Example of high self esteem

10 Things People with High Self-Esteem Do

The feeling of self-esteem is a psychological state associated with your opinion about yourself. This self-evaluation is the key to choosing a partner, making consumer decisions, or carrying out a given activity—it decides about the quality of our lives and what we can achieve. It’s a feeling that can be built—and, as always, we’re focusing on giving you the tools you’ll need to do it. Here are the ten things people with a high sense of self-esteem do.

1. They focus on facts

Not on opinions or judgments, but on the truth. Their point of reference is measurable facts, not their own hidden interests or attempts at manipulation. When making a decision they ask themselves the question: Is this based on fact?

2. They are rooted in reality

They observe the world: others, family, the competition, people, their surroundings. Empathy, an understanding of trends, an awareness of their surroundings allow them to make better decisions and understand their level of participation within these systems. So ask yourself the question: What’s happening in actual, present-moment reality?

3. They stay true to themselves

What they think, feel, believe, and what their intuition tells them, are points of reference when making decisions. People with a high sense of self-esteem don’t choose others over themselves just to get some superficial acceptance, but are always true to themselves. Operational question: What do I think and feel about this subject?

4. They have a rational approach to emotions

Every emotion distorts perception, regardless whether it’s positive or negative, it makes you see the world through the prism of the emotion. If, for example, you’re sad, your brain will pay more attention to things like being stuck in a traffic jam or staying longer at work. These same experiences are interpreted differently in a state of joy (“Hurrah! I’m going home!”) or totally ignored. So don’t make decisions under the influence of emotions and don’t identify with them. Observe them without judgement instead.

5. They make decisions by themselves

Because no one is better than you at making decisions that concern you, it’s key to make them by yourself. At the same time success builds your feeling of self-esteem while you take responsibility for your mistakes and learn from them. Both elements make you more effective and lead you to become the captain of your own destiny.

6. They do things for others

Every human problem functions within a scale and regardless of culture, gender, or age, is identical. Rejection hurts a Brazilian just as much as a Pole and infidelity hurts both men as much as women. The only difference is awareness of the scale of the problem you want to solve. If you can solve the problem for yourself then you’ll potentially be the only customer of this emotional profit. But if you share the problem with others then you’ll save them stress. If you inform the world about it (macro-scale), you’ll have a bigger audience. Question: How can I solve a problem shared by a billion people?

7. They think big

The bigger the problem the more there is to learn. We don’t learn from success (these only inform us that we’re headed in the right direction) but from failures. That’s why trying to solve the biggest problems means the biggest development: confronting fear gives strength, motivation builds the will, the lessons learned become a value for others who start to choose you as a leader because you can do things that they don’t know how to do but need done. What problems do Polish people suffer from?

8. They don’t live the life of others

They don’t hate, they don’t worry about what others are thinking, they don’t compare themselves to others (but they do get inspiration from others), they don’t waste time on arguments and proving who’s right, they don’t run away from life, they’re not interested in gossip or empty emotions. They focus on themselves because they’re able to help others by developing themselves. They are guided by the questions: What do I want to achieve? How can I change the world? What do I feel?

9. They’re always learning

Because the world is changing and they’re smarter than they once were. Because what worked yesterday isn’t enough for today. Because what was good before no longer is. Because they change themselves in order to realize their potential instead of standing still and fighting with the undeniable necessity of letting go. Because holding on to what they know limits them. After all, intelligence is always waiting in a different point of view.

10. They create themselves

Because it’s the only path to self-realization. They step outside the world of cultural limitations, cut the umbilical chord as adults and take charge of their own life. They learn the rules of the systems in which they function and use them to improve themselves and become captains of their own destiny. Their only fate is their plans, their only karma is reality, the judgments of God are their will, they define every life situation. People with a high sense of self-esteem are always asking: Who do I have to become to fulfill my life’s purpose?

8 Common Examples of Low Self-Esteem

Learning the signs of low self-esteem and how to take action can help improve the way you view yourself and the world.

When your self-esteem is high, you may feel confident and ready to take on the world. But continued low self-esteem can affect your relationships, sense of self-worth, how you express yourself, and how you navigate life.

By definition, self-esteem is essentially how you think and feel about yourself at the conscious and unconscious levels.

From a psychological standpoint, Dr. Jan Roberts, LCSW, says that low self-esteem typically reflects those hidden thoughts and beliefs you might have about yourself.

You can have low self-confidence for many reasons, like:

  • expectations from parents and caregivers as a child
  • peer pressure from friends or loved ones
  • relationships, including breakups or divorce
  • unresolved trauma
  • loneliness
  • internalized shame
  • certain mental health conditions
  • brain functioning and development
  • other societal and cultural messages

“We tend to hold on to negative experiences, memories, thoughts, and words that people say. Those messages become embedded into our thinking patterns and create a filter of how we see everything,” Roberts explains.

“Our perceptions eventually create our reality. If we have negative thought processes, we will see things — including ourselves — negatively. Therefore, poor self-esteem becomes the result of our own poor view of ourselves and capabilities,” she says.

Do most people have low self-esteem? Not exactly.

Many people might feel self-conscious or have bouts of low self-confidence now and then. But “having a low self-esteem is not a natural state of being,” says Roberts.

If those negative feelings last for an extended period of time, you may need to work on boosting your self-esteem.

What are the signs of low self-esteem? Here are some examples:

You’re a people-pleaser

You may try to please people instead of being your authentic self and pursuing what brings you joy and pleasure.

Licensed therapist Cheryl A. Clarke, LMFT, says folks with low self-esteem also have a tendency to be passive or passive-aggressive instead of standing up for themselves.

You feel needy or unworthy

Maybe you feel like you don’t deserve love, praise, or a raise at work. This is directly related to how much you value yourself and your abilities.

“A lack of inner worth is driven by a set of beliefs that they’re no good, feeling of insignificance, or believe they have nothing of value,” says Clarke.

“Since most people with low self-esteem seek things (careers, relationships, success, power, etc.) outside of themselves to make them feel more worthy, it’s important to remember that self-esteem is an inside job and directly correlated with joy,” says Roberts.

You struggle to build healthy relationships

The stronger your self-worth, the healthier your relationships tend to be. “If you struggle with low self-esteem, it can threaten your overall relationships,” says Clarke.

You might face challenges with intimacy, trusting partners, and establishing strong personal boundaries, Clarke notes. And according to Roberts, you’re more like to stay in a one-sided, abusive, or codependent relationship, as well.

You have a poor self-image

Do you call yourself “fat” or “ugly” and judge how you look when standing in front of a mirror? If so, it’s likely you think poorly of yourself and your appearance due to negative self-image.

Rejecting compliments is another example of negative self-esteem. You could just be humble, but frequently rejecting forms of flattery instead of saying “thank you” can mean you don’t believe those things are true.

You experience negative self-talk

“I’m a loser.” “I don’t deserve to be happy.” “Why did I say that? I’m so stupid.”

There are all common examples of negative self-talk that can result from low confidence.

If you regularly insult yourself — either internally or in conversation with others — you likely have low self-esteem. Being unforgiving or harsh on yourself when making mistakes can be a sign, too.

You compare yourself to others

We all tend to play the comparison game. Comparing yourself to others can help you achieve your goals or inspire you to become better in the workplace.

But if this becomes a frequent habit and starts to negatively impact your mental health, it may be a sign that you need to work on your confidence.

You experience self-doubt

Second-guessing ourselves is natural. After all, we’re only human.

But if you’re often untrusting of your own judgment or constantly seeking the opinions of others, this may be related to your self-esteem.

Clarke says this can also show up as you feeling like you’ll always make mistakes and letting fear drive your life instead of feeling confident facing challenges.

You avoid self-expression

Maybe you avoid expressing yourself out of shame, embarrassment, or fears of judgment. This habit of “playing small” could also be due to a lack of confidence.

“When someone is not self-expressed, they always feel they don’t fit in and find themselves conforming,” Clarke adds. Essentially, you hide yourself or blend in with others as a coping mechanism for feeling insecure.

If you resonate with any of those low self-esteem examples, there’s no need to stress. There are plenty of ways to boost self-esteem and become more confident.

Identify (and heal) the root cause

”Low self-esteem has deep roots, which require a commitment to becoming self-aware,” Clarke explains. She suggests getting real with yourself to learn what’s making you feel less confident and change those thought patterns.

“It’s important to explore cognitions and the messages learned that initially created the negative core beliefs,” says Roberts. “Understanding how low self-esteem evolves as a result of past internalized messages and cognitive processing can help [people] create new ways of perceiving their world around them.”

Set small goals

“People with low self-esteem often feel like failures and develop learned helplessness. Creating small, achievable goals can help build competence and consequently confidence,” says Roberts.

A great first goal is to notice when you witness examples of poor self-esteem showing up in your life. Then, you can take action.

For example, maybe you’ll try to stop making self-deprecating jokes in front of others, or compliment yourself the next time you look in the mirror. These little goals will eventually add up to create bigger change.

Be kind to yourself

Low self-esteem can cause us to be unfairly hard on ourselves. Remember to be gentle with yourself as you unlearn harmful messages and conditioning.

“It’s not about pushing yourself harder or beating yourself up. It just doesn’t go away with positive thinking and pretending you feel better about yourself than you really do,” reminds Clarke. “Instead of brushing it off or shaming yourself for your experience, try to accept yourself and work toward positive change.”

Practice self-love

“Self-love is the foundation of self-esteem,” says Clarke. So, when you don’t love yourself, you’ll likely have low self-esteem.

It’s a good idea to pursue healthy habits, like eating nutritious meals, moving your body, sleeping well, and taking care of your mental health. This could also mean learning more about yourself, including what you enjoy, and accepting your flaws and imperfections.

Forcing yourself to focus on the bright side of things during challenges can be a form of toxic positivity. But positive thinking can help you adjust your way of thinking, too. Consider all your great personality traits and the ways in which you thrive rather than dwelling on your faults or undesirable traits.

Clarke also suggests practicing self-forgiveness as a form of healing your self-esteem. You can also repeat positive affirmations, like “I am worthy of happiness” or “I am confident.”

See a therapist

A therapist can point out where low self-esteem shows up in your life and guide you toward positive change. They can also help you identify where it’s coming from, so you can heal, create new thought patterns, and become more confident.

“A therapist will help you with integrating new ways of relating to yourself and the world that will begin to gently raise your esteem,” says Clarke.

“Focusing on cognitive reprocessing and developing new competencies help [people] avoid seeking outside of themselves for validation and will help them realize that they can influence their self-esteem and well-being as well,” adds Roberts.

How we perceive and value ourselves directly affects the ways in which we navigate life.

Understanding the signs of low self-esteem and recognizing when those patterns show up for you is a great step toward creating positive change.

Low self-esteem shows up in various ways. Examples include lacking boundaries, people-pleasing, talking badly about yourself, and feeling unworthy. If you relate to any of these, you may have low self-esteem.

But if you have poor self-image, there’s no reason to feel worse about it. You can figure out the causes, practice self-love, or speak with a mental health professional to learn — and improve — how you see yourself and the world around you.

It can take time and hard work, but boosting your confidence is possible and can help you live a more fulfilled life.

Arguments from life and literature on the topic "What is self-esteem"

Online magazine » Bank of arguments

Argument bank

Author Irina Sheikina To read 14 min Views 15.3k. Updated

Many of us often have to evaluate our words, behavior, actions, our attitude to something, and, finally, ourselves, but rarely does anyone think about the question “What is self-esteem”, so today the Literoved team suggests trying to answer it, based on arguments from life and literature, which are selected by members of our online magazine.


What is self-assessment? What is its role in human life?

The author's attitude to the problem

Self-esteem is an assessment of oneself, one's own strengths and weaknesses. In the life of any person, it plays a special role: not only the attitude of other people towards a person, but also his future fate depends on self-esteem.


  1. Self-esteem can be overestimated and underestimated.
  2. The more a person loves himself, the more adequate and higher his self-esteem.
  3. Self-esteem is an important indicator of personality.
  4. How a person's future life develops depends on self-esteem.
  5. Self-esteem develops in childhood, but can be corrected over time.
  6. A person with low self-esteem treats himself without much love, often criticizes himself, is not satisfied with the way his life is going.
  7. A person with high self-esteem does not tolerate criticism, is always sure that he is right and irresistible, does not know how to listen and understand.
  8. People with high self-esteem are often lonely.
  9. Parents play an important role in the development of adequate self-esteem.

Synonyms for the word self-esteem

Evaluation, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth.

Epithets for the word self-esteem

Underestimated, low, overestimated, high, own, honest, internal, sober, objective, positive, adequate, personal, stable, justified, masculine, normal, artistic, incorrect, correct, healthy, reduced, false, modest, critical, hypertrophied, accurate, sick, any, unhurried, similar, incorrect, real, exaggerated, inadequate, good, possible, inflexible, real, insufficient, reduced, strange, increased, any, immature, low, moral, fragile, unhealthy, personal, national, ideological, tough, remarkable, negative, bullied, appropriate, vulnerable, critical.

Arguments from the literature

  1. M. Gorky "Old Woman Izergil". Often in works of art there are heroes who have inflated self-esteem. Such characters are not ready to reckon with other people, their opinion, as they consider themselves the best. Their self-esteem borders on pride, makes them arrogant, overly self-confident. This attitude harms any person and often leads to tragedy. In M. Gorky's story "Old Woman Izergil" one of the main characters is Larra, the son of a simple girl and a proud eagle, the king of birds. Larra was born in the mountains and lived there until his father died, and his mother returned with her son to her tribe, from where an eagle once stole her and carried her to the mountains. When people first looked at the son of an eagle, they saw that he was the same as them, no better than them, only his eyes were cold, like those of the king of birds. However, Larra was convinced that he was smarter, more beautiful, more worthy of everyone and that there were no others like him anywhere else on earth. He is not able to see anyone but himself, does not accept criticism in his address, does not reckon with the laws of the tribe, is used to taking and getting what he wants, therefore, when one of the most beautiful girls rejected him, he killed her in front of the whole tribe. Even the elders did not see such cruelty, pride, such composure, so they decided to punish Larra. They thought for a long time until they came to the conclusion that the punishment for his actions, dictated by sick self-esteem, is in himself. The young man was expelled from the tribe, giving him complete freedom. But freedom and loneliness began to torment Larra, so he wished to die. For thousands of years, a young man has been walking the earth in search of death, but he does not find it. To such a life of the hero leads his self-esteem, unwillingness to appreciate other people, pride and selfishness - faithful companions of inflated self-esteem.
  2. N.V. Gogol "Overcoat". On the pages of fiction, we get to know different characters: positive and negative. In some of them we fall in love immediately and for life, and some we do not understand and condemn. In the gallery of literary images there are heroes who are insecure, unable to fight back offenders, humbly enduring ridicule. These heroes, no doubt, include Akaky Akakievich Bashmachkin, the hero of the story by N.V. Gogol's "Overcoat". He serves as a titular adviser in one of the departments in St. Petersburg. His service is to rewrite papers. Akaky Akakievich has a beautiful handwriting, he is devoted to his work, he has been serving in one place for a long time. He is never late for work, as he is a responsible person. Everything in his life could have gone differently if not for low self-esteem. He was one of the unrequited, meek people, "one of those who cannot bite." The bosses, giving him the papers to copy, did not even look at him and did not honor him with a single word. Young employees of the department make fun of him, as far as their wit was enough for this, but he dutifully endures their ridicule and mockery. The watchmen show him no respect, and when Akaky Akakiyevich enters the building, they do not even get up from their seats and do not look at him, as if not a man had passed, but a fly had flown by. The guards are rude to Bashmachkin, making comments to him. Because of his modesty and bashfulness, he squandered the chance to be promoted and change his life for the better. Low self-esteem made him laconic and tongue-tied: he spoke only in prepositions, conjunctions, particles and interjections, which had no meaning. And if the matter was difficult, he did not even have the habit of finishing sentences. When Bashmachkin got a new overcoat, he cheered up, it seems that his gait even changed, he became more confident in himself, and the attitude of others towards the hero immediately changed. N.V. Gogol is a wise writer. From the very beginning of the work, he makes it clear to readers that such an attitude towards oneself leads to tragedy. You need to learn to see yourself as a person, a person, then others will reckon with you. Unfortunately, the tragedy nevertheless occurred: the overcoat was stolen, and Akaky Akakievich could not survive this and died.
  3. A.S. Pushkin "Eugene Onegin". The image of another hero with inflated self-esteem is created by A.S. Pushkin in the novel "Eugene Onegin". On the pages of the work, readers are presented with a young man at the age of twenty-six, a real dandy and a rake, who spends his life in entertainment and social events, but soon got tired of such a life and was glad to change the situation. Having settled in the village after the death of his uncle, he did not want to get acquainted with the landlord neighbors, who at first came to him, but then stopped when they saw Onegin leaving them from the back porch. The hero considered the village landowners an unworthy society for himself. He became friends with Lensky out of boredom and looked down on the young man, laughing at his love, romantic dreams and enthusiastic speeches. Lensky confides his secret to Onegin: he is in love with Olga Larina. But, having met the girl, Onegin mercilessly criticizes her to Vladimir, not at all sparing the feelings of his friend. He mercilessly reads a sermon to Tatyana Larina, who wrote him a letter with declarations of love. He does not see her state close to fainting, nor her tears. In his eyes, he looks like a great person who has the right to teach other people, regardless of their feelings and experiences. Only selfish, narcissistic, callous people are capable of this. Like many people with an overestimation, Onegin is lonely and unhappy, because their egoism, born of incorrect self-esteem, pushes other people away from them, does not give them the opportunity to understand them.
  4. L.N. Tolstoy "War and Peace". The name of Napoleon is known to readers not only from history books, but from the pages of works of art. In the famous novel by the Russian writer L.N. Tolstoy "War and Peace" the French emperor is one of the main characters of the work. On the pages of the novel, he appears before us as a pampered, spoiled man who loves luxury. The most important occupation for him is war, and the people in it are pawns of no interest. He takes care of the soldiers only when he is in the mood, treats them with feigned, unnatural belligerence, and abandons his army without regret in hungry and devastated Moscow. He is used to the fact that everyone admires him, admires him, and when he appears, people forget about themselves and see only him, their idol. He is sure that the whole world obeys his will. He is a self-centered person, unable to think and worry about anyone else but himself. He considered himself only great and right: he never doubted whether what he was doing was good or bad, since he was always sure that he was never wrong. The limitedness and self-confidence of the commander show through in his manner of speaking and in his behavior. This is a poseur, an artist who plays a role, but at the same time observes with interest what impression his performance makes on others. As a person with high self-esteem, it is extremely important for him to produce the effect of a great man, emperor, commander. But L. N. Tolstoy "removes the crown" from the head of Napoleon: there is no greatness where there is no simplicity, goodness and truth.

Arguments from life

  1. People with high self-esteem, who think they are almost kings and heroes, rarely find friends and girlfriends, because no one wants to be just someone's pale shadow or, as they say feel like a second class person. There was a girl in our school, her name was Lyudmila. She was from a good family, studied well and had a pleasant appearance. Of course, many could make friends with her, because smart girls are interesting to be friends with and communicate with. But with all her appearance, Lyudochka showed that among all the students of the school there is not one worthy of being friends with her, because she is better, smarter, more beautiful than everyone else. But one day the case punished her for such self-esteem and disrespect for others. For the holiday of March 8, a school-wide event "Miss School" was being prepared. Among the contenders for this honorary title was Lyudmila. The participating girls were getting ready, worried. They learned poems, songs, prepared costumes. And only the heroine of my story did not betray her excitement, she was, as always, self-confident and arrogant. Her whole appearance indicated that she had no doubt that victory would be hers. The first competitive tests went well. The audience supported the contestants with thunderous applause, applauded, of course, and Lyudmila. But when the girls began to read their favorite poems, something went wrong. Luda went on stage, beautiful, smart, and began to recite the poem loudly, expressively, confidently, and suddenly, after a few lines, she stumbled, then again and again, as if it were not a favorite work, but lines heard only a minute ago. She blushed like a cancer and ran off the stage. Of course, Luda did not become the winner, as she thought, but since then she has calmed down a bit. I don’t know if she understood that inflated self-esteem makes a person overly self-confident and arrogant, and these qualities do not adorn anyone, do not attract other people, but, on the contrary, cripple the soul and repel, but she still has no friends and girlfriends.

Arguments from folk wisdom

  1. “Everyone is a feast for the eyes”, says a Russian proverb. It means that every person considers himself a "feast for the eyes", that is, he is less critical of himself than of other people.
  2. "Every toad praises itself", - says a Russian proverb. It says that every person praises himself, that is, evaluates highly.
  3. “I love you, but not like myself”, - says a Russian proverb. It means that each person loves himself more than anyone else.
  4. "Don't be self-confident, but be good in business", - says a Russian proverb. It advises not to be self-confident, but to show and prove that in fact a person is worth it.
  5. “A brave man is always careless; a strong man is always self-confident,” says a Russian proverb. She says that a brave person forgets about the danger, so he is always careless. A strong man hopes for his strength, so he is always self-confident.
  6. "We don't care about anything", - says a Russian proverb. It is more like a motto or slogan for self-confident people with high self-esteem.
  7. “He imagines himself above the roof, but his head is spinning from the porch”, - this is how the Russian proverb says about overly self-confident people who overestimate their capabilities.
  8. “If only the whole world would burn for me, if only I were alive”, – says a Russian proverb. It talks about people with high self-esteem. Such people are not touched by other people's sorrows and problems, they worry only about themselves.
  9. “I won’t laugh at someone else’s hump, I won’t look at my hump,” says a Russian proverb. She speaks of people who are accustomed to not noticing their shortcomings or even considering them advantages, but ridiculing these same shortcomings in others.


  1. "We make mistakes only twice: when we evaluate ourselves and when we evaluate others" - considered Russian literature, journalist, publisher Leonid Baltsan. Often, when evaluating themselves, people increase the list of their advantages, but when evaluating others, they are more critical, therefore they increase the list of shortcomings. In both cases, people are wrong.
  2. “You have no idea how low I think of myself – and to what extent this opinion is undeserved”, — said the English physicist and physician William Gilbert. He claimed that he had low self-esteem, and this assessment was undeserved and unfair.
  3. "If you don't value yourself highly, the world won't offer you a penny more," said Norwegian figure skater Sonya Henie. She believed that if a person evaluates himself low, then other people will also evaluate him accordingly.
  4. "A man is worth as much as he values ​​himself", - wrote the French writer, editor and physician Francois Rabelais. In his opinion, the attitude of other people to a person depends on the attitude of a person to himself. He will be treated the way he treats himself.
  5. "We judge ourselves by what we are able to achieve, others judge us by what we have achieved," - said the American poet Henry Longfellow. He believed that a person evaluates himself by his abilities, and other people evaluate the same person by his actions.
  6. “It is a big mistake to seem to yourself more significant than you really are, and value yourself less than you are worth”, — wrote the German writer and thinker Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. He believed that a person who values ​​himself highly makes a mistake. No less mistake is made by the one who belittles his importance. A person's self-esteem must be adequate.
  7. "A person's destiny is determined or, more precisely, indicated by his own self-esteem", - considered the American writer Henry David Thoreau. He believed that the fate of the child, his future depended on his self-esteem. With adequate and high self-esteem, he will succeed, and with an underestimated one, only complexes await him.
  8. “Before diagnosing depression and low self-esteem, make sure you are not surrounded by idiots,” said the famous Austrian psychologist Sigmund Freud. As a true professional, he believed that before drawing conclusions about depression and low self-esteem, you need to take a closer look at your surroundings. Perhaps it is they who inspire a person with such a diagnosis.
  9. "Self-love is not so condemnable as lack of self-respect", - wrote the English playwright and poet William Shakespeare. According to the great classic, a person's pride can be justified, but a lack of self-respect can never be justified.
  10. “Avoid those who try to undermine your self-confidence. A great person, on the contrary, inspires a feeling that you can become great, ” - said the American writer Mark Twain. A well-known classic advised to avoid people who cultivate complexes in a person, undermine faith in their abilities. Great people can only be made by people who inspire a sense of significance.
  11. “I think a certain degree of narcissism is needed: it builds self-esteem. Call it what you want: ego, vanity, but a person needs these qualities in order to move forward. It is important to know your own worth and have strong convictions”, - says Anthony Hopkins, British and American actor and film director. He believes that high self-esteem brings a positive result, as it makes a person move forward, improve, develop.

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Inflated self-esteem - signs, causes of inflated self-esteem

Inflated self-esteem is an overestimation of an individual's own potential. Such self-assessment can reveal both positive influence and negative influence. Positive influence is expressed in the confidence of the subject. Negative influences include increased selfishness, disregard for the point of view or opinion of others, overestimation of one's own strengths.

Often, inadequately high self-esteem in case of failure and failure can plunge the individual into the abyss of a depressive state. Therefore, no matter how beneficial an overestimated self-esteem of a person is, it is still better to try to keep it under control.

Inflated self-esteem signs

Inflated self-esteem of a person manifests itself in comparison with low self-esteem more uniformly. First of all, such a person puts himself above others, considers himself a luminary, and all the rest unworthy of him. However, the person himself does not always put himself above others, often the people themselves elevate him, but he is not able to adequately relate to such an assessment of himself, and pride seizes him. Moreover, she can stick to him so strongly that even when the moment of glory is far behind, pride remains with him.

Inadequately high self-esteem and its signs:

  • a person is always sure that he is right, even if there are constructive arguments and arguments in favor of the opposite point of view;
  • in any conflict situation or in a dispute, the individual is sure that the last phrase should remain with him and it does not matter to him what exactly this phrase will be;
  • he completely denies the existence of an opposing opinion, even the possibility that each individual has the right to his own point of view. If he nevertheless agrees with such a statement, he will be sure of the “incorrectness” of the interlocutor’s point of view, which is different from his;
  • the subject is sure that if something does not work out for him, then in this situation it is not he who is guilty, but the surrounding society or the circumstances;
  • he does not know how to ask for forgiveness and apologize;
  • the individual constantly competes with colleagues and friends, always wanting to be better than others;
  • he constantly expresses his own point of view or principled positions, even if no one is interested in his opinion, and no one asks to express it;
  • in any discussion a person very often uses the pronoun “I”;
  • he perceives any criticism directed at him as a manifestation of disrespect for his person, and with all his appearance makes it clear that he is absolutely indifferent to the opinion of others about him;
  • it is important for him to always be perfect and never make mistakes and misses;
  • any failure or failure can knock him out of his working rhythm for a long time, he begins to feel depressed and irritable when he fails to do something or achieve the intended result;
  • prefers to take only cases in which achievement of results is associated with difficulties, while often without even considering the possible risks;
  • the individual is afraid to seem weak, defenseless or insecure to others;
  • he always prefers to put his own interests and hobbies first;
  • the individual is subject to excessive selfishness;
  • he tends to teach the people around him about life, from small things like how to properly fry potatoes to more global things like how to make money;
  • in conversations he likes talking more than listening, so he constantly interrupts;
  • his tone of conversation is characterized by arrogance, and any requests are more like orders;
  • he strives to be the first and the best in everything, and if this does not work out, he may become depressed.

People with high self-esteem

The characteristic of high self-esteem lies in the fact that people suffering from such a "disease" have a distorted, in the direction of overestimation, idea of ​​their own person. They, as a rule, somewhere in the depths of their souls feel loneliness and dissatisfaction with themselves. It is often quite difficult for them to form relationships with the surrounding society, since the desire to see them better than they are in reality leads to arrogant, arrogant, defiant behavior. Sometimes their actions and deeds are even aggressive.

Individuals with high self-esteem are very fond of praising themselves, in conversation they constantly try to emphasize their own merits, and they can afford disapproving and disrespectful statements about strangers. In this way they assert themselves at the expense of the people around them and strive to prove to the whole universe that they are always right. Such people consider themselves better than everyone, and others are much worse than them.

Subjects with high self-esteem react painfully to any, even harmless, criticism. Sometimes they can even perceive it aggressively. The peculiarity of interaction with such people contains a requirement on their part that others constantly recognize their superiority.

Inflated self-esteem causes

More often than not, inadequate assessment towards overestimation occurs due to improper family upbringing. Often, inadequate self-esteem is formed in a subject who was the only child in the family or the firstborn (less common). From early childhood, a kid feels like the center of attention and the main person in the house. After all, all the interests of family members are subject to his desires. Parents with tenderness on their faces perceive his actions. They indulge the child in everything, and he develops a distorted perception of his own "I" and an idea of ​​\u200b\u200bhis special place in the world. It begins to seem to him that the globe revolves around him.

Inflated self-esteem in a girl often depends on the circumstances associated with their forced existence in a harsh male world and the struggle for their personal place in society with chauvinists in their pants. After all, everyone strives to show a woman where her place is. In addition, high self-esteem in a girl is often associated with the external attractiveness of the face and body structure.

A man with high self-esteem imagines himself to be the center object of the universe. That is why he is indifferent to the interests of others and will not listen to the judgments of the "gray masses". After all, this is how he sees other people. Men's inadequate self-esteem is characterized by unreasonable confidence in their subjective rightness, even in the face of evidence to the contrary. Such men can also be called narcissists.

According to statistics, a woman with an overestimated self-esteem is much less common than a man with an overestimated self-esteem.

Overestimated and underestimated self-esteem

Self-esteem is the subject's internal representation of himself, his own potential, his social role and life positions. It also determines the attitude towards society and the world as a whole. Self-esteem has three facets. So, for example, love for people begins with love for oneself, and can end on the side where love is already turning into low self-esteem.

The upper limit of self-assessment is an inflated self-esteem, as a result of which an individual perceives his personality incorrectly. He sees not the real himself, but a far-fetched image. Such an individual incorrectly perceives the surrounding reality and his place in the world, idealizes his external data and internal potential. He considers himself smarter and more sensible, much more beautiful than those around him and more successful than everyone else.

A subject with inadequate self-esteem always knows and can do everything better than others, knows the answers to any questions. Inflated self-esteem and its causes may be different, for example, a person strives to achieve a lot, become a successful banker or a famous athlete. Therefore, he goes ahead to achieve his goal, not noticing either friends or relatives. For him, his own individuality becomes a kind of cult, and he considers those around him to be a gray mass. However, high self-esteem can often hide a lack of confidence in one's own potential and strengths. Sometimes inflated self-esteem is just a kind of protection from the outside world.

Inflated self-esteem - what to do? To begin with, you should try to recognize the uniqueness of each individual person. Everyone has the right to their own point of view, which may be true, despite the fact that it does not coincide with yours. Below are a few rules for bringing self-esteem back to normal.

During a conversation, try not only to listen to the speaker, but also to hear him. You should not adhere to the erroneous opinion that others can only talk nonsense. Believe that in many areas they can understand much better than you. After all, a person cannot be an expert in everything. Allow yourself to make mistakes and mistakes, because they only help to gain experience.

Don't try to prove anything to anyone, every person is beautiful in their individuality. Therefore, you should not stick out your best features all the time. Do not get depressed if you could not achieve the desired result, it is better to analyze the situation for why it happened, what you did wrong, what is the reason for the failure. Understand that if something didn’t work out for you, then it happened through your fault, and not the fault of the surrounding society or circumstances.

Consider as an axiom the fact that everyone has flaws and try to accept that you are also not perfect and that you have negative traits. It is better to work on self-improvement and correcting shortcomings than to turn a blind eye to them. And for this, learn adequate self-criticism.

Low self-esteem is manifested in the negative attitude of the individual towards himself. Such individuals tend to belittle their own achievements, virtues and positive traits. The causes of low self-esteem can be different. So, for example, self-esteem may decrease due to the negative suggestion of society or self-hypnosis. Also, its causes can come from childhood, as a result of improper parental upbringing, when adults constantly told the baby that he was bad or compared with other kids not in his favor.

Inflated self-esteem in a child

If a child has an overestimated self-esteem and he notices only positive traits in himself, then it will hardly be easy for him to build relationships with other children, together with them find solutions to issues and come to a consensus. Such kids are more conflicted than their peers and are more likely to “give up” when they fail to achieve the set results or goals that correspond to their self-image.

A characteristic of a child's inflated self-esteem is his overestimation of himself. It often happens that parents or other significant relatives tend to overestimate the achievements of the baby, while tirelessly admiring any of his actions, intelligence, quick wits. This leads to the emergence of the problem of socialization and intrapersonal conflict, when the child enters the environment of peers, where he transforms from “the very best” into “one of the group”, where it turns out that his skills are not so outstanding, but the same as those of others or even worse, which is even more difficult for a child to experience. In this case, overestimated self-esteem can sharply become underestimated and cause mental trauma in the baby. The severity of the injury will depend on the age at which the child has joined an alien environment for him - the older he is, the more he will experience intrapersonal conflict.

Due to inadequately high self-esteem, the child develops an incorrect perception of himself, an idealized image of his "I", his own potential and value for the surrounding society. Such a child emotionally rejects everything that can violate his idea of ​​himself. As a result, the perception of reality is distorted, and the attitude towards it is transformed into an inadequate one, perceived only at the level of emotions. Children with high self-esteem are characterized by difficulties in communication.

The child has high self-esteem – what should I do? A huge role in the formation of children's self-esteem is played by the interested attitude of parents, their approval and praise, encouragement and support. All this stimulates the activity of the child, his cognitive processes, form the morality of the baby. However, it is also necessary to praise properly. There are a few general rules for when not to praise a child. If the baby has achieved something not with the help of his own labor - physical, mental or spiritual, then there is no need to praise him. Also, the beauty of the child is not subject to approval. After all, he did not achieve this himself; nature rewards the spiritual or external beauty of children. It is by no means recommended to praise for his toys, clothes or random finds. Feeling sorry or wanting to be liked is also not a good reason for praise. Remember that excessive praise can backfire.

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