Draining my energy

10 Signs to Watch For and How to Deal with Them

Energy vampires are people who — sometimes intentionally — drain your emotional energy. They feed on your willingness to listen and care for them, leaving you exhausted and overwhelmed.

Energy vampires can be anywhere and anyone. They can be your spouse or your best friend. They can be your cubicle mate or your neighbor.

Learning how to identify and respond to this toxic behavior can help you preserve your energy and protect yourself from a great deal of emotional — and physical — distress.

Read on to learn more about how an energy vampire acts and what you can do next.

Energy vampires are often charismatic. They may slink out of trouble when problems arise because of this charm.

They’re crafty and may pin problems on someone else in almost every situation.

They never accept culpability for their role in any disagreement or issue. You’re often left holding the guilt — and possibly the blame.

For example:

“I can’t believe no one could get this right. What an embarrassment!”
“I just sat there. He kept getting angry at me, and I still don’t know what I did.”

Energy vampires always find themselves in the middle of a catastrophe, flailing from target to target with their emotional and dramatic behavior.

When they’ve landed on you, they fling this drama onto you in hopes you’ll absorb it, fix it, and right their ship.

For example:

“Why am I always the one everyone gets mad at? I don’t deserve this.”
“I just can’t take this anymore. I didn’t do anything to Ellen, but she’s stopped talking to me. Why can’t everyone be as kind as you?”

An energy vampire never likes to be outdone, and they aren’t keen to share the spotlight. This is one of their many narcissistic tendencies.

They struggle to feel genuine happiness for another person. Instead, they prefer to pull energy to feed their emotional demands.

For example:

“That’s really good news. I actually applied for a new job today, too, and I really need some help with my resume. Do you mind looking it over?”
“So proud of you! Only three more certifications to go to catch up with me!”

Energy vampires feed off your emotional energy. And if you’re sad or upset, your energy supplies are dwindling.

To drain the most energy from you, energy vampires will shift the attention of the discussion to themselves, turning your dismay into their emotional buffet.

For example:

“I know your job doesn’t pay well, but at least your job is fun. You have to help me find a new one.”
“You’re super swamped at work, and I get it, but I really, really need to talk to you tonight about this issue with Mark.”

Energy vampires place their problems squarely on the shoulders of other people. They take no responsibility for their contributions to their difficulties.

What they’re seeking is emotional support to boost their self-esteem.

For example:

“He’s always so unreasonable. I do the best I can, but it’s just never enough.”

“This day started off bad and it only got worse.”

People who are sensitive and compassionate are prime targets for energy vampires. You offer a listening ear, a kind heart, and endless energy.

In that way, energy vampires use your very nature against you, draining you of your vitality.

For example:

They monopolize your time at every social occasion so they can have as much of your energy as they can get.
They know you’ll feel guilty turning them down for coffee or a dinner date, so they ask regularly.

Energy vampires often rely on guilt trips to get what they want. They know shame is a great weapon against people who are compassionate and caring.

Likewise, ultimatums are an effective way to capture a person’s attention and coerce them into doing something they otherwise may not want to do.

For example:

“I don’t know how you expect me to make it without you. I’ll fall apart.”
“If you really care for me, you’ll call him and tell him how much I love him.”

Codependency is a type of relationship where every action is designed to elicit a certain reaction from the other individual.

It’s a vicious cycle of behavior, but energy vampires rarely recognize that they’re in them.

They use these relationships — often romantic ones — to continue spinning a cycle of drama and emotional need.

For example:

“I know this isn’t a good relationship, but it’s so much better than trying to get over him and learn to date again.”
“If I just ignore him for a few days, he’ll totally beg for forgiveness and come crawling back.”

At their core, energy vampires are often insecure. They may use dehumanizing tactics and criticisms to keep their “prey” insecure, too.

In this state, you feel like you owe them your attention and should continue to work to stop the unwarranted attacks.

For example:

“I was too stupid to expect better from you. Everyone else treats me like garbage, so why not you?”
“You were in over your head from the beginning, and I told you that.”

One step removed from criticizing or bullying you, intimidation is a tool some energy vampires turn to when they need to stir up some emotional fodder.

Fear is a very strong emotional reaction. If an energy vampire can upset you, they can bolster their ego.

For example:

“I won’t tell you this again and again.”
“You don’t deserve a promotion. You don’t show that you even really want it.”

Energy vampires demand a lot from the people they target.

This continuous drain on your resources can have a noticeable effect on your well-being. Over time, excess stress can lead to anxiety, depression, heart disease, and more.

That’s why it’s important to recognize the behaviors and then work to remove them.

This may involve putting up walls to protect against an energy vampire’s efforts — or removing the person from your life entirely.

The ideas below may not work for everyone. Try them and mold your approach as you go until you’re able to feel in control and protected.

Establish boundaries

Although this may be easier said than done at first, you can and should develop areas of your life where you won’t allow an energy vampire to enter.

Don’t agree to social events like dinner or coffee dates. Avoid weekend trips and other extended events where they’ll be in attendance.

At work, you can limit interactions between the two of you by not agreeing to lunches and not stopping by their desk to chat.

You may need to start small, focusing on a few areas, and then expand.

Adjust your expectations

You can’t fix an energy vampire, but you can reshape your expectations about them.

This may involve shutting off your emotional valve and not offering advice when they vent their problems to you.

This may also mean you can’t use them as any type of emotional release either. They’ll want to reciprocate.

Don’t give them an inch

If the energy vampire calls, stops by, or texts, don’t give them the room.

Offer an excuse — “I’m too tired” or “I’m too busy” will do. You could say that you’ve got plans or don’t feel well.

When they keep interfacing with excuses and not getting the emotional energy they need, they’ll look elsewhere.

Guard your emotional capacity

Energy vampires use nonverbal cues to know when they have someone on the hook. Your facial expression, the way you lean in, how you clasp your hands — an energy vampire can take these as signs of your investment.

If you instead offer stone-faced responses and only offer short statement to their questions, you won’t open yourself up to their demands, and you can reserve your energy for you.

Cut them out entirely

In most cases, you have the freedom to excise this person from your life entirely. This may seem dramatic, but you have to remember that you’re protecting yourself in the end.

By recognizing these behaviors and trying to put an end to it, you’re protecting yourself, your health, and your overall well-being.

No one deserves to be mistreated or used in this manner. It’s certainly not your fault.

Some people refuse to accept responsibility for their own emotional maturity — and that isn’t your burden to bear.

10 Signs to Watch For and How to Deal with Them

Energy vampires are people who — sometimes intentionally — drain your emotional energy. They feed on your willingness to listen and care for them, leaving you exhausted and overwhelmed.

Energy vampires can be anywhere and anyone. They can be your spouse or your best friend. They can be your cubicle mate or your neighbor.

Learning how to identify and respond to this toxic behavior can help you preserve your energy and protect yourself from a great deal of emotional — and physical — distress.

Read on to learn more about how an energy vampire acts and what you can do next.

Energy vampires are often charismatic. They may slink out of trouble when problems arise because of this charm.

They’re crafty and may pin problems on someone else in almost every situation.

They never accept culpability for their role in any disagreement or issue. You’re often left holding the guilt — and possibly the blame.

For example:

“I can’t believe no one could get this right. What an embarrassment!”
“I just sat there. He kept getting angry at me, and I still don’t know what I did.”

Energy vampires always find themselves in the middle of a catastrophe, flailing from target to target with their emotional and dramatic behavior.

When they’ve landed on you, they fling this drama onto you in hopes you’ll absorb it, fix it, and right their ship.

For example:

“Why am I always the one everyone gets mad at? I don’t deserve this.”
“I just can’t take this anymore. I didn’t do anything to Ellen, but she’s stopped talking to me. Why can’t everyone be as kind as you?”

An energy vampire never likes to be outdone, and they aren’t keen to share the spotlight. This is one of their many narcissistic tendencies.

They struggle to feel genuine happiness for another person. Instead, they prefer to pull energy to feed their emotional demands.

For example:

“That’s really good news. I actually applied for a new job today, too, and I really need some help with my resume. Do you mind looking it over?”
“So proud of you! Only three more certifications to go to catch up with me!”

Energy vampires feed off your emotional energy. And if you’re sad or upset, your energy supplies are dwindling.

To drain the most energy from you, energy vampires will shift the attention of the discussion to themselves, turning your dismay into their emotional buffet.

For example:

“I know your job doesn’t pay well, but at least your job is fun. You have to help me find a new one. ”
“You’re super swamped at work, and I get it, but I really, really need to talk to you tonight about this issue with Mark.”

Energy vampires place their problems squarely on the shoulders of other people. They take no responsibility for their contributions to their difficulties.

What they’re seeking is emotional support to boost their self-esteem.

For example:

“He’s always so unreasonable. I do the best I can, but it’s just never enough.”
“This day started off bad and it only got worse.”

People who are sensitive and compassionate are prime targets for energy vampires. You offer a listening ear, a kind heart, and endless energy.

In that way, energy vampires use your very nature against you, draining you of your vitality.

For example:

They monopolize your time at every social occasion so they can have as much of your energy as they can get.
They know you’ll feel guilty turning them down for coffee or a dinner date, so they ask regularly.

Energy vampires often rely on guilt trips to get what they want. They know shame is a great weapon against people who are compassionate and caring.

Likewise, ultimatums are an effective way to capture a person’s attention and coerce them into doing something they otherwise may not want to do.

For example:

“I don’t know how you expect me to make it without you. I’ll fall apart.”
“If you really care for me, you’ll call him and tell him how much I love him.”

Codependency is a type of relationship where every action is designed to elicit a certain reaction from the other individual.

It’s a vicious cycle of behavior, but energy vampires rarely recognize that they’re in them.

They use these relationships — often romantic ones — to continue spinning a cycle of drama and emotional need.

For example:

“I know this isn’t a good relationship, but it’s so much better than trying to get over him and learn to date again. ”
“If I just ignore him for a few days, he’ll totally beg for forgiveness and come crawling back.”

At their core, energy vampires are often insecure. They may use dehumanizing tactics and criticisms to keep their “prey” insecure, too.

In this state, you feel like you owe them your attention and should continue to work to stop the unwarranted attacks.

For example:

“I was too stupid to expect better from you. Everyone else treats me like garbage, so why not you?”
“You were in over your head from the beginning, and I told you that.”

One step removed from criticizing or bullying you, intimidation is a tool some energy vampires turn to when they need to stir up some emotional fodder.

Fear is a very strong emotional reaction. If an energy vampire can upset you, they can bolster their ego.

For example:

“I won’t tell you this again and again.”
“You don’t deserve a promotion. You don’t show that you even really want it. ”

Energy vampires demand a lot from the people they target.

This continuous drain on your resources can have a noticeable effect on your well-being. Over time, excess stress can lead to anxiety, depression, heart disease, and more.

That’s why it’s important to recognize the behaviors and then work to remove them.

This may involve putting up walls to protect against an energy vampire’s efforts — or removing the person from your life entirely.

The ideas below may not work for everyone. Try them and mold your approach as you go until you’re able to feel in control and protected.

Establish boundaries

Although this may be easier said than done at first, you can and should develop areas of your life where you won’t allow an energy vampire to enter.

Don’t agree to social events like dinner or coffee dates. Avoid weekend trips and other extended events where they’ll be in attendance.

At work, you can limit interactions between the two of you by not agreeing to lunches and not stopping by their desk to chat.

You may need to start small, focusing on a few areas, and then expand.

Adjust your expectations

You can’t fix an energy vampire, but you can reshape your expectations about them.

This may involve shutting off your emotional valve and not offering advice when they vent their problems to you.

This may also mean you can’t use them as any type of emotional release either. They’ll want to reciprocate.

Don’t give them an inch

If the energy vampire calls, stops by, or texts, don’t give them the room.

Offer an excuse — “I’m too tired” or “I’m too busy” will do. You could say that you’ve got plans or don’t feel well.

When they keep interfacing with excuses and not getting the emotional energy they need, they’ll look elsewhere.

Guard your emotional capacity

If you instead offer stone-faced responses and only offer short statement to their questions, you won’t open yourself up to their demands, and you can reserve your energy for you.

Cut them out entirely

In most cases, you have the freedom to excise this person from your life entirely. This may seem dramatic, but you have to remember that you’re protecting yourself in the end.

By recognizing these behaviors and trying to put an end to it, you’re protecting yourself, your health, and your overall well-being.

No one deserves to be mistreated or used in this manner. It’s certainly not your fault.

Some people refuse to accept responsibility for their own emotional maturity — and that isn’t your burden to bear.

7 Energy-Draining Habits and How to Overcome Them

1. Trying to Please Others

Constantly trying to show yourself to others in the best light - whether it be your boss, spouse, teacher or parents - is very tiring.

When you try to whitelist other people and make them happy, you will inevitably make yourself unhappy. Your actions come from the need to meet their desires and expectations, not your own.

Of course, kindness and consideration can help maintain healthy relationships with others. But make sure you're not doing it for someone else's approval.

This is a dangerous path that will always drain your energy, make you neglect your own needs and feel constant tension

What to do

Understand your boundaries, set them clearly and communicate them to others. Realize that relationships are built on the principle of "give and take," and firmly refuse what you can't do.

2. Excessive self-criticism

Do not constantly criticize and condemn yourself - it only tires. Often this is due to a wrong sense of self and feelings of unworthiness.

When you think that you don't meet some requirements - for example, consider yourself not talented enough - you will feel unworthy.

You will judge yourself harshly, highlight your weaknesses and fixate on your flaws and shortcomings. Let's face it, if you don't see anything positive in yourself, it's impossible to feel energized, happy, and capable.

What to do

Practice self-compassion.

When you learn to treat yourself with love and support, you will feel happier and more peaceful. Celebrate your accomplishments, praise your efforts, and embrace your failures.

Praise yourself for at least trying.

3. Obsession with negative emotions

Poison is not always what you eat or drink, emotion can be poison.

Anger and resentment are among the most poisonous feelings. According to psychologists, these are typical examples of high-intensity negative emotions that can be physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting.

Often these emotions arise because you are still "living in the past" - mostly a painful and hurtful past.

You still hold a grudge against those who hurt you. If you want to move forward, you need to have the courage to let go of your negative past.

It is useless to feel resentment, anger and indignation long after what happened.

As Buddha Siddhartha once said:

“Holding on to anger is like holding on to a hot coal to throw it at another; you burn yourself. To liberate and energize life means to move away from the past and free your mind from the poisonous influence of the past.

What to do

Be aware of what makes you angry and resentful.

If you feel that a particular experience from the past is too hurtful to let go, sit down and take the time to think about it, and then write down all your thoughts and experiences.

4. Anxiety and extra thinking

People worry when they want to predict the future. They waste their energy trying to control what may or may not happen. More often than not, worrying about what you can't influence is completely useless.

This will only lead to suffering, anxiety and depression. The same goes for overthinking.

Nothing can be achieved by superfluous thoughts. They will not give you the best result. They only drain energy and physically exhaust.

What to do

Recognize that you cannot control everything and focus on what you can control.

This is how you regain the power to feel what you want.

5. Mindless use of social media

The way we use social media affects our mood and energy.

Watching the news feed both inspires and hurts self-esteem.

If on social networks you only consume photos and videos of friends and strangers who seem to be more successful, your life in your own eyes will become worse than it really is.

It drains energy and makes you feel very unhappy with yourself.

The truth is that there are too many fakes on social media to let them determine how you feel about yourself and how successful you are.

What to do

When done right, social media can have a huge positive impact on your life.

Focus on yourself and those aspects of social media that suit your goals. Instead of comparing yourself to others and worrying about your life, use them to inspire and build relationships with people.

6. Inability to get enough sleep

Nothing rejuvenates the body and refreshes the mind like good sleep. During sleep, the body restores itself and its chemical balance. In addition, the brain has time to flush out toxins and form new mental connections.

These processes are designed to prepare the body and mind to feel better after waking up. And in order to get the most effective sleep, you need to sleep at least 7 hours. Unfortunately, most people have trouble falling or staying asleep. They experience sleep disturbances and lack thereof.

If you constantly sleep less than required, you do not give your body time to recover. And no life hack will help save energy.

It drains the mind and puts physical health at real risk. And over time, this can have real long-term consequences. Science has linked poor sleep to a number of health problems, including weight gain.

What to do

Adjust your sleep schedule to control its quality.

This means arranging your sleep so that you get up at the same time every day. Try to sleep the same amount of time each night.

If you want to improve your sleep, it is also important to watch what you do before bed. A few hours before bedtime, do not drink coffee, drink alcohol, or eat fatty foods that will interfere with your sleep. Instead, meditate, write down your thoughts in a journal, find something to read, or listen to an inspiring audiobook/podcast.

7. Unhealthy Eating

Eating healthy is a good way to feel good because what you eat affects your energy levels, mood and productivity.

Generally speaking, if you feel tired, tired and need to take a nap 30-45 minutes after eating, you need to change your diet.

Healthy foods that boost your daily energy include vegetables, fruits, nuts, fish, lean meats, legumes, and healthy fats such as those found in olive oil.

Focus on getting enough of these important nutrients every day and cut out processed, unhealthy foods.

Processed foods cause a temporary spike in blood sugar and insulin levels. You get a short burst of energy, but it's quickly followed by an energy slump. In the long run, you will feel more tired.

Source.

Cover photo: Stock-Asso / Shutterstock

Subscribe to our Telegram channel to keep up to date with the latest news and events!

12 habits that imperceptibly steal energy every day

Have you ever wondered why in the evening you are often left with almost no energy? Perhaps it’s all the fault of harmless habits that many do not even pay attention to.

Imagine that energy is a glass of water with a hole in it. There are two ways to maintain a sufficient amount of water in it: constantly add liquid or eliminate a gap.

To keep your energy levels high all day, you can make more healthy habits, such as eating right, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. And you can eliminate bad habits that take energy from your life.

1. Watch too emotional series and shows

The abundance of complex and emotionally exhausting content can lead to mental exhaustion. This is because we often identify with the main characters, imagine ourselves in their place and feel what they feel.

“These experiences allow a person to see the world in a different way and access emotions that they could not experience before,” explains psychiatrist Lila R. Magavi, MD.

However, strong emotions can lead to excessive nervous excitement. Suppression of signals of overexcitation requires even more mental effort, which means that we get tired faster. And this applies to both negative and positive experiences, since they activate similar connections in the brain.

How to solve problem

Choose your content carefully and note how you feel while watching it, as well as over the next hours and even days. This will help you find trigger topics that cause unnecessary excitement.

Another way is to limit the number of overly emotional films, series and shows and dilute them with more calm and neutral ones.

2. Take long breaks between meals

Our body gets energy from what we eat, and carbohydrates are its main source. Dietitian Caroline Lacey notes that some parts of the human body, such as the brain, can only use glucose, the simplest carbohydrate, for energy.

In addition, our body stores some glucose in the liver in case blood sugar drops, for example between meals.

Uma Naidu

Psychologist specializing in nutrition. Author of The Restless Mind.

When we eat more carbohydrates, especially simple carbohydrates, our blood insulin levels rise. After eating, it reaches a maximum, and the amount of sugar in the blood may decrease. It makes us feel tired and empty.

How to solve the problem

Usually experts advise to eat every five hours, but here everything is individual and depends on many factors. It's best to carry snacks with you at all times, such as healthy protein bars, nuts, or fruit.

3. Leaving a mess on the desktop

Working in a mess harms our attention. As a result, we spend much more time on the most basic tasks and they devour energy.

How to solve the problem

Maintain order on the desktop - let each thing have its own clearly designated place.

Leela R. Magavi

Psychiatrist.

My advice is to spend 10-15 minutes every work day cleaning your desk while listening to relaxing music. This will create a new useful and positive behavior model.

4. Planning too much in advance

One glance at a calendar with five or more tasks written down for each day can cause a rush of anxiety and a reluctance to leave the house. And now your energy is already running out, and you have not even begun to do business.

Tyson Lippe

Psychiatrist.

Planning ahead helps you allocate the right amount of time for each task and make sure you don't forget anything. However, excessive foresight deprives one of flexibility and forces one to live in the future, and not in the present.

How to solve the problem

Use planning only in certain areas of life: for work tasks, important meetings or family celebrations, appointments with a doctor. The rest of the time, try not to burden yourself with unnecessary chores.

“Setting aside free time for hobbies, relaxation or even doing nothing helps to feel like a free person who is in control of his life,” Tyson Lippe emphasizes.

5. Open too many windows in the browser

A huge number of tabs overstrains not only the computer, but also the brain.

Rena Mafi

Neurologist.

Switching from one tab to another gives the illusion that you are doing an incredible amount of work. In fact, you do not fully delve into any of the tasks, which means you cannot be truly effective.

How to solve the problem

Check regularly what you open in your browser. Ask yourself if you need this tab right now and if so, why. Any page that is not related to work can be added to the reading list or closed - most likely, it is just a distraction.

6. Answer incoming calls immediately

University of California, Irvine scientists have proven that it takes us more than 20 minutes to regain focus after any distraction. And phone conversations definitely fall into this category.

Rena Mafi

Neurologist.

Calls can be very stressful. The nervous system must not only switch to another task, but also “process” a conversation in which you do not see the body language and facial expressions of the interlocutor. And that puts more stress on the brain.

How to solve the problem

Before you press the green Accept Call button, stop and consider if now is a good time to stop what you are doing and if you are ready to talk at that moment.

Rena Mafi advises asking colleagues, family and friends to send you a “preventive” message before calling. This will give you extra time to understand whether you want to talk or not, and get rid of the thought that now you urgently need to look for a free minute among the bustle of work or home.

7. Drop tasks halfway through

You are probably familiar with this situation: today you have a lot of things to do, you have almost finished one of them, when something more urgent suddenly appeared. As a result, the initial work had to be postponed until later and headlong to take on a new assignment. But the brain doesn't work that way. A small piece of attention is involuntarily “delayed” along with that very unfinished task.

Rena Mafi

Neurologist.

When your attention "disintegrates", the brain begins to work twice as much. He thinks not only about the new task, but also about the one that you had to temporarily quit.

The more often this happens, the more resources the brain spends. No wonder we feel tired long before the end of the working day.

How to solve the problem

Unfortunately, there is no way to protect yourself from the appearance of new instructions, but there are a couple of tricks that will help the brain cope with them more efficiently.

Rena Mafi advises you to work with the settings on your phone or computer and regularly check for new messages only when you really have the opportunity to do so.

You can also allocate more time for a task than you need. Then, even with the advent of new cases, you will be able to complete the previous assignments on time and only then deal with the next ones.

If these tactics don't work, try sketching out a plan of what needs to be completed in the previous task when you can return to it. This will save you from unnecessary thinking, because you will already have a strategy for further actions and you will be able to complete the assignment much faster.

8. Slouching

Doctor Noin Safdar notes that poor posture puts additional stress on muscles, joints and tendons. As a result, the body needs more energy, which leads to fatigue.

How to solve the problem

If it is difficult to keep the perfect posture on your own, use special tools: a comfortable office chair with a suitable back, an orthopedic pillow, or even a corrective corset.

Take note 👈

How to correct posture: simple exercises and tricks

9. Wrong breathing

Most often this happens when the head is full of thoughts and problems. Shallow breathing reduces the amount of oxygen entering the body - and therefore in the blood, organs and cells. This can trigger connections in the brain that lead to fatigue.

How to solve the problem

Every time you feel stress coming on, take a few deep breaths in and out. It is better not to wait for the exhaustion of moral strength and perform breathing exercises during work breaks, as well as at the beginning and end of the day.

Try diaphragmatic breathing. Place one hand on your upper chest and the other on your stomach. Breathe in through your nose while sticking out your belly and keeping your chest still. Exhale through slightly pursed lips, tighten the abdominal muscles and let them return to their original position.

Find out more 😤

Do you want to change your life for the better? Breathe deeply

10. Save small tasks for later

Responding to a message, replacing a burned-out light bulb, taking your pet to the veterinarian - gradually all these small things turn into a huge list that makes your head spin. And even the simplest tasks seem impossible simply because of their number.

Persistent thoughts such as "I need to finally do this" can cause feelings of guilt and even anxiety.

How to solve the problem

Ideally, any task that takes less than five minutes should be done right away. If this is not possible, it is better not to rely on your memory, but to write down everything that needs to be done. This will help you feel calmer, because you will definitely not forget about it and deal with the issue as soon as there is time.

You can set aside 30 to 60 minutes per week to work on these lists. This will allow you to replace guilt with a sense of productivity.

11. Do not turn off the light at night

Bright light at night makes our brain think that the day is still going on. This inhibits the production of the sleep hormone melatonin and leads to insomnia and fatigue.

How to solve the problem

After sunset, try to reduce the brightness and turn off the lights completely at night. Try using warmer colors for lighting, closer to the red spectrum. It does not affect the sleep cycle as negatively as others.

12. Follow other people's advice

Relatives and friends can guide you along the way, but their advice should always be adapted to suit your own goals and personality. Otherwise, you risk becoming a puppet for the realization of other people's desires.

Blindly following the advice of others takes time and energy, and also leads to frustration and even rejection of oneself or the situation.

Learn more