After the selection is made, the action stage.
Scene by scene, dramatic an exciting situation is played out. Forms enactments range from literal reenactments of real events staging symbolic scenes, never that did not take place in reality. With technicians psychodramas and examples of sessions can be found, having read, for example, the book by D. Kipper “Clinical role-playing games and psychodrama. Action stage ends when the contract is completed, that is, a solution to the problem situation is found
Sharing takes place after the action stage - exchange of feelings between participants actions and spectators. First, the participants role-players share their experiences “from the role”, that is, they talk about how it was for them to be, for example, a mother. Then the whole group is already sharing their feelings life", that is, the participants tell about similar situations in their lives, about the feelings they had during the action or observation of it. Sharing is a very important part of the group work. Sharing is strictly prohibited anything that can hurt the group members - thoughts, assessments, advice about situations.
