Codependent personality disorder test

Am I Codependent? Codependency Quiz

This quiz is based on the seminal work of Melody Beattie in her book “Codependent No More.”

Do you tend to put your partner’s needs above your own? Does your mood shift based on your partner’s mood?

If you often forsake your own well-being for your partner’s, putting most of your energy into supporting them more than yourself, you may be in a codependent relationship.

Codependence refers to a repeated pattern of behavior that involves prioritizing the needs of others over your own.

You may have started the relationship not intending to become so dependent on the other person, but you’ve noticed that lately, your wants have slowly taken a back seat to theirs.

And this doesn’t just happen in your romantic relationships, but with friends, family, and even coworkers.

Some common codependency signs include:

a tendency to ignore or minimize your own feelings
doing things you don’t want to do to make the other person happy
a tendency to apologize or take the blame to keep the peace and avoid conflict
an excessive need to get approval from others
a tendency to neglect your own desires and needs
changing your mood to reflect how others feel or behave
excessive concern about that person’s habits or behaviors
experiencing guilt or anxiety when doing something for yourself
a sense of self-worth and self-esteem that depends on what others think of you
taking on more work than you can handle to lighten someone else’s load

Several factors can contribute to codependency. Childhood trauma and past relationships with your parents or caregivers may play a role in codependency.

If your codependent behavior begins to interfere with your daily life, consider reaching out to a mental health professional.

Codependency isn’t a formal diagnosis, but a mental health professional will be able to help you determine the underlying cause of this behavior. And with the right support, you can learn to manage it and build fulfilling friendships and relationships.

This codependency test is meant for anyone who thinks they may have traits of codependency and may benefit from professional support.

The statements in this quiz can help you figure out whether you might need the support of a mental health professional for the symptoms you’ve been experiencing.

A therapist can also help you determine if your issues may be a symptom of a different mental health condition and recommend a treatment plan if necessary.

This online screening is not intended to be a diagnostic tool. It will not guarantee that you may have traits of codependency.

Keep in mind that codependency is not an official diagnosis but a group of behaviors, tendencies, and traits that may require intervention and attention.

A mental health professional may be able to help you recognize the signs of codependency, overcome people-pleasing tendencies, and address any related mental health symptoms such as feelings of guilt or anxiety.

If you think a partner, friend, or family member may have codependency traits, you can take this quiz on behalf of them as well.

Keep in mind that the results may not be as accurate because they’re based on your perception of them and not their direct personal experience.

How do I know if I’m codependent?

The most telltale sign of codependency is a repeated pattern of putting the needs, well-being, and self-care of others over your own. Other signs of codependency include changing your mood based on how the other person behaves, doing things you don’t want to do to make the other person happy, having self-worth or self-esteem that depends on what the other person thinks of you, or neglecting your own desires or needs to please or fulfill those of your partner.

What are 10 characteristics of a codependent person?

Ten common character traits of codependency include:

a tendency to minimize or ignore your own needs
neglecting your own needs and desires to satisfy those of the other person
self-worth or self-esteem that depends on what others think of you
an excessive need for the approval of others
doing things you don’t want to do to please the other person
taking on more work than you can handle to lighten the other person’s load
having anxiety or guilt when doing something for yourself
taking on the blame to keep the peace and avoid conflict
shifting or changing your mood to reflect how the other person feels
a repeated pattern of avoiding conflict

There may be other signs of codependency including having a fear of rejection or making decisions for others to manage the other person’s expectations.

What does codependent behavior look like?

Codependency refers to a pattern of behavior that involves suppressing your own needs, well-being, and desires to meet those of another person. Some people associate codependent behavior with romantic relationships, but it can also be seen in relationships with friends, family, and even coworkers.

What mental illness has codependency?

Codependent behavior can be a symptom of several mental health conditions, including

borderline personality disorder
dependent personality disorder

post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
histrionic personality disorder
complex trauma

Codependency Quiz: Are You Codependent?

Maybe you're not sure if you're co-dependent or not. Taking a codependency quiz can help you understand if you are.

Below, you'll see several different questions. Answer them as honestly as you can. If your answer is yes, click the box. If your answer is no, leave the box blank. When you're finished with the quiz, enter your email address in the box and click the submit button. You'll immediately be directed to your results.

How do I Know if I Have a Codependent Personality?

There are certain characteristics that tend to dominate when a person has a codependent personality. They can include:

Feeling responsible for the way other people feel, their thoughts, their choices and their general well-being.
Finding it easy to feel and express anger when something bad happens to others, but not when something bad happens to you.
Feeling your best when you are giving to other people.
Feeling guilty when someone gives to you.
Feeling compelled to help people fix their problems.
Getting involved with another person to the point where you lose interest in your own life.
Being unable to stop thinking, talking or worrying about other people and what is happening in their lives.
Remaining in relationships that are not working.
Tolerating abusive treatment just so the person will continue to love you.
Leaving a bad relationship to form new ones that are just as destructive.
Feeling empty inside without a crisis to deal with or a problem to solve.
Having a hard time identifying what you are feeling inside.
Getting upset when a person refuses your help.

Are Codependent Relationships Always Bad?

Even if you are trying not to be codependent, every relationship has some level of codependency in it. This is reasonable to a point because it is normal for one person to ask the other for advice about major decisions. But there is a fine line that can be easily crossed if you are not careful.

It is really important to ask yourself this question: Is my relationship healthy? If you are seeking out, maintaining or even feeding off a relationship that is not healthy, you could be codependent. But a lot of experts believe that the term codependent is one that encourages too much independence in humans who were designed to be interdependent.

True codependency comes from a place of anxiety. You or your partner want reassurance and you do not want to take any risks. As a result, you check in with your significant other because doing so helps you feel safer.

Codependency becomes a serious problem when one person starts to feel like they are being suffocated. Or, it can turn bad when one person is constantly sacrificing their own needs to make the other person happy.

How Can I Overcome Codependency?

Even before you get any type of treatment, if you believe you are in a codependent relationship, there are some changes you can start to make right now. It is possible to heal from codependency, but it takes a lot of work.

Some of the healthy steps you can take include:

Being honest with yourself and your partner about your needs and desires. Stop doing things you do not want to do because it will only breed resentment later on.
Change negative thought patterns into positive ones. Codependents often find it hard to think positively, and it will take some practice to let go of those negative thoughts.
Stop taking things personally. This can be very difficult to do; especially if you are in an intimate relationship. Work on accepting the other person as they are without feeling the need to fix or change them.
Take breaks from your partner. You should have a life outside of your codependent relationship. Take some time and go out with your friends or spend some time with close family members. This does not take away from your relationship, and if it is done correctly, it can add so much depth to it.
Consider going to counseling. It can be so helpful to talk with an unbiased third party about what you are going through. They can help you identify codependent issues in your relationship and work to repair them in healthy ways.

What Causes Codependency?

Codependency may be caused by several different factors, such as:

Growing up in a home in which your emotions were punished or even ignored altogether. This can result in you having feelings of low self-esteem or shame. You may believe that your needs are not worth tending to as a result.
Being in a relationship with someone who has an addiction. This can mean that they are addicted to alcohol, drugs, shopping, gambling or another addictive behavior. The codependent becomes the caretaker out of a desire to help, but their own needs take a back seat.
Living in a household where abuse is common. This can refer to emotional or physical abuse. The codependent may find themselves feeling responsible for the abusive person. If they have an untreated mental health problem, the codependent may attempt to help them feel better by caring for them more.
Codependent parents may attempt to protect their children from experiencing problems or hardships in their lives. They may attempt to control them in a way that will result in the child meeting the parent’s expectations for success.
Taking care of someone with a disability, chronic or terminal illness. Many caregivers find that their lives end up revolving around the person they are caring for. Their own needs and wants come in second or not at all.

Is Codependency a Mental Illness?

Some experts view codependency as a mental illness. But the more correct definition is that it is an emotional and behavioral condition that can impact a person’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. Sometimes it is referred to as a relationship addiction. This is because codependents tend to have one-sided, destructive relationships with other people.

What are the Best Therapies for Codependency?

If you believe you are codependent, it can be helpful to sit down with a therapist and discuss your relationships. Therapy can make such a big difference. The same is true for 12-Step groups, which can provide much-needed peer support. Sometimes medications may also be recommended.

Dependent Personality Disorder Test

If you have questions related to mental health, you can ask a question to our consultant

This self-assessment test determines the likelihood of having a dependent personality disorder.

When answering the test items below, please mark the answers that best correspond to your condition

Man Woman Age:

1. Before making any decision, I consult with others for a long time.

Never
Rare
Sometimes
Often/Always

2. In order to make any decision, I need moral support and approval from others

Never
Rare
Sometimes
Often/Always

3. I feel the need for someone to be responsible for important aspects of my life.

Never
Rare
Sometimes
Often/Always

4. It can be difficult for me to express disagreement with others because I am afraid of losing their goodwill towards me.

Never
Rare
Sometimes
Often/Always

5. Due to self-doubt, it is difficult for me to start a business on my own.

Never
Rare
Sometimes
Often/Always

Please, provide answers to all given questions.

/10 12

psymed.info

This psychological test is only a preliminary assessment of the condition and does not determine the exact diagnosis. If your test results indicate that you may have dependent personality disorder, please see a specialist for a diagnosis.

Dependent Personality Disorder: 10 Signs - How to Recognize a Problem

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Man and Woman Practices how to Loneliness

Photo: Unsplash

Natalie couldn't figure out why her sister Amanda wasn't divorcing. She watched for years how she tolerates his betrayals, unbearable character, desire to control every step, even cruelty. The sister constantly complained about her husband, but did not divorce him. When Natalie realized that the cause was dependent personality disorder, it became easier for her to communicate with her sister. How to understand that it is in him?

1. Strong fear of separation

Fear of separation is not the same as fear of rejection. When we fear separation, we feel rejected. When we are afraid of separation, we do not perceive ourselves as a complete person without another person.

2. Reluctance to make decisions

Since childhood, Amanda has been afraid to make decisions. She needed a million advice from her sister in any situation, until a husband appeared in her life. Even after she had already made some decision, she repeatedly asked if she had done the right thing.

3. The need to shift responsibility to others

This can be about anything: finances, the decision to marry or divorce, the principles of raising children, and so on. People with ADHD are usually happy to give it all to someone else. For a man who wants to control everything, such a wife becomes an ideal choice, because he does not tolerate attacks on authority in the house. However, such a "coincidence" of two people is dysfunctional.

4. Fear of confrontation

Amanda hated conflict situations and preferred never to argue with her husband and even with Natalie herself, she was afraid of losing their sympathy and approval. Because of this, she constantly endured what she did not like at all.

5. The habit of doing things you don't really want to do

One day, after going to the church where her sister worked as a volunteer, Natalie noticed that she was very upset. Natalie asked if she liked helping out during a church service. The sister admitted that she never wanted and does not want to do this, but one of the ministers pressed on the feeling of guilt, saying that there was no one else who could not cope without her.

6. Belief in their inadequacy

People with ADHD sincerely believe that they cannot take care of themselves, so they definitely need someone else who will be responsible for them. Usually they cannot be alone for a long time, without some kind of relationship. If there is a break, they fill this void with friends and relatives until a new partner appears.

7. False passivity and helplessness

One of the contradictions in Amanda's case was that she was a very successful and confident woman at work. At home, she became passive and unable to make decisions. Natalie knew that, in fact, her sister was more than capable of doing serious things and being responsible for them.

8. Hypersensitivity to criticism

Sister Natalie was comfortable with constructive criticism at work, but the slightest disapproval from loved ones became a disaster for her. Any reproach from her husband was unsettling. When her husband temporarily disappeared from life, this attitude was transferred to Natalie - her sister could not bear even a hint of disapproval of some actions.

9. Tolerance to violence

One of the main characteristics of such people is the ability to ignore violence against them, to justify the abuser in all possible ways. Even if aggression is obvious, it is difficult to resist. This attitude makes them a target for controlling people.

10. Failure to respect their own needs

People with this disorder consider the needs of others more important. Especially when it comes to the person they "rely" on. They gladly satisfy other people's desires, because they consider this a manifestation of love. Unfortunately, this feature is often used for selfish purposes, putting people with ADHD in an unpleasant or even dangerous position.

Some time later, my sister still found the strength to get a divorce, and her family supported her.

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