How to get unghosted
Understanding Why You’ve Been Ghosted
Rejection stings, especially when you have no idea what went wrong. So, we polled experts on the most common reasons for ghosting.
Breadcrumbing. Benching. The slow fade. These days, there’s more than one way that people signal their disinterest in someone they’re dating or talking to. But perhaps the most painful of all? Ghosting.
Maybe you felt sure there was a spark between you two, or they showered you with attention and affection, and now all you hear is crickets.
While ghosting may hurt (a lot), it doesn’t have to leave you powerless. By learning why people do it and how to respond with grace, you can recover and move on.
Research shows that 13% to 23% of people have been ghosted in the United States.
There are many reasons why being ghosted may have happened to you, but chances are that you weren’t talking to a cruel, uncaring person — they simply lacked the skills to be upfront.
“If you’ve been ghosted, it is more than likely not about you,” says Dr. Lori Lawrenz, a licensed clinical psychologist in Honolulu, Hawaii.
Ghosting people is a coping mechanism, she explains. “It’s often done as a psychological tool to protect the one who is ghosting. Often, it’s a shortcut to avoid difficult relational dynamics.”
There’s no single reason why people ghost, which can make it all the more irritating. Here are a few reasons why it may have happened.Convenience of technology
With every new technology, there’s a cost. But it’s hard to remember that when we’re presented with an abundance of connections right at our fingertips.
Digital access at all times can make us forget that there are real people on the other end. Using our devices as a shield, we become desensitized and do things that we normally wouldn’t — like leaving someone high and dry.
It’s as if we’ve commercialized the dating experience, not unlike going to the grocery store and deciding between an infinite variety of kombuchas. When we pick up one we don’t like, we put it back without explanation, then move on to the next one. We’ve lost our sense of formality.
Research calls this the “gamification” of relationships — that is, viewing relationships as having the rules, points, and the impersonal interface of a game.Fear of hurting you
“Common reasons people ghost each other are not feeling a chemistry or connection and not being able to communicate that due to fear of hurting the person’s feelings,” says Hannah Tishman, a licensed clinical social worker in New York City, New York.Low emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the wisdom to apply different emotional responses in nuanced situations using empathy. Those with low EQ may have a hard time understanding how their actions hurt you.Emotional unavailability due to a mental health condition
Those who live with depression may feel like they lack the energy to maintain connections. They may self-isolate and avoid contact with others, causing them to cut off the relationship abruptly.
Those who live with bipolar disorder may increase contact during a high mood and ghost during a low mood.
People living with avoidant personality disorder crave connection, but when relationships are new, an internal push-pull based on an intense fear of judgment and rejection can cause them to stay away. This isn’t something you can change through reassurance or charm — it requires therapy to manage.
Trauma can also be a factor, says Dr. Holly Schiff, a licensed clinical psychologist based in Greenwich, Connecticut.
“They may be processing a trauma and still recovering,” she says. “Part of the trauma response is the inability to feel a full range of emotions and a diminished sense of self.”Overwhelm
Someone who experiences anxiety may worry about the outcome of the relationship and cut it off without warning because that feels safer.Low self-esteem
If someone doesn’t believe they deserve someone like you, they may self-sabotage.
You can take a deeper dive on the link between self-sabotage and self-esteem issues here.Insecure attachment style
If your love interest has a fearful-avoidant attachment style, they may oscillate between wanting intimacy and avoiding it when you start to get too close.
“The avoidant attachment style tends to go into ‘turtle mode’ and enter their shell, which can be manifested as ghosting behavior,” Lawrenz says. “This can be a protective means of guarding their heart.”Social differences
Some other mental health conditions are associated with lowered empathy or reduced ability to pick up on social cues.
This can make it difficult for someone to understand how to properly discontinue contact with you or communicate if you both want different things. Some of these conditions include:
- alexithymia, a personality trait where logic overrides emotions
- antisocial personality disorder (what some refer to as sociopathy or psychopathy)
- borderline personality disorder
- narcissistic personality disorder
In addition, people who’ve been diagnosed with symptoms of autism spectrum disorder may have a harder time knowing how to end a relationship.
Relationship woes? Our advice columnist wants to hear from you!
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Know that you’re allowed to take the high road, even if they can’t meet you there.
What to say to someone who’s ghosted you
The best ghosting responses are honest ones. To get closure, you may find it healing to stand up for yourself.
If communication is slowing down, try texting this:How to avoid being ghosted
Dealing with being ghosted can make you question yourself. While it’s probably not about you, it’s still a good idea to check in and take an honest inventory of how you show up with others.
The next time you meet someone, you may find it helpful to try:
- taking good care of yourself
- asking thoughtful questions
- being upfront about your expectations
- learning about your attachment type
- making more in-person plans
- becoming familiar with your love language
- pacing the early part of the relationship
- decluttering your relationship queue
Tips to handle being ghosted
It may hurt for a little while, but remember that you’ll get through this. Here are some tips to help along the way:Face reality
It looks like this person isn’t giving you what you need. It can help immensely to accept that fact rather than to add more to the story by ruminating, rationalizing, or excusing behavior.Allow your feelings
No matter what you feel, it’s all valid. You may find it helpful to cry it out, journal, scream into a pillow, write a “spew letter” (then trash it!), or call a friend to vent.Amp up your self-care
Now would be a good time to indulge in a bubble bath, take it out on the green and golf, or dive into that movie you’ve been wanting to see.Avoid dwelling
“For some people, ghosting can create a shame spiral, where we question if we’re good enough or worthy and may ruminate on past conversations and scenarios with the ghoster,” says Sara Makin, a licensed professional counselor in Pittsburg, Pennsylvania.
“Remember, it’s not about you,” she says. “It is all about their lack of capacity for close, intimate relationships.”Don’t contact them
If it’s been a couple of weeks and you’ve tried one last message to clear the air without hearing anything back, it’s time to stop reaching out and let go.Talk with someone
“If you are struggling to cope, reach out to a mental health professional,” says Makin. “There could be more underlying these feelings, such as an abandonment wound from childhood or a past relationship.”Don’t isolate yourself
“Don’t be scared to get back out there,” says Schiff. “Don’t let this deter you from dating again. You’re a great person, and the right person will see all that you have to offer.”
Need a pick-me-up? Here’s another take on handling being ghosted and unlearning your own ghosting tendencies.
Getting ghosted is probably not about you, but it sure can feel like it.
There are dozens of reasons someone may have ghosted you, from a lack of communication skills to a mental health condition.
“If someone is not going to give you the time of day to discuss how they’re feeling, then this person is probably not someone you actually want to be with,” says Tishman.
“It’s important to have direct and clear communication in forming a relationship — and ghosting is a red flag on that person’s part,” Tishman adds.
Try this mantra on for size: Rejection is just redirection.
How To Get Someone Who Ghosted You To Respond
It happened: You were ghosted.
It's one of the worst feelings in the world, and it's not so easy to move on when you feel like you weren't even treated with the common decency of an adult conversation.
Ghosting doesn't feel good as it is, but if you thought you had a genuine connection with the person, it can be even worse. You likely feel devastated, confused, and rejected.
You might be considering texting the person who ghosted you — and you might be wondering how to get them to respond.
Is it possible?
Elite Daily spoke to some experts about the practice of ghosting and how to get someone who ghosted you to respond. Turns out there might be more to it than you think.
Examine Your Desire For A Response
Anita A. Chlipala, licensed marriage and family therapist and author of First Comes Us: The Busy Couple's Guide to Lasting Love, said before you try any "tips" or "tricks" to get the person who ghosted you to come back, first ask yourself why you even want to.
According to Chlipala, people who ghost usually aren't worth the time you'd spend to text them back.
"In a healthy relationship, people communicate," she says. "Someone who ghosted is demonstrating an inability or unwillingness to handle conflict or uncomfortable feelings."
It's a horrible way to deal with things, says Chlipala. "Instead of being honest about why they no longer want to see you, they took the coward's way out and ceased communication. Ask yourself if you really want to be in a relationship with someone like this."
The important thing is to sit down and figure out why you think you want a response. Chlipala says it's not usually because the person is so incredible that you can't live without them. Usually, it's about your own ego. You wonder what you did wrong or how they could treat you that way.
The solution is to work on your own emotions, rather than reaching out.
"I think it's good to do some reflection and check your behaviors, but ultimately you can't take it personally. Dealing with your bruised ego on your own versus reaching out to someone who ghosted can leave your dignity intact," says Chlipala.
Figure Out Where They Fit In Your Circle
Chicago-based matchmaker Stef Safran says that ghosting isn't a "one size fits all" proposition, so you may end up getting a response when you least expect it.
"If someone who you know well ghosts, you probably have a better chance of them responding to you at some point," says Safran. "If this is someone you've just met, the chances are slimmer that you will get the response you want."
Either way, says Safran, it can be really difficult to figure out what's going on inside the mind of the person who ghosted. You may not want to spend time figuring it out.
"People can just want to completely unplug and may actually just need time away, but the idea that you have to read their mind is very frustrating," she says.
If they weren't just a stranger you met on an app, you may have better luck trying to get a response, but it may not matter at all. You should figure out if it's worth it to you to invest more energy in the person.
Don't Resort To Social Media Stalking
April Masini, a New York-based relationship expert and author of several books, says the worst thing you can do is to stalk someone, trying to see what they're doing and obsessing over a response from them.
"Instead," says Masini, "play it cool."
A lot of times people ghost because they don't know how to handle grown-up human emotion, so stalking them and trying to elicit a reaction won't work.
"Don't contact them. Don't stalk them. And don't unfriend them. Nothing is way better than a failed something. "
It may be difficult, but the best advice may be to actually do nothing, rather than texting incessantly hoping for a response. You'll give your brain the time and space it needs to clear out and deal with what happened.
Live Your Life Fabulously
Stop worrying about the person that ghosted you for a second and instead, focus on you. "Be fabulous, " says Masini.
The person who ghosted may in fact be watching you on social media — or they may be occasionally dropping by your accounts to see what you're up to.
Masini says it may make you feel better to be your awesome self: "Don't post you and other dates, but do be interesting, engaging, and attractive on social media. No 'woe is me' posting. Just fabulousness."
Figure Out How You Can Best Move On
Unfortunately, the reality is that there may be absolutely no way to get someone who ghosted you to respond. They ghosted because they didn't know how to maturely communicate that they wanted the relationship to end. It's unlikely anything you say or do will elicit a response, and it's not worth any more of your time.
Instead of trying to get them to respond, says marriage therapist, Nicole Richardson, focus on the lessons you've learned and look forward to the future — without them.
"When we are trying to 'make' someone else do things, we are trying to exert our control, which typically means we feel out of control. Part of opening ourselves up to someone new is giving up some control. It can be really painful when we don't get our desired outcome."
In case you are having a really hard time, says Richardson, it can help to remember that you can reestablish control of your life in other ways: "When you are struggling with feeling out of control in relationships, it can be helpful to evaluate what parts of your life you do have control over."
At the end of the day, you are better off not trying to get someone who ghosted to respond to you. You'll be happier without them in the long-term.
ways to unlock a Samsung smartphone without a password - Moscow and the region
How to unlock a Samsung phone if you forgot your password? Useful tips for unlocking - we tell you how to unlock Samsung devices.
January 17, 2022
8 minutes to read
Smartphones manufactured by the South Korean company Samsung are very popular in Russia. At the beginning of 2021, the devices of this brand occupied 27% of the Russian mobile device market - this is the second place.
Like any other smartphone with the Android operating system, the device from Samsung can be locked and unlocked in many ways - using a password or fingerprint, pattern or looking at the front camera. And here problems can arise. Owners forget passwords. Rarely, but it happens that mobile devices fail: a few minutes ago, the fingerprint sensor recognized the owner by fingerprint, but now it doesn’t recognize it anymore. An outsider, such as a playful child, took the smartphone while it was unlocked and changed the pattern used as the passcode on the touch screen.
What to do if you have problems unlocking?
Removing the lock via safe mode
Safe mode in Samsung phones is used to fix operating system malfunctions and errors. It also allows you to change the password and pattern.
It's easy to do.
1. With the smartphone turned on, hold down the power button until a menu appears on the screen with several options for further actions - "Turn off", "Restart", "Offline mode".
2. Select the Disable or Power Off option and hold it with your finger for a few seconds.
3. The smartphone will ask permission to switch to safe mode - press OK.
4. After the reboot, your Samsung will work in its pure form, without installed applications.
5. Enter "Settings" and change the password or unlock pattern, or disable this unlock method altogether.
6. Reboot your smartphone again - the changes will take effect and you will be able to use all the applications that you previously installed again. Your files will also remain on the device.
Unlocking with an additional pin code
Before talking about how this method works, you need to pay attention to its disadvantages:
- unlocking with an additional pin code does not work on all Samsung smartphones;
- this function only works if you provided an auxiliary pin code when setting a password or pattern - the system offers this option, but often people refuse it to save time;
- for the fingerprint sensor or face unlock technology, an additional pin code is not installed.
To use an additional pin code, follow the steps below.
- Enter the wrong password or pattern several times - usually it takes 5 times to make a mistake when entering.
- Wait for the message that the next attempt will be available in 30 seconds. In this case, it will be possible to select the item “Add. pin.
- Select this item. Enter your PIN and click OK. If you entered the pin code without error, the smartphone will be unlocked.
Unlock using Samsung Find My Mobile
Samsung has its own online service that allows you to monitor your smartphone via the Internet and remotely control its settings. To use this method, you need the device to be connected to the Internet.
Make sure your password or pattern has been saved in your Samsung account: when you set up protection, you can choose whether to back up or not.
The principle of operation is simple.
- Go to https://findmymobile.samsung.com/.
- Log in to your account by providing your email and password.
- Find the device you want to unlock from the list of devices associated with this account.
- Select "Unlock device".
- Click OK in the pop-up window to confirm your decision.
After a few minutes, you will have access to your smartphone again. But you can only use this feature if you have a Samsung account.
Unlock via Google account
In order to fully use a smartphone with the Android operating system - this OS is installed on Samsung devices - you need to create a Google account. It will also come in handy if you need to remove the lock.
As with Samsung Account, you need an internet connection to use it.
- Enter the wrong password several times for a warning to appear on the screen. You will be prompted with various options, including "Forgot password" and "Unblock with Google".
- Select either of these two options.
- Sign in to your Google account - you will be asked for your email and password.
- Reset the key and confirm the action by entering your email and password.
- Create a new password and click OK for the change to take effect.
There is a more radical way to solve the problem. But if you use it, all information on the smartphone will be erased.
- Go to https://android.com/find.
- Log in to your Google account and select the device you want to unlock.
- From the menu below, select "Set up blocking and data deletion".
- Clear the smartphone's memory.
You can then use your mobile device again and reconfigure the lock on it.
Reset to factory settings
The following method will also lead to the loss of all information stored in the memory of the Samsung smartphone. It makes sense to use it only if other methods do not contribute to solving the problem and there is a suspicion that the cause of the malfunction is a serious system failure.
A factory reset is usually done from the Settings menu. But, since you have problems with unlocking, then there is no access to the settings either. Fortunately, mobile device developers foresaw this situation.
- Turn off your phone. Remove the SIM card and microSD memory card from the slots.
- Hold down the power and volume buttons at the same time. Some Samsung Galaxy devices also have a hardware home button or a Bixby voice assistant button, and you may need to hold all three keys at the same time - the combination that works depends on which model you are using.
- When the Samsung logo appears on the screen, release the power button and hold the others for another 10-15 seconds.
- If you did everything right, the Samsung logo on the screen will change to the engineering menu.
- To navigate between the engineering menu items, use the volume key. You need the "Wipe data / Factory reset" item.
- Select the above option and confirm your decision by clicking Yes or Yes - Delete all user data.
- In some cases, you may need to additionally select the Reboot system now item in the menu that appears after this.
After the reboot, the device will return to the state it was in when you bought it. Now you can enter the "Settings" menu again and set a password or other method of blocking. Personal data and photos will be saved in your Google account.
Unlock with special apps
There are several programs that allow you to unlock a smartphone running the Android operating system. It's easy to use them. As a rule, the program allows using a computer and a smartphone connected to it to remove graphic keys, passwords, or reset the settings to factory settings.
Flashing from a computer
Flashing is a procedure that is best left to an experienced specialist. But you can do it yourself, you just need to act carefully, carefully read what the program offers you, and not take actions the consequences of which you are not sure.
Flashing a Samsung smartphone is aimed at restoring the operating system after a critical failure. Before proceeding with the procedure, read the description of the utility to better understand what you are doing and follow the instructions.
If possible, save the most important information from your mobile device. It is also better to get a SIM card and a memory card.
If successful, the operating system will be restored. In this case, all data and settings will be erased and the smartphone will return to the state in which it was when you bought it and took it out of the box. This means that there will be no lock on it, and the password, pattern, or fingerprint or face protection of the owner can be set again.
The best thing, of course, is not to forget your password or pattern - in this case, you will not have to hack your own smartphone. Samsung makes reliable mobile electronics and system failures are extremely rare. Most of the situations in which the methods listed above will be useful is the need to unlock a phone for which you simply forgot the passcode. But, as you can see, there is an extensive arsenal of tools to solve the problem.
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How to unlock the phone if you forgot your password: 6 ways
Anything happens in life, and situations when a user forgets the password from his smartphone are not so rare. Don't worry, this situation seems scary only at first glance, and smartphone manufacturers have provided many ways to help you. Let's figure out how to unlock the phone without knowing the password.
We note right away that the question of how to unlock a phone with a fingerprint is simply not worth it. You can’t forget a fingerprint in any way, and if the finger itself is damaged, then you can simply unlock such a device by entering the desired password.
Use your Google Account
If you forgot your old smartphone password running Android 5.0 or earlier, you can unlock your screen lock using your Google Account. All you need is an internet connection.
Enter any password or pattern five times. After that, the message “Forgot your password?” will appear on the smartphone screen. Click on it and in the window that appears, enter the login and password for the Google account to which the gadget is linked.
After a successful login, the smartphone screen will unlock by itself. If you forgot your Google account password, then you can recover it using the services of the American giant itself.
Use the Smart Lock function
If the first method is suitable only for owners of old gadgets, then the Smart Lock function, on the contrary, is designed for new smartphones released after 2015. Starting with Android 5.0, smartphones running the Google operating system have the ability to unlock them under certain conditions.
For example, you can set the device to automatically unlock when a trusted device connects to it. For example, your smart watch or fitness bracelet. The same applies to finding a smartphone in a certain area or its contact with you.
The main advantage of the function is that it does not require any intervention from you: the smartphone will be automatically unlocked if one of the above conditions is met. Well, its main disadvantage is that the setting must be done in advance. You will not be able to launch Smart Lock if your smartphone is already locked and you have forgotten your password. If you are lucky and the function is already active, just fulfill the conditions you set, and the smartphone will automatically unlock.
Use the manufacturer's services
As we wrote at the very beginning, many manufacturers have provided their own smartphone unlock services. For example, the Korean Samsung has a Find My Mobile service. With it, you can track the location of the smartphone, delete all data from it, remotely lock the gadget or, on the contrary, unlock it.
To do this, simply go to the service website from a computer or laptop, log in to your Samsung account, select your smartphone and click the "Unblock" button. The whole procedure is extremely simple and clear.
Use third-party programs
How to unlock your phone if you forgot your pattern password or regular PIN code, if other methods do not help? To do this, you can use third-party programs. For example, the free program Tenorshare 4uKey can easily restore access to your smartphone and even delete the Google account on it.
Install the program on your computer, then connect your long-suffering smartphone to it. Tenorshare 4uKey itself will offer to get rid of the lock. However, before using this application, please note that all data stored in the smartphone's memory will be lost.
Reset your smartphone to factory settings
You don't care too much about the data stored in your smartphone, but for some reason you really don't want to use third-party applications to restore access? how can i unlock my phone if i forgot the password in this case? Any Android smartphone has a factory reset function that deletes all information stored there. Moreover, you can use it bypassing the interface of the shell itself.
Depending on the smartphone model, the way to enter the engineering menu may be different. Turn off your smartphone, remove the memory card from it, if you have one, and try to press and hold the following key combinations for 10-15 seconds in turn:
- volume down + power key;
- volume up button + power key;
- volume down button + power key + home button;
- volume down button + volume up button + power button.
One of them should launch the engineering menu. Using the volume up and down buttons, select the Recovery item in it, and then the Wipe data / factory reset command. Confirm resetting your smartphone to factory settings.
Within a few minutes, all smartphone settings will be reset to their original state, and all user information will be deleted from its memory. If you have set up data synchronization with the Google cloud, then when you log into your account, you can restore at least part of the lost information.
How to unlock iPhone
All of the above methods apply to Android smartphones. But what if you have an iPhone? In this case, there is only one way in your arsenal - resetting the smartphone to factory settings. True, if you have their backup in an iCloud account, then there will be no problems with data recovery.
For this procedure, you will need a Windows or macOS computer with iTunes or Finder installed, respectively. If you have a recent iPhone model, starting with the iPhone 8 and iPhone SE 2, turn off the smartphone, then hold down the side button, connect it to the computer with a USB cable and do not release the button until the recovery screen appears.