Feeling on you
That feeling you get when listening to sad music? It’s humanity – Harvard Gazette
Susan Cain prefers to poke around the less-examined corners of can-do America. In 2012 she published “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” which became a phenomenon and made the congenitally less chatty among us fashionable and even cool. The 1993 Harvard Law School graduate’s new book, “Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Can Make Us Whole,” has become a New York Times bestseller. The Gazette spoke with Cain about how embracing the poignancy of life can lead to creativity and connection. The interview was edited for clarity and length.
GAZETTE: What does it mean to have a “bittersweet” state of mind?
CAIN: It has to do with the awareness that life is a mix of joy and sorrow, light and dark, and that everything and everyone you love is impermanent. I first experienced this state of mind when I would listen to sad music. All my life I had this mysterious reaction to sad music; it would make me feel a sense of connection to the people who had known the sorrow that the musician was trying to express.
At first, I thought it was just me, but when I started my research, I realized that many musicologists have been studying this because for a long time many people have had this reaction not only to music, but to other aspects of the human experience. There is a deep tradition across the world and across the centuries of people experiencing this higher state of mind that comes from an awareness of fragility and impermanence.
GAZETTE: You make a connection between this state of mind and religion. Can you talk about that a bit?
CAIN: We listen to sad music for the same reason we go to church or synagogue or the mosque. We long for the Garden of Eden, we long for Mecca, we long for Zion because we come into this world with the sense that there is a more perfect and beautiful world to which we belong, where we are no longer. We feel that intensely, but we’re not really encouraged to articulate that. Yet our religions do it for us. Art also does it. In “The Wizard of Oz,” Dorothy longs for a place “somewhere over the rainbow,” and Harry Potter longs to see his parents again.
This is a fundamental building block of every human experience. That’s what the music is expressing, and that’s why we listen to it, and that’s why we feel so connected to each other when we do it because this is our most primary state of being. But because we all have to earn a living, raise our children, and live our lives, we’re not so much in touch with those deeper states. Arts and music have a way of bringing us back.
GAZETTE: Many people would find that having a positive outlook in life is fine. What’s wrong with that?
CAIN: There are two things wrong with it. Number one is that it’s just not telling the truth of any human experience because there’s no human being who doesn’t experience both joy and sorrow, and light and dark. That’s just part of human life. To tell each other that we shouldn’t be telling the truth of our experiences is inherently invalidating. But the deeper reason is that there is something about the melancholic side of our experience that is intimately connected to creativity and to transcendence.
We shouldn’t want to be robbing ourselves of this experience.
In the book, I developed a bittersweet quiz, with psychologists Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman and Dr. David Yaden, that people can take to measure how likely they are to experience bittersweet states of being. Dr. Kaufman and Dr. Yaden ran some preliminary studies and found that people who score high on the quiz, meaning that they tend to experience bittersweet states of mind, are also more inclined to states that predispose them to creativity, awe, wonder, spirituality, and transcendence. These are some of the most sublime aspects of being human, and they happen to be connected to our appreciation of how fragile life can be, and the impermanence of life.
GAZETTE: Why does sadness get a bad rap in American culture?
CAIN: The U.S. culture since the 19th century has been organized around the idea of winners and losers. This way of thinking originated in the economic sphere, where we started asking, “If somebody succeeded or failed in business, was that a question of good luck or bad luck?” Or “Was it something inside the person that made them have that outcome?” Increasingly, the answer that people arrived at was that it was driven by something within the person, and we started having this dichotomy of seeing each other as winners and losers.
The more you have that kind of dichotomy, the more you want to behave in a way that indicates that you’re a winner and not a loser. Anything that would be associated with loss, like sorrow, longing, sadness, or melancholia, would be seen as being part of the loser side of the ledger.
Being a winner was associated with being successful and cheerful. Even back in the 19th century, the psychologist William James commented on how it was becoming unfashionable for people to complain about the weather because it was seen as being too negative. During the Great Depression, a common view was to see those who lost everything as losers. In my research, I found a news article with the headline: “Loser Committed Suicide in the Streets.” That is astonishing if you think about it, but the use of the word loser has only increased over time.
I would also say that religion has played a role. The U.S. was originally a Calvinist country, and in the Calvinist religion, you were predestined for heaven or hell.
There was nothing you could do about it, but you could show that you were one of the people who was going to heaven. The way to do it was by working hard, and then that thinking got transferred later in the 19th century into: “Are you a winner or a loser?”
GAZETTE: Why should people embrace the bittersweet aspects of life? What’s in for them?
CAIN: The first thing I would say is to look at the data, which is quite overwhelming. Psychologist Laura Carstensen at Stanford University did some fascinating studies where she showed that people who are attuned to what she calls life’s fragility — the fact that our days are numbered — also tend to find a sense of meaning in their lives and have a greater sense of gratitude; they are more focused on their deeper relationships, and they’re less likely to feel angry and irritable.
There’s also the work by David Yaden, who found that people who are in transitional states of life, including divorce and approaching the end of their lives, also tend to reach those states of mind that Laura Carstensen was talking about.
We saw it collectively in the United States after 9/11, when many people turned in the direction of meaning. We saw a huge increase in applications for Teach For America and to take jobs as firefighters, nurses, or teachers. We’re seeing that now in the wake of the pandemic, with more applications to medical and nursing schools and people wanting more meaning from their work and personal lives.
GAZETTE: You wrote about the power of introverts in “Quiet.” This book is about the strength of embracing a bittersweet outlook on life. Why are you drawn to these underrated aspects of humanity?
CAIN: I think that both these aspects of humanity are connected. I also think there’s something about writing books that gives us the permission to discuss things that aren’t as easy to talk about in everyday life. To me, the whole point of writing books is to look at the unexamined, the unspeakable, and the unarticulated. I’m just most interested in talking about that which can’t be said when we’re just chatting at the grocery store.
GAZETTE: What do you hope people will take away from this book?
CAIN: I would like people to be less afraid of experiencing melancholy, sorrow, and longing, and to embrace the powers that bittersweetness has to offer: the powers of creativity, connection, and transcendence. It has been very interesting for me to see the response from readers of “Bittersweet,” which is a very different book from “Quiet.” But the letters I’m getting from readers of “Bittersweet” are very similar to the ones that I got from those who read “Quiet” in that what people say over and over is, “I feel understood,” “I had never been able to give voice to it,” “I feel validated.” A lot of people write me saying that after reading the book they’re realizing that they have suppressed the melancholic side of their nature all their lives, and they’re also realizing how valuable that side of their nature is. There has been this curious echo with “Quiet,” which I didn’t set out to do, but it ended up happening.
How your body reacts when you fall in love
Story highlights
Euphoric chemical releases in the brain help people bond with their partner
It can make people feel sick and euphoric at the same time
Butterflies in your stomach, a racing heartbeat—you probably remember those symptoms well from your first middle school crush. As an adult, they’re actually your body’s subtle clues that you’re falling in love (or lust, at least). At the start of a relationship, a series of truly fascinating chemical reactions occur throughout your nervous system and hormones. From the first time you meet to climbing under the sheets, here’s what’s happening to your body as you fall in love.
RELATED: 20 Weird Facts About Sex and Love
Kesha wasn’t too far off when she described love as a drug, according to a 2010 study conducted at Rutgers University. Researchers concluded that falling in love is much like the sensation of feeling addicted to drugs with the release of euphoria, including brain chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline, and vasopressin. Kat Van Kirk, PhD, a clinical sexologist and licensed marriage and family therapist, says these chemicals are released throughout different points of attraction, and help bond you with your partner. Like drugs, the more time you spend with this person, the more addicted you become, she says.
Love Story: ‘He makes my heart melt’
Pets
CNN Single vs.
married: A Valentine's Day showdown
Having a few too many glasses of wine makes you less inhibited, fearful, and anxious, and more aggressive and boastful—and so does oxytocin, the “love hormone,” according to a University of Birmingham study. Researchers pooled existing research into the effects of both oxytocin and alcohol and although they impact different parts of the brain, they have similar outcomes.
Shutterstockvideo
Love Stories: 'He was the love of my life'
Before a big date, you might notice your heart rate tick up and your hands get sweatier.
It’s not just a nervous tick that causes your anxiety to rise; it’s actually the stimulation of adrenaline and norepinephrine, says Dr. Kirk. “This can lead to having a physical sensation of craving and the desire to focus your attention on that specific person,” she says.
When you’re attracted to someone—sitting across from you at the bar, on the street, laying in bed together—there is a stimulation in your nervous system’s sympathetic branch, which causes your eyes to dilate, says Dr. Kirk. (Go ahead, you can test it with your partner—it’s fun!)
It’s normal to lose your appetite or feel uneasy when you’ve just started seeing someone new.
That’s your body’s way of telling you that you really like that person. “Lovesickness may actually be the stress hormone cortisol contracting the blood vessels in your stomach, making you feel sick,” Dr. Kirk says. This usually fades over time as you become more comfortable with your boyfriend or girlfriend—but could also partially explain why many brides and grooms feel like they can’t eat at their wedding.
RELATED: 12 Ways Your Relationship Can Hurt Your Health
Ever heard stories of panicked moms lifting cars off their trapped children? While it might seem insane that the combination of love and fear can give you sudden superhuman strength in an emergency, anecdotal evidence suggests it really can happen.
(It’s pretty much impossible to scientifically research this phenomenon, called hysterical strength, because it’s difficult to replicate those conditions for a study.) It’s not just parents who have experienced hysterical strength; people who are in love have, as well. “The oxytocin released in your system when you fall in love can actually increase your tolerance for physical pain,” Dr. Kirk says. Move aside, Prince Charming—love will save the day.
There’s a scientific reason why you have photos of your love set as your smartphone background or framed on your desk. The desire to literally look at your partner’s face comes from the brain’s release of dopamine, says Dr. Kirk. “This is the same effect on the brain as taking cocaine because it stimulates the desire/reward response related to intense pleasure,” she says.
In other words, when you scroll through photos from your vacation together, you get a surge of energy, as your desire is being fulfilled.
strawberry shortbread stacks
from a guiltless glutton6 heart-healthy Valentine's Day desserts
RELATED: 20 Ways to Fall in Love All Over Again
Once you’re past that crush stage and you’re deepening your connection and commitment to your partner, you might notice other odd changes in your body—including your voice getting higher (yes, really). According to a study published in 2011 in the Journal of Evolutionary Psychology, researchers found that when women spoke to men they were more attracted to physically, their voice tended to get higher and more feminine.
So if you’re a bit softer with your partner than you are with your co-worker who keeps missing your deadlines, blame it on love.
When we’re separated from our partner for brief or extended periods of time, we respond like a drug addict who is coming off of their addiction, says Serena Goldstein, a naturopathic doctor in New York City. “Corticotrophin releasing factor is increased as part of a stress response when we are away from our partner, contributing to anxiety and depression,” she says. Those couples who are in long distance relationships learn to cope with this feeling, often through developing attachments to their partner’s voice as a way to stay connected to him or her.
During the honeymoon phase of a relationship—the first one to two years when you go ga-ga every time you see your sweetie—your hormones go haywire.
According to a 2004 study published in Psychoneuroendocrinology, cortisol (the stress hormone) increases in both men and women. And during this time, testosterone, the male sex hormone, decreases in men and increases in women.
You can die of a broken heart—it’s a scientific fact, according to the American Heart Association. The scientific term is “stress-induced cardiomyopathy” and it can strike even the healthiest person when their stress hormones surge during an emotionally stressful event, such as the death of a partner, divorce, or even a bad breakup. Symptoms often mimic those of a heart attack and include shortness of breath, irregular heartbeat, and chest pain. While broken heart syndrome can cause permanent damage to the heart and, in rare cases, even death, the good news is that most cases are treatable and can be fully resolved within a few weeks.
At the beginning of a relationship, couples can’t keep their hands off each other, but it can be tough to keep that spark alive long-term, especially for women, according to a study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy. Researchers from the University of Geulph in Ontario, Canada surveyed 170 men and women in monogamous heterosexual relationships about relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction and sexual desire. Researchers found that although the guys’ sexual appetite held steady over time, women experienced a .02 drop on the Female Sexual Function Index for every month they remained in a relationship. If you start to feel your sex drive starting to cool, try these everyday libido-boosting habits to crank it back up.
Life may be like a box of chocolates, but with food allergies, you need to know exactly what you're getting.
Making Valentine's Day safe for your allergic sweetie
RELATED: 14 Fascinating Facts All Women Should Know About Orgasms
You’ll hear jokes that people “let themselves go” when they’re in a happy relationship, and there may be some truth to that stereotype. In a 2012 review in the Journal of Obesity, researchers found that people tend to gain weight as they settle into marriage. Another study found that after moving in with a man, women tend to eat more high-fat, high-sugar foods, and further research found that newly married young women gained 24 pounds in the first five years after getting married.
Cynthia Sass, MPH, RD, Health’s contributing nutrition editor, sees this happen firsthand to many of her clients, and has five tips for beating relationship pudge.
Tying the knot may lengthen your life. According Duke University Medical Center study, those who entered their 40s married had fewer risk factors for premature death than those who were divorced or never married. Another study from NYU Langone Medical Center in New York found that both married men and women may have stronger hearts than those who’ve never walked down the aisle. Men especially have stronger hearts thanks to their wives, with 5% lower odds of any vascular disease, according to the research.
RELATED: 21 Reasons You’ll Live Longer Than Your Friends
More good news for men who decide to couple up: a UCLA study found that men in stable relationships or marriages after the age of 25 have stronger bones. But the study had one catch: only those with supportive women in their lives actually saw the benefits from the long-term relationship. Those with ladies who weren’t as loving or emotionally supportive didn’t reap the same bone-building rewards.
Staying awake dreaming of that Tinder match date that went surprisingly well? Those feel-good crush-like symptoms may disrupt your sleep. According to a study of adolescents, when you’re in those initial stages of euphoria, you feel more energized and positive in the early morning and evenings, causing you to not sleep as well, or have restless sleep.
Dr. Kat says that all of those hormones bouncing around when you’re thinking about your could-be relationship can also affect your ability to focus during the day, too.
Follow CNN Health on Facebook and Twitter
Though many famous writers have credited depression as the source of their inspiration, a 2015 study published in the Journal of Family Issues found that when you’re in a relationship, your creativity may be ignited. Why? Researchers concluded that many people in love start to focus on the long-term, as opposed to the short-term, giving them a more holistic approach to their projects and passions, changing the way they process information. In other words, when you’re dating, you’re overanalyzing, but when you’re in love, you allow yourself to dream a little more.
Penn State sociologists who interviewed women in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and New York found that when they’re in a committed relationship, women are more keen to try something new—including in the bedroom. It also makes the whole experience of getting it on overall more satisfying for women, and could make them more open to experimenting. Good news for dudes who are willing to commit!
A passionate, all-consuming relationship may work just as well as medication at easing chronic pain, according to a 2010 Stanford University School of Medicine study. Intense feelings of love activate the same areas of the brain as painkillers, say researchers.
Doctors aren’t quite ready to prescribe love affairs as replacements for drugs, but are optimistic that understanding how neural-reward pathways triggered by love will help them develop new methods to treat pain.
This article originally appeared on Health.com.
Why does it seem to you that no one loves you at all, and what to do about it
How bitter and insulting it is when you feel unloved! “No one loves me! What to do?" you ask in desperation. To begin with, let's try to understand where this feeling of dislike came from, how to deal with it, and in what direction to move.
Tags:
Women's psychology
Past
Health
Family
Relationship
Getty Images
We will not convince you that there are people who love you in the world: you yourself know this very well.
⚡️⚡️⚡️ TO STAY CONNECTED NO matter what, LOOK FOR US IN Yandex.Zen, VK, Telegram, Odnoklassniki.
But what does it matter if you still feel unloved and are sure that in fact no one loves you at all in the whole wide world? It's time to admit that the problem is not in other people's feelings, the problem is in your feelings. And it's up to you to solve this problem.
Childhood
ADVERTISING - CONTINUED BELOW
Recognizing a problem is the first step towards solving it. You said out loud “I feel bad, no one loves me”, and now you can look for a solution. But first, let's figure out where you got this feeling from. It is hardly surprising that most of our adult problems are formed in the first years of life. Only here is the paradox: everyone knows about it, but they don’t want to try it on themselves.
And indeed, it is much easier to think that the true reasons for today's dissatisfaction are that "I am doing something wrong now" or "it is others who are to blame." Meanwhile, both are true: in order to become happy, you need to change a lot today, but you can’t dismiss the past as if it didn’t exist. The psychological law is the same for everyone: if you run away from an unpleasant past, it will catch up, if you work with it (and acknowledge it for a start), it will let you go.
The constant feeling of being "unloved" (real or perceived) is almost always a consequence of childhood experiences. The time when not only our psyche is being laid, but also the foundations of future relationships with people, our perception of ourselves and those around us. If the child was not given the opportunity to feel loved, then this feeling of self then simply will not come from anywhere. And this is not only about dysfunctional families. The feeling that no one loves you at all can also arise if you are the daughter of wonderful loving parents who do not know how to show their love.
The most striking illustration of the problem is the statement of one tenth grader: “My dad loves not me. He loves his adult daughter, who doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't go out with boys, and is a good student." Because of parents who love only for something, only "if you are a good girl" can make you feel unloved all your life. If you remember the feeling “I feel bad, no one loves me” from childhood (and not just it visited you at a moment of bad mood) and it does not dissipate, even when you understand in your mind that you are loved, it is pointless to convince yourself, proving the obvious, but scolding is bad. Only a psychologist can help here.
Too good
“She is so wonderful! Why is she so unlucky?" Your friends are surprised. And vied with each other to describe your virtues: your good looks, the ability to cook deliciously and a fair career achievement. And every word is true, but at the same time you cry at night from loneliness, because there is no one around.
A possible reason is that you are too good for the people you choose.
It's not that no one likes such perfect people. It’s just that it’s hard for men to “reach out” for you, subconsciously it’s unpleasant for them to compare themselves with such a successful girl, and they run away. If you want to change, analyze your life experience, understand why you choose just such men who feel flawed next to you. Finding the root of evil (perhaps it is also in childhood), you can deal with the problem.
Not him again...
If you talk with an "unloved" girl, it often turns out that she has fans, and sometimes not at all "ephemeral", but faithful and devoted. Some invite you to a movie or a restaurant, others give flowers and gifts, and even a childhood friend is always ready to come and do men's housework, and absolutely disinterestedly. At the same time, the girls are absolutely sure that no one loves them at all.
Sometimes the confidence in one's own "unlovedness" does not disappear even among married young ladies, and in fact, they are loved by their husbands.
And the reason is simple: not “nobody loves at all”, but “someone in particular doesn’t love”. And who? Of course, He is the One, the Main Love of All Life. This can be an actual man (for example, an ex-husband who broke up relatively recently) or a phantom from the past. Details vary. Sometimes the beloved is idealized (“only he was the very best and possessed all unthinkable perfections”), and sometimes we are talking about a truly outstanding person who is hard to find a replacement in his heart and in life.
In other cases, tired of this “not even love anymore”, “obsession”, the girl decided long ago that her former boyfriend was not worth a good word. She is fully aware of all his shortcomings and... can't do anything. This will require a lot of painstaking work: think about who and why you love? Listen to your friends and relatives who have been telling you for a long time about his unreliability and bad temper.
Maybe you yourself know this, or maybe you have wondered before why this person does not love anyone (and not just you).
Take a sheet of paper and write why you love him. It is likely that you no longer have any feelings, but only regret about his (feelings) loss. Wouldn't it be better then to choose someone more worthy? However, if the image of "the only one" obscures not only real people, but even the desire to build relationships with someone else, then all the cruel "reproaches of the scoundrel" did not help. Or they helped, but not completely. The path to new opportunities is still closed. And not because no one loves you at all, but because you are not yet ready to open your heart to someone else.
It is more difficult if your ex was endowed with a variety of valuable qualities for you. In this case, in order to permanently erase him from memory and find a new man of your dreams, you will need a resource. Is it possible? Yes, but you will need to work with a specialist.
If you are worried about the question of what to do if no one loves you, psychology will help you find the answer, determine the path to overcoming the problem and provide guidance along this path. But you have to walk the path on your own.
Is this love?
Each of us has our own ideas about what love is and our own wishes for the “package” in which we want to receive precious feelings. For some, this is a delicate and careful attitude towards each other, for others it is a sincere desire to participate in all the problems of a loved one, to delve into everything, to help in everything. But it will be difficult for a pair of two such halves to feel satisfaction from the relationship: the delicate one will consider that he is “suppressed” (“How can you talk about love with such expansion!”). And the one who helps will feel that he is constantly “rejected”, that the loved one “does not tell him anything about his life (“Is this love when there is no trust!”).
And everyone in this couple is unhappy, and everyone is convinced that no one loves him at all!
In order to find harmony, one can and should look for those with whom the “form” of love coincides. But to do this, you must first understand yourself. The chances of getting what you want are multiplied when you KNOW what you want. Therefore, take the time to formulate and write down on a piece of paper (it’s more reliable) what you consider a manifestation of true love, what words and actions you expect from a partner so as not to feel that no one loves you at all. The more specific the description, the more likely you are to get what you want. For example, “so that he earns a lot and spoils me” is not good, write exactly how much and all the pampering “by name”.
They don't like me, but then I...
Some, wondering what kind of people no one likes, conclude that since no one loves them, this gives carte blanche to any actions.
The trouble is if you are trying to benefit from your "dislike". The trouble is primarily for you: in this case, you will not solve the problem, because you do not want to really part with it. Here the bitter sensation becomes a sweet lure trap. And now you already find an excuse for any unseemly or simply harmful actions.
For example, you can not look after yourself (“I don’t care, because I don’t have anyone”, “who cares how I look”). Or be careless about your health (“I will die - no one will cry”). Or constantly whining or being rude to others (“I have a hard life, so I break down”). But the logic “I feel bad, no one loves me, so I have the right to everything” makes life easier in much the same way as alcohol or drugs. That is, at first glance, it is significant, but in fact it brings disproportionately more harm than good.
That pleasant feeling when you are clapped on stage is unforgettable
This summer, Maria studied at the Debate & Leadership Skills + Dance program at TASIS UK.
The student shared her impressions and learning experience with us. What was the most memorable and interesting day for you?
There was not one most interesting day. Although, the last one, with a concert, awards and hugs with everyone, I will remember for a long time. That pleasant feeling when you are clapped on the stage (especially if you are trying not to fall from a series of turns), the drive that is transmitted to you from everyone who is with you on stage, the joy for friends distinguished in the disciplines. This is not forgotten.
What was your first impression of the school? Has it changed during the course of study?
The first impression is that everything is so beautiful, big, unfamiliar. Naturally, in the process everything became familiar, dear and loved.
What subjects, modules and disciplines did you study?
Debate - construction of an argument, persuasiveness of statements, reasoning, grammar, public speaking.
Dancing - Broadway jazz, jazz, contemporary.
How were the classes, what projects did you carry out? What project was the most interesting for you?
In the classroom, we learned how to correctly compose a speech, answer with arguments, and also learned how to correctly formulate thoughts and convey them to the opponent. The most interesting were the debates on the last day (especially the fact that our team won).
Describe one of your days at school.
In the morning we got up, got ready and went to breakfast. At 9 I had an hour of dancing (very good exercise), then 2 hours of lessons and lunch, one last lesson and 45 minutes of free time before sports. 1.5 hours of sports and then run to change clothes in order to catch the bus to the city. In the neighboring town we spent about 2 hours, came and immediately had dinner. After dinner, about an hour just procrastinated or played, then an hour of homework and another 2 hours of socialization. Everything is always different here: sometimes I wanted to go into the yard and just rage with friends, sometimes I stayed inside with my roommates and watched a movie, if there was a match, everyone ran to the TV-room to watch it.
At 10 check in and at 11 we went to bed. On Friday evenings, we went to all sorts of activities (theatre, skating rink) and arrived very late (about twelve or an hour).
What did students do outside of class?
Whatever they did. We watched the World Cup, played different games, watched series, talked, ate food from the city, played volleyball (how many times I have already mentioned it), took pictures.
What do you think about England and its culture?
I was in England for the first time and I really liked it. As before, the first place in my heart is occupied by New York, well, and now the second is London.
Where did you go, what places did you visit?
We went to London itself, to Oxford, to Dover, to the cities in the area.
What is your academic achievement? How confident do you feel in the language?
We won the debate, so there is definitely a result. It became more comfortable to talk about politics, as it was often touched upon.
What are the main differences between teaching in a foreign school and the school where you study in Russia?
Teachers are more open, the classrooms are more spacious and lighter, there is no pressure from peers and teachers.
What advice would you give to children who are planning a trip to a foreign school?
Do not be afraid of anything. Approach a group of people you like openly. Well, don't get upset if it doesn't work out. And be sure to make friends with those who live with you in the same house.
What were you afraid of before the trip? Were these fears real?
I was very afraid not to join the company. No, of course, in the end we all happily played our favorite volleyball together.
Was it easy to adapt? What would you do differently if you went to this school a second time?
It was very easy. All staff were very friendly, always helped, explained. From my mistakes - , I would take more initiative in communication, and not just wait for others to come up.
