Make long distance work
Therapists Share How to Make Long Distance Relationships Work
After endless searching, you finally found someone worth holding onto. And you’re really happy together. But through certain circumstances, you find yourself separated from the one you love by miles and miles of distance.
No matter how much you love each other, there’s probably a part of you that wonders how or if your relationship will survive the long distance between you.
Long distance relationships can be made easier with the right support, try Lasting:
First of all, be comforted in knowing that long distance relationships can absolutely succeed. In fact, most couples find themselves geographically separated at some point during their dating or marriage relationship.
Many couples even point to a season of long distance as the cornerstone of a stronger relationship.
With that in mind, our team of relationship experts at Lasting have compiled a list of their very best tips for maintaining, surviving, and even thriving in a long distance relationship or long distance marriage.
We hope it’s just a matter of time until you and the one you love are side by side again. But in the meantime, here are some therapist-approved recommendations to strengthen your emotional connection, ease the ache of geographic separation, and help your relationship go the distance.
We are living at a time when we have unprecedented round-the-clock access to one another. For those in a long-distance relationship, devoting extensive free time to catching up can be a tremendous gift—so long as you’re both on the same page about it.
Some couples want to feel connected every hour. Some find it tedious to talk every day. Discuss with each other what works for the general frequency and length of time you will spend texting, talking, or video chatting in a day or week. And be open to modifying your communication tendencies as life creates new and unexpected demands.
Decades of research indicate the most satisfied relationships are those in which each partner successfully responds to the other’s emotional calls. Emotional calls are the thousands of tiny attempts to connect with each other. It’s one of the concepts explained in depth in the marriage health session of Lasting, the leading relationship health app.
At the core of every emotional call, you’re really asking each other one question:
“Will you be there for me?”
Responding to each other’s emotional calls can seem tricky within a long distance relationship. You can’t physically show up for each other’s milestone days or reassure someone with a hug. But that doesn’t make this crucial element of relationship success any less important.
Instead, long-distance couples may need to be more intentional about responding to each other’s attempts to connect. If you’ve scheduled a time to talk with your partner, make that call a priority, just as you would any work meeting or doctor’s appointment. If your partner has an important day, call or text preemptively to find out how it went. By weaving your partner’s needs into your day, you’ll demonstrate that you’re there for them, no matter how far apart you might be.
Relationships can be hard, but Lasting is here to help. Get started with a free week:
Doubts, insecurities, and jealousy can run high in long distance relationships simply because you’re spending so much time away from each other. This is why therapists at Lasting recommend using frequent verbal assurances with one another. They help minimize these negative feelings and clarify where you stand as a couple.
The next time you talk, tell your partner how much you love and appreciate your relationship. And if you’re feeling uncertain about where you stand, don’t be afraid to ask for reassurance for yourself. “I love you and wish we could be together today,” is as wonderful to say as it is to hear.
Whether you’re together or far apart, you and your partner will continue to grow and change as life moves forward. That is both normal and a good thing—even if it forces your relationship to change some in the process.
According to Lasting’s therapists, long distance couples who have a secure attachment together are able to let each other grow and mature. They find ways to stay connected and push each other forward. In a secure attachment relationship, personal growth and change is healthy. It’s a product of security and safety in the relationship.
One of the best things you can do to promote a secure attachment is supporting your partner as they grow in their individual strengths and interests. While it might be frustrating if her new volleyball practice cuts into your nightly catch-up time, it’s important to encourage her to do what she loves—just as she should for you.
Research shows that interdependent relationships are proven to be the healthiest form of relationships for marriage. What does that mean? That means you and your partner do things in sync together while maintaining your own separate identities as individuals. Chances are your long-distance circumstances are forcing you do to more things independently than you would probably like, which is why it’s really important to identify a few activities you can do remotely but together.
According to marriage therapist Liz Colizza, having shared experiences with your long-distance partner increases the cohesion of your relationship. “Finding things you can do together as a couple pays off big time in helping you feel more connected. That’s a huge win when it feels like the distance is pulling you in two different directions.”
Whether it’s using Lasting, reading the same book, streaming the same show while talking on the phone, playing games online, listening to the same playlist, or even eating at the same chain restaurant on the same night—all of these can help you and your partner feel more interdependent and, ultimately, more connected.
p.s. Did you know? 94% of couples report new strengths when using the Lasting app together.
Whether you’re living under the same roof or oceans apart, all couples need to learn healthy ways to talk about and resolve conflicts. Bigger problems can arise if you ignore little struggles or are unwilling to address sensitive topics.
One military spouse experienced this when she and her husband were dating long distance. “I never felt comfortable bringing up tricky issues over the phone. But when I went to visit him, I didn’t want to ruin our time together by starting an argument. It created this vicious cycle where I felt I could never share what was bothering me. I would eventually blow up and break up with him. It was so unfair though, because he had no idea anything was even wrong.”
If you’re struggling to bring up difficult topics, using the Lasting app together can help ease you in to those conversations. You can also get more personalized support with a therapist through Talkspace.
Learning how to talk about difficult topics takes time and effort, but it’s essential to the health of your long-distance relationship to not let small problems balloon into bigger ones.
Being separated from the person you’re madly in love with can hardly seem like a positive thing. But where you can’t immediately change your circumstances, you can immediately change your attitude.
One of Lasting’s users shared how he came to appreciate his long-distance status. “I know it sounds crazy, but I loved being in a long-distance relationship. I could devote 100% of my attention to my girlfriend when we were together. When we were apart, I focused on classes and spent time with my friends. That worked really well for us while I was in law school.”
Frustrating as it might seem to be separated, try to think of a few ways your long distance relationship is actually beneficial. Do you have more time for hobbies or working out or spending time with friends and family? Make a list of the positive aspects of long distance and focus on these during the harder days when the distance is really getting to you.
There’s no doubt you’ll have days when your long distance relationship seems especially difficult. You might even be tempted to do something impulsive—like quit your job or drop out of school—just so you can be together with the person you love.
While that might sound romantic, remember there’s an important reason you’re living far away from the person you love right now. That reason may hinge on a professional, financial, or family situation that needs to play out properly until the timing is right for you both to be together geographically.
Don’t let months or years of progress go to waste out of impatience to finally be together. Your relationship will be stronger in the long run if you finish what you’ve started and finish it well.
Anyone who’s been in a long distance relationship can attest to the underlying heartache of being apart from the person you love. If you’re in a relationship with the person you want to spend your life with, at some point you’ll need to craft a plan to join your worlds together.
Whether this involves a wedding, an engagement, a job change or a relocation, be sure your plan considers the right next step at the right time for both people.
Having the hope of being together long term can help you ride out the toughest days of being apart from one another. That little bit of hope can go a long way toward making the one you love seem not quite so far away.
How do you know if the one you’re into is “The One”? Download Lasting and check out the Dating series.
21 Best Tips On Making A Long-Distance Relationship Work
Having texting and video conferencing at our fingertips, it appears that maintaining a long-distance relationship is easier than ever. Long-distance calls are no longer a luxury; the days when they needed to be rationed are long gone.
Long-distance couples do not have to depend on 3 p.m. postal delivery, waiting for news that is at best four days old.
Now we’re no longer even in the days of waiting for our loved ones to check their e-mail when they get home from work. Instant messaging keeps us hooked to each other even when we are out shopping, working, playing, watching a movie and doing much more.
Technology, however, cannot compensate for everything in a long-distance relationship, as anyone with a long-distance relationship will tell you.
Many long-distance relationships still seem emotionally difficult despite the lack of regular physical proximity.
People often think long-distance relationships will never work. It may be discouraged by your family, and some of your best friends may tell you not to take it too seriously in case you end up heartbroken.
Many things are not possible due to the extra distance – no one can promise it will be easy. Things could get complicated, and you might feel lonely and sad at times.
However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest. Being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s hair… these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long-distance relationship.
Long-distance relationships may be tough, but they have their own surprises too.
21 Tips on How to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Work
If you want to make your long-distance relationship work, try out these tips:
1. Avoid excessive communication.
It is unwise to be overly “sticky” and possessive. You two don’t really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples think that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. And it might only make things worse. Soon you would get tired of “loving.”
Remember: Less is more. It is not about spamming — you are only going to exhaust yourselves. It’s really about teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots.
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2.See it as an opportunity.
“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” – Anonymous
View it as a learning journey for both of you. This is an opportunity for you to prove your love for one another. According to a Chinese proverb, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of thinking that this long-distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.
As Emma says it to Will in season four of Glee,
“I would rather be here, far from you, but feeling really close, rather than close to you but feeling really far away.” – Emma, Glee Season 4
3. Set some ground rules to manage your expectations.
Both of you need to be clear with what you expect of each other during this long-distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise.
For instance, are you two exclusive? Is it all right for the other person to go on dates? What is your commitment level? It’s better to be open with each other about all these things.
4. Try to communicate regularly, and creatively.
Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day — this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and its happenings, however mundane some of the things may seem.
To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips, and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.
5. Talk dirty with each other.
Sexual tension is undoubtedly one of the most important things between couples. In a way, sexual desire is like the glue that keeps both parties from drifting apart. Sexual need is not only biological but also emotional.
Keep the flames burning by sending each other teasing texts filled with sexual innuendos and provocative descriptions. Sexy puns work pretty well too.
6. Avoid “dangerous” situations.
If you already know that going to the club or going drinking with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you should either 1. Not do it or 2. Tell your partner beforehand to reassure them.
You should not let this sort of thing slip by because it will only make your partner extra worried or suspicious – and of course, very upset because they will feel powerless or lack control over the situation.
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You can fall victim to your traps by going out with eye candy from work after work or dating someone from your past who has been flirting with you without realizing it. Before entering a dangerous situation, you need to recognize the dangers.
Listen to your heart, but don’t just rely on it. Make sure you also listen to your mind.
7. Do things together.
Play a game online together. Watch a documentary at the same time on YouTube or Vimeo. Share a song on Skype while another plays the guitar. Video-call each other and go for a walk together. Together, go online shopping – and buy each other gifts (see #13).
You really have to be creative and spontaneous about it.
8. Do similar things.
Recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, news and etc., to each other. When you read, watch and listen to the same things, you get to have more topics in common to talk about.
Even if you live apart, it’s nice to have some shared experiences.
9. Make visits to each other.
Every long-distance relationship is enriched by visits.
After all the waiting and yearning and abstinence, you finally get to meet each other to fulfil all the little things like kissing, holding hands, etc. These are typical for couples in long-distance relationships but more special and intimate for long-distance couples.
The atmosphere will be filled with fireworks, glitter bombs, confetti, rainbows, and butterflies.
10. Have a goal in mind.
Are we going to be apart for a long time?” “what about the future?” These are the questions you should ask yourselves.
In fact, a couple cannot stay in a long-distance relationship forever. Eventually, we all need to settle down.
So make a plan with each other. Set up a timeline, mark down the estimated times apart and times together, and draw an end goal.
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It is important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals. So that even if you are not living in the same space and the same timezone, both of you are still motivated to work together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.
That’s right, you need some motivation to make a relationship last too. Find out more about what motivates you here.
11. Enjoy your alone time and your time with your friends and family.
You are alone, but you are not lonely unless you choose to feel like it. You don’t have to let your world revolve around your partner — you still have you, your friends, and your family. Take this time apart to do more with your friends and family. Go to the gym more often. Get a new hobby. Binge-watch shows. There are plenty of things for you to do that don’t involve your partner.
12. Stay honest with each other.
Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from the inside out. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. It’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.
13. Know each other’s schedules.
It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and free. So that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when they are in the middle of class or halfway through a business meeting. Make sure you are aware of everyone’s small and big events in their lives, i.e., college midterms and exams, important business trips and meetings, job interviews, etc. Particularly if you live in different time zones, this becomes more important.
14. Keep track of each other’s social media activities.
Facebook and Instagram photos of each other. Send each other tweets. Tag each other on Facebook. Post stuff on each other’s wall. Let them know you care. Be cool with stalking each other.
15. Gift a personal object for the other person to hold on to.
Memories have power. No matter what it is–a pendant, a ring, a keychain, a collection of songs and videos, or a perfume bottle. Everyday items and things have meanings to us, whether we realize it or not. We all try to store memories in material things so that when our minds fail, we will still be able to look at or hold onto something that will help us recall our memories. This is why something so simple can mean so much to a person when others may see little or no value in it.
16. Get a good messaging app.
This is extremely important because texting is the most frequent and common way of communication the two of you have. You need a good messaging app on your phones that allows interactions beyond words and emoticons.
Personally, I use this messaging app called LINE. I find it highly effective because it has a huge reserve of playful and very funny “stickers” that are free for its users to use. You can also go to the app’s “Sticker Shop” to download (or gift!) extra stickers of different themes (e.g., Hello Kitty, Pokemon, Snoopy, MARVEL, etc.) at a low price. Occasionally, the app will give out free sticker sets for promotions. This messaging app is cute and easy to learn to use.
17. Snail-mail your gift.
Mail each other postcards and hand-written love letters. Send each other gifts across the globe from time to time. Flower deliveries on birthdays, anniversaries, and Valentine’s Day. Shop online and surprise each other with cool T-shirts, sexy underwear, and such.
18. Stay positive.
You need to constantly inject positive energy into the long-distance relationship to keep it alive. Yes, the waiting can be painful, and you can sometimes feel lonely, but you need to remind yourself that the fruits at the end will be sweet as heaven.
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One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful all the time. Be thankful that you have someone to love — someone who also loves you back. Be thankful for the little things, like the hand-made letter that arrived safely in your mailbox the other day. Be thankful for each other’s health and safety.
19. Keep each other updated on each other’s friends and family.
This will help you two to know each other’s culture and values. Knowing small habits of each other helps in developing an understanding and building mutual trust.
Talking about family and friends gives you more matters to talk about. The best thing to talk about is gossip and scandals.
20. Video-call whenever possible.
Because sometimes looking into each other’s eyes and hearing each other’s voices can make everything feel alright again.
A video call is though nothing like being together, but it’s the best thing and the most to do for coziness in a long-distance relationship.
21. Give each other pet names.
Because it’s cute. It keeps the lovey-dovey going. Having special names for each other reserved only for one another are heart-warming. Hearing that one word with love lifts our spirits up, and we feel assured all over again.
Chaos seems to fade away just by hearing that special word from someone special.
Love (or like) is a force that is beyond your control. Love just happens. The same goes for turning off those feelings, even when you get the perfect job halfway across the country.
Neither one of us expects to be long-distance in a relationship. But if you’re in a relationship like this, you’ll just have to make the most out of a difficult situation. These advice for long distance relationships will hopefully help you stay strong and cheerful when living apart from one another.
Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com
who can get a job quickly and without experience
Some professions, even before the epidemic, very often assumed a remote work format. They can be divided into two types:
- Professions requiring professional training;
- Occupations with so-called easy entry (not requiring special professional training).
The former primarily include IT specialists, graphic designers, UX designers, 3D designers, HTML designers and almost all digital marketing specialists: for example, SMM managers, email marketers, SEO specialists, content managers , traffic managers, targetologists. nine0003
Be realistic: now many online courses offer to teach these specialties from scratch in a very short time, but the most you get quickly is a general idea and the basics. These are full-fledged professions that require knowledge and experience, skills are honed over the years. Therefore, if you are thinking about switching to one of them, get ready for a long process. Even copywriting, which from the outside often seems accessible to anyone, is not as simple as most people imagine. nine0003
If you're looking for a job right now, look for "easy entry" jobs. To work on them, a standard set of knowledge and skills for any modern literate person is enough, special qualifications are not needed. Some of these professions may require a little training at the initial stage, but this is a short process and you do not need to spend your money on it - employers themselves teach newcomers everything necessary. Sometimes you need to own special computer programs, but if you wish, you can master them yourself. In most cases, it is enough to be a confident user of ordinary computer office programs. nine0003
Account Manager, Call Center Operator, Contact Center Specialist, Telephone Operator, Dispatcher - no matter how they call such vacancies. But it is not the name that is indicative, but the content of the functionality. Such vacancies, as a rule, are of five types.
This is work on the phone. The employer gives you access to the database of potential customers, and you call them and offer to buy the company's products or services, the result of the call is recorded in a special CRM system, to which you are given access. You don’t need to invent anything - you will be provided with ready-made scripts (scripts) for the conversation. And you will not have to call from a personal phone - serious employers will organize access to their virtual PBX system. This is such a special computer program - with its help you will make calls. nine0003
There are options: for example, the base for calling can be cold or warm. It is psychologically more difficult to work with a cold database: these are people who did not expect your call and in most cases will not be happy about trying to sell them something, sometimes they can react very sharply. A warm base is a base of customers who are already interested in the company's products (perhaps they went to its website and left a request for a call) or were interested in it before.
In any case, be critical of promises of high earnings: if you do not have experience in sales, then the salary will not be high at first. Sales managers have low salaries, the rest is a percentage of sales, and good sales come with experience and in any case are highly dependent on customer demand. nine0003
Whatever you need. Willingness to talk a lot, politeness and poise (it is important to calmly perceive a negative reaction to calls), the absence of problems with diction and the technical ability to talk (computer, headphones with a microphone, the Internet and a quiet home environment). Usually you need to get pre-training from the employer in order to understand the products and master basic sales techniques.
An example of a vacancy
This is also work on the phone and in a special program (CRM-system), but a little different in essence. Here you need to receive incoming calls, and make outgoing calls only to those who left requests in the online store. It is necessary to pronounce the terms of the order, check the availability of goods in the warehouse (of course, remotely, according to a special program), agree on the delivery time, specify the address, transfer the order to the courier service. Sometimes you will have to take calls from nervous customers who are unhappy with a delayed delivery or product. nine0003
The work of the dispatcher of various services is based on the same principle.
A similar job, but usually with a wider range of responsibilities, is in companies that work with corporate clients (sell something to other companies). There you need to work with orders from legal entities, draw up documentation on them in the internal system (contracts, order forms, reporting), call customers, control the order execution process, and interact with the departments that fulfill the order on these issues. nine0003
What is required. Everything is the same as for a job as a sales manager, plus sometimes experience with documentation.
Some vacancies (most often small online stores) involve working as a sales manager (that is, calls with an offer to make a purchase), as well as receiving incoming calls, processing orders, communicating with a warehouse for paperwork, and even controlling payments, posting them in 1C.
As required. nine0026 Everything is the same as for working as a sales manager, plus sometimes - experience with documentation, the ability to work in the 1C program.
Such employees are usually recruited by marketing centers. You need to call the customer base of these marketing centers - various service companies - and ask about satisfaction with the quality of their services. Another option is marketing surveys with a random base. A special program is installed on your computer, which randomly gives out phone numbers and questionnaire questions. Respondents' responses must be entered into the online system. nine0003
As required. Everything is the same as for working as a sales manager.
An example of a vacancy
Inquiry services and hotlines usually work as support for various state and municipal services, non-profit organizations. And support services accompany users of various telecommunications services - for example, communication providers, online service operators and even online games.
In the help desks, you need to answer incoming calls or chat messages with, as a rule, typical questions. And in support services, it is necessary to remotely help solve service problems and advise on how to use the service. nine0003
As required. In addition to everything that is needed to work as a sales manager, you will have to undergo training - you must be well-versed in the information on which you will answer questions and help users.
An example of a vacancy
Such vacancies involve the processing of information - textual, digital or otherwise - and its systematization.
Such vacancies are found both under the very broad concept of "PC operator", and under more detailed ones - for example, a product description controller, a moderator. The essence of the tasks is different. For example, check the correctness of the description of the product cards of the online store according to the model and make corrections if something is wrong. Or look for errors in some other documentation, collect and classify disparate data, enter data from different documents into a single system, format scanned texts. nine0003
As required. Computer equipped with a standard office software package, Internet access. For this work, as a rule, ordinary digital literacy, the ability to work with standard programs, is sufficient. But sometimes you need to know or master special software.
An example of a job
In fact, transcribing audio messages, that is, processing audio recordings into texts, is one of the typical types of part-time jobs, often such one-time orders are placed on freelance exchanges. On hh.ru, there are also large one-time orders as temporary (project) work. For example, if you need to convert the recordings of several online lectures into text format. But some companies and entrepreneurs need performers for this function on an ongoing basis, because there is a regular need to process audio recordings into texts. nine0003
What you need. Computer, Internet access, fast typing skill, high literacy.
Example of vacancy
Please note: you can view all available vacancies for remote work if, after entering the hh.ru main page, click on the selection "Work from home" .
If you want to search for specific options (for example, by job title, by some keywords in its description, using different filters (salary, professional area, and so on), then:
- enter advanced search;
- use the filters and search queries you need;
- select remote work in the "Work Schedule" filter.
If you use the hh.ru mobile application, in the search options in the "Work Schedule" section, also select remote work.
And switch the search region from your city to the “all of Russia” option - when working remotely, it is not so important where the company is based.
Another option: subscribe to our telegram channel with remote vacancies @hh_vacancy_udalenka
By the way, in the search results you now often see vacancies marked “Response without resume” . These are any vacancies in which employers have provided contact information for contacting them directly (by email or by phone). It makes sense to use this method of communication if, for example, this is a simple mass vacancy for which a resume is not so necessary. Or maybe you just want to clarify something before responding.
Work from a distance: there is something to do!
To work not in the office, but at home or wherever you want - in a cafe, for example, or even on the beach... Some people dream about it, but the management puts someone before the fact: now we will be like this. Today, remote work is no longer a rarity. Every third company, according to the Superjob portal, has employees who work remotely. Most of all, they are in demand in such areas as sales, accounting and finance, personnel, design, marketing and advertising, engineering and IT, as well as where special education is not required, for example, in call centers. nine0003
Let's note another new trend - the home office mode, when an employee spends only part of the time in a team: a day or two a week. It would seem that this is convenient for everyone, but in reality everything is not so simple.
Freedom plus responsibility
Get rid of office slavery, reduce stress and fatigue, save travel time, make life more harmonious - isn't it tempting? Nevertheless, many, discussing remote work on the forums, speak out against the free regime. “I relax very much when there is no leadership nearby”, “I couldn’t do it, my self-discipline is lame”, “I’ll dissolve without control,” users admit. nine0003
When we take on a task alone, we not only become freer, but our responsibility increases, says business consultant and coach Maria Makarushkina: “Maturity is required for this kind of work. On the other hand, it also helps the employee to become more mature.” For many, the transition to remote work is an important step that changes established habits.
77% of executives in Russian companies believe that remote employees are less likely to be promoted
“A new life has begun for me,” says 48-year-old Mikhail, an IT specialist, enthusiastically. - From the age of 23, I sat in the office without unbending, two hours were spent on the road. Ever since I got the opportunity to work from home a year ago, I've been scheduling my own time. I get up an hour and a half later than the previous 25 years, I can go for a run in the afternoon or go to the gym. ”
The desire to choose what to do and when to do it yourself is part of the general desire for independence that is characteristic of modern society. “Now for many, the topic of work-life balance is relevant, that is, the search for a balance between professional and personal life,” notes Maria Makarushkina. “And remote work just makes it possible to manage your time, choose the optimal mode of work and rest, listen to your life rhythms.” nine0003
Remote work is often preferred by people over forty
Remote work is often preferred by people over forty, “those who are tired of regular work for hire, of corporate wars,” Alena Vladimirskaya, head of the Pruffi recruiting agency, shares her observations.
Young people who dream of traveling to different countries and seeing the world also aspire to work “in freedom”. “But remote work is not very suitable for this,” notes Alena Vladimirskaya. “After all, you still have to work full time, so there is almost no time left to see a new country. ” She advises those who like to travel after graduation to work as a freelancer for a year or two, and then return and go to work in the office, because only there they will get the opportunity for career growth. nine0003
Away from the team
Half of those who tried to work remotely return to the office after 2-3 years, notes Alena Vladimirskaya. One of the main reasons is that they lack the joys of collective life - rituals like joint dinners, tea parties, conversations in the smoking room, holidays, the opportunity to chat with interesting people who come to the office.
In addition, the work environment provides us with a resource for professional development, continues Maria Makarushkina: “We enrich our experience and grow by participating in common projects, watching how colleagues work. This does not happen at remote work, where communication and mutual assistance are reduced to a minimum.” nine0003
Such an employee is expected to be always in touch
However, for introverts, this is a good option, the coach notes: remote work allows you not to build relationships, not to think about how to present yourself, how we look in the eyes of others. “The theme of the image is missing. There is no need to create your image, dress beautifully, spend time, effort and money on this.
You can sit in your bathrobe in front of a computer all day long. Some people are attracted to it, while others are intimidated. “I myself didn’t notice how I stopped taking care of myself, I could work without washing my face, with a shaggy head,” admits 35-year-old Veronika, a designer. - There was no incentive to put myself in order, because I live alone. In the end, I made a strong-willed decision and now I go to have breakfast in a cafe opposite, willy-nilly I have to change clothes and make up. And the mood immediately changes. nine0003
Career under threat
Most companies are still wary of remote work. They go for it rather involuntarily, explains Alena Vladimirskaya: for example, when there are not enough professionals in the industry, as in the field of IT and the Internet, if it is necessary to optimize costs or if the business requires a presence in another region, and it makes no sense to open a separate office.
At the same time, such an employee has practically no career prospects, says Maria Makarushkina: the authorities do not see him and cannot directly control his work. It would seem that there is no logic in this: after all, the main thing is whether the employee did the work on time and how well? After all, the office can be messy too. nine0003
“It's about cultural stereotypes,” explains Maria Makarushkina. “We don't have democratic traditions, and working relationships are no exception. In our culture, they are quite rigid, authoritarian, based on the constant control of the boss over employees. Western forms of work built on trust are still not taking root well.”
To promote an employee, the boss needs to understand what his style of work is, how he interacts with people
There is still logic in this distrust. “In order to promote an employee, the boss needs to understand not only what kind of professional he is, but also what kind of person he is, what his work style is, how he interacts with people, how reliable, decent he is, what his values are. With remote communication, it is more difficult to understand, ”comments Maria Makarushkina. nine0003
“Yes, remote work is not suitable for those who are focused on career growth,” Alyona Vladimirskaya agrees. – There is, perhaps, one exception: high-level experts. They can dictate their terms to the leaders.” A survey of Russian company executives conducted by the Superjob portal confirms this: 77% believe that remote employees are less likely to be promoted.
Work without borders
From the outside it seems that it is psychologically easier to work outside the office, in a comfortable home environment or in co-working without the "supervision" of the authorities. But in fact, for those who work in this mode, the working day seems to never end. Elena, 45, a legal consultant, admits that she has to check her mail not only during the day, but also in the evening. “Our offices are scattered all over the country, and they can write to me from anywhere, often demanding an urgent answer. Given the different time zones, it turns out that I can never relax and forget about work, ”she complains. nine0003
“Such a worker is expected to be always in touch,” confirms coach Sylvain Pascual and suggests disconnecting and setting boundaries: “A remote worker should not feel obligated to someone. Excessive involvement, a dimensionless working day in the long run is harmful both to health and to business.
Finding the right solution
Many employees would like to work remotely - all the time, several days a week or at least a couple of times a month. Sometimes it is necessary for family reasons. But few people dare to ask for it: what if they consider it a “freeloader”? Maria Makarushkina does not agree with this. nine0003
“We need to be able to defend our rights and interests, provided that we are confident in our abilities and ready to take responsibility for the performance of work tasks to a greater extent than in the office. A good leader will rather prefer a motivated, energetic remote worker than a disgruntled, immersed in their own problems, but regularly serving time in the office.