How to overcome being an introvert

Look for ways you can make your quiet trait work to your advantage in your personal and professional life.

For instance, being an introvert might help you in your therapy or social worker career as listening to others comes naturally to you.

What you think of yourself and doing the right thing for yourself is more important than other’s opinions.

While nothing is wrong with needing some quality time alone, make sure you don’t end up rudely pushing people away if they’re simply trying to start conversations.

If body language and subtle hints don’t work, you might have to be blunt.

Make more effort to give your loved ones attention and let them know that you’re thinking about them.

Even when you can’t spend so much time with them, a card, or an email, or liking and commenting on their Facebook posts can go a long way.

Related: How To Be Gentle With Yourself? Top 5 Ways To Practice Self-Compassion

Introverts are usually emotionally drained after spending a lot of time in social situations.

This is why being aware of what overstimulates you and finding out what you can do to deal with the exhaustion is crucial.

Overstimulation might include, lots of noise in the background, such as a radio or loud music, social interactions, sales calls, meetings, caffeine, etc.

Once you understand what exhausts you, you’ll be able to find a better way to respond to these triggers.

Introverts draw their energy from their internal world and require this energy to function in the external world.

This is why it’s important to refuel regularly.

Taking regular breaks throughout the day helps you recharge and prevent exhaustion.

Enjoy quality “me time” without feeling guilty about it. This time is one way to show yourself love.

You can use that time to take a bath, watch a movie, read a book, play instruments, write, etc.

Related: Take Care of Yourself: (26 Simple Self-Care Practices for a Healthy Mind, Body & Soul)

Another misconception about introverts is that they lack confidence.

And while there are unconfident introverts and extroverts, introversion in and of itself isn’t an indication that someone lacks confidence.

The reason behind this misconception is the fact that people don’t distinguish between feeling confident and looking confident.

A confident introvert often looks very different than a confident extrovert.

Most people assume that a confident person is someone who demonstrates an outgoing behavior. But this is not always the case, a woman who boldly gets up and dances on a table might simply be drunk and not confident.

A confident introvert is someone who has nothing to prove to others and doesn’t need to be the most outgoing person in the room.

Quietness isn’t a weakness. It can actually be a strength.

In fact, people respect those who listen and only speak when they have helpful insights to provide. They’re considered wise.

But if you think you struggle in this area, here’s how you can overcome it and build confidence.

Many barriers could keep you from being confident in yourself, such as:

• Childhood issues (unsupportive, critical parents, being bullied, etc)
• Fear of failure or rejection
• Negative self-talk
• Worrying too much about what others think
• Not taking responsibility for your own choices
• Etc.

Talking to a psychologist might help you find out the reasons behind your lack of confidence, but keeping a journal also help you uncover underlying issues.

Think back to a recent occurrence when you felt a lack of confidence and ask yourself:

What were you afraid of? Did the event remind you of an event from the past? Did the idea of being outgoing trigger any painful memories?

Understanding the reasons behind your lack of confidence can help you figure out the right thing to do to overcome them.

The best way to build confidence is to gradually expose yourself to the situations you fear.

The simplest way to push the boundaries of your confidence is to expose yourself regularly to social situations with strangers.

Create a habit of striking up a conversation with at least one person every day, until the idea of meeting new people seems perfectly natural.

3. Remind Yourself Of Your Positive Qualities

Keep a “feel good journal” where you write down your positive qualities, your achievements, compliments you received, thank you letters you received, etc. and use this journal to refer to when you start doubting your worth.

When you find yourself thinking about a recent failure or rejection, catch yourself from spiraling downward by reminding yourself of other achievements.

A supportive group such as Toastmasters and other similar groups can help improve your public speaking skills, which in order helps reduce your social anxiety and boost your confidence.

Related: Building Self-Confidence: How To Gain Confidence Quickly And Improve Your Self-Esteem?

Getting up the nerve to strike a conversation with a stranger isn’t not enough, you need to also know how to engage in small talk.

Many introverts would convince themselves that small talk is too superficial, in order to justify not trying to engage in one.

However, small talk is a social ritual that’s a normal part of everyday life.

Networking, meeting new people and building meaningful friendships, all start with small talk.

Here is a list of things that can help you get started.

Asking the other person about their interests or background will help them open up to you and they probably will end up doing most of the talking.

However, don’t be afraid to talk about yourself and share similar experiences so you can find common ground.

If you notice things you like, don’t hold yourself from sharing your observation.

Everyone loves a compliment. But make sure to be genuine.

Related: How To Make Anyone Like You In 90 Minutes Or Less

While you might not have hundreds of acquaintances and casual friendships, you still can have a small group of close friends with whom you develop meaningful relationships.

Different personalities and goals for relationships can lead to conflict, especially in relationships between introverts and extroverts.

The following strategies will help you not only improve the quality of your relationships, but to also enhance any future connections you make:

Make sure you communicate your needs directly to the other person, such as your need for space and time alone, as to not offend the other person when you have to retreat to “recharge your batteries”.

Healthy boundaries aren’t intended to push people away. They are there to keep a relationship healthy.

For introverts, setting these boundaries might mean letting the other person know that, although they enjoy their company, they need some time alone from time to time.

Bring balance into your relationships by engaging more in outgoing activities that will nurture your relationships.

Some relationships can draining, particularly if the other person seems bent on tearing you down.

Let go of such relationships and use your renewed energy to nurture the relationships that really matter to you.

If you can’t let go of the toxic relationship (family member, coworker, boss, etc.) you might need to avoid this person as much as you can.

Related: How to Firmly Establish and Enforce Healthy Emotional Boundaries?

Team work has become inevitable in many workplaces.

Many companies now have open-concept offices and team-building exercises.

Such environment might cause a lot of anxiety and, in many cases, result in lower performance from and less recognition of introverts.

This is why learning team work skill can help boost your career.

Let everyone in a meeting or group setting know that you best ideas and answers might come after the meeting and agree on a way to follow up with the decision-maker afterwards.

This will help reduce your feeling of being ‘under pressure’ to speak up right then and there.

Team projects might involve certain activities that could be done alone, such as editing, proofreading, etc.

Use these activities to have some time for yourself while contributing to the team efforts.

Introverts are people who need time for themselves to refuel as they do not gain their primary energy from external activities.

But that doesn’t make them self-absorbed loners. Nor are they necessarily antisocial or shy.

Resources

• Portions of this article were adapted from the book The Introvert Advantage, © February 2002 by Marti Laney. All rights reserved.

• Portions of this article were adapted from the book Confident You: An Introvert’s Guide to Success in Life and Business, © July 15, 2015 by Rebecca Livermore and S. J. Scott. All rights reserved.

• 8 Signs You’re an Introvert (verywellmind.com)
• Signs of an Introvert Personality: Types, Traits & Characteristics (webmd.com)
• What Is an Introvert? Personality, Characteristics, and More (healthline.com)
• Introvert Definition & Meaning – Merriam-Webster
• Introversion | Psychology Today
• What Is an Introvert? Definition & Guide to Introversion (introvertdear.com)
• The 4 Types Of Introverts: Traits, Habits & Dating Tips | mindbodygreen
• Extraversion and introversion – Wikipedia
• The Surprising Benefits of Being an Introvert | Time
• What is a an introvert? How to tell if you are introverted (medicalnewstoday.com)
• Frontiers | Introversion and Social Engagement: Scale Validation, Their Interaction, and Positive Association With Self-Esteem (frontiersin.org)
• Introversion and Social Engagement: Scale Validation, Their Interaction, and Positive Association With Self-Esteem – PMC (nih. gov)
• Introverts Actually Understand People Way Better Than Extroverts Do, Yale Study Shows | Inc.com

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How to stop being an Introvert

Being an introvert is not a decision a person makes overnight; it is first a personality that can be caused by factors that include the environment and upbringing of a person.

The problem in society is that people judge introverts as being shy, socially anxious, or overly reserved.
While this trait comes with its advantages, it also has its downsides, and we will be looking at how to find that perfect balance.

Signs of an Introvert

It’s easy to know an introvert when you see one. Look out for these common signs, and you most likely would not be wrong.

Likewise, if you are still not sure whether you are an introvert or not, these signs could clear your doubts.

When you get tired easily in a social gathering.

Do social gatherings bore you?

Don’t get it wrong, introverts also ‘like’ to be among people, but they always feel more comfortable with close friends and family. When an introvert is in a gathering of unfamiliar people, there’s a tendency to feel nervous, tired, or reserved unless they have to contribute.

Love of privacy

Do you prefer to read books in a private/lone room, take walks in a quiet environment and spend time alone in the room? Introverts love their privacy, and that’s a sign!

Other personality traits of an introvert include:

• They take time before making a decision.
• Introverts prefer to write down their thoughts rather than talk about them.
• Introverts are not as excited about group tasks.
• They are more comfortable being alone.
• Introverts are self-conscious
• They concentrate better in quiet places.

If these signs best describe you and you’d like to learn how to break free, these next tips will help.

These 5 points will help you overcome being an introvert

1. Talk to at least 4-5 strangers daily

Most ex-introverts have taken this challenge when trying to reduce or break free from their old way of life, and it still works to date.

Practice going out each day and talking at length to 4-5 strangers, not friends.

This might seem difficult at first, so you can do this at least 3-4 times every week till you have built enough courage to talk to someone new every day.

It’s okay to practice a list of general questions like “telling them your name and asking for theirs, giving general compliments, etc.” You will be amazed at the results.

2. Take up the challenge of speaking in front of all

Public speaking is a big challenge most people face, but introverts have a higher tendency to avoid it entirely.
Sometimes you’ll hear public speakers share their experiences of how they dreaded talking to groups of people but had to practice till it became second nature. You can do the same!

You can start by deciding to address your colleagues at work or school when the opportunity presents itself. You could even plan to host an outdoor event and put your name down as the speaker for the day.
Create these opportunities or look out for them; they’ll help you overcome the shyness that naturally accompanies being an introvert.

3. Practice in front of the mirror

After you have made up your mind to speak in front of others, it’s time to practice for your big day: Stand in front of the mirror and recite your speech, imagine your audience in front of you, and you can even imitate how you’ll ask and answer their questions.

Before you leave, you can also do the following:

• Correct your posture (chin up and stand tall)
• Speak with confidence and practice talking clearly.

4. Be open to attending get-togethers or meetups

This is a challenge you should take seriously. Honor the invites from your friends (old or new), family, colleagues, or business associates, especially when it doesn’t affect your morals and faith adversely.

It could be your opportunity to meet someone new and free yourself up some more. Don’t be quick to decline!

5. Start from your house

If you already seclude yourself while at home, that’s the perfect place to begin before you set out to speak to strangers.

You can start with these tips:

• Take active participation in the activities at home.
• Initiate a discussion with your loved ones on a subject you know they’ll be interested in.
• Practice voicing your views more often. Don’t always think your opinion is insignificant or irrelevant.
• Listen actively to your loved ones

Introverts generally have a hard time relating to those around them, as they prefer to be left alone. But if you practice these tips, you’ll overcome the challenges that most introverts deal with and live a free and exciting life.

How to stop being an introvert and learn how to communicate freely

Everyone can develop communication skills.

Nowadays, communication skills are one of the most socially approved qualities. All doors are open to sociable people, they succeed and move up the career ladder faster than their shy competitors. But what about those who are by nature closed and silent? Accept your fate or try to turn the tide? Read on to learn how to stop being an introvert and start talking freely with people.

Contents

Is it possible to become an extrovert if you are an introvert? It begins to manifest itself in infancy. And this means that a person will have to live with her for the rest of his life.

But do not rush to get upset, there is good news. The human psyche is very plastic. With the right approach, it easily adapts to any conditions. An introvert can learn to behave like an extrovert and feel comfortable doing so. But subject to certain conditions.

How to smooth out introverted traits: 12 tips

The key difference between an introvert and an extrovert is that he has a more sensitive nervous system. The same stimuli evoke reactions of different strength in representatives of these two psychotypes. What an extrovert may not even notice, in an introvert provokes a strong excitation in the nervous system.

Naturally, this is a serious burden for her. For each reaction, a certain amount of energy is expended, the reserves of which are not unlimited. A person quickly gets tired of the abundance of external stimuli and feels the need to be alone. Communication is the most energy-consuming activity for him, so he tries to avoid it.

If you learn how to correctly distribute and replenish energy reserves, then communication will not be so painful for an introvert. But there is another stumbling block. Due to the lack of communication, representatives of this psychotype have poorly developed communication skills. At the initial stage, this will seriously interfere.

Thus, we will have to work in two directions:

• learn to use internal resources wisely;
• train communication skills.

Embrace your uniqueness

The first step is to accept that you are not going to be an extrovert in the full sense of the word. Applying all the suggested tips, you will remain an introvert, but more socially oriented and open. It will become easier for you to get to know people, you will no longer experience awkwardness in communication, learn to speak confidently and calmly.

This is enough to feel comfortable in the modern world. But keep in mind - the need to be alone from time to time is not going anywhere. This is your way to recharge the internal battery. Therefore, do not demand the impossible from yourself, but gently adapt to your own characteristics.

Dose communication

An extrovert can communicate day and night without a break and not feel tired. An introvert will not be able to pull off such a trick due to the peculiarities of his nervous system. He needs to learn to control the quality and quantity of communication.

Here are some rules that an introvert should follow.

1. Minimize empty and meaningless communication - it only takes energy and does not bring any benefit.
2. Do not waste time talking to people who are unpleasant and uninteresting to you.
3. If you have an important meeting during the day, don't waste your energy. Refrain from other, less important communication.
4. Learn to politely and tactfully refuse to communicate with people so that they do not get offended. Tell them about your features.
5. If in the process of communication you are very tired, do not torture yourself. Refer to important matters and leave the meeting early.

Of course, these rules can be frustrating for introverts. But there is no getting away from them. Think about what is better - to be constantly tortured and dull conversationalist or cheerful and energetic, but with limitations? I think the answer is obvious.

Get out of your comfort zone

Introverts' comfort zone is usually very narrow and cramped. If it were their will, they would not leave the house at all. We need to slowly expand it.

Begin to regularly overcome small fears. For example, asking passersby for directions on the street or joking with friends. When these actions cease to cause discomfort, move on to more complex ones - and so on increasing.

Just do it regularly. If at any point you stop, you will roll back and have to start over.

Take acting or improv classes

This is advice for those who want to get results as quickly as possible. Such courses allow you to pump several qualities at once that are lame in introverts: self-confidence, the gift of eloquence, the ability to present yourself.

In addition, the learning process itself is exciting and interesting. You will find new friends with whom you can then practice the acquired skills.

Make friends with extroverts

Friendship between an introvert and an extrovert is quite possible. Moreover, they complement each other perfectly. An extrovert finds an attentive and grateful listener in the person of an introvert, and an extrovert helps an introvert fill life with vivid emotions.

Another indisputable plus of friendship with an extrovert is the opportunity to expand the social circle. Extroverts have many friends and acquaintances. They can become your friends too.

Ask a sociable friend to invite you to various parties and events more often. In the company of a friend, you will be more comfortable. You will hone your communication skills.

Learn to speak beautifully

The speech of introverts is not expressive. It is difficult for them to immediately formulate thoughts, and sometimes there is simply no time to think. Therefore, they are embarrassed, lost, make long pauses in the conversation.

I clearly remember moments when, in the middle of a story, all thoughts literally disappeared from my head. I did not know what to say next, and to fill the awkward pause, I began to talk some kind of nonsense. After that, I was covered with a wave of shame and embarrassment.

Such problems are solved by regular practice. Practice your speech while alone. I suggest that you do this exercise every day: find some interesting fact on the Internet, read it several times, and then retell it to yourself. Repeat the whole process several times until you get nice and easy.

You can also enroll in public speaking courses. Experienced mentors will help you improve your diction and articulation, get rid of clips and learn to speak confidently.

Team up with like-minded people

If there are other introverts in your environment, invite them to work on the problem together. Two or three is much more effective. Give each other tasks to develop communication skills. For example, getting to know someone, giving a presentation at a seminar, singing karaoke in a restaurant, etc.

In case of failure, you can support each other. And in general, the collective spirit helps a lot in situations associated with fear.

Take up new hobbies.

Get involved in something that involves interacting with other people. You can enroll in a sports section, assemble a team and go play intellectual games, join a tourist club. There you willy-nilly have to overcome embarrassment and learn to interact with people.

According to psychologists, it is much easier to communicate about a common cause than about abstract topics. You will not need to look for points of contact with a person - you already have them.

Do spontaneous things

Introverts prefer to live according to a predetermined plan. There is nothing wrong. But sometimes the brain needs to be shaken up. So he will learn to better adapt to circumstances.

Set aside at least one weekend a month when you will live in obedience to your inner impulses. No plans, no obligations. Wake up in the morning, ask yourself what you want to do - and go ahead. The more unusual and unexpected your classes are, the better.

At first, your brain will resist and convince you that this is all nonsense. But you stand your ground. After a while, he will come to terms and begin to enjoy the process.

Go to crowded places

Strong introverts do not feel comfortable in crowded places. They love quiet, calm companies where you can relax and be yourself. But if you constantly avoid visiting crowded places, they will soon become an additional factor that provokes stress. Even something as simple as going to the grocery store will start to feel uncomfortable.

So give up the avoidance strategy. Start going with friends to exhibitions, concerts, and other social events. Try to find the advantages of such a pastime. Since you have decided to learn how to behave as an extrovert, you will have to try on his skin.

Just avoid overworking. Remember that your nervous system is overly excitable, so the fuss and noise quickly exhaust it. Leave a crowded place before you start to feel tired.

Share your feelings with others

Introverts tend to be very reserved people. They feel their emotions deep inside. Because of this, others may consider them callous and indifferent, although this is far from the case. On the contrary, they are very subtle and sensitive natures.

Learn to express your emotions openly. Don't worry about what others think of you. Most often, it is the fear of judgment that prevents introverts from opening up to the world. Laugh when you are funny, cry when you are sad, do not hide your negative emotions - everyone has the right to experience them sometimes.

If it is still difficult for you to express your feelings non-verbally, start saying them. Tell loved ones more often how much you love them, talk about your experiences, express your opinion about current events.

Invite friends to your home

Home is the most comfortable place for an introvert. It is much easier to overcome embarrassment and fear of communication on your own territory. So start having parties or at least quiet gatherings with friends at your home. As a host, you will be able to steer the communication process - suggest topics for discussion, games, movies to watch.

You can go even further and organize themed meetings at home. For example, book club meetings, intellectual quizzes, collaborative language courses.

Conclusion

We found out that an introvert cannot become an extrovert. But this does not mean that people of this psychotype are doomed to suffer from loneliness and always be in the shadow of more sociable comrades. You can develop the qualities of extroverts and successfully apply them in life. But we must not forget about our natural features and deny them.

Introverts, would you like to be an extrovert? Personally, I would never change my psychotype for another, even despite certain problems in communication. Read also our article “How to stop being shy”.

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Is it embarrassing for a girl to be an introvert? I am an experienced introvert.

Ashamed to be a girl ...

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Only recently I started to openly speak and admit to myself that I am an introvert. All my life I thought it was something shameful. She believed that an introvert is a downtrodden, closed, strange, withdrawn person. And I definitely have features of introversion - I listen more than I speak, I don’t like empty chatter about anything, I get tired of such conversations. I often reflect, I am prone to self-flagellation, I always think about something, I am suspicious (I consider all these to be minuses). Most of the time, I seem to be “not here”, but in my thoughts, or “on my own wave” - even when communicating with a person. Sometimes I feel embarrassed and tense. I'm also a Virgo :)

I have been working in the new team for 3 months. We have about 30 people. I communicate with everyone a little, gradually developed a closer trusting relationship with 1 girl and 2 guys. With the rest - at the level of hello, how are you, what's new? Today at lunch, I said that I am an introvert, and the extrovert guy from our department confirmed: “Yes, you are an introvert. I feel like I get that impression." And he himself loves to chat about nothing, and looks like a grimacing monkey.

And these words aroused anxiety in my soul and, rather, unpleasant feelings... Now I think that from the outside I seem to people closed, uncommunicative... (they said this before). I am often silent in the office, doing my job, I do not support the general chatter. On the other hand, the other 3 employees like a selection, they like to fray, including the boss. But - if one of those who is nice to me drops in on us, I communicate with pleasure, laugh. So who am I - an introvert or still not quite?

Is it embarrassing to be an introvert? Are there sociable introverts? For some reason, I'm offended that they consider me an introvert. Introvert - as defective. Also, I don't really like people. I do not trust them, I expect a dirty trick and condemnation. Parents, by the way, criticized a lot in childhood.

Oct 21, 2014 9:17 PM

51 replies

Last - December 03, 2015, 03:11 Go to

October 21, 2014, 21:29

#2

October 21, 2014, 21:32

#4

4 October 21, 2014, 21:33

#5

October 21, 2014, 21:33

#6 #6

October 21, 2014, 21:34

#7

October 21, 2014, 21:36

#8

What a boring, boring, uninteresting obviously nobody. You don’t even understand who introverts are and for some reason you clearly mistakenly refer yourself to them. Read at your leisure, or something. Although this is unlikely to help you.

October 21, 2014, 21:42

#10

October 21, 2014, 21:43

#11

October 21, 2014, 21:44

#12

90EAL 2014, 21:45

#13

October 21, 2014, 21:45

#14

Guest

words you could not why did you roll this sheet??? a bunch of unnecessary details. you are boring d--u=ra. don't flatter yourself, well, what's the mind ......

Oct 21, 2014 9:48 PM

#16

Oct 21, 2014 9:51 PM

#17

where is guest

? you're also a crazy d-ur-a. don't go to work in vangi

October 21, 2014, 21:53

#18

October 21, 2014, 21:57

#19

#19

90 I don't need a lot of communication.

October 21, 2014, 10:01 pm

#20

You are similar to asthenic nature, intranius in the kit)

October 21, 2014, 22:07

#22

October 21, 2014, 22:17

October 21, 2014, 10:21 pm

#24

Guest

where is the aggression? you're also a crazy d-ur-a. don't go to work in the vangi

I'm good. But not everyone understands this. In general, from the outside it looks like unmotivated aggression. "))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

October 21, 2014, 22:29

#25

October 21, 2014, 22:32

#26

October 21, 2014, 22:34

#27

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• October 21, 2014, 23:43

  #31

  Blue blizzard

  It really turned out pretty boring :( I had to shorten it 3 times. In general, I depend on the opinions of others, sadness

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22 October 2014 00:440002 #33

October 22, 2014, 01:07

#34

October 22, 2014, 03:48

#35

October 2014, 04:34

#36000

In message 35 everything is excellent and detailed, listen.

October 22, 2014 10:42 am

#37

Blue Blizzard

Is it embarrassing to be an introvert? Are there sociable introverts? For some reason, I'm offended that they consider me an introvert. Introvert - as defective. Also, I don't really like people. I do not trust them, I expect a dirty trick and condemnation. Parents, by the way, criticized a lot in childhood.

October 22, 2014, 11:31

#38

October 22, 2014, 11:47

#39

October 22, 2014, 12:28

908 9 2014, 13:16

#41

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October 22, 2014, 03:00 PM

#42

Blue Blizzard

And yes - I have an analytical mind :)

Author, if I answer your question "Is it a shame for a girl to be an introvert?" yes, what will you do?

October 22, 2014, 5:28 p. m. October 22, 2014 07:29 PM

#47

#47

Introvert

And if you answer the question itself, then it's a shame to depend on the opinions of others, it's only forgivable for children and teenagers.

October 23, 2014, 10:07 am

#48

Blue Blizzard

So who am I - an introvert or is it not quite? Is it embarrassing to be an introvert? Are there sociable introverts? For some reason, I'm offended that they consider me an introvert. Introvert - as defective. Also, I don't really like people. I do not trust them, I expect a dirty trick and condemnation. Parents, by the way, criticized a lot in childhood.

So, Author, you will meet your man who will find your introversion attractive!

October 23, 2014, 10:44

#49

23 October 2014, 15:43

#50

ago

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