More of an introvert

What Is An Introvert? The 4 Types, Commons Signs & More

Psychiatrist Carl Jung developed the concepts of introversion and extroversion in the early 1900s.

According to him, one of the easiest ways to spot an introvert is by the way they recharge their social battery.

Introverts, he said, prefer to be in minimally stimulating environments and tend to go inward to recharge, while extroverts are re-energized from interacting with others.

Introverts also tend to have a low social desire and often withdraw from social activity.

Many researchers have since tried to clarify the definition of introversion.

In 2011, research by psychologists Jennifer Grimes, Jonathan Cheek, and Julie Norem broke introversion into four main types: social introvert, thinking introvert, anxious introvert, and restrained introvert.

Summary

An introvert is an individual who prefers to be in less stimulating environments and needs to be alone to recharge.

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Social introvert

Social introverts value solitude more than most people. They like being alone but aren't opposed to the occasional gathering of close friends and family.

"Social introverts are less interested in large gatherings or parties," Anthony Freire, LMHC, NCC, CCMHC, a licensed psychotherapist and the clinical director of The Soho Center for Mental Health Counseling in New York, tells mbg.

He also notes that it's easy to confuse a social introvert with someone who's dealing with social anxiety, but it's not the same thing: "A social introvert doesn't avoid crowds because of anxiety but rather [because of] their preference. Where they feel the most comfortable and happy is either in complete solitude or in small groups in more subdued places."

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Common signs of a social introvert:

Prefer tiny intimate gatherings
Will happily go on a solo date or vacation
Require alone time to recharge, especially in a relationship
Will accept social invitations with no intention to show up

Dating as a social introvert

When it comes to dating, social introverts will do well with both online dating and in-person dating. And because they do well in small groups, they can even try speed dating.

"Because introverts are very analytical, a social introvert should follow their intuition when they meet someone. They should focus on going to places they enjoy and skip the small talk," therapist Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali, LMFT, tells mbg.

RELATED: 5 Telltale Introvert Characteristics & Traits, From Psychology Experts

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Thinking introvert

"The thinking introvert is very cognitive by nature. Often intellectual, this type of introvert is often at peace when studying, reading, learning, researching, and investigating," clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, Ph.D., explained.

The thinking introvert will often pause to cogitate before offering a response to a question. "Let me think about that" can be a very common response for the thinking-type introvert.

Manly says introverts of this type are prone to getting lost in their thoughts and may actually mentally "disappear" from conversations due to a retreat into the mental world.

Laurie Helgoe, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and author of Introvert Power, also notes that thinking introverts are sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they're such good listeners: "People may mistake the receptive attitude of these introverts as an invitation to talk more, when their silence may, in fact, be a pause to think," she says.

Common signs of a thinking introvert:

More introspective than the average introvert
Will lean toward activities that provide a "mental haven" for thinking: studying, reading, researching, musical pursuits, or other creative activities
Generally not reactive and will often pause to think before offering a response to a question
Super self-aware

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Dating as a thinking introvert

When it comes to close relationships, Helgoe says, "It can be helpful for thinking introverts to 'narrate their introversion' by asking for time to think in response to a question, for example, or by being upfront about requiring alone time to refuel. Without making this known, others (especially extroverts) may misinterpret their silence or take it personally when the introvert takes time out from socializing."

Anxious introvert

The anxious introvert is often quiet and may appear on edge or nervous, says Manly.

This type of introvert shrinks away from people and settings that may further stimulate anxiety.

The "anxious" introvert can be highly avoidant and even seem rude, yet the "turning inward" behavior is simply a protective, sheltering defense mechanism at work.

You'll likely find anxious introverts at home because of nervousness or fear, usually catastrophizing events before they happen, which ultimately prevents them from stepping out of their comfort zones.

Common signs of an anxious introvert:

Typically appear at least mildly nervous in most situations
May appear highly avoidant and rude
Will avoid social interactions at all costs

Dating as an anxious introvert

When it comes to dating, anxious introverts probably won't do well with speed dating and other social dating events, Osibodu-Onyali says.

But dating as an anxious introvert isn't impossible: They tend to do well-being introduced by close friends or even with dating a close friend.

"When it's time to go out on dates, they should stick to what makes them comfortable," she recommends. "Pick dates that focus on you and your partner, make it enjoyable, and don't push yourself too far outside of your comfort zone."

Restrained introvert

The restrained introvert, also called the inhibited introvert, tends to be more reserved and can have their guards up around others until they get to know them.

But rather than seeming shy or avoidant, they simply come off as thoughtful and grounded.

"The restrained introvert tends to be reflective and even plodding in nature. Often unemotional, this type of introvert is often very controlled and may have very grounded energy," Manly says. "This type of introvert is often steadfast and very rock-like in nature. The restrained-type introvert is often the quiet, dutiful person that others tend to rely on."

Common signs of a restrained introvert:

Move at a slower, more methodical pace in all things
Tend to enjoy predictable activities
Often unemotional

Dating as a restrained introvert

When it comes to relationships, a restrained introvert will be on the more reserved side while getting to know a potential love interest.

Manly says the restrained introvert will likely keep personal information close to their chest until they're more comfortable in the relationship, which may take longer than usual because of the sluggish approach.

"The restrained introvert is likely to thrive in the realms of stability, thoughtfulness, and self-reflection," she says. "Although it may sound as if a person with this nature is boring, a restrained introvert can be extremely fun-loving and passionate."

If you find yourself wondering whether you’re an introvert or you have social anxiety, you’ve come to the right place.

Introverts prefer to be in minimally stimulating environments and recharge best on their own or in select company.

Social anxiety is a fear of social situations because we believe we aren't competent enough and that everyone is evaluating all the minutiae of our performance.

So we avoid these situations, leading us to feel more helpless about our social skills.

Mental Health America states that introversion is related to social energy, while social anxiety is a mental health condition related to fear of social interactions.

Summary

Introversion is related to social energy, while social anxiety is a mental health condition related to fear of social interactions.

If you're wondering what kind of introvert you are, take a moment to see how many of the above bulleted points apply to you.

The type with the most bullet points you resonate with is likely the type that you are.

If you find yourself always needing to step away from the group chat to think about (or overthink) your next response, you could be a thinking introvert.

Is your most relaxed state filled with lingering anxiety and nervous energy? You could be more of an anxious introvert.

Summary

If you're wondering what kind of introvert you are, take a moment to see how many of the above-bulleted points apply to you.

How I Get Out More as an Introvert — And How You Can, Too

Getting out in nature is an easy way for introverts to get out more, yet still have solitude.

As introverts, we get comfortable in our routines and rituals, comfortable with being alone, and comfortable amidst solitude. Sometimes we don’t realize we’ve gotten too comfortable until the need for companionship and connectivity, seemingly out of nowhere, sneaks up on us.

Social connections and engagement with the world are good for our mental health. So how can we comfortably cultivate them while also honoring our introverted tendencies? The first step is to get out of the house.

Here are some actionable items that I’ve personally found helpful. All of these activities puncture inertia without being too much of a dive into the deep end of the icy pool. The key is, while they may be a bit out of our comfort zones, they are all doable and not too unrealistic.

1. Talk to a new person, like someone in line at the grocery store.

Many of us introverts tend to have a hard time with small talk, or we just don’t enjoy it that much.

We thrive off deep interaction and meaningful conversation. And yet there’s a place for small talk. Soul-feeding exchanges about why we’re all here can fulfill us, but what I’ve also realized is that the simpler, seemingly insignificant exchanges can be just as powerful. I’ve learned that simple isn’t a synonym for superficial. To that point, a study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology found that connecting with others does increase happiness.

Additionally, a lot of these conversations — even if they start off in the form of small talk — can deepen in less time than you would think. As a former Lyft driver, I talked to all kinds of people. Often, my Toyota Corolla felt like it was “therapy on wheels” for one-time clients. I parted ways with some passengers knowing more about them than I do about some of the people I now see at my day job on a regular basis.

Suffice it to say, one-on-one interactions are also a good way for introverts to get their social needs met without feeling overstimulated. In case you are not a Lyft driver, other ways I have found to meet this need are casually striking up conversation with a person in line for something (“Have you tried their bear claw pastry?”). The other day, a woman in the same aisle at CVS started talking to me about the greeting card selection, so that was good for me, too. Still other times, you witness an adorable or fascinating sight, and this can automatically bring you and another person together. When I was hiking the other day, for instance, a quail poked her head out of a bush, stopping both me and a male hiker in our tracks (and facilitating conversation).

2. Go to a café (or other public communal space) just to be around the social energy.

Toward the beginning of the pandemic, I deeply enjoyed my solitude. It was a relief to not feel beholden to social obligations. Yet as time went on, I also began experiencing an itch familiar to any extrovert who’s ever walked this planet. I recall a scene from the lobby of a pharmacy 11 months into the pandemic, when the world was slowly beginning to reopen after almost a year of isolation.

The bespectacled, middle-aged man to my left listened to Persian music on his phone while an emotional support beagle napped at its owner’s feet a chair away from them. Six feet apart from each other, everyone (aside from the beagle) was masked. Some of the masks were stylish: black with gold, rainbow patterns (I see you, LGBTQ ally!), and strawberries shining in the sunlight.

All these signs of life energized me. They made for the closest to a café experience — wherein each person channeled their energy into their own endeavors, seated individually but surrounded by the company of many — that I’d had in months. And I realized I’d missed it. Starbucks founder Howard Schultz’s vision for the café was of a “third space” somewhere between work and home, where one can relax without the worries associated with either. Introverts can get a comfortable dose of social energy in these settings, without the overwhelm of social obligation.

3. Engage in tactile experiences.

Growing up, I enjoyed taking trips to the local arcade. I had no trouble whiling away hours at home making Sims’ video game characters fall in love with each other or designing what I hoped would be the longest roller coaster of all time in Roller Coaster Tycoon. Yet there was something about the multi-sensory experience of arcade attractions that games contained to a mere computer screen just couldn’t replicate. Summer camp as a kid was also a great way to engage in tactile experiences, and it’s something I wish more kids had access to.

Many introverts are prone to daydreaming and disappearing into our imaginations. This can be a wonderful experience, but balance is key. To combat staying locked inside our heads, we can turn toward the tactile: Climb rocks when you go on hikes. Do yoga barefoot on the beach so you can feel the texture of the sand against your skin. Consider archery, hammer throwing, or crocheting — there are so many possibilities.

4. Get up close and personal with nature.

Nature is a gentle arena through which introverts can leave their cocoon while not feeling overstimulated. We can find ways to turn the planet into our own personal workout space (in a way that is respectful to Her and leaves things as we’ve found them). For instance, I’ve done sit-ups against smooth stones out in the quiet desert landscape of Palm Springs. I’ve run barefoot on beaches, the breeze cool against my skin and the undisturbed sand pristine beneath my feet. The fresh green grass at many parks has beckoned me into yoga poses, stretches, and ab circuits.

Outdoor workouts facilitate a more meditative, “get back in touch with yourself” experience. Fallen trees make great benches for sit-ups. Sand offers optimal resistance for glute toning (plus, a barefoot beach run is to working out in the gym as a cozy hard copy of a book is to a Kindle). Rivers await swimmers and rocks beckon climbers. I love the full-body exertion you get from both these activities — how every muscle, from your abs to your legs to little muscles in your arms you didn’t even know you had, suddenly come alive.

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5. Reconnect with your inner child.

In her book Below the Edge of Darkness, Edith Widder, Ph.D., wrote: “The happiest people I know are those who have managed to hang on to a childish sense of wonder at discovering new things. But hanging on is not always easy. Too often, the world is served up a collection of facts to be learned, rather than grand mysteries to be solved.”

My LyftTales blog contains illustrations that look like a child drew them. I didn’t recruit a seven-year-old, though; they were done by yours truly. I draw them because they’re cathartic and help me to not take myself too seriously. They also reconnect me with my playful side that doesn’t always have the opportunity to emerge during the day’s more routine drudgery. They replace my rigid, linear thinking, making me more receptive to creative ideas and alternative ways of seeing.

Play. Sing. Color. Do things you may even be bad at but that bring you joy. Or spend time with actual kids to reconnect with your inner child. I did this with my little cousin one sunny day last year. We “flower-smelled” in my aunt’s backyard, which felt like wine-tasting, but for our noses (and more innocent and pure).

As psychiatrist Stuart Brown wrote: “A lack of play should be treated like malnutrition. It’s a health risk to your body and mind.”

6. Take a trip on your own.

One thing I love about solo travel is how the absence of other people allows you to pay closer attention to small details. Details like how one cocktail consisted of ingredients like crushed avocado, pineapple juice, and mezcal; how the wooden furniture outside a cafe in South Lake Tahoe blended seamlessly with the surrounding trees, while a stone’s throw away, the vast lake — impossibly, paradisiacally blue — shimmered beneath the sun; the red poncho of a pit bull puppy watching his owner perform at an open mic night in Asheville, North Carolina; and I could go on and on…

On road trips, moving and changing locations can meet a need for people with introverted tendencies. It provides us with stimulation while not being overstimulating, as we’re also granted the comfort and insulation of our car.

7. Read something you never would have considered.

“Getting out more” also includes getting out of our heads, where we introverts often live. Pre-COVID-19, at Barnes & Noble, I’d gather a tall stack of reading materials and transport them to the cozy chair by the Starbucks fireplace. After ordering my coffee, I’d then pore through them while trying to soak in as much as I could. The magazines, with topics spanning from bird-watching to mountaineering to geology, were ones I wouldn’t ordinarily purchase. But my brain delighted in unexpected knowledge when consuming them.

Imagine if we pushed past confirmation bias in other realms of our daily worlds. What if we engaged with people we didn’t immediately like, who may turn out to house some hidden treasures? What if we prodded deeper into an argument or belief when our knee-jerk reaction is to reject it?

For the purpose of this specific tip, though: Reading gives us this exposure in a way that’s safe and contained for introverts. We’re stepping out of our comfort zone mentally while remaining cocooned physically. All of this helps in the process of incorporating new beliefs into our current repertoires.

Introverts, what would you add to the list? I’d love to hear in the comments below!

introvert, extrovert or ambivert?

At university I was friends with two sociable girls. They didn't look alike, but they had something in common. As it seemed to me then, they were united by pronounced extraversion. As soon as they quietly stood at the wall in anticipation of a couple, a booming company immediately gathered around. In the first year, when no one else really knew anyone, their names were remembered first. Gather those wishing to speak at the bottom of the faculty or go to a strip club? Of course they are! How surprised I was when both girls recently independently announced, "I think I'm an introvert." If they consider themselves introverts, then who is everyone else?

ARE HORMONES TO BE THAT TOGETHER?

At the everyday level, there is complete confusion in understanding the terms "extrovert" and "introvert". We used to associate the first with sociability, and the second with a craving for solitude, as if that explains everything. While the issue is so controversial that there is no consensus even among psychologists. The first scale of extra- and introversion in the dictionary of psychological terms was introduced by Carl Gustav Jung. According to Jung, an extrovert is introduced into the outside world by all means, without giving in to the experience of reflection, and an introvert defends himself from the outside, relying only on his inner feelings. An extrovert pays attention to events, accumulates facts and acquaintances, chooses a profession that is guaranteed to bring him income in the near future. An introvert is focused on his reactions to the outside world. Facts are interesting to introverts not in themselves, but as a basis for the formation of judgments, therefore, outstanding inventors, scientists, and writers are obtained from introverts. If you ask an extrovert what the weather is today, he will actually answer: “Snowy, minus five.” An introvert will answer the same question subjectively: "I'm cold." According to Jung, it is the focus on the external or internal world that distinguishes an extrovert from an introvert. Note that this has nothing to do with sociability or a desire for solitude.

RIGHT IN THE CENTER

The game of “guess who is who at this party” is my friend Oleg's favorite pastime. He begins to closely observe newcomers to the company in order to make an authoritative verdict on their personality type in ten minutes. At the same time, Oleg stubbornly refuses to take into account the fact that most mentally healthy people are ambiverts.

The term "ambivert" was first proposed by Eysenck in 1947, referring to people who combine the hypersensitivity of introverts and the expansive sociability of extroverts. Twenty years earlier, in one of his lectures on extroverts and introverts, Jung noted: “There is, finally, a third group where it is very difficult to say where motivation comes from: from outside or from inside. This group is the most numerous. The psychologist emphasized that our conscious extraverted or introverted attitudes are always compensated by opposite unconscious ones. Therefore, the behavior of a shy person easily changes when he drinks. The conscious introverted attitude recedes and extraversion appears. As long as they work together, the person is balanced and harmonious. When they collide, neurosis begins. If we think of intro- and extraversion as a horizontal scale, most of us will be in its middle (ambivert) values. We can shift in one direction or another in extreme situations, but in ordinary life we are close to the center and react to the world alternately - either as introverts or as extroverts.

INTROVERT TIME

So, thanks to the fathers of psychology for the great news: most of us are capable of anything! Listen carefully and speak contagiously, enjoy noisy companies and solitude, be interested in the facts of the outside world and pass them through yourself, creating something new. But the question remains: why then did so many of my sociable acquaintances abruptly begin to call themselves introverts? I found three explanations for this phenomenon. First, introversion is in vogue today. Some hundred years ago, extraversive thinking was considered fashionable and “correct” in European culture. This is not surprising - at the beginning of the last century, an encyclopedic mind was highly valued, capable of memorizing a large number of facts without giving in to their personal assessment. The same Jung, describing the features of an introvert, seems to justify him in front of an invisible extrovert - a typical representative of his generation.

FROM SIDE TO SIDE

In fact, the desire to sit in silence and solitude after a busy day is not a typical behavior of an introvert, but an ambivert. He is like a skier who balances on the slope, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. The trick is to be able to switch at will. Due to the fact that ambiverts do not know how to “transfer weight” from the extraverted side in time, they get carried away and they seriously begin to consider themselves one hundred percent introverts. Something similar happened to my college girlfriends, who got so tired of the role of throwing parties that they wanted to hide in a recreational shell. The key to the trick is to study your reactions. Over time, you will learn to catch alarm bells even before they turn into a siren. Is the party no longer fun? The last glass - and home! Without guilt and embarrassment for their lack of communication skills. Without letting the energy evaporate, the next day you will be able to communicate with more people with pleasure again. The rule also works the other way: are you already watching the sixth episode of Friends in a day without sticking your nose out from under the covers? Turn around. Your sociable friends will certainly be delighted with an invitation for coffee or a glass of wine.

Tags: introvert, psychology, extrovert

Test: introvert, extrovert or ambivert?

Why are some people sociable and active, while others prefer to withdraw into themselves? Why is the difference between some so strong that it is very difficult for them to understand each other? Due to different focus and perception. For some, they are directed to the outside world, for others, to their own experiences. Do you want to determine whether you are an ambivert, introvert or extrovert? The test will help you find out and learn a little more about yourself.

1. Do you tend to have long phone conversations (personal, non-work related)?

Yes.

No.

2. You are better at work that requires:

Attentiveness, thoughtfulness, perseverance.

Frequent movement, making quick decisions.

3. Which of these problems related to the management and distribution of finances seems closer to you?

I save more often, sometimes I'm stingy, afraid to make a rash purchase.

I suffer from spending money, more often I throw away money on unnecessary things.

4. What do you value most in people?

Activity, sense of humor.

Lack of obsession, tolerance.

5. Does it often happen to you that you think so deeply about something that you hardly notice anything around you?

Yes.

No.

6. Are you often told that you are terribly stubborn and very difficult to convince of anything?

Yes.

No.

7. Do people around you misinterpret your emotions (called sad or angry when you are just focused, for example)?

Yes.

No.

8. You are more often told that you act like you are:

More years than you really are.

Less years than it really is.

9. Why do you think your loved ones appreciate you?

For the ability to cheer up, dispel anxieties.

For understanding, deep sympathy.

10. Do you prefer to think about your steps, plan them clearly and in detail before proceeding directly to action?

Yes.

No.

11. Do you often try to see your actions from the outside, understand their motives, predict the results?

Yes.

No.

12. Do you prefer music to which you can:

Dance, putting aside all thoughts.

Lose yourself in thoughts, images and/or emotions.

13. For advice and information, you would rather contact:

Friends, professionals in a particular field.

Books, informational articles on the Internet.

14. Do you like frequent change of occupations, multitasking and fast pace of solving cases?

Yes.

No.

15. You would rather prefer a job that offers:

A good salary and a prestigious position, but a disgusting team and an inadequate boss.

Warm relations with colleagues, fair bosses, but the average level of salary without much prospects for growth.

16. Being tired after an emotionally charged day, would you rather stay at home than go to a concert of a famous star with your friends?

Yes.

Learn more

More of an introvert

What Is An Introvert? The 4 Types, Commons Signs & More

Summary

Advertisement

Social introvert

Advertisement

Common signs of a social introvert:

Dating as a social introvert

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Thinking introvert

Common signs of a thinking introvert:

Advertisement

Dating as a thinking introvert

Anxious introvert

Common signs of an anxious introvert:

Dating as an anxious introvert

Restrained introvert

Common signs of a restrained introvert:

Dating as a restrained introvert

Summary

Summary

How I Get Out More as an Introvert — And How You Can, Too

Getting out in nature is an easy way for introverts to get out more, yet still have solitude.

1. Talk to a new person, like someone in line at the grocery store.

2. Go to a café (or other public communal space) just to be around the social energy.

3. Engage in tactile experiences.

4. Get up close and personal with nature.

5. Reconnect with your inner child.

6. Take a trip on your own.

7. Read something you never would have considered.

You might like:

introvert, extrovert or ambivert?

ARE HORMONES TO BE THAT TOGETHER?

RIGHT IN THE CENTER

INTROVERT TIME

FROM SIDE TO SIDE

Test: introvert, extrovert or ambivert?