I hate working for people
If I hate working for others what can I do? – JAWS Job Search
Work can be stressful and demanding. People are complex and intricate creatures. There’s every chance at some point in your life you are going to hate working for others. But what can you do about it? Let’s explore some ways to handle this potential situation.
If you find yourself in a position where you hate working with others you have to take ownership of the situation. You can’t rely on others to spot your frustrations; because not everyone is good at spotting those signals. But you can review your situation and decide what to do about it.
But how do you analyse your situation and what is the best course of action to take? Firstly, you need to try and examine the situation. Then you can start to make choices and take action. You’ll know when you reach the right course of action because it will allow you to achieve personal growth and make progress without cause unnecessary harm to others.
Analyse if your hate is justified
This element is really important, which is why it’s first on the list. It’s totally OK to feel hate. It’s a natural human emotion. The question is, is your hate misplaced? If you hate working for someone because they always remind you to get on with your work and be productive, because you are often on your phone or talking with other people about non-work related things and basically not working, then you probably can’t justify your hatred.
If however, you hate working for someone because they are always criticising you but not giving you praise when you do good things or you realise that the principles and values of the organisation don’t match your own or you realise that you are always having work dumped on you that could be shared with others, then maybe your hatred is absolutely justified and understandble.
But first, really take some time to explore your thoughts and feelings and make sure that your stance isn’t just an irrational emotional one that makes you look like you are being sulky.
Try and see things from their perspective
One of the other best places to start is to try and see things from the perspective of the other person or people involved. Maybe they hate working with you too? So, maybe the hate that they feel towards you is justified because of the way that you act. Maybe it is you that needs to change your attitude and behavior.
Or maybe not. Maybe you are genuinely being mistreated, disrespected, and taken advantage of. In which case you have every right to feel the way you feel.
The important thing is to establish a clear picture of who is doing what in the situation. Then you can establish whose behavior is unacceptable and who it is that needs to change and develop.
If you feel like the relationship you have with these people allows you to, then express your feelings in a conversation with them. Just ask them to give you some of their time to have a talk. In truth, a good leader and manager should frequently touch base with their staff and have mechanisms in place that allow them to gauge how happy their staff are.
If they don’t have that, then maybe that is the problem that you need to raise with them.
Get someone else to sit in and mediate the conversation
If you don’t feel like you can easily have a conversation with them then see if you can get someone else to sit in on the conversation. The smart thing to do here is have someone from Human Resources be that person; so go and speak to that department if your organisation has one.
If your organisation doesn’t have an HR department then ask another manager or perhaps a colleague to be present. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that then it might be time to just look at moving on. The worst thing you can do is stay put and allow yourself to stagnate.
Broaden your perspective. Explore terminology
One way to change the way you feel about the situation almost instantly is to explore who, or rather what, you actually work for.
Work for a cause with others. Not for others with a cause.
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It’s really important in any situation to recognise the language and terminology people are using. You can get a good sense of someone’s mindset and attitude just by picking up on the small details; which some people will see as not being important.
For example, does someone say “You work for me” or do they say “You work for JAWS Job Search” ? When someone refers to the mistakes of others do they say “I failed” “You failed” or “We failed” ? All these subtle differences give a reflection of someone’s attitude towards them-self and towards others.
If your organisation has a mission, vision, and values what are they? How are they constructed? Can you see what philosophy and culture that is being created just by acknowledging what words have been chosen to make it.
Photo by Monstera on Pexels.comGo self-employed and work for yourself
If you really hate working for others that much then maybe go self-employed.
But remember, depending on what it is you decide to do, in some ways even when you are self-employed you are actually working for other people. Whether you intend to provide a product or a service you are going to need customers. So, technically you kind of work for them. You need to keep them happy in order to get repeat business.
That said, obviously the main thing about being self-employed is that you get to make the big decisions.
So, you can define the way you want to work for or with your customers.
Find a job with more autonomy
If you don’t want to go self-employed, but find it difficult working for others, then one option could be to find a job that allows you to work more alone. Until you can get into a position where you can be a manager, you are probably going to have a manager; and unfortunately some managers are megalomaniacs who like to micromanage.
But if you get a job where managers have to leave you alone so you can do your job, then that could be one way around the problem of hating working for others.
Take a break
Take a break. Book some time off. Have a rest. Relax. Remove yourself from the situation for a little while. Do you really hate working for other people or do you just hate working for other people at this moment in time? Maybe your job and your role is what you’ve always wanted. Maybe you are working in the best environment for you. Maybe it’s just a phase.
When you come back, if after a few hours, days, or weeks you still find that you feel the same way then you absolutely have to start figuring out a new course of action.
Hate is a strong word, develop your emotional spectrum
Finally, hate is a really strong word. Especially if we are going to use a model that puts love and hate at the opposite ends of the same spectrum. If that’s the case then it would actually be the strongest word we could use to define how strongly we feel towards something. If so, then it’s worth exploring how to develop your emotional spectrum and emotional intelligence.
Start by adding to your vocabulary. Expand the palette of words you can use to describe something.
Maybe instead of hate you use:
Loathe
Despise
Detest
Dislike
Don’t care for
Maybe instead of hate something just:
Bothers you
Annoys you
Frustrates you
Niggles at you
Does your head in
Confuses you
Irritates you
There are infinite ways to look at any situation. You have to use your gut and your head and try and find a balance between the two. Once you’ve done that, you need to set a plan and continually pursue it.
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Sick of Working for Someone Else? Here are 3 Things You Must Do Before You Quit Your Job.
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By Nick Ruiz
Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.
If you're reading Entrepreneur and you're still working for someone else, there's a strong chance that you are sick of your current job. And that's OK. Your reason for being sick of it may be that you know you can be performing at a higher level doing what you're passionate about, but you're stuck in a rut in an unfilling position, and you're not sure how to branch out on your own.
ShutterstockIf you want to go out on your own, there are a few things you must do before you dive in head first:
1. Realize that hating your job does not automatically mean you should be an entrepreneur.Putting your own stake in the ground as an entrepreneur is one of the most freeing things you can do for yourself and takes you down a special path of personal development that nothing else could.
Related: 4 Reasons to Quit Your Job
That said, one issue I have noticed occurring in the workforce is employees think that if they hate working for someone else that means they're an entrepreneur at heart.
While this may be true in many cases, a lot of times it's not. Maybe you just don't like your boss or the company you work for. Maybe you are in a field that doesn't fulfill you like you thought it would. Maybe you are sick of all of the politics of the corporate world. The bottom line is that you need to assess a few more things before you confirm that starting your own business is the route for you.
After you've assessed your situation and realized that you're ready to become an, it's time to get things started for you. Everyone has a million ideas, but they are worthless when they are only sitting idle in someone's brain. They must be brought to fruition and that takes lots of consistent action. Remember, execution trumps all. Many times, the strength and persistence of the entrepreneur is much more powerful than the actual strength of the idea.
You need to quickly do a self-assessment and find out all of the things that you're good at and that you like to do.
One thing that I notice when talking with other entrepreneurs is that they take their skills for granted and assume it's common knowledge. In many instances, that is far from the case.
You have skills from your life experiences that you can start to build a business off of. And there is practically an infinite amount of people online that could be in the market to appreciate your skills and expertise -- and willing to pay something for them.
Related: Aspiring Entrepreneurs: Before You Quit Your Job, Do These 4 Things
If you start a business that's incongruent with your skillset but you want to get into because it sounds cool or sexy, you're going to end up in a mess and probably have to eventually go back to the drawing board. Avoid this by realizing what gaps you can help people fill: This is where people will give you money in exchange for your value.
If you think that you're drawn to a specific type of business but don't have much knowledge or skill in that area, get a mentor or coach who can guide you through it.
Devour as much education material as you can, so you can get your business going soon. Again, the key here is to make sure you take as much action as possible instead of staying in the permanent "learning phase."
I'm a huge fan of minimizing risk. So I always suggest people to start working on their business on nights and weekends before you go and quit your job.
I'm a real estate entrepreneur and house flipper, and I started doing this in my time outside of work hours in the beginning until the income replaced my job. Then I made the safe decision to quit and pursue the business full time. Once I was able to do that my business grew exponentially, because I had 40 more hours per week to dedicate to it.
Also by starting your business on the side, you'll make smart business decisions that make sense and not based on "fight or flight" psychology that occurs when you have no source of income.
That said, I will say there's something to having your back against the wall with no way out.
I was in that position during bankruptcy and it instilled a sense of urgency inside of me that made me take insane amounts of massive action in a short amount of time. I became financially independent very quickly after that, because I had no other choice.
So proceed with caution and think very carefully before you quit your job.
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Why don't I like my job? - Clearly on vc.
Clear
December 7, 2021 At the same time, the vast majority are not ready to do anything to find a more suitable job. Why is that? Why don't people like their job at all? We argue with the psychologist "Clearly", Nadezhda Kuzmina. nine00125458 views
Of course, the reasons can be very different: do not like colleagues, travel far, uncomfortable work schedule, boring tasks, your ideas are not listened to, company values are not close to you , and so on. Let's analyze just a few of them.
They chose
for meUnfortunately, for many, the choice of work is not quite their own choice. Parents from childhood try to guess our desires, unconsciously imposing their beliefs. Lack of understanding of our real desires and needs often leads to unloved work. nine0003
There is such a concept - "the child as a narcissistic extension of the parent.
" This means that the parent is not really interested in the child, does not see him as a separate person. Uses the child to realize their own expectations and ideas. From childhood, a false self is formed in a person, from where it can then be difficult to isolate the real self. You have to choose a job not because he likes it, but because it meets the expectations of the parent.
It happens that people choose work as a way to prove something (to the same parent). I can, I am worthy. There is a choice for evil. The psychological mechanisms are similar. It's not a choice based on one's own desires and their realization - that work that will bring pleasure - but a choice imposed from outside .
Although pleasure will sooner or later collide with the routine part of any work, the choice of work "for love" makes it possible to more easily endure this routine, boredom or lack of interest. The routine side will be compensated by the desire to develop in the chosen profession and learn something new.
![]()
Nadezhda Kuzmina,
psychoanalytically oriented therapist, psychologist Yasno
As a result of an imposed choice, a person finds himself where he does not want to be. A job, no matter how prestigious, never becomes a favorite.
Toxic Collective
Unhealthy atmosphere at work, of course, also does not contribute to positive emotions. We recently wrote about how to recognize a toxic boss. Dissatisfaction with superiors is one of the most common reasons for dismissals. And if it is impossible to quit for some reason, it turns out that a person is in an unloved job. nine0003
People often do not like their profession because of the way relationships develop in a team. Quite a large percentage of people quit their jobs at the slightest conflict. But some are afraid to openly confront (a similar fear is also, of course, associated with the child-parent scenario) and will masochistically endure and endure the harsh psychological treatment of the boss for fear of saying something.
They will do the work, but they will not love.
Nadezhda Kuzmina, psychoanalytically oriented therapist, Yasno psychologist
Lack of meaning
Some people don't like their job because they don't see the point in it. The phenomenon of bullshit jobs has been well described by anthropologist David Graeber. First of all, this concerns office, “intellectual” work.
“The worst part of the job is when it's already done and you still have to pretend to be busy with it. Work must have results, and work without results is violence against people. And now you understand that there are people who go through the whole working day like this! They never paint the house, they just have to pretend to work. Must pretend." nine0003
(David Graeber interviewed)
If there are any positive consequences of the coronavirus pandemic, then perhaps one of them is that people have become somewhat less engaged in “crazy work”.
Many have started working from home, there is less external control and more opportunities to go about your business if there are no work tasks at the moment - and not just sit and pretend that you are working.
Internal conflict
nine0002 It happens that a person develops idealistic ideas about what his work should be. And then the collision with reality is likely to lead to disappointment. After all, no job is pure pleasure.If at the same time it is not possible to quit work, since it satisfies our basic needs, allows us to “feed our family”, internal conflict (I would leave, but circumstances do not allow) will undermine us, deprive us of strength, cause discontent and irritation. Such unproductive stress, chronic irritation psychologists call distress . It can eventually cause to burn out .
Nadezhda Kuzmina, psychoanalytically oriented therapist, Yasno psychologist
Quitting work and thinking about what a person really wants is often hindered by inner fear and social pressure — the requirement to “be a good husband” or “a good mother”, have a prestigious job, and earn good money.
Another common type of internal conflict is perfectionism , excessive demands on yourself. A person is never satisfied with the result, it seems to him that he can do even better or that other people would do better. As a result, he is doomed to a constant race, "search for the Grail in his own head." A perfectionist can never stop and say, "Job done well enough." In this case, the work will cause resistance, a feeling of dislike.
Whatever the reason for the negative attitude to work, it is important to realize as early as possible that the profession should bring joy to you personally. Psychotherapy will help to distinguish your own desires from those imposed and find a job to your liking. nine0003
What if I hate my job? Psychologist answers
Reason and feelings
Adriana Imzh
December 8, 2016 15:15
Afisha Daily continues to ask psychotherapist Adriana Imzh questions about relationships with oneself, people around and the world.
This time we figure out what to do if you hate your job, but depend on it financially.
The situation is a stalemate, of course. But let's try to figure it out.
Surprisingly, attitudes towards work also have a cultural connotation. In different cultures, work is treated differently: in Spain, in Israel, in the USA and in other countries, many people love their work and go to it with pleasure, rather upset if there is no work. nine0107 It has to do with goals and values.
In Russia, children are rarely explained why work is needed and why it is valuable. Why it is good to work, for example, as a baker or a carpenter. Much more often, children are oriented either simply to financial success, or to some positions associated with power or social prestige: bosses, doctors, financiers, lawyers. Therefore, adults often suffer from the fact that their expectations and goals are not realized in work. In countries where it is simply important that you work and benefit people, there are fewer people who are disappointed with work.
nine0003
It is important to ask yourself: why do I hate my job? I don't like the people I communicate with? I don't like what I'm doing? Did I expect that I would lead a different lifestyle at my age? I came into this profession to do one thing, but I have to do something completely different?
And it seems important to me to start with the fact that many of us lack respect for our work. Am I doing something, is it not a criminal offense and is generally aimed at improving life (mine or other people's)? I'm fine fellow. It's already work. Maybe not the best, but valuable. At least for me. Yes, there are certainly people who earn more than me and live more interesting, richer, better, more comfortable. But my work is important. If I don't respect him, what can I expect from others? nine0003
The second problem is relationships between people. Quite often, relations in teams are not very pleasant, there are many negative assessments, competition, sluggish conflicts can smolder for years.
Corporate activity and team building are most often perceived with aggression and resistance - there is no desire to recognize colleagues, imbue them and interact. But this is a very important point - people spend many hours in a team, and at least one friendly colleague with whom you can have lunch and chat near the kettle significantly relieves psychologically. nine0003
Sometimes there is a lack of someone in the collectives who could be friendly to everyone, organize activities, hikes, events - just such that everyone would have fun. You can become such a person (if you want, of course).
If not at all, methods of psychological relief help: draw comics about your crazy serpentarium or write stories, publish a wall newspaper - even if only for yourself, support colleagues in battles against each other, mentally placing bets on who will win. Mental distancing from the process of unpleasant actions or communications significantly reduces the level of irritation. nine0003
When there is a discrepancy between what I do and what I would like to do, in some cases it helps to go to school - either to improve my qualifications or to get a new profession.
This, firstly, gives hope for a change in the current situation, and secondly, it allows you to do something new and interesting. When in painting classes someone says: “Lord, how tired I am of working as a physics teacher!” - there will surely be someone who will sympathize and support, while in the school teacher's room it is much more likely to hear - "We are all tired, and nothing - we are silent." nine0003
Several times I have had to work with blue-collar workers with very good leadership and organizational skills. But the team pulled them back - and they needed my help and support so that they decided to study and move on - to more complex, well-paid and interesting positions.
It is not easy to answer the question “What are you doing there, studying? Do you think you're smarter than us?" find the correct answer or refuse to go drinking with the guys on Friday night because you have an exam tomorrow. Nevertheless, it was study that helped people at least say to themselves: “Yes, I am smarter than them and think more about my tomorrow, so it is important for me to pass this exam.
” nine0003
It is very important to ask for more support from friends and family. Of course, it happens that things are not very good with their work either - some of my clients said with amazement that they, in principle, did not meet people who like their work. One of the girls in the group was amazed to find that she was the only one there who did not like her work - in her childhood and among her family members, work was a horror story that required sacrifice and suffering. For her, finding people who love their work and go to it with pleasure was already a powerful incentive to start doing something to change their situation, because if an interesting job is not a utopia, but a real thing, then it makes sense to look for it. nine0003
Nevertheless, if I manage to convey to my relatives that I do not like my job, but now I have to go to it and therefore I need additional support, this can also help a lot. When another person next to you says: “I understand that you don’t like it, but you keep the whole family afloat” or “I sympathize with you, I hope the crisis in your area will end soon and you can find something new,” live becomes more fun.
