Explain how accepting yourself can improve your self esteem

The Path to Self-Acceptance

Jump to section

What is self-acceptance?

How does self-acceptance affect your day-to-day life?

What drives self-acceptance?

Self-acceptance quotes

Self-esteem vs. self-acceptance

What is my level of self-acceptance?

5 self-acceptance exercises

Let radical self-acceptance empower you

A lack of self-acceptance can hold you back in every area of your life. It affects your confidence and can prevent you from reaching your full potential.

People with high self-acceptance are more resilient to criticism. They understand that it’s okay to accept themselves while also working for continuous self-improvement.

But what is self-acceptance, really? And why are some people more self-accepting than others? How can it help you, and what can you do to cultivate more of it? Let’s find out.

What is self-acceptance? 

Self-acceptance is the act of accepting yourself and all your personality traits exactly as they are. You accept them no matter whether they are positive or negative. This includes your physical and mental attributes. 

Self-acceptance means recognizing that your value goes beyond your personal attributes and actions. This is sometimes known as radical self-acceptance.

Self-acceptance gives you more confidence in yourself and makes you less vulnerable to criticism. It means to deeply and totally accept every aspect of yourself unconditionally and without exception.

To achieve self-acceptance, you must learn to accept the parts of yourself you consider negative or undesirable. 

It’s also important to acknowledge and celebrate your positive qualities and achievements. Reviewing your goals and your progress on them reminds you of your strengths.

This is why so many of us struggle with self-acceptance. We tend to hide, neglect, and reject the parts of ourselves we consider unacceptable. We would rather change them than accept them.

Although it might seem counterintuitive, total self-acceptance can actually help us change the aspects of ourselves that we might be less fond of. Having an awareness of our limitations is the first step on the path of personal growth and is a sign of emotional intelligence.

Self-acceptance doesn’t just mean accepting our negative qualities and giving up on changing them. 

On the contrary, it means being aware of our weaknesses without having any emotional attachment to them. This self-awareness can help us improve our behavior and build better habits.

How does self-acceptance affect your day-to-day life? 

Research shows that self-acceptance is fundamental for overall mental health and well-being. The evidence seems to indicate a direct link between low levels of self-acceptance and mental illness.

But there are other ways that low self-acceptance affects your daily life, work, relationships, and well-being. Here are five examples:

1. Self-acceptance helps you control your emotions

A lack of self-acceptance can affect the part of your brain responsible for controlling your emotions. This can lead to mental imbalance and emotional outbursts as a result of elevated anxiety, stress, or anger.

A lack of self-acceptance limits your capacity for happiness. It also affects your psychological and emotional well-being. It keeps you focused on the negative aspects of yourself, and these negative thoughts create negative emotions.

By contrast, high levels of self-acceptance are linked to more positive emotions and greater psychological well-being. Self-acceptance can boost your mood and shield you from the effects of stress and depression.

2. Self-acceptance helps you forgive yourself

Learning to accept yourself helps you be less self-critical. It helps you create a more positive, compassionate, and balanced view of yourself. 

According to Dr. Srini Pillay of Harvard Medical School, acceptance and forgiveness go hand-in-hand. He says that the inability to accept and forgive ourselves causes us to split into different parts. 

These two parts — the one that needs to be forgiven and the one that needs to forgive — are at odds with one another. Self-acceptance can help you bridge the gap between them, enabling you to forgive yourself for your mistakes and move on.

This is essential for your well-being, as dwelling on the past will keep you stuck in the cycle of negative thoughts and emotions.

3. Self-acceptance gives you more self-confidence

Self-acceptance can give you more confidence in yourself. It helps you understand that your perceived negative qualities don’t define you or your worth.

When you are confident, you are more likely to take action in spite of your fears. In contrast, a lack of self-acceptance can hold you back and stop you from going after your dreams.

Self-acceptance helps you realize that failure doesn’t define you and is always a learning opportunity on the path to success.

Confidence can also give you greater independence. It allows you to make decisions for yourself without needing the approval of others.

4. Self-acceptance leads to self-compassion

According to self-compassion researcher Kristin Neff, self-compassion is more important for our mental and emotional well-being than self-esteem.  

She describes self-compassion as giving yourself “the same kindness and care you would give to a good friend.” And anyone who struggles to accept themselves will agree that we tend to be our own worst enemies.

Cultivating self-compassion can help you be kinder to yourself when you fail and make you more resilient to setbacks.

5. Self-acceptance helps you be yourself

When you lack self-acceptance, you’re constantly trying to hide, censor, or repress your true self. This can leave you feeling drained.

Self-acceptance can help you show up more authentically without worrying about others’ judgments of you. Essentially, when you accept yourself, you feel free to be your whole self.

What drives self-acceptance?

Some people are naturally more self-accepting than others. Have you ever wondered why that is? It’s because our childhood experiences affect our levels of self-acceptance as adults. 

Our parents or caregivers are the first ones to teach us which aspects of us are acceptable and which aren’t.  

As children, we learn only to accept the parts of ourselves that they deem acceptable. We judge the other parts of ourselves as wrong, and we reject, suppress, and try to hide them.

But the problem is that these judgments are arbitrary. They depend on the values and priorities of your parents or caregivers. 

For example, different emotions are considered acceptable in different families. If you grew up in a family in which anger was unacceptable, you might be unable to accept the parts of yourself that feel anger or rage.

Parenting style also plays a role in your levels of self-acceptance. Children take on board every criticism their parents level at them and accept them as truth. 

So if your parents were highly critical or demanding, the voice of your inner critic will likely be strong, too, and you may also have a fear of failure. On the other hand, those with more compassionate parents tend to show more compassion toward themselves.

Children also don’t know how to distinguish between their behavior and themselves. They think that if their behavior is unacceptable, that means they are also unacceptable.

Therefore, people whose parents were critical are more likely to struggle with self-acceptance. People whose parents were more positive and affirming are more likely to have higher levels of self-acceptance.

Self-acceptance quotes

So now you know why self-acceptance is important. But don’t just take our word for it. We’ve rounded up some of the most inspiring self-acceptance quotes from some of our favorite thought leaders. 

Save them somewhere, and refer to them whenever you need a little inspiration on your self-acceptance journey.

“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” ― Brené Brown, researcher

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ― Sharon Salzberg, author

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” ― Lao Tzu, philosopher

“I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes — it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'Well, if I'd known better, I'd have done better,' that's all.” — Maya Angelou, poet and activist

“Often, it’s not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are, but don’t know how to be. ” — Heath L. Buckmaster, author

“There is a magnificent, beautiful, wonderful painting in front of you! It is intricate, detailed, a painstaking labor of devotion and love! The colors are like no other, they swim and leap, they trickle and embellish! And yet you choose to fixate your eyes on the small fly which has landed on it! Why do you do such a thing?” C. JoyBell C., Author

Self-esteem vs. self-acceptance

Don’t confuse self-acceptance with self-esteem, although people often use the two terms interchangeably. 

Self-esteem comes from evaluating our strengths in comparison to others in different aspects of our lives. These include:

  • Health and well-being
  • Money
  • Beauty
  • Strength
  • Success
  • Skills and abilities
  • Ethics and beliefs

Self-esteem is based on our perceived value and self-worth. Therefore, Neff argues, it encourages us to ignore or distort our negative aspects.  

She says that too much emphasis on high self-esteem can lead to selfish, toxic, or narcissistic behavior to make ourselves feel better. 

Self-esteem is also flimsy since it is conditioned by our behavior and achievements. Relying on self-esteem alone can make it harder to accept failure.

Self-acceptance is more complex and holistic than self-esteem. It encompasses every aspect of ourselves and allows us to see ourselves for who we really are, beyond our external achievements.

However, low self-esteem can be problematic, too. Cultivating self-acceptance can help you build more accurate and sustainable self-esteem, to healthy levels. Knowing and accepting all parts of yourself can help you stop judging and being hypercritical of yourself.

Self-esteem is subject to change depending on external circumstances. But self-acceptance is long-lasting since it does not depend on what happens in your life. 

Self-acceptance can help you have self-compassion even when things go wrong. It can help you maintain a balanced and objective view of yourself as a person. 

According to Neff, the advantage of self-compassion is that you don’t need to feel better than others to feel good about yourself. This is in contrast to self-esteem, which is based on comparison.

So self-esteem can give you a momentary boost when things are going well. But self-acceptance and compassion will free you of the need to compare yourself to others. 

Self-acceptance will bring you joy and contentment that is independent of external factors.


What is my level of self-acceptance?

You probably already know whether your levels of self-acceptance are high or low. But to get an idea, think back to your childhood. 

Were your parents or primary caregivers negative and critical? Did they focus their criticism on you as a person rather than your behavior?

If you answered yes to these questions, there’s a good chance that your self-acceptance is low.

Below is a list of signs that you may be lacking self-acceptance:

  • You have difficulty acknowledging and talking about your failures, weaknesses, and negative traits.
  • You lack self-love and have a deep desire to be someone other than who you are.
  • Your outlook on life is negative for no particular reason.
  • You tend to be hypercritical of yourself and unsure of your own identity.

If you regularly experience one or more of these signs, you likely have low self-acceptance. 

Meditation and other mindfulness practices can help you build your self-acceptance over time. This, in turn, will improve your mental and emotional well-being. 

Let’s take a look at five exercises you can do daily to build self-acceptance.

5 self-acceptance exercises

True self-acceptance doesn’t just happen overnight. Daily practice and self-care can help you gradually increase your level of self-acceptance over time. 

These self-acceptance exercises will teach you how to practice self-love and acceptance every day:

1. Practice gratitude

Every day, write down three to five things you’re grateful for. This can seem challenging at first, especially when you have a mental habit of focusing on the negative. 

But practicing gratitude every day can help you retrain your brain to focus on the positive.

Look for the silver linings of every seemingly negative situation. If you failed at something, be grateful for the lessons learned. Look for things about your perceived flaws to be grateful for, too.

2. Reframe your negative thoughts

Negative beliefs are the voice of your inner critic. They cause a lot of suffering and prevent you from reaching unconditional self-acceptance. 

Reframe your negative beliefs about yourself by writing them down. For example, if you believe you are a bad person for something you did in the past, write it down.

Once you’ve written your list, go through each belief and reframe it. Start by challenging each statement by asking yourself: “Is this true?”

Then, replace each statement with more positive self-talk. For example: “I am a good person, but I’m only human, so I sometimes make mistakes.

3. Choose your support system

Make a list of the people you spend the most time with. Think about the way they speak to you — are they mostly positive or negative?

Identify those who are mostly negative and ask yourself if it would be possible to spend less time with them. Perhaps you could even eliminate them from your life completely. 

This is not always possible, such as in the case of a close family member. But try to remove as many negative people from your life as possible. Surround yourself with positive people who appreciate you and lift you up.

4. Meditate

A regular meditation practice can help you detach from your negative self-talk. This can improve your mood and lead to more positive emotions.

The goal of meditation is to become aware of those thoughts, observing them without identifying with them. 

Mindfulness practices, such as meditation, increase psychological well-being and promote inner peace. This helps you reduce self-criticism and improve your self-image.

5. Forgive yourself

Forgiveness for past mistakes and regrets is an essential step toward self-acceptance. 

Use this self-forgiveness exercise to overcome past mistakes. It will remind you that you’re only human, and you did the best you could. This will help you let go of regret and move on.

Think of a situation, action, or mistake for which you would like to forgive yourself. Identify any judgments of yourself relating to that situation, and write them down.

For example, you might write, “I shouldn’t have done X. I’m so stupid.”

Next, forgive yourself for that belief. Write down something like: “I forgive myself for believing I’m stupid for that. The truth is…” and fill in the blank.

Think about what a compassionate friend might say to you. It could be something like, “I was stressed because…” or “I was hurting and made a bad decision.”

Photo credit

Let radical self-acceptance empower you

To accept yourself is to step into your power. When you cultivate self-acceptance, you no longer need to look for external sources of validation. Learning how to accept yourself is a stepping stone to how you take care of your mental health, too. 

You become sure of who you are and learn to own both your strengths and your weaknesses. 

Working with a coach is a highly effective way of building your self-acceptance. Discover how BetterUp’s expert coaches can help you today.

How Can I Improve My Self-Esteem? (for Teens)

What Is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem means feeling good about yourself.

People with self-esteem:

  • feel liked and accepted
  • are proud of what they do
  • believe in themselves

People with low self-esteem:

  • feel bad about themselves
  • are hard on themselves
  • think they are not good enough

Where Does Self-Esteem Come From?

Parents, teachers, and others. The people in our lives can affect how we feel about ourselves. When they focus on what's good about us, we feel good about ourselves. When they are patient when we make mistakes, we learn to accept ourselves. When we have friends and get along, we feel liked.

But if adults scold more than they praise, it's hard to feel good about yourself. Bullying and mean teasing by siblings or peers can hurt self-esteem, too. Harsh words can stick, and become part of how you think about yourself. Luckily, it doesn't have to stay that way.

The voice in your own head. The things you say to yourself play a big part in how you feel about yourself. Thinking, "I'm such a loser" or "I'll never make friends," hurts your self-esteem.

There are other ways to think about the same things. "I didn't win this time — but maybe next time." "Maybe I can make some friends." That voice is more hopeful. It helps you feel OK. And it could turn out to be true.

Sometimes, the voice in our head is based on harsh words others have said. Or on bad times we have faced. Sometimes, the voice is just us being hard on ourselves. But we can change the voice in our own head. We can learn to think better of ourselves.

Learning to do things. We feel good when we learn to read, add, draw, or build. Play a sport, play music, write an essay, ride a bike. Set the table, wash the car. Help a friend, walk the dog. Each thing you learn and do is a chance to feel good about yourself. Step back and look what you can do. Let yourself feel happy with it.

But sometimes we're too hard on ourselves. We don't accept that what we do is good enough. If we think, "It's not really any good," "It's not perfect," or "I can't do it well enough," we miss the chance to build self-esteem.

What If My Self-Esteem Is Low?

You can do things to feel better about yourself. It's never too late. Here are some tips to raise your self-esteem:

Be with people who treat you well. Some people act in ways that tear you down. Others lift you up by what they say and do. Learn to tell the difference. Choose friends who help you feel OK about yourself. Find people you can be yourself with. Be that type of friend for others.

Say helpful things to yourself. Tune in to the voice in your head. Is it too critical? Are you too hard on yourself? For a few days, write down some of the things you say to yourself. Look over your list. Are these things you'd say to a good friend? If not, rewrite them in a way that's true, fair, and kind. Read your new phrases often. Do it until it's more of a habit to think that way.

Accept what's not perfect. It's always good to do the best you can. But when you think you need to be perfect, you can't feel good about anything less. Accept your best. Let yourself feel good about that. Ask for help if you can't get past a need to be perfect.

Set goals and work toward them. If you want to feel good about yourself, do things that are good for you. Maybe you want to eat a healthier diet, get more fit, or study better. Make a goal. Then make a plan for how to do it. Stick with your plan. Track your progress. Be proud of what you've done so far. Say to yourself, "I've been following my plan to work out every day for 45 minutes. I feel good about it. I know I can keep it up."

Focus on what goes well. Are you so used to talking about problems that they're all you see? It's easy to get caught up in what's wrong. But unless you balance it with what's good, it just makes you feel bad. Next time, catch yourself when you complain about yourself or your day. Find something that went well instead.

Give and help. Giving is one the best ways to build self-esteem. Tutor a classmate, help clean up your neighborhood, walk for a good cause. Help out at home or at school. Make it a habit to be kind and fair. Do things that make you proud of the kind of person you are. When you do things that make a difference (even a small one) your self-esteem will grow.

Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD

Date reviewed: August 2018

How to give self-confidence to a student and increase his self-esteem - REPIT Blog

Self-confidence is necessary for a student - without it it is more difficult to study well, enter a university, and succeed. But this feeling is laid in the child from childhood, and school teachers play a huge role here. So how can a teacher influence the formation of good self-esteem of students?

How to give self-confidence to a student and increase his self-esteem

Self-confidence and self-esteem

Self-confidence and self-esteem are slightly different things. Self-esteem shows who you are, your abilities, talents, positive qualities. Confidence is what you can do or achieve in the future. Undoubtedly, these qualities are fundamentally related, and self-esteem certainly affects confidence and creates it, along with ambitions and dreams.

A student's self-esteem is a fairly personal characteristic: others only affect it indirectly.

But the main problem lies precisely in the fact that a person simply cannot evaluate himself objectively. And while self-confidence should not depend on the environment, its formation is fundamentally influenced by the judgments of other people. This is especially true for children, because it is they who build a picture of their world based on the opinions and judgments of adults. So it is in childhood that self-confidence is laid.

What will affect the student's self-confidence and good self-esteem

The impact of adequate self-esteem and self-confidence on life is enormous. Often stubborn and self-confident children achieve good results, overtaking their comrades, who, in some way, may be more talented than them.

Correct and adequate self-assessment of a student, first of all, gives him the opportunity to move forward, develop his talents and not be afraid of defeat.

In a sense, one can even say that it is self-confidence that allows a student to achieve his goals. True, it is worth noting that you cannot move mountains with confidence alone - long and hard work is still needed.

Why a student loses self-confidence and has low self-esteem

In my opinion, there are two reasons for low self-esteem:

  • one of them is connected with a person’s own judgments about his activities,
  • the other is generated by the surrounding people.
Failures and dissatisfaction with the results

Wins, even small ones, give self-confidence to a student: first place in a competition, the highest score for a test, etc. And when this is not the case, self-confidence falls, and with it self-esteem.

The best example is my experience when I was little:

I have been involved in artistic gymnastics since I was five years old. I had good results, I liked everything, everything worked out. But in my age group there was the son of one of the coaches. Therefore, in all competitions, I took second place (once they even reduced my points so that I lost). It was quite often - competitions were held 3-4 times a year, and I did gymnastics for about five years. Time passed, and I began to say to my parents: “What difference does it make whether I train or not, because I still can’t win?” Then they decided not to take me to gymnastics anymore, considering that good self-esteem is more important than achievements in sports.

What do other people think about the child's achievements? There can be two extremes here.

1. Quite often I come across the following situation when I come to the first lesson: parents begin to say in front of the child that he is stupid, that he is slow-witted and that he is not good at anything . And the child himself is standing, looking down, and it is clear that he believes in this.

Teachers also often do not behave like adults, and regardless of the progress of the child, they evaluate him badly. In general, the child is simply constantly criticized by those closest to him or by people with whom he often intersects. No wonder he will have self-esteem issues.

2. It also happens vice versa: the child is not scolded, but too high demands are made before him . “You have to study for A’s, get a gold medal, win a couple of Olympiads and eventually get a Nobel Prize!” - the scheme is something like this. This leads to sometimes unrealistic and inadequate demands of the child to himself.

It is possible that in addition to all this, excessive guardianship is added. In this case, the parents not only demand results from the child, but also, if something does not suit them, they go to deal with the problem themselves. That is, they do not allow the child to deal with the problem on their own. This ultimately makes the student insecure.

How to increase self-confidence in schoolchildren: methods

When choosing a method (and there are quite a lot of them), one should first of all pay attention to the reasons for low self-esteem. Communicate with parents of students with low self-esteem, and also look at the child's performance in all subjects.

Be sure to note the age of the student. If with younger children the main tool for increasing self-esteem can be a game, then with older students, more “introspective” methods are needed.

If, however, you see that the situation is very difficult and the child literally gives up, then you should immediately consult a psychologist and deal with this matter seriously.

Technique No. 1. Increasing a student's self-esteem with the help of positive feedback

The essence of the technique is very simple: praise the student for his achievements. He must know that his work is seen and appreciated. A good way may be to evaluate not the knowledge itself, but the evaluation of the work done.

In my practice there was such a case. One student constantly got two. After working with me, he switched to triples and still felt stupid. His self-confidence has only gone down. I tried to talk to his parents and with him: I explained that moving from a two to a three is much more difficult than from a three to a four. First, the foundation is laid, and then just practice is needed. The child gained a little confidence, and in the end he began to get good grades.

But you have to be careful with this technique. Children with low self-esteem feel very good when they are praised just like that, and when they try to help them with this. You can only make the situation worse.

Technique No. 2. Self-analysis and self-confidence of a student

American psychologist Nathaniel Branden* claims that the practice of conscious living will help solve the problem of low self-esteem. Like this?

Ask students to take a fresh look at their lives.

  1. It is necessary to evaluate his strengths and weaknesses together with the student. There is nothing wrong with the fact that he has weaknesses - everyone has them.
  2. It is necessary to find what the child's strength is, to reveal his abilities. This will greatly affect his confidence: he will know that he can win or win, that he has his strengths.
  3. Try to explain to the children that they can always improve. For now, they have to accept themselves for who they are and continue to grow.

It is also helpful to ask the child to explain why he/she feels inferior to others. It is necessary that he listen to himself: when we hear what we think about, critical thinking turns on. As a result, the child can independently find an error in his judgments.

And of course, give your students an example: how do you analyze yourself? Emphasize that you are doing this consciously, without giving in to the emotions and criticism of other people.

* Read more about Nathaniel Branden here.

Method No. 3. Student self-esteem and independence

There are methods based on art therapy, music, and games. In these cases, a child with low self-esteem takes on a certain role and performs the corresponding functions. It also gives you a certain amount of confidence. Indeed, in music, in drawing, you cannot make a mistake, and the game always reveals your inner potential and shows your strengths.

The main thing in these methods is to give children the freedom to express themselves and not scold or limit them.

Top tip: how to increase self-confidence in schoolchildren

Show your child that defeats, failures and criticism of other people can be used in a positive way. So, criticism can give a new idea or point out a flaw that needs to be corrected.

You can increase a student's self-esteem by convincing him that he should not be afraid of failure. Failure is an inevitable part of the road to success. Much more to be afraid of idleness. But mistakes help to become stronger and better!

How to increase self-esteem and love yourself


  • 1 The reasons lie in your personality
  • 2 An objective assessment of your capabilities
  • 3 The occurrence of a problem in a child
  • 4 Personal difficulties in adults
  • 5 situational signs 6 Situational signs for identifying 5
  • 6 Warnings about correcting your perception of your personality
  • 7 What should I do?

Applied psychology term for relatively low self-esteem - a person's attitude towards himself or his own image. Thus, the main signs of low self-esteem are a number of paradoxical situations when a person wants to be duly recognized in society, but at the same time cannot love himself and evaluates his personality very low. So, how to increase self-esteem to an adequate level? Many books on psychology are able to give an exhaustive answer to this question. There are many techniques and trainings that tell how to love yourself and increase self-esteem. You just need to choose one of the options and make an effort to achieve the goal.

The reasons lie in your personality

Any personality is built on how a person perceives himself. It is from here that all personal qualities and abilities begin. No matter how great the abilities, due to low self-esteem, most of them will not be able to be realized. This does not mean that the ability will disappear. It’s just that until a person can love himself and cope with low self-esteem, he won’t be able to realize his talents in full force.

You can become a genius only when you believe in your genius.

The phenomenon of low self-esteem is not monolithic - general and particular elements are distinguished in it. The former relate to the general perception of the individual as oneself, the latter to the perception of oneself through the prism of individual own qualities. There are special tests that allow you to analyze low self-esteem - most people show a result of 50 - 60%. This is an average value, but it does not mean the norm at all - there is still low self-esteem, although not pronounced. Over time, the problem can progress, and therefore it is better to take care of how to learn to love yourself and increase self-esteem in advance.

An objective assessment of your abilities

If you think that you are not confident enough in yourself, you should consider that high confidence should not be an absolute value. It makes sense only if it is confirmed by objective and subjective possibilities, the prevailing conditions. It can be concluded that a person's assessment of his capabilities may be underestimated not in general, but in particular. For example, this applies to situational perception, when lack of self-confidence occurs only under certain circumstances. You can be great at many things, but be a layman at others. This should not be a reason to underestimate your capabilities.

It is impossible to achieve absolute competence, and any person in a certain situation can evaluate his abilities very low. This behavior is normal and there is no cause for concern. The problem arises only when there is already a pronounced general low self-esteem - one's own shortcomings, inevitable in certain areas, are perceived painfully and aggravate the psychological state, up to depression. By initially evaluating your capabilities objectively, you protect yourself from negativity.

A problem arises in a child

Most often, the causes of inadequate self-assessment arise in childhood, and the basis for them is the wrong behavior of parents. They usually do not read books on the psychology of family relations, and as a result, seemingly innocent reproaches lead to a serious problem. Low self-esteem is the main barrier to personal growth, and it is laid during the period of growing up. If a child feels that his parents do not believe in him, the factor of low self-esteem is exacerbated - in adolescence or adulthood, it turns out that the person does not believe in himself.

Many books to improve self-esteem directly indicate how parents should behave in order not to ruin the life of a child. If he does something wrong, education will not consist in reproaches and accusations, but in demonstrating and explaining how to do the right thing. With the right approach to education, an increase in self-esteem is extremely rare for a person - he adequately assesses himself and his capabilities.

Personal difficulties in adults

Despite the predominance of the factor of parental education in low self-esteem, adults also have a significant likelihood of such a problem. The reasons can be very different. Usually, low self-esteem is the result of certain external stresses (breaking up with a loved one, unexpected dismissal from work, etc. ). It is noteworthy that problems with an adequate assessment of their personality are much less likely to occur in sanguine and phlegmatic people, while melancholic and choleric people are highly susceptible to stress and a state of unreasonably low self-esteem.

The solution to the problem depends on the person's condition. When low self-esteem has not yet reached a critical stage, you can start improving the situation yourself. For this, a lot of practical recommendations have been developed for training, daily behavior, and even the right way of thinking. If, on the basis of low self-esteem, depression has developed, it is recommended to resort to the help of a specialist. We will leave medical methods to professionals, and then we will consider how to raise self-esteem on our own.

Situational signs for identifying a problem

Identifying signs of low self-esteem is not at all difficult - examine how you feel when you find that you are not competent enough in some area. If you do not have any noticeable psychological discomfort, then everything is in order with your assessment of yourself.

Inevitable situational incompetence has no effect on work productivity, lifestyle, relationships with other people. An objective assessment is extremely important - if you understand that the area of ​​​​low competence is not of particular importance to you, your psychological comfort will not be disturbed. If incompetence becomes a heavy blow for you, if you are very worried about this, then there is a problem with personal assessment.

Whatever the preliminary result, a more serious analysis would not be superfluous. Even if incompetence does not cause any signs of anxiety and dissatisfaction, it is recommended to pass a few simple psychological tests. For example, the "20 questions" system is widely recommended, on the basis of which a primary analysis of personality can be carried out. The essence of this test is to present yourself in several particular aspects (for example, a woman, wife, mother, worker, etc. ). When the list is prepared, it is necessary to make a personal assessment of each aspect - this makes it much easier to find the causes of psychological discomfort.

Warnings about correcting the perception of one's personality

There can be no unambiguous answers to the question of how to increase self-esteem. Nevertheless, there are quite effective recommendations, with the constant observance of which low self-esteem can be defeated. There must be initiative and creativity, but over-enthusiasm must be avoided.

If self-esteem is taken on too vigorously, the result may be the opposite of what you want. It often turns out that too strong a desire to change oneself causes a certain internal resistance. It is much more difficult to overcome it than with gradual development. Thus, you should not constantly think about how to increase self-esteem, you just need to diligently follow the recommendations, and then everything will definitely work out!

What should be done?

Below are the main recommendations, following which you will understand how to raise your self-esteem. If something does not work out for objective reasons, approach the problem creatively, take the initiative - this is the only way you can become more self-confident. So here are some tips that will help make uncertainty a thing of the past:

  • if you decide to take some action, start it as soon as possible. If this is not done, low self-esteem will only progress;
  • you need to diversify your life, find and learn something new for yourself every day;
  • If you don't understand something, don't be afraid to ask. It is much better to get everything right in advance than to make mistakes later that contribute to low self-esteem;
  • need to go in for sports. The better you feel physically, the easier it will be to build self-esteem. Strengthening the body will naturally increase self-confidence;
  • tune in to the positive. The better the mood, the less claims to others - the easier it will be to move along the path of eliminating low self-esteem. At the same time, it is worth supporting your own successes, praising yourself for them;
  • give up comparing yourself to other people. Solving the issue of how to raise self-esteem is almost impossible through a comparative analysis. The only thing you can do here is to compare your past and present self;
  • do not try to make excuses. If you are accused of something, just explain the reasons for your action. The more calmly and confidently you do this, the more significant your contribution to the treasury of the fight against low self-esteem will be;
  • do not blame yourself for mistakes, forgive your own misdeeds. It is impossible to be perfect in everything.

Recommendations for girls

No matter how strong the psychological discomfort due to low self-esteem, it can be dealt with. It will take some time and considerable effort, but here the end justifies the means. The main key to increasing self-esteem is to create a sustainable sense of self-worth and dignity. How to increase a girl's self-esteem:

  • refuse unwanted communication. If there are people around you who suppress and drain you emotionally, do not communicate with them or keep contacts to a minimum. At the same time, it will be easier to cope with low self-esteem if people appear in the social circle that contribute to a better perception of oneself and increase the potential of the individual;
  • analysis of own achievements. If you realize that you can succeed, low self-esteem will be corrected much faster. Spend less time on your shortcomings, focus on your virtues. Even if the achievement is small, it will help to understand how to cope with a personal problem. Every difficulty that you manage to overcome should contribute to the growth of confidence;
  • The most effective way to understand how to increase a girl's self-esteem is to understand the reasons that negatively affect her own perception. From this comes the next point;
  • only you can evaluate yourself. Low self-esteem almost always arises from external factors, including other people's opinions. Stop listening and accepting negative reviews. This does not mean that self-esteem improvement implies the rejection of criticism from the outside - just that criticism should be constructive. Only then can it be taken into account;
  • The simplest and most pleasant recommendation is to do something that will please you. For example, go shopping and update your wardrobe. Choose things as boldly and confidently as possible - don't let low self-esteem spoil your shopping!

Recommendations for men

Many of the above points largely answer the question of how to increase a man's self-esteem. It is noteworthy that the stronger sex is less likely to encounter low self-esteem - he initially evaluates himself more adequately. On the other hand, it will be more difficult for a man to solve problems with self-esteem if they have already arisen. How to increase self-esteem and achieve an adequate perception of yourself:

  • gain confidence in your abilities. The first thing to do is stop comparing yourself to others. All people are unique, and there will always be a person who has achieved more in life. This should not be grounds for low self-esteem. No one can be more successful than everyone else;
  • doing sports. This is the production of male hormones, and the improvement of the figure. Naturally, good sports results are the best answer to the question of how to increase self-esteem;
  • do not blame yourself. Raising self-esteem will become almost impossible if you are too biased towards your personality. Remember that the problem comes from outside, but develops already within you - this is what needs to be avoided;
  • Restrainedly thank people for compliments, but do not respond with phrases that reject the compliment. Many people say "thank you" for nothing. It would seem that this is a trifle, but it directly affects the subconscious, and ultimately makes the task difficult;
  • write a few affirmative phrases that characterize you positively. Let these phrases always be in a conspicuous place, repeat them from time to time. Yes, this is self-hypnosis, but low self-esteem is also self-hypnosis! You just need to rebuild on the positive;
  • self-education, broadening one's horizons can help to increase the feeling of confidence. Contrary to the well-known saying (“the less you know, the better you sleep”), extensive knowledge in various fields gives greater psychological calmness and steadfastness in various situations. Especially here it is necessary to emphasize confidence in social relationships with people. When a person knows a lot, the likelihood of errors made out of ignorance will be lower;
  • imagine how you would like to see yourself ideally. Try to describe your ideal personality in as much detail as possible - with the main character traits, habits, etc. In life, try to repeat the features inherent in the created image. Naturally, this must be done without fanaticism - otherwise you risk facing even more serious psychological difficulties.

Self-development and attending trainings

There are many psychological programs and trainings that tell exactly how to increase self-esteem. Read specialized literature, watch online lessons, attend courses in person. Interaction with successful, positive-minded people will definitely give good results!

In addition, by attending classes, you are not left alone with your problem. So it will be much easier to solve it - with the help of people with similar interests. You just need to choose the right course, which will be taught by recognized specialists - they know how to raise self-esteem, and they will offer you effective professional methods.

Do what makes you happy

Try to give up everything in your life that negatively affects self-esteem. For example, if you are unhappy with your job, you need to find an opportunity to change it. If such a step is currently unrealistic, follow a different path - change your lifestyle, devote as much time as possible to your interests, hobbies, hobbies.

Learn more