Feel alone in college


Why It Happens and More I Psych Central

Being away from home and far from support can make the college experience a lonely one.

College is an exciting experience. You’re finally on your own and can make your own decisions.

But college can also be lonely. People often go into the experience thinking that it’ll be nothing but fun, but it’s typically harder than that.

Going to college is a big adjustment and comes with many unexpected changes. This can leave you feeling a little homesick, which can manifest as feelings of sadness, isolation, and disconnection from others.

Attending a college or university in a place other than your hometown often means you may not know anyone else there. You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely in college.

But try not to stress too much. There are ways you can ease the loneliness.

You might feel lonely in college for several reasons, and identifying the cause can help form a plan.

Not having your support system nearby

Not having friends and family nearby can be one of the primary reasons for feeling lonely in college.

If you’re used to having your loved ones close, going away to college can be a big adjustment.

Watching everyone else start romantic relationships

You’ll feel lonely watching your new friends interact in an intimate way, especially if you haven’t found a partner yourself.

This situation becomes more common later in the school year when people have had a chance to get to know one another.

New routine and educational path

The unfamiliarity of a new routine can also trigger feelings of loneliness. Sometimes you’ll question your educational path, furthering the negativity.

When this happens, it seems that the future is uncertain, and you’ll crave comfort from others.

Feeling like no one cares

You may begin to feel lonely because it seems like no one cares about you or your well-being. Your friends, dormmates, and professors may not seem interested in what you’re doing or how you’re feeling.

But they likely do care — they just may show it in a different way.

Anxiety and depression

If you get anxious or depressed at college, it can impact your ability to meet others. Both conditions can make it less likely for you to seek new friendships and connections.

Additionally, it can further isolate you, increasing your feelings of loneliness.

Learning to balance daily activities

You might feel lonely as you learn to handle your daily domestic activities. When you lived at home, your parents or guardians likely helped you with these things.

Now, you’re responsible for taking care of yourself, cooking, cleaning, and balancing your education and social life.

Comparisons

College can be competitive, and it often leaves you comparing yourself to others. You might feel out of place, looking for where you can fit in.

If you’re feeling lonely in college, you’re not alone. There are many — maybe those sitting right beside you in class or even your dormmate — who may feel this way.

A 2018 study found that 32. 4% of university students in Germany report feeling moderately lonely, while 3.2% report feeling severely lonely. The researchers defined loneliness in two ways:

  • Emotional loneliness: caused by a lack of close and intimate relationships
  • Social loneliness: due to a lack of social relationships with friends or peers

In this study, students reported feeling emotional loneliness (7.7%) more than social loneliness (3.2%). The researchers identified several factors that contributed to the students’ loneliness, including:

  • gender
  • immigration status
  • family status (e.g., single, married, or in a relationship)
  • residence (e.g., living alone, sharing a dorm room)
  • weight
  • physical activity
  • alcohol consumption

A 2020 study surveyed more than 50,000 students ages 18 to 35 years old in Norway. The youngest and oldest students reported the highest level of loneliness. The three main factors that played a role in loneliness included being female, single, and living alone.

Additionally, students saw an increase in loneliness from 2014 (16.5%) to 2018 (23.6%). This was especially true for male students.

While these studies found that loneliness in college isn’t uncommon, more research is needed.

Feeling lonely in college can happen anytime, but it’s more likely during specific times. Every student will experience loneliness in different ways and for various lengths of time.

While some may only experience loneliness during the holidays, others may feel it more strongly at the beginning or end of a semester.

During times of tradition

Living at home comes with expected traditions around important dates such as your birthday and holidays. When you go away to college, you can’t always partake in those traditions because of classes or exams.

Halfway through the first semester

Many college students experience loneliness about halfway through their first semester. All the excitement leading up to and at the beginning of college makes you forget about the major transition you just went through.

Once you’ve settled in, about halfway through the first semester, the feelings may slowly begin to creep in.

During the initial transition

The first week or two of college can be defeating, leaving students feeling lonely.

You may begin to realize that you won’t see your loved ones and high school friends as often, and the feelings hit. As you adjust to your new life, the negativity may begin to subside.

When they see other people connect

It can hurt to see others connect if you haven’t found a close group of friends yet. You might think connection comes so easy for others but not you.

During challenges

When you have to deal with challenges and obstacles alone, you might experience loneliness.

Your family and friends were always there to help you, but you’re on your own now. This can leave you feeling overwhelmed and yearning for connection.

If you’re experiencing loneliness in college, try to remember that you’re not alone and there are others who may feel the same way. Here are some strategies you can try to help ease these feelings.

Recognize and acknowledge your feelings

Recognizing what you’re feeling is a good first step. When you acknowledge your feelings, it can help validate them and give you guidance for moving forward.

Once you admit that you’re lonely, you can begin to think about why you’re feeling this way and how you can manage it.

Adjust your mindset

If your loneliness makes you feel like you’re not yourself anymore, consider a mindset change.

Negative thoughts can distort your perspective and make your situation seem worse than it is. Shifting your mindset can help move your thoughts away from the negative to improve the situation.

You might think you’re lonely because you don’t have anyone to talk with or spend time around. This thought process may lead you to other negative thoughts such as maybe others don’t want to spend time with you.

This might cause you to stay in your dorm room and not socialize with others, allowing more negative thoughts and self-doubt to creep in.

Reframing your thoughts can help you realize that you’re not alone and other students may feel the same way. And this may lead to new opportunities to socialize and meet people like you.

Meet new people

Meeting new people and making friends can help you feel less lonely. Learning to juggle a busy schedule of classes, studying, and work can make it hard to meet new people.

Try to switch things up and strike up a conversation with people near you — such as your dorm roommate or your lab partner.

If you don’t know what to say, ask about an upcoming assignment or how they like the course. Simple conversations like this can help you get to know people and find friends that have things in common with you.

Even chatting only a few minutes a day can ease feelings of loneliness and help you develop friendships. Consider asking them out for coffee after class or to start a study group.

This can be a low-key way to get to know someone better and gain new relationships.

Join clubs, groups, or extracurricular activities

Getting involved on campus can help relieve feelings of loneliness. It will keep you busy and allow you to have fun and meet new people.

College is the ideal time to learn about yourself and the things you enjoy. You can explore new hobbies and activities to see where your passions lie.

Joining a sorority or fraternity is also a great way to find new connections and support while building long lasting friendships.

Finding activities you enjoy outside of academics allows you to connect with people who have the same interests as you. Additionally, you’ll have less downtime to think about all the people you miss back home.

Call someone you feel comfortable with

In-person communication is ideal, but you can alleviate loneliness by staying connected with your loved ones. If your feelings become overwhelming, consider calling someone you love who will help cheer you up.

Hearing their voice can help you feel less alone and allow you to share a more intimate connection.

Connect with yourself

While you need to interact with others, you can ease feelings of loneliness by connecting with yourself. You can connect with the world around you by learning to reflect and reconnect with yourself.

There’s a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. As you reconnect with yourself, you’ll feel your loneliness lessen. It also helps prevent you from being untrue to yourself when trying to fit in with others.

You can start by minimizing your time on social media to focus on what’s happening around you. It helps you become more mindful as you tune into your surroundings and emotions.

Get professional help

If the loneliness doesn’t seem to get better after trying these ideas or it’s beginning to interfere with your daily life, consider reaching out to a healthcare or mental health professional.

Many colleges or universities have mental health services on campus or ways you can find help off-campus. You can talk with the administration or health services on your college campus to find out if they offer these types of services and how you can access them.

Prolonged loneliness can lead to depression and other mental health concerns, according to a 2020 review. Talking with a mental health professional can help you find positive ways to move forward.

Feeling lonely in college happens to many students. You’re not alone, and acknowledging this can help you overcome these feelings.

Joining an extracurricular group, inviting a classmate to coffee, or starting a study group is just some ideas to help you connect with others and develop new friendships.

If you’re unsure whether the feelings you’re experiencing are loneliness, you can take our loneliness quiz to find out.

Students Give Best Advice On Coping With Loneliness in College

Loneliness is something that a lot of college students struggle with. I think that a lot of people have expectations when arriving at college that it is going to be the best time of their lives and that they will instantly have tons of friends to hang out with and go on adventures with.

However, the reality is that in college, it can sometimes be quite difficult to make friends, and it often feels like everyone already has a friend group except you. The truth is that a lot of people feel lonely in college, even if they don’t show it.

Being lonely in college is normal, especially if you go to school in a new place that isn’t your hometown. Here are some stories from college juniors, seniors, and recent graduates, on how they overcame loneliness and some advice to help get through it.

The bottom line is that everyone in college is in the same boat, just trying to find themselves and make friends. People are usually very open to making friends at any point in college, you just might have to reach out and make more of an effort than you previously had to do to make friends.

Everyone in college is in the same boat: trying to find themselves and make friends. (Twenty20 @titovailona)

Loneliness is totally normal

“I believe that loneliness in college is a normal thing because every student has a unique schedule. Whether it’s being a full-time student to balancing work and school, it seems that students don’t have time to socialize outside of campus. Even before the pandemic, I had trouble meeting people at school that I could hang out with because they simply say they don’t have time.

As stressed as most students are, I can understand why they don’t want to. Tuition is expensive and taking classes with unreasonable professors can also make it a challenge. During this difficult time, I found that reaching out to people in my classes through email has helped me find friends. Although we are only meeting virtually, taking the class together and discussing the topics leads to building a stronger relationship.” – Vivian Gin, senior at California State University, Sacramento

“Feeling lonely while in college is kind of inevitable but it can serve as a learning process and helps you grow as a person. Also, once you do start making friends, it is people who are going to bring positivity to your life and that you’re able to make deeper connections with. ” – Tooba Ajmeri, senior at Arizona State University

Joining clubs or Greek life is a great way to make connections

“My freshman year in college I lived in a dorm that was mostly for second-year students. I felt lonely and struggled to make friends because most of the students around me already had established friend groups and social lives and I didn’t know where I fit in.

I pushed myself to join clubs and talk to people in the dining halls and I ended up meeting some of my closest friends that way. I realized that making friends isn’t always comfortable and that loneliness is a normal part of the college experience so it’s okay to embrace that and use it to challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone.” – Irene Chen, senior at University of California, Santa Barbara

“As a first-generation college student, moving to a new city for school was so fun and exciting but something I wasn’t ready for was how lonely it could be. I was going back to my hometown frequently and not letting myself experience college as I had always imagined because I was intimidated and felt alone.

After my first semester, I decided I was going to make a stronger effort to become a part of the community to feel more connected. I started by joining clubs related to my major to meet more people who shared my passion and started to make connections. I also wanted to make connections that were not only academically based. That is when I decided to join a sorority, so I could feel more connected to my university on a larger scale.

In joining my sorority, I found such strong inspiring women who push me to work hard and strive to be a better version of myself every day. I built my support system at school and I still had so much support from my family and friends in my hometown. I stayed connected to my brother and parents on FaceTime.

I would call my friends while I walked to class and just make time to talk to people that made me feel comfortable and safe. If you’re not a little uncomfortable, you’re not pushing yourself to grow enough.” – America Cardenas, recent graduate, Arizona State University

“Moving across the country for school to a state where I knew nobody was pretty hard for me because I immediately felt like I was alone. I think the way I overcame that was getting out of my comfort zone to try and get to know as many people as I could.

Joining a sorority immediately helped me because it didn’t just give me friends, but a family to lean on whenever I needed it most. Ever since then I’ve gotten so many rewarding and meaningful experiences that it’s made me more comfortable in who I am thus making it easier to feel more comfortable around others. I’ve also gained so many mentors that have helped me become a stronger, more independent person.

So my advice for someone struggling with that feeling of loneliness, know that taking risks or saying hi to someone could be the start of an amazing friendship. Open yourself up to those possibilities because your kindness could go a long way for someone else.” – Sophie Robinson, junior at University of California, Santa Barbara

Go to office hours (even zoom office hours) and get to know your professor and other students

“Because college is busy and there might not be time to make friends as easily, I found that going to professor and TA office hours helps a lot in enabling me to meet classmates that I have never talked to before. When I had a lab partner or someone to work with, I felt less lonely and we always were able to bond over the class. I also found that going to the gym was a good way to see people that you don’t see very often.

Also, clubs and different recreational teams like dance, etc. are super social activities and within these clubs or activities, there are often frequent socials and group activities that can help someone deal with loneliness.” – Rebecca Li, senior at University of California, Berkeley

Be yourself and the right people will come to you

“I think college is a major transition period. Transitioning into adulthood is hard as is, and college can feel like a weird mix of still a kid but not grown. I think it’s the time we learn a lot about ourselves. Because of this, I struggled to figure out who I was and where I fit in, now that I was in a world where the high school stigma wasn’t relevant anymore.

Finding the right group of friends was a major challenge for me. I think the most important thing I did for myself stopped trying hard to get people to like me or be around me, and instead find myself, and eventually, the right people gravitated toward me. I think honestly the best way to overcome loneliness is to become your own best friend. Then, the best people naturally come your way.” – Halle Barner, recent graduate, Arizona State University

“I think experiencing loneliness in college is quite common. College is a time where individuals start to discover themselves, but also it’s a time where we often feel lost, not knowing where we should be heading. However, with such experience, I think rather than running away from it, we should turn around and embrace the feeling of loneliness.

I think some of my proudest growth occurred at a time of loneliness. Too many people try too hard to mold themselves to become “normal” so they can fit in and find more acquaintances. But in such actions, it pushes you more toward true loneliness because you lose your sense of meaning and just simply follow the crowd. I would encourage everyone to highlight their uniqueness and be proud of it.

During the time of the pandemic, I highly recommend people to be the person that reaches out first. Making new connections is awesome but don’t forget to strengthen the relationships you already have.” – Qike Wang, junior at Arizona State University

Remember that loneliness is temporary

“First, know the feeling of being lonely goes away. It may take a few months (mine was about two), but it disappears. At first, it’s so hard because you meet a ton of people right off the bat and you’re trying to make friends, yet it might seem and feel that at the end of the day you’re not sure you fit in with any group.

At the moment it may feel like forever, but in a few years looking back it feels like someone flipped a switch. One day I felt so alone and then I had friends I couldn’t imagine not having. The best way to handle it is to keep putting yourself in social situations because one of those times, you’re going to find the right people and you won’t feel so lonely anymore.

When feeling lonely, if you feel more comfortable at the moment to be alone for a minute, take that moment. If you feel that you should put yourself out there, then go and see who you meet. It’s an uncomfortable growing pain, but it’s part of the college experience that leads you to find forever friends.” – Emily Rentschler, recent graduate, Arizona State University

“College is difficult, especially in the beginning. Not only did I know almost nobody, but it’s a new place, a new living situation, new people around you with often different experiences and opinions, and all of this seems foreign and uncomfortable. On top of that our imagination of what college is has been shaped for years by the media as this amazing place, only fun, with little studying environment.

So immediately our expectations are shattered and it feels hard to meet people causing us to become lonely. Luckily for me, my school had an amazing orientation program that I am extremely glad I went to because I immediately met 15+ people and became pretty good friends with them. And those friends I made were in the area around where I live which made it easier to meet their roommates as well. I would say college is a web of people.

Unlike high school, there aren’t cliques as much, or only one group of friends, but instead there are so many people, so you randomly meet people here and there. So as a result, it feels super lonely and hard at first because walking around campus, I felt like I know almost nobody, but then you remember that the campus is 20,000 people or more and that it’s okay that you don’t recognize everyone. But also, as time passes you start to get to know way more people which helps make it feel more and more like home.

For me meeting friends of friends, joining a club, playing intramural sports, and getting involved in an on-campus job over my first two years helped so much in meeting many people and making it feel like home.” – Jacob Young, senior at California Polytechnic University

Don’t compare your college experience to other people’s

“I would say it’s good to hear about your friends’ experiences at other colleges but at the end of the day, don’t compare your experience to theirs. College is about having a fresh start and everyone is just as eager to meet new people as you are!

Making friends takes time as does adjusting to the academic expectations, but everything always works out and there is usually a good amount of resources (advisors or centers) available if you feel like you are struggling and need some support.” – Julia Tomasulo, junior at University of California, Santa Barbara

Even when you’re around people, you can still feel lonely — and that’s okay

“As a senior, I am fortunate enough to have already formed lifelong friendships and found my people that I am constantly surrounded by while living in a sorority house. However, I still seem to feel lonely. Currently, I feel lonely walking around campus that is lifeless half the time because the majority of students take their classes online.

I feel lonely in lecture halls because the closest I can get to classmates and peers is six feet. However, loneliness hits the hardest when I am taking classes virtually over Zoom where I crave physical interaction with my professors and other classmates.” – Izzy Tabs, senior at Syracuse University

Creating a schedule can help

“When I first moved out of home and into college, I often felt lonely and felt discouraged each day. To overcome this, I created a schedule and fill out my days with busy work. I would go to work, class, pick from a handful of workshops that I was interested in to attend, attended club meetings, and went to office hours to get to know my professors better.

This made my day go by really fast. By the time I was done with all of this, it was late already and all I could think of was how tired I was and would go to sleep. I also FaceTimed my family occasionally. Face to face is more recommended than a phone call, but keeping a busy week with lots of activities that require interaction was what helped me most.

If you don’t feel busy enough, get a job, or connect with people on LinkedIn to schedule phone chats. Any interaction with other people, even if they’re not your close friends, can help combat loneliness” – Jonathan Chavez, recent graduate, University of California, Santa Barbara

Take time to call or visit family

“I deal with loneliness by making time to call and visit family. They live in Arizona with me so I try to see them every weekend and hang out with them. Being with family makes a difference and makes me feel less lonely. Also, I always make time to hang out with my friends on the weekends.

If they don’t reach out, I will reach out to them because human interaction is so important. It usually works out and I end the day feeling very refreshed. Being with other people is part of maintaining good mental health and that’s so important especially during this time when a lot of us are just social distancing and staying home.” – Amber Li, senior at Arizona State University

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This Video Explains Everything About Being Lonely as a College Freshman

30 ways to overcome feelings of loneliness

There are many reasons why a person can feel lonely both in relationships and outside of them. Whatever the cause, these 30 remedies can help.

"Why am I lonely?" is one of the most researched questions on the Internet. There are billions of people on this earth who have many ways to connect with each other, but loneliness seems to be an epidemic. We have never had so many ways to connect with other people, and we have never had such social connections, but there are a huge number of us who feel alone among the crowd.

How to overcome loneliness when you are lonely

Loneliness is defined differently by everyone, and there are many reasons why you can be lonely. Sometimes it comes from outside, but more often from within. The key to overcoming loneliness is learning to live with yourself. Try these 30 things to feel less alone.

# 1 Throw a party. When you have a party or party, it forces you to interact with people you don't normally see. It may also encourage you to make new friends or invite new people. [Read:

How to talk at a party and impress]

# 2 Join the gym. Exercise will not only help you get rid of depression, but it will also be a great place to meet people with similar interests.

# 3 Take a walk. When you go for a walk in the neighborhood, you are likely to run into people. This will give you a better sense of community.

# 4 Get a pet. Having a furry friend around who loves you unconditionally is a great way to not feel lonely. They may not be able to talk to you, but they will be waiting to welcome you home after a long day. [Check out: 7 effective ways to fight and break out of loneliness]

# 5 Start a conversation with a stranger. Promise to talk to a new person every day. Even if it's some random person sitting in the elevator, connecting with the other person will make you feel less alone and give you the confidence to form new relationships.

# 6 Send messages to your old friends from time to time. Often, not only do we feel lonely, but also the people in our lives with whom we have lost touch. Sending a random email or text message to a friend leaves the door open for their response and makes you feel like you're talking to you. Analyzing your friendships will help you understand how loved you are.

# 7 Join a yoga class. Yoga is a great way to reconnect with your body and soul. This is not only a great way to meet new people, but also a powerful way to give you time to think, meditate, and be quiet so you can listen to your inner voice. [Read: Why is inner beauty more important than outer beauty?]

#8 Plan an evening for a guy or girl. We are so caught up in daily activities that we do not spend time talking with friends. Find a group of girls or guys and start weekly dinners. You will be surprised to learn how many people want to get rid of the daily routine.

# 9 Go to the cinema alone. One trip to the cinema may seem lonelier to you. Loneliness often makes us fly normally alone. Enjoying entertainment is a very powerful tool. Immerse yourself in an action thriller - it will distract you from problems and get you out of the house.

# 10 Volunteer. There are always those who are less fortunate than you. Visiting a nursing home or volunteering at a hospital will help you better understand how lucky you are. It can help you count your blessings and see that life is what you make it and being alone is not what you want to be. [Try: 5 Ways Volunteering Can Help Heal Depression]

# 11 Go hiking. Being surrounded by nature is like a breath of fresh air. Hiking is not only a great way to work out and clear your head, but there is something special about it too. reconnecting with the world around you, which can help you feel less alone, even when you're on your own.

# 12 Quit Facebook. Many people look at social networks as a way to connect. For some, they can be toxic. Seeing how everyone always looks so happy can make you feel left out and like something is missing. No one posts photos in which he feels alone and isolated. You only see what they want from you. In order not to feel lonely, give up Facebook and take a special step to meet the people you love in real life again. [Read: How to find real friends outside of social media]

# 13 Join a support group. There are many support groups for all occasions. If you're sad because you've lost someone in your life, or are facing major life stress, finding like-minded people can help you get out of a rut. A support group can help you feel accepted and connected to others.

# 14 Take a class. If you enjoy cooking, visit your local community college and see what they have to offer. Improving yourself or doing something you love can make you feel less like you're just doing something. Finding passion can strengthen you and make your life more fulfilling.

#15 Ask yourself. If there is someone in your life who makes you feel lonely, it is important to understand why and how they make you feel isolated. Is it their attitude towards you or something that you feel and transfer to them? Constantly questioning your loneliness is important in sorting out your feelings. [Trying: Loneliness in a Relationship - 4 Whys and 7 Ways to Fix It]

#16 Hire a life coach. Sometimes being lonely means feeling that life is not what you expected. A life coach will help you set new goals and suggest strategies to achieve them. When you strive for something, you won't feel so stuck and helpless.

# 17 See a therapist. There is no shame in admitting that you need help. A therapist can help you deal with some of the reasons why you feel lonely and guide you on the path to overcoming your loneliness. Sometimes there are undiagnosed factors such as depression or social phobia that may need to be addressed.

# 18 Keep a diary. There are likely to be days when you feel more alone than others. If you keep a daily diary of what is happening in your life, you will soon begin to notice a pattern of behavior that leads you to feel lonely. Only by realizing what makes you feel isolated can you change them, but you won't know what they are until you make a conscious effort to examine your thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. [Read: Low self-esteem - 5 steps to see yourself in the best light]

#19 Stop writing. It's hard to connect with people when you're not talking to anyone. Texting is a one-way street and often keeps you from connecting with the people in your life. It might be easier to just hit the send button, but taking the time to pick up the phone to talk to the people in your life will help you feel a lot more engaged.

# 20 Don't take it out - have dinner. Instead of taking food to bring home and eating alone, dine alone. Being around other people makes you feel less alone. Sit down and eat at the restaurant.

#21 Don't go home after work. Instead of retreating after work, make a special plan for at least one day a week. When we run home to relax, we find that we get home and immediately feel alone. Make a plan to do something alone or with a colleague. The idea is to stay out of the way and be in the mix of things instead of going straight home. [Always at home? Check: 14 Signs You're a Homebody Who Needs to Get Out More]

# 22 Join an intramural sports league. There are many adult sports leagues. Whether it's a swim workshop, an adult football league, or a local softball team, working together in a team atmosphere will help you feel connected. Exercise is sure to lift your spirits. Sports are a great way to pass the time and make you feel like you're part of a group.

# 23 Find a hobby. Find something you enjoy doing, whether it's sewing, antiques, flea market hunting, or being a mechanic. Immersing yourself in what you love will keep you from feeling lonely and will also create a goal to work towards and make you feel more successful.

# 24 Create a book club. Book clubs are a great way to meet people. An in-depth conversation about literature will help you delve a little deeper into the world of the superficial. Loneliness is often caused by a lack of real personal relationships. A book club will help you talk about your experiences and encourage you to think more consciously about life. [Need a push? Read: How to Motivate Yourself to Do Almost Anything]

#25 Join a church. Churches are one of the best places to socialize. If you are not a religious person, you do not have to become one. The church in your area is likely to have many programs that question the human condition, the purpose of life, and the unknown. Helps you feel more connected to something outside of yourself will help get rid of feelings of loneliness.

# 26 Introduce yourself to your neighbor. Not knowing your neighbors is common, but it has to be. If you live somewhere near your neighbors, take the initiative and introduce yourself. This can end up not only in making a friend: if you ever need a cup of sugar, you have someone to ask.

#27 Take a break from your relationship. If you are in a romantic relationship, it might be a good idea to take a break. This way you can see if you are lonely with them because there is something missing in you or if being with them makes you more lonely than without them. Sometimes we convince ourselves that things lie within us when they are more external in nature. [Read: How relationship breaks work]

# 28 Take a vacation. Sometimes you can get into a rut looking at the same four walls. Take the saved vacation time and go with you. While away, focus on yourself, take part in an adventure or spend a weekend at the spa. This will help you reconnect with the most important person in your life: you.

# 29 Say "No" Never say "no" can turn your life into one big duty. It can also make you focus on the wrong things. Learning to say "no" means you can make a choice and find what makes you happy. The happier you are, the less lonely!

# 30 Fix past relationships. Sometimes we have broken relationships that keep us stuck in loneliness. Finishing work is a great way to move on and let that space fill up with someone or something new. By leaving the past in the past, and by building or repairing relationships, you can move forward and find what makes you happy.

[Read more: Three steps to take and eventually overcome loneliness]

The feeling of loneliness does not have to be permanent. It may take a conscious effort to move beyond feelings of isolation, but eventually you will begin to see your world expand and discover the full potential of making connections around you.

Did you like what you just read? Follow us on InstagramFacebookTwitterPinterest and we promise that we will be your talisman in a beautiful personal life.

What to do if you feel lonely

Loneliness is a normal human experience. But if left unchecked, it can take a toll on your emotional and physical health. Some studies have shown that loneliness is as unhealthy as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

What to do when you feel lonely Here are 10 things you can do right now when you feel lonely:

Admit that you feel lonely

Don't waste your energy fighting your feelings or trying to suppress your emotions. Everyone feels lonely sometimes.

And feeling alone doesn't mean you're a failure, and it doesn't mean you're weak. It simply means that you are human.

Research has shown that labeling your feelings can reduce their intensity. 2

So simply naming loneliness can help your brain understand how you feel and instantly help you feel a little less alone.

develop a plan

Sometimes you need to solve a problem. Other times, you need to figure out how you feel about the problem.

Consider whether the best way to deal with feelings of loneliness is to solve the problem (connect with someone) or decide how you feel about the problem (take care of your emotions).

If you feel lonely on a Friday night and have friends or relatives to call, you may decide that the best way to solve the problem is to contact someone. You may find that talking on the phone helps. Or you can invite someone to spend time with you.

If you contact people and no one answers, you may feel even more lonely. But then you will know how to approach the problem from a different angle. Pay attention to how you feel about being alone instead of trying to connect with someone.

You can choose to participate in a healthy coping strategy that makes you feel better. Drawing, knitting, or gardening are just a few examples of solitary activities that can help you deal with loneliness in a healthy way.

Connect with people from your past

Sometimes it's easier to make friends with old friends than to make new ones. Maybe you've lost touch with your college roommate over the years. Or maybe you have a cousin you don't talk to very often.

You can contact and see how they are doing. Talk about how you lost the ability to catch up and how you would like to reconnect.

You may find it easy to connect with former classmates, people from your old neighborhood, or former co-workers because you already have things in common. Remembering the old days can help you reconnect and you may find yourself able to connect in the future.

To begin with, it is normal to communicate with people through social networks or text messages.

But try contacting by phone, video chat or in person. Face-to-face communication can help ease your loneliness more than text messages.

Join a group or club

In addition to potentially connecting with people from your past, you may also decide to connect with new people.

Look for social events that might suit you. From book clubs and garden clubs to walking groups and business groups, you'll likely find that there are plenty of ways to connect with people in your area.

You can check your local newspaper or visit a site like Meetup to find out what's going on in your community.

Attend an event and prioritize socializing with multiple people. You may find that attending several different events or joining several different clubs helps you meet more people.

Read a book

Reading a book helps you get into the minds of characters or narrators. This will help you understand how other people think and help you feel more connected.

You may also want to read a book that you don't normally read. Whether it's a self-help book in the library or listening to a science fiction audiobook, books can expand your world and help you feel less alone.

Find an online forum

One of the many great things about the Internet is that you can connect with people all over the world. You can find people with similar interests, concerns and goals with just a few clicks of a button.

You can search forums where people discuss topics that interest you, from rare collectibles to unsolved mysteries.

You may find that talking to other people about things you're passionate about or topics you care about helps you feel more connected, even if you've never met them in person.

learn something new

Getting excited about what you're learning—whether it's a new language or a new skill—can make you feel better. It can also open doors to meeting new people.

Sign up for a cooking class or karate class. Or look for an online course you can take. Sites like Udemy offer affordable courses in subjects ranging from fitness to graphic design.

Take up a hobby

Creative walks can improve your mood and help you live in the moment. This means less catastrophic thoughts about "being single forever" and less thinking about negative past incidents like "I can't believe she said that to me."

if you don't have a Hobbie, choose one instead. Try different activities, from fishing to pottery to discovering things you love.

do an act of kindness

Doing something nice for other people can make you feel better. It can also help you feel more connected to the community.

Whether you're participating in an official community fundraiser or deciding to do a good deed for your neighbor, there are many things you can do to make a good deed.

If you are struggling to find something you can do, contact local charities, hospitals, nursing homes or animal shelters to find out how you can volunteer or offer help.

Get professional help

If you are struggling with loneliness and don't know what to do, seek professional help.

Talking to a mental health professional can help you make more meaningful connections with people and discover strategies for coping with loneliness in a healthy way.

It is also important to seek professional help if you are coping with your loneliness in an unhealthy way. Drinking too much alcohol, turning to food for solace, or other unhealthy habits can make your loneliness worse in the long run.

A word from Verywell

It's not uncommon for people to feel lonely from time to time, but now people may experience those feelings more often due to increased remote work and reduced face-to-face time.

Whether you're dealing with occasional bouts of loneliness or chronic feelings of isolation, know that you're not alone in feeling alone (even if you think you are).


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