How to get closure after cheating

How to repair your relationship after someone cheats

When Elle Grant's husband started spending a lot of time at work with his female associate, she wasn't immediately suspicious. "It had never worried me because he didn't like her," says Grant. "She was unattractive, difficult at work. But something kept nagging at my brain."

Grant finally confronted her husband about her gut feeling that something was off. Slowly, the truth began to come out. "He admitted a little, then, over the next days and weeks, he admitted more. I was shocked and devastated."

Despite the affair, the couple stayed together and are currently closing in on their 23rd wedding anniversary. But for many couples, infidelity is the nail in the coffin. A study conducted by the Austin Institute found that unfaithfulness in a marriage accounted for around 37 percent of divorces in the U.S.

It's not an easy thing to heal from — but according to marriage and family therapist Amanda D. Mahoney, patients who find success staying together after someone cheats have one main thing in common: "There's a willingness to process the potential symptoms that may have contributed to the affair versus focusing solely on the act of the affair itself," she explains.

That's not to be confused with justifying the decision to cheat by pointing to issues in the relationship as excuses. But if you're able to get real with your partner on what hasn't been working — without playing the blame game — it's a good sign that your relationship has the potential to be repaired.

In fact, it may not simply be repaired, but you may come out even stronger than before if you handle it the right way.

“If you and your partner are coming together after the fact and you do want to work this out and stay together, it can be one of the more important catalysts for growth in a couple relationship that’s out there,” says Jen Elmquist, relationship specialist and co-host of Evine After Dark.

For Grant, an author and journalist living in Toronto, packing up and leaving wasn't immediately in the cards. "I had three young children and didn't want to do anything to disrupt their lives if I wasn't absolutely sure I wanted out of the marriage," she says. Instead, she focused on her own healing with the help of a therapist, while her husband spent time in therapy separately.

How to Move Forward when someone cheats

If both you and your partner want to take the necessary steps to heal from an affair, it can be done, but it's going to be a long road. Here are a few important actions to take together that can help repair your relationship.

Make sure there is remorse

“There needs to be an adequate level of remorse. So if you’re the partner that has cheated, you really do have to feel deeply sorry. It can’t be something that can in any way come off nonchalant. There has to be deep sense of regret and remorse for what happened,” says Elmquist. “And if your partner has cheated on you and you’re not feeling that remorse from them, that’s going to be something you’re going to want to look for as the starting point for you to get back on the same track.”

Be honest about why it happened

This is the hardest step and will largely dictate whether or not you'll both be able to move forward. "People can make poor choices at times," says Mahoney. "The question then becomes: does that poor choice and/or symptom(s) now have to dictate the future of a relationship? The answer largely depends on the motivating factors behind the affair." Underlying unmet needs in the relationship, poor communication, attachment difficulties and antiquated gender roles can all be impetus for an affair — ones that Mahoney has helped couples work through in her practice.

“Infidelity is very complex, there’s a lot of depth and complexity to why people might cheat and how you can find a way back to each other,” adds Elmquist, who says insight is curcial. "Why did this happen? Where was the breakdown? What was it in our relationship that ultimately caused us to have an open door for someone else to walk into it? Having that insight in your relationship is going to be important.”

But if the person who cheated isn't willing to be upfront about why it happened — or starts pointing blame, repairing things might not be possible. "[The reason] can’t be overly simplified, such as 'I’m a man' or 'it just happened,'" says marriage coach and author Lesli Doares. "The only way to rebuild trust is to be completely clear why it happened so when faced with a similar situation in the future, a different choice will be made."

Grant's husband admitted he was a sex addict and sought out therapy on his own to work through it. "By the time I felt strong enough to leave, my husband had been in therapy for a couple of years and had done so much work to understand why he'd risked a family he loved for relationships that didn't really matter," says Grant. "I respected how hard he'd worked. He had done everything he could to support me as I healed."

Remove temptations to re-engage with the affair

If the affair is really, truly over, taking the physical steps to cut off contact with the person and set up boundaries is crucial to your partner's healing process. "Deleting contact information, blocking numbers and removing social media contacts will be essential," says Dr. Brandon Santan, a licensed marriage and relationship therapist practicing in Tennessee.

Because Grant's husband worked with the woman he cheated with, this was more complicated. "I do think 'no contact' is important, but sometimes it's impossible," she says. "In that case, there needs to be transparency about any interactions."

Move forward with brutal honesty and care

Being cheated on is damaging for a plethora of reasons, but one big factor that needs to be addressed in order to move past it is lack of honesty. "The lying is a huge part of the betrayal,' says Doares, which is why she encourages the person who cheated to be brutally honest about all the details of the affair to move forward — not just the ones that will hurt his or her partner the least. "The cheater has to be completely transparent and answer any and all questions," she says.

This level of transparency needs to continue for as long as it takes to build that trust back up again; something that Elle says was key to her healing process. "My husband gave up anything that made me uncomfortable (like going out with the boys after work). I had access to any/all electronics/emails, passwords etc. He told me where he was going and who he'd be with. Seems humiliating in the short term, but he understood that that was how he was going to rebuild trust," she says.

“You’re going to have to set other things aside for a while and you’re really going to have to pour into this relationship in order for it to have a fresh, strong, new foundation,” adds Elmquist.

Be selective about who you tell

Your gut reaction might be to blast your partner's indiscretions across social media for all to see, which Travis McNulty, LMHC, practicing in Florida says is a common coping mechanism. "I’ve seen people in this position go to extreme lengths to hurt their spouse in a very public manner," he says. "Often this is done out of rage and with lack of clarity that usually makes the person who was cheated on look bad or crazy by how they react." It's healthy to talk to someone about what you're going through, especially to a therapist. But telling everyone in your inner circle can end up backfiring.

"The more people that know about it, the more people are going to have their opinions based off of purely trying to protect you from getting hurt," McNulty explains. "This is the therapist’s worst nightmare because coalitions and allegiances amongst friends and family members really make moving forward difficult." Especially if you two do decide to work through this. "The person who was cheated on may be able to forgive and move on, but the family still holds an intense grudge that usually puts more pressure on an already vulnerable relationship that is trying to rebuild and move on," says McNulty.

Grant found support by creating a blog, The Betrayed Wives Club, to connect with others who were also victims of infidelity — a support system she says played a large part in her healing process. "I created my site because I was desperate for a community of women who knew what I was going through and who wouldn't judge," she says. Our culture lacks real understanding around how devastating infidelity is. It can be really painful to share your secret only to have someone respond, as a friend of mine did, 'Well, I wouldn't put up with it.'"

Consider working with a licensed therapist

After an affair, it can be hard to know what to do or even where to start. If the conversations you're having with your partner feel like they're not getting anywhere, consider working with a licensed therapist who can help guide the process. "The therapist's ability to be a neutral party in the conversation helps identify what underlying unmet needs can be recognized and processed within the couple’s relationship," Mahoney explains. "During this investigative stage of therapy, couples often have the ability to seek understanding, find compassion, have greater potential to problem solve and move forward."

I tell couples they are going to have to bury that first relationship and think about starting a brand new relationship with each other.

“Once you have that insight [on why someone cheated], how do you take the learnings from that and how do you put it into actionable change? Because the relationship is going to have to change,” says Elmquist. “I oftentimes tell couples they are going to have to bury that first relationship and think about starting a brand new relationship with each other. And in that new relationship you’re going to put in the same intensity you did in the beginning of your relationship all over again; that same intensity of learning about each other and caring for each other and being intentional with each other.”

Grant and her husband eventually sought couples counseling after they had each worked with separate therapists. "Our relationship is better in a lot of ways thanks to therapy," says Grant. "My husband has shown up for our life together in a way that he just didn't before. We have a lot of fun together, he's a much more hands-on father. Therapy helped him work through a lot of childhood grief, so that his own feelings are a lot more accessible to him. "

"If you’re truly wanting to move on and continue with life with your partner after infidelity and have a loving relationship, it is possible. I see it in my office every day," says McNulty.


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15 Tips on Getting Closure After an Affair

Even if you know that your affair was wrong, leaving isn’t always easy, nor is there a one-size-fits-all guide for ending things.

Many people want to quit an affair cold turkey, while others need closure for moving forward after an affair. Closure is the act of terminating something in a way that leaves you feeling satisfied, even if that satisfaction tastes bittersweet.

Learning how to get closure after an affair is not easy. It can be emotionally and physically taxing, especially if you’re trying to decide whether to tell your spouse about your infidelity. That is why we’re looking at 15 effective tips for moving forward after an affair.

Why should you get closure after an affair?

There are plenty of reasons for finding closure after an affair has ended. Perhaps you need to find a way to live with the guilt you now feel for cheating, or maybe your affair partner ended things before you were ready to say goodbye.

Whatever your circumstances, getting closure after an affair can help you deal with the myriad of feelings you are no doubt dealing with post-infidelity.

15 tips for getting closure after an affair

Wondering how to get closure from a toxic relationship? Check out some essential tips on how to get closure after an affair:

1. End it

The biggest step in getting closure after an affair is to end it and make sure it’s really over. Don’t backslide or continue to search this person out on social media. End it once and for all so that you can truly move on with your life.

Also Try: Dead End Relationship Quiz

2. Find out who you are

If you want to learn how to get closure after an affair, start by mending the relationship you have with yourself.

People can get lost in affairs, and when the affair ends, they feel like a stranger to themselves.

For getting past an affair, reconnect with yourself, your loves, and your passions, and figure out what you want from your life. Only when you learn to accept and love yourself can you have true emotional closure after an affair.

3. Forgive yourself

It isn’t easy moving forward after an affair, especially when you feel guilty about what happened. Instead of looking back on your extramarital fling as romantic, the memories turn your stomach.

Guilt is good (hear us out) because it shows that you have a conscience. You feel BAD about what happened, and that’s GOOD.

But it’s over now, and beating yourself up over what happened isn’t going to change anything – it’s only going to hold you back from building a better marriage and moving on.

If you find it hard to forgive yourself, check out this video for some tips on how to get over the guilt:

4. Journal it out

How to end an affair with a married man or woman? One tip for how to get closure after an affair is to write out your feelings.

Sometimes it’s hard to process what we feel, but putting pen to paper can bring clarity to your life and help you see things from a new perspective.

Journaling is especially helpful if you have not confided in your friends or your spouse about what happened and need an outlet.

Also Try: Should I End My Relationship Quiz

5. Figure out where you went wrong

What happened in your marriage to make you stray? What happened in your affair to make things end?

These are two questions you need to know the answer to if you want to learn how to get closure after an affair.

Figure out where you went wrong so that you are not doomed to repeat the same relationship mistakes.

6. Tell your spouse

Getting closure after an affair is about more than talking with your ex.

Do you feel consuming guilt after ending affairs when you’re in love with your extramarital partner? This is natural. You’re coming down off of the high of new love (or lust, more likely) and settling back into your life with your partner.

You’ve betrayed your partner’s trust, and now every time you look at them, you feel:

  • Sick to your stomach
  • Nervous that they’re going to find out
  • Regretful for all you’ve done

When an affair ends, moving on can only happen if you come clean with your spouse, do it.

You can do this one-on-one, through a heartfelt letter, or in couples counseling. Whatever way you choose, remember that you’re revealing your secret so you can repair your marriage, not so you can crush your spouse with details about your cheating.

Also Try: Do You Know Your Spouse That Well?

7. Seek counseling

Whether you are set on finding closure after an affair you’ve been a part of or you want to learn how to get closure after being cheated on, therapy can be extremely healing.

Your therapist can help you identify the underlying reasons why you strayed from your marriage. A counselor can also be invaluable in learning how to get closure after an affair as a couple if you have told your spouse about your extramarital activities.

You can find a therapist easily on by using the Find a Therapist directory and connect with your perfect one-on-one therapist.

8. Make a list

If you want emotional closure after an affair, you need to remind yourself why ending your affair (whether you were the dumper or dumpee) was the right thing to do.

  • You were breaking your marriage vows
  • Your spouse would be crushed if they knew
  • If your cheating partner was married, they were putting their marriage in jeopardy
  • An affair can emotionally damage any children in the mix
  • Leading a double life is exhausting
  • You deserve the whole cake, not just the icing on top

Making such a list and consulting it whenever you feel tempted to reach out to your ex will help in getting closure after an affair.

Also Try: What Kind Of Guy Is Right For Me Quiz

9. Lean on your friends

Confiding in a trusted confidant can be helpful in finding closure after an affair. This is a wonderful outlet for your feelings, and statistics show that leaning on close friends during stressful times can greatly reduce psychological distress.

10. Practice letting the affair go

Learning how to get closure after an affair isn’t a one-time decision. Ending an affair is a choice you have to make every single day.

Practice letting go after an affair by taking it one day at a time and repeatedly making the decision that is right for you and your marriage.

Also Try: Should I Let Him Go Quiz

11. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes

When the affair is over, having closure is comforting, but it isn’t necessary for moving on.

Approaching an ex for closure may even lead to an extension of the affair you’re trying to break off.

To get over your affair and do away with the notion that closure is something you deserve, considering your partner’s feelings.

Do they know about the affair? If they found out about it, would they be heartbroken?

How would you feel if your husband/wife was bored in your marriage, and instead of coming to you to fix things as partners, they found someone else to make things exciting again?

No doubt you would be crushed.

How to move on after an affair? Getting emotional closure after an affair can help you move on, but don’t do it if the cost is needlessly hurting your spouse more than you already have.

12. Focus on your marital happiness

One tip for how to get closure after an affair is to fix what you have with your partner. This is especially true if your spouse knows about your extramarital activities.

Focusing your time and energy on finding happiness in your marriage will help greatly in moving forward after an affair.

Also Try: Are You Codependent Quiz

13. Plan dates

Getting closure after an affair is about more than letting go of your ex. It’s about accepting that the deceitful part of your life is over. Now it’s time to rebuild with your married partner – and you can start with a date night.

Research conducted by The National Marriage Project found that having a regular date night once a month was shown to have positive effects on couples.

Partners who regularly went out and spent quality time together experienced an increase in sexual satisfaction, communication skills and injected passion back into their relationship.

14. Have one last look at your mementos

If your affair partner refuses to talk to you now that the relationship is over, finding closure after an affair can be extremely difficult.

One way you can begin the healing process is to do a cleanse. Find any text messages, e-mails, gifts, or photographs you may have of that person and have one last look. Then destroy them.

Keeping these things around is harmful and hurtful.

  • Harmful to you as you carry reminders of your affair and the heartbreak that followed, and
  • Hurtful to your spouse if they were ever to find such mementos.
Also Try: How Do You Respond To Romance?

15. Accept what’s done is done

There is no quick fix for how to get closure after an affair. Sometimes you get to wrap things up in a neat little bow, while other times, you’re left with nothing but a big mess to clean up.

The best thing to do for getting closure after an affair is to accept that what’s done is done. You can’t change the past, but you can make a better future for yourself and your marriage.

Is emotional closure after an affair important?

The term “need for closure” was coined by psychologist Arie Kruglanski and referred to getting an answer that would lessen ambiguity or confusion about a certain situation. In this case, a breakup.

Questions you might have after an affair has ended might be:

  • Why did the relationship end?
  • Did your spouse find out?
  • Why did you choose them over me?
  • Did you ever really love me/Was our relationship real?
  • Did I do something to make you lose interest?
  • Was I used for emotional/sexual gratification?

So, if you wonder what to do after an affair ends, know that getting emotional closure after an affair can help you bring the situation to an end in a way that feels satisfying and allows you to move on.

Having answers to the questions above can help you heal, support your mental health, and make it easier for you to begin your life as a single person or recommit to your marriage.

Also Try: Is My Wife Having an Emotional Affair Quiz


If you want help in getting closure after an affair, start by ending things for good. You don’t want any ghosts lingering in the back of your marriage.

The next step is to cut off all contact with the person you have been cheating with. Block them from your social media, delete their phone number, and make a clean break.

Finally, focus on your marriage and seek counseling – or, if you’ve chosen to leave your marriage, focus on rebuilding your sense of self.

Once you learn to leave the past where it belongs, you’ll be able to put your attention where it matters most: rebuilding your happiness.

Life after infidelity: how to restore trust


CheatingMan and woman

Partners often have different ideas about what is considered cheating. For some, virtual sex is innocent entertainment, for others it is a betrayal. For some, watching a porn movie is a manifestation of infidelity, and registration and correspondence on a dating site without real meetings can lead to a divorce.

It's time to put an end to this uncertainty. I propose a universal definition of treason.

Cheating (infidelity) — destruction of trust due to deliberate concealment of important intimate moments of one's life from a partner.


I gave this definition without any emphasis on the sexual sphere, in order to emphasize that the main thing in betrayal is the loss of trust. This is important because the fact itself will be remembered for a lifetime, but trust can be restored.

My 25 years of experience in the treatment of psychological and sexual problems associated with infidelity shows that the solution to the problem begins and ends with the restoration of trust.

In the process of restoring trust, partners need to learn to be open and honest in everything. It is not simple. Many deceivers in therapy only pretend that they are trying to change, but in fact they continue to lie. This tactic works, but sooner or later, the partners again convict them of deceit.

If you sincerely repent and want to save the relationship, you should try to be absolutely honest

Trust is not restored just because one of the partners has stopped cheating on the other. It can only be gradually brought back if you make a commitment to always tell the truth, no matter how painful it may be. A deceiver ceases to be a deceiver when he begins to tell his partner about everything: about gifts for children and going to the gym, financial expenses and mowing the lawn, and, of course, about all social connections, even those that his chosen one does not like.


Absolute honesty is a matter of behavior, not thoughts and fantasies. If you could not resist communicating with your ex, you need to tell your partner about it. But if you're just thinking about how it would be nice to call or meet up with your ex, but don't act on it, you can tell a friend or therapist about it, but not your spouse.

Stephen Arterburn and Jason Martinkus in Trustworthy describe absolute honesty as "I'd rather lose you than cheat you." They write: “There needs to be a shift in your honesty paradigm. The truth should be your number one priority." The authors argue that a former cheater should always tell the truth: "If your wife asks you if her favorite pants are fat, you should tell her what you really think."


Deceivers must learn to speak the truth actively. If your partner wants to know about something, you should tell him as soon as possible. In addition, you need to be prepared for the fact that he may get angry for the truth. The partner will be offended and angry a lot more if he finds out that you lied or withheld something.

Yesterday's deceivers often complain that, despite their honesty, their spouses do not trust them. It is difficult for them to understand that months and years after the betrayal, it is difficult to unconditionally trust the person who deceived you.

Restoring trust in relationships takes time and effort. Only constant honesty can accelerate this process. Don't just tell the truth about what your partner already knows or is beginning to suspect. Be honest about the little things: "Honey, I forgot to take out the trash this morning."


There are difficulties on the way of former deceivers. Even if they sincerely want to be honest, they can fall into one of them.

  • Passive truthfulness. If a partner suspects them of something, they may confess, but not tell the whole truth, believing that the details may worsen the relationship or cause pain.
  • Partial truth. In this case, the truth is presented in a mild form.
  • Playing the role of a child. The deceiver waits for the partner to “pull” the truth out of him. If he doesn't insist, he doesn't say anything.
  • An understatement. He tries to be honest, but downplays or omits embarrassing details so as not to hurt his partner.
  • Activation of a defensive or attacking reaction. An ex-liar tells his partner the truth. He is angry and indignant. Then the deceiver “reverses” and begins to make excuses or, conversely, reacts aggressively and begins to blame the partner for all sins.
  • Waiting for immediate forgiveness. The former deceiver speaks only the truth and demands that his partner forgive him. However, the time that each of us needs to survive betrayal is individual.

Even if your honesty failed to convince your partner that you can be trusted, drastic measures remain. You can install tracking programs on your phone: in this way, your partner can not only find out where you are, but also track your movements and activity on the Web. Grant access to your computer and bank account. Full transparency can restore trust.

Author: Robert Weiss is a psychiatrist and author of Sex Addiction 101: The Ultimate Guide to Breaking Sexual, Pornographic, and Love Addictions, Coming Out of the Shadows: A Step-by-Step Guide to Rescuing Relationships for Men Who Have Been Caught Cheating.

Text: Alexandra Galimova Photo credit: Getty Images

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Cheating Man and woman Relationship crisis

“Many of my clients come to the appointment with a similar problem , says family therapist Andrew J. Marshall. “Having survived the betrayal of a loved one, they decide to save the relationship, but even if everything looks good in a couple, many still periodically return to what happened in their thoughts and cannot completely forgive their partner.”

In such cases, he advises to write down and analyze your thoughts and emotions, as this will help you manage them. And in working with such clients, he uses an approach based on five simple techniques.

Accept your feelings

Please don't reproach yourself for not being able to magically leave it all in the past and move on as if nothing had happened. Perhaps your husband's infidelity has been the biggest shock in your life so far and it poses a serious threat to your well-being, so I'm not surprised that the pain keeps coming back and the same thoughts are spinning in your head. And you still can't understand how this monstrous betrayal could even happen.

Action #1

Saying your feelings out loud instead of letting them bubbling up and down inside is really helpful. Tell yourself, "I feel angry, I'm worried, I'm confused" or something else. You don't have to do anything about these feelings - just acknowledge them.

Sometimes I ask my clients to start keeping a diary of feelings, where they record the time, the feeling and the reason that caused it at the moment

Keep it for several days or weeks, and you will find certain patterns. Believe me: if you notice your feelings, observe them, and do not suppress them, they will gradually weaken and become more manageable over time.

Work on your thoughts

Many feelings arise as a result of our thoughts. We tend to believe everything that our inner voice broadcasts as the ultimate truth. However, he often exaggerates or combines events from different life situations to provide us with irrefutable evidence that life is over. (I call this "catastrophic thinking.")

Practice #2

Don't let bad thoughts poison your life, write them down. Write as if your inner voice is dictating to you. And when you write everything, word by word, you will see that there is nothing particularly frightening there. Go back to the beginning of the text and look for exaggerations. For example, you wrote: "I'm so tired of thinking about cheating every day." I would be hooked by the phrase "every day." I think the word "often" reflects reality more accurately.

I know it's a very minor change, but the new word doesn't feel so helpless anymore, does it?

And then you might want to add a few clarifications. And write: “I often think about cheating and sometimes feel exhausted after it, although it also happens that after that I feel better.” I guess that the latter option is not only softer, but also more accurate. Reread the text again and pay attention to “always”, “never”, “should”, “should” and other words from the category of black and white vocabulary.

Think about what these memories want to tell you

You remember your husband's infidelity for a reason. Not because you are a bad person and are not able to forgive the betrayal of a partner or do not want to save the marriage. Most likely, your feelings are trying to tell you that some issues remain unresolved and that your relationship needs to be given more attention.

For example, your sex life has become too insipid, or your husband is constantly in conflict with your daughter, and you are forced to be torn between them, as if between two fires. If you continue to ignore these warning signals, your unconscious mind will send them over and over again.

Session #3

Go back to the diary entries that your inner voice dictated to you. Once you've filtered out the exaggerations, you're left with a few fairly straightforward tasks.

For example, to balance work and home life; go out somewhere together, because you have not done this even once in the last couple of months. Since you have already guessed what the memories are telling you, it would be quite logical to take practical steps to solve these problems. For example, turn off the phone after 9pm or book a table at your favorite restaurant.

Stop expecting the impossible from your partner and move on

If a person works as a secretary in the reception, you are unlikely to expect that he will balance correctly or conduct excellent business negotiations. But I sometimes meet pioneers who expect from their partner some special spiritual subtlety, the ability to be aware of their own and other people's feelings, which in no way corresponds to his upbringing and character traits.

In particular, to the question “Why did you need this novel?” in many cases, the answers will be incomprehensible, simply because up to this point no one has asked a person about motivation. You may be counting on your partner to listen and sympathize even when you get angry, criticize, or shame him, when what he needs most right now is to work with a therapist who can get through the shell to the person who is looking for support.

Reception No.


We tend to see our partners the way we like to see them, not the way they really are. And yet, for some reason, we are sure that they think exactly the same as we do. Although girls are usually raised differently than boys, the appearance of children affects women and men differently. Try to accept in a partner not only his strengths, but also his shortcomings. Be aware that there is something impossible for him, beyond his strength.

Get rid of perfectionism

The most destructive of all emotions is shame. You will feel embarrassed for the recent tantrum or outburst of anger, and even more ashamed of you for being cheated on, and for the fact that you, apparently, are not good enough.

Since this feeling is unpleasant for us, we try desperately to avoid it. The most typical way is to try to be perfect in everything and hope that this will protect us from possible future suffering. We try to be the best for our partner and hope that he too will turn out to be the perfect repentant sinner.

I also often meet people who portray their relationship as ideal before infidelity and then become doubly angry at their spouse who ruined this whole idyll.

Reception No. 5

I like the phrase of the German philosopher Immanuel Kant: “You can’t cut anything straight out of such a crooked log as a person.” In other words, we cannot be perfect because we are human. And when we make a mistake or fail to achieve the impossible, we are nonetheless ashamed of it.

Returning to the first point, take this feeling in yourself and analyze the thoughts that arise about this. It's certainly worth aiming to be the best version of yourself and your marriage to be the best version of yourself, but please, let's not aim for absolute perfection.


A handy and compact diary will help you keep track of your thoughts and feelings in order to survive betrayal. It will be convenient for you not only to set goals and plan days, but also to write down your thoughts.

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