I obsess over everything
How to Stop Overthinking Everything
Am I Overthinking? | Ways to Stop Overthinking Now | How to Get Help
Did I remember to make [X crucial appointment] by [Y strict deadline]?
What if I offended [Z person] by saying [ABC possibly clueless thing]?
Am I prepared to completely shift gears if fill-in-the-blank-potential-catastrophe occurs?
These days, what with a recession, tensions around deep-rooted social inequalities and injustice (never mind playing digital pandemic schoolmarm and Googling how to pry codependent pets off of your lap) the past couple of years may have found you overthinking things — and more than a little bit.
For some of us, though, excessively turning stuff over in our minds (even a routine social interaction or no-big-deal tasks) has been a bad habit for a while. The extra stress brought on by current events may have fanned that nagging tendency into an irresistible force that sucks up hours to anxiously analyzing and second-guessing even the most mundane decisions.
According to mental health specialists, those who frequently overthink — a tendency that's known as rumination in psychology speak — don't realize how quickly the habit can snowball. What starts out as proofing an email to catch spelling errors can turn into chewing on certain word choices (do I sound bossy? Rude?!) before finally hitting "send". Then once it's out there, you play out possible scenarios of how your coworkers will react to your words, working yourself into needless worry. After comes the wave of relief when you open a "Sounds good" reply or one that reads "Thanks for your hard work!" just a few hours later. Why were you even agonizing about it?
Quitting overthinking first requires awareness that you're devoting too much time and energy to stuff you cannot control and that others are probably not that concerned about. If you've landed here, it's a good start — you're aware and interested in moving past this tendency, which often doesn't help anything, makes you more anxious and only saps your time and energy, explains Mimi Winsberg, M.
D., the chief medical officer at virtual therapy provider Brightside.
Just by saying 'I'm overthinking, and that's okay,' can help stop yourself.
One thing you should know is that you're far from alone. That's because overthinking is thought to be hard-wired: Hundreds of years ago, humans used rumination as a way to avoid repeating deadly mistakes, or missing opportunities to collect food in the wild, explains Dr. Winsberg. "These are behaviors that have a purpose in our brains; they help us both survive and succeed," she says. Now that we have mastered staying alive, our brains still work in the same way, even though the things we need to "survive" are different — and overthinking doesn't literally keep us alive as it did back in the day.
And it's not always bad: "These days, it can be adaptive to the extent that overthinking helps people stay on track with what's socially acceptable, to avoid situations that might result in exclusion from groups," she explains.
But too much thinking can stop you from getting things done, cause you to spin out emotionally, and prompt you to be way too hard on yourself. It can also take you away from what's happening in the moment and create extra stressors, rather than solving a real problem.
How do I know if I'm overthinking things?People who overthink things regularly, psychologists believe, are often those who may have larger self-esteem or acceptance issues, Dr. Winsberg explains. If you're constantly overthinking (more on that later), however, it may be a symptom of clinical anxiety and depression or even obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Overthinking can feel and look different for everyone, and at first, it can be difficult to determine whether you're just being thoughtful and planning carefully — or veering into rumination.
Here are some ways overthinking and rumination can look:
- You replay things: It can be a conversation, a scene at a social event or a series of events — and you're watching it on repeat in your head hours to days after it's occurred.
This kind of overthinking may be the most harmful since there's nothing you can do about something that's already happened, and there's only so much you can learn from the experience before you feel plain helpless. - You obsess over something you need to do: Are you agonizing over an email you have to send? Airline tickets you need to book? Dr. Winsberg compares this to a surgeon who has made all necessary preparations and taken all precautions for a patient on the operating table... but can't seem to make the first cut. This type of obsession will often delay necessary progress — more often than not, you don't get much done.
- You are rehearsing something you're anticipating: This kind of overthinking may be the most common, Dr. Winsberg explains — you believe that working out every single detail in your brain could help things go smoother. For example, you role play a presentation in your head again and again, playing out possible sidetracks or tech glitches.
But having too set a plan of how things "should" go makes you tenser, not more relaxed, and may distract you during your presentation from social cues and spontaneous feedback, making your presentation feel less natural and more disconnected.
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You get the idea. "These adaptive functions, when taken out of control, can result in a feedback loop that gets overly active and can spin out of control — to the point where it can create dysfunction rather than function," Dr. Winsberg says, adding that mental health pros draw a clear behavioral distinction between ordinary planning and overthinking. "Oftentimes what determines whether a behavior is adaptive or classified as an illness is what we label, sort of, as interference with social and occupational functioning. In other words, does this behavior interfere with your ability to function in daily life? That's when it can become problematic," she adds.
Our list of tips and strategies to address obsessive thoughts is far from exhaustive — and it may not cover obsessing over food and mealtimes, in particular. If you're overthinking your food choices and find yourself regularly unable to eat, it's crucial to contact the National Eating Disorder Association's live hotline at 800-931-2237. You'll find more resources and a list of qualified care providers in your area from NEDA here. We invite you to learn more about disordered eating here.
Mike Garten
How to stop overthinking:To determine if your overthinking is getting in the way of your daily life, ask yourself:
- Are you often sad or angry about things you can't change in the past?
- Are people around you frustrated with you due to inaction or inactivity due to your overthinking?
- Do you not do things you'd like to do because you're afraid of doing it wrong?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, connecting with a mental health care provider may be a good call.
But many people who ruminate can quit overthinking with a few self-taught tricks. With the help of experts, we've put together the following tactics:
Be gentle with yourself.
One way to stop overthinking is to simply notice that you're doing it. Try not to judge it, and don't put pressure on yourself to repress it.
"Just by saying, 'I'm noticing that I'm doing this, and I'm okay with it,' can sometimes, in itself, stop yourself from overthinking," explains Adrienne Meier, Ph.D., a California-based clinical psychologist. "A cycle that often happens is that people begin to overthink something, then they get angry for noticing they're doing it, and then they're thinking depreciating thoughts for doing it. It starts a vicious cycle" that leaves you feeling rotten about yourself, she adds.
Distract yourself.
It may be the easiest strategy on this list, and the most underutilized.
Jumping into another activity before you begin to obsess over a task at hand can be very effective.
"If we're doing something, and engaging in something, it's difficult to get wrapped up in our own thoughts," Meier says. "Things like certain movies, or taking a hot shower, playing an instrument, or even a video game; having to engage your brain can totally change the habit. After all, you can't really do two things well at once."
Give yourself a short time to problem-solve.If you're feeling anxious about something in the future, it may simply be a sign that you want to prepare a bit more, which is fine. In a calm moment, pick two or three concrete tasks that you can do to prepare (make a list of things to pack, schedule your Uber) and then declare yourself done until it's truly time to pack and go. If you find yourself revisiting the event in the abstract ("traveling is stressful! I always forget things"), take a deep breath and remind yourself that you're all set for now.
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Reading and re-reading an email or post before hitting send it is an example of this that experts say is quite common, as people worry that they'll make an embarrassing blunder that others can easily catch. Calmly reread it no more than three times, or give yourself a time limit, for example; 10 minutes to edit and post a picture and caption on Instagram. A time limit can give you the structure to feel in control as opposed to not having one at all.
If you realize that you're obsessing about something that can't be changed, simply that recognition may stop you from agonizing over it now. Remind yourself that what's done is done, and let yourself off the hook, says Meier. "Of course, you can try to address it or improve it [the next time around], but it's already been said and done," Meier says.
Ask yourself: Is this something I need to fix now?
Anxious thoughts can come on unexpectedly.
Take a deep breath, pause and think about whether anything is truly urgent, Dr. Winsberg advises. "Most of the time, you can take a breath and say: '
Okay, I've registered this as a concern and I'll deal with that at another time and place,'" she adds.
Choosing to avoid impulse reactions to anxious thoughts can allow you to notice the feeling first ("Oh, I'm feeling anxious") which keeps you from ruminating. Eventually, you'll be able to recognize the feeling and just sit with it, without acting on it.
Focus on what you have control over.
Let's say you're meeting for a job interview. Overthinking might be a way to try and feel like you have control over it — for you to recite all the possible answers to any question that may arise, which you may feel will be better for your chances. Of course, total control is impossible to have in situations like these, explains Kruti Patel, Ph.D., an Austin-based clinical psychologist.
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Rather than focus on what you don't have total control over, take stock of what you are already in control of. Prepare answers to the basics and then think of two or three things you want them to know about you, no matter what is asked. "Focus on what you can do and say, so you can feel in control of the message," Patel says. "Internal control is much more predictable than having control over others." Remember: You can also ask follow-up questions, crack a joke, engage with something they're sharing by smiling or nodding, and then make sure you convey what you want to convey.
Get a reality check.
Asking a friend or a family member for affirmation or validation about how something was perceived is okay if it'll save you from hours of self-torture. "You're gathering information about the situation that happened, and just making sure that didn't come off in a way that wasn't intended," says Dr.
Winsberg. Then you can let it go.
If you're super-anxious, the tactics above may not be able to keep you from overthinking, and you may need to talk to someone to get personalized help. If your tendency to overthink ends up being tied to clinical anxiety or depression disorders, you'll likely need additional support to overcome this habit, or even medication in treatment. This is especially true if you have been trying for more than six months to keep emotional distress and obsessive thoughts at bay.
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To be clear: Overthinking things doesn't mean you are necessarily experiencing a mental illness, but you may still benefit from talking to someone. It's crucial to do so if you're avoiding entire social interactions because you'll know you're over-analyze them, or if you're unable to stop yourself from replaying events in your mind almost every day.
"Reach out to a therapist for help, as they'll be able to understand more about you after some time. It's also a chance to receive personalized tools that are unique to you," Patel says.
If you are in crisis or you think you may have an emergency, call your healthcare provider or 911 immediately. For those experiencing suicidal thoughts, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) to talk to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area at any time.
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Zee Krstic
Health Editor
Zee Krstic is a health editor for Good Housekeeping, where he covers health and nutrition news, decodes diet and fitness trends and reviews the best products in the wellness aisle. Prior to joining GH in 2019, Zee fostered a nutrition background as an editor at Cooking Light and is continually developing his grasp of holistic health through collaboration with leading academic experts and clinical care providers.
He has written about food and dining for Time, among other publications.
Why Do I Obsess Over Things and Overthink Behavior
photographed by Erin Yamagata; produced by Julie Borowsky; produced by Lorenna Gomez-Sanchez; modeled by Shaliqua Alleyne.
When a close friend of mine suddenly ghosted last year, I did something that probably annoyed the hell out of the friends I had left: I obsessed for months over why she might have done it and every possible thing I could have done wrong. Like Cady Heron in Mean Girls, I could hear people getting bored of me, but I couldn't stop — it just kept coming up like word vomit.
Unfortunately, obsessing over things until I get an answer is something that I do all the time. But as scattered as I feel when this happens, Kevin Chapman, PhD, a member of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), reassures me that overthinking or obsessing over things is extremely common in most people.
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"You don't even have to have a pathology at all for overthinking, obsession, or obtrusive thought to be an issue," he says, adding that it's a trait that cuts across anxiety disorders, but also appears a lot in people who don't have anxiety.
Often, he says, obsession happens with people who have the tendency to be, well, a little neurotic. "Neurotic" is a loaded term, but Dr. Chapman says, "all neuroticism really means is that you feel a strong negative emotion more frequently and intensely than other people."
If you're anxious, angry, or sad, for example, those feelings are dialed up to 10 — so when you have something to fixate on, you're likely to obsess over it. But that doesn't quite answer the question I ask myself multiple times a day: Why am I like this? According to Dr. Chapman, overthinking is actually a way of solving a problem for some people.
"Many people are anxious about uncertainty, so if you're uncertain about a potential outcome in their day-to-day life, then you tend to overthink it as a futile attempt at problem-solving," he says.
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You don't even have to have a pathology at all for overthinking, obsession, or obtrusive thought to be an issue.
Kevin Chapman, PhD
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In other words, if you have an uncertain situation going on in your life and can't do anything else about it, you think through all of the possible outcomes so that you can try to prepare yourself for the worst, even if there's nothing you can do and worrying is useless.
It may seem counter-productive, but for some of us, thinking things over can make them seem less stressful.
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"If you have the impression that thinking about something thoroughly will reduce stress, then I tend to view overthinking as a positive thing," Dr. Chapman says.
Sure, poring over every single detail about something in your mind might give you some temporary relief, but as you can imagine, it can backfire because it could make you even more anxious over possibly bad outcomes. If that's what you tend to do, Dr. Chapman says it could be helpful to ask yourself one big question about whatever it is you're obsessing over: "What evidence is there that something negative will come out of this?"
"Typically what you find when you ask those questions is that [the negative outcome] is not likely," he says. "Challenge yourself to come up with an alternative thought to challenge that original thought, and then use that as a mantra.
"
If, say, you made a mistake at work, you might overthink what could happen: You could get fired, fall behind on rent, be evicted, and become homeless. Sure, that might sound like you're going overboard, but Dr. Chapman says confronting the worst-case scenario might help you process how you feel about the situation (and prepare you for the worst-case scenario if it actually happens). As an alternative thought, maybe you also consider the best case scenario, where your boss understands your mistake and helps you work through it instead of firing you.
Since plenty of people overthink and obsess over things, this isn't a surefire sign that you have anxiety, but if your overthinking is really starting to affect your life, that's when it might be time to ask a doctor if you could be suffering from an anxiety disorder.
"The main criteria is that if you’re subjectively distressed by the symptoms, like if you’re worrying more than an hour a day about various things, that you’re having physiological symptoms that make it hard for you to function at work or in relationships," Dr.
Chapman says.
If you are experiencing anxiety and are in need of crisis support, please call the Crisis Call Center’s 24-hour hotline at 1-775-784-8090.
20 techniques not to go in cycles and not to “wind up”
120 951
Anti-stressKnow yourself
Many of us are replaying conversations that have already taken place in our heads: “Why did he say that?”, “I made a complete fool of myself!”, “ Here's what you should have said…”
Perhaps you are worried about an upcoming meeting at work, a weekend party, or filing your tax return: “How will my presentation go?”, “What if the party will the former come?”, “What if I fill out the declaration incorrectly?”
Deep down we know that such thoughts only hurt, but their whirlpool continues to pull us in. If you are facing a similar problem, one of the techniques can help you.
1. Ask yourself if such thoughts are productive.
Would another “mental rehearsal” for your upcoming meeting with your boss help you? Maybe it's time to admit that you have already prepared enough, and you need to trust your intuition?
2.
Look at the situation from the outside Will the case that you constantly replay in your head be important in five years, or are you exaggerating its significance?
3. Schedule according to biological rhythms
When are you usually at your best physically, mentally and emotionally? If you find it easiest to concentrate in the morning, try to use this time to deal with complex projects, which may seem overwhelming in the afternoon. If you are full of energy in the evening, plan important meetings and tasks for the afternoon.
4. Focus on sensations
What are you hearing, seeing, touching, smelling and tasting right now? Focusing on the sensations will help bring you back to the present moment.
5. Give up the pursuit of the ideal
None of us is perfect and cannot be. We are constantly changing, developing, but we will never know everything in the world. Instead, the acquired knowledge and information should be used as efficiently as possible.
6. Accept what you can't change
Something may not have worked out the way you wanted. Maybe you yourself made a mistake. Learn from the situation and forget about it. Don't let the past distract from the present.
7. Accept that you cannot predict or control the future.
Worrying about the future will surely ruin the present.
8. Move more
Take a walk around the neighborhood or walk down the hallway, go for a run or bike ride.
9. Realize that you don't need to understand everything
To change a habit, you don't have to understand why you have adopted it. Sometimes introspection is helpful, but often it becomes a convenient excuse for not doing something you don't feel like doing.
10. Repeat phrases that help you focus and calm down
Tell yourself: “I can handle this”, “Relax!”, “Live in the moment”, “Deal with problems as they come”, “It’s okay, I in safety". You can also count to ten, exhaling at each count.
11. Solve One Problem at a Time
How often do you talk on the phone while driving, cooking dinner, or surfing the Net? You're dividing your attention between multiple tasks, which leads to information overload, which in turn causes anxiety and looping. Learn to focus on one thing.
12. Recognizing the problem, focus on the solution
Think about the optimal outcome instead of worrying about everything that could go wrong.
13. Think about what you are depriving yourself of through fantasies or looping.
14. Think about what obsessive thoughts save you from
Maybe your mental exercises distract you from unpleasant feelings and discoveries? If this is the case, find out what you are trying to protect yourself from. Are you missing out on a lot?
15. Ask yourself what is in your power and what is not
Focus on what you can change: your attitude to the situation, behavior, decisions. Of course, the actions of other people can hurt you, but they are free to do as they want.
Also, you cannot change the past, but you can draw conclusions from it. We cannot predict the future, but we can prepare for it.
16. Set aside a separate time for worries
If you decide that the situation really deserves careful consideration, make an appointment with yourself. At the appointed time, set a timer - for example, for 15 or 30 minutes. During this time, worry and worry. Take notes if necessary. If the allotted time is not enough, schedule another meeting and postpone the experience until this moment.
17. Develop mindfulness
Learn to be in the present moment without judgment, notice thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations while maintaining the position of an observer.
18. Practice deep abdominal breathing
It helps to relax and focus on the present moment.
19. Take improv lessons
Spontaneity and creativity are qualities that will be very useful in life.
20. Help others
When we shift our attention and thoughts to another person or a new business, we are distracted from our own problems and begin to concentrate on the present.
About the author: Rachel Finzi is a psychotherapist at UCLA.
Text: Zhanna Omelianenko Photo Source: Getty Images
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what is obsessive-compulsive disorder - T&P
Anxiety is characteristic of all people to one degree or another, and many of us sometimes perform rituals of varying degrees of irrationality, designed to insure us from troubles - bang your fist on the table or put on a lucky t-shirt for an important event.
But sometimes this mechanism gets out of control, causing a serious mental disorder. Theories and Practices explains what tormented Howard Hughes, how an obsession differs from schizophrenic delusions, and what magical thinking has to do with it. The character of Jack Nicholson in the famous movie As Good As It Gets was not only a complex character, but also a whole range of oddities: he constantly washed his hands (and every time with new soap), ate only with his own cutlery, avoided other people's touches and tried not to step on on cracks in the asphalt. All these "eccentricities" are typical signs of obsessive-compulsive disorder, a mental illness in which a person is obsessed with obsessive thoughts that make him repeat the same actions regularly. OCD is a real godsend for a screenwriter: this disease is more common in people with high intelligence, it gives the character originality, noticeably interferes with his communication with others, but at the same time is not associated with a threat to society, unlike many other mental disorders.
But in reality, the life of a person with obsessive-compulsive disorder cannot be called easy: constant tension and fear are hidden behind innocent and even funny, at first glance, actions.
It is as if a record is stuck in the head of such a person: he regularly comes up with the same unpleasant thoughts that have little rational basis. For example, he imagines that dangerous microbes are everywhere, he is constantly afraid of hurting someone, losing some thing, or leaving the gas on when leaving home. A leaky faucet or an asymmetrical arrangement of objects on a table can drive him crazy.
The other side of this obsession, that is, obsession, is compulsion, the regular repetition of the same rituals, which should prevent impending danger. A person begins to believe that the day will go well only if, before leaving the house, he reads a children's rhyme three times, that he will protect himself from terrible diseases if he wash his hands several times in a row and use his own cutlery.
After the patient performs the ritual, he experiences relief for a while. 75% of patients suffer from both obsessions and compulsions at the same time, but there are cases when people experience only obsessions without performing rituals.
At the same time, obsessional thoughts differ from schizophrenic delusions in that the patient himself perceives them as absurd and illogical. He is not at all happy to wash his hands every half an hour and zip up his fly five times in the morning - but he simply cannot get rid of the obsession in any other way. The level of anxiety is too high, and the rituals allow the patient to achieve temporary relief from the condition. But at the same time, the love of rituals, lists or putting things on the shelves in itself, if it does not bring discomfort to a person, does not belong to the disorder. From this point of view, aesthetes diligently laying out carrot peels along the length in Things Organized Neatly are absolutely healthy.
Obsessions of an aggressive or sexual nature are the most problematic for people with OCD.
Some begin to fear that they will do something bad to other people, up to and including sexual violence and murder. Obsessive thoughts can take the form of individual words, phrases, or even lines of poetry - a good illustration can be an episode from the movie The Shining, where the protagonist, going crazy, starts typing the same phrase “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." A person with OCD experiences tremendous stress - he is simultaneously horrified by his thoughts and tormented by guilt for them, tries to resist them, and at the same time tries to make the rituals he performs go unnoticed by others. At the same time, in all other respects, his consciousness functions perfectly normally.
It is believed that obsessions and compulsions are closely related to "magical thinking", which arose at the dawn of mankind - the belief in the ability to take control of the world with the help of the right attitude and rituals. Magical thinking draws a direct parallel between a mental desire and a real consequence: if you draw a buffalo on the wall of a cave, tuning in to a successful hunt, you will certainly be lucky.
Apparently, this way of perceiving the world is born in the deep mechanisms of human thinking: neither scientific and technological progress, nor logical arguments, nor sad personal experience proving the uselessness of magical passes, do not save us from the need to look for the relationship between random things. Some scientists believe that it is embedded in our neuropsychology - the automatic search for patterns that simplify the picture of the world helped our ancestors survive, and the most ancient parts of the brain still work according to this principle, especially in a stressful situation. Therefore, with an increased level of anxiety, many people begin to be afraid of their own thoughts, fearing that they can become reality, and at the same time, they believe that a set of some irrational actions will help prevent an undesirable event.
In ancient times, this disorder was often associated with mystical causes: in the Middle Ages, people obsessed with obsessions were immediately sent to exorcists, and in the 17th century the concept was reversed - it was believed that such states arise due to excessive religious zeal.
In 1877, Wilhelm Griesinger, one of the founders of scientific psychiatry, and his student Karl-Friedrich-Otto Westphal found that the basis of "compulsive disorder" is a thought disorder, but it does not affect other aspects of behavior. They used the German term Zwangsvorstellung, which, being variously translated in Britain and the United States (as obsession and compulsion, respectively), became the modern name for the disease. And at 19In 05, the French psychiatrist and neurologist Pierre Maria Felix Janet singled out this neurosis from neurasthenia as a separate disease and called it psychasthenia.
Opinions differed as to the cause of the disorder - for example, Freud believed that obsessive-compulsive behavior refers to unconscious conflicts that manifest as symptoms, while his German colleague Emil Kraepelin attributed it to "constitutional mental illness" caused by physical causes.
Famous people also suffered from obsessional disorder - for example, the inventor Nikola Tesla counted steps while walking and the volume of food portions - if he failed to do this, the dinner was considered spoiled.
And the entrepreneur and American aviation pioneer Howard Hughes was terrified of dust and ordered employees to “wash themselves four times, each time using a large amount of lather from a new bar of soap,” before visiting him.
The exact causes of OCD are not clear even now, but all hypotheses can be divided into three categories: physiological, psychological and genetic. Proponents of the first concept associate the disease either with the functional and anatomical features of the brain, or with disorders in the metabolism of neurotransmitters (biologically active substances that transmit electrical impulses between neurons, or from neurons to muscle tissue) - first of all, serotonin and dopamine, as well as norepinephrine and GABA. Some researchers have noted that many patients with OCD had birth trauma at birth, which also confirms the physiological causes of OCD.
Supporters of psychological theories believe that the disease is associated with personality traits, character traits, psychological trauma and an incorrect reaction to the negative impact of the environment.
Sigmund Freud suggested that the occurrence of obsessive-compulsive symptoms is associated with the protective mechanisms of the psyche: isolation, elimination and reactive formation. Isolation protects a person from anxiety-causing affects and impulses, forcing them into the subconscious, liquidation is aimed at combating emerging repressed impulses - on it, in fact, the compulsive act is based. And, finally, reactive formation is a manifestation of patterns of behavior and consciously experienced attitudes that are opposite to emerging impulses.
There is also scientific evidence that genetic mutations contribute to OCD. They were found in unrelated families whose members suffered from OCD - in the serotonin transporter gene, hSERT. Studies of identical twins also confirm the existence of a hereditary factor. In addition, people with OCD are more likely to have close relatives with the same disorder than healthy people.
- It started for me at about 7-8 years old. The neurologist was the first to report the likelihood of OCD, even then there was a suspicion of obsessive neurosis.
I was constantly silent, scrolling through various theories in my head like "mental chewing gum." When I saw something that caused me anxiety, obsessive thoughts about it began, although the reasons were seemingly quite insignificant and, perhaps, would never have touched me.
At one time there was an obsessive thought that my mother might die. I turned over the same moment in my head, and it captured me so much that I could not sleep at night. And when I ride in a minibus or in a car, I constantly think about the fact that now we will have an accident, that someone will crash into us or we will fly off the bridge. A couple of times the thought arose that the balcony under me would fall apart, or someone would throw me out of there, or I myself would slip in the winter and fall.
We never really talked to the doctor, I just took different medicines. Now I am moving from one obsession to another and I am following some rituals. I constantly touch something, no matter where I am.
