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Can extroverts become introverts


10 Signs You're an 'Extroverted' Introvert

Although you find relationships deeply fulfilling, unlike a true extrovert, you don’t have the energy to maintain a large social network.

At times, when you read about what introversion means, you feel like someone is spying on your life. Yes, you love being alone. You hate making shallow small talk. Spending too much time socializing with other people leaves you feeling drained, irritable, and sometimes even physically unwell (a.k.a. the introvert hangover).

Yet other aspects of introversion don’t resonate with you at all. You have plenty of friends. You enjoy meeting new people. Even though you prefer meaningful conversation, you’re actually pretty good at making light chitchat.

So are you really an introvert?

What Is an ‘Extroverted’ Introvert?

Enter the “extroverted” introvert.

The extroverted introvert is known by many names. Some call it the “outgoing introvert” or the “social introvert. ” Others argue that this personality represents ambiversion, which is a combination of both introversion and extroversion.

So what does “extroverted introvert” really mean?

The thing to understand about introversion is that it is not an all-or-nothing trait. Even Carl Jung, the famous psychiatrist who introduced the concept of introversion/extroversion, said there is no such thing as a “pure” introvert or extrovert. Really, we all act introverted at times and extroverted at other times, depending on the circumstances, our goals, and our energy levels.

So, instead of thinking of ourselves as pure introverts or extroverts, we should think of ourselves as falling somewhere on the introversion/extroversion spectrum. Some of us will fall closer to the far ends, meaning we are very introverted or very extroverted. Most of us will fall closer to the middle, giving us qualities of both introversion and extroversion.

If you think of yourself as an extroverted introvert, it probably means you’re an introvert at heart — but you may be more outgoing than other introverts because your personality falls closer to the middle of the spectrum.

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Signs You’re an ‘Extroverted Introvert’

Are you an extroverted introvert? If so, you’ll recognize yourself in these 10 signs.

1. Your energy level is closely tied to your environment.

You’re sensitive to your surroundings. To you, it matters how your environment looks, what kind of music is playing, how many people are present, the noise level, etc.. The ambiance of a place can either energize or drain you, depending on whether it fits your preferences. A loud rock concert in a crowded stadium might be overwhelming, but an up-close-and-personal acoustic set at your favorite club is soothing.

2. You find people to be both intriguing and exhausting.

People watching? Yes. Meeting new people and hearing their life stories? Fascinating. Spending almost every night hanging out with friends? Not a chance. Outgoing introverts enjoy meeting new people but can only endure so much socializing. After a busy weekend or a long day at work, you may feel the need to disappear and recharge by spending time alone or with just one other person.

3. Certain people and interactions drain you while others recharge you.

You have a few friends who you could hang out with for practically forever. It seems like you never run out of things to talk about. Being with them is easy. You actually feel better after spending time with them, not drained — and you act pretty outgoing around them. Other people tire or bore you quickly and you need to get away fast. For you, being alone is better than settling for second-rate company.

4. You can be charming but also deeply introspective and reflective.

You can make small talk when it’s expected of you, like at your child’s parent-teacher conference or when meeting a new coworker. You also know that small talk can lead to deeper, more authentic conversation. People tend to feel comfortable around you, because you read others well, and you also have a knack for getting others talking and opening up about themselves. When you’re out with friends, you might be the person in the group who makes sure that everyone’s having a good time. However, most people don’t realize how “in your head” you really are. Although you appear social and lighthearted, your mind is always running behind the scenes.

5. When you feel rested and recharged, you reach out to others.

You’re often the one who organizes social events for others. Playing the host is ideal for the extroverted introvert because it allows you to spend time with people — but on your own terms. However, when you run out of energy, you’re out, and like a true introvert, all you want to do is hibernate at home.

6. You need time to warm up in social situations.

Your first impression often belies your real personality. At first, you come across as quiet and reserved. But once you feel comfortable around the person, you have no trouble chatting. No, you won’t spill your entire life story or divulge your insecurities to someone you’ve just met, but you will reveal intimate details once trust has built up. The better someone gets to know you, the more “extroverted” you seem.

7. It actually takes less energy to say what’s on your mind than to make small talk.

True extroverts rarely struggle with what to say. It’s easy from them to shoot from the hip and make chitchat about almost any topic. But not so for most introverts. Many introverts find it difficult to force small talk. They’d rather talk about big ideas or connect in an honest, authentic way. This is especially true of extroverted introverts. It’s far easier for them to say what’s on their mind than to fake a rousing discussion about the weather.

Do you ever struggle to know what to say?

As an introvert, you actually have the ability to be an amazing conversationalist — even if you’re quiet and hate small talk. To learn how, we recommend this online course from our partner Michaela Chung. Click here to check out the Introvert Conversation Genius course.

8. You’re selectively social.

Although you find relationships deeply fulfilling, unlike a true extrovert, you don’t have the energy to maintain a large social network. Plus, you don’t click with just anybody. So you make your limited “people” energy count by investing it into just a few close relationships.

9. You have no interest in trying to prove yourself in a crowd of strangers.

At networking events or parties, you’re not someone who “works the room.” Nor do you feel the need to draw a lot of attention to yourself in social situations. Yes, you see the value in making connections with others, and you especially love those rare moments when you meet a like-minded soul. But you’ll probably never be the most popular person in the room — and you’re okay with that fact.

10. You’re often confused for an extrovert.

Your friends and family don’t believe that you’re an introvert because you’re just so social. In fact, it may have taken you a while to realize that you’re an introvert, because you play the extrovert so well. Now you find yourself constantly having to explain your introversion and how you get your energy. Unfortunately, most people don’t get it.

Keep in mind that there’s no wrong way to do introversion. You can be outgoing and still be an introvert. It’s all about understanding your needs and honoring your own style, even if that means being the life of the party one night and then binge watching Netflix alone the next night.

You might like:

  • 25 Illustrations That Perfectly Capture the Joy of Living Alone as an Introvert
  • 12 Things Introverts Absolutely Need to Be Happy
  • Why Introverts Absolutely Loathe Talking on the Phone
  • 13 ‘Rules’ for Being Friends With an Introvert
  • 15 Signs That You’re an Introvert With High-Functioning Anxiety

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How an Extrovert Became Introverted

August 22, 2014Bloganalysis, Coaching, communication styles, extroversion, extroverts, introversion, introverts, leadership, management, managing, networking, personality syles, personality traits, relationship building, relationships, self-awarenessNicole North

How an Extrovert Became Introverted

I’m having an identity crisis. After years of being the world’s biggest extrovert (to quote one of my friends, who I do not believe was attesting to my outstanding theatrical ability , “…the most dramatic person I’ve ever met.”), I think I’ve become an introvert. Here’s the kicker.  I’m strangely not upset about it, given my historic distaste for those weird quiet folk. I might be actually sighing in relief and embracing my new me.

Our training curriculum on leadership, communication, relationship building, change management, and coaching focuses a great deal on both self-awareness and diagnosis of the personality and communications styles of our teams, peers, and colleagues.  To better how to understand others we must better understand ourselves (click to tweet). With this recent revelation on my newfound introversion, I am suddenly in a place to re-discover and understand my new self. After years of being horrified at the reserved, quiet, and thoughtful personas of my introvert friends because I couldn’t understand them, I suddenly have to be one. And maybe rather than my standard self-loathing/self-deprecating comedy routine, I can instead learn to leverage those introverted characteristics that I once loathed.

Extroverts have long been touted as great leaders, and in fact many introverts have adopted extrovert traits to better fit in to the traditional mold of extrovert-leaders. A plethora of management material focuses on how extroverts can better deal with introverts or how introverts can be more like extroverts.  But maybe just like me, the times are changing and we can embrace and leverage our quiet and thoughtful allies more strategically.

Let’s Review: Introverts Vs. Extroverts

Extroverts

  • Outgoing
  • talkative
  • energetic
  • assertive
  • likes to lead
  • prefers group activities
  • derives energy from other people

Introverts

  • reserved
  • derives energy from solitary behaviour
  • enjoys activities alone or one-on-one (rather than in groups)
  • analytical/detail oriented
  • observe before participating/speaking
  • thoughtful
  • make up a smaller amount of the population
  • enjoy working independently

Exploit the Extroverts

  1. Let them lead.  As a former extrovert, please let us take the lead on something.  Please let us interact with ALL the people. Even if you cannot trust us to be the boss of everything, give us SOMETHING to manage.  Give us the OK to assert ourselves, burst with energetic excitement, and try not to drive everyone else nuts.
  2. Leverage their social credits.  Extroverts love to network – so let them.  Let them handle luncheons, breakfast networking meetings, boat cruises and so on and so forth. Then, go back to #1.

Invigorate the Introverts

  1. Let them think.  Let the early talkers talk. Let the opinions be heard.  And then invite the thoughtful response of the introvert be heard, when they are ready. Don’t assume just because they haven’t said anything yet, that there isn’t something brilliant lingering in there.
  2. Let them recharge.  Let them have time to re-coup and re-energize – alone.  Then, they are ready to go back to #1 and think some more.

Back to Me.

So what happened to me?  To be fair, there is still a great deal of extrovert lurking there within me.  Introversion and extroversion aren’t categorical, they are on a continuum.  Maybe I’m just visiting the introvert side for a bit?  Some theories suggest that introversion tends to express itself more as we age (like wrinkles and grey hair weren’t enough to worry about).  Others suggest that our needs at a certain time in our lives dictate our expression of these personality traits.  This makes sense, after 10 years of doing alot of independent desk work, I’m suddenly facilitating, teaching, selling, and networking 24/7 .  Previously I derived my energy from social activities. And now I derive energy from a day-ful of teaching, but need a Netflix marathon or four hours of obsessive reading of a certain Scottish Historical Fiction Saga in order to recharge.

After years of interrupting you to tell you about my story, I’m much happier listening to yours and silently judging you (JUST KIDDING!). Maybe I’m old. Maybe I’m tired. Maybe I’m “on” at work and need to be “off” the rest of the time.  Whatever the cause, I’m embracing the new me.  And embracing all those creepy quiet introverts I interuppted for the last 34 years. Sorry guys. I get you now. Want to share your introvert/extrovert transformation?  Talk to us on Twitter @whiteboardcons using the hashtag #introvertsarethenewextroverts #exploittheextroverts or #invigoratetheintroverts.

Until next time,

Nicole

Question to the expert: "Can an extrovert become an introvert?"

“This question has been tormenting me for several days now. I asked it to everyone I know and whom I don't know. I asked professional psychologists and teachers, no one gives a definite answer, opinions are divided. One thing unites people: almost everyone perceives introverts as something negative and uncomfortable. And I think that initially we are all ambiverts, but as we grow and develop, while we are brought up, some qualities from one side or another begin to prevail in us. Therefore, during the formation of a personality in the puberty period, we already classify ourselves as extra- or intro-. But we are always changing - and the inner world, and views, and circumstances, and the environment - and our temperament is also subject to change. So an extrovert can become an introvert and vice versa, but the second is more difficult because of the stereotypes of society. I address you as an authority in the field of psychology. What do you think about this and why? nine0003

Sandra, 23

Larisa Kharlanova, psychologist:

“Hello, Sandra!

Introversion or extraversion is not something that can be brought up in us - just like temperament, however.

If we acquire this way of communicating with the world, it is very early in childhood. All we can do is keep this personality in mind when making important career decisions or when we face something that is very difficult for us to do and difficult to participate in. People evaluate introverts negatively because they do not really understand what is at stake. This is easily confused with schizoid traits or autistic manifestations. nine0003

We have little chance of developing the other side of ourselves in much the same way as the dominant side. When raising children, choosing activities for them, it is very important to take into account their characteristics, protecting them from unnecessary overwork. But it is known that many people become more extroverted in the second half of life and vice versa, introversion becomes available to extroverts.

Recently, in the auditorium of a psychological club in Zurich, the old building where the Jung Institute was founded, the phrase was heard: “I understand that 90% of the people present here now are introverts, but I suggest ... "The leader of the meeting invited everyone to stand up and get to know as many people as possible, the time for each "meeting" was limited and the sound of the gong had to go to another person.

It is known that most people who choose the profession of a psychologist are introverts. For example, it was difficult for me to talk and meet a new person every 5 minutes, but when I realized that this was only because I was an introvert, that, after all, on the contrary, the same person and that everything, in the most difficult case, is limited In 5 minutes, I was able to relax, turn it into a game for myself, and enjoy the conversation. And an extrovert would not even think for a second, starting to communicate. nine0003

An introvert is not someone who can't communicate, it's a person who always and above all turns into himself. An introvert can behave like an extrovert, but this will require more mental energy from him.

Can an extrovert become an introvert?

Can an extrovert ...

10 answers

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15:36

#4

#7

Guest

Extraversion and introversion are too polar concepts, and there are very few real extroverts and introverts. Most people are ambiverts. Ambiversion is an intermediate zone, when a person has a bit of both an extrovert and an introvert. Therefore, the transition from one state to another, depending on the circumstances, can be considered normal. nine0003

#8

Guest

Well, I hung out, drank and did what I wanted. And they say they don't marry people like that)

#9

Guest

Well - hanging out, drinking and doing what she wanted. And they say they don't get married)

#10

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