Narcissist boss quotes
130 Narcissist quotes to help you deal with Emotional Abuse
Mental Health Motivational Quotes
Byinvajy Updated on
Now a days, we hear the term narcissist thrown around a lot, especially when it comes to relationships. Narcissism (or narcissistic personality disorder) involves unacceptable manipulative behavior to control others. Narcissism (also termed as gaslighting) is not a totally uncommon characteristic or condition. You may find narcissists/gaslighters everywhere; political leaders, social media influencer, news anchors, celebrities, neighbors, a close friend, boss, subordinates, colleagues, siblings, parents or other close relations – anyone of these people surrounding you is in the position to gaslight you. In this post we are going to share with you narcissist quotes. If you’re dealing with a narcissist or someone with NPD, these narcissist quotes and quotes about narcissism will help you to deal with this emotional abuse.
- “Narcissism is a powerful form of emotional abuse. This sophisticated emotional abuse tactic makes victims question their own sanity.” ~ Invajy
- “Projection is narcissist’s signature technique.” ~ Invajy
- “A narcissist paints a picture of themselves as being the victim or innocent in all aspects. They will be offended by the truth. But what is done in the dark will come to light. Time has a way of showing people’s true colors.” ~ Karla Grimes
- “Narcissist try to convince you that in world no one other cares for your except him/her. The abuser may manipulate you to feel unlovable and not worthy resulting into cutting ties with friends and family.” ~ Invajy
- “Narcissists burn your sanity, erode your self-esteem, and make you doubt your own judgments and perceptions. ” ~ Invajy
- “Narcissists are inherently manipulative, they gaslight you with such stealth as to make you feel that you are the one that’s letting them down.” ~ Invajy
- “And we need to know what it is to be human if we are to avoid becoming narcissists.” ~ Alexander Lowen
- “A narcissist’s criticism is their autobiography.” ~ M. Wakefield
- “Gaslighting is mind control to make victims doubt their reality.” ~ Tracy A. Malone
- “Narcissism is voluntary blindness, an agreement not to look beneath the surface.” ~ Sam Keen
Quotes about narcissist
- “You can teach a narcissist to show up on time, but you can’t train them to listen once they get there.” ~ Dr. Ramani Durvasula
- “Gaslighters deliberately play subtle mind games and psychological manipulations; which are carried out gradually in stages. ” ~ Invajy
- “Narcissus weeps to find that his Image does not return his love.” ~ Mason Cooley
- “There is simply no winning with a narcissist. He will treat you so horribly that you will become withdrawn and depressed and then he will turn around and say, ‘You’re no fun anymore, you’re always so depressed. I need to be with someone more positive.’” ~ Susan Williams
- “Don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.” ~ Anonymous
- “Narcissist: a more polite term for a self-serving, manipulative, evil jerk with no soul and no compassion.” ~ Anonymous
- Babies cry to get their needs met. Narcissists are great actors and often use tears as a tool of manipulations, this is an abuse tactic! Do not allow them to let this work as guilt, they are acting!” ~ Tracy Malone
- “Children of narcissists learn that love is abuse. The narcissist teaches them that if someone displeases you, it is okay to harm them and call it love. ” ~ M. Wakefield
- “Americans are experiencing an epidemic in narcissistic behavior in a culture that is intrinsically self-conscious and selfish, and citizens are encouraged to pursue happiness and instant gratification of their personal desires.” ~ Kilroy J. Oldster
- “That which he projects ahead of him as his ideal, is merely his substitute for the lost narcissism of his childhood – the time when he was his own ideal.” ~ Sigmund Freud
- “Toxic people make you think you’re holding a grudge when you’re really holding a boundary.” ~ Mel Robins
- “As individuals and as a nation, we now suffer from social narcissism. The beloved echo of our ancestors, the virgin America, has been abandoned. We have now fallen in love with our own image, with images of our making, which turn out to be images of ourselves.” ~ Daniel J. Boorstin
- “Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important … They justify it because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves. ” ~ T.S. Eliot
- “We are to give (and take) true love without falling into the narcissistic habit of only trying to take it in.” ~ Criss Jami
- “I spend my life constantly calling in ‘imaginary’ debts that aren’t owed to me in order to avoid the ‘real’ debts that I owe to others, and so everybody ends up bankrupt.” ~ Craig D. Lounsbrough
- “No other being is lesser human than the one who thinks of others as such.” ~ Abhijit Naskar
- “The worst lies were the lies I told myself about the lies others told me.” ~ Alice Little
- “Half the pain in human life comes from gazing in mirrors.” ~ Marty Rubin
- “When people are driving themselves crazy, they have neuroses or psychoses. When they drive other people crazy, they have personality disorders.” ~ Albert J. Bernstein
- “For the most part people are not curious except about themselves. ” ~ John Steinbeck
Quotes about narcissists
- “The narcissist is like a bucket with a hole in the bottom: No matter how much you put in, you can never fill it up. The phrase “I never feel like I am enough” is the mantra of the person in the narcissistic relationship. That’s because to your narcissistic partner, you are not. No one is. Nothing is.” ~ Dr. Ramani Durvasula
- “Hate is the complement of fear and narcissists like being feared. It imbues them with an intoxicating sensation of omnipotence.” ~ Sam Vaknin
- “Love is intermittent reinforcement with spouses and children alike. The child is love-bombed when the narcissist feels the child reflects their false self. The moment the child fails to do so, the narcissistic parent blithely discards them.” ~ M. Wakefield
- “I like to be admired from afar, and then complimented up close.” ~ Gena Showalter
- “Even though friends say they are interested in your life, they never really want to talk about you as much as you want them to. ” ~ Charise Mericle Harper
- “When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth just like you did.” – Jill Blakeway
- “Please repair your narcissism before you start loving your neighbor as yourself.” ~ Charles F. Glassman
- “Emotionally, narcissists are like brick walls who see and hear others but fail to understand or relate to them. As a result of their emotional shallowness, narcissists are essentially devoid of all empathy or compassion for other people. Lacking empathy, a narcissist is a very destructive and dangerous person to be around.” ~ Mateo Sol
- “I understand perfectly because I’m in love with myself. The fact that I’m not transfixed in front of the nearest mirror takes a great deal of self-control.” ~ Anne Rice
- “Narcissists have poor self-esteem, but they are typically very successful. They feel entitled; they’re self-important; they crave admiration and lack empathy. They are also exploitative and envious. The malignant types never forget a slight. They may kill you ten years later for cutting them off in traffic. But they act perfectly normal while plotting their revenge.” ~ Janet M. Tavakoli
- “The ‘I’ is the ego that we must avoid at any cost, if we truly wish to be different from narcissists. Instead of using ‘I’ repeatedly, it would be wise to replace it with ‘we’.” ~ Mwanandeke Kindembo
- “Withhold admiration from a narcissist and be disliked. Give it and be treated with indifference.” ~ Mason Cooley
- “I wish that people would stop destroying other people just because they were once destroyed.” ~ Karen Salmansohn
- “Narcissists would rather lie and humiliate you than to admit that they were in the wrong.” ~ Mitta Xinindlu
- “Narcissists withhold affection to punish you. Withhold attention to get revenge. And withhold an emotional empathetic response to make you feel insecure.” ~ Alice Little
- “When the healthy pursuit of self-interest and self-realization turns into self-absorption, other people can lose their intrinsic value in our eyes and become mere means to the fulfillment of our needs and desires.” ~ P.M. Forni
- “Relationships with narcissists are held in place by hope of a ‘someday better,’ with little evidence to support it will ever arrive.” ~ Ramani Durvasula
- “The spirit of arrogance most definitely makes you shine. It paints a bright red target on your own forehead.” ~ Criss Jami
- “Sadly, when many individuals realize that the narcissist is insecure and isn’t reassured, they try harder to love this person. Additionally, the narcissist blames his/her behavior on something that you are or aren’t doing, and a hooked person we may try to ‘do it better’ or ‘get it right. ’ Your increased efforts to love and fix the narcissist only lines you up for more abuse.” ~ Melanie Tonia Evans
- “The lion is most handsome when looking for food.” ~ Rumi
- “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” ~ Oscar Wilde
- “Relationship with a narcissist in a nutshell: You will go from being the perfect love of their life, to nothing you do is ever good enough. You will give your everything and they will take it all and give you less and less in return. You will end up depleted, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and probably financially, and then get blamed for it.” ~ Bree Bonchay
- “He’s satisfied with himself. If you have a soul you can’t be satisfied.” ~ Graham Greene
- “I am a recovering narcissist. I thought narcissism was about self-love till someone told me there is a flip side to it. It is actually drearier than self-love; it is unrequited self-love. ” ~ Emily Levine
- “How many narcissists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they don’t use lightbulbs, they use gaslighting!” ~ Anonymous
- “If you want to go from being adored to devalued in the blink of an eye, simply insult the narcissist.” ~ Tigress Luv
- “Everyone thinks they’re entitled to their 15 minutes of fame. And it’s that narcissism that makes people, who have no business writing a book, think they can write a book.” ~ Oliver Markus Malloy
- “But both the narcissist and his partner do not really consider each other. Trapped in the moves of an all-consuming dance macabre, they follow the motions morbidly – semiconscious, desensitized, exhausted, and concerned only with survival.” ~ Sam Vaknin
- “Realize that narcissists have an addiction disorder. They are strongly addicted to feeling significant. Like any addict they will do whatever it takes to get this feeling often. That is why they are manipulative and future fakers. They promise change, but can’t deliver if it interferes with their addiction. That is why they secure back up supply.” ~ Shannon L. Alder
- “Observe well how the word ‘narcissism’ is often used into marriages. The victims are often those who have separated with their significant other, rather than being on good terms with them. Therefore, we must dig deeper to the core of the word and discover its true meaning. In return, we will get a glimpse of our mentality and the main attributes that drive us to label each other with that conflicted word.” ~ Mwanandeke Kindembo
- “Parents are supposed to give the child back to herself with love. If they’ve got duct tape over their eyes because of narcissism, it doesn’t happen.” ~ Jane Fonda
- “In this situation, what we call natural ethics has nothing to offer but the narcissistic satisfaction of being able to think one is better than others. This is where ethics based on religion enters the scene with its promises of a better life hereafter. I am inclined to think that, for as long as virtue goes unrewarded here below, ethics will preach in vain.” ~ Sigmund Freud
- “Since narcissists deep down feel themselves to be faultless, it is inevitable that when they are in conflict with the world they will invariably perceive the conflict as the world’s fault.” ~ Scott Peck
- “How starved you must have been that my heart became a meal for your ego.” ~ Amanda Torroni
- “No matter how socially skilled an extreme narcissist is, he has a major attachment dysfunction. The extreme narcissist is frozen in childhood.” ~ Samuel Lopez de Victoria
- “I wonder if the course of narcissism through the ages would have been any different had Narcissus first peered into a cesspool. He probably did.” ~ Frank O’Hara
- “Pathological narcissists can lose touch with reality in subtle ways that become extremely dangerous over time. When they can’t let go of their need to be admired or recognized, they have to bend or invent a reality in which they remain special despite all messages to the contrary.” ~ Bandy X Lee
- “What are narcissists looking for, after all? Just someone at their level that they can feel superior to.” ~ Luigina Sgarro
- “Love doesn’t die a natural death. Love has to be killed, either by neglect or narcissism.” ~ Frank Salvato
- “Where there is much pride or much vanity, there will also be much revengefulness.” ~ Arthur Schopenhauer
Toxic narcissist quotes
- “I don’t care what you think unless it is about me.” ~ Kurt Cobain
- “For some, life may be a playground to undermine the brainwaves of others or simply a vainglorious game with an armory of theatrics, illustrating only bleak self-deception, haughty narcissism and dim deficiency in empathy.” ~ Erik Pevernagie
- “Healthy levels of narcissism and self-enhancement are necessary, with a low level of self-enhancement being detrimental to our wellbeing and success. ” ~ Theresa Jackson
- “Narcissism falls along the axis of what psychologists call personality disorders . . . but by most measures, narcissism is one of the worst, if only because the narcissists themselves are so clueless.” ~ Jeffrey Kluger
- “The narcissist would love nothing more than to know you are eating uncooked Top Ramen out of a dumpster for dinner tonight while wearing yesterday’s underwear.” ~ Tina Swithin
- “Ego is borne of the need to ‘prove’ oneself instead of making the choice to ‘be’ oneself.”~ Craig D. Lounsbrough
- “The only crime is pride.” ~ Sophocles
- “I have a very simple question to people who seem to suffer from excessive narcissism: Please name three other persons who are smarter and more capable than you, in the field you work in. In most cases they are utterly unable to answer that question honestly.” ~ Ingo Molnar
- “For all his inner suffering, the narcissist has many traits that make for success in bureaucratic institutions, which put premium on the manipulation of interpersonal relations, discourage the formation of deep personal attachments, and at the same time provide the narcissist with the approval he needs in order to validate his self-esteem. ” ~ Christopher Lasch
- “You consider yourself your most fascinating subject.” ~ Britt Bennett
Narcissistic abuse quotes
- “Narcissus does not fall in love with his reflection because it is beautiful, but because it is his. If it were his beauty that enthralled him, he would be set free in a few years by its fading.” ~ W.H. Auden
- “The narcissist devours people, consumes their output, and casts the empty, writhing shells aside.” ~ Sam Vaknin
- “Narcissistic abuse is not just that someone dumped you or who you had a little tiff with them. NA is psychological abuse and brainwashing using intermittent reward and punishment, coercive control and withholding normal empathetic, emotional reactions to lower your self esteem.” ~ Alice Little
- “Narcissistic love is riding on the rollercoaster of disaster filled with a heart full of tears.”~ Sheree Griffin
- “But that’s the thing about narcissists. They can try to fool you, with all their heart, but in the end, they’re just fooling themselves.” ~ Ellie Fox
- “Some people seem like a bright light during your darkest moment… a beautiful refuge… but it’s a trap… there is only more pain there. Now that I think about it… I imagine that’s what bugs feel like when they fly into the zapper.” ~ Steve Maraboli
- “Being a control freak is a weakness, not a strength. If you can’t allow others to shine, you’re exhibiting signs of narcissism and showing a lack of self-confidence. It is isolation through ego.” ~ Stewart Stafford
- “She could feel him, glaring at her with a psychotic look in his eyes, taking pleasure in her suffering, using it to fuel his next move.” ~ Arti Manani
- “Anybody who wishes to go beyond the free-will of another person is already practising narcissistic characteristics.” ~ Mwanandeke Kindembo
- “There was nothing more unattractive than narcissism, she thought: nothing could transform beauty into a cloying, unattractive quality than that self-conscious appreciation of self. ” ~ Alexander McCall Smith
Narcissistic relationship Quotes
- “Love without sacrifice is like theft.” ~ Nassim Nicholas Taleb
- “I loved myself and since I loved me, I loved him because I realized he was good for me. A type of self worth, a type of narcissistic love.” ~ Dominic Riccitello
- “A culture of narcissism is not a place where love can flourish. The emergence of “me” culture is a direct response to our nation’s failure tot truly actualize the vision of democracy. While emotional needs are difficult, and often impossible to satisfy, material desires are easier to fulfill.” ~ Bell Hooks
- “Daughters of narcissistic mothers absorb the message “I am valued for what I do, rather than for who I am.” ~ Karyl McBride
- “Nobody can be kinder than the narcissist while you react to life on his terms.” ~ Elizabeth Bowen
- “Every generation narcissistically believes they are the greatest generation. ” ~ Brien Pittman
- “Beware of narcissistic people. They’ll tell everyone you’re crazy, only to cover up their trickery. ” ~ Mitta Xinindlu
- “An abuser’s psychological diagnosis isn’t the problem. Their sense of entitlement is.” ~ Caroline Abbott
- “I’m too ugly to be a narcissist.” ~ Mitch Albom
- “Self-love for ever creeps out, like a snake, to sting anything which happens … to stumble upon it.” ~ George Gordon Noel Byron
- “In a narcissist’s world you are not their one and only. You are an extension of that person and last place in their mind, while they secure back up narcissistic supply.” ~ Shannon L. Alder
- “Here too, we can see that not being open to learning something new does not automatically make someone a narcissist. In fact, a narcissist is required to be more knowledgeable in many fields; mostly in psychology. ” ~ Mwanandeke Kindembo
- “You might as well bang your head into a brick wall if you expect the narcissist to be reasonable, empathetic or human in any way. If you sense or witness any of these traits, there is an ulterior motive. When the narcissist is being nice, it’s because they have something to gain.” ~ Tina Swithin
- “White feminist narcissism has no truck with the idea that we are anything but victims.” ~ Alison Phipps
- “Every narcissist is a hero and a legend in his own mind.” ~ Oscar Auliq-Ice
- “Some people think that the world revolves around them but even the Sun is not the center of the Universe.” ~ Halle Teart
- “Narcissists are emotional porcupines, watch out for the quills!” ~ Tracy A. Malone
- “The ultimate obscenity is not caring, not doing something about what you feel, not feeling! Just drawing back and drawing in, becoming narcissistic. ” ~ Rod Serling
- “There’s a reason narcissists don’t learn from mistakes and that’s because they never get past the first step which is admitting that they made one.” ~ Jeffrey Kluger
- “The question ‘How are you (doing)?’ is the most common way of indirectly saying ‘Ask me how I am (doing)’.” ~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Karma narcissist quotes
- “Out of all the addictions in the world, Attention is slowly but surely becoming one of the most dangerous.” ~ Saahil Prem
- “It is not love that should be depicted as blind, but self-love.” ~ Voltaire
- “Narcissism and self-deception are survival mechanisms without which many of us might just jump off a bridge.” – Todd Solondz
- “When narcissists behave in an exhibitionistic manner, they are seeking the same sort of admiration as toddlers, and for the same reasons. They want attention. Some examples include inappropriate dress, talking too loudly, or gesturing in expansive and space-intruding ways.” ~ Mark Ettensohn
- “His arrogance is going to bury whatever parts of him which survived the death of his pretentiousness.” ~ Niedria Dionne Kenny
- “The main priority of everyone surrounding a highly narcissistic person is to ensure that they are looking after themselves, maintaining their own mental and physical health and wellbeing, before looking after the narcissist.” ~ Theresa Jackson
- “Individuality should not translate to narcissism. Realizing the strength of individuality is an accomplishment while being narcissistic is a failure.” ~ Amitav Chowdhury
- “For someone as amazing as you, attention is like food, and you’re always hungry.” ~ Seth McDonough
- “By aggrandizing one’s own abilities and achievements, the grandiose person remains out of touch with who they truly are and as such, remains prone to crossing the boundaries of others. ” ~ Steven Franssen
- “A man who loves others based solely on how they make him feel, or what they do for him, is really not loving others at all – but loving only himself.” ~ Criss Jami
Quotes about narcissism
- “The biggest impediment to loving life is our inflated egos. Only by suppressing our ego and controlling our selfish thoughts can we truly comprehend the immaculate beauty of every day unfolding before us.” ~ Kilroy J. Oldster
- “No one has probably helped me more with my narcissism than my dog.” ~ Tucker Max
- “Narcissists, however, are similar to a spider that has built a web for its prey to bring itself.” ~ Mwanandeke Kindembo
- “But the line between moral behavior and narcissistic self-righteousness is thin and difficult to discern.” ~ Dean Koontz
- “I was trapped in an awful spiral of insecure narcissism. ” ~ Amy Poehler
- “Yes, Eleanor loathed herself and yet required praise, which she then never believed.” ~ Hanif Kureishi
- “Don’t confuse between self-love and narcissism. Self- love is making yourself your number one priority but narcissism is start enforcing that priority over others. First one is healthy; second one is not. First one is for your mental healthiness and well-being while the second one is to mess up with other peoples’ peace of mind to serve your own needs.” ~ Gracia Hunter
- “Narcissism is, indeed, the new world order.” ~ Ramani Durvasula
- “You give up your narcissism, your egotism. That’s how you achieve chemistry.” ~ Nick Nolte
- “A Narcissist will never admit they have a problem, if confronted with their own bad behavior they will do their very best to make people believe they are the victim.” ~ Harvey Stuarts
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100 Narcissist Quotes To Better Understand Self-Absorbed People (2022)
Whether in the workplace or in your friend group, narcissists can be difficult to deal with.
The narcissist quotes below can help you better understand their behavior.How have you dealt with narcissists in the past?
The concept of narcissism has often been discussed by writers, psychologists, celebrities, and more.
Merriam-Webster defines narcissism as, “extremely self-centered with an exaggerated sense of self-importance.”
To further convince themselves that the world revolves around them, narcissists may lie to and manipulate those around them.
If you comment on their behavior, a narcissist may try to turn the blame on you.
The 50 insightful quotes below will help you overcome their intimidating behavior and protect your own mental health in the process.
If you like this article, we suggest you explore our most popular quotes article, a list of short inspirational quotes for daily encouragement.
Look through our complete collection of inspirational quotes here.Narcissist quotes defining the term
1. “Narcissism has more in common with self-hatred than with self-admiration.” – Christopher Lasch
2. “Narcissism falls along the axis of what psychologists call personality disorders…but by most measures, narcissism is one of the worst, if only because the narcissists themselves are so clueless.” – Jeffrey Kluger
3. “When narcissists behave in an exhibitionistic manner, they are seeking the same sort of admiration as toddlers, and for the same reasons. They want attention. Some examples include inappropriate dress, talking too loudly, or gesturing in expansive and space-intruding ways.” – Mark Ettensohn
4. “No matter how socially skilled an extreme narcissist is, he has a major attachment dysfunction. The extreme narcissist is frozen in childhood.” – Samuel Lopez de Victoria
5. “There’s a reason narcissists don’t learn from mistakes and that’s because they never get past the first step which is admitting that they made one. ” – Jeffrey Kluger
6. “Narcissists alone are blatant in their self-inflation and braggadocio—leavened with a necessary dose of self-deception.” – Daniel Goleman
7. “A narcissist is someone who has a grandiose sense of self-importance, harbors obsessive fantasies of unbounded glory, feels rage or intense shame when criticized, expects special favors, and lacks empathy.” – Daniel Goleman
8. “Narcissism is eye trouble, voluntary blindness, an agreement to keep up appearances (hence the importance of “style”) and not to look beneath the surface.” – Sam Keen
9. “Being a narcissist isn’t easy when the question is not of loving your own image, but of recreating the self through deliberate acts of alienation.” – OrlanThought-provoking narcissist quotes
10. “Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people. ” – Andre Dubus
11. “Hate is the complement of fear and narcissists like being feared. It imbues them with an intoxicating sensation of omnipotence.” – Sam Vaknin
12. “I like to think I’m not a narcissist, but truth be told, we all have those sides to our character.” – Lisa O’Hare
13. “A false image is, of course, a work of art, an idol. And a lie. A narcissist identifies with this image, not his true inner self. So, all he cares about is his image, not what kind of person he really is. Indeed, the latter has no real existence in his world.” – Kathleen Krajco
14. “I think narcissists are endlessly watchable. The way they view the world and the way they interact within the world. They have no concept of their behavior or how it might be affecting other people. So comedically, it’s a very fun type of character to play. They are bulls in a china shop, twenty-four seven.” – Michael Showalter
15. “He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.” – Benjamin Franklin
16. “Narcissists are afflicted with a bottomless appetite. . .for recognition, attention, glory, rewards. And it’s a zero-sum thing. Every moment a narcissist spends listening to another party guest tell a story is a moment in which the stage has been surrendered.” – Jeffrey Kluger
17. “I’m a recovering narcissist. I didn’t know I was a narcissist, actually. I thought narcissism meant you love yourself, and then someone told me there’s a flip side to it. So it’s actually drearier than self-love; it’s unrequited self-love.” – Emily Levine
18. “You’re human. You’ll screw up. Denying that is crazy. Forgiving yourself has all the benefits of self-esteem without making you a narcissist that’s out of touch with reality.” – David D. Burns
19. “For me narcissism is not about money. For me, narcissism is something so romantic and something so human. Everybody is a narcissist. Some people admit it and some people don’t. As an artist, it’s important to be a narcissist. Look at Picasso, look at Warhol…. As an artist, you can get away with a lot of things that normal people cannot.” – Nir Hod
20. “The main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one’s narcissism.” – Erich Fromm
21. “I’m totally a narcissist, so I was doing all this performance and having lots of weird ego time, and learning to set aside my love for the ego and find a deeper love for myself and through that seeing myself as one with all beings. And through loving myself, loving all people in the world, that was my cure for narcissism, the only cure.” – Larkin Grimm
22. “Underneath the so-called narcissistic personality is definitely shame and the paralyzing fear of being ordinary.” – Brené Brown
23. “Narcissists install a mental filter in our heads a little bit at a time. . . . ‘Will he get upset if I do/say/think this? Will he approve/disapprove? Will he feel hurt by this?’ Until we can uninstall the narcissist-filter, our actions are controlled by narcissists to some degree.” – Sam VakninFunny narcissist quotes
24. “The narcissist would love nothing more than to know you are eating uncooked Top Ramen out of a dumpster for dinner tonight while wearing yesterday’s underwear.” – Tina Swithin
25. “He was like the cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.” – George Eliot
26. “I have always been suspicious of romantic love. It looks too much like a narcissism shared by two.” – Rita Mae Brown
27. “It is especially painful when narcissists suffer memory loss because they are losing parts of the person they love most.” – David Brooks
28. “I love narcissists-even more than they love themselves. You don’t have to buoy them up. They are their own razzle-dazzle show and you are the blessed, favored with a front-row seat.” – Patricia Marx
29. “Narcissus does not fall in love with his reflection because it is beautiful, but because it is his. If it were his beauty that enthralled him, he would be set free in a few years by its fading.” – W.H. Auden
30. “The world is so rife with narcissists that none of them take enough notice of me.” – Eleanor Bron
31. “In true, narcissistic fashion, when my father was diagnosed as a narcissist, he called us all up individually to tell us, and he did it with true pride.” – Neal BrennanNarcissist quotes for interacting with narcissists
32. “Withhold admiration from a narcissist and be disliked. Give it and be treated with indifference.” – Mason Cooley
33. “Nobody can be kinder than the narcissist while you react to life in his own terms.” – Elizabeth Bowen
34. “There is simply no winning with a narcissist. He will treat you so horribly that you will become withdrawn and depressed and then he will turn around and say, ‘You’re no fun anymore, you’re always so depressed. I need to be with someone more positive.’” – Susan Williams
If you’re enjoying these quotes, you’ll love our collection of powerful depression quotes that will provide perspective.
35. “If you want to go from being adored to devalued in the blink of an eye, simply insult the narcissist.” – Tigress Luv
36. “You might as well bang your head into a brick wall if you expect the narcissist to be reasonable, empathetic or human in any way. If you sense or witness any of these traits, there is an ulterior motive. When the narcissist is being nice, it’s because they have something to gain.” – Tina Swithin
37. “If you tell a narcissist that someone is less than them in any way, they feel gratified; they feel very good about that. ” – Indya Moore
38. “A narcissist wants you to adopt his version of himself.” – Hart Pomerantz
39. “The narcissist enjoys being looked at and not looking back.” – Mason Cooley
40. “Seeking admiration is like a drug for narcissists. In the long run it becomes difficult because others won’t applaud them, so they always have to search for new acquaintances from whom they get the next fix.” – Mitja D. Back
41. “The fantasy world of Narcissists can have a seductive allure that promises to envelop you in its specialness. Their superficial charm can be enchanting, and they often appear complicated, colorful, and exciting as they draw you into their narcissistic web.” – Sandy Hotchkiss
42. “Learning to spot narcissists and deal with their destructive behavior can save you the world of hurt that awaits anyone who mistakes the near enemy for a friend.” – Martha Beck
43. “Though they are quick to put others down, unhealthy narcissists view themselves in absolutely positive terms.” – Daniel Goleman
44. “My father was a textbook narcissist. If he didn’t like the narrative he’d start gaslighting you. He threatened the democracy of our family.” – Randy Rainbow
45. “Blogs are nothing more than a personal meandering diary for public consumption – a narcissist’s dream. So you can imagine when bloggers take themselves – and their blogs – seriously, it’s super annoying.” – Carole Radziwill
46. “Narcissism has existed for a long time; social media is just a new outlet to express it. Anybody who is going to record themselves and put that on the Internet, hoping people will watch, there is a degree to which that exists, yeah. I don’t know if I would call myself a narcissist. I don’t necessarily identify with that label.” – Tyler Oakley
If you’re enjoying these quotes, you’ll love our collection of thought-provoking social media quotes.
47. “I’m definitely a narcissist, and TV is fabulous for narcissists.” – Paulina Porizkova
48. “Call it egotistical or narcissist, but I think that’s what we all look for in books – the right stories that help us make sense of the world that we, on a very personal level, live in every day.” – John Corey Whaley
49. “There are athletes and celebrities that are out there and they Twitter and they constantly try to drum up press because they’re narcissists.” – Geoff Stults
50. “I think it’s very difficult, and it requires a tremendous amount of spiritual integrity and discipline, to not be a narcissist in a culture that encourages it every step of the way.” – Alan Ball
51. “Whoever loves becomes humble. Those who love have, so to speak, pawned a part of their narcissism.” – Sigmund Freud
52. “Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don’t mean to do harm. But the harm does not interest them.” – T. S. Eliot
53. “It is not love that should be depicted as blind, but self-love.” – Voltaire
More Narcissist quotes and sayings
54. “People, no matter the economic class, find ways to feed their narcissism.” – Lynne Tillman
55. “For the most part people are not curious except about themselves.” – John Steinbeck
56. “Nice people don’t necessarily fall in love with nice people.” – Jonathan Franzen
57. “I always call myself a recovering narcissist. I lived my life thinking everything was about me.” – Fantastic Negrito
58. “A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.” – Gore Vidal
59. “He’s satisfied with himself. If you have a soul you can’t be satisfied.” – Graham Greene
60. “No game designer ever went wrong by overestimating the narcissism of their players. ” – Will WrightNarcissist Quotes To Help You Overcome Narcissism Relationships
61. “You can teach a narcissist to show up on time, but you can’t train them to listen once they get there.” ― Dr. Ramani Durvasula
62. “Narcissus weeps to find that his Image does not return his love.” — Mason Cooley
63. “When I look at narcissism through the vulnerability lens, I see the shame-based fear of being ordinary. I see the fear of never feeling extraordinary enough to be noticed, to be lovable, to belong, or to cultivate a sense of purpose.” — Brené Brown
64.“Children of narcissists learn that love is abuse. The narcissist teaches them that if someone displeases you, it is okay to harm them and call it love.” ― M. Wakefield
65. “The narcissist is like a bucket with a hole in the bottom: No matter how much you put in, you can never fill it up.” — Dr. Ramani Durvasula
66. “As a result of their emotional shallowness, narcissists are essentially devoid of all empathy or compassion for other people. Lacking empathy, a narcissist is a very destructive and dangerous person to be around.” ― Mateo Sol
67. “Relationship with a narcissist in a nutshell: You will go from being the perfect love of their life, to nothing you do is ever good enough. You will give your everything and they will take it all and give you less and less in return. You will end up depleted, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and probably financially, and then get blamed for it.” — Bree Bonchay
68. “For some, life may be a playground to undermine the brainwaves of others or simply a vainglorious game with an armory of theatrics, illustrating only bleak self-deception, haughty narcissism, and dim deficiency in empathy.” ― Erik Pevernagie
69. “Narcissistic love is riding on the rollercoaster of disaster filled with a heart full of tears. ”— Sheree Griffin
70. “But that’s the thing about narcissists. They can try to fool you, with all their heart, but in the end, they’re just fooling themselves.” ― Ellie Fox
Narcissist Quotes To Deal With Narcissists And Narcissist Abuse.
71. “Love doesn’t die a natural death. Love has to be killed, either by neglect or narcissism.” – Frank Salvato
72. “A narcissist paints a picture of themselves as being the victim or innocent in all aspects. They will be offended by the truth. But what is done in the dark will come to light. Time has a way of showing people’s true colors.” – Karla Grimes
73. “Relationships with narcissists are held in place by the hope of a ‘someday better,’ with little evidence to support it will ever arrive.” – Ramani Durvasula
74. “Maybe, the lesson we can all learn from the inner sadness of a narcissist is to see through our own fabrications, our own illusions so that we can be set free to be real once more. ” – Shannon L. Alder
75. “Since narcissists deep down feel themselves to be faultless, it is inevitable that when they are in conflict with the world they will invariably perceive the conflict as the world’s fault.” – M. Scott Peck
76. “Narcissistic abuse is not just that someone dumped you or who you had a little tiff with them. NA is psychological abuse and brainwashing using intermittent reward and punishment, coercive control and withholding normal empathetic, emotional reactions to lower your self esteem.” ― Alice Little
77. “A narcissist’s criticism is their autobiography.” ― M. Wakefield
78. “Americans are experiencing an epidemic in narcissistic behavior in a culture that is intrinsically self-conscious and selfish, and citizens are encouraged to pursue happiness and instant gratification of their personal desires.” ― Kilroy J. Oldster
79. “Self love: Being content with the work-in-progress you are. Not seeking approval from others. Being yourself. Comparing yourself only to who you were in the past, not to others. Not thinking you are better than anyone else. Narcissism: None of the above.” — Zero Dean
80. “A narcissist can be your husband, wife, mother, father, sister, brother, boyfriend, girlfriend, neighbor, boss, church member, or anyone you come in contact with. There are endless possibilities of ‘who’ they can be. The important thing to remember is the actions, behaviors are all very similar.” ― Tracy Malone
Narcissist Quotes To Help You Identify Their Character And Handle Them
81. “The extreme sociopathic narcissist is the center of his own universe.” ― Kasy Spears
82. “A narcissist will never care about your feelings, your emotions and your needs and will try to manipulate and exploit you.” ― Amy Johnson
83. “A narcissist will almost always dismiss your plans and ideas.” ― Amanda Hope
84. “Indeed, narcissists will steal credit from others when something good happens and blame others when things go badly.” ― Constantine Sedikides
85. “With a narcissist, you cannot have a voice or an opinion; you must meet their demands and tolerate and accept their disrespect towards you because they say they love you.” ― Ella Jayne West
86. “Narcissists only want you to show the parts of your character that benefit them.” ― Maggie Petraki
87. “You can make a deal with a narcissist, legalize it, and discover that he suddenly has changed his mind and will not honor his commitment.” ― Linda Martinez-Lewi
88. “A narcissist’s excessive self-importance is a mask to hide their low self-worth.” ― Ed Russo
89. “The narcissist becomes his own world and believes the whole world is him.” ― Alexander Lowen
90. “It’s nearly impossible for individuals with narcissistic personality disorder to truly fall in love and build a trusting, equal partnership. ” ― Taylor Hench
Narcissist Quotes To Help You Identify Their Character
91. “Every narcissist is a hero and a legend in his own mind.” ― Oscar Auliq-Ice
92. “How starved you must have been that my heart became a meal for your ego.” — Amanda Torroni
93. “The ultimate obscenity is not caring, not doing something about what you feel, not feeling! Just drawing back and drawing in, becoming narcissistic.” ― Rod Serling
94. “Daughters of narcissistic mothers absorb the message “I am valued for what I do, rather than for who I am.” ― Karyl McBride
95. “Relationships with narcissists are held in place by hope of a ‘someday better,’ with little evidence to support it will ever arrive.” — Dr. Ramani Durvasula
96. “Beware of narcissistic people. They’ll tell everyone you’re crazy, only to cover up their trickery. ” ― Mitta Xinindlu
97. “What are narcissists looking for, after all? Just someone at their level that they can feel superior to.” ― Luigina Sgarro
98. “Narcissists withhold affection to punish you. Withhold attention to get revenge. And withhold an emotional empathetic response to make you feel insecure.” ― Alice Little
99. “Narcissists, however, are similar to a spider that has built a web for its prey to bring itself.” ― Mwanandeke Kindembo
100. “The narcissist devours people, consumes their output, and casts the empty, writhing shells aside.” — Sam VakninWhen’s the last time you interacted with a narcissist?
Although narcissists seem confident at the surface, they are often dealing with internal struggles such as self-doubt and fear of failure.
If you are a victim of narcissistic behavior, remember that their behavior has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own insecurities.
Narcissists will often do anything to preserve their warped worldview.
If you can, make strides to get out of that toxic relationship as soon as possible.
There are tons of great people out there who will accept you as you are and will treat you with respect.
Which of these narcissist quotes and sayings resonated with you the most?
Are you planning on sharing any on social media?
Let us know your thoughts below!
September 14, 2022 6:00 AM EST
Read online “While You Tried to Become a God… The Painful Path of a Narcissist”, Irina Mlodik – LitRes
This book is not typical for our publishing house, but we decided to publish it, and here's why.
The problem of narcissism - a personality disorder that significantly complicates the life of both the person himself and his loved ones - is more relevant today than ever. The number of daffodils is constantly growing. And that in itself makes the book timely.
The genre proposed by the author is the best suited for the reader to understand and feel the essence of narcissistic disorders. The book includes a work of fiction describing the manifestations of narcissism in everyday life, and an article that analyzes the symptoms and psychological essence of narcissism, as well as outlines the conditions for psychotherapeutic work with such clients.
On the one hand, the phenomenology, the “living tissue”, the daily manifestations of narcissism and the “nutrient environment” that gives it the opportunity to take root in a person become visible and tangible. Surely the characters presented on the pages of this book are painfully familiar to many of us. On the other hand, emotional immersion, "affected" that arise in the process of reading help to understand and feel what exactly is being discussed in the article, which provides an analysis of the symptoms characteristic of narcissists. Thus, the reader gets a vivid and full-blooded, but at the same time structured picture of the violations observed in narcissism. And, most importantly, the non-specialist reader has the opportunity to realize that the habitual picture of the behavior of loved ones can be changed by contacting a psychotherapist for help.
Parents may be able to realize how detrimental to the child's personal development is constant comparison with others, humiliation, expectation of brilliant results from him, often dictated by the best of intentions. After all, how often are mothers who tell their children: “You must be the best! Look at Vanya (Manya)! ”, They believe that in this way they create an incentive for the development of the child. And then, when he becomes an adult, they wonder: why can't he make decisions on his own, why is he angry at the whole world and unhappy? They begin to look for the culprits in the environment of an adult child, not realizing that this is largely the work of their own hands. How often do wives (less often husbands) who go all out for their narcissistic "other half" feel powerless and helpless, unable to satiate the unquenchable thirst for recognition, becoming a means of overcoming the deepest problems of narcissists.
Specialist readers (psychologists and psychotherapists) are equally interested in a holistic picture of narcissism – a combination of life manifestations, phenomenology and scientific analysis.
So let this book serve as a warning to parents who satisfy their ambition at the expense of the child, an occasion for reflection for those who live near daffodils, and an assistant for specialists.
Chief editor of the publishing houseOlga Safuanova
While you were trying to become a god…
The painful path of the narcissist
Here is an unusual project. This is an artistic guide to narcissism - a novel and a psychological article in one book. Both the novel and the article are about people with narcissistic disorders. I suggest you look at the life of narcissists from two points of view: the people who live next to them, and the psychotherapist who works with them.
There are many narcissists, and there are some in your environment. And this book is a chance to learn more about them.
My warmest thanks:
to my parents for their support; sister Marina for interest, participation and hospitality; Asya Kamenskaya - for professional help, interesting ideas and understanding; Genesis publishing house for always warm participation, highly professional cooperation and ability to take risks
Dedicated to my husband Vlad V., who said: “It's time!”
“Don't you know? All the books have already been written!” he said to me once a long time ago. And really, what else can you write about? About love and war, people and mice, victories and defeats, incredible adventures, riddles and secrets - everything has long been written by a series of brilliant writers, as well as even more simpler writers and a myriad of those who would be better off forever remaining only readers. “All the books have already been written” sounds like a sentence.
And I agree. When you are already over forty, then, having read a lot of smart and truly talented books, you begin to understand: it is no longer possible to surprise anyone. Nothing. Anyway, me. But I want to! If not to surprise, then at least so, to tell ... To express oneself, so to speak. Reveal yourself to the world.
If I said this to him, he would slightly roll his brown eyes: “God, who cares about your self-expression!” Although this is exactly what he himself has always dreamed of: to express himself in such a way that the whole world understands how brilliant he is, so that everything around starts to move, and then freezes in mute delight. And then ... but the picture of what would happen next is not drawn in any way, more precisely, it falls apart.
Now he is recognized, what next? Much money. It's nice. So? Popular. Great at first... then tiring. Then some kind of emptiness ... And then they begin to forget him. Because, it turns out, they had to be surprised again! This means that he needs to prove himself again somehow in a special way! Necessarily new, fresh - otherwise it's not interesting. Otherwise, after all, they will say: “It was already worn out to holes, you are secondary, guy, and it doesn’t matter what is in relation to yourself. You have gone into circulation, ”and they will turn away. They will turn their backs on the one who so surprised them! They hung on his every word and obsequiously recognized his genius! He was sure that now he will always be a genius. So what?
You shouldn't have started. That's why he doesn't express himself. Because it's pointless, you understand? Yes understood. What's not to understand?! I am a fool, and you deceived everyone.
With him, I almost always felt not enough ... smart, beautiful, appropriate, charming, professional - depending on the circumstances. How did he do it? Easily. A barely perceptible trace of suffering appeared on his face every time something far from perfect happened. And since perfection happened, frankly, very rarely, then suffering was almost his natural state, and I could not help but feel it, being next to him. And, unfortunately, I could not help trying on myself. Separate from him, my imperfection did not bother me at all. On the contrary, when you can afford to be anything: a naive fool, a serene gouge, a cheerful hooligan, an incendiary bitch, life is somehow more interesting. With him, for some reason, I began to be ashamed of my imperfection and became somehow truncated, angular and awkward, like any person who is ashamed.
Our "centenary" acquaintance did not change anything in this scenario. He suffered, and I fell under this suffering, like a civilian under bombardment: suddenly, unfairly, with losses and injuries. For so many years, I have never been able to get used to the expression of disgusted suffering on his face and not to correlate this grimace with my own person.
In fairness, it should be noted that he was very good-looking, smart, charming. Many women went crazy over him. Fortunately, only in a figurative sense, otherwise there would not be enough beds in psychiatric hospitals for them. Besides, it would spoil the statistics a lot. Russia is ahead of the rest in crazy women!.. In short, he was good. Our Roman, who does not write novels, with whom I (thank God!) did not have an affair.
We met when he was still a journalist for a very fashionable Moscow newspaper at that time, which turned yellow over time. During periods of mania, he was sparkling, tireless, hyperactive and inimitably witty. He sparkled with ideas, shone with charm, could lead entire cities with him on some dangerous, but heroic campaign (at least, his female part). At this time, he felt perfect, almost divine. He could do anything, he just wanted to. All this extravaganza could last for minutes, days and even months, but it was always interrupted in the same way: by a sudden mistake, a miscalculation, someone's fleeting criticism or discontent. And he was instantly blown away: his eyes dimmed, the glow, and after him the charisma, disappeared completely - our Roman was rapidly diving into depression.
During such periods, he was completely unbearable both for us and for himself: all journalists are mediocre, the boss is a freak, women are hopelessly stupid, life is meaningless. If he opened his mouth, it was only to complain that everything hurt. Or to moan that in this country, which has turned into a huge belly of Gargantua, absorbing everything indiscriminately, a truly smart and intelligent person will never be appreciated! Never! In a country that laughs at Petrosyan, chews fast food, reads romance novels, there is nothing to catch. There is nothing! Understood? Yes, I understand what. Everyone is morons, and you are a genius, unrecognized, abandoned by everyone and eternally suffering.
Depressed, he practically could not work, because everything that came out of his pen was "monstrous" by his transcendental criteria. Although in reality - just sour, just "so-so", like ninety percent of the articles in his newspaper. But he considered it impossible for this disgrace to see the light, which plunged his wife Valya into a state close to panic: Roman was the financial hope and support of the family. With his dismissive non-participation in all other family affairs, Valyushka has long resigned herself: she raised two absolutely wonderful girls, ran the household, fed our genius with excellent lunches and dinners, and also managed to work as a literature teacher in an ordinary Moscow school. She possessed extraordinary kindness and patience, which only a truly loving Russian woman can possess. And he loved her, I guess. Anyway, I've always wanted to believe it. Otherwise, how unfair the world would be...
I loved her too. It was always good with her. A smile, comfort, a delicious smell from the kitchen, foreshadowing a lovingly prepared dinner. She managed the incredible: to fuss at the stove, while smiling and listening carefully. Even her back seemed sympathetic, compassionate and attentive.
She could have been told everything: about how I hid the described tights behind the battery in kindergarten, and told my mother that I had lost it. The first time I got drunk in a student hostel. How she carried change from her father, how she pulled off chewing gum in the store, and much more ... And never, not for a second, feel bad. In her sympathetic and at the same time shining eyes there was: “well, it turns out that it happens!” or "poor my, how did you get it." With her, I always felt good, not like with her beloved Romanchik, especially during periods of his acute melancholy.
- Why don't you write something worthwhile: an essay, a feature story, a short story, a novel, after all? Tired of his depression eroding everything around and my own tediousness, for the hundredth time I asked hopelessly in the vain hope of adding at least a little light and constructiveness to the darkness of his hopeless longing.
- About what? Who needs it? Don't you understand that this redneck doesn't need anything? They dream of only one thing: when they return from the factory, to rest their stupid faces against the telly, they are even too lazy to look at the TV program, they will be better off pushing the buttons on the remote control!
– Come on, not everyone is like that, there are also normal people – those who read good books…
– Well, who? How long have you seen these?
- Well, I, for example, Valyushka . .. We would be very happy to read your novel or story, or something else, it doesn’t matter ... - I stammered under his favorite suffering look: “Stop talking nonsense!”
Who am I? I'm forty now and I still don't know who I am. More precisely, I'm already over forty ... This is unthinkable! When my parents were as old as I am now, it seemed that they were living out their last years, that a forty-year-old was not an adult, but an elderly person. Am I an elderly person? Unthinkable! I don't feel it at all...
I am twenty at most, I am full of energy, I have everything ahead of me, and in general - I have not even begun to live! I am still afraid that someone will scold me or be dissatisfied with what I do, how I live. I still try, try for someone. As in childhood. You get an unexpected five - and life immediately gets better. You are sure that you are loved, and you feel good, and it is obvious that you can do everything! So you live in serenity and intoxication with life . .. until the next puncture.
One small failure, a bad mark, a parent's cry, the boss's displeasure - and everything fails, you become miserable, small, insignificant. Nobody loves you like that. This can not be abandoned only out of pity or out of the expectation that this worthless creature can improve and rehabilitate itself. It is at this very moment that all forces leave, and only one desire appears: to sleep and not wake up.
The feeling of my own insignificance is unbearable, it corrodes the remnants of self-respect, erases grains of meaning, threatens me with a great Rejection, and then I want to reject everyone in the world, in general, this whole world, to refuse it, throw it out the window and draw the curtains. Stay in darkness and silence, hear the beat of your own heart and understand that you are alive. Live without them all. To understand that it doesn’t matter to the heart whether I’m bad or good, it continues to beat, it doesn’t betray me, I’m always there for it.
But it is impossible to renounce everything, because the world calls me to itself: I need to go to work, go down the subway, I need to pretend to be a father and husband. And then there is nothing left for me: I begin to hate the world, from which I cannot shut myself off. I can only spit it out through my hatred. It somehow helps to live. Perhaps because an illusion appears: having destroyed this monstrous world with the power of my disgust, I can then rebuild a new one - according to my own rules and laws. A just and righteous world that I will rule!..”
Well, why did I always want to move him towards the light, at least a little, especially at such moments when his depression-night was gloomy, stuffy, akin to insomnia on warm and wrinkled sheets? What do I need the most? What am I, his mother?! How quickly and inexorably my inner "rescuer" grew in me, a kind of mother Teresa - the abbess of a shelter for orphans and the poor. She, they say, could not sleep until the last poor man was fed, the needy was not blessed, and the orphan, who lost his fortune and parents in addition, was not consoled and did not look to the future with hope. It was hard for me in Romashkin's depression: I did not feel so insolvent and helpless with anyone else. My God, how my Teresa tried to overshadow that high and gloomy forehead with a ray of light and hope. All in vain.
Even Valyushka's warmth, hundreds of watts more powerful than mine, was unable to melt the heart of this hopelessly frozen Kai, who wanted the word "eternity" to form on its own. Wow, if I knew this Snow Queen, who treated our talented Kai in such a way, I would ... I wouldn’t be able to do anything. Moreover, I knew this Queen - Romashkin's mother.
A woman-power (it is no accident that the word "power" is feminine), a woman-career, a policewoman (there is a mistake with the feminine). Although no, there was very little truly feminine in her, except perhaps: a carefully styled hairstyle, an impeccable suit, well-groomed hands, incredibly expensive shoes and a bag always matched to her tone. If Romka's contempt was brightened up by his personal suffering, then her arrogance and contempt killed even through quite intelligent manners and a forcedly polite smile, demonstrating only the impeccable work of the most fashionable and expensive dentist in Moscow. If in the presence of Romka I just felt "not enough ...", then the Snow Queen plunged me into a state of complete and final insignificance, like a small kitten in its first puddle on the floor.
In her presence, the only way out seemed to suggest itself: cease to exist. Freeze, pretend to be inanimate nature: for example, some kind of stone. She did not scan the inanimate with her freezing, perfectly lined eye, did not evaluate, did not destroy. Then it was definitely possible to survive. I knew how to pretend to be a stone, but Roman and Valyushka did not. What happened to them in the presence of the Queen is hard to even describe. Every time Teresa's heart bled with liters of saving blood, watching this next act of a family production called "The appearance of the Queen Mother to the only crown prince who still did not live up to her expectations."
At first, she considered Valyushka a misunderstanding that happened to her son, who, through an oversight, fell into a student gap and showed disobedience incomprehensible to her cold and rational mind, which allowed her to marry this peasant rascal in secret (!) from her loving mother. Having delivered several quite convincing and devastating speeches on this occasion to her “not knowing what she was doing” son, she was convinced that the misunderstanding in the form of the already pregnant Valyushka would quickly dissipate, like a short nightmare that had a dream in the morning. But Valyushka did not dissipate, and therefore the Queen soon appointed her "inanimate nature", which she usually does not even honor with a glance, let alone a word. All seventeen years, the kindest woman on Earth tried to please this Iceberg. But Iceberg did not even touch the fragrant dinner, nor the tea, nor the famous Valyushka's pie, which even those who never ate with gusto ate with pleasure. From Valyushka's gaze, a child who fell into an uncontrollable hysteria calmed down, the most aggressive teenager ceased to squirm, the rudest man in the subway stopped swearing and was embarrassed, like a student student. But nothing could affect Lady Iceberg.
I think that the Queen deliberately tried not to look at her daughter-in-law in order to avoid these spells and not to melt water from tenderness and joy that her heir got such a miracle. But if it weren't for Valyushka, Romchik would almost certainly not have survived: either he drank himself or would not have come out of some particularly rapid depressive peak.
Although the Queen thought quite differently: her son's talent did not fully reveal itself and did not show the world a new financial genius precisely because of his early marriage and his own softness, inherited from an unreasonable father.
“Your father” was the only way she called a person who had once been near at the moment of the crushing collapse of her Komsomol career. It was he who dared to approach the lady whose presence made everyone, without exception, small, worthless and useless. On that day, confusion and fear appeared in her eyes, making her just a small, as if guilty and lost girl, sitting on a party leather sofa. Just then, he put his warm hand over her manicured pale hand, and then said what men usually say in such cases:
- Let's go, I'll feed you dinner. I'm a good cook.
And he brought her, defeated, to his house. Feeding her really tasty cooked food. I listened to her indignant speech about how she was treated unfairly. “They still don’t know who they contacted ... They will find out yet ... And after all, who??? Well, who would have thought? - and so on, for four and a half hours. He looked into her eyes admiringly all the time, warmed up dinner three times, poured wine. When she, in another fit of impotent rage, sprinkled her snow-white cheek with a tear bitter from resentment and anger, he hugged her and then did not let go all night.
She left him after a couple of months when she realized she was pregnant. A fat and good-natured gynecologist, taking off her gloves and smiling dreamily, said:
- You will have a child, probably a boy, dear, and a very pretty one!
- A child is not at all in my plans now. I need a referral for an abortion, and please hurry, I'm late for an important meeting.
- My dear, with your data, abortion excludes the possibility of pregnancy for you in the future. Therefore, you will not receive a certificate from me, especially since your pregnancy is developing perfectly, - the stern gynecologist stated peremptorily, from whom all good nature and rusticity flew off in an instant.
He was the best doctor in town. Best! And the Queen had to yield to competent opinion. The “best” were indisputable authority for her, besides, she already understood then that she needed an heir, and therefore the birth of our genius Chamomile was predetermined.
His father paid for the indefatigable joy he showed when he learned about the child. Although they would have parted anyway with a probability of two hundred percent, they were so different: “ice and fire”, no, “ice and stove”. "Flame" Romkin's father, of course, was not. But the stove - yes. Warm, lively, hospitable, soft, understanding everything. Neither give nor take - Russian stove.
It is clear that the Queen, who quickly mobilized and came to her senses after dizzying crashes, did not want to melt away. Moreover - she considered it dangerous, because the heat relaxes, leads to a loss of grip, rigidity, vigilance. And you can’t trust anyone, she always knew about that. And the next lesson presented to her by fate, she now learned well and was ready to retake it for five. Moreover, she was not used to getting deuces from childhood, since at one time she was mercilessly beaten by her own mother even for random fours, which completely disappeared from her diary by the fifth grade.
The queen mother did not often visit her son's warm and cozy home. For a while, she generally preferred to meet with Roman only in restaurants, where one dinner cost as much as five Valyushka's salaries, and Romashka choked on delicacies, thinking angrily: "It would be better if she gave me money." But she did not even think of giving him money. Never. Even when the granddaughters were sick and needed expensive medicines. As a result, our Snezhnaya, of course, got medicines, but not a penny of money. But for no reason at all, she could buy him an expensive suit or branded coat. But what is an expensive suit or coat, paired with cheap shirts, bad shoes, and a battered bag? Absurdity, grotesque. Although Roman so liked the feeling of these wonderful things. The fabrics caressed the body, the shapes and lines were impeccable - all this perfection was so attractive, but impossible ... because the shirt, shoes, bag ... Restaurant, suits, cars with drivers who took him to Butovo, literally hovering over the dirty Moscow highway - it was part of the royal plan. In her small, well-groomed hands, power was kept over the bowels of some kind of bank, or holding company. She had a huge world. And she liked to possess. Truly a Queen, nothing more, nothing less. Only one thing, apparently, escaped her fingers: she did not dispose of a controlling stake in the fate of her dear heir. At one time, she had made an unfortunate shortcoming, for which she was now paying.
Little Romashka often got sick in the ecologically unfavorable atmosphere of an industrial town in the middle lane, where at that time Snezhnaya stubbornly and prudently, like a real climber, climbed the party peaks. And therefore, although with little reluctance, she still regularly sent him to the most peasant woman in the village with the hunting name "Fox Holes" - to the mother of Romka's father.
Baba Masha for Romchik was a real angel. Somehow, as a child, he came across a picture that depicted chubby babies with wings.
– Why do they have wings? - Romka asked his cousin Kolka, who always keeps him company in all children's tricks.
- Because they are angels. Have you never heard of angels?
- Are they like that? The angels must be old, like Baba Masha, - Romka stared at his brother with distrust, and the distrust had a good reason: Kolka very often, with a very convincing look, rapturously lied.
Angels couldn't be like those obnoxiously plump babies with faces like they have a whole room of cotton candy in front of them, and that makes them a little embarrassed. Angels - they are wise, they save people from a wrong step, they are guardians. Romchik especially liked this word. Guardian angel. He protects you and also knows, probably, something very important, some kind of secret. His guardian angel, no doubt, was Baba Masha, only she seemed to him worthy of this great mission - to protect him, Romka, and be the keeper of great secrets. And let the babies be in the service of Kolka, he, the dunce, it doesn’t matter.
So, the keeper of secrets, the ever-busy woman Masha really loved Romchik in a special way, never confusing him with her other grandchildren, whom she, starting to call, went through all one by one: “Vovk, Sergunka, Mishk, fu you ... Kolya, you need to run to the store, come on, dear, quickly, dinner is in time for you, and you have already dragged all the bread in the morning!
For her, he was always "Daisy" and for some reason she wanted to protect him most of all from the whole world. After all, he is so impressionable, so smart, knows so much. And how he tells! I would listen and listen to him while the hands do the work. And her heart always ached when she looked at him: thin legs, arms like two twigs, huge eyes, and two dimples from her father on such thin cheeks. And most importantly, his mother is a cold woman, even harsh, like winter. It was often cold in the Fox Holes, they chilled the house - you couldn’t drown it. Here she is. Chamomile is afraid of her, she cries every time when it's time to return to the city, she cries so much ...
80 signs by which you recognize a narcissist!
Who is he, a narcissist?
If you think your boss, partner, or significant other has narcissistic or paranoid traits, this list will help confirm or refute your suspicions. It includes the main characteristics of narcissistic and paranoid personality disorder, which are manifested in the behavior and psychological state of a person.
After reading this article to the end, you will be able to quickly identify narcissists in your environment, and based on the list below, you will make the right decisions in dealing with them.
How to identify a narcissist?
So, an exhaustive list of hallmarks of narcissism. What kind of person is a narcissist really?
1. Feels an all-consuming sense of self-importance , not based on life experience or objective merit. He considers himself "the navel of the earth."
2. Has a grand vision of himself - who he is and what he thinks he can achieve. At the same time, the objective reality can be just the opposite.
3. I am confident in my calling to lead people , to lead the masses and to have unlimited power. At the same time, he does not take responsibility for those who are lower / weaker than him. Such a position only says that he only wants to get something for himself and considers this state of affairs to be the norm.
4. Expects and demands admiration loves to be flattered. May be offended when he believes that little time is devoted to his praise. At the same time, he behaves tactlessly, often criticizes the behavior of others and, due to this, tries to appear better against their background.
5. Guided by a sense of permissiveness. Believes that he should be treated differently than other people, considers himself special, demanding exclusive rights or priority over others. His affairs are always the most important and urgent, the problems the most difficult, the successes the most grandiose. A narcissist acts on the basis that his opinion is the only one - “correct”. He is not interested in what other people think about this, even if they are more experienced in solving such problems.
6. Exploits others for personal gain does not consider other people's opinions. Such a person is accustomed to constantly taking without giving anything in return. “Everyone owes him.”
7. Deprived of empathy , does not notice the needs and does not see the suffering of others. He is fixated on himself, his feelings, experiences, it does not occur to him to ask about the feelings of loved ones, to help in something, to listen.
8. Often envious of those around him and convinced that others envy him, treats the strong/senior with feigned respect, flatters, tries to curry favor, treats the weak/younger with contempt, rejoices at their failures, is rude and tries in every possible way to humiliate.
9. Arrogant and haughty in his behavior and attitude towards people. This is reflected in everything: facial expressions, postures, movements, speech. In his presence, others feel like second-class people. After talking with such a person, you want to immediately take a shower.
10. Considers his problems unique or much more serious than the difficulties others face. He thinks that others should help solve his problems and sincerely resents when this does not happen. He tends to inflate situations in which he finds himself to enormous proportions.
There is no one kinder than a narcissist as long as you live by his rules.
11. Considers himself a privileged person who is allowed to bend the rules and break the law. However, he does not allow others to do so. This only testifies to hypocrisy and inability to bear responsibility for their actions. They say about such people: “He will see a mote in someone else’s eye, but he won’t notice a log in his own.”
12. Very sensitive to how others perceive him , depends on other people's opinions. Strives to do everything to get a positive assessment from a significant environment or from those whom he considers more influential than himself. At the same time, he uses any means to achieve this goal.
13. Interaction with this person causes feelings of irritation , anxiety, anxiety and other negative emotions in others. People call them "energy vampires". From communication with such a person, the mood deteriorates, strength and joy of life disappear. He is able to twist any situation so that it will seem negative.
14. Overestimates himself and his abilities. Often unable to adequately assess the situation and what actions he should take in it. He takes on more than he can do, and when he fails, he blames everyone around.
15. Devalues others , considering them insignificant, inferior or unworthy. He does this most often so that the object of ridicule does not hear. Sincerity is unknown to such a person. He will never say directly to your face what he thinks, he will intrigue and set other people against you. This is what it means to be a narcissist.
Feathers stuck to your ass don't make you a chicken.
16. Does not show empathy and sympathy for other people. Nevertheless, he expects that he will be imbued with sympathy and support. In their absence, it can explode with a storm of negativity, accuse you of insensitivity, lack of conscience and other good qualities. Inclined to beg for attention and care.
17. Shows violence - physical or emotional. Tyrant. Most often he is two-faced: in society he puts on the mask of a decent person, and in private he shows his lowest qualities. He lacks self-worth, and therefore he tries to establish himself at the expense of weaker or dependent people in such a destructive way. He thinks about his capabilities much more than he actually is.
Destroying all prejudices, we regard everyone as zeros, and ourselves as ones
18. Emotions are difficult for him to understand . He seems aloof and aloof at times when sympathy is required. In fact, he is so traumatized inside that he moves away from someone else's pain, because he is very afraid to experience feelings or does not know how to do it at all. Recognizing someone else's pain, someone's need for comfort, empathy means for him to recognize the right of another to such feelings as fear, resentment, anger, fatigue, guilt and anger. He cannot do this, because he does not even allow himself to experience such feelings, and often does not even realize it.
19. Seeks to control others and demands absolute loyalty. Does not support such a position with responsibility. He is not confident in himself and cannot trust someone, so he constantly checks and controls.
20. Constantly violates other people's boundaries , neglecting privacy, privacy, other people's secrets and easily goes beyond socially permissible. A narcissist is characterized by a lack of tact and does not understand that he hurts other people's feelings. even when told directly about it.
21. Sees only his own goals and ignores the challenges others face. He does not want to accept someone else's workload and requires constant participation in his life. How to build a relationship with a narcissist in such a situation - if possible, do not pay attention to him.
22. Reacts violently even to minor offenses . It is easy to take such a person out of the comfort zone, he can take any word “with hostility”. And even if the situation is resolved successfully, he will retain negative feelings for the offender for a long time and try to take revenge using any convenient excuse.
23. Deprived of altruism . All his actions are dictated by selfish selfish motives, he rarely does anything for the sake of others.
24. Very sensitive , any criticism is taken as a personal attack. He thinks that others should consider him ideal and shows great discontent if he encounters a different opinion of himself.
25. Sees weakness in kindness , cannot empathize. May sneer at those who show cordiality towards others. On the one hand, he believes that everyone should treat him with participation, and on the other hand, he believes that those who show causeless kindness are selfish and certainly want to get something from him.
Half the evil in the world comes from people who want to feel important. They do not want to harm, but they do not really care about the harm they bring. They either ignore it or justify it because they are consumed by the endless struggle to feel good about themselves.
Often "suffers" in public, attracting everyone's attention. Strives to ensure that his deeds are noticed and certainly appreciated.
27. When criticized, reacts with fits of anger and uncontrollable rage. He reacts angrily, emotionally to any manifestation of even appropriate and justified criticism. Seeks to immediately denigrate the one who dared to speak unflatteringly about his qualities or actions. Unable to restrain himself and does not even consider it necessary to behave within the bounds of decency in such situations. In this case, it is better to end the relationship with a narcissist man.
28. Acts without looking back at others , and not wanting to consider what others think, plan, and what worries them. He puts his plans and goals at the forefront and is not ready to reckon even with the opinion of close people.
29. Devalues the people who work for him, without taking into account their feelings, devotion and even the sacrifices they make. Takes everything for granted. On the contrary, when someone does not show excessive enthusiasm, he considers such a person a lazy person, not worthy of being part of his team.
30. Not interested in learning more about other people . Someone else's life does not interest him. He likes to talk only about himself, any conversation reduces to his exploits and achievements. A narcissistic person is ready to discuss his victories for hours. The success of other people often causes him negative feelings.
Narcissism is voluntary blindness, a promise not to look deep.
He can be affectionate and sympathetic when he needs something from you, but once the desired is achieved, he immediately pulls away and pretends that you are so insignificant that it makes no sense to waste his time communicating with you.
32. Boasts inappropriately and often extols his achievements and hides his failures. He strives to make as many people as possible aware of his successes. He often talks about his grandiose plans, the vast majority of which will never come true.
33. Doesn't feel guilty about what he did wrong . Never apologizes and does not feel remorse and regret. A narcissist is ready to blame others for the failure, just not to admit his mistakes.
34. Considers enemies who disagree with him never changes his opinion, even if it is obviously wrong. Wrangler. He will prove his case, even without any arguments, will be emotional and annoyed until the opponent agrees with his opinion or retreats in order to maintain his mental balance.
35. Any means are good for him . Uses deceit, fraud, intrigue, violence to achieve his goals. Ready for anything to get what you want. The motto of such a person is: “The method is not important, the result is important.” And if someone accidentally finds himself under the rink of his exorbitant ambitions, he will not pay attention to the “petty troubles” of others. It's their own fault for being in this situation.
36. Collects and cherishes his grievances , never forgets them. He maintains a “black list” of his offenders and, if possible, tries to take revenge on them. He can plot revenge for years and takes pleasure when he manages to harm his “enemy”.
37. Often cruel , inflexible, insensitive. Only personal experiences matter to him. What happens to everyone else, whether human or animal, does not concern him. He will pass by any foreign trouble. And if he is stung by a desire to help, then the narcissist will quickly reassure himself that there are other people for this.
38. Constantly tries to control what others do or think . He believes that everyone should do what is convenient for him. Otherwise, he makes a scandal, sorts things out, puts pressure on the psyche so that other people are often forced to give in to him.
Self-love always crawls out like a snake to sting.
He can pose as a loving, caring, welcoming person. If you have not yet brought him to clean water, take a closer look, does he want to get something in return?
40. Unable to show concern , gratitude and kindness. Doesn't know what dishonesty is. He does not care what happens in the lives of even those closest to him. Shows interest only when he feels that he can get some benefit.
41. He lacks tenderness and passion . He is not soft and relaxed. It seems that he is constantly on edge, as if something threatens him. Suspects a catch in the good intentions of other people. It is impossible to have frank conversations with him, he never “opens” his heart. Also, he is not able to accept the emotions of loved ones.
42. Insults others to feel superior , dominating or controlling. At the same time, he does not feel guilty for this, because he believes that he has the right to do so. He always underestimates the achievements of other people, tries to exalt himself at the expense of “denigrating” others.
43. Is indignant when others do not show absolute loyalty to or publicly disagree with him. He thinks that all people should consider him the main one, be guided by his considerations. If this does not happen, he quickly loses his temper.
44. Shows snobbery, contempt, arrogance, or a patronizing/condescending attitude. He does not respect anyone, while sometimes he can take responsibility for a person, but this responsibility is apparent, because a narcissist is trying to exalt himself in this way, to amuse his ego. Should a person say or do something against his will, he immediately becomes an enemy for a narcissist.
45. Unwilling to admit his mistakes , misconduct or bad ideas. He blames circumstances or other people for all his mistakes.
46. Convinced that others are always looking for ways to use or harm . Does not trust the world and people. It is very difficult for him to be involved in any project or idea, as he is constantly waiting for a stab in the back and always keeps himself ready.
47. Sees nothing wrong with lying . Cheating is a way of life for him. If, with the help of deceit, he manages to exalt himself in the eyes of others, this is success for him. At the same time, if someone deceives him, then the narcissist will vilify and criticize such a person for a long time.
48. Holds grudges for a long time . He does not forget or forgive anything, even after many years. A narcissist is always looking for a way to annoy those who once did not please him.
49. Habitually questions the intentions of other people and shows distrust of everyone: spouse, friends, relatives and colleagues at work.
He was like a rooster, sure that the sun rises specifically to listen to his morning cries.
50. Gets angry quickly . They say about such that it “starts up with a half turn”. Any little thing can piss him off. He wants everything to be perfect, if something or someone violates his ideal picture of the world, he begins to get angry.
51. Often jealous for no reason or for very minor reasons, considers close people his property. Rarely does something for loved ones just like that, because he believes that everyone should serve only him.
52. tries to be cautious, secretive, insidious and skillfully weaves intrigues. I am convinced that everyone around him is the same. He does not see kindness and mercy in people.
53. reluctantly agrees with someone else's point of view or rejects it out of hand. Can appropriate the merits of other people, expose their views for their own.
54. Considers himself a victim of - fate, injustice, government, family, colleagues, worldwide conspiracy. Constantly blaming others. He does not know how to relax, he always looks for the guilty in everything. This is also why the personal life of a narcissist often does not add up.
55. Does not hesitate to publicly insult, humiliate others or participate in hostile showdowns. He cares about everything, his mind “clings” even to something that does not concern him at all.
56. Unable to truly relax while remaining alert. Almost always serious, never smiling, rarely joking. Does not enjoy life, does not notice the beauty of the world.
57. Constantly looking for signs that others are plotting against him. Heart-to-heart talk is not about him.
58. Claims that all failures at work or in relationships are the fault of others in the s – he is never to blame for anything. He cannot look at his behavior from the outside and objectively assess the situation. A narcissist collects an ideal image of himself in his head, if due to external circumstances this image is violated, others are to blame, but not he.
59. Believes that he accurately describes facts or events , although his perception is usually erroneous, exaggerated, distorted and biased. He does not have time to engage in self-development, to engage in himself and become an expert in any field, instead he prefers to criticize everyone in a row, build a smart guy out of himself.
Narcissists can't learn from their mistakes because they can't even take the first step of admitting they're wrong.
60. His thinking is hard and rigid and when his beliefs are challenged, he becomes unforgiving and combative. He cannot look at the situation as a whole, he sees only its individual parts, so it is difficult for him to find a way out of difficult situations. As a consequence, a narcissist can easily become depressed or addicted to alcohol or drugs.
61. He has doubts about the loyalty of those around him. In everything he sees a double bottom.
62. exaggerates his importance and is convinced of his own infallibility. Completely devoid of a sense of humility and self-reflection. His calling card is his head held high and the commanding tone of communication. Although in fact he is very unhappy and lonely.
63. Sometimes he experiences an overwhelming feeling of an impending catastrophe , general death, or fears that an unforeseen blow of fate is about to overtake him.
64. Thinks the world is a place where you always have to be on your guard because everyone around you lies and manipulates. He also often experiences a feeling of anxiety, because he always expects trouble. He is closed to new beginnings, as he is afraid that they will turn into unsolvable situations for him.
65. Being stuck on some thought or idea, cannot switch to anything else. He thinks that he knows everything, although in fact, he is fixated on his own thoughts, therefore he is not capable of development.
66. Claims that only he sees the danger threatening everyone, believing that he is surrounded by enemies and ill-wishers.
67. Too demanding and pedantic . Believes that everything should be perfect. At the same time, the narcissist himself will rarely fulfill the requirements that he makes of others.
68. Incapable of flexible multilateral thinking and stubbornly refuses to acknowledge the facts. For him, what he invented for himself is the truth, who encroaches on it is the enemy.
69. Rarely romantic devoid of tenderness and sympathy. Not capable of great stupidity. The narcissist never goes beyond his judgment.
70. Does not trust "strangers" - people of a different religion, nationality, social status. He judges a person only by appearance, divides people according to these signs into friends and foes.
71. Often stubborn and hostile. He thinks he knows everything.
72. Surrounds himself with people who think the same as he does. In dealing with them, he feels relatively safe, because no one encroaches on his ideals.
73. He likes to keep those around him in fear , making him fear for his life and well-being. That's the only way he can feel safe. As soon as something gets out of his control, he immediately shows hostility
74. Praises himself at the expense of devaluing others. Constantly criticizes successful people, says that he himself would have done much better.
75. Propaganda is more important and useful to him than the truth . A narcissist deceives people by looking straight into their eyes.
76. Uses and allows others to use violence to suppress dissent.
77. Constantly in search of the enemy in order to focus on him and accuse him of all sins.
78. He believes that a conspiracy is brewing in his environment and there are always people who want to harm him. Therefore, building a relationship with a narcissist is more expensive for yourself.
79. Recognizes, almost instinctively, that hatred is useful because it brings people together. Doesn't believe in fairy tales.
80. Truth and facts are what he wholeheartedly rejects . Falsity and hypocrisy for him is not an accident, but a way of life.
Give 1 point for each statement that you think is true. If you scored 60 or more points, it is very likely that you are faced with a person who is distrustful and rigid, who exalts himself and devalues others. It's a toxic combination. Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler scored very high on this scale.
How to live with a narcissist?
What if you work under or live with a narcissistic boss? It is useless to appeal to his mind or feelings. People with narcissistic and paranoid traits are not introspective. They consider themselves to be flawless. Although they need help, they never seek it and will not be grateful to you for pointing it out to them. Living with a narcissist is simply unbearable.
You are in danger - it is up to you to decide whether to adapt, tolerate or distance yourself from the narcissist in order not to become a victim of him - emotionally, psychologically or physically. Interaction with narcissists is exhausting and debilitating. You did not come into this world to be the plaything of an abuser or a manipulator. They will continue to use and humiliate you. They will never treat you as an equal or think about your well being.
Of course, after a relationship with a narcissist, it will be difficult to readjust, the result will pay off the effort, you'll see!