How to drive narcissist crazy
10 Things That Drive a Narcissist Insane
Are you in a relationship with a narcissist? Then you should know that you can never win the games they play. The narcissist will always win because the truth is, they don’t love you and they don’t really care about you. So they have the upper hand. However, there are certain things that can drive a narcissist insane.
Short of going no contact, those things are powerful defenses against the narcissist.
Not only that, understanding these triggers can be incredibly useful because it can help you identify when someone reacts like a narcissist. When seemingly simple, mundane things result in a wild overreaction, you know something isn’t right.
So without further ado, let’s take a look at 10 things that can drive a narcissist insane.
1. Losing
If you look up the definition of a “sore loser” in a dictionary, it’ll say “narcissist.” OK, it doesn’t but it should.
Narcissists hate losing. They believe that they are the best at everything and losing to those they believe to be inferior can be infuriating.
Since narcissists are always in pursuit of status and admiration from others, losing for them can be a devastating ego blow that can trigger their narcissistic injury.
That’s why narcissists will do anything to win. They will lie, cheat, betray, manipulate — all in the name of winning. And even if they lose, they have lots of ego defenses against losing.
For example, if they were trying to win a party game and lost, they’ll get angry and announce that the game was rigged, the rules are wrong, it’s stupid, they lost on purpose, etc.
Seeking promotion at work is another situation that can engage their desire to win and showcase their superiority.
So if you want to see a narcissist go nuts, make them lose. Get one over them and enjoy the show.
2. Inability to Control Others
Narcissists like to be in control. They usually have a clear idea of how things are supposed to be and how others should behave.
When reality refuses to conform to their picture and when other people go against the narcissist’s wishes and ideas, this can trigger an explosive response.
For example, think of a narcissistic parent who sees their child as an extension of them. The child is not allowed any individuality or self-expression. Any desire they express is censored or criticized.
So any deviating from the parent’s planned script (like choosing a different career or a partner the parent doesn’t approve of) results in anger and punitive action against the child.
This can be devastating when you’re growing up. But as an adult, you can use it against the narcissist in your life. Step out of their control. Or better yet, walk away.
When you walk away from them, you are likely to discover that initially, it will make them work harder to gain their control back. They will double their efforts to make you conform to their expectations. But if you’re not backing down, eventually they will leave you alone.
3. Rejection
It may not look like it but many narcissists have a fear of abandonment or rejection.
While they might appear to have strong self-esteem and confidence, this is often no more than a facade.
Underneath that false bravado is a fragile, immature ego that needs constant bolstering.
In particular, being left or rejected can puncture that sense of confidence and provoke a strong response from a narcissistic person. The type of reaction depends on the type of narcissism.
An overt (or grandiose) narcissist is likely to get angry and seek vengeance or retribution.
A covert (or vulnerable) narcissist will react to perceived abandonment by seeking reassurance.
For example, if they feel their partner might leave them, they could start love-bombing (showing exaggerated expressions of love and affection) or use other manipulation tactics to influence the outcome.
Either way, they will definitely be irked by an experience of rejection.
4. Being Ignored
Narcissists usually try to be at the center of attention. They will seek the spotlight and try to reframe the situation to be about them.
For example, a narcissistic woman can come to her friend’s wedding wearing a white dress and be enjoying the whispers and the raised eyebrows.
She can also create a scene and make the celebration ultimately about her.
Being ignored is torture for a narcissist. Which means it’s an incredibly useful tool at your disposal. Nothing is more powerful than simply ignoring the narc.
Instead of being hurt or upset about what they said, just shrug — or better yet — yawn as if this is painfully boring to you. This will surely make them tick.
5. Being Criticized
This is a classic case of “can dish it out but can’t take it.”
Although narcissists are often judgmental and critical of others, they can be very sensitive towards criticism in their direction.
It’s especially true if the criticism is expressed in public. Seeing the critique as an attempt to humiliate them, they might respond in a vicious and personal manner.
For example, think of Donald Trump’s late-night tweets about people who’ve publicly criticized his policies or actions. They were personal attacks (like calling a woman “ugly”) rather than arguments addressing the issue.
It is typical of narcissists. When they feel criticized or slighted, they lash out. So criticism is their “hot button.”
Narcissists tend to be highly concerned with their status and are preoccupied with achieving more.
This can drive them to professional and social success, but can also make them intolerant of other people’s pursuit of the same.
If they perceive you as a rival who is in the way of their goals or fantasies, they can take swift action by defaming you or using other tools against you to make sure you don’t succeed.
Sometimes, it can get pretty ugly because narcissists are absolutely ruthless when pursuing what they believe they’re entitled to.
They see high social standing as essential to their identity and if someone else enjoys the fruits of status (wealth, fame, influence), it can really get their goat.
7. Lack of Reaction from Others
A narcissist seeks to trigger strong emotional responses from you.
It doesn’t even matter how you feel — love-struck, upset, or furious.
They just want to feel that they are the ones that caused it. It gives them a sense of power.
Although narcissists have serious deficits when it comes to emotional intelligence, they have a knack for sniffing out your weak spots or “hot buttons.” So if you let them, a narcissist will play you like a violin.
They are especially good at concocting provocations to throw you off your game or trigger a negative emotion.
That’s why a lack of response or reaction from you is one of those things that can drive a narcissist absolutely insane. It’s extremely unpleasant and even disturbing to them because it relates to a sense of rejection.
So if you don’t want to be a narcissist’s favorite toy, know your emotional triggers.
8. Feeling Exposed
Narcissists tend to be in denial of their own mistakes and shortcomings.
However, because they’re always concerned with public perception, they’re aware of behaviors that they feel they might be judged for, like their violent outbursts.
Their “dark side” becoming public knowledge or being exposed in some way is the narcissist’s worst nightmare. They will go to extreme lengths to prevent it from happening.
If you’ve ever been in a child custody battle with a narcissist, you know this to be true. They will lie and gaslight to hide their true self, all the while trying to paint you as a bad parent.
So while exposing a narcissist isn’t easy, if you succeed at it, it will really drive them insane.
9. Unfavorable Comparisons
A narcissist’s self-esteem is tied to external factors such as physical appearance, status, authority, possessions, etc. This type of self-esteem is quite fragile because it’s based on a comparative perspective.
In other words, narcissists feel good about themselves when they compare themselves to others and feel superior as a result of the comparison.
However, narcissists struggle when the comparison is not in their favor or when they are objectively inferior in one way or another.
A core narcissistic trait is viewing themselves as better than others and entitled to special treatment or privileges. When reality contradicts this view, a narcissist’s ego defenses go into overdrive.
They will try to minimize or ignore the situation, attack their perceived rival, or boost their status in a desperate attempt to flip the script.
10. Seeing Others Happy
If you ever dated a narcissist, you know how confusing the experience can be. At first, the narcissist is feeding you lies and love-bombing to get you hooked. They can be fascinating and exciting, and you feel like you’re living a fairytale.
But then something happens — an argument, perhaps, or a simple disagreement — and your Prince Charming suddenly turns into a fire-breathing dragon.
He’ll be remorseful later, and the fairytale will resume. Until the next episode of rage, jealousy, lying, etc. This is the typical cycle of abuse in a trauma bond relationship.
If you manage to survive, get out of that vicious cycle, and actually be happy, know that it will drive the narcissist crazy.
They want you to feel that your happiness depends on them. They want you to be broken and miserable without them. So if you not only moved on but are also enjoying life sans their highness, that is guaranteed to bother them.
That’s why being happy is the ultimate revenge on the narcissist.
Final Thoughts
These 10 things can really drive the narcissist insane.
But playing mind games or trying to punish the narcissist isn’t necessarily a good idea. Remember: if you really want to take your power back, you have to stop emotionally engaging with them.
Go no contact, if you can. But keep in mind that it implies more than physical distance. To truly sever your connection, you have to learn to create emotional distance from a narcissist whether or not you’re around them.
Overall, any of us can have some narcissistic tendencies and react badly to one or more of these triggers. However, if it happens consistently or we always see the same behavior from ourselves or someone else, it might be worth addressing.
References
Grapsas, S., Brummelman, E., Back, M. D., & Denissen, J. (2020). The “Why” and “How” of Narcissism: A Process Model of Narcissistic Status Pursuit. Perspectives on psychological science: a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, 15(1), 150–172. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691619873350
Valashjardi, A., & Charles, K. (2019). Voicing the Victims of Narcissistic Partners: A Qualitative Analysis of Responses to Narcissistic Injury and Self-Esteem Regulation. SAGE Open. https://doi.org/10.1177/2158244019846693
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What Drives A Narcissist Insane? 15 Ways To Play Them
When you’re dealing with someone who has NPD, you assume that there is nothing you can do to hurt them emotionally. Even when you try, they always find a way to make it backfire on you.
But I’m here to end your misery.
Once you learn what drives a narcissist insane, you can give them a taste of their own medicine and reverse the roles once and for all!
What Drives A Narcissist Insane?
These 15 tactics will help you drive your narcissist crazy!
1. The silent treatment
If you’re looking for ways to hurt someone who displays narcissistic behavior, the best way to do so is by ignoring them. Yes, that’s right, I’m telling you to give them the silent treatment.
And the best part about this is that you don’t have to invest much effort into it. On the contrary, that’s the whole point – for you to do nothing!
Everyone who is narcissistic need a reaction from their victims. It’s what keeps them alive and gives them fuel to keep going.
For as long as you can remember, you gave your narcissistic mother, father, or partner exactly what they wanted from you. You cied, begged them to change, or argued with them until you lost all of your strength.
And what did you accomplish with this? That’s right, one big, fat nothing.
So, why wouldn’t you change tactics? Why wouldn’t you try ignoring them and behaving like they don’t exist?
Trust me, this is what will trigger their narcissistic rage in the blink of an eye. And that’s when you’ll have them right where you want them.
2. Losing control
What is common for everyone with NPD? Among other things, one of their ultimate goals is to have control over their victims.
For example, a normal person would be jealous of their romantic partner because they love them. But narcissists, sociopaths, and emotional psychopaths, they will get possessive because they’re scared of losing control over you.
You have to be aware that you’re dealing with control-freaks. Everything has to be their way or no way at all.
That’s why you must show them that they can’t rule over you. You’re the only one in charge of your own life.
How do you do that? Well, you can start by disobeying them about some seemingly little things.
However, the most important thing is to show them that they have no more influence over you. At least, not as much as they used to have.
3. Taking criticism
Here’s every narcissist’s biggest secret: they have incredibly low self-esteem. Who would say, right?
Well, they actually hide their true self because they hate the person they are. People with narcissistic personality disorder have a very fragile perception of their self-worth.
That’s why being criticized is one of their biggest fears. They invest a lot of time and energy into building a seemingly perfect face they show the world.
So, the moment you criticize them about the smallest thing, you cause a narcissistic injury.
You don’t even have to do it on purpose. You can jokingly say you don’t like their new shirt or that they could have cleaned the house a bit better.
You see what I’m talking about? It’s a comment you’ll forget about in a while, but it’s like an arrow to a narcissist’s heart.
…including constructive ones
But the craziest thing is that you can trigger narcissistic rage even with constructive criticism. On a conscious level, they know that you mean well and that you’re right.
However, their fragile ego can’t stand admitting and accepting something like this.
4. Not being the center of attention
What does a narcissistic need? Validation and admiration. What drives a narcissist insane? Not having any of that!
It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about your narcissistic parents, romantic partner, or a friend – they’re all the same when it comes to this.
These people enjoy the spotlight. In fact, they need attention like a normal person needs air to breathe.
If they’re involved with you in any way possible, they want your undivided attention and refuse to settle for anything less.
So, what happens when someone else becomes your center of attention? A narcissist goes completely crazy.
But you know what the funniest thing about this is? They can’t take that you’re your own center of attention either.
The moment that happens, a narcissist feels like they’re losing the ground they walk on.
They’re completely lost, and they’re ready to do whatever it takes to grab back the spotlight. Remember – they can’t live without their victim’s validation, even though they do their best to hide it.
5. Being called out for their actions
How great would it be if we could all do whatever the hell we wanted without anyone pointing out our mistakes? Well, that’s exactly what every narc expects of their victim.
You have to be aware of one thing: these people struggle with a lack of empathy. If you, for example, break up a narcissistic relationship, your ex will never feel guilty for breaking your heart.
Not only that – they’ll also be surprised if you gather the courage to call them out on their actions.
However, beware of one thing: you won’t accomplish much if all you do is talk. They’ll perceive it as nagging and won’t take you seriously.
On the other hand, if you really refuse to give them a second chance and explain that your behavior is just a reaction to their actions, they’ll be stunned.
We’re talking about someone who thinks they’re smarter than the rest of the world. So, they’ll go crazy once you tell them straight that you know exactly what they’re doing and that you don’t plan on putting up with it.
6. Other people’s happiness
We’ve already established that a lack of empathy is one of the most common narcissistic traits. This doesn’t only mean that they can’t sympathize with someone else’s pain.
This lack of empathy also means that they don’t have the ability to be happy for other people. On the contrary, they can’t stand someone else’s happiness and will do everything in their power to destroy it.
They hate it when they see a random stranger smiling and enjoying life. But you know whose happiness they despise the most?
Their victim’s happiness – especially if it has nothing to do with them.
At the end of the day, every narcissist is actually just jealous. Deep down, they know that they cannot feel true, pure happiness and hate everyone who is capable of it.
Basically, if you want to drive a narcissist crazy, it’s enough to show them that you’re genuinely happy. Once they realize that all of the mind games, gaslighting, and emotional abuse they put you through didn’t kill your spirit, they will be devastated.
It looks like they aren’t as important as they initially thought they were!
7. Mirroring a narcissist
How to shut down a narcissist? It’s enough to treat them the same way they treat everyone else.
Just give them a taste of their own medicine. Reverse the tables and make them walk a mile in your shoes.
This kind of behavior is called mirroring a narcissist. No, I’m not talking about narcissistic mirroring here, where a narcissistic person imitates everything you do just to get under your skin.
I’m talking about you mirroring their actions!
Don’t worry, you won’t become just like them for real.
You’re a normal person, and you’re only pretending to be like this to play with a narc.
But I’m warning you: narcissistic mirroring is anything but easy. It includes numerous manipulation tactics, such as love-bombing (followed by ghosting), gaslighting, the silent treatment, and so on.
Let’s get one thing straight: I would never advise doing any of these things to some other random person. However, sometimes, this is the only way to emotionally hurt a narcissist.
8. Breaking their spell
What drives a narcissist insane? Well, the fact that their victim managed to break their spell. It’s the realization that you got to the bottom of their intentions. It’s that you got them all figured out.
It’s that you’ve started working on your mental health and that your healing journey has started.
Basically, they get upset the moment you realize that you’re a victim of narcissistic abuse. Understanding that is the first step towards escaping them, and they know this very well.
They don’t want you to take off your rose-tinted glasses. They’ll do everything in their power to prevent you from seeing properly.
But when you finally get rid of their magic, they don’t know what to do. You’re no longer enchanted, and they don’t have as much influence over you as they used to have.
9. The victim’s independence
Remember we talked about a narcissist losing control? You have to know that these people expect their partners, friends, and family members to be emotionally dependent on them.
They don’t know what real love is, and they don’t appreciate people taking care of them in a healthy way. On the contrary, the only thing that they accept as love is actually addiction.
However, what happens when their victim stops being emotionally dependent on them?
Let’s be clear about one thing: I’m not saying that you stopped loving them. I’m just talking about emotional independence.
Well, that’s another thing a narc can’t stand.
Your world has stopped revolving around them, which immediately destroys their sense of self-worth.
Nevertheless, I’m not only talking about emotional independence. I’m talking about any kind of independence, including financial, social, and so on.
They will go insane if they see that you’re capable of making your own decisions without their involvement. It looks like you don’t need them anymore, which means practically nothing is holding you back from leaving.
10. Anyone being better than them
Everyone who has narcissistic personality disorder has some serious self-esteem issues. They try to hide it, but they constantly compare themselves to everyone in their surroundings, including their friends, family members, romantic partners, coworkers, and even people who just happen to pass by them.
In their twisted sense of reality, they have to be better than everyone else. On the contrary, they’re completely worthless.
To them, people’s entire existence on this planet is nothing but a big competition.
Their only goal is to defeat everyone around them and be on the throne.
So, what drives a narcissist insane? The horrible realization that someone is better than them.
It’s enough for you to praise their coworker and tell them that they have a good sense of humor or to tell them that you like their best friend’s new car.
Normal people wouldn’t even notice these remarks. But a narc will think about them for days!
11. Ordinary treatment
One of the first red flags to pay attention to when figuring out if someone is a narcissist is this person’s sense of self-importance. That’s the irony of their personalities: they actually struggle with major insecurities, but at the same time, they think that they’re more important than the rest of the world.
These people expect VIP treatment wherever they go. They want to feel like royalty, always under the spotlight.
But what if that doesn’t happen? What if you invite them to a party? You don’t ignore them, nor do you welcome them as a special guest.
Trust me, that would crush them more than anything! It means that they’ve lost the ability to get any reaction from you.
And that was the only superpower they had. If that doesn’t destroy them, nothing will!
12. Public embarrassment
If you know a thing or two about narcissism, you know that people with NPD are usually the most prominent members of society.
Nobody is familiar with your narcissistic mother’s true colors. On the contrary, people probably think of her as “mom of the year.”
It doesn’t matter what kind of narcissistic abuse you’re going through – your abuser will always do their best to hide it from the world.
After all, why do you think gaslighting is so important to them? They’re terrified that you’ll speak out about their actions. They want to prevent it so badly that they’re ready to persuade you that you’re imagining things.
So, what drives a narcissist insane? Destroying their public image! They can’t stand being embarrassed in front of other people.
Criticizing and humiliating them when you’re with company will do the trick. But you know what will destroy them completely?
Showing the world their true colors! Lifting the mask they show everyone and revealing who they really are will crush them more than anything!
13. Not getting their own way
It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about little things or huge decisions. A narcissist has to have everything go their way.
Have you forgotten? After all, we’re talking about the most intelligent and capable people in the whole wide world!
Everyone, especially their victims, must listen to them and follow their lead. That is another thing that makes them feel superior and helps them with their rocky self-confidence.
Therefore, the thing that drives them crazy is not having things go their way.
For example, you’re in a narcissistic relationship. Your romantic partner planned on insulting you, and then they started gaslighting you.
They were sure that things would go smoothly, as always.
They would manage to convince you that you’re overreacting and imagining things.
But this time, you reacted differently. You stick to your story, and you don’t allow them to brainwash you with their manipulation tactics.
Not getting the outcome they were expecting leaves them confused. However, you have to be careful about this one because it also triggers narcissistic rage!
14. Being called out for their insecurities
We all have our own share of insecurities. But the difference between a normal person and someone with narcissism is how they perceive these insecurities.
Normal people know that nobody is perfect. They know that insecurities are perfectly normal; they do their best to overcome them and sometimes even joke about them.
On the other hand, every narc pretends to be flawless. They deceive the world into thinking that they love their true selves even though that couldn’t be further from the truth.
If you look closely, you’ll get to the bottom of their insecurities.
You’ll find out what they hate about themselves the most.
And once you find that out, it’s time to tackle these insecurities. But make sure to pretend that you’re doing it by accident.
Give them a backhanded compliment or a seemingly nice remark “for their own good.” After that, just sit back and watch them burn!
You’ll get an even better effect if you do it in public.
15. Going no contact
Finally, if you’re wondering what drives a narcissist insane, the answer is: going no contact! This includes not talking to them, blocking their number, ignoring their text messages, not visiting places you know you might run into them, not mentioning their name to your mutual friends…
It means cutting them off completely and living your life as if they were never a part of it.
But there is something you have to keep in mind here.
When you usually go no contact with someone, you’re doing it to get them back. You want them to feel your absence so they can appreciate your presence.
Nevertheless, this shouldn’t be your primary goal when dealing with a narc. Trust me – you don’t want this person back, and you don’t want them obsessing over you.
You’re going no contact for two reasons. First of all, you’re doing it to drive your narc crazy. But at the same time, you should be doing it to help yourself heal.
What Infuriates A Narcissist?
Not being under the spotlight, not getting the validation they crave, and losing control are what infuriate every narcissist. Basically, the best way to make them angry is to ignore them and not give them any attention whatsoever.
I know this sounds cliche, but being happy far away from their influence is the best revenge. It’s what drives a narcissist insane – knowing that they can’t impact you in any way.
How Do You Drive A Narcissistic Person Crazy?
If you want to drive a narcissist crazy, just show them that their manipulation techniques don’t work on you and that you refuse to play their games.
They can’t put a spell on you because you’re perfectly aware of what they’re trying to do.
You’ve got them all figured out. I guess they weren’t that smart after all! Well, imagine what that realization does to a narc!
How Do You Make A Narcissist Miserable?
Making a narcissist miserable is actually quite easy. All you have to do is point out their flaws, show them that you noticed their insecurities, and of course, show them that they’re not superior to anyone else.
On the contrary, if you really want to crush them, compare them to others and state that everyone is better than them.
What To Say To Disarm A Narcissist
Use these phrases to play with your narc’s mind and put them back in their place:
1. “I don’t appreciate your tone. If you want us to continue communicating, you’ll have to be more respectful.”
2. “You won’t succeed in brainwashing me. I know exactly how things went down.”
3.
“Let’s just agree to disagree.”
4. “I’m not guilty for how you feel, and I refuse to take responsibility for your negative emotions.”
5. “Have you ever thought of looking for professional help?”
To Wrap Up:
Learning what drives a narcissist insane and actually doing everything in your power to drive them crazy is all fun and games until a certain point. I know you want your sweet revenge, and I’ve given you ways to achieve that.
However, don’t get too engaged in this. Remember: healing from narcissistic abuse is your final goal!
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The Power of the Narcissist: 9 Steps to Freedom
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Man among people Man and woman
The feeling of love that we experience at the very beginning of a relationship with a narcissistic personality is experienced much more strongly than in a healthy relationship. The reason is that a narcissist (male or female) floods us with declarations of love almost from the first days, does not tire of admiring, seeking advice, assuring that we are perfection itself, he or she met the best person in his life and is ready for us to All.
This is called "love bombing". Then the tactics change - the narcissist seems to retreat a little, his love confessions become less frequent, calmer, and finally the stormy ocean turns into a meager stream. It is a form of manipulation, control, and conditioning that the narcissist uses to keep us in his power.
There is no doubt that we loved. The only problem is that narcissists cannot love us back.
When communicating with them, it is better to rely on your inner instinct, and not on the strength of your feelings. We tend to get so trapped in our feelings that we lose the ability to hear the alarm bells and red flags that come with a toxic relationship. Narcissists cannot keep a face for long - very soon their facade cracks. But they are masters of their craft and, if you are inexperienced, can easily put you on the hook.
1. Arm yourself with knowledge
The most important and first thing to do to get out of the trap is to learn as much as possible about what narcissistic personality disorder is, how narcissists work, their typical behavior and techniques.
You need to arm yourself with knowledge. Repeat and repeat over and over again. Until you study them properly, you won't be able to free yourself from their toxic hook - narcissists make us feel obligated by playing on our sense of duty, conscientiousness.
Feeling sorry for the narcissist when he or she has you trapped is pointless - they are just using your feelings against you. It is necessary to discard false pity in order to clearly see what you are dealing with.
2. Trust your intuition
Watch yourself — learn to separate feelings and deep inner feeling, intuition. Start trusting your intuition, not your feelings. Associating with a narcissist weakens physical, mental and emotional health because we are trying to understand a person whose behavior contradicts words.
Instead of listening to what they say, watch what they do. Words lie, actions reveal the truth. We really get to know people through their behavior. Words are just a breach of your trust.
You feel sick and exhausted because your mind and body tell you that you are in great danger, but everything seems to be fine (because he or she tells you so). Once again, trust your gut instinct. Become a cold-blooded explorer. Silently observe what is happening.
3. Don't put yourself in their shoes
Go back to where you belong. It's a matter of awareness. Mentally note how difficult it is to do this - these are the consequences of narcissistic processing.
Don't try to guess what they have in mind, imagine their next steps. Putting yourself in their place means trying to understand their motives, justify them, find a reasonable explanation for their behavior, and eventually get bogged down again in the poisonous swamp of their verbal manipulations.
When you catch yourself trying to "get into the narcissist's head," do your best to distract yourself. It's hard and it takes a lot of fortitude not to give in to the brainwashing they put on you to make sure they've taken over all the space inside your head.
4. Ignore the messages
For the narcissist, information has no meaning, its only purpose is to suck you into the swamp of manipulation. The task is not to figure out whether to believe or not to believe the words of a narcissist. It is about breaking out of the vicious circle in which you think day and night only about what is connected with the narcissist.
Do not listen or pay attention to the content of the speeches that the narcissist makes. This is their way to take out your brain to draw you into their world and keep you where you always find yourself in the role of bad and guilty. They will keep pushing your boundaries and blowing the fuses that signal you are approaching the boundaries to constantly keep you on your toes, unbalance, disturb your peace.
Trying to find common sense in the speeches of a narcissist is to force your brain to work in a stressful mode, it gradually drives you crazy. Know that no matter what they say, narcissists are seeking some benefit for themselves, no matter how logical or beautiful their words sound.
Everything is only about them and for them, and the only desire of a narcissist is that you, too, be only about them and for them. They will do and say anything to keep you trapped in their little fantasy world. Once again: watch what they do (not say).
5. Protect your property and savings
If necessary, start saving money. Remember that they can completely bleed you. Protect everything that is of value to you. Acting from noble feelings and wanting to remain fair, you risk eventually being ruthlessly abandoned without a livelihood.
6. Silence is golden
When we love, we want to share our thoughts and feelings with the person we love — this is natural. But you do not have a loved one, you are dealing with a narcissist who pretends to be your soul mate.
Resist the temptation to tell them everything you think and feel
You can't move them.
They use your trust against you. The more open you are, the more guns and knives they have in your back. Narcissists love it when you share. If you have to say something, protect yourself as much as possible - don't tell the whole truth, be neutral, obscure or change the subject.
7. Who are you?
Deal with yourself, what you believe in, what is dearest to you in this world, what you want to live and die for. Otherwise, anyone can convince you of anything. Without knowing ourselves, we cannot set boundaries in a relationship - what we are ready to tolerate and what is categorically not. Strengthen your value system and protect what you hold dear. Then you will know what to do and how to behave, instead of hesitating and bending under the onslaught of someone else's will.
8. Be patient
Continue to observe and analyze. By learning the basic manipulative techniques of narcissists, you will be able to recognize them accurately.
This is a great help in the process of freeing yourself from the illusion of "great love to the grave", "faithful" friendship or family idyll that narcissists have played for you.
Liberation does not happen overnight. It's not a sprint, it's a marathon. Be kind and patient with yourself. You learn to act and live in a new way - rethink, clarify yourself and your life principles, move to a new level of relationships with others. Give yourself time to deal with everything that's going on.
9. Feed your soul
Help others, little by little, quietly and anonymously. Say something nice, even to a stranger. Fulfill one of your little wishes, just for yourself. Draw strength from religion if you are a believer. Breathe deeply and remind yourself that one day you will be free and the joy of life will return to you.
Text: Ksenia Tatarnikova Photo Source: Unsplash
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Narcissus male. How to break it?
In your life there was, is or will be a real daffodil. From now on, there will be no more such a problem and you will solve it. You don't have to be constrained or shackled by little things like some damn daffodils. From this day forward, narcissists will have problems.
I was often asked to write about a narcissist man, how to communicate with such a man, how to change him in your direction, how to recognize him, and so on.
Well, then.
Let's talk to you about this.
A narcissistic bastard who only thinks about his skinny ass is narcissistic! But bitch, you want to break him so much, he infuriates and causes a feeling of helplessness that you want to tear his skinny ass on the British flag.
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An imperious almighty strong hand rests on his shoulder. The Lord Himself gathered this guy on the road, straightened his hat, put a piece of bread and a glass of milk in his backpack. And he said in a thick bass - "Now you are vanity. Go to Earth and fuck the brains of this mean girl. Amen."
And here he is in front of you. In his best. And you think xs what to do with it. I'll go ask Google. And here you are in this article. in gray reality. Google VS God.
You know what? I myself am still that narcissist. And I don't care what other people think about it. I'm just directing my love for myself in the other direction.
You know, you're still that narcissist. It’s just that your excessive love is expressed in the fact that you roar constantly, feeling sorry for yourself or running after this guy, looking into his eyes faithfully and faithfully, like a stray dog.
You know, all people are still those daffodils.
For everyone this manifests itself in some kind of Zen.
And I can not say that someone has more, someone less. It just shows up differently. Everyone gets hit in the head differently.
Someone loves himself as an exemplary and well-groomed family man.
Someone loves himself as a notorious scoundrel, indifferent to the sufferings of others.
Someone loves himself as a victim and an eternally whining piece of shit.
We are all chess pieces made from the same material. Yes, we look a little different, but, in fact, the same.
The essence is that you have a member who loves himself very much and you can't do anything about it, or rather, he loves himself more than you, which clearly does not suit you.
He fucks himself, not you when he fucks you. And you want him to fuck only you.
That's sorted out. Go ahead.
A narcissist man infuriates you because YOU have no influence on his feelings. You do not control him and are afraid that he will simply score on you.
And maybe they tell you to stay away from them?
Is it necessary to run from a narcissist man?
Now I want to give you a sweet candy in your mouth.
Come closer. Open your mouth wide.
You must have heard more than once, or twice, or three, or four times that if you recognize a narcissist, you need to jump up and turn 180 degrees in the air in order to get away from such a man as quickly as possible, sparkling with neon heels in the night.
So.
If you meet someone like that, then I advise you to take a closer look at him, because these assholes have a very strong trait that so many people lack. And this is the absence of infantilism. They always have a lot of energy and they often achieve a lot in life. They just spend a lot of time on narcissism and self-satisfaction (this is not what you thought). If they direct their vanity to their own affairs, if they stop doing garbage, they will succeed. If they direct their vanity to a woman, then this will be a strong family with great ambitions.
So if someone tells you that you need to fuck off a narcissist, then fuck off whoever tells you. But before that, tell the speaker that Gordes sends him to hell.
Let it shut up.
Tasty candy, isn't it? Mouth, you can close, by the way.
So what to do with a narcissist man?
What options are on your mind? And even more interesting is the question - where did these options come from?
Before writing this fucking article, I picked up my phone, looked at it, entered something into the search engine and eventually dialed the psychologist's number online.
Without saying a word of greeting, he said that I was writing an article about daffodils and I wanted to ask a couple of questions so that the answers would be stated in the article.
How to communicate with a narcissist, how to react to him and is it possible to make him fall in love with you?
The answers were tedious terms and hackneyed platitudes and almost lulled me with their psychological monotony.
Do not give in, ignore, do not enter into an argument blah, falling in love with him is impossible blah blah is problematic, blah.
It is necessary to avoid his blah blah. Blah blah blah. And blah again.
For a long time now I want to take people who use the words "close gestalt" by the legs and lower their heads into the toilet. And try to close the toilet lid so as not to see the protruding Gestalt psychological twitching indignant legs from the toilet.
Without saying goodbye, I said - "I see." And turned off. I closed my toilet lid.
And I thought about what would happen if I sent a narcissist to a psychologist with a problem - I love only myself, I don't give a damn about others, and all the rest are dull shit. And I'm the best. I can't do anything about it. I love myself very much. Very. Is it true.
Well, I sent my friend, whom everyone called - "You damn daffodil." He whinnied for a long time, but nevertheless went, agreeing to the condition that I pay for everything.
When he returned, his verdict was as follows - "He rubbed me some kind of game, as my teacher at school read morality to me.
In short - garbage."
I didn't doubt it in the slightest.
He didn't come thoughtful, he didn't want to change something in himself. He left with a smile, and returned with it. Then I broke that smile.
I asked him if he ever had times when he thought about other people and just couldn't control it, so that it really pissed him off? That he did not want to think about anyone, but simply could not restrain himself...
He thought, his smirk went away, and he said in a hoarse voice - "Yes, there was one bitch"...
What am I I had absolutely no doubts and the basis of the article was already formed before he told me this. He just convinced me again.
So, daffodil. The man is a narcissist. Out of control and out of your control because you are too gray as a person. That person who always looks up - breaks down in front of bitches. And looks at their legs and hugs their legs.
Because the bitch is strong in spirit. And the narcissist man is strong in spirit.
She has commandments and that makes her a bitch. Especially pay attention to the very first commandment, which catches the narcissist to the quick.
It's time to think bitchy. Only a bitch can change a narcissist. No good methods will achieve this.
Only bad methods. Only the sound of a woodpecker on his temple.
How to communicate with a narcissistic man?
Read from left to right. And whisper it quietly out loud. I will write how to communicate with such men, what words to say to them so that they begin to think about their essence.
1. Drain his love for you.
Laugh at him - "You're like a chick spinning in front of a mirror, phew! A man should be brutal and confident, and not kiss his buttocks."
Your task is to make him feel dumb, so that he would be ashamed of being such a narcissistic piece of narcissism.
Narcissism is cool, but when it goes beyond - it's idiotic. And you have to poke his face into this shit.
Show that he is out of bounds. To feel this edge of idiocy. They don't like to be creepy, but you have to show that it looks creepy from the outside.
Who if not you? His mother will never do this, SHE STILL wipes his snot. So change. Change this guy. Although he loves himself, he is the same plasticine as you are.
2. Compare with men.
He considers himself the coolest of all just because everyone around him confirms this. We will capture this ship, plunder and sink.
Correct comparison is important here. It is necessary to compare not in the spirit: "And Max is cooler than you, he generally takes care of his girlfriend, and does not think only about himself."
This is too clumsy and won't work. This is the way of gray mice.
You need to gently take Max by the balls in front of him and say: "You are cool, I would like such a real man for myself. Who really knows how to understand women, your girlfriend is so lucky, I envy her.
"
And at the same time, you need to look into the eyes of your narcissist so that he understands and goes crazy. And chuckled and understood.
Touch others in his presence, admire that they are simple, that they are peasants. That they don’t behave like women, that they don’t kiss their ass, but kiss a woman’s. What do not always blame others and circumstances!
His resentment is an indicator that you are doing everything right. Resentment will change him. His indifference is an indicator that you are doing something wrong and he doesn't give a damn.
3. Parody his love and laugh at it .
As I wrote above, daffodil men are narcissistic bastards. And this is expressed in his actions, behavior and in some of his daily rituals. Which you should already know.
Think about it and write to me in the comments - what rituals does he carry out with him every day or regularly. So that we know how to parody and mock them.
Your task is to ridicule him for these rituals, to ridicule them.
He doesn't want to be mean. But now you will show him this aspiration yourself.
When I was spoiled by my mother as a child, my brother teased me so much. That I am a sissy, that I myself am not capable of anything. He parodied how I eat, how I communicate with my mother and I was ashamed. I wanted to be different inside. I didn't want to be a sissy. I didn't want my brother to laugh at me, and I didn't want to be like he parodied me.
I also had a bitch who made fun of my arrogance and my pomposity and that I thought only of myself. She managed to make fun of it in a way that I was not very pleased to be like that. Deep down, I understood her standards, and they were fair and just.
You see, he's just used to thinking about himself and spitting on others. It's not bad, but when it's overdone, it's overkill.
And this should be ridiculed. Point and point to it. Laugh at it. Devalue his narcissistic qualities that you see in him. He must associate these qualities with discomfort.
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And he doesn't like discomfort.
That is, you consider those rituals that he performs most often, which characterize him as a male narcissist. And you parody them, repeat after him and laugh at it. You do what he does and you're so funny. Because it's so stupid. And he must see it FROM THE SIDE.
Become his true mirror.
Laughter is a very cool weapon if used correctly.
4. Use others
For example, while sitting with friends, start bantering narcissists so that friends will join in. And you yourself look at him so that he understands who you mean. Naturally, you do not need to do it clumsily and rudely.
It's better to talk about the third person and make fun of the third person, but look at this guy.
"Do you remember that guy who constantly blamed everyone (you look at your own), who was simply afraid that they would blame him (again look at your boyfriend, wave his hand in his direction), it seems to me that he is just a weakling and he has complexes.
What do you think, can we help him somehow?"
Do not be afraid of his resentment, it will most likely be. This is exactly what we are trying to achieve, when offended, a person begins to think. We need him to think about it, realize it and see clearly.
5. Don't do it manically
If you troll him every 2 minutes, you will go to the airport to fly to the members' country. Since these guys are touchy to the point of horror.
Do this periodically. When he gets narcissistic, you tease. When he begins to exaggerate his great achievements, when he blames other people, but he himself is to blame. You point it out, you laugh at it. The rest of the time you communicate normally. Don't forget to be mysterious.
When he is cute, you are cute. When he is a narcissist - you are his mirror, you are his banter and drain.
Don't overdo it. And there is no need to indicate this in a quarrel, in scandals. It doesn't work well. Do it as a joke, devalue these qualities by laughing, not by shouting or being offended.
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6. Fucking manipulation.
He will sometimes become the man of your dreams. When the smell of fried meat from his body, he can become a bunny, which will insert the hook deeper into your bloody palate.
You know, how it happens that they play a notorious scoundrel, then become soft and fluffy.
When you see this, react immediately. Show that you got him. "Hey, did you decide to play good again to grease up on me? I wonder how long you last, let me record this day. Last time you lasted 2 days."
"Oh, I know that later you will become so sweet and caring and will sing in my ears like a nightingale, how beautiful I am. You always do that, it's so boring, you are all so predictable."
Nobody likes to be predictable.
7. Question his narcissism.
Show him that you are well aware that he put on a fucking advantageous mask.
And show him that you fucking see what's really going on underneath.
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